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Red Pill TheoryWhy women love assholes (an alternate view) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by trpMilo

I've been developing a theory that I think might add a bit to TRP thinking on this topic.

Men are sexually attracted to traits in women that are fully observable when they first meet (i.e. physical beauty).

Women are sexually attracted to traits in men that are only partially observable when they first meet (i.e. social status, confidence).

What does this mean for dating? Well imagine a world in which the traits men find attractive in women are partially unobservable. Specifically, let's pretend women walk around in full burqas on the streets and in public, but otherwise act just like Western women. You can see if a woman is overweight or not, but otherwise you can't tell if she's hot. After a few dates though, you get to see what's underneath. These women are relatively experienced, they've dated men before and shown them what is underneath their burqas, and thus these women know their own sexual market value.

Now, you approach a woman on the streets who looks decently in-shape and you think might be attractive. She is very receptive to your approach. She's kind and sweet and seems excited to go on a date with you. What do you think to yourself? "Shit, this girl is probably ugly."

You approach another girl. When she sees you, she is cold and standoffish. What do you think to yourself? "Awesome, this girl is probably so hot. I better try harder."

This is the world women live in. When they meet you, they can't really tell how attractive you are. So they rely on your behavior to tell them. The less interested in them you are, the more options they think you have, and the more attractive they think you must be. So when you treat them like dirt, they think you must be god's gift to women.

It's only later that they find out whether or not you really have those qualities they are looking for. This is your "burqa" coming off. If you want to keep a girl after that point you better be as alpha as your behavior implies, but before that point they only have your behavior to go on.


[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (9 children)

It's because of the penis power, take it straight from the horse's mouth.

[–]iwantt 21 points22 points  (0 children)

this is a legit RPW

[–]dragoness_leclerq 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I honestly cannot thank you enough for posting this.

[–]TheCasualHistorian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is and will remain the best thing I've seen all day. It's absolutely the honest to god truth and I've lived it.

[–]fiat_lux_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Alexyss is a fucking riot. Favourited.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]BumSkeeter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pee nuss

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She's too good to be on that show. She should be a major celebrity.

[–]in_da_tr33z 236 points237 points  (2 children)

Solid line of thinking there. Great way to illustrate it.

[–]robesta 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Agreed! Nice work!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yep, nicely explained.

[–]1deptii 94 points95 points  (6 children)

It's abundance theory played out. When you fail to put them on the same pedestal that every other guy puts them on, it's starts the hamster in her head (one of the few that works for you though). They think that you MUST have other high value women in your life, otherwise why would you not be treating her like the princess she thinks she is? Couple this with the simple denial of validation and she wants to prove herself to you as well.

There are many good ways to express this, but being an asshole is one of the easiest, and most effective.

[–]Abadoobie 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Yep. Upon meeting, we naturally rate ourselves relative to those around us. We mentally divide up into peer groups. So when she meets you, she rates herself relative to you. If you don't behave in the way she expects someone of your status should, either one of two things are true: Her assessment of you was wrong or her assessment of herself is wrong.

If she correctly judged your status(by observing that those in that peer group accept you as an equal) but you rejected her from that peer group, it's a sign that her status is being challenged. She will either try to provoke you into accepting her status in that peer group and thus re-confirm her value or she will try to put you in a lower peer group so she can ignore your rejection. A rare third option is that she accepts the reduction in value and lowers her own peer group status. This is the entire basis for every female centric movie, book, tv show or other work of fiction. It ALL revolves around social status and group hierarchy. Every high-school girl bulling story, every social exclusion tale. They all revolve around the dynamics of social status and peer groups.

Assholes do whatever the fuck they want and don't answer to social hierarchy. They almost always have an inflated sense of self-worth that is very difficult to change. This often mimics the same behavior as those at the very top. They ignores the opinions of others, act like they're better than almost everyone else and believe themselves to be special. They are selfish and motivated and often break the rules normal people adhere to. This person accepting her as a mate sends a signal that she is of his peer group, which is almost always higher than the one she starts in. So long as she sees him as higher than her, she'll stick with him because otherwise she'll never get acceptance into that peer group. And she's willing to put up with, rationalize or straight up ignore unpleasant qualities he has, up to a point obviously.

[–]1independentmale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is brilliant. Thank you for the outstanding insight. You've given me a fresh, new perspective.

[–]Texas_Rangers 0 points1 point  (1 child)

tagged bro

[–]Abadoobie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

?

[–]ADDvanced -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ha. I'm totally an asshole.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hamster in your head is a pretty accurate description

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 116 points117 points  (11 children)

Let's set this straight. A woman's definition of slut is equivalent to the man's definition of asshole. She wouldn't date a real asshole. She's dating what other men (ie. betas) consider an asshole. The guy isn't an asshole. The guy is a guy who is true to his sexual nature.

Most guys love sluts. If we'd commit to them is another story. However, many women feed the idea to us that we don't want sluts. But their definition of slut is something that is appealing to us. Girls that dress provocatively. Girls that carry themselves a certain way. We don't like really slutty girls, we just like the idea of a slut.

[–][deleted] 43 points43 points

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[–]The_Floating_Dick 13 points14 points  (2 children)

If they're an actual slut, guys worthy of being called men want nothing to do with them.

"Worthy of being called men"? You use the same vocabulary as slut-shaming women. I agree with all your other points, but how am I not "worthy of being called a man" if I want to pump-and-dump some hot slutty 10?

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]The_Floating_Dick 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Because ultimately you're still being manipulated by a woman.

How come? I'd want to fuck her regardless of her intentions and manipulations.

she's using her looks to make you dance like a dog for her.

what?

lack of self confidence in allowing yourself to be so easily trapped by a woman that she only has to use her physical attributes and he has control of you and misleading yourself into thinking you're manly because of it.

I'm not getting trapped by her just because I fucked her. Also, I want to fuck her not to feel more manly, but because my dick tells me to. That guy is one hell of manipulator!

[–]carrotplanter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

An asshole to everyone else, except to them

[–]scamper_22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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