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GF decides to spend time with her friend than me (self.askTRP)

submitted by eyemanuguy

So my gf of 4 years just returned from 5 weeks away. I live in the capital and met her on Thursday night, we went for dinner had a few drinks etc.

The plan was to go to my home city( 2hours train away) for the weekend. We traveled down and my dad was there to pick us up from the train station

Turns out she had planned to meet her college friends who still live in my home town. So just went off into town drinking with them for the night,same on Saturday night and I didn't see her all weekend and she didn't bother visiting my parents to even say hi.

Shes sent a few snapchats of them out, and singing drunk, all that shit. Am I overreacting by just cutting off all communication? This has pissed me off greatly and I see it as an insult to my parents especially

Update

Well that didnt take long. Currently travelling home for work, ignored 3 whats app messages from her earlier and now the snaps are coming in.

Gonna hit the gym and destroy legs, get the test flowing.


[–]1walawalawa 107 points108 points  (2 children)

So my gf of 4 years just returned from 5 weeks away.

5 weeks away... uh oh

Turns out she had planned to meet her college friends who still live in my home town.

She's clearly stopped giving a shit and didn't bother to tell you she had plans. You assumed she was coming to hang with you.

Am I overreacting by just cutting off all communication?

This is worthy of a soft-next

This has pissed me off greatly and I see it as an insult to my parents especially

Whoever needs the relationship more holds the least power.

When I was recently in a similar situation I blew up...constantly.

It only fed the drama the girl I was banging was looking for.

When I finally cut her off...she flipped out. But I've held firm.

Sounds like you're over-invested in this relationship and she's pulling back.

Pull back. Start focusing on other things. Start gaming other girls. Get ready for an exit plan.

[–]TheDreadnought1 32 points33 points  (0 children)

This.

That girl showed in just a weekend a big amount of lack of interest, lack of respect and lack of dignity to not even say to you prior to that that she was planning to see her friends, or even invite you to join in (you're her boyfriend for 4 years for christ's sake).

And I'll not even mention the 5 weeks away, considering she isn't already that much interested in you, OP...

Follow this advice, soft-next, pull back from the relationship, and start making an escape plan, you might need it soon.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right.

[–]BestSC86 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Frankly, it is over.....

She either doesn't give a shit at all or she knows that she has you so wrapped around her pussy that she can do whatever she wants or likely both of these. Neither point to this being good for any type of real relationship.

I mean open your eyes....sure it has been 4 years but she has been away from you for 5 weeks, she should be absolutely dying to see you and show you how much she missed you...instead she fucking blew you off for the entire weekend to go see her drinking buddies.

I mean she didn't just go catch up, she spent the entire weekend drinking and partying with them...leaving you sitting home with your dick in your hand....

That you see it as some sort of insult to your parents or something....screams to me that you are a wuss and she constantly disrespects you with out you standing up for yourself and you are a doormat. Also, she doesn't give a shit about how it impacts YOU why in hell would she care about your parents? I bet you see this trot as miss wifey who you are showing off to your parents while really she is just a girl who loves partying but keeps you around to do the BF stuff as a very last resort.

Are any of these friends guys? I am willing to bet if she drinks and parties this much that she is banging other dudes all the time and you are a cuck as well.

Dump this chick now.

[–]MrRoxo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

sure it has been 4 years but she has been away from you for 5 weeks, she should be absolutely dying to see you and show you how much she missed you

This.

If this doesn't happen it's a bad sign. Screw the other "signs". If a girl doesn't miss you even after 2 weeks it's probably done let alone 5

[–]APSTNDPhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dudes a major cuck.. it's painful to read.

[–]eyemanuguy 1 points1 points [recovered]

Thanks for all the replies.

Yeah, Im going to next her. All communications are down.

[–]slurmfactory 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Strong move dude. Shell come crawling back but keep her at arms length. She showed her true intentions so time to use this as motivation to invest in yourself and go kick ass. Party with your bros and work your ass off. When, not if, she comes back and makes up a billion excuses just keep your head straight and remember how she prioritized everything above you after five fuckin weeks. She's got one foot out the door so let her. After four years, she is most likely ready to sew her wild oats and do the party girl thing for a while. Again, let her, don't even take it personally. 💪🏻💪🏻

[–]CC_ee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dont next, end it.

[–]MrRoxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep strong and go your way. Don't go back on your word dude!

[–]TheDreadnought1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good call.

Be strong, after 4 years it won't be easy to resist to her crying, begging for you to take her back. It also won't be easy hearing about the threesomes she made in her "crazy phase" after the end. But that cliche about "the darkest hour is right before dawn" is indeed truthful for most situations. You can do it, and it'll be better for you in the long run.

And go lift, lift the hell out of your gym until your body totally wants to wreck you. It can do wonders

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 52 points53 points  (0 children)

So 5 weeks away she comes back and not only (a) isn't all over you but (b) uses your dad as a ride home from the station and then goes on a "Whores Night Out" without even discussing it?

Dump.That.Bitch.

[–]L0neWolfAlpha 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Bro, next her. She is already riding some other guys cock and put you as back up.

[–]eyemanuguy 1 points1 points [recovered]

Well that didnt take long. Currently travelling home for work, ignored 3 whats app messages from her earlier and now the snaps are coming in.

Gonna hit the gym and destroy legs, get the test flowing.

[–]TheDreadnought1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh fucking yeah, never skip leg day my bro.

Good luck and keep strong, mentally and physically

[–]StbRPG 16 points17 points  (5 children)

AWALT. Contemplate she's already sucking another dick and you are the back up plan. She no longer cares about you and your frame isn't being perceived as that of a man she'd respect. Start focusing on your frame and abundance mentality up. Don't show it's affecting, that's suicide.

Kill the emotional investment build up although it's going to be hard. Never trust a woman you dating these days, they are simply incapable of love other than for themselves and their children (and even that is a perhaps) - society has given them the power to do as they please. Now, with that in mind, women are good only for two things for a man: sex and small emotional support.

Unplug.

[–]MrRoxo 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I don't agree with the AWALT.

When a woman is interested in you she wont go to parties after 5 weeks without seeing you. This only indicates she doesn't respect him and doesnt give two shits about him.

Also OP hasn't been doing his RP right.

[–]StbRPG 4 points5 points  (0 children)

AWALT = well founded theory/rule of thumb, it is not a fact.

[–]JeffreyDoe 1 points1 points [recovered]

just because a woman shows she is interested in you, at that particular time, doesnt mean she wont AWALT later. Your "logic" is flawed.

[–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You stopped reading too quick...

Why do all guys miss the the next few lines of the AWALT post? Is it the bitterness and anger or are just the usual lack of reading comprehension.

It has been stated a million times that yes, All Women Are Like That but not all women act on said characteristic exactly the same. And some don't act on this at all.

Why in hell do the bitter dudes keep forgetting this aspect of this? That must be one of the A-TRPER-ALT traits.

[–]doctorlw 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is unbelievable disrespect and you are right to be upset. Personally, if my gf did something like this which involved my parents I would insta dump her without even giving her an explanation as to why. So yes, you answered your own question. Cut off all contact. If she asks why after a few days, and she will eventually, I do believe you should be honest and tell her... but I would make clear it's too late for her to fix it.

[–]Modbsutansalt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Women who are in a relationship and behave as if they're not are demonstrating through their actions they are NOT relationship material. Learn your lesson, PIITB one last time, then next her or downgrade her to fuck buddy.

[–]mrexperimenter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Next her. She clearly has no respect for you and you don't want to invest your time on a girl like her. She doesn't deserve you.

[–]throwitdownman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get out before you end up in dead bedrooms.

[–]jetpuffedpanda 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If I just spent 5 weeks away from my SO, I'd by absolutely dying to see him. I'd tell my friends to wait and maybe we could see them on the Sunday or something. There would be no way I'd willingly separate from him for the weekend. Either he came to visit the friends too or I wouldn't go.

[–]Peter_B_Long 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hard next dude for sure. You're definitely her beta bux

[–]Pork_Sword3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Commenting so I can follow this, interested in what experts have to say.

[–]TRP321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remove your commitment & drop her to plate status or hard next.

[–]Wokiip 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Next her. She DID disrespect your parents.

[–]BullshittingNonsense 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah someone else said saying this made him a wuss, but what a cunt move taking a ride home from the dad. This whole thing is just awful. I'm sorry for you OP. 4 years and this is what you get? You're already dealing with it better than I have in similar situations.

[–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wasn't saying that made him a wuss...I said that the fact that he had to coach her actions as disrespectful to his parents instead of himself tells me that he is a doormat that is too afraid to say the obvious....

The girl was disrespectful to the Op.....he was being too wussy to even admit out loud to the reddit or even himself that very real fact.

[–]BullshittingNonsense 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, sometimes it's hard to admit that but OP's getting there

[–]addwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would hard next / ghost. This relationship is well beyond its expiry.

[–]DadOnDabs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol she's fucking someone else already. Next.

[–]sd4c 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women always follow the lead of the most powerful, attractive man they have a chance with.

The fact that they VERY often confuse a guy's eagerness to fuck her, with his willingness to commit/provide for her- had nothing to do with it. Wherever she's devoting her energies, is where she thinks the cock is at.

She's either cheating, entertaining the thought of it, or is actively trying to get/keep the attention of her true target. Most women will try to keep your arrow in their quiver, in case they miss their shot at the ace. ONLY at the point when she thinks it will bother the ace, will she cut things off with you. Usually this is after a couple weeks of fucking (FWB becomes exclusive).

The good news is, he's in for a real nice surprise. The hotter she is, the more likely HE is, to fall for her charm spell, and let her fag HIM up, over then next four years. And fag you up she did, because this case was so cut-and-dry that you shouldn't even be ASKING what to do is this situation. Unfortunately she doesn't feel the same way about you.

I suggest focusing ONLY on improving your own SMV. Go monk-mode and spend as much time as possible, fraternizing with other men. Bang sluts if you really need to, but frankly you don't really "need" sex, whacking it very few days for a few months won't kill you and will save you a lot of time chasing annoying pink mind control tubes.

[–]anusbleach11111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gonna hit the gym and destroy legs, get that test flowing

My man. If only more people realized how crucial training legs is to maximizing test.

Also I have no input on the rest of you're post but who gives a shit you're a guy who trains his legs asking for advice about a basic bitch who likes to get drunk and post on social media. She doesn't deserve you, and you can do better. Fellas need to stop giving their time to these corny lames.

[–]FlyingSexistPig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has already moved on. It's time for you to do so as well.

[–]Gawernator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Complete lack of respect on her part. And also showing very negative signs of any attraction for you. Strong soft next required here

[–]AlphaGrad -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Next"