I know that AWALT can get guys stuck in the depression stage. I accepted 2 years ago that AWALT and to just enjoy myself. Spinning plates was great motivation to push my limits and maximize my phsycial atteactiveness. I had great experiences.
But eventually I felt the emptiness. I honestly dont even want sex anymore. I do have a high sex drive. I just dont see the point in banging a whore anymore. All I see is risk. Risk of getting a disease. Risk of prdgnancy or claiming common law status with me to sue for money. Risk of false accusations from her if I break it off with her. I just dont see a positive reward-risk balance anymore.
I once talked to a natural alpha. 25, varsity captain of the baseball team at his university for the last 7 years. Doing his PhD in medicine. 6'5 and goddam handsome. He had a friends with benefits situation because he didnt want to get caught up in a relationship after his last breakup. The FWB had left town for good and he was expressing wanting a gf, but knowing it wasnt likely to meet a girl he actually liked and to just settle for a trophy wife in the future to have kids. I tried to push trp theory on him initially. He responded with "i know how to get laid. I just dont dont wanna bang randoms. Honestly, I'm really afraid of herpes so i dont care for casual hookups." He instead said he had his eye on this girl from work that he really liked and i cautioned him to not get his hopes up (and develope oneitous). She was very equivalent to him: 23, rowing varsity team, 5"10, phd student in Neuroscience, and you could tell by talking to her that she was a salt-of-the-earth sweet girl and not an annoying typical party slut. But he did develope oneitous on this girl and made his moves once every week or two when the whole buildimg gathered in the attrium for events like pizza day or charity events. A month later he was dating this girl despite developing oneitous. He was super selective with his tinder matches and matched every single girl he swiped right on. Despite this, he never met up with a single one that asked to go on a date with him. He knew what he wanted and got it.
I honestly respected him for his achievement. I realised in comparison, despite having plates myself, i was beta as fuck. This friend of mine had no insecurities that he needed to make up for by hooking up with randoms you wouldnt want to be caught dead with in public or heaven forbid your friends meet and have a conversation with them due to their shitty personalities. I get it. His SMV was miles higher than mine. But he wanted a unicorn, developed oneitous, and got her and they're happy.
When i practiced trp, all i felt was either anger or confidence from getting laid. I realised my reason for wanting to get laid was beta as shit: wanting to validate myself. You can't deny that many of the redditors commenting on trp are the same.
Trp taught me to disregard women as romantic interests through AWALT, and experience indeed did confirm AWALT. The thing is, i do want a unicorn. I hooked up with a few near-unicorns (super submissive and genuinely kind to me) but deep down i remembered "AWALT" and kept spinning despite them seeming like nice girls. I often let them down softly due to guilt that i couldnt trust a woman enough to commit to an LTR. I honeslty want to let go of the anger and feel affection. True affection. Not faked affections while secretly hating the girl im seeing for being a former carousel rider or for aome AWALT behaviour i expect them to display down the line eventually. i wanna actually LIKE the girl that im dating. Is that too much to hope for? i want to believe that there is a girl out there i will actually like. I honestly do want to believe in my unicorn. I get that they are rare. But ive seen so many happy couples without the usual relationship issues you read about on TRP, and honestly I'm jealous. Im talking bout about my peers (in their 20s, 30s) and older couples i respect who are above 60 years old and married for 25+ years. Raising children is a goal of mine down the line because it feels to me that creating a little empire of your own (a.k.a. a family) is something to be proud of.
I mean i wanna know how to achieve that. I think i can predict what the advice I'll get here is:
-
focus on yourself and raisimg your smv to enlarge your pool of women to choose from
-
AWALT still applies to these "unicorns" you say you think exist. They only seem like unicorns because they are happily/submissively dating men of much higher SMV than you, while you are scraping the bottom of the barrel of women due to your smv
-
consider taking a MGTOW break to focus on raising your smv and to stop needing the validation of women to live confidently.
Any other tips are welcome.
Summary:
I'm done with spinning plates. I dont see the benefit. Only risks. Family building is something i take pride in, but i can't figure out how to find a safe mate due to AWALT. Dread theory is not something i want to torment my future monther of my children with because honestly i dont want my kids to have a shitty childhood due to divorce. I want them to be strong and healthy and i believe the most critical first step is choosing a good mother for them. But ive lost faith in finding that person. I dont trust any women now due to AWALT, even if they are nice amd submissive. And those girls are super difficult to find in the first place.... I probably just need to dramatically improve my SMV to have a larger pool of women to improve the odds.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link