Did my wife cheat on me? If so where to go from here

creating_my_life · 2018-01-02T07:23:35+00:00

Her old flame sent dick pics and apparently they met?

Even if they didn't fuck I'd be done.

She never mentioned it before.

gee, wonder why?

she says she gave back an old vaccuum cleaner her forgot with her when they lived together,

because clearly a semi-pro basketball player can't afford a new vacuum.

then cried so much

you mean "negotiated" so much. with tears.

and told me I'm paranoid and not being a good husband.

Gaslighting and Projecting.

1Pink1Stink · 2018-01-02T08:41:04+00:00

She cried dude. She did it 100%

Why would she cry?

LordThunderbolt · 2018-01-02T07:58:24+00:00

She gave him a vacuum alright. Idiot. She gave him an A1 suck job with her mouth. That's the vacuum she's referring to.

Cut your losses. Do NOT forgive this whore. There is no alternative but a divorce

esco_ · 2018-01-02T07:00:21+00:00

haven't been on this sub in ages (saw this scrolling through reddit)

If there was nothing fishy going on, then surely she would tell you she was going to drop the vacuum off? How did she explain the dick pick?

change 70% to 99% dude. In my humble opinion, i would be rethinking whether i wanted to be in a marriage with someone who cheats on me (there is an obvious answer to this).

Sorry to hear about the situation. Please dont delude yourself here, it really sounds like she is lieing

Throwawaysteve123456 · 2018-01-02T07:13:34+00:00

I confront her and she says she gave back an old vaccuum cleaner her forgot with her when they lived together, then cried so much and told me I'm paranoid and not being a good husband.

Sorry to say it man, but if I had to make a wager, i'd say she was cheating. I won't say "she's cheating for sure" like most guys on this site, as we don't know. But looking objectively, it's pretty damn clear. She cried not because she thinks you're a bad husband, but because of the intense emotions she experienced when you discovered her infidelity. Her entire world is about to come crashing down. it's emotional. The biggest red flag for lying is emotional reaction. If a girl gets angry, defensive, or cries, she is much more likely to be cheating, then a girl who calmly denies it, or laughs it off. I would raise your 70 to 90%. If we add, "about to cheat" it goes up to 99.99%.

Course of action: break up obviously. Collect any evidence you have and get a lawyer.

LiftOrGTF0 · 2018-01-02T07:40:04+00:00

She says I'm a better ~~partner~~ provider

He's the AF, you're the BB. Have some self respect and leave her. Now that you pretty much have evidence you should know what to do. She showed interest by not deleting his pics and agreed to meet him. Your gut feeling doesn't lie. There's plenty of fish in the sea, so do the right thing and finish it before it gets worse for you.

This is why you don't marry alpha widows, btw.

illmatic708 · 2018-01-02T08:26:14+00:00

Get your ducks in a row. Trickle truth is coming and you should be prepared to cut it off. She 100% cheated.

MattyAnon · 2018-01-02T10:09:01+00:00

I confront her and she says she gave back an old vaccuum cleaner her forgot with her when they lived together

This does not align with the receipt of dick picks. It sounds like an excuse she had lined up and ready.

then cried so much and told me I'm paranoid and not being a good husband.

Responsibility and blame pushed onto you.

I'm 70% suee shre cheated. Next course of action?

She met up with an ex, to hand back a "vacuum cleaner"?

Ask details of the vacuum cleaner. Make? Model? Size? Colour? Type? When did they meet? How long for? Why didn't she mention it?

Keep gently probing. If she's being straight she'll answer with simple honest answers. If she deflects and insults you,calls you paranoid, blames you, refuses to answer - then she's lying.

You shouldn't be 70% sure she cheated. You should be 99% sure she cheated.

Where to go from here? Depends if you have kids. No kids? Get the fuck out now. Divorce. If your wife cheated she no longer respects you. She's acting differently. Things only get worse from here on out.

And next time don't get married.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-01-02T16:33:48+00:00

Short answer: Yes.

"When there is doubt, there is no doubt."

-From, The Sayings of Chairman Zaitzev

Long Answer:

Anyway she hasn't been acting differently and all was well when I took her phone to call my mother and she jumped to call her herself. Later I find she has a passcode on her phone. One day I look without her knowing and catch the passcode pattern, and I log in.

LOL. Does anything say "I'M GUILTY AS FUCK!" more than this?

Her old flame sent dick pics and apparently they met?

His penis met her vagina in a hotel room.

She never mentioned it before.

Duh. That's because she's a lyin' ass bitch.

I confront her and she says she gave back an old vaccuum cleaner her forgot with her when they lived together

Something got sucked, but not with some vacuum cleaner.

So, how long ago did they live together? Was it really imperative to retrieve a vacuum cleaner from 5 years ago (or whatever)? Is there and unexplained vacuum cleaner around the house that you've never seen before?

then cried so much and told me I'm paranoid and not being a good husband.

Whore wife cheats, gaslights husband, blames him.

It's gotta be somebody's fault and it can't be hers, so.....

I'm ~~70%~~ one million percent sure she cheated.

FTFY

Next course of action?

Secure any valuable that you don't want torched if she got nuts. Photos, shit like that.

If you share a computer, install a keylogger.

Start accruing cash somewhere that she doesn't know about. Don't tell anyone.

Institute the "Dread" Protocol.

Get ready to get divorced. Do NOT get her fucking pregnant.

mrbfs · 2018-01-02T07:27:29+00:00

Check the frequency of the calls and texts to that number via the phone bill that should tell you if this was a one off or if something is going on over time.

CynicalBluestocking · 2018-01-02T11:07:59+00:00

Red flag. She freaked out when you touched her phone even tho she has a passcode. Whatever happened. She feels guilty about it. There was a line crossed and she knows it.

trancedj · 2018-01-02T11:50:00+00:00

You already know the answer. Keep your exit strategy top secret. Expect more tears and fits. Be stoic. When the time comes move on. Good luck and be safe.

[deleted] · 2018-01-02T13:09:58+00:00

She got dick picks and then met? Women are not retarded. She's not gonna meet up with a guy sending dick picks unless she's trying to get dick.

There's a 99% probability she cheated, and if she didn't it's because circumstances got in the way. She wanted to.

Get out.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-01-02T15:12:39+00:00

You know that vacuum cleaner was a metaphor for her sucking dry clean his pipe?

They probably laugh at that joke right now.

Lol.

bluepillcarl · 2018-01-02T09:06:28+00:00

Pass code on the phone is enough. Sorry man.

jay_jay_man · 2018-01-02T13:48:41+00:00

Her old flame sent dick pics and apparently they met?

your wife thought it was ok to receive and store an ex dick pics on her phone while married
your wife thought it was ok to meet with him alone
your wife thought it was ok to meet with a man who sent her dick pics and not tell you about it

Regardless of whether or not she cheated on you (99% certain that she did), she is the one that's not being a good wife. She is not wife material. This behavior is suitable only if she was a plate. She wouldn't even be girlfriend material much less a wife.

AdvocateKillerman · 2018-01-02T15:30:01+00:00

Man, a lot of the comments on here are harsh - sadistic even - but essentially they’re all true. She 100% cheated. You’ll hamster and look for reasons to believe she didn’t, but she did and you need to accept that. If she was innocent she would’ve told you when they guy sent the dick pics but she hid it and you know why. Also she admitted to meeting him and again you know why. Good luck man, but if you sincerely came here for answers, you have them.

ishyman · 2018-01-02T13:57:44+00:00

She’s your wife, so I assume she lives with you. Have you ever seen the vacuum? She woulda told you her ex lover wanted the vacuum back. The dick pictures? Why are they still on her phone? She woulda deleted them if she was faithful. But she kept them. The tears are guilt tears. She is crying because she knows what’s going on. She was caught. Sorry man, all the evidence points that she did see him.

AfterC · 2018-01-02T13:22:41+00:00

Ah, sorry buddy but this one is pretty obvious.

It's done. It'll hurt, but she cheated.

equipmentpool · 2018-01-02T11:20:03+00:00

I wouldn’t even touch her after that. Sickening.

ImQuitingPorn · 2018-01-02T11:55:08+00:00

LEAVE. FAST.

Kommanderdude · 2018-01-02T12:24:17+00:00

Act like everything is ok. Get a lawyer secretly and surprise her with a divorce to minimize the amount of divorce rape you’ll experience.

She been on this dudes dick op. Get out now.

Steve_Chiv · 2018-01-02T14:43:24+00:00

Who cares if she cheated or not. She got a dick pic from an ex and then ran out the door to see him. Is that the kind of woman you want in your life? Of fucking course not

flatox · 2018-01-02T14:59:20+00:00

She definitely just gave him a vacuum cleaner, you're obviously a shitty husband for thinking dickpicks and secret meetups is wrong.

cellphon · 2018-01-02T11:53:13+00:00

Do you really want to be married to a woman that the moment she gets some dick pick she's on her way to some dirty hotel room to have some porn-grade sex ?

This is how much she values you.

Take my advice: get on her phone and make screenshots of the dick pick and check for latest conversations. And don't let her see that you're planning your escape.

You made a mistake by showing her all of your cards, you should have made screenshots and hired a divorce attorney.

She obviously cheated on you.

Also update us OP, this is interesting.

juliusstreicher · 2018-01-02T14:46:05+00:00

OP, how long have you been married?

Tip: If all she got were dick pics, how come she didn't get details or request for a meetup about vacuum cleaner? Does dick pic="Bring my vacuum cleaner"? Apparently, if nothing else, a dick pic from him means for her to get on the phone to him. Kind of like the Bat Signal.

Herdsengineers · 2018-01-02T15:29:24+00:00

she cheated. don't even ask or argue with her about it anymore. just interact with her just like she admitted it, and pay no attention to anymore denials, blame shifting, or guilting she pulls trying to manipulate you.

don't question her about it anymore either - do not try to get her to admit it. just act like she has already even if she hasn't.

next course of action is up to you. what do you want in life? how much do you have invested in this marriage? time in? kids? financially? joint property? how much more do you want to invest in it after this?

for now, go no/low contact with her. no sex, no dates, communicate only for minimal logistics needed when living with someone, and respect yourself first. take care of you - gym, do well at work, eat well, and get good sleep.

beyond that, get some good social time in with friends and family, separate from your wife. and stop checking on her phone, email, etc.

the best thing you can do establish the space and distance between you and her. DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOME - legally that's abandonment of the property and really hurts you in the divorce, but if there's a spare room, move her shit into it.

and above all else, don't be weepy or sad around her. either be upbeat about all the great shit you have going on in your life, or be stoic and non-emotional. be strong and demonstrate you're living a great life, and she can't share in it now.

stop paying for her stuff, her phone, her car, etc.

one of two things will happen, she'll either try to re-insert herself into your life, or she won't. if she tries, her motivations are obviously questionable for a variety of reasons. you'll need to tease out some more if you want to consider trying to reconcile. if she doesn't, she's showing you what you need to know, it's time to divorce her post haste.

last thing - go talk to a lawyer, and get things documented from her - if you have emails/texts/etc., save them somehow. get advice on how to position yourself for a filing.

Whisper · 2018-01-02T19:20:19+00:00

"Here's some dick pics. Please return my vacuum cleaner."

Idiot.

Of course she cheated on you.

If an ex contacts your woman, and she doesn't immediately tell you about it, she either cheated on you, or will do so soon.

red-arctic-tern · 2018-01-02T08:24:41+00:00

Your wife must be above suspicion. If not, divorce.

You start your post by explaining your wifes past. Why does it bother you? You need to sleep with so many women that you don't care about it anymore.

Werewolf35b · 2018-01-02T09:20:49+00:00

70% lol.

Your a better "partner."

Him? He was better at brutalizing her torn slimy gooey innards with his

ALPHA BLACK COCK.

It's over. Sorry.

dongpal · 2018-01-02T12:25:16+00:00

lmao vaccum. thats how the bitches call the blowjob nowadays

RepostGhostCst2Cst · 2018-01-02T14:39:02+00:00

Come on man. You know she did. Please listen to this. It's never ever going to go away. This is always going to cause suspicion. Knowing what I do now, I would see about walking. It's never just a one time thing either. In today's society it's okay for this kind of shit to happen. They promote it. So if you don't got kids, I would seriously consider leaving. Do yourself a favor

[deleted] · 2018-01-02T18:40:33+00:00

I'm not sure how you arrived at 70% when it's pretty much certain she fucked him.

XT3M3 · 2018-01-02T19:11:07+00:00

if you have to ask.....

jb_trp · 2018-01-02T19:15:34+00:00

Doesn't matter if she actually cheated (in the sense they had physical sex) or not. Her behavior is inappropriate inexcusable for a married woman. She's being sexual with another man. Period.

And she tried to hide it and gaslight you... You're not being "paranoid." You saw smoke and checked, and yes, there's fire. You caught her red handed. If you stay with her, you'll never be able to trust her again, and she'll likely do it again.

Get screen shots of the conversation and save them. They will help you in divorce proceedings. Then get a good lawyer. Do not have any kids with this woman.

Bigblackbuck73 · 2018-01-02T19:20:38+00:00

Yep she cheated, you have to move on. You aren't 70% sure she cheated, you are 100% sure, and 70% not sure what to do about it. Hopefully you realize that if you pretend this was, "just a one time thing", or "I just got drunk at lunch and it happened" then you are truly fucked and she's going to be getting her shit pushed in weekly if not more. Sorry bro, I will toast a glass of wine to another fallen soldier for you.

To the guy that said she had a passcode, she's guilty, some jobs force you to have a passcode if you have email from work. Its only if you don't know the passcode that there is an issue.

connorcormack · 2018-01-03T01:41:33+00:00

Guys... wtf

zboo1h · 2018-01-02T21:34:34+00:00

Your wife's throat was full of some other guy's dick, and she enjoyed it. Then she lied to you about it to your face.

Don't kill her, do even worse: begin proceedings to never speak to her again. Then, when you're legally separated from her, never speak to her again, or offer any explanation for your actions.

The rest of her life will be confusion and pain, as it should be.

pilljourney · 2018-01-02T23:20:40+00:00

Tears are one of the 2 tools that women use against men. Women do legitimately cry, of course, but this is a clear example of the kind they use to get what they want. It makes you feel bad for her and want to protect her, it turns you into the aggressor and her into the victim, even in your own mind.

She cheated, and even if she didn't, she disobeyed your trust and loyalty, she's not worth your loyalty. If it were me I'd either smash on the side or leave her, more than likely I'd leave. Maybe both.

huge_gap · 2018-01-03T00:17:15+00:00

Vacuumed his jizz up like a roto rooter.

0kool74 · 2018-01-03T21:42:30+00:00

Alpha widow to semi-pro basketball player
Has passcode on her phone
Getting schlong picks from ex
Gave back an old vacuum cleaner? DAYUM.....these thots so stupid they can't even come up with believable lies anymore LMAO
Come back in 3 months and let us know you've bounced. But, if you're still state of the art stupid and stuck around, spare us the details!

life_is_dumb · 2018-01-02T19:06:21+00:00

Her old flame sent dick pics and apparently they met? She never mentioned it before. I confront her and she says she gave back an old vaccuum cleaner her forgot with her when they lived together, then cried so much and told me I'm paranoid and not being a good husband.

This paragraph exists, and yet you're only 70% sure? Dude, you're in straight denial mode.

ddiogenesofsinope · 2018-01-02T21:28:15+00:00

Take screenshots for the divorce case!!

[deleted] · 2018-01-02T23:50:26+00:00

She cheated 100 percent. Leave her.

wheresMYsteakAt · 2018-01-03T02:57:15+00:00

Sounds innocent enough to me.

Werewolf35b · 2018-01-04T22:58:08+00:00

Look dude. I said he was black and was right. Your defense is ridiculous. I clowned you, but you have bigger problems to deal with. Take the "L" and move on.

So..

Why OP"s Peter In Law Is Black

Dissertation, by Werewolf35b, Published Jan 4th, 2018

He is 6'8"
He wants his vacuum back.
He's texting another man's wife
He's a basketball player
Hes hung (were dick pics shot in panorama mode?)
You wife is so enthralled by him, she is willing to throw away your entire life, to make him ejaculate one.more.time.

Conclusion, he black.

pbar · 2018-01-06T19:29:45+00:00

Yeah. A vacuum cleaner to put his dick in.

SelfRighte0usSuicide · 2018-01-22T02:03:26+00:00

Man I know it sucks but STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF and go through divorce. It's gonna be exhausting, depressing and stressful the next few months but you must do it. You will get stronger every time you get hurt. Trust me, do yourself a favor and divorce her!

chronosthetitan · 2018-01-24T13:03:46+00:00

Her name Lauren?

enjoyablehat · 2018-01-26T21:10:04+00:00

dick pics they met

Come on, man.

anusbleach11111 · 2018-01-02T18:28:33+00:00

Troll

kregsslauggteepla · 2018-01-03T01:45:40+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this thread is fake as all fuck

Let me guess, he had a 40 inch dick, his name was Lebron and your perfect blonde bride was a southern belle with a confederate daddie and you’re on the other line jizzing to these comments pretending he go his revenge on slavery or some retarded fetish

GTFO and mods please delete this shit

connorcormack · 2018-01-03T01:45:55+00:00

Deleting thread once it reaches 24 hours.

"Get ready to get divorced. Do NOT get her fucking pregnant."