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I think this one could be copy pasted to main sub as a blue pill example. I'm on spectrum so I can't control my emotions much if I don't completely shut myself down but I have extremely good beta bucks qualities yet I was anhiliated tonight, I have 163 IQ, a degree in mechanical engineering, couple of millions inherited from my parents, I'm an avid reader who can talk about many subjects, my downsides are I'm short, bald and don't have natural social skills, I do well in friendly settings but holy shit I was never prepared to what happened tonight. There was a girl from work and her "best friend", I think they have a fuckbuddy thing going on but I didn't realize it until today to be honest. I flirted with the girl and got a first date for tonight but that motherfucker started to helicopter us around during work never letting me create rapport or tease her and asked her some questions about an old crush of hers constantly irritating the fuck out of me, as an autist I went to my safe place and bailed the fuck out. After the shift he found us outside and asked if we wanna have a couple of drinks, when I told him we have other plans he said oooh so thats a date then and winked to her, she said its not exactly that for some reason, probably because I went full beta earlier and holy shit, holy fucking shit I lost it, I asked him if he could just fuck off, he said there is no need for that and she left me there. I blew it hard and shit wasn't even subtle, I know there is no turning it around at this point but how could I improve myself and my frame so this shit doesn't happen again?


[–]Merwebb 122 points123 points  (3 children)

Use that High IQ to read and analyze all those top posts and sidebar with a critical eye.

Use all that money to pay for a personal trainer, a dietitian, get fit and pay a stylist to redo your wardrobe and haircut.

Keep investing, keep making that money grow. Keep reading.

Join a salsa dancing class, a book group, whatever and just go, interact, you set your limits yourself, autistic or not. Just enjoy the interactions.

That dude that you said attacked you is jealous as fuck, he had you in a mental place and you tried to go away from there. Big no no in his petty mind.

Dont hate him, he's just like that. You can't change him, but you can change yourself. You can be better than the version of you that couldn't make a joke in that situation and make him be awkward.

Never go out with women you work. They have preference in the eyes of HR. Expand your social circles.

Stop chasing, better yourself, become the price.

Breathe, my man. Just take some time and breathe.

[–]Uberfeedus 11 points12 points  (0 children)

+1 for dancing. It'll make you happier than anything else. Combine it with lifting.

[–]mountainbiker178 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is great advice for anytime, autistic or not.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to see OP responding to this comment rather than questions about his fucking IQ. Don't be afraid, /u/Yabadababoobs, you can totally do this. Start with any of this advice, and every day you progress a little bit is a fucking win.

[–]huge_gap 63 points64 points  (1 child)

I know a lot of people hate it but try again with a different girl. And again. And again. It will hurt, you'll feel bad sometimes. Sometimes you'll feel like you want to quit and that it's not worth it. More than anything you'll want to just say fuck it and give up because feeling bad sucks.

But if you can go against your base human nature to protect yourself and take the easu road, and instead keep trying, you'll succeed.

[–]markdumte 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Also, try it with a girl you don't work with and don't have to see every day.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 48 points49 points  (3 children)

I'm on spectrum so I can't control my emotions

Wrong.

I have 163 IQ

The smartest thing you can do with this is stop telling people about it.

Be honest with yourself. You are spouting this number because you feel inferior. You have trouble functioning in daily life, so you're worried that everyone will think you're useless, so you tell them all about how smart you are.

Dumb move.

Now they think you are useless and arrogant.

This is the example of the dumb shit you do because you don't know the basic social rules that others do.

But here's the good news: Autism does not prevent you from having social skills, it just makes it difficult to learn them.

You are going to have to:

  1. Make a conscious, deliberate and ongoing effort to read social skills.
  2. Learn to run those skills in high-level emulation, using other bits of your brain.
  3. Acquire those skills by consulting literal sources of information to supplement your observations of others.
  4. Be okay with the fact that this is going to take you a much longer time than others.
  5. Never use being a sperg as an excuse.
  6. Once you start learning to pass, never tell anyone. Not your friends, not your date, not your girlfriend, not your fucking therapist. No good will ever come from that conversation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you mean learning to pass?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Sounds more like you got played by her Beta Orbiter-in-Chief.

[–]Rosace_89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this OP

the guy looked waaay too butthurt to be anything close to an alpha

[–]TheLegionnaire00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking the exact same thing. If she is calling him her "best friend" it means she isn't considering fucking him. If he was actually a friend he wouldn't give a fuck Who this chick îs banging. So, that means he is an orbiter.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahahahahaha you write hilariously, even though I think you don’t feel so good about this interchange. Well, you’re smarter than I am. And richer by a couple million lol. Lmao this was hilarious to read.

Here’s what you do. First of all, if you think getting the girl or punching the guy is going to fix this, you’ve lost. What matters is inside you. Realize this: you’re fine. You’re just fine. It’s okay.

Doesn’t seem like you got played by an alpha (maybe that’s your autism mistaking anyone who got under your skin as that), but stop panicking. You’re okay.

Way to do this going forward is you have to own your shit. Don’t go seeking that girl out or that guy either. But when it comes around, don’t run. Tell her the truth, that you lost your temper and are sorry for acting like a doofus. Laugh about it. It’s not the end of the world. Trust me, if she likes you she’ll like you. Just be honest. And if she doesn’t like that then screw it, you don’t want someone around who doesn’t like you anyway. That’s what rejection is: it’s women screening themselves out of your life for you.

If you’re Christian thank God for today because it could have been so much worse.

Edit: that guy is annoying ; you are totally normal to find his behavior pathetic and irritating. If she goes for him she has bad taste in men. You can get dates with other girls; don’t get desperate.

[–]Viking_RnP 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Just buy whores until you give less of a fuck about pussy.

[–]HangsHeKing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nah don't do this. Why buy something you could get for free? Buy a fish and you'll only eat for a day. Learn to fish, boys.

[–]666mafioso 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Lol 163IQ, nice troll post. Very meta

[–]Zen-ArtOfShitposting 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you expand on that?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You shouldn't have been trying to date a girl at work, first of all. Never shit where you eat. Remember sexual harrasement in the workplace is a big deal right now, so best to keep away.

Regarding the situation above it didn't even seem that bad. You put him in his place when you told him to fuck off, I don't think you are as beta as you think you are. He's the "best friend" not you. It sounds like she was attracted to you(wouldn't have accepted the date if she wasn't) but he cock blocked you as the beta that he is. Plus It is one girl. Plenty more out there. Now go out there and try again. Just keep trying, reading material, and gaining experience. If you do all of the above it is only a matter of time before you start to get the pussy you want.

And work on your social skills. Talk to everyone and anyone about everything and anything. For people who aren't naturals, practicing is you best friend.

[–]InscrutablePUA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude you have money and high IQ (this one's important) - with some hard work you can achieve A FUCKTON.

The first thing you need to remember is that with social skills, it's a lot of learning by fire and trial and error. We've all been AMOGed, rejected, and even threatened with violence from jealous betas. You need to realize that you're better than these jealous fuckwads and approach girls from a position of strength, not weakness. Get into the gym and lift and erase the bald/short insecurity. Read up on the classic texts like No More Mr Nice Guy and a couple of pickup books.

In short, follow the sidebar! What naturals learned naturally, you will need to learn intellectually. It will be hard, but worth it, and you have the IQ to achieve it fast.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, I feel you. Start a martial art like Muay Thai or BJJ - believe me, you'll basically get trained to pull out your balls and be better/faster/stronger than other men, all in a friendly environment (usually most gyms are friendly). Good luck

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha you just said what most of us would of been thinking at that point. it's too bad that your direct approach can't be the normal way things are done because it would be way more simple that way.

fuck that guy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

one solution other than suicide is to just learn from this experience.

I understand that autism is something that you're going to struggle with your whole life, and that's going to make your journey that much more difficult for you. But you recognize where you went beta, so now you have a chance to keep that from happening again.

I want you to understand that we can't always go to our safe place. This goes for someone with autism as well as someone who doesn't have it. If we always go to our safe place when we feel uncomfortable, we're never going to grow as men. We have to step outside of our comfort zone, that's what makes us stronger. And when you start to feel irritated or angry, you make sure to be extra mindful about what you say and do, remember that body language is a big deal as well.

Next time you feel like telling someone to fuck off, just make a point to act friendly and polite. I don't mean you grovel and let them walk all over you. For example, when he said "oooh so thats a date then" and then she said "it's not exactly that" you could have said any number of things other than telling him to fuck off. You could have said "yeah, it's not exactly that" with a smirk, you could have said "yeah, I don't date", you could have said "I'm just trying to get a free meal tonight". Anything other than telling the guy to fuck off. Any of those things could have probably made them both laugh and maybe even get the chicks hamster spinning.

You just have to be ok with guys pulling this shit, if he's going out of his way to cockblock you it's because he is insecure and sees you as a threat. That's what you WANT. you want people to understand that you can come in and swoop a girl bc you're alpha. whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of whether or not you're ok with it, being ok with it just makes it easier on you. it'll take some time to retrain your brain but you'll get there. and next time someone's trying to cockblock you, take it as a compliment.

and as for why she sad "it's not exactly that", it could be any number of reasons. Maybe she's just trying to be nice to you bc she knows you're on the spectrum (sometimes it's really easy to tell when someone is). Maybe they BOTH knew that she's just being nice and that's why he winked to her. or maybe she actually is kind of interested, but she didn't want you or the other guy to know so she played it off like she's not. We can never know what was going through her head. If you ever find yourself in that situation again, just remember to keep your cool

I also want you to realize that guy probably isn't that alpha. He doesn't sound very alpha to me. Like I said earlier, it takes a certain type of mentality to try to cockblock someone. Just think about it, if he saw that you were getting on with her and made a point of taking time out of his workday to stand around y'all and make it harder on you, do you really think he has that much going on for him? No, he's probably just jealous. A lot of guys SEEM alpha, not alot actually are. And tbh, I don't think he really played you like a flute, I think a lot of this is in your head. I think if anything you played yourself like a flute by allowing yourself to get upset and react in the ways you did. But it's ok, don't be hard on yourself, we all make mistakes. What matters is that you learn from them. Think of all this as a game, like dark souls. you failed and now you get to go back and try again with a different approach. It can be frustrating but it can also be fun.

[–]dopefits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t let it get to you and just make fun of him in a light matter like wow buddy stop stalking us etc. When he said u guys going on a date ahhh just a&a him and say youre actually getting married.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've learned that if you are high functioning in the autism spectrum you can effectively train yourself through conditioning to understand every social skillset needed to maneuver your way through any situation with enough experience. Get out of your comfort zone daily. In fact, with your analytical skills you can become more socially fluent than a natural alpha. A key idea that helped me out a lot is constantly reminding myself that "everything is temporary" this goes for life, the world, the universe, this comment, the conversation you're in, the girl you're talking to, the boyfriend she has, arguments, embarrassment, happiness, sadness... Everything has and end, with that knowledge it helps you chill out in situations you may perceive as important. So when that dude won't leave you alone to get a chance with her, just know somewhere in the back of your head that his presence is temporary and eventually you will get a chance alone with her.

Don't get sucked into his or her frame. Stay in your own domain, don't care about whatever external circumstances are taking place around you and just have fun until people naturally follow you around. If you show that his presence effects you that much you're giving him power. Don't give him power.

[–]--____notfunny____-- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing you didnt mention : do you lift ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

163 IQ? What IQ test did you take that can measure that high?

[–]Yabadababoobs 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I'm not sure about the technicalities to be honest, I was a troubled child growing up and spent quite some time with psychologues, I had four test in total starting from 7, last one at 22, lowest was 157 and highest was 163 so of course I only mention the higher one if it comes up lol. All the tests were similar, I was asked to find differences in geometric shapes that follows a pattern.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Just that I have never heard of a test that tests that high. The standards can only tell you if you are 140+ at most, I dont know any scale that tests up to 163. When did you do the test and in what country?

[–]Yabadababoobs 1 point2 points  (2 children)

One when I was 7 after I beat a girl during school and forced to a psychiatric evaluatiob 18 years ago, one in middle school, one in high school and one at 22. Every time I was depressed or fucked up big time they wanted roschach, IQ and that test wants you to say "I strongly agree" etc to hundreds of questions. I took all my tests in Turkey.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I beat a girl during school

hahahaha, so you see, you got in you! joking of course: not good for yourself to beat up people. BUT that kind of evil/psycopath/domineering energy is exactly what you need to pull women (yes, that's unfortunate, sad world). Also, read "Improving your social skills", written by a guy with Asperger's. Was very useful to me pre-RP.

[–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should've taken those tests in Bacon or Chicken instead then

[–]ShotgunTRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have 160+ IQ and can’t understand “don’t shit where you eat”

[–]Dadoma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me it just sounds like all you should've done is ignored the fuck out of the dude. He sounds pretty much more autistic than you and isn't a natural alpha lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn guitar

[–]mental_models 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn how to use money and status to influence people (including, but not limited to women).

Your paragraph is almost entirely focused on the trivial.

You probably should never use or read the terms 'alpha', 'beta', 'iq', 'rapport'... again.

Focus on using money and status to influence other humans. Become competent at that, and learn to get high off of that. Continue a basic routine of maintaining your health and your wealth.

[–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"There was a girl from work"

Sigh...

You want to kill yourself over this? Get real dude. Nobody cares if you're short, just lift and present yourself with confidence. Met a 5'4 Asian dude at my gym once and he was rock solid in terms of composure. He doesn't carry himseof like a fucking worm and was easily way more respectable than a lot of tall dudes I know. Height 7s onoy a handicap in your head. If you have a strong sense of self, a strong frame, a stoic attitude, if you lift, then people won't fuck with you and people will respect you. If you're going bald, shafe it all off and bust out that baby oil or car wax and lube your fucking skull to the point where light reflecting on your head becomes a hazard to planes. Keep your dick outside of women at work, keep your personal life separate from work. You want to practice social skills? Go somewhere where you will only see people who don't know you and that you probably won't see again.

[–]randarrow 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Too late to recover.

Next time, make a quiet joke to her about him orbiting. Lean in: "This guy a moth or something?" Or, "Hey look, he's coming back. You into this guy? He's like a sick puppy." As soon as he leaves: "Bet if you called out to him he'd come back, offer him a cookie or something so he calms down." Then, just walk away and let her come to you. Become amused at his attention, make it an inside joke.

[–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If shes fucking the guy already, he's wasting his time.

[–]Taco_Truck_Aficionad -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'll probably gonna get downvoted for this, but the only way out of this is to kick that guy's ass in a fight. It doesn't have to be a fair fight, blindside him with a sock full of rocks if you have to. He just has to go down. You'll feel better.

[–]menial_optimist 1 points1 points [recovered]

You say you have millions, yet you work? Are you at your dream job OP because I'm not buying the story.

[–]Yabadababoobs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I don't work my mental health would detoriate extremely fast, I've been there before, spent my teens as a recluse mostly keeping to myself and reading, I've developped extreme trust issues and started to have delusions that everybody wants to mock me. Also I'm not rich enough to live The Bilzerian life and having a prestigious degree was important for my family.

[–]Retstortion 1 points1 points [recovered]

couple millions from parents gets anally destroyed by random dude

[–]Yabadababoobs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn't even know how to dress and wore baggy shit till I was 24, money doesn't teach you life.

[–]ThatIzWhack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's your point?