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I know that AWALT can get guys stuck in the depression stage. I accepted 2 years ago that AWALT and to just enjoy myself. Spinning plates was great motivation to push my limits and maximize my phsycial atteactiveness. I had great experiences.

But eventually I felt the emptiness. I honestly dont even want sex anymore. I do have a high sex drive. I just dont see the point in banging a whore anymore. All I see is risk. Risk of getting a disease. Risk of prdgnancy or claiming common law status with me to sue for money. Risk of false accusations from her if I break it off with her. I just dont see a positive reward-risk balance anymore.

I once talked to a natural alpha. 25, varsity captain of the baseball team at his university for the last 7 years. Doing his PhD in medicine. 6'5 and goddam handsome. He had a friends with benefits situation because he didnt want to get caught up in a relationship after his last breakup. The FWB had left town for good and he was expressing wanting a gf, but knowing it wasnt likely to meet a girl he actually liked and to just settle for a trophy wife in the future to have kids. I tried to push trp theory on him initially. He responded with "i know how to get laid. I just dont dont wanna bang randoms. Honestly, I'm really afraid of herpes so i dont care for casual hookups." He instead said he had his eye on this girl from work that he really liked and i cautioned him to not get his hopes up (and develope oneitous). She was very equivalent to him: 23, rowing varsity team, 5"10, phd student in Neuroscience, and you could tell by talking to her that she was a salt-of-the-earth sweet girl and not an annoying typical party slut. But he did develope oneitous on this girl and made his moves once every week or two when the whole buildimg gathered in the attrium for events like pizza day or charity events. A month later he was dating this girl despite developing oneitous. He was super selective with his tinder matches and matched every single girl he swiped right on. Despite this, he never met up with a single one that asked to go on a date with him. He knew what he wanted and got it.

I honestly respected him for his achievement. I realised in comparison, despite having plates myself, i was beta as fuck. This friend of mine had no insecurities that he needed to make up for by hooking up with randoms you wouldnt want to be caught dead with in public or heaven forbid your friends meet and have a conversation with them due to their shitty personalities. I get it. His SMV was miles higher than mine. But he wanted a unicorn, developed oneitous, and got her and they're happy.

When i practiced trp, all i felt was either anger or confidence from getting laid. I realised my reason for wanting to get laid was beta as shit: wanting to validate myself. You can't deny that many of the redditors commenting on trp are the same.

Trp taught me to disregard women as romantic interests through AWALT, and experience indeed did confirm AWALT. The thing is, i do want a unicorn. I hooked up with a few near-unicorns (super submissive and genuinely kind to me) but deep down i remembered "AWALT" and kept spinning despite them seeming like nice girls. I often let them down softly due to guilt that i couldnt trust a woman enough to commit to an LTR. I honeslty want to let go of the anger and feel affection. True affection. Not faked affections while secretly hating the girl im seeing for being a former carousel rider or for aome AWALT behaviour i expect them to display down the line eventually. i wanna actually LIKE the girl that im dating. Is that too much to hope for? i want to believe that there is a girl out there i will actually like. I honestly do want to believe in my unicorn. I get that they are rare. But ive seen so many happy couples without the usual relationship issues you read about on TRP, and honestly I'm jealous. Im talking bout about my peers (in their 20s, 30s) and older couples i respect who are above 60 years old and married for 25+ years. Raising children is a goal of mine down the line because it feels to me that creating a little empire of your own (a.k.a. a family) is something to be proud of.

I mean i wanna know how to achieve that. I think i can predict what the advice I'll get here is:

  • focus on yourself and raisimg your smv to enlarge your pool of women to choose from

  • AWALT still applies to these "unicorns" you say you think exist. They only seem like unicorns because they are happily/submissively dating men of much higher SMV than you, while you are scraping the bottom of the barrel of women due to your smv

  • consider taking a MGTOW break to focus on raising your smv and to stop needing the validation of women to live confidently.

Any other tips are welcome.

Summary:

I'm done with spinning plates. I dont see the benefit. Only risks. Family building is something i take pride in, but i can't figure out how to find a safe mate due to AWALT. Dread theory is not something i want to torment my future monther of my children with because honestly i dont want my kids to have a shitty childhood due to divorce. I want them to be strong and healthy and i believe the most critical first step is choosing a good mother for them. But ive lost faith in finding that person. I dont trust any women now due to AWALT, even if they are nice amd submissive. And those girls are super difficult to find in the first place.... I probably just need to dramatically improve my SMV to have a larger pool of women to improve the odds.


[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This!! God damn this hit home.

I feel like I fuck empty vessels. She is there but is little more than a self masterbation device. To tell you the true even if you or I found an unicorn we wouldn't know it. I treat them all the same and they drink my cum like all the others before them.

I have friends that have happy marriage with kids. They fuck hookers on the side while their wife is home drinking wine. I use to think look at these fucks how can they be happy if they're fucking hookers but they are happy because they have something more than sex.

[–]6482629 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pump and dump is not a TRP requirement, but most advice in this area is about it.

You want a relationship.

I would go lurk the Married Red Pill sub for advice on how to maintain a relationship. Those guys tend to give solid advice in that aspect.

[–]exit_sandman5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just throwing this in: it's not oneitous, it's oneitis - like meningitis or encephalitis.

The -itis ending is intentional.

[–]refusewool6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Inflammation of the one

[–]Sepean9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been married for 12 years. We have two kids. And let me tell you that all these guys telling you that women fuck you over, go fat, deny you sex, and then divorce rape you; they have no fucking clue what a marriage is like for an alpha.

My wife is fit, slim, hard working, submissive, sweet, loving and horny.

If you are an alpha, don't take advice from angsty betas. Betas have it bad whether they date or marry; alphas spin plates or have devoted, submissive, kinky wifes.

You just need the TRP/MRP playbook. I did have some shitty years in my marriage until I found the red pill, but damn is that over now.

[–]charredgravy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have this issue as well. But I recently had a spiritual awakening where I accepted God has a plan. Im going to start living for a higher purpose. Instead of focusing on fucking for the sake of fucking, I would like to meet a woman to raise a family with.

Ever since then I've become disgusted with the bar and hookup culture. Its just people using people for their own carnal pleasures. Its a shit show that leaves all parties used up and miserable. You wonder why you become depressed, you pump, dump and string people along to be used up whores. Just spinning your wheels.

We have inward animosity towards them but on the same token we create them.

So I've stopped almost all drinking and drugs. I go to work, eat, weight train and read books and prayers. My friends have disapeared because of this but I'm trying to build up something outside of partying.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

older couples i respect who are above 60 years old and married for 25+ years.

These are the women who were very post-wall when Marriage 2.0 (no-fault divorce) became commonplace. Not an option today.

But ive seen so many happy couples without the usual relationship issues you read about on TRP, and honestly I'm jealous.

It isn't as good as it looks. It's worse behind the scenes. And it is rarely good for long even when it is good.

I'm done with spinning plates. I dont see the benefit. Only risks

There are bigger risks with exclusive. The longer you're with a girl, the more she feels you owe her. And the more you do for her in that time, the worse these feelings get.

Dread theory is not something i want to torment my future monther of my children with because honestly i dont want my kids to have a shitty childhood due to divorce.

Dread game is how you KEEP a girl, not how you lose her. The fear of losing you motivates her to stay, not to leave.

Marrying a woman motivates her to leave ("here girl, have a big pile of cash and alimony if you leave me!"). Dread game motivates her to stay ("omg he's got better options! I need to work harder! I hope he always chooses me").

the most critical first step is choosing a good mother for them. But ive lost faith in finding that person.

I have no faith in this either. Even if they start off great.... the corrupting influence of Marriage 2.0, feminist writings, child support plus unending female hypergamy.... it's just not workable.

. I probably just need to dramatically improve my SMV to have a larger pool of women to improve the odds.

For me... I just can't see it. Spinning plates has been great for me. LTR's have sucked. My commitment has led directly to my unhappiness. Directly.

I don't have any good solutions, except full acceptance of the reality of the world, legal landscape, and women. With that in mind, what you gonna do? Personally I've given up any idea or hope of "the one". I don't yet know what the alternative looks like, but I see "settling down" as the worst possible option.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–]charredgravy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

While I agree with you. I've come to realize theres a significant difference between a woman going out every weekend and getting her pussy smashed by randoms and her being in a serious LTR that doesnt work out.

TRP is about reality and the reality is not every man can have the fairytale virgin bride.

[–]MrGoodStuff051 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Remember that a lot of these "happy" relationships you see only appear happy on the outside. In reality, most people in relationships and marriages are not happy, but they stay together for a variety of reasons (kids, comfort, think they can't to better, etc...). The few relationships that are actually happy is because the man is alpha and leads the relationship.

As far as your post, you just pretty much want a relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, if you want one then go get one. Just make sure to vet throughout for red flags. Take it from me, ignoring red flags will lead you to disappointment and hurt.

[–]Apexk91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God I'd love to find a ltr worthy girl.

30 years on this planet I found 1 and ducked up.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are learning to filter women quickly. This is good. Maybe you will find a good mom for your future kids but you'll have to weed through a lot of useless women first. That's okay.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

thanks...I've tried.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy Link

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[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just had a faggot tell me my comments are the reason people hate trP LOL

Yeah... doesn't mean we're wrong though :)

[–]PantsonFire12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Relationships always appear good on the outside, trust me- allot of them are miserable. Your example of that dude that got oneitis will eventually water down to. It just takes a while because this dudes SMV is off the charts and this girl will need a couple years to break his Alphaness. I can guarantee you that their relationship will dwindle in passion, sex and quality as the years go by.

Unicorns don't exist, it's just that some women make it bearable while allot of them are jaded BPD sluts who actually set out to destroy relationships with men.

Also I never got the idea of having women validate you. Sure it's nice when a girl is all over you. But devoting your entire life to fuck women for the sake of feeling better? What the hell.

Personally I stick to short term girls because I know I wont find a relationship. I'm not that kind of guy. Honing my skills with women is just one thing I do to get by. Like getting better at lifting weights or running 15 miles. You just do these things because you like doing them and you want to get better.

[–]DennisReynoldsAMA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You didn't understand trp correctly. It doesn't want you to be aware that all women are like that, not all women are sluts who want to fuck the next guy that pops up, but they all have the potential to be awalt. You could find a nice virgin girl and tame her desire to be awalt. With good frame you could stay married for 25 years and be happy, TRP is about being strong enough to control your ltr if that's what you want. You're gonna get constant shit tests no matter what especially if you're in an ltr but once you pass the tests and continue to build your frame you'd be good.

[–]jeezydasnowman-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you lift? You sound like a dadbod tired of fucking 4s and 5s.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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