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I’ve been rejected all year, hundreds of approaches in bars, going out 4 times a week, becoming a club promoter... Last girl made me go on three dates and obviously just wants to lock me down. I can’t pull from the bar. I have no motivation and I’m feeling very down.

I’m supposed to go out tonight again but I don’t feel like it. Fuck. Any words of wisdom guys?


[–]1900_year_old_vampire 43 points44 points  (19 children)

"Last girl made me go on three dates and obviously just wants to lock me down"

nobody made you do jack shit. also, why are you taking women you arent sleeping with on dates?

"I can’t pull from the bar to my place"

so stop going to the bar and just invite them over to kick it

"I haven’t had sex in a year and I’m going fucking crazy"

go fuck some 6 to get the wind back in your sails

[–]oyoungpadawan 20 points21 points  (3 children)

go fuck some 6 to get the wind back in your sails

Words of wisdom.

I went for 8-9 often and hit a dry spell. Just keep fucking 6-7 (even 5's with nice asses when drunk) and sidegame/long con 8-9's, they will fuck you but you can't look desperate at all.

[–]menial_optimist -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

I love fucking 2's

[–]mnsmon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why?

[–]writewhereileftoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As in 22year olds? Sure

[–]nauticalfuck5 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What's 6 in the last statement ? Noob here

[–]cultraised 4 points5 points  (2 children)

HB6, a 6/10, a woman who is not ugly but only slightly above average.

[–]onizloms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A 6 is average. A 5 is below average. At least that's how most people interpret it.

[–]nauticalfuck5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks

[–]bannedfromWTFmod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take this dudes advice OP, I have on a number of occaisons and it worked to my advantage.

[–]cobalt1728 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Except you need to be a fucking 10 to get a 6 today.....

[–]1900_year_old_vampire 1 point2 points  (7 children)

wrong

[–]cobalt1728 0 points1 point  (6 children)

I mean there are exceptions to the rule but generally we see high smv guys with low smv girls.

[–]1900_year_old_vampire 2 points3 points  (5 children)

any guy who isnt a total slob can get pretty much whoever he wants if he acts right. theres certainly no shortage of 6's and 7's out there who desperately want to be dominated but generally get ignored by "high smv guys". so if you arent a slob and you dont act like a total faggot, you can just do whatever you want man. its easy

[–]cobalt1728 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I am in a shitthole feminist bullshit city so it is different here.

[–]1900_year_old_vampire 2 points3 points  (3 children)

i sincerely doubt it

[–]cobalt1728 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Well, it is

[–]1900_year_old_vampire 3 points4 points  (1 child)

nah. its just you man. if you think those feminist chicks arent getting dicked down all the time just like everyone else in every other city on the entire planet, you are mistaken

[–]notyourfathersfather 72 points73 points  (2 children)

You have to ask yourself why are you being rejected. Doing the same thing over and over is a waste of time if you’re not getting the results you want. A VERY good post on the main sub “The most important thing is just not giving up on yourself” would be good to read, it’s a good kick in the ass. Don’t give up. Most people quit at 40%. You’re not most people. It’s time to start acting like it.

Standard rules apply: - Lift if you aren’t already. - Stop jerking off - Find a hobby -Get some goals, all men need a mission -Be better than you were the day before. Every day.

[–]nomba 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is the way to look at it - keep making yourself better. Do not let your frustration push you in the other direction. Quite honestly, once you are having sex with a lot of women, there is a good chance it is not going to be a big deal to you. Would you rather be having sex and be a shadow of what you could be, or be pushing yourself higher and not have sex?

[–]velinxs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to add grooming to this list. Shows broads you care about yourself.

[–]redd_reality 51 points52 points  (3 children)

Here's a biscuit for ya. People aren't obtainable like material things. You can't put more energy into them directly and expect a return.

Girls are like cats. They come to you when they want to come to you and they leave when they want to leave. You are never directly in control of any of it.

The only way to get women to want to come to you is to already be valuable. And most importantly, do as little as possible to let the pussy know how badly you want to stroke her. The moment she knows you're desperate, she will not care about you.

So, be valuable. Valuable men people have everything in abundance. They don't lose their cool (frame) for anything, because they know, with certainty, that life will provide them with what they need very soon, even if this instance doesn't pan out, because that's the way things go for valuable people.

Stop focusing on women, especially sex. my only immediate piece of advice for you is to go out with only the desire to enjoy yourself in each moment NOT for the aim or goal of banging and broad. They can smell it on you and so can every game aware, high value dude.

Enjoy yourself, make your enjoyment your top priority and when she shows interest in you, don't show your hand all at once. Because you're a high value guy, you don't give two shits how hot she is or if she has a nice warm hole between her legs. You give a shit if she is an interesting, respectful and decent girl whom you actually enjoy being in her presence.

[–]1walawalawa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Holy shit...pure gold here...

[–]Falling1337 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wise words my man

[–]blister333 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The women like cats analogy is so spot on. I had a great cat growing up, but earning her attention was a game. If you were sitting down, she may come up to you. In order to get her to sit on your lap, you had to have a back and forth over eye contact. You had to give her just enough eye contact to show you were interested, but If you showed too much, she’d walk away knowing she’s too good for you. This is exactly how women are.

[–]excred 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Out of all your dads sperm you were the chosen one lol.Go out and have fun, fuck pleasing others, go enjoy yourself. Do what you want to do, it’s your life.

[–]Blckclaw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How is that going to help him?

  • I'm failing all my exams -
  • Bro just chill take those exams for fun -

[–]ggggggggee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not a super Chad, I also don't screw chicks everyday. I am 2.5 months into trp so take this with a grain of salt.

I would say work on your shit. Get your priorities in order. If you are getting worked up over rejection you are placing too much of your emotions on what women/others think. I know it sounds stereotypical af but chase goals, not women. They will join along the ride.

And about not banging a chick I'm over a year, I'm pretty much an incel lmfao(I still hold on to my religious beliefs....and I'm not the best with women haha) . Use that testosterone to push your body to the limit In working out and getting shit done. Use that energy and put it to good use.

Good luck out there brother.

(I found this video helpful)

https://youtu.be/Q8sj5tbqPVI

Edit: added some words

[–]ajdx88 1 points1 points [recovered]

I don't know the length of your sets but if you do hundreds of approaches in bars seems like you do a lot of short sets and get flaky numbers. Try doing a long set, force yourself to stay in set and get a solid number. Stop the three dates shit. Either invite her over and cook dinner or you offer to come over with a bottle of wine. You gotta go back to the drawing board bro, obviously what you doin aint working and you need to identify what is not working.

[–]TopDawgTRP 1 points1 points [recovered]

Well said brother. Thanks.

[–]IcreateMoney 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Go to places like electronic music festivals, events, places where there are lots of girls and they drink/get loose whatever. Then do this shit with girls you like in the palce : Smile and talk to them like you'd talk anyone close to you. Talk to them to make them laugh like your best friend. If you're not funny or if you think youre awkward then try and learn some good lines to get you started. Dont forget to smile. When you talk to a girl dont be shy to touch her. No weird quick moves just be yourself calm and steady and grab her hips for example and wink at her then you can let go. You have to make them feel comfortable next to you. Live in the present moment laugh about whats happening right now in front of you dont try and think about shit.

I personally gamed girls so much I became good at it. It's definitely a craft/technique and I had to learn it. You have to learn it too. If you dont make them smile/blush/laugh then try another technique until you find one that works.

When you finally find a technique that works you'll know... when it tells you inside that you have her THEN YOU HAVE HER and you gotta take everything you've got and make the move. DO NOT HESITATE when you get that little feeling inside. Guys of experience will know what I'm talking about. You have to act quick this is important.

I could go on and on about this shit man I did it so much got rejected so much but trust me when you start getting the hang of it you know that all this hard work was well worth it.

Btw my native language is french not english so forgive me for my mistakes :)

Good luck.

[–]empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not op but thanks for this comment.

[–]1walawalawa 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I find myself in these situations and then start to consider---am I giving off some sort of negative feedback because i'm inside my head over this wave of rejections?

When this happens...i'll pull back. I'll reframe in my head some positive self-talk. I'll stop approaching and gaming for the moment. Leave. Get a good night's sleep and then consider my options.

A related point: after a long period in my current job I just found out my supervisor wants me out---lots of different reasons---he's made it personal but the facts and my employment history make it hard for him to say I did anything wrong. He sees me too tied into a past administration and he wants his people in.

it was a shock. I'm thinking "What did I do wrong?" Then I consider all the amazing things I've done, the positive client feedback, the huge positive vibes from my colleagues...and my mindset is now one of "Freedom."

I'm approaching NEW potential clients. The response is amazing. Everyone wants to talk to me. Everyone is supportive.

So...it's mindset my friend. No one can make you change, you have to find the strength to do it yourself. There are tons of resources to help fix your game. We here can offer insights and support but you my friend must do it on your own. You can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In cases like this, there’s often one fundamental thing that’s going wrong, and when you fix it, things start going right in a major way. We’d need more info to point out what it might be specifically.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A 6 becomes an 8 after a few drinks, that's 1 solution to 1 of your problems. You are probably carrying some desperation, maybe you're not comfortable in your own skin.

[–]Ricardo2991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) Stop focusing on the end result so much
2) Don't go out for girls
3) Keep working on your SMV
4) And work on your game if your SMV is good enough already.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lose motivation when all you can get is YES

[–]bannedfromWTFmod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you get them out past 3 dates and one isnt dinner at your place, that could be why you aren't having sex.

If you cant cook, make something easy or get drinks and to go food to eat at your place and have more drinks.

Never mention sex, just use subtle undertones.

[–]Cmdrj-nice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to recalibrate. Try to record what you do so you can see what you are doing wrong

[–]_the_shape_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try expanding your social circle, or better - belonging to more social circles. This also provides you with a legitimate degree of plausible deniability to see several different prospective women on a regular basis. You don't have to rush it this way, and you'll inevitably get to know one another some way or another eventually. You can also crank up the dread in this realm with relative ease.

My advice is to keep cold approaching, but deliberately use it as a tool, a means to an end to help you be razor sharp in the warm-approach arena.

The key is to always be making friends and looking for ways to either gain access to or create new social groups.

[–]Nis_law 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All i can say is you will get laid when u stop caring about getting laid. You are very close. Frustration because of going in too deep in honing yourself is a good thing and there is a sudden quantum jump in one's psyche where you stop caring.

[–]IkmoIkmo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you ugly or dissing anyone who isn't a model, a year of 4d a day spending in a club is a long time not to get laid without there being something wrong with you or your choice of women. To say anything you'd need more info, what number would you give yourself and the women you hit on? It's not the end all, but it's not completely meaningless either.

Apart from that I'd say, try some social circles outside of clubs. All the girls I've met were through work, school, friends of friends. Getting a number in a club means a girl needs to make a trust-call that you're not a murderous rapist behind that smile on the basis of 30 minutes of drunken chat, let alone going home with you. Getting a number from a girl you've worked in the same office with and exchanged smiles with at the cafeteria a few times, means she doesn't need to make the same trust-call, you work at the same office, or you're friends with her friends, or you both take the same class, the trust-call is much lower. At that point if you're handsome in any sense (in shape and taking care of a haircut and basic clothes etc) and can make her laugh, you've basically got a number and an opportunity.

Clubs aren't the end all to getting laid. I've got plenty of girl friends who go out just to have a good time and not to get laid. I do, too, I have zero interest in hooking up but I still go out.

As for a girl trying to lock you down, bro you might as well commit to something if you're not even fucking while single for an entire year hahaha. Best of luck man

[–]mrHappyPotatoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In any time of that year did you even once enjoyed yourself for once?

[–]Mojiitoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe... you're trying too hard? You're pushing it too hard on yourself. Girls dont like it if youre too pushy/needy. Basically a vicious circle, kinda desperate -> 'hoping' you'll get laid tonight -> more desperate if you dont pull. If youd fuck once this whole weight on your shoulders will be gone and suddenly you'll fuck a girl each two weeks.

Soo try change your mindset. Start with a 5-6 and move your way up.

[–]PliskinRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem to be focused on the sole task of getting laid. You are probably coming across needy, in fact, you probably reek of it and they can smell it a mile off.

Work on yourself. Lift, make money, find hobbies, become interesting. When your SMV is high enough, the girls will find you.

[–]FearGarbhArMait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck a whore, regrip your bearings and go out immediately after. Escalate and pull as much push/pull game as possible, get numbers and k-close. Set up F-closes throughout the week, get over your rut.

[–]michaelsatin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start day gaming. See Tom Torero and Street Attraction on YouTube for example, read Day Bang.

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck a fatty to get your mojo back

[–]1rad_dynamic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try changing something up. Probably your mentality. Don't keep doing the same thing and expect new results.

Literally try everything. Don't give a fuck, ignore societal norms, see what works(and doesn't) and then calibrate. Read "How not to give a fuck" or whatever the post is called on the main sidebar.

Remember bro, rejection is a sign of action. Atleast you're doing something, some guys out there don't even get the chance to be rejected because they're too scared to make a move. Keep on going and calibrate till you find what works for you.

[–]Lambdal7 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

3 points that are the biggest preventers of having sex

  1. Do you try to be very alpha, dominant, cocky funny? This only works in very high energy environments and only if you can provide a lot of value by being funny, knowledgeable at the same time. In all other environments, you need to be able to build a strong connection with the girl instead and actually be interested in her. Be laid back while still being confident of course
  2. Do you resort to gimmicky game? This is called overgaming. Don't do it. Be real, be vulnerable, relatable. If you know a lot of game, it's actually better to undergame.
  3. Are you ripped as fuck? If not, no one will believe your alphaness. Get ripped first.
  4. Do you only do Push and no Pull? There needs to be a balance. With very hot girls, do 12% push, 8% pull, 80% be normal. With shy girls, do 4% push, 16% pull and 80% be normal.

These are the things done wrong most often by redpillers, because they only believe you need to be alpha and that's it.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The hell, just use dating apps and ask girls to come over.