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Boring life syndrome (self.asktrp)

submitted by mikeyd03

Sup guys,

So I’ve digested the red pill. I moved across the country, got a new job, and am lifting, etc.

In regards to women. My issue is the boring life syndrome.

I do not drink, as I see no upside to it. I save money and preserve my health.

Contrary to popular belief bars are opened to make money, not get you laid. They induce anxiety that entices you to buy their product aka “booze”.

So I’m working full-time and working on a skill/side biz on the side. I go to a couple meetups here and there, but like I said boring.

I am capable of letting loose, dancing, all that stuff. But I am not one to document and post on social media. I feel that one go down that rabbit hole you become a slave to others opinions.

Kind of ironic I say that as I am asking how to overcome the perception of a boring life. But this is the nature of the beast, the grind. The grind is boring.

I am talking to a solid 9 off bumble. Hotter than any girl I’ve ever been with. I must admit I am falling into the “out of my league frame”. I am seeing other girls as well, so she’s not my only option.

How do I get out off this “out of my league”/“she’ll think I’m boring for being a sober work a lot type of guy.” Thanks for any input fellas. Honest feedback is welcome, rip me to shreds if you’d like.


[–]DaMrMeth28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Chance is that you’ll not like this recommendation, however, if the grind is boring you might not been grinding hard enough.

[–]moltenw6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you expand on what you mean by this?

[–]DaMrMeth14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your purpose (i.e. grind) should fulfill you, be joyful and all that. Therefore, when the grind is boring you either don’t grind enough or, possibly, chose the wrong purpose.

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

It's funny how in 2018, anyone who has their shit together, especially in finances, doesn't obsess over social media, isn't covered in tattoos is classified as boring. It's just a bad era for people of your mindset. You will not get quantity of women, but when they come you will get quality. There are some rare women out there who are desperate for the type of things you have to offer. They don't want to ride STD-laden dicks and have to bail their baby's daddys out of prison every other week. In 2018, they are rare but you will find them and they will find you. I say be fucking boring. You sound happy, so what else matters?

[–]jackandjill224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're absolutely right. He's just "together" but is missing other "pieces of the puzzle" unfortunately its a complicated period we live in. There are many ways you can easily remain a virgin.

[–]mikeyd0311 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Nah dude, I really believe to the core that the low key guys in their 20’s become the champs in their 40’s. Agree with all you said about the time we live in. Drinking and partying is a social norm that is hard to compete with, but I’m just being me.

[–]KidWonder10119 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with this.

The guys that are world leaders and financial champions in their 40s, were busy building their empire in their 20s instead of trying to fuck bitches and party every chance they got some free time.

Women get progressively worse as they age, for men it's somewhat of the opposite.

However, you should go out every few months or from time to time. Humans are social creatures, you'd start to appreciate it.

[–]makes_u_laugh 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lmao, this is the same mentality as the losers in high school thinking they’ll be ballers and get all the pussy in their late 20s.

Guess what? Woman are attracted to dopamine. It hasn’t changed since the cavemen era and it will be the same wen you hit 40

[–]mikeyd03 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I was a “loser” in high school. Best decision I ever made.

[–]iLLprincipLeS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just be yourself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're in a good place. For a long time, I felt like other people were so much more exciting than me. Over time I learned the cost of that excitement is that a lot of people who pull 3-4x my salary are up to their ass in debt. They've short-sold their homes during the recessions and pay ridiculous interest on loans they took. A friend of mine recently shelled out 10k for his wife's birthday party bash. I'm sure it was fun, but next day all you're left with is the bill. And you shit the food out the same whether it's $50 per roll sushi or the Trader Joe's $4.99 shit.

[–]moltenw1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Kindal lost me in the middle and the end, okay start.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I'm hungover. Basically, it's ok to be boring. Sometimes its expensive to be exciting and makes you broke.

[–]ForYourSorrows 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

True but there’s a happy medium. I used to be a hardcore partier and eventually realized it was empty and I was using that to try to fill “the hole”. That said, I became a hermit for awhile working on me and that, while helpful, isn’t a long term strategy. You’ve gotta get out there and interact with other humans at some point if you want a decent life in my opinion.

[–]DownyGall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is probably the most balanced comment on this page.

[–]criveros17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you don’t have to drink to have fun at bars and clubs.

[–]mikeyd035 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re right. I’ve danced my ass off and done karaoke stone cold sober. It wasn’t always like that though. Now though I feel more stingy about my time. Would I rather go dance at the club to meet girls or invest my time in something that give me freedom later in life. The latter is more appealing. If I go out it’s usually to blow off steam, not to meet women.

[–]room_3031 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seriously you might have a drink, let loose and have fun, then take a girl home -- what the fucks the problemo?

Hurr durr, the lord will see that I had a few drinks and will banish me No one is watching, stop being so safe and perfect. Let down the main gate and cross the moat.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sign up for a couple hobbies in addition to lifting, classes like martial arts or meditation or whatever, just to give you a few more things that make you interesting as well as occupy time on your calendar. Make friends and make an effort to keep an active social life. All of this will make you significantly less boring and you have the time and money to do it since you don’t drink.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Contrary to popular belief bars are opened to make money, not get you laid. They induce anxiety that entices you to buy their product aka “booze”.

If they existed to get you laid, the music wouldn't be insanely loud.

Kind of ironic I say that as I am asking how to overcome the perception of a boring life. But this is the nature of the beast, the grind. The grind is boring.

The result is amazing though. Show that.

I am talking to a solid 9 off bumble. Hotter than any girl I’ve ever been with. I must admit I am falling into the “out of my league frame”. I am seeing other girls as well, so she’s not my only option.

Solid 9 ON BUMBLE. Who knows in real life.

[–]mikeyd032 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Haha I like your style bro. Agree on that last point. Idk if you’ve been catfished before, but I am getting good at sorting the fatties from the dimes.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Idk if you’ve been catfished before

Yup... and always followed by "looks shouldn't matter" and "we can still be friends right!?!?"

Once was just spectacular.... her picture was ten years old and half the weight. What kind of fucked up reasoning in her head made this ok I just can't fathom.

[–]taa1a12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congrats, you're not a superficial moron. You know what that means? You'll match better with women that aren't looking for men entrenched in debauchery. Like someone else mentioned, that means less quantity but more quality. Wise trade.

[–]DirtJellyBeanz15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Listen, I'm that guy that DOES drink socially... I do go out a lot... I'm very out going and like to be funny. I make others laugh and enjoy to have a good time. The one things I'm struggling with now is getting OUT of that and being what you are.. Trust me, It's not as "fun" as it appears.. Anyone who doesn't work a suit and tie job wanna work a suit and tie job until they do that line of work and they wanna be a construction worker. Just enjoy yourself, from my POV you're doing very well. Just lift, do some hobbies that have women in it. Start doing some martial arts and just enjoy life, the simpler the better.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's all about the people you're hanging out with dude. I often volunteer to drive to have a good reason not to drink, if I really have to, I take an analcoholic drink. Second, you're doing well quitting social media. The only power women comes from validation, more often than not, I've seen girl who looked absolutely plain IRL look (and being treated)like runway models. If you can't see her social media she loses A LOT of power over you. Third, your problem seems to exist only in your mind bro, we just need to get what causes it. Again, I believe you're under heavy social pressure, evaluate your lifestyle and your social circle. Do they make you feel inferior ? Do they cause you to compare your life to theirs ? I've experienced something similiar in my life when I moved back home and I saw my friends posts from college, on instagram everyone seems to have a more interesting life than yours. Maybe you should try going literally monk mode, try spending a few days far from people (both physically and online), go camping, rent an house by the lake/ on the beach for a few days and see how it makes you feel. Do let me know if it's of any help. Best of luck bro.

[–][deleted]2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t go out. Like yourself I also don’t drink for a variety of reasons. It just isn’t for me. But I can take a pre workout and be the life of the party just as much as any drunk person. Mostly because I still enjoy the presence of my friends. If things get to “hectic” you can just drive home because you’re sober. Women also will be drawn to the fact you be yourself and compromise for no one. This is at least in my experience.

[–]WicKedmk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have your shit together , you're a role model and some people should look up to tbh , you'll find someone who admires such qualities because they're rare , keep grinding bro because legends are born from this age , I recommend listening to what steve Harvey said about wishing to buckle up and grind for success from a young age

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ6fZDo9LGE

[–]Pieisgood1863 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I’m the same way. Stopped partying/drinking as much in college and now I only grab a beer or two during office happy hours. Like the top comment mentioned, it’s definitely a “rare breed” and while your days can be boring, I have noticed that it attracts and keeps around the women who tend to have their shit together.

Some random things I’ve done to stay active: Look for trivia nights. Depending on how big your city is I’m sure there’s multiple places that hold these and in my experience there’s usually a few groups of girlfriends that go as well.

Go outside more. Even if that means going for a walk (bring your dog if you have one). Get a bike and ride around trails. I used to hate doing this but it has become one of the best ways to relax and meditate.

Sign up for other athletic courses. Boxing, mma, or even some type of yoga. Great alternative to lifting and there’s always girls in those classes, especially the latter.

[–]mikeyd031 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good advice. I do play basketball and run. Couldn’t be more right about fresh air, it’s healing. This girl I’m talking to seems to have her stuff together, however I’ve been proven wrong on more than one occasion of AWALT.

Granted, I have limiting beliefs (like the ones stated above) that get in the way of me pursuing girls like this.

[–]markinsinz7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thats the problem with all girls these days. The girl u r talkin to definitely may have her shit together n would make for a decent ltr but if had a slut phase in her past/used to tinder/party in her college days then some months later she'll be craving that ride again.

[–]mangoat12 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you go to trivia night by yourself?

[–]Pieisgood1861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No I’ll go with coworkers/friends. I’m not smart enough to win trivia alone.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

mma

[–]mikeyd034 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have been thinking about bjj.

[–]ChinoWreckingMachino2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bjj is super technical , and a great way to keep fit . You may start off getting tapped out constantly , but when you start to get better you'll catch whats called the bjj bug because you'll want to keep getting better . It keeps one humble and also has a great social element to it , Attending tournaments is a great way to put your new learned skill into practice in a pressured environment , and alot of these skills can translate into other areas of your life . Ontop of that you'll be in a position where you can legitimately fuck up most people on the street if you should ever get into an altercation, There's a great community in the BJJ world so it adds a new social dynamic to your life and women are attracted to guys who have a passion for something .

I would definitely recommend .

[–]room_3030 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

MMA - Meme sport.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is there something you tried to express with this?

[–]room_303-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, MMA is the catch phrase of the decade, every man and his dog is 'interested' is some BS 'sport' of two men trying to submit each other- now every kid thinks he will become Mcgregor if he trains in MMA gyms.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Spoken like a true retard who didn't even bother to enter a gym by himself, let aside even try himself out on the mats.

What about lifting? I bet you are the kind of faggot running around here, trying to find as many strawmen excuses to not start lifting as well. After all, we cannot all be the next Arnold schwarzenegger, eh?

I started the sport at 38. How do you think are my chances of entering the UFC? The vast majority of people who train aren't there to become famous, but because of the benefits you get from practicing it.

[–]room_3030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ok.

[–]criveros-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That sounds boring still

[–]2127301090 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I FEEL YOUR “PAIN”.

I’m only 18, a freshman in college and just as you, I don’t see the joy in doing any drugs as they aren’t beneficial to me, etc

In which I can see the shock on people’s face when I say I don’t drink and what not— it’s crazy to me how I have to explain why I am not an alcoholic

My advice to you and myself is to just get some hobbies aside from lifting and what not

[–]griz3lda1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't drink but I downplay it a lot. No need to go into a soliloquy about life strategy every time someone offers me a beer. I just say "I'm good, thanks." When people see a pattern, I just say I've nothing against it (a lie, haha) but it's not my jam.

[–]mikeyd030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Upvoted. Very solid advice on the social media.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I feel you man. I used to be a boozehound during college and since graduation I just have almost zero desire to drink. I haven't given it up completely but I probably go out once every 6-8 weeks.

You might have a harder time getting casual sex but like others have said the quality of girls you will meet will probably be better.

[–]thoughts_prayers 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I commend you on asking this question. Is your life boring, or are you boring?

If you're boring, I have nothing for you. If your life is boring, but you're an otherwise engaging person, then don't worry about dating.

If you're bored, then I recommend a hobby - something that helps with self-sufficiency such as auto repair, wood working, gardening, or electronic repair. Find something you have that's broken & fix it. Instead of taking your car for an oil change, do it yourself. Things like that.

[–]mikeyd030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Get some ambition while you bored”-Kdot

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't try to be something you're not as it will be transparent to her (especially as an HB9) that you are being fake to try and impress her which will make you seem weak and undesirable in her eyes.

Now try this mental exercise. Imagine the finest girl you've slept with and now imagine how her pussy felt if you were doing her with your eyes closed. Now imagine the ugliest girl you've fucked and how her pussy felt if you had your eyes closed. It all felt the same right? Whether you had your eyes open or not, whether she was hot or not, pussy doesn't really feel different from one another (unless you've got a loose cannon on your rod... I mean hands). So what does it matter that this chick is hot? Her pussy feels like every other woman's, there are a million+ other women out there as hot as her and some even hotter, you have options and don't need her and the worse that could happen is she thinks your boring, you don't excite her or give her the tingles, and she doesn't fuck you and you continue being you and fucking other women. The worst case scenario sounds really mild to me.

So don't change what's been working so far, have abundance mentality, and realize that this one isn't special and doesn't belong on a pedestal and treat her/act as such.

[–]Fox_Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What classifies you as boring life sydrome? Does getting wasted every Friday and Saturday and hitting the clubs with your Jersey Shore boys make you life interesting?

You should have some hobbies / life goals that make you interesting. You don't need to be a party guy to have an interesting life.

Get some life goals and you won't be asking yourself this question, tbh sounds like you don't even have a job.

[–]that_italia_guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can enjoy more culture in your life if you can find, orchestra symphonies, dance/ballet performances, and concerts/jazz/guitar players to go to, local talent or not super famous tallent. Also cool events, such as car shows, rib fest's, craft beer/cooking events. A lot of this will cost about $55 CAD max, but typically less to attend. It will add more culture to your life and leave you with more memories and your life wont just be the grind. It won't be boring. I'm not to sure how big a city you live in but if it's possible this is what I would recommend and start looking into.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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