It's a terrible habit of mine. And i fucking hate myself for it. But every time i get consistent, clean pussy, i just kind of relax and stop worrying about my appearance. I lift less, splurge more on the calories, and it almost always makes me feel like shit.
I have repeated this cycle 3 times in my life. I'd get in shape, get a clean attractive girl, reward myself with some victory food. But then slowly it turns into a habit and i get fatter, quit the gym, feel terrible, fall into a depression. And all of this is under the guise of:
"I'm just lowering my SMV to get rid of this gf with blue pill behaviour. I'm really just a wolf putting on sheeps clothing so her hypergamy will kick in and i dont have to deal with the backlash of dumping a girl"
I believe i do this because i have only (stupidly) LTR'd women i see no future with. I beleive that if i actually wanted an LTR with a woman i liked and could see spending more time with, i would fear losing her and continue to improve my SMV.
Key flag word i see in my language is fear.
I have only ever improved my SMV out of fear. Never out of personal pride or enjoyment. I feel like this is a key reason i keep repeating my shit cylcle of letting myself go after getting easy pussy.
I also think i place way too much value on getting laid. More importantly, if the girl I'm dating is hot, i feel that my SMV can mooch off her attractiveness, and i no longer have to work on my own.Every time I've LTR'd an attractive woman, people comment on how they're surprised im dating her.
Its dumb, i know. Its dumb because i place too much reliance on her staying with me to keep that pretend SMV. I should instead be thinking of myself as a single individual, who's SMV is not increased by attractive women being by my side.
It's an issue of mine i need to nip in the bud. I am going through my third cycle of getting my shit back together after a breakup and i never want to go back to that state of weakness again, even if i date a gorgeous model in the future. I never want to fall back again. I have only ever been at my best when I played the field, had lots of sex, and showed no sign of offering commitment. But i want to also have my shit together when i am in a relationship.
Any tips appreciated.
[–]David35207 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link