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Wanna-be-alpha trying to pick on me, pours a drink on my head. Critique me. (self.askTRP)

submitted by hilu12

So I was out of town drinking with a couple of friends. One of my friends had a big brother who's a heavy drinker and we were staying at his place. The plan was to head downtown in the evening. We get to the place and right soon after he asks how many drinks we have on us. I tell him we have little bit of booze and a couple of beers. He then starts bashing us "what a little pussies/faggots" and I'm like cool whatever I don't drink if I don't want to.

As the night progresses he starts to get more in my face and tries to force me to drink with him. "come on man don't be such a pussy, come take few shots". I look him dead in the eye and tell him I know my limits and I'm cool with my own drinks. He then continues to pick on me with something like "Maybe we should go and wash your pussy in the bathroom" and I just A&A "as long as the soap is gynecologically tested for bacteriovaginosis" (I may have fucked that one up, really didn't know what to answer).

But basically everytime he spoke to me I focused on keeping the eye contact intensively and waiting for him to shy away. The picking went on and I didn't submit to his will and I saw him getting pissed about it. We then get to the taxi that was supposed to take us to the bar. In the taxi I'm having a laugh with one his friends and he tries to get my attention by grabbing my shoulder and saying my name, I just ignored him and continued with the other guy (focused on having fun).

When we get to the bar my friends brother is pretty fucking wasted and almost ready to go home. We are sitting at a table and I start to open up this random girl. Having a great conversation with her and both enjoying our time while my friend and his brother sit quietly next to me. When all the sudden my friends brother just out of nowhere pours a full drink on my head. Right at that moment I knew from reading RP that he was emotionally invested in me and he showed everyone that he's emotionally unstable so I just ignored it like it didn't happen. I said something like "god you're making me sweaty" and brushed my hair. Instant giggles from the girl.

My friends brother then got thrown out of bar later during the night from passing out.

I'm pretty new to RP and this was the first time I was being confronted by another male like that. Was it because he saw me as threat? Or because he saw me as a easy prey? Please critique my behavior and actions so I can reflect on this one better.

EDIT: Thanks for the feedback. I personally can't see how fighting someone clearly drunk in a nightclub would have helped my situation, if anything I would have been thrown out with him (what's there to win?). Student parties get wet and messy anyways.

I'm not interested in felony charges since I have a background in MMA. It's not like he was holding a frame there or confronting me, he literally just poured the drink and ran away, which I thought was extremely childish and not worth investing my time and effort.

Also I'm not sure if pouring a drink on someone would be concidered as an assault (and therefore legit reason to 'defend' myself by kicking the guy's face in) in where I'm from, maybe in 'murica.


[–]asapzombie 1 points1 points [recovered]

He’s probably gay

[–]RPAlternate42 48 points49 points  (2 children)

I agree. He's doing the " pick on the girl I like on the playground.". Except the gay version.

[–]Zachar1a 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would never have thought of that, but you guys are right. You learn so much from reading TRP.

[–]BusterVadge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

holy shit, I didn't pick up on it, but you're probably right. OP could have called him out on it, and it could have ended the asshole behavior right away.

[–]SemenMoustache 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Woah woah woah. I feel like I'm going insane in this thread and have to disagree with most people.

There's a massive difference in keeping frame to what OP let happen to him here. It's one thing keeping frame in a verbal situation but nowhere near the same when it gets physical.

This dude completely crossed the line and turned it from something you can laugh or joke off, to a situation where you need to be sticking up for yourself. Who the fuck wants to spend the rest of their night covered in beer or a cocktail or some shit. Clothes and hair stinking. You don't look like your holding frame, you look like a bitch. And anyone who watched that happen to you would be thinking the same thing.

To get to the point that this lad felt comfortable pouring a drink over your head while your chatting up a bird means he sees you as a victim. At this point you need to give up on your chances with this bird and address the issue with this guy and confront him. I'm not saying you necessarily need to get violent, but ignoring him doesn't scream 'oh wow look how stoic he is' it screams 'this dudes that much of a bitch he just let me pour this drink on his head and doesn't have the balls to do anything'.

And at that point, that takes over as your priority rather than this random bird you've met on a night out. Your pride and respect > some potential lay.

Edit: This wasn't a direct reply to the above guy, just to the thread in general and above is the top rated comment

[–]rapinatore 1 points1 points [recovered]

THIS. stop hamstering around about stoicism and "frame", some things just make you look like a bitch if you don't stand up for yourself. "you're making me sweaty" my ass

[–]AWorseManThanYou 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Well, my answer would be to meet such disrespect with violence.

Men are different than women. You demonstrate you are not exploitable by responding with violence.

[–]ice_walker 62 points63 points  (0 children)

"god you're making me sweaty"

Owning the situation like a baws. Good job.

[–]michal8888 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I think you've taken "keeping the frame" little too far.

He's disrespected you a lot and given you reason to punch him, you know how to fight and he was clearly more drunk than you. Should've been the easy fight. Was he much bigger than you or better fighter?

And why the fuck your friend didn't intervene at all while his brother was being such an asshole?

[–]EnzoGold 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He's the beta of the group, its normal for people to shit on him all the time. IDK how he lets people treat him like this

[–]1atticusfinch1973 49 points50 points  (1 child)

You actually did totally fine. Not reacting to him pouring a beer on your head is better than 98% of the guys here would pull off. Ignoring otherwise and agree and amplify when needed.

Don't even give a loser like that a second thought, he's in no way an "alpha", if anything he's a drunk and a loser.

And I'm willing to bet you got that girls' number.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Haha I'll take that bet. Kid needs to stand up for himself.

[–]MrSittingBull 46 points47 points  (41 children)

I would've fought him. That's my mindset. Biologically, when someone challenges the Alpha, usually combat follows.

[–]redpilledjoe 35 points36 points  (1 child)

yup. theres no way i would have let someone pour a drink on my head

[–]ImQuitingPorn 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I join you guys. Thats too much to not react.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Yeah, I personally would have done this as well.

It really depends on the size comparison. I'm 6' 205 (6 years of lifting) so normally I would be able to destroy the average party guy.

[–]Aarxnw 19 points20 points  (7 children)

Good luck practicing TRP from your cooshty little jail cell when you're in prison for manslaughter.

Fighting 'incredibly drunk' guys? Not smart nor alpha.

[–]Ironic_Gangster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If such an overt demonstration of harmful intent and disrespect by the drunk guy isn't enough to make you get up and defend yourself, what is? The likelihood of OP killing the man in a fistfight is highly unlikely (I know it happens). In some states, if you knock a guy out and make anhonest attempt to revive the guy you can be let off pretty easily.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Grab his shirt so when you knock him out it doesn’t get a brain injury from smashing his head on the ground

[–]EnzoGold 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You sound like a pussy making up every excuse in the world to avoid a fight. Sometimes a man has to fight and this was one of those times.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bingo. OP needs to grow a pair

[–]vicious_armbar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good luck practicing TRP from your cooshty little jail cell when you're in prison for manslaughter.

You're seriously overestimating the legal consequences of a fist fight. Especially if the other guy assaults you first, and yes pouring your drink on someone is assault. At least in America.

[–]Aarxnw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where I'm from, a threat can only be responded to with what's considered 'reasonable force', if you knock the guy out and he falls back and hits his head (as is relatively common with street fights) and dies, you're going to jail.

[–]g4casting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So you're saying you're willing to let someone walk all over you, take away your dignity and your right to physical safety because you're afraid of the consequences of defending yourself from that? You're a coward, there are things that have to be done sometimes, and you can't shy away from them.

[–]lolsociety 1 points1 points [recovered]

"Being alpha," in front of a girl or two isn't worth criminal charges. Come on. Screams of feeling the need to prove how alpha you are to your own detriment which itself indicates some insecurity. I think something more stern and threatening than OPs response might have been warranted, but not throwing a first punch. Honestly, maybe evenly reciprocating. As childish as it is, instantly throwing a drink in his face may have either shut it down, or at least caused dipshit to initiate an assault and justify self defense.

[–]firewaterdirt 1 points1 points [recovered]

Dude that shit is beyond "alpha/beta" frame or whatever you faggots call it. That was a clear boundary he just pissed all over. Fuck that man.

[–]lolsociety 1 points1 points [recovered]

Prisons are full of 'badasses' like yourself with no self control.

[–]LethalShade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, you got half a point. The only part I disagree is pouring a drink on your head like that is borderline physical assault, like getting spit on. You don't have to go all out throwing punches or anything but at least a hard shove, the bouncers will be on your side as opposed to a drunk slobbering idiot who just poured his drink on you and the floor.

[–]redd_reality 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Then at what point would it have been acceptable to fight back? Is it ever okay to throw a punch?

The dude crossed the line by pouring the drink, simple as that.

[–]hilu12 2 points3 points  (3 children)

In my country you may use violence to protect yourself (self-defence). Clearly my safety wasn't compromised there so sucker punching him would have sent me straight to jail.

I understand that in USA there are more liberal laws concerning the use of violence but I'm looking for a universal solutions and I'm not flipping the coin between messing up my health/future career and proving a point to a drunk.

[–]redd_reality 0 points1 point  (2 children)

In my country you may use violence to protect yourself (self-defence). Clearly my safety wasn't compromised there so sucker punching him would have sent me straight to jail.

No pouring a drink over you, soaking you in beer, in front of a club full of people is 100% violence inflicted on you.

It's less about the degree to which he actually hurt you and more about the such blatant lack of respect he has for you. He demonstrated that to everyone. He crossed a major fucking boundary and, although you reacted with wit, you ultimately didn't let him know he crossed a major fucking line.

At the very fucking least you should have thrown a drink in his face, soaking him like he did to you.

[–]adam_varg 1 points1 points [recovered]

lol no

not in europe, you cant even fuck up guy who break into your house unless he is actually violent against you, which you would most likely have to prove with medical report.. sadly i am not kidding, have friend who is in jail for defending himself with knife when he was on the ground getting kicked by four guys who were previously groping his 14yr old sister and her gfs, all was on camera, dude still got 4 years..

[–]trp28287 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I‘m sorry about your friend, but if you think you’re likely to go to jail because of a fistfight you’re wrong. I know a guy who was in a similar situation as OP, a girl poured a little bit of vodka on him (idk if it was an accident), he just gave her a push-kick that knocked her out and got away with it. He gets into fights all the time and nobody cares, do you really think the police is going to get involved because of a simple suckerpunch in a club?

[–]Ironic_Gangster 1 point2 points  (8 children)

You're going extremely far to equate a 'no self-control inmate' with someone who has the nuts to defends himself...

[–]lolsociety 1 points1 points [recovered]

Defende himself from what, embarrassment?

[–]g4casting 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Are you serious? So I can just come over and take a piss on your back and you won't do shit about it?

[–]lolsociety 1 points1 points [recovered]

You mean I could bait you until fucking assault charges for the cost of a drink and gravity?

[–]g4casting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah you could. Except you wouldn't, because that's how it works in real life. If you sense that a man is ready to defend his dignity and you might end getting fucked up, you'll think twice about pouring a drink on his head. And you'll probably stop way before that. This guy got humiliated because he put himself in that position, he never set any boundary.

[–]vicious_armbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You wouldn't get assault charges were I'm from if someone threw a drink on you. The other guy would. Also you're legally allowed to defend yourself if a reasonable person would conclude that violence is imminent. But maybe you live in a cuck country... if so there's nothing I can do to help you.

[–]Ironic_Gangster 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Embarrassment? Is that what you think this is all about? Pouring the drink on OP's head was the male version of the shit test. OP failed hard. OP was supposed to put that asshole in his place (by retaliating physically) but instead, he just took that guys bullshit. Personal question: have you ever fought back against anyone in your life?

[–]lolsociety 1 points1 points [recovered]

When I was young and immature, yes, plenty. Then I grew up and now I have more to lose than my ego.

You should read the book When Violence is the Answer. There are plenty of times when violence is called for, and this isn't one of them. What are you so afraid of in not retaliating? You think you'll look like a little bitch? You think your dignity will be lost? Dignity is self derived man. Whatever you're trying to preserve isn't worth it. You can't beat the charge but that doesn't mean you'll beat the ride in the police car, nor the arrest record that will come up on every background check run against.

Further more, your body is more fragile than you're paying respect to. Even a man you tower over can fuck you're shit up if he's trained or even if he's simply read a book on target based violence. Defend yourself; not your "MANHOOD..."

[–]Ironic_Gangster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree with you in refraining from violence, especially when there's not much at stake other than one's ego. From what I've observed is that most people who are too scared to defend themselves will cloak their fear with a veil of self-righteousness and 'self-restraint.' We obviously defer in terms of defining "defending yourself." For me, another man pouring a drink on my head is a level of bullshit that I absolutely will not tolerate passively.

OP could have AT LEAST splashed a drink on the guy to show that pushing him around will have consequences. After all, that's ultimately what he needed to do. Show that fucking with him will have consequences. I guess that you're right that it didn't need to be a fight, but he needed to show that he will retaliate.

[–]FvckYourSafeSpace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‘Criminal charges’ ha, a slap would have sufficed for this clown, he’s not gonna press charges for a slap.

[–]MrSittingBull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is more accurate actually.

[–]PIGamer86 -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

I don't know. I feel like context is also important. Getting your ass kicked by someone bigger than you doesn't seem like the right course of action.

[–]MrSittingBull 5 points6 points  (7 children)

The size of the person doesn't really matter in street fights. It's really about the amount of aggression coming from a certain person. You can go to Youtube and find many a few videos of the smaller guy winning a fight.

Also, the result has nothing to do with the principle. Even if he did lose, there'd still be the concept of showing that he's not just going to take that type of treatment. Which is what he did.

[–]100mega 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Saying that the size doesn't really matter in a street fight sounds like aikido BP brainwash. Size definitely matters and fighting in a crowded nightclub is always a coinflip. Atleast you showed a random bitch you ain't BB by spending the rest of your life as a vegetable in a electrical wheelchair.

[–]MrSittingBull 4 points5 points  (3 children)

This has nothing to do with improving your size or the importance of height and women. This has to do with actually fighting.

If the guy poured the beer on OP, and OP turned around and socked him between the eyes and kept throwing hands it would've been an easy fight. So no, size doesn't matter, unless you're in a circumstance where size actually begins to matter. (close-quarter swinging, grappling matches, etc...)

[–]100mega 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This has nothing to do with improving your size or the importance of height and women.

Sure it does. You just pointed out that even if OP didn't win he would still be considered as a man who stands his ground. But I've heard quadriplegia doesn't affect your boners since it's a different nervous system so you can still fuck bitches from wheelchair.

[–]MrSittingBull 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This guy was being bullied. If you're faced with a bully usually the best way to defend against harassment is confrontation.

And what's with Reddit and extreme examples? Unless this dude who poured the beer is a Navy Seal, in all likelihood the worst that would happen is a black eye and then someone would break it up. I mean you're acting like this OP would get RKO'd in a nightclub.

The least OP could've done was at least send the message that he'll confront the guy if he needs to.

[–]yes_we_can_t -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You sound like people arguing against seatbelts. Sure, 99.999..% of the time you're fine without it.

Perhaps 99.999% of the time bar and street fights are not seriously harmful either.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d rather fight some big dude that looks like he chews on his fist than some dude my build but way more in shape and athletic

[–]vicious_armbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Atleast you showed a random bitch you ain't BB by spending the rest of your life as a vegetable in a electrical wheelchair.

Omg some of you guys are such pussies! You know what happens 99.9% of the time when you get into a fist fight. Nothing. A couple of punches get thrown; both parties may get some minor injuries, and that's it.

[–]hilu12 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I personally can't see how fighting someone clearly drunk in a nightclub would have helped my situation, if anything I would have been thrown out with him (what's there to win?). Student parties get wet and messy anyways.

I'm not interested in felony charges since I have a background in MMA. It's not like he was holding a frame there or confronting me, he literally just poured the drink and ran away, which I thought was extremely childish and not worth investing my time and effort.

Also I'm not sure if pouring a drink on someone would be concidered as an assault (and therefore legit reason to 'defend' myself by kicking the guy's face in) in where I'm from, maybe in 'murica.

[–]anonswede 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude was acting like a bitch, after delivering that smooth line to the girl you should have said "Excuse me for one second", turned around and went full Ari Gold on him.

A bitch slap for a bitch.

[–]Big_Red_suppository 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Are we missing part of the story? Did you fuck his sister or did he overhear you say his car was a piece of shit or something? Its got to be that or he has a serious crush on you.

If someone's hostile toward you they want you to enter their frame, which you didn't and that's the way to be. Shit I probably would have punched him.

[–]EdAnt 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I get random dudes trying to fight me out of the Clear Blue Sky all the time. Literally guys will just walk up to me who I've never seen or met and try to start a fight. I just smile, laugh, never break eye contact, wait for them to throw a punch, but so far no one's ever tried. I think it just happens to some guys a lot. I can guess why, but I really don't know what it is.

[–]Ricardo2991 8 points9 points  (2 children)

6'3", 220 happens to me all the time.

[–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (1 child)

6'4" here and it happened to me all the time when I was younger. Not anymore though.

[–]indecencies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6'6", never happened to me once and I've been this height since like 8th grade.

[–]NewHum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As much as I like that you kept cool and all this guy took it to far and there should be a price to pay.

Sure you took it like a man but the point here is that you should have taken it at all.

It is one thing to deflect someone picking at you and trying to bring down your social value but it’s another when someone is clearly disrespecting you in front of your friends.

My uncle who was in the army told me they had a guy they called “ice” for his ability to stay cool in any situation. The thing was however that if you messed with him he would stand up (very slowly), come to you and then snap. He would kick someones ass for 10 sec then stop and calmly sit back down as if nothing happened.

Everybody thought he was a fucking bond Villain and so nobody would ever mess with him beyond a certain point. My uncle told me he literally only saw ice fight once in 10 years because that one time was enough for everyone to know that they shouldn’t mess with him.

Also your friends are dicks for letting that guy give you shit for so long and then not kicking his fucking ass after he did what he did.

I would never let my friends get bullied in front of me for so long and I especially wouldn’t stand by as someone poured a beer on someones head.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I would of clocked him.

[–]yaozy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was thinking this whole subreddit has gone crazy, would have done the exact same.

[–]Ironic_Gangster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Many people here are confusing being non-reactive in the stoic sense with being non-reactive in the cowardly sense. The ultimate goal of TRP is not necessarily to achieve non-reaction alone, but stoicism.

The very appeal of stoic non-reaction to women and among TRP is that it actually promotes action when under threat. More specifically, focused action. With focused action comes competence. With competence comes power. Women love powerful men and as a result they love the stoic man. Because the powerful stoic can best provide and protect them when the going gets tough.

What makes the non-reactive coward unappealing is that he does exactly that. He doesn't react when put under threat and freezes up, perhaps he even runs. The neurotic bad boy may be reactive, but women still fuck him because at least he takes action under threat.

OP, I think you demonstrated cowardice here. But I'd have to be there to make a better assessment.

[–]Philippe93 27 points28 points  (5 children)

Unbelievable how you kept your cool when he poured the drink on you,and the line was perfect aswell. 10/10

[–]MrSittingBull 15 points16 points  (4 children)

OP was just disrespected and bullied in front of his whole social circle, and somehow, him speaking and being passive-aggressive was the unanimous decision here? Sometimes you're forced to fight, this was one of those times.

[–]LiveAFTSOV 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Yeah i agree. I would not tolerate this disrespect.

Think the rock would let someone pour beer on his head?

[–]menial_optimist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe he didn't want to be kicked out and blacklisted from the bar?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There's comes a time in every mans life to be a man. This is one of those times. Maybe not knocking the guy out (although I would have) but showing some aggression here is definitely the right move any way you look at it. Kid was made to look like a bitch.

[–]beginner_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I disagree. What exactly is the point in fighting in a club/bar? Best case you get thrown out and banned permanently. But it can get worse like getting charged with Assault or the other guy pulling a knife on you. Sometimes you have to just swallow that pride.

What he could have done is call him out while still at his place. "Stop this bullshit your I will punch you in the face". And then do it. But you are still entering the other guys frame and after all that guy is a drunk looser. Reacting to him is making his words actually matter. Don't underestimate the social circle. They for sure knew that that older brother was a huge jackass and that OP handheld it rather well.

[–]party_dragon 7 points8 points  (1 child)

  1. Great line. Both of them.
  2. Cut the bitch out of your life. You've got standards. He doesn't live up to them.
  3. You did the right thing not fighting him. That would have been stupid, no way to really win for you in the sense of getting a good outcome if you fight.
  4. Now you know, for the next time, what can happen if you don't defuse the situation. Some (not many) people can get annoying, violent, etc. and seriously fuck up with your night, if not with your life. If you sense this might happen down the line, preemptively avoid such situations in a smart way (e.g. by leaving early, going to a different party, befriending him, turning the situation into humour, etc.).

[–]yes_we_can_t 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's the smarter and smoother way of dealing with these kinds of idiots. This thread is full of internet tough guys who "know" that legally you're entitled to knock a guy out if he makes you wet.

I'm not against using violence, but it's a last resort and definitely within legal boundaries (self-defense or an immediate threat). I'm not interested in jail time for beating up idiots.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Damn dude. I probably would have fought the guy. I think you did ok. But if he starts up again another time you're gonna have to shut it down unless you want this to repeat itself. Self defense has an appropriate time and place.

[–]DeuceVisional 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Are you serious? How did you not kick him in the nuts and uppercut him? I would have fucking destroyed him on the spot and gotten bouncers to have him arrested/ thrown out. Jesus fucking christ do you even have a shred of dignity for yourself? Pouring a drink on someone is assault brotha and crosses multiple lines.

[–]cussyandpopaine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i would have hit him in the face with my cup, but thats because i fucking hate to get wet, good on you for staying cool

[–]BostonM2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy is on a downward spiral and it all really came to a head for him that night - you just happened to become a target (coupled with wrong place wrong time).

I second the notion as well that he might be gay. If he is grabbing you in close quarters and making comments about how he is disgusted by a natural pussy in its element.....maybe connect some dots.

[–]juliusstreicher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He then continues to pick on me with something like "Maybe we should go and wash your pussy in the bathroom" and I just A&A "as long as the soap is gynecologically tested for bacteriovaginosis" (I may have fucked that one up, really didn't know what to answer).

When a dude is getting bad with you, do NOT A and A. A and A is a pickup technique; do you want to fuck him? Then, never mind, go ahead and do it.

[–]The__Tren__Train 20 points21 points  (8 children)

lol @ all the pussies in here congratulating you for bending over and taking it.

he pours a drink on your head, that's a legal out to clock him. he made the first move.

girl wasn't laughing at your sad attempt to distract from him owning you (he poured a full drink... on your head, and you did NOTHING), she was laughing at what a bitch you are

[–]cypherx1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This

[–]umnikos_bots -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That.

[–]michaelmindset 1 points1 points [recovered]

He isn’t a bitch. He was non reactive and didn’t let an insecure faggot ruin his night. Props to OP.

But I agree, OP had every right to clock his ass.

[–]LethalShade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, keep being unreactive when you get spit on and pissed on too. Physicality is the line that was crossed, spilling a drink on his head is borderline assault. Maybe not a full on fight was deserved but at least a hard shove and responding by physicality.

[–]The__Tren__Train 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you can non-reactive and still punch the dude in the face for pouring a drink on your head..

this is TRP, not r/hamster

[–]sky_fallen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed.

[–]wanderer779 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Are you really sure that you're legally in the clear to clock the guy? I know you want to, I know the guy deserves it, and I know 99% of people would side with OP if he did, but I don't think the law sees it that way and that's all that matters.

I mean, most likely you punch him and he sulks off but there's always that chance he calls the cops. At the least you've got a headache and legal bills to pay. FWIW most self defense guys say that you should only strike when it's necessary to protect yourself or your loved ones from harm, and otherwise you should let it go even if it dings your pride a little.

[–]The__Tren__Train 3 points4 points  (0 children)

if the asshole is wasted, has been in your face and yelling, and then he is willing to go so far as to brazenly empty a beer on your head, then it is reasonably foreseeable that he will eventually strike you.

in which case, preemptive self defense would be defensible in court.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The one who posted the story on Reddit afterwards for feedback is the one who loses. Clearly, he got to you and there’s no way you didn’t let it show if you’re here asking for feedback. He totally disrespected you in front of your social circle and you took it.

[–]MrSittingBull 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah. OP was bent over a table, had his asscheeks spread apart, and buttraped. Kicker is he didn't even fight back. Even a Beta would put up some type of resistance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For real. This whole post screams asperger. At some point this kid has to stand up for himself

[–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its okay to show emotion. You know that right? Should've told him to fuck off and punched him in his big mouth.

[–]EnzoGold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should have kicked his ass. How do you call yourself a man but take that much disrespect? You don't even have to punch him. Just push him away so he knows what will happen next if he really wants to go there. Any of my friends' friends cross the line and disrespect me I get into their face instantly. 99% of the time they will back down and respect you for it.

[–]GlennBeckAmerica 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say you did the best you could considering ...the only thing I woulda did different is if he referred to me as bitchpussy, even indirectly. That's something IMO you should have checked him on from the get go.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buddy stand up for yourself... that's all I can say this is just embarrassing. If your not prepared to fight a guy dumping his beer on your head then you gotta avoid hanging out with those type of guys. There's no way to come out looking good in this scenario and I guarantee you the girl thought you were soft.

[–]thatguywhatshisface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good work. I would’ve lost it and beat the shit out him lol

[–]PhaedrusHunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another thing. Man, I wasn't there, I'll reserve judgment. You know yourself best. So roll with the criticism. Anyone can talk shit on the internet.

And as a fellow fighter, I get it, wanting to leave it on the mats. People don't understand how quickly a lot of damage can be done. A fight is fucking chaos.

But when it's time to do something, just go for it without hesitation. I'll leave you with a quote from Hagakure.

"When one has made a decision to kill a person, even if it will be very difficult to succeed by advancing straight ahead, it will not do to think about going at it in a long roundabout way. One's heart may slacken, he may miss his chance, and by and large there will be no success. The Way of the Samurai is one of immediacy, and it is best to dash in headlong."

[–]BasketCase559 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously kicking this guy's ass would have been the best course of action to save face, but that's assault, which is a pretty serious charge. I think you did lose face, but you lost the least amount possible by being nonreactive. Jail time and an assault charge aren't worth it.

[–]SuperCrazy07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not interested in felony charges since I have a background in MMA.

Pretty much this. Don't listen to the internet warriors who want to fight someone in this situation.

I can't remember the last time someone tried to pull anything like this with me, but someone did get in a verbal fight with my wife about a year ago while I was in the bathroom.

I grabbed her and said we're leaving. She whined about how I should have kicked the guys ass (I'm a big guy) and I was like "so I can first deal with the police and then have that pussy sue for bodily injury and shit...all cuz you were arguing about him setting his beer bottle down on our table as we were leaving (I actually think the wife was wrong here.)"?

It's not worth it unless there is a real physical threat. Walk away.

[–]blackedoutfast 3 points4 points  (0 children)

stop being such an uptight pussy.

when someone starts busting your balls and teasing you, just laugh and do it back to them.

being all serious and staring him in the eyes and trying to out alpha the other dude is NOT the correct response. you were NOT "holding frame" it's just the opposite. you fell completely into his frame. you didn't look dominant or anything like that, you just looked butthurt over nothing.

taking it so seriously when the guy started teasing you shows 2 things about you: 1. you are weak, 2. you aren't used to normal male-male social interaction.

[–]fubarcapitalist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh! This one’s easy.

All his attention to you, call him out for being attracted to you.

“You’re trying to get me drunk so you can fuck me. I’m flattered.”

“Wow, you can’t seem to stop touching me. Listen it’s okay you are into guys, but I’m not.”

“I appreciate all your attention but I’m not into you. Why don’t you look in a mirror and say ‘it’s okay to want to touch men.’ I think that would help you.”

Etc

[–]blister333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bravo dude. That guy sounds like he has some serious problems of his own.

[–]izual19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Proper response would be too arm bar him and break both of his arms. Then proceed to laugh that he is going to have his mommy wiping his ass for the next couple of months.

[–]Nutman-maddog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a lose lose situation.

You don’t react, you kept frame but have shown how you tolerate disrespect.

You do react, you lose the frame but show that you don’t tolerate that shit.

I would’ve walked up to him calmly and confronted him about. Something like. “Is there a problem? There obviously is. I think you need to get the fuck over yourself. You’re acting like a bitch”. Try wind him up more, and get him to make a bigger dick of himself in front of everyone.

If he ran off straight after, he would’ve looked like a bitch anyway.

[–]FiveStarTendieDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If any of this is even remotely true I'm willing to bet the guy who poured a drink on you is reading TRP right now.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did great both times, i would have punch him but im gonna learn from you here.

Can only say that you gotta drop that fucker from your space.

[–]LavaPipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I probably would’ve ignored him right from the start. He sounds a like a douche who deserves to be exiled

[–]Hector_Castillo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand this obsession with not reacting. It doesn't make sense. Women dont care if you're some calm buddhist monk.

The soap comment was lame. Dont fight dumb dominance with intelligence. Wittiness isnt dominating if the other person doesn't care about that.

The drink thing was beyond badly handled. You throw that shit back at him or tell him to go outside so you can whoop his ass. That girl lost a lot of respect for you (and if anyone responds "who cares about the girl" OP is the one who asked how to respond socially, which implies he does care about social consequences).

You could have went about any of those a bunch of different ways and cooled him down early on. You never put up a fight verbally or physically so he kept pushing.

[–]alphasquatch50 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pride above all else, even life or freedom: One of us would have had to die.

[–]Chemlab187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A similar scenario happened to a friend of mine at a Waffle House at 3am after the bars closed and the Awful Waffle was full of drunk bar goers.

A table of guys was talking shit about him while he ate his meal and were talking about kicking his ass after he left the bar.

He handled it perfectly.

He proceeds to stand up on the table and give a ten minute fiery speech on how badass he is and how nobody was going to disrespect him in his town. He did what Male lions do, he roared louder than the other lions.
He then said he would be outside if anyone wanted to challenge his dominance. Before he made it to the door the 4 guys who had been talking shit, politely stopped him and chatted him up like they had been best friends since childhood.

Violence Avoided.

[–]Casd12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to flip the situation at the start, make him look like a poser for even fucking with you. For instance when he starts calling you out for not drinking as much as him, you have to roast him for drinking a lot. Say shit like "I know youre not gonna get any bitches, so stop trying to give Me whiskey dick." As he presses on, you have to say shit like "Why are you on my dick bro" tell him to stfu and stop killing the vibe. If he gets up, and say shit like "You wana fight? Come at me." cus they always do. Just mock him by repeating what he said in a more retarded tone. He should back off after that, just be ready to duck at a fist flying to your face, once you dodge it (or dont), he'll get kicked out.

However, if he still ends up pouring drink on your head, you Can clock him out, but that'll be counterintuitive as you'll get kicked out along with him (leaving the chick inside.) Instead, do this, chuckle and say outloud, "you got me" and then say this to the girl "I did the same thing to him the other day. Its a game we do" and when she asks, say "we do random things to embarrass each other" etc. And just like that, the awkwardness/tenseness is gone, and you can proceed.

Saying shit like "god you're making me sweaty", is good but by ignoring him, you are indicating that you're okay with being bullied.

[–]michaelmindset 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The other week I went out to a bar and I was waiting behind a dude in line to request a song. Dude turns around and makes eye contact with me, I hold...he instantly gets offended, “ so you think you’re a tough guy”...I just said “nah man just here to have a good time”....he progresses to escalate “I was in the military I could kick your ass”...at this point I just said “that’s cool man I appreciate your service, I’m going to walk away.”

In my head, I was like “what the fuck I just got here ”, Sometimes you have to walk away. So I walk away, and this dude FOLLOWS ME. Again, I held eye contact, tried to disarm through being friendly, but this guy was fucking stupid...and you can’t argue with stupid. So what I did was just went to the dance floor and danced my ass off.

Dude had no idea what to do, these guys who try to “out alpha” have no weapon that can beat fun energy. If you are having the most fun these guys have no chance.

Fun energy destroys “tough guy” energy.

[–]trppr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...until he just walks up to you and clocks you when you're not looking. Any combination of drunk, crazy, aggressive, or just being on a tilt that day could result in said behaviour. Never turn your back on an enemy.

[–]Ivabighairy1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Gotta love all of these beta keyboard warriors on this post.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Nice edit lol You’re hamstering so hard.

[–]hilu12 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah man my hamster is in overdrive

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A&A = agree & accept.

Jk idk how I would’ve reacted. You said he ran away so chasing after him is different than if he tried to fight you

[–]Retstortion -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You’re a wimp. You’d have to fight him. Why would you not? That’s embarrassing.