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It's a terrible habit of mine. And i fucking hate myself for it. But every time i get consistent, clean pussy, i just kind of relax and stop worrying about my appearance. I lift less, splurge more on the calories, and it almost always makes me feel like shit.

I have repeated this cycle 3 times in my life. I'd get in shape, get a clean attractive girl, reward myself with some victory food. But then slowly it turns into a habit and i get fatter, quit the gym, feel terrible, fall into a depression. And all of this is under the guise of:

"I'm just lowering my SMV to get rid of this gf with blue pill behaviour. I'm really just a wolf putting on sheeps clothing so her hypergamy will kick in and i dont have to deal with the backlash of dumping a girl"

I believe i do this because i have only (stupidly) LTR'd women i see no future with. I beleive that if i actually wanted an LTR with a woman i liked and could see spending more time with, i would fear losing her and continue to improve my SMV.

Key flag word i see in my language is fear.

I have only ever improved my SMV out of fear. Never out of personal pride or enjoyment. I feel like this is a key reason i keep repeating my shit cylcle of letting myself go after getting easy pussy.

I also think i place way too much value on getting laid. More importantly, if the girl I'm dating is hot, i feel that my SMV can mooch off her attractiveness, and i no longer have to work on my own.Every time I've LTR'd an attractive woman, people comment on how they're surprised im dating her.

Its dumb, i know. Its dumb because i place too much reliance on her staying with me to keep that pretend SMV. I should instead be thinking of myself as a single individual, who's SMV is not increased by attractive women being by my side.

It's an issue of mine i need to nip in the bud. I am going through my third cycle of getting my shit back together after a breakup and i never want to go back to that state of weakness again, even if i date a gorgeous model in the future. I never want to fall back again. I have only ever been at my best when I played the field, had lots of sex, and showed no sign of offering commitment. But i want to also have my shit together when i am in a relationship.

Any tips appreciated.


[–]David35207 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's a tip. Be the best you, always. Stop gaming and fix yourself. All you do is workout and preen until you are attractive to pull someone and then you coast. It's no wonder you are seeing these cycles. Be the best you, always. Don't let women take you away from gym time, from self development, etc. And don't let your own deep rooted laziness win a fourth time.

Stop the cycle. Dedicate yourself to yourself and square it away.

[–]PhoneticJustice 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It sounds like in terms of taking care of yourself, women are your top priority. That has to change.

Take care of yourself for a goal other than women.

[–]VaeVictor 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm living every word you wrote. Just finished my second breakdown cycle two months ago after 1 year LTR. You're right about everything, man. The fear, the splurging, that fucking depression that makes you just stay in the fetal position in bed watching cheap shit that eats away at your brain on your laptop. I've been there.

Oh. My personal twist on it all? Living on past glory, and getting this ridiculous fucking mental block about getting back into shape by rationalizing "I know my self worth. I've been there. What's to prove?" Happy to say I've broken that mentality for the first time (I'm 21) thanks to TRP. Most folks on here already said about living for yourself ,trying to find pride in the betterment itself, not as a way to get pussy. And that's fair, but in my experience ,not all guys can do that. I offer another solution: no more LTR. It's been a huge realization for me and my biggest step forward on this path. No more LTR will keep you frosty and on your toes.

I know relationships, man. I know how deep that connection can go and it feels fucking amazing. But it's bad, so bad for you right now. You're just not ready to handle it . Neither am I. Make that your goal if motivation is what you're lacking. Have it replace fear. I don't agree with the standard TRP narrative that's pushed around here about perpetually spinning plates. There's shit you'll only ever experience in an LTR. Fight for that.

[–]JackGetsIt 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is an honest post; I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted, and I think you answered you own questions.

I have only (stupidly) LTR'd women i see no future with

I have only ever improved my SMV out of fear

I also think i place way too much value on getting laid

I have only ever been at my best when I played the field, had lots of sex, and showed no sign of offering commitment

You're basically spot on. If you choose to have another LTR always keep gaming her and always know that she's only your's at the moment (even if she's super into you). LTR's and Marriages are redpill on hard mode and you're not the only guy on redpill who's gotten too comfortable in an LTR. If you look at my post history I have a guide on the female break up steps. It might help.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

how old are you? I think this behavior will work itself out as you mature. You also have to prioritize yourself at all times. EVEN in a relationship. if you are unhappy it translates to everything else.

[–]Downhere_Seeds 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read "No More Mr Nice Guy" and read the section on "clean breakups" several times.

[–]Silthir 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Apart from not starting a LTR with women you see jo future with (as you out it), the best I can tell you is to not care for your body in order to get a great girl to like you, but because you want it yourself, and to feel great in your body.

To me, this is the core principle of TRP, to be content with yourself, which ultimately leads to confidence, and women pursuing you. The main reason for me to lift is not to impress anyone, but because I enjoy the struggle, and the feeling you get looking into a mirror. Working out, eating clean and caring for my body isn't work, it's my usual habits that I developed because I wanted to, for myself. Women are part of the reason, but most definitely not the main one.

[–]ImPhilsredditAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It sounds as though you are just getting into shape for women, when in fact you should be getting into shape for YOU.

[–]AnAbsoluteSith 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

A Zen Buddhist quote I've been trying to live by recently:

"Before Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." 

Even after you put in the work required to achieve a certain goal, the same work is required to maintain it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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