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How would you respond to an ex who comes back crawling? (self.askTRP)

submitted by Sol4ace

So when I was 18 years old, this girl who was also 18 years old at the time broke up with me to be with another man. At the time I was insecure, kinda fat and unhealthy in general. She was way out of my league.

2 weeks after the break-up, she got into a relationship with another man and that's when I really unplugged. I was devastated and she had already found someone else while I was sitting alone in my room jacking off all day.

Fast forward last night, she calls me out of the blue.

I'm now 21 years old. I am now way healthier than I was. Dropped 50 pounds, gained a lot of muscle mass (I started lifting when I was 17 but I wasn't getting much results while I was with her because I had a shitty diet, which I fixed since then), new haircut, successful studies so far. I'm doing really great. Can't say the same for her, she gained a lot of weight, she's failing hard in her degree and she's emotionally unstable from what I can tell.

So she calls me, crying obviously, saying she's so lost and she doesn't know what to do. That she's failing in most of her classes and that all her friends abandonned her.

At this very moment I immediatly told myself : she can go fuck herself. She cheated on me in the past and now she's coming back because everything in her life is going to shit. I also felt really great, seeing that she's getting what she deserves.

So I talked with her for about 5 minutes, basically saying there's nothing I can do for her and that she should seek help. She was stunned, because I used to be a nice and supportive guy.

Now she's constantly texting me.

How would you guys handle this?


[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 94 points95 points  (4 children)

Well handled. Now just block her everywhere without further notice.

[–]RPBulletDodger 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Absolutely this.

3 years later, now you are out of her league OP. Act accordingly.

[–]babybopp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Another thing OP can't see, she did not start dating the guy 2 weeks after breaking up with you, she was already fucking him while with you. When she felt safe to let go of you as a branch, she swung over to him.

Now she has been on that 4 year cock carousel and is already looking for a little beta provider.

You go back to her and it will be the worst thing you have ever done to yourself.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“At this very moment I immediately told myself : she can go fuck herself. She cheated on me in the past”

OP is very aware that she was already in another guy’s pants before they broke up.

Improve your reading skills.

[–]1RedPillFusion 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No better way to put it. Dead drop ghost mode. That shit is a toxic spiral, and she wants company on the way down. Let some white knight schmuck be that guy.

[–]1Pink1Stink 47 points48 points  (0 children)

You did fine. Now ignore her.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Ignore her - although you've made massive improvement in major areas of your life she is a mess. Also - she thinks you're the same guy emotionally you were a few years back. You're not. You did the work and got better. She left for "greener pastures" and became a sloppy mess.

Besides - I count 4 x major issues:

  • emotional instability; disloyalty/infidelity; academic failure; weight gain

You don't need the aggravation. She'll just pull you into her quagmire of self-destruction, undo all your hard work, and leave you for her next victim. That's how a succubus survives...

[–]nofilmynofucky 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm 35, this will happen more and more as you get older. My earnest advice is to simply not engage, while it did wonders for my ego the first couple of times it happened, interacting with these women never brought any value into my life, quite the opposite actually as it was a waste of my time.

Sounds like you're doing great tho, just keep on keeping on man

[–]LordThunderbolt 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You did very good. Now delete her number and text thread and ghost her for the rest of your life.

[–]Occams_Stubble 11 points12 points  (0 children)

1) "she cheated on me" 2) "she gained a lot of weight" 3) "she's failing hard in her degree" 4) "she's emotionally unstable" 5) "her friends abandoned her"

Avoid at all costs

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

From Rollo Tomassi's blog:

"Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was."

[–]TheBiss 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Once a cheater... well... you KNOW the rest.

[–]trpcounsel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ignore.

[–]128bitworm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You spoke to her.

Even if just to tell her to go to hell, you gave her the idea that you might be open to communication and therefore somewhere down the line she might change your mind.

At this point, as mentioned by others here, block her out of every means of communication she might employ to get to you.

Nuff sed.

[–]Mudpielol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Block her.

[–]chim_city 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well all know you don't want her and you are better than her.

But what's really in your head is if this is going to be an easy lay or not? otherwise this isn't a question at all.

  • Yes, a really easy, possibly amazing lay.

  • Not worth it.

Do what everyone says and return to radio silence.

[–]GreenPiller 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Do a 360 and walk away

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (3 children)

You mean 180? A 360 means you are facing the same direction.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Push her down on the way out.

[–]Wardenclyffe56 10 points11 points  (0 children)

While doing a moonwalk obviously.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LOL

[–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Handled it pretty well. Now ignore her.

The best thing would have been to not pick up to begin with either because it's an unknown number, you did delete it back then did you? If not because you saw who is calling and no reason why you should pick up.

[–]SelfUnmadeMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

kick her in the teeth

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So she calls me, crying obviously, saying she's so lost and she doesn't know what to do. That she's failing in most of her classes and that all her friends abandonned her.

"Please rescue me after I fucked Chad and my life!"

How would you guys handle this?

"We should go out for a date. See if there's the same spark there. Where are you going to take me?". Say no to her shitty first offer. Accept the second. Be cold and distant throughout, leave early for no reason. When she texts say "um. not sure how to say this". Then say nothing more and ghost.

[–]XT3M3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

going thru this now myself,

  • don't hit her up under any circumstances for ANY reason

  • she missed out on you and is now seeing this and she's hoping you're the same person she dated.

  • if you want sex or something let her bring it up if she's still unblocked. it will be easy as hell to achieve.

  • next her when you're satisfied.

only a fool allows themself to be hurt twice

[–]iteal -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Jump, pump, dump.