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Last month I hit a couple bumps in the road back to back that left me in a “low point” (LTR ended, close friend had to move out of state, lost my motorcycle).

Since then I’ve sworn to solely focus on myself and improve to keep my mind off negative thoughts. Recently I picked up meditation and have been consistently making sure I have a session at least once a day for the past month. It has been monumental in helping me keep and improve my frame.

As of late my work schedule has been hectic so I missed a few days the past week. This morning I woke up early and managed to throw in a 15 minute session. Around the half way mark I noticed I felt different, even slightly teared up at one point but disregarded it.

Soon after finishing I immediately broke down crying for 10 minutes. It’s been 2 years since the last time I did. I’m not sure what I was feeling but it was a mix between melancholy and bliss. I’ve never experienced something like this before.

I’m unsure what to make of it. I could use some insight from anyone who has experienced something similar.


[–]PM_ME_YOUR_HOE42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle? In the foreword something similar happens to him after releasing himself from his ego which circulated tons of negative depressing thoughts. He basically explains it to be like an overnight sudden enlightenment, where form then on he was extremely present to the moment at all times form then on. I myself have never felt like crying but when you detailed your feelings of melancholy and bliss I immediately thought you may have become extremely present and are now feeling a pure happiness of just Being. I personally have felt this too on and off, it really is kinda indescribable; one detail I've found myself when feeling this way is feeling a sort of love of everything around, especially in nature. I know this may sound kinda whacky for anyone to read but if you read The Power of Now it 'll probably help you make sense of your feelings better :).

[–]FallenVelocity[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Haven’t read it yet but I’ll definitely look into picking it up

[–]jefferson_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a great book.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This book changed everything for me. presence in a world of past pain and future worries is an amazing feeling, it's just sometimes you need someone else to tell you to think a bit differently.

a new earth is pretty good read/audiobook if you get that too.

[–]mystery_man_199615 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It happens dude, even in strong men, we hide our emotions because no one cares and everyone judges. It's alot easier for women since it's their norm move but reality men are as emotional but can't let it out because it shows "weakness" so to say. But always remember you always get stronger by the day and focus on improving yourself. Hopefully you will be way above all. And you really should of posted on r/meditation but anyways ignore any comments saying stop being a bitch, it's normal don't worry.

[–]menial_optimist10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Things have happened that's going to take time to get used to. It's okay to let it out and despite what the "lol faggot stop crying" comments here which scream lack of experience, its normal. Sometimes guys hold in sadness until a point comes where the bottled up emotion is released. Release is natural and better. I bet you felt better now that you have gotten it out of your system.

Don't run away from your emotions. Accept and understand them and why you feel them when you do. Acting like they don't exist is unhealthy.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This happened to me the first few times I went into shavasana (sp?) during yoga.

Just because negative emotional displays in front of partners (or potentials) only hurts your game doesn't mean you aren't a human with a human psyche and human emotions.

And keeping your "head right" is as basic a need as food and shelter. As men we're expected to process our emotions differently, and out of sight of women, but we still must process them. Trauma is real, and you don't get to choose which things are and aren't "manly" enough for you to allow yourself to admit that they've hurt you. You lost three things brought positivity to your life, it's okay to be sad about that.

Understanding that, the rub is simple - you must deal with your emotions, and you must do that in a way that doesn't harm your game.

A good buddy and I get together once a week, have beer and whiskey and just fucking vent, it feels great. Find a way to work it out, sounds like meditation is doing just that.

[–]joesmith10012 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I recently completed a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation course, and there were many moments like this. You could go from pure joy in the morning to complete despair in the afternoon. I teared up in the meditation hall once, but was able to hang on until I got back to my room to let go and cry.

The teacher talks a lot about “equanimity”, finding a balance between pleasure and suffering. This is a central goal of Vipassana, and is meant to help put you on the path to enlightenment. My take is that those of us new to it are completely unbalanced, and this manifests itself as the emotional roller coaster.

Further reading if interested

[–]globst1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the mind illuminated (a samatha-vipassana) form of meditation Culdasa (the author) describes these moments as "purifications". Effectively what is happening here is that you've started to reach a stage where you are able to concentrate to a reasonable level that there is a bubbling of unconscious thoughts.

I experienced what you experienced. As others have said, let it come let it go. This is a positive thing!

[–]dumsaint1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is quite normal. Do not place too much weight on this station you've reached. You'll reach more if you continue down this path but all of them are to be met with equanimity and choiceless observance.

Many meditative languages have a word for this happenstance. In my practice it's called a sankhāra and it is arising as a sensation vedanā that one should be impartial to.

You simply observe it and as it's released- in this case crying but it could be released as a pain in the back, a pleasurable sensation in the whole of the body or a tingling or a heat that pervades the core or any number of sensations- you have ventured that much closer towards liberation from the mental constructs instilled within you, within us all really, that have obscured the truth of existence. What that truth is the individual experiences and processes as they proceed.

So think of it as a purifying moment that will continue to happen until such time you reach... that something they speak of. These purifying moments occur when the mind is still and your observance of these sensations is equanimous. The less imbalance in the mind the more these sankharās arise to the surface from the deep subconscious well that too often controls us from a deeply programmed root; and a root system not one of our choosing. The crying could be from your recent relationship anguish or a past pain from years back. It's not up to you what arises. It's up to you how you face it.

In essence meditation is a psychological deprogramming technique to shed away the skins placed upon you. In the end you may discover you never had skin to begin with. Good luck on your journey friend. Metta (loving-kindness).

Edit: I forgot to mention this has happened to me multiple times. Its cathartic element is only met in the lightness it provides by its opposite: uncontrollable and joyous laughter arising from nowhere I can pinpoint. Again, though, these sensations are to be met with a detached awareness and an appreciation of its impermanence. They arise and then they pass away; as all things do. What's left after these sensations pass away is the continued stillness of your mind observing your meditation object. That is the process. Nothing more.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you sleeping poorly? One of the easiest ways to get (deeper) into a depressive mood is to not sleep enough.

On the other hand, one rare yet interesting side-effect of meditation is that you are more susceptible to awe, which can be a kicker in the "crying direction"

[–]ToiletPaperPringles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it helps, crying is beneficial for your health.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good, maybe you're just emotionally drained and had a realisation. sometimes the world is a shitty place but its better out than in mate.

I had a meditation session that ended up in quite a similar aspect. i ended up coming to a realization that all of us men are the disposable gender and that's pretty much why the world shits on you when you dont act.

good luck overcoming whatever pain and suffering is holding you back bro.

[–]Lion-Slicer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happens to me too. It can really come out if I microdose mushrooms that day.

[–]DVidojkovic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

it was a mix between melancholy and bliss

What the fuck lool

I've never had something like this happen to me, but when I ended my first LTR and the last time I got heartbroken before I found out about /r/trp I cried quite a lot for my LTR and cried once after I got heartbroken because I just soaked up all the emotions and didn't show shit even when I was talking with the girl about our "thing" I held my emotions. Crying after you soak in emotions for some time feels like you've been reborn, but that has to come naturally.

I have a problem hiding my emotions when arguing with my parents, if I'm too invested in the argument I end up tearing up at the end, but by then I'm done with the argument and I'm in the bathroom drinking water or in my room.

Music definitely helps btw.

[–]D_Sandstorm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was recently in a dark place and didn't know who I was or what I wanted anymore despite working on my goals for some time. I had feelings of regret, felt lost, felt depressed, felt relieved from the constraints of needing to do something, and mostly felt my primal urges/needs lifting me out of bed (eating, masturbating, using the bathroom). My biggest problem was that I got so caught up in work and my goals and this thing we called life that I never made time for myself to actually feel how I felt and when I was feeling down, it was that much harder to "feel".

I tried meditating and accepted my feelings. Taking it all in. Every time I do it I get teary (haven't broken down or anything like that yet) but it feels just like the way you described it. Sad but happy. I'm still not an expert on this but it's a good thing. I feel like I can finally be at peace with myself emotionally. Continue what you're doing. It's definitely healthier to let it go and not dwell and bottle things up. Sometimes we all get lost in what life throws at us and trying to be something/accomplish goals but forget at the end of the day that you're human and need to feel your feelings to really be at peace with yourself.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What kind of pussy shit is this? Fuck off.

[–]Hide_yo_girl-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

20 years without crying here ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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