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295

What's the beta habit you had the hardest time giving up? (self.asktrp)

submitted by micronix_eu

For me, it was searching validation from people - especially women.


[–]koedeloe369 points370 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Over analyzing.. as soon as you give no fucks life becomes so much better

[–]BustaSlug40 points41 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I feel over analyzing is wrong... but the fact that I do it, means that I’ve already lined up all my evaluations of possible outcomes. It’s a lot of wasted mental energy but I’m a thinker anyways, and I never get that deer-in-headlights because I’ve pre-thought for most situations ..

[–]EdvardMunch 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude we should be friends. I cant make life decisions for shit because they're all good, all bit bad, and im smart enough to know ill adapt to any situation so it really doesnt matter but maybe I should shoot higher but I dont because that higher is kind of shallow and giving my life to serve others for a higher order would be better but im not ready to do that yet so.... my life is one of great potentials but little use because im caught in analysis paralysis.

[–]ZenAckley 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same but what exactly do you think of instead?

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Winning (not in a Charley Sheen way, ugg).

Simply kicking ass at life. Mastery. That is a very worthy goal.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is easily the thing i mostly struggle with. I have faced many obstacles and through all of them i did it my way. Its hard to go back to my memory and say here is where i didn't give a fuck and it paid off. I cant say i never tried.

​

Care to explain this concept?

[–]Psychological_Radish125 points126 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

'Pleaser' behavior lies at the heart of most of my failures. It isn't so much a habit as an ingrained worldview.

From age 11 on I grew up in a single mother household as the only male; my father was largely uninvolved and disinterested during my formative years. In such an environment, boys naturally grow to view the feminine as a Godlike source of authority to be pleased. Combined with the fact that I am a more agreeable person in general, I simply never learned the assertive, masculine dominance necessary to attract women. Instead, I always got rebuffed with gems such as "you're such a nice boy" and "you will make a great, supportive boyfriend one day."

Letting go of pleaser behavior is incredibly tough. You really have to "unlearn what you have learned" as Yoda said.

[–]rn788932 points33 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Me and my buddy talk about this all the time. We were both raised to be the worlds doormat. Now we are adults with wives and realizing we were sold a lie. The worst part is, pleasing people is what feels natural and good. Sticking up for ourselves is extremely uncomfortable.

[–]The_other_bj6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Man oh man. I see so much of me here, HELP!

[–]rn78893 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We are coming out of it slowly. A good place to start is by not apologizing when asking for something. Just don’t be a dick. Once you see people respect you more you’ll start to like it and go from there. And if someone calls you mean or a dick, ignore the initial impulse to explain why you aren’t or figure out why they think you’re mean. Eventually you’ll quit caring.

[–]rn78890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We are coming out of it slowly. A good place to start is by not apologizing when asking for something. Just don’t be a dick. Once you see people respect you more you’ll start to like it and go from there. And if someone calls you mean or a dick, ignore the initial impulse to explain why you aren’t or figure out why they think you’re mean. Eventually you’ll quit caring.

[–]Fuk_Boonyalls4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

How'd did you go about sorting that out for yourself?

[–]Revenant22111 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can’t speak for OP but I also have trouble with this. The way I’ve been correcting it is when I catch myself being too “nice” I ask myself if the other person would do the same for me. Now, I’m not treating it like would that person EVER do the same for me but would they do it as “effortlessly” as I do. Usually the answer is no.

For example, years ago if I went to 7/11 for a Gatorade after a night out with my roommates I’d get one for them too even if I hadn’t seen them. But if I do the “check” I mentioned before, it was plain as day that they wouldn’t just get gatorades for everyone without being asked. If someone else was up and around when they went to the store they might ask but they wouldn’t just get them automatically.

It’s not mean to not think of everyone else all of the time. Most people out there don’t do that. It’s not spiteful, it’s normal.

Edit: also, it’s important to realize that saying no to a request is 100% reasonable. It’s not selfish or rude, that’s why it’s a request and not a command. If the other person does get offended then the request wasn’t a request in the first place.

[–]alittletoosmooth7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Regarding the Gatorade thing. I think you may be over thinking it, but it's probably in your best interest to correct for the past. With your bros (assuming you're friends with your roommates) I think you can just do whatever you feel normal about. The problem comes when you are doing stuff to "gain points" with peeps. For example, last month I offered to help a good friend of mine move. He has a pregnant wife, and no male family members that are able bodied. I know with 100% certainty that he would not ever offer to help me. If I asked him he might (60/40 yes/no), but he's just not that kind of friend to me. Doesn't mean I can be that for him. Now, if I ever needed someone to talk to or someone to run a financial/investment idea by, he would offer me as much help as I needed and then some. The point is just to follow your gut. If you don't think your roommates deserve to be treated well, then don't do it. But don't just not do it because they might not reciprocate directly in that same fashion.

[–]thoughtlow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Really great comment men.

[–]Psychological_Radish3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Years of rejection, friendzoning, and heartbreak at the hands of two GFs led me to believe that there had to be a better way. The failure motivated me to seek the truth, which eventually led me to here. This forum and books like The Rational Male made things click, but I was already pretty fed up with losing and taking so much humiliation.

I like to believe that I understand my weaknesses well enough to keep them under control, but it's still a struggle sometimes. I'm still sorting it out, I think.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

speaking of mothers, love em or hatem where would we be without them? Nows thats an incel comment right there. Anyways my point is when it comes to assertive masculine dominance this is not something you can teach. You need to be able to enforce boundaries. Inner and outter.

​

in no more mr nice guy he uses the example of a rigid line where people will push you back. The lesson here is to just WATCH yourself allow someone to push you back and see how far you will go until you physically stop him or verbally but the point is to say i dont want this anymore. When you reach this point you can assert dominance. It doesn't mean you have to be built bigger than this person but it wouldn't be wise to verbally abuse a cop or your boss lets say. Just watch yourself.

[–]ias180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have almost a similar case. I grew up in a disturbed parental conditions where I had an agressive father who was always unsatisfied. As a result, he was disconnected with the process of nurturing me on any behavioral or functional masculine virtues and he was not that of a role model. I was then nurtured by my mother and older sister which reflected on my personality of being the nice guy always. Now that I am acquainted with TRP and experienced friendzoning, being dumped and people giving me shit, I am trying to dump the pleaser personality , saying no more often and trying not to do things i am not asked for.

[–]Lightways434340 points341 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Trying to rationalize shitty behavior from women

[–]richboy29771 points72 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Trying to rationalize shitty behavior from women

Agreed. Similar but different. Tolerating shitty behavior from women.

[–]AshyBoneVR42 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Both.

[–]mrheh14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck, still working on this. This is the hardest thing to give up IMO.

[–]imtheoneimmortal8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

like what?

[–]Lightways4349 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Anything you’d consider disrespect, it’s up to you to draw the line.

[–]imtheoneimmortal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try to see this prospective, if women don't do shitty behavior we can't improve and be stronger right?
So they kinda help us

[–]Lightways4341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re right. Ultimately it strengthens our frame.

[–]The__Tren__Train5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this

[–]LuckyRedPill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How did you do that? That's something that gets me every time

[–]Lightways4341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’d say once you internalize AWALT as a guiding principle in your interactions with women, it won’t come as a surprise when things go sideways. I still struggle with it at times though..

[–]prrraveen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck, I didn't know this one

[–]bcitman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you respond to shitty behaviour. Like someone raising their voice at you in public?

[–]flashcash12 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

Running my mouth to show off and brag about all my accomplishments.

[–]BustaSlug27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don’t tell a first date the shit that you pride in yourself. She is already going to imagine you as amazing if you just build attraction. You can let her in on the real you later

[–]KidWonder10118 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Brooooo I have #2 as well. I wonder if there's a connection between men who need TRP & Maladaptive daydreaming.

[–]mickey__7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

what can we do for #2

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

2 is not "beta" behavior, it is a personality defect. Or maybe you just don't know anyone interesting enough to keep your interest.

1 is much more on point.

You could have other leadership traits even if you daydream a lot.

[–]palmtreedreams906 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Number 1 is my issue as well

[–]LifeIsASimulationOK259 points260 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Catching oneitis once I know they're into me and want more. I still call myself a faggot to this day

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No adult woman will ever love you like mama did.

And those that grew up without mama love need to be extra strong.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

I needed to hear this

[–]D4rkr4in41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

faggot

[–]Andgelyo18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t worry, you don’t have to call yourself a faggot anymore. I’ll do it for you, faggot.

🙃

[–]Freedom__Fighter9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The struggle is real. Gotta keep practicing abundance

[–]Teeheewoz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for reminding me of this

[–]Aarxnw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you are a faggot. Maybe we’re all faggots. Faggots and proud!

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interestingly male gays form the least attachment to their partners from all combinations of sexes and sexualities. They are the most promiscuous and thereby being attached quickly and going for mate monopoly is literally the most hetero male thing, evolutionarily speaking (and empiricaly)

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

how do you give more without getting more invested?

[–]streetlecture178 points179 points  (98 children) | Copy Link

Dopamine abuse.

I fucking love smoking pot. Been doing it heavy since college.

It's a constant struggle to quit. I've come to learn I abuse it because it allows me to be content with my shitty life. Kills all motivation and disrupts the discipline I've built up.

I've been trying to quit for years.

[–]OfficerWade17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pro tip: You wont quit until you have too and if no one is going to make you, you cant be helped by any one either.

I struggled with pot and found out no one really cares except my employer and on some level they dont want me to get caught. Get fired and lose a product or whatever.

​

What made me finally quit? After years of cheating drug tests and smoking in my car in dark alley ways at night hiding from anyone? I just had enough of it. I was focused on my job, my family, my mission in life and this habit just fell away. Eventually it will happen for you, so dont focus on quitting focus on the bigger picture.

[–]KidWonder10117 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah man, I'd be in a way better situation right now if I didn't start heavily using pot. All that instant dopamine ruined my work ethic, ambition, and rational thinking.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No, you did that. The pot was just your tool of choice.

Could have been any number of things. Fuck, look at the freaks on /nofap. lol Don't even need a drug.

[–]KidWonder10112 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it was definitely the weed, I don't get what you're exactly trying to imply. Instant dopamine, whether it's weed or porn will become harmful if utilized more than moderately.

Yes, I inherently made the choice of smoking marijuana, but marijuana is what caused the symptoms I experienced.

Before I started smoking weed heavily, I was a much more lively person. I was mentally sharper and could articulate my points extremely well. I developed a "brain fog" in a sense with all that marijuana clouding my brain and it definitely slowed my mental processing down.

[–]xgozax9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t know what he was trying to say but what I would say is your marijuana use was a symptom of a greater underlying cause within you. It was your coping mechanism. At this point in time perhaps it’s developed into an addiction but very well could have started to avoid something subconsciously. At least this scenario is a very common occurrence but perhaps for you you just real liked weed that’s also a possibility.

[–]virtualvirgincake2-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The reddit circle jerk that its never the drugs it just 'brought something out in you' needs to go.

Most if not all drugs are beta af (including alcohol), and should be used minimally and sporadically. They limit your full potential

[–]xgozax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

it didn’t bring out something in you, you were already fucked up you just used substance abuse to cope and avoid which is beta.

[–]Xevalous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know exactly what you mean. And you're right. I don't care what anyone says, weed is definitely addictive and it does have negative side effects. The brain fog is a big one, so is never being able to remember anything. I quit smoking about five months ago and I'm still getting over the brain fog.

[–]iwviw6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Social media. Shitty Food. Porn. Alcohol. Gaming. All beta dopamine releases..... Instead of fucking. Combat. Sport. Sex. Competition etc which is alpha

[–]streetlecture3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have 0 social media since August. Highly recommend. The only competition should be yourself.

Porn is non existent. I nofap (not religiously).

I need to be better on a few other things. But adopting those have x10 my life.

[–]iwviw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing wrong with social I think not having social makes you look like a weird outsider. Just spending all day on it is beta. Some people go on social media and that is their “social activity” for the day vs going out and chillen with humans in real life.

Most being social is really important. Real life social.

Banging real girls is being social.

[–]T-P-T-W-P5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I was this way in college and generally managed it pretty well but as I changed my behavior to red more and more, it began to cause me anxiety. Like when I smoke now, I’m on edge because the bottom line is I could be doing something more productive or to better myself. I’d start with quitting smoking alone, which is dumb anyway as being high is much more enjoyable with friends. Then I would transition into only smoking in situations where it will only be a positive experience such as with a girl you’re piping or during a football party with friends and pizza. Weed isn’t a purely toxic thing and you honestly don’t need to quit completely if it’s something you genuinely don’t think you can. Just cut way back and treat it like a drug you’re doing rather than medication for your shitty surroundings.

[–]streetlecture3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I really like this approach.

Smoking alone is by far the least productive habit I have. Cutting that would improve my situation a lot.

[–]The_other_bj2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I smoke barely regularly and I actually feel so much better doing it alone. In certain groups I get so far out of my head it’s not even funny....start thinking everyone is plotting on me or something. Nope would rather smoke alone

[–]The__Tren__Train19 points20 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

tren

[–]DaftOdyssey11 points12 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

What about it? Can you expand more

[–]The__Tren__Train37 points38 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I just love tren

[–]DaftOdyssey2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Hmm I see, where do you even get some now in days?

[–]The__Tren__Train3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

it's easy af if u are in the US or the UK

[–]DaftOdyssey3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm in the US, how "easy" is it?

[–]The__Tren__Train24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

af

[–]DaftOdyssey2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Damn, if I'm interested where should I look first

[–]The__Tren__Train20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

follow your heart

it will show you dae way

[–]eaazzy_130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The gym in your city with the most free weights. Go in the morning and ask the biggest dude there

[–]empatheticapathetic17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This guy just loves tren

[–]phuckyothots1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

And caber

[–]The__Tren__Train4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

ive never really had progesterone issues from tren tbh.. deca on the other hand..

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

nothing worse than "deca dick."

[–]Aarxnw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh man what is that

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

too much deca or not enough test to balance it out = ED.

[–]Random_throwaway_0000 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

https://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbeastmotivation.com%2Ffile%2F2014%2F01%2F68480_719131041450509_1279299139_n.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbeastmotivation.com%2Fmy-precious-gains%2F&docid=xLNtgcGAXWM00M&tbnid=g1bA3CRXpZDDTM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwig4p6xjpveAhWK54MKHQ41Ch8QMwg_KAAwAA..i&w=539&h=605&bih=938&biw=1920&q=my%20precious%20gains&ved=0ahUKEwig4p6xjpveAhWK54MKHQ41Ch8QMwg_KAAwAA&iact=mrc&uact=8

[–]The__Tren__Train8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

tren is injectable masculinity

[–]markinsinz77 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man u really are ur username

[–]turousa 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

What side effects does it have?

[–]The__Tren__Train1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

for me? lots of strength... temper is slightly shorter, but nothing serious.

[–]turousa 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I googled it and it sounds like a better steroid. Does it make one's balls shrink?

[–]The__Tren__Train0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

all steroids make ur balls shrink

[–]Random_throwaway_0000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Massive reddit karma gains

[–]mrheh0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Where do you get it?

[–]eaazzy_130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Golds gym locker room

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're talking about psychological addition, not pot specifically.

That whole "dopamine" crap is crap. There's nothing wrong with liking life. If we din't have that dopamine hit from pleasant experiences, why would we even move?

Find something you like that is beneficial, do it, a lot. Become a fucking master at it.

ENJOY it.. Enjoy the dopamine, and the benefits that mastery brings.

If you sit around playing with your dick all day (or pot, whatever), you need help that TRP cannot provide.

Being addicted to one thing that brings you nowhere, brings you nowhere.

Much more efficient to work towards something, than be scared and avoid something (dopamine? wtf?).

All roads lead to Rom. Where do the roads AWAY from it lead? Find a road leading somewhere good,

not constantly running away from something bad. That is no direction at all.

[–]virtualvirgincake22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is what I say to guys who love smoking, its fine to smoke though if you get to a point where it kills your motivation and you are wasting time, it needs to go.

[–]streetlecture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

💯

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

mannnn. right here. every time i quit i can't sleep. never been able to make it past 2 weeks because of that. thinking cbd oil will help with that.

​

kinda sucks bc i'm really not into the getting high thing too much any more, i really only use it to sleep.

[–]drink_tea_with_me6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is exactly where i was too. you just have to suck it up. you'll adjust. obviously ween off until you're only taking 1 hit before bed, then you just gotta quit. if not now, when? i recommend hitting the weights hard af (hopefully you're already doing this), it'll help you sleep

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You gotta do something to replace that with something POSITIVE.

There's another useless addiction on the road ahead unless you have a goal.

[–]BustaSlug1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was me. You don’t need to get high, though it’s fun, but you need to relax and sleep.... Try a sleep aid you like. I hated Diphenhydramine (Benadryl/NyQuil) but I liked melatonin. Get your ass to sleep without weed first. Then ditch the sleep aid which is easier than ditching weed

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hm.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know I am late to the party but you sound like me years ago. I quit cold turkey one day. No real secret other than you have to want it real bad, it is gonna suck somewhat but really it is all in your head.

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

this was me until a few months ago.

Love it, but it hasn't done a whole lot to help me imo

man it's fun tho

[–]DaftOdyssey2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit! I have ADD, which basically means my dopamine levels are so low, but haven't taken any meds for it and have only started smoking pot a couple of months of ago, a lot recently with my top plate. This explains why my motivation for school and life dropped so low.

Thanks for this man. I didn't know pot did that to my brain. It effects me even more since I'm not being treated for my ADD. I will now quit definitely until I'm done with university.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

ADD does NOT mean you have low dopamine levels. Please do not spread false information about medical conditions on the Internet.

You can have ADD as the result of low dopamine, because ADD is simply a combination of symptoms, but there are an incredibly large number of potential causes.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ADD does NOT mean you have low dopamine levels. Please do not spread false information about medical conditions on the Internet.

Very true.

Also... trying to avoid dopamine at all costs is equally as misguided.

We take pleasure from reaching a goal. Work on a goal. Get your dopamine there! Many goals really.

Concentrating on running away from something, is just constantly running away from life's bogymen. Get good at something (several somethings) that are good for you.

Dopamine galore, and fully beneficial.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely! Happy to hear another voice of reason.

[–]DaftOdyssey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my case I do have low dopamine that's why I get distracted a lot and have a difficult time focusing on what's important because I tend to do things that "raise" my dopamine or feed my brain more of it. That's why I have ADD.

If it came across that it was the other way around, that wasn't my attempt.

[–]lordkingalpha-5 points-4 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

First of all weed doesn't kill your motivation, you kill your motivation. If you're a lazy fuck then you're still gonna be a lazy fuck if you smoke weed. If you can't be a motivated successful person and still smoke weed that's your problem not weed. Personally for me it help me be more motivated enhances workouts,books and sex. (Take responsibility for your own selfs, stop trying to blame it on something)

[–]DrizzlyShrimp369 points10 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Anybody who says smoking pot makes them a more productive person is either deluding themselves or completely full of shit.

I feel like the fact that you are getting so angsty is not because you are right but because you are trying to convince yourself that you can be a productive stoner.

I smoke pot from time to time, but not frequently enough to call myself a stoner. And I only smoke if I’m satisfied with my day.

Also, nobody here blamed weed for their own failures. They are blaming themselves for smoking weed, which is still taking responsibility for their problems.

[–]lookoutitscaleb 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I used to smoke an oz a week easy in college.
I was a very lazy person.

I now work my ass off daily.

I was working my ass off daily and partying every night to unwind from the day. Made the next day harder (not getting enough rest, spending too much money on partying, dehydrated, etc...)

Now when I clean, make music, or write I like to take a tiny hit of weed. It enhances the experience and helps me relax so I can focus on the task without being sidetracked by everything else I need to do but am unable to do at the time.

I just recently started this up, and really only do it to be more productive. Instead of going out and spending money on alcohol to socialize I stay home and work on my hobbies. Take a small hit, helps me deal with my anxiety. It's not the BEST way to do it I'm sure. Meditating, yoga and gym help. I do all of those as well. Small steps.

I would say I've been much more productive staying in and working on my hobbies taking a small toke rather than wasting money going out and partying all the time.

Weed probably isn't the reason why I'm more productive but it does enhance the experience which makes it more pleasurable. Everyone is different and unique though, and just like anything, it can become a crutch. Weed isn't the best teacher but there is plenty there to learn from it.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a far, far more balanced view than people scared to death of...

WEED! MASTURBATION! DOPAMINE!! all sorts of excuses they have for not doing anything productive.

All of them are fully enjoyable and healthy in moderation.

Shit, even sports can be a harmful addiction, work too. Anything taken to an extreme.

AND they can all enhance our lives, if used in the right balance.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel like the fact that you are getting so angsty

Here you are speaking only about yourself.

Your addiction... your personality deficit, is your problem. Not pot.

Plenty of people here ARE blaming pot for their OWN failures. Along with so many other things.

Pot can't MAKE you more productive, or less... only you can. It is not about pot, sports, porn, work, masturbation... those are all activities.

What do you need to be PRODUCTIVE. Enjoying yourself is also productive. Working hard is also productive.

Everything in moderation and with balance is most efficient. Strop trying to blame an activity for failure at life.

Those that do are giving away their own power.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp362 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It can make you less productive my guy. Your fancy voodoo feng shui kale-eating speech does not change any of that. There is tangible evidence that weed reduces your motivation and efficiency.

[–]InstigatingDrunk0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

a buddy of mine produces music while he's high and listens to it again while sober.. you tell me dude. is he being "productive"? as far as i'm concerned he's using it to enhance his hobby.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp365 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

a buddy of yours =/= 99.9% of people.

Most people who smoke pot spend their high jerking off, watching the office, and eating shit food.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Most people who smoke pot spend their high jerking off, watching the office, and eating shit food.

So Much Projecton. You need to meet more people, because you're just talking about yourself.

Pot, or whatever.

I've known very successful businessmen that were addicted to smack. Also losers that killed themselves on it.

All up to the person how they use the tools at hand.

Masturbation, porn, dopamine (ooo scary!) is no different. Same with sports and hard work. Kill yourself if you don't have a balance. Quickly or slowly.

Find something worthy to work for, and learn to balance responsibility with pleasure. THAT is key.

Not the tools we use for those endeavors.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not projection, observation. I grew up with stoners. I've seen it all. Most people who accept weed without dismissing it because it's a drug will usually say that although it's not (that) bad for your health, it does make you lose motivation and productivity. There are COUNTLESS attestation on this site of people saying that it indeed does make them less productive. It's also scientifically proven and backed up by legitimate data. Your anecdotal evidence means absolutely nothing to me in the face of actual data.

I agree that weed in moderation is fine. Balance. I smoke from time to time. It's fine. But there is a scary amount of people who fall into the hole of fucking laziness and nothingness that weed provides, sacrificing their best self.

[–]streetlecture0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't have a clear mission in life.

That is my issue. Thanks for the comment.

[–]InstigatingDrunk-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I totally agree with you on that point. I'm just trying to make a point that it is possible to be productive with weed, however, as you pointed out, 99.99 % will do just that lol.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

99.99 % will do just that

WAY over exaggerated. 99.9% of the losers here complaining about pot (or anything else) as an excuse for their failure, OK.

If they stopped pot, they'd just find something else to sink ALL their energy into and complain about THAT.

It's a personality defect, that is repairable. Not the addiction itself.

[–]InstigatingDrunk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol..

[–]lordkingalpha 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

Sheep

[–]DrizzlyShrimp361 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I know you don’t have anything to prove to me, but you’re proving my point nonetheless, enjoy your high

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is completely counter-productive.

Your point is not proven in the least.

Didn't you complain about people being (in your opinion) defensive? Look in a mirror dude.

Just because you've never found a place where you can enjoy something (weed for example) without sinking into uselessness, doesn't mean others can't enjoy (that thing) in a perfectly healthy way, as part of a very productive life.

The focus of an addiction is just a symptom of a deeper problem. Personality defect. The thing you're addicted to is not bad, it's the lack of GOOD in your life that is the problem.

Self control to keep a healthy balance is key. No amount of silly shaming attempts, aimed at those that can deal with life efficiently, are going to help you. (thought that might be an unhealthy addiction itself). That just keeps you stuck in the same, inefficient blame game.

The problem is INSIDE.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How am I getting defensive? I am simply stating the fact that most stoners are not capable of being productive while high and less capable of being productive when sober.

I've been stoned and productive before. I went to the gym high. Read a book high. Painted high. All of that stuff. But the truth is, most of the time, I am not nearly as productive as I can be. And yet I still consider myself a productive high person, because the average stoner is so laughably lazy and not productive that even though I don't find myself productive when I'm high, I'm still on the productive side of the spectrum. It's that bad.

And I never said anything about addiction so I don't know why you're mouthing off with that.

[–]lordkingalpha 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

You are not proving anything shut up you little Wiesel. Don't try to tell me how to live. Weed helps me like it or not idgaf what you say. You can do what you want with your life. But don't try to tell me what's good for me, you aren't me. I am me.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp361 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are legit too cute. Keep it going bud! You’re doing amazing!

[–]lordkingalpha 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

And I belong everywhere. Go take your belittle shit somewhere else. Kiss my feet

[–]DrizzlyShrimp361 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Username does not check out lol

[–]InstigatingDrunk2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

People are retarded and have no idea what personal responsibility is. Of course if you're a loser with no goals and you smoke weed it will amplify your loser attributes. However if you actually have a solid life and want to use it recreationally once in a while then you're probably fine.

[–]lordkingalpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking hell. Thank you! Finally someone who has common sense.

[–]Bingbongfly6 points7 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Disagree. Pot makes it ok to be bored. Bored and dont have some pot? I'll be doing something slightly productive. Bored and have some pot? I'll netflix and chill.

Maybe not for everyone, but this is most likely the majority.

[–]InstigatingDrunk-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Bored and have some pot? I'll netflix and chill.

why are you bored in the first place? why aren't you learning to leverage your boredom to become better? its not the pot, its you.

[–]Thizzlebot0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lol you are so defensive about pot get over it. Quit hamstering why it's OK. Doing it a few times a month is fine but you don't need to be so in love with it that you argue it's merits to random strangers online

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, you're the one being defensive about your own sloth.

Pot is awesome... but if that's all you do, you're the one with the problem. It could be anything you latch onto.

Stop running away from something you think is bad, and get something to work for that is GOOD.

Then you might understand.

[–]InstigatingDrunk-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Re-read what I wrote - i'm not defending weed, i'm placing blame on the individual who choses to say the reason they are a lazy fuck is because of pot.

at the end of the day no one is forcing you to smoke weed. I'm simply advocating personal responsibility.

[–]sofarforfarnoscore0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're both right.

[–]lordkingalpha 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

No that's your personal problem if you can't smoke a joint and still go workout or read a book or something. (Excuses, excuses is all I hear ) it's your one shit you gotta deal with not weed.

[–]Bingbongfly0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah I used to smoke but it holds me back. A sober workout is much better then a high one.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

but it holds me back.

excuses. jezus that this shit gets upvoted is just pathetic.

You have nothing you find worthy of working for, or have so little motivation to achieve, you'd rather just sit around all day smoking / pining for a girl / masturbating... whatever...

The thing you are complaining about is NOT the problem.

Your motivation to better your life (or the lack of it) is the problem.

[–]Bingbongfly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah disagree. I have plenty of motivation. Of course you can have a great life with smoking, but you still limit yourself. My life with drugs has far less productive motivation than my life without drugs. Remove the motivation to score drugs and you'll challenge that into something productive.

Realise it is a limit on your life and stop trying to justify a drug abuse. Also realise that putting this small limit on your life might be ok. I still drink occasionally, which is also a limit, but one that I accept.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

naw dude. If you have good things in your life, goals, ambitions...

Relaxing with a bit of weed now n then is awesome.

You have zero idea what "the majority" is... that's useless.

Concentrate on what you want in life and go get it.

ENJOY IT! And celebrate the hurdles, when you earn it.

[–]Bingbongfly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sums up my opinion of weed.

Of course you can have a great life with smoking, but you still limit yourself. My life with drugs has less productive motivation than my life without drugs. Remove the motivation to score drugs and you'll challenge that into something productive.

Realise it is a limit on your life and stop trying to justify it. Also realise that putting this small limit on your life might be ok. I still drink occasionally, which is also a limit, but one that I accept. Smoking is fine, but still a limit on your potential.

[–]BustaSlug1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds good, but as a chronic smoker that quit, I slightly disagree

[–]anonymouspotatoe6971 points72 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Chasing women. If they want me they will make it easy for me to get them. All that hard to get bullshit is for ugly dudes.

[–]jackandjill2211 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Still working on it but approach anxiety. The beta habit is not approaching the hotties. Blows my mind how far I’ve come that I do approach semi regularly now. Probably 90+ percent of men will not approach unless drunk — so happy to be in that top 10 percent.

[–]AbdulCapon26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Make it 1%.

[–]OfficerWade4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Approach anxiety is such an underrrated topic because its an important psychological problem for guys to face their face and do it anyway.

​

What this means is you cant use logic and reason to approach a women, you kinda gotta embrace your darker maculine side. Picture this, and this might be a stretch but although i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i shall fear no evil. You might say that this is you walking the valley watching yourself as the hero of the play. No need to rescue these women, you're not trying to harm them you just want to get to know these creatures.

​

My point is its suppose to be fun to chase women.

[–]mozofila5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do you do that while sober?!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Force yourself to do it a couple times then it’s not so hard or intimidating. I’m not an expert on it but I’ve put forth some effort and it’s paid off. Tons of resources on how to approach out there, but most important thing is just getting out of your house and doing it.

[–]Nitsujsith-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

make that 95%+

[–]thesteichenator57 points58 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Mate guarding

[–]omega_dawg9335 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i have friends who caught their woman cheating. she cried and blamed them bc they were not "acting right."

they went after the guy... forgave her.

smmfh.

[–]allcryptal-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is this having a stronghold on your SO?

[–]AskYouEverything1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

+20 shield points

[–]Random_throwaway_000 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy Link

Trying to reason with women. I'm a logically person, was hard to realize how little other people are like that.

[–]epushepepu34 points35 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Patrice o Neal said u gotta reason with them through analogies.

[–]SaggyT9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Example?

Love Patrice btw anybody reading, go watch his HBO special

[–]itsfedge59 points60 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Pussy is necessary but not important, it’s like being at a restaurant and receiving your fork from the waiter. You aren’t overly joyed for receiving the fork but it’s necessary to the meal” something along the lines of this

[–]mrheh17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Black Philip Show is a goddamn national treasure.

[–]iwviw4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny asf though

[–]iwviw5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I stoppped listening to it I feel like it made me an angry dark person listening to it

[–]look_good2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

he’s a comic. reality w no filter, that’s the blue pill still in you

[–]DownyGall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah that's the magic of it - too hilarious to be angry and dark.

[–]rn78893 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I disagree. Simply because they aren’t able view things differently than what they already conjured up in their mind.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not all are able to. True. A quality person can reason though. Even a woman... you just gotta show them it is worth it.

[–]InstigatingDrunk0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

doesn't work. they'll find some kind of flaw in your analogy

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, they might find a chink in your armor.

If so, the flaw is yours. They never will stop completely, even when you earn 99% of their trust.

Once you have confidence and can ground out manipulation in a playful way... what are they going to "flaw" (shame) you with?

Every shit test is an opportunity. It's literally testing your strength of character and internal boundaries. Use it as such and grow stronger. Why did that jab hurt? hmm...

[–]dukes19982 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I learned the hard way dealing with my friends, unfortunately. Very very few people are reasonable and have the ability to keep their emotions away from their decision making

[–]Blazer210045 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Communicating too much that wasn’t logistics

[–]AwesomeTheKid1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Made a request post about this the other day. In texting, when you talk a lot about things that aren't logistics, its easy to lose frame

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Trying to show off how smart I am because I thought it would get me laid. Still have a hard time not sounding like a sperg at parties by running my mouth about depressing, complicated stuff.

[–]Xevalous2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Save if for when it's appropriate, but don't ever lose the skill. Meet some guys that you can shoot the shit with, you'll start getting used to talking like a normie.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Being a windy texter and writer. Just look at my post history, so many are really long. It definitely comes across as Beta but I can't help it lmao and the irony is that I'm not nearly that way face-to-face.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep. I'm a wordy turd. People just don't have the attention span OR they are bright and hate that I run on.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I actually like long answers and find that most people are too brief to the point of being unclear. It's also weird to talk about being wordy over text because not being wordy talking about it sounds weird, but being wordy seems like trying too hard. LOL. Yeah, my most ingrained beta habit for sure

[–]TGL-Jesse4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has definitely been mine as well. Learning to write and reply with brevity just doesn’t come naturally to me. I’ve always felt that since text is so far removed from regular talking I always had to make sure I made my point come across as clear as possible so the other person would understand and there’d be no confusion. Not at all a helpful habit for conveying high value smh

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hitler, Stalin, Trump and Caesar are the epitomy of being alpha, and none are known for being brief. Don't buy into the cookie cutter dumb jock stereotype.

[–]empatheticapathetic30 points31 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Social anxiety. Self pity. Giving too many fucks about pointless things. Putting off things until the future

Being closed off socially until I really feel like I can trust someone.

[–]LetsKeepLooking6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Being closed off socially until I really feel like I can trust someone.

What made you realize this? How did you change it?

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Replied below.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is me. How did you get over it?

[–]empatheticapathetic5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I ate 7 spoons of potassium extract every day at 4am.

There’s no shortcuts bro. The fact you are aware of it is the first and most imperative step. Notice your lack of confidence in situations and take risks and just see what happens. Our instincts are built up for a reason but this reason may be outdated now (early childhood bullying/trauma or something) and getting in the way of our current potential. It’s up to each person to figure out the specific issue and assess whether it needs fixing. It’s hard because being conscious of stuff like this goes against being mindful and being in the moment with people to have a high quality interaction.

Become aware of your ego and emotional reactions to things. A really big thing for me is seemingly huge personal issues that when I explained them to people on TRP or other people whos opinion I valued, they didn’t indulge in it. They just said “ok, do X instead and ignore Y”. Completely cold emotionless logical assessments and solutions that made me realise it’s just me being a bitch and getting in my own way 90% of the time. Taking irrelevant things too seriously.

Still working on all of these issues, some more than others, I’ll get there soon.

[–]JLucasNewShitTooLit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can tell you that doesn't work. I eat 7 spoons of potassium extract every day at 4am just because I like waking up at 4am and eating 7 spoons of potassium extract gets me jacked.

I really thought you were serious for a second. I still wish you were but good advice bro. I need to get over this so bad.. This shit eats away at me.

Edit: Not the potassium extract. The self pity, over analyzing, approach anxiety, social anxiety, regular ass anxiety, no confidence. Some how I've been lucky enough to have a lot of sex but it's mostly all with the same girls. Ltrs and shit but I havent had vagina in like a year or something. Fuck.

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What's with potassium?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wanting to share my resources with friends and chicks. Having grown up poor, my inclination was to share with everyone- don't ask me how it makes sense, but such was my conditioning. That spilled over into buying things for girls, on dates and whatnot, and therefore to them categorizing me as beta.

[–]Xevalous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not necessary a bad thing, but keep it within moderation.

[–]screw5625 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Being a romantic lil bitch, I used to be a sucker for romance

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

all men are natural romantics. But women are not.

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I still don't buy this. Any notion of romance was brainwashed into us.

romance is not an inclination I've ever seen in myself or any other dude.

Romance is this fantasy of how women should be pedestalized according to women

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe, truth is, that women do not appreciate romanticism at all nowadays, so being one is futile and not worth it.

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd argue that women will always define romance to their preferences

romance is the fantasy of how they are attracted and/or a hindsight justification of their emotions when attracted

I don't know too many relationships that occurred as the result of any notion of romance, but social / sexual market value or provider qualities etc

let's agree to disagree, I don't doubt you, I just refuse to acknowledge the concept of romance

✌🏻🍻

[–]FwoGiZ49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hoping//thinking that a women can love me like I would love her.

[–]beautifulmanlet8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this one still stings

[–]Ravenanom0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is the thing I can't wrap my head around still and no matter how many examples both from my life and from all sources including trp I have at my disposal, my brain still refuses to acknowledge it.

I don't need anything from a women, or a man, or a child. I'm fiercely independent and I hate relying on anyone in my life. It isn't even about pride, but rather I hate the fact of needing someone else for something I can do by myself. I'm not arrogant, if I have a weakness, I ask for help, learn it and need not require further assistance.

But love....I've been indoctrinated to believe that woman are the gatekeepers of love, and the only thing I cannot provide for myself is held in the hands of women...which is complete bs but I can't shake this thought.

Love thyself This is hard.

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are not independent. You rely on the result of work of others and the desire of others to purchase something that you can do and they value. You got your education from others. You rely on the social and political institutions and organizations for various services you have no capacity doing. You get your entertainment from others and interaction with others. You would not be the person you are or have the lifestyle you have or do habits you do without various things others have created like language, culture, infrastructure, networks of spreading knowledge, tools, technology and vehicles others have done.

You are nothing but a small cog in a massive machine but you FEEL INDEPENDENT

Edit: not even that, you feel the need to seek emotional support or relief from others on internet because your first choice for emotional support which is female validation is not present.

[–]11-Eleven-1121 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Overthinking everything about everything when I'm doing literally anything.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Learning to say no. In my mid 20's I was being run ragged by the women in my life. When I took the red pill I cut off the girlfriend/wife perks to random girls from work/school. No rides or counseling sessions or loans, that's your boyfriend's job. You feel like such a thug at first, then you have this utter feeling of liberation. And they way they just contentedly move on afterwards is a nice red pill chaser. It was just business as usual and there are plenty of other beta suckers out there.

[–]red_matrix93 points94 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Banging fat chicks with huge tits.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Not gonna lie, I like an occasional roll in the rolls myself.

[–]red_matrix80 points81 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I love it until I nut, then it’s like “what did I do?”

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's not a common occurrence but every now and then I'll see a fat girl who makes my caveman brain light up like

heap big titty and plenty big bum bum, make food for many child, survive many winters, good breeding stock for tribe survival, must fill with seed of life

Then my post nut clarity be like

ok, scratched that little itch have we? I hope you learned your lesson this time but I assume we'll go through all this again in 8 - 15 months time.

[–]red_matrix26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

ok, scratched that little itch have we? I hope you learned your lesson this time but I assume we'll go through all this again in 8 - 15 months time.

More like 8 times in the next 15 months ugh

[–]OPTIMUSL1ME9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this guy

[–]TFWnoLTR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meirl

[–]UshankaDalek3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this comment.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. That's lol

[–]CaptainBW4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao

[–]jackandjill222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus Christ you guys.

[–]mancozbi9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

That's beta?

[–]red_matrix40 points41 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Well, I’d prefer to bang girls I’m not embarrassed to be with in public. But some fat chicks have such huge tits I can’t help myself. I’m trying to control myself more. Sometimes the penis beats the brain in chess.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10010 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Dam. You’re making me see faddies in a whole new light.

[–]red_matrix28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If they have a cute face, big titties and nice proportional curves - it’s my kryptonite. Under 21 and I’m in for sure. They rarely shit test or it’s so weak I just walk all over them.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1004 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh yea. Fucking a fat woman with a curvy figure is a no brainer for me. I’ll fuck her if she has a sexy figure. I thought you were talking about fat blobs that JUST had big hooters.

Now if it was a fat blob with big hooters and an ok (my definition of ok) face, then I’d let her suck me off with shirt on and tits out. I couldn’t have sex with one though. On top of being so fat and visually unappealing, I would be disgusted by the smell of all that skin and those folds in the fat that would undoubtedly hold an unpleasant odor.

[–]red_matrix2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve done that too but I’m not proud of it. But if I’m on a cold streak, and no one is around to witness, I’ll go home with her and leave ASAP, then go cry in the shower.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Long as you don't marry one, I don't see a problem.

[–]TheIslander8291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yuck

[–][deleted] 165 points166 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

The most beta thing you can do is watch porn

[–]salamchik53 points54 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I have a hard time to give up on porn. This shit is like a drug

[–]Aarxnw4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Over the past few weeks I’ve literally just resisted every urge I’ve had to fap or watch porn, not even on some nofap shit (I hate when people turn simple behaviours in to a club, shits wack) but just to see if I could do it or how long I could do it for. I don’t feel any better but my urges aren’t anywhere near as strong and I definitely have more sexual prowess. It’s not life changing like those people say though. I still post porn on my tumblr (girls love tumblr, I do not care how faggy people think it is) and it doesn’t really have an effect on me, I don’t have the urge to actually pay attention to or enjoy the porn, I just see it as upkeep of my blog and even then, I go days without looking or posting on it.

It’s not hard, you just have to stop viewing it as a thing. Nofap gives power to something that really has no power on its own. Just don’t watch porn, watch tv or play games or check your socials instead. After a week or two you just won’t care about porn, seriously, it’s that simple.

I also don’t think there is anything wrong with porn or fapping lol, so if you don’t want to follow this advice then go right ahead.

[–]GoRedBad 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I hate when people turn simple behaviours in to a club, shits wack

Unless it's something you're interested in, like TRP, right?

Sometimes it helps those who are struggling with simple behaviors to discuss them with like minded people...

[–]Aarxnw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t compare TRP and Nofap but maybe that’s just me

[–]Varelix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn literally fits in the word definition of drug. Really hard to quit

[–]mancozbi40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Best TRP comment I've seen in a while. Of course you don't want to watch another man having fabulous sex with a gorgeous girl - be that man yourself; and of course you don't want your hand making you cum - you want a gorgeous girl doing it. Save your sexual energy for the real world. Why waste it on a screen?

[–]virtualvirgincake23 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it though?

Using cost-benefit analysis, the amount of money and time you spend securing a mate can be cut by easily 90% by using porn. This is providing you use the time after to better yourself.

I'm not defending porn by any means, but I just don't get the circle jerk of porn is always bad. If you use it to get the release and then concentrate on more important things (other than women), I dont see the problem.

But as with anything, too much is a bad thing.

[–]DevilMayCry13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hard mode: jerking off a dick is gay even if it’s yours. You can only derive sexual pleasure from women.

[–]knowledgelover946 points7 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Why?

[–]boredathome19 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're watching other people fuck and satisfy yourself to the idea of it. Why don't you go out and fuck a girl yourself?

[–]jackandjill22-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're a hassle. & cost alot. & are time sinks.

[–]Alkenko36 points37 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Cuz a male hand makes you cum. It's beta and gay at the same time

[–]bonerpotpie104 points105 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't know what's satire anymore.

[–]twolanterns3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Poe's law

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

YAh, that HAS to be a joke.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao. This is why reddit is fun.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because you’re cucking yourself.

Don’t be a little cuck boy

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The most beta thing you can do is watch porn

Load of crap. Watch some with a girl. It's mad fun.

If that's ALLL you do... heh, you're not even part of a pack. No status whatsoever.

This /nofap crap is pathetic.

[–]T-P-T-W-P9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t say it’s pathetic. I feel like porn and constant masturbation definitely does negatively affect a lot of dude’s sex lives. Personally I’m not going to abstain for beating off for weeks and months on end but for those who can’t not do it 5+ times a day, maybe going to that extreme is what is necessary to better themselves? Can’t fault them if they’re that disciplined and it’s working out.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I love to fuck. I fuck every day. I jerk off every day. I look at hundreds of beautiful naked women every day.

​

I don't want to fuck them, talk to them, deal with any of the shit that comes along with them. I've had enough 'relationships' and sometimes I just want to orgasm in 4 minutes and be done.

​

No one fucks me like I fuck me and I love myself whenever I feel like it. The woman does a great job but not like me. I look at as many naked women as I have time for because I can, it's free, and I fucking love it.

​

I guess I'll be beta till I die.

[–]jeffwingersballs1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqxu0ChXxRQ

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

He's a pretty huge cuck for that chick man. I mean I've held out for a few women but I guess the movie is supposed to exaggerate that so people get the message.

It's a weakness and I'm an addict that's for sure.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

being addicted is the bad thing, not porn.

Ignoring social contact in favor of fantasy is not the most efficient way to be happy.

Enjoying both, is. Everything in moderation.

Some dudes will get totally wrapped up in a girl and ignore what's good for them. It's not the girl that's bad, it's that behavior.

[–]WellEducatedAgni-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol

[–]self-medicate16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Holding hope

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That one's not that hard to kill. Just remember it's like a time priority thing. If you're not one then soft next. Simple.

[–]self-medicate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand this rationally but for some reason i still find myself wanting people to change their mind. Its strange, like I know I shouldn't feel a certain way but I do anyway.

[–]TeamLitten16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m still very young and inexperienced (Sophomore, just turned 16 yesterday, have been reading red pill and improving myself for about 6 months). The hardest things that I still have trouble with are oneitis and over analyzing. Mostly oneitis, that shit is hard to let go of at such a young age when all girls seem innocent (at first).

[–]wordsbym3316 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fapping.

[–]minutericeman 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

"she's not yours, just your turn"

[–]rn788918 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This quote is true. And it has haunted the fuck out of me for months. I’m slowing accepting it and it’s kind of liberating.

[–]cornylamygilbert1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

it's only horrifying in shock value

it's actually truly freeing once you're numbed to it

knowing I don't have to mate guard, overly stress about keeping one girls attention, or settle on one person for the rest of my life took a lot of the pressure and anxiety away for me

What do I have to do? Keep me happy, valuable, and fit. It's a better trade off imo.

Using all my energy to try and make a woman happy? Fuck whatever put that in our heads to begin with

[–]rn78892 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The more I accept this and do exactly what you’re talking about, the more I agree with you. It’s such a load off.

[–]yumyumgivemesome13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I still struggle to maintain frame when I've had drinks and I feel like the girl I'm with is being a little too friendly with other guys. I'm usually quite good with abundance mentality, but that mentality falls to the wayside when I happen to be with a girl I really like.

[–]FwoGiZ7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's oneitis

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

maladaptive day dreaming. The more time you spend in reality, the better.

[–]mickey__4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

what are you doing about it

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair. not something I still struggle with but my recommendations:

  • manage your expectations. If you're someone who daydreams a lot, start by cutting out negative (ie revenge based) before moving to positive (ie super powers).

  • set yourself 'off limit' topics of thought, and police yourself. Actively distract yourself when necessary

  • utilize mindfulness techniques until the responses become habitual

Took me maybe 2 months to kick a crutch I'd used for more than 30 years. Highly recommend.

edit

One I've also heard is to replace your daydreaming with active planning on how to achieve your goals. I didn't try this myself as I only learnt of the technique recently tho

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This isn't "beta" it's a personality disorder.

Ignoring people is neither alpha nor beta... passive or assertive... it's just being completely self-absorbed.

Or maybe you're just bored out of your mind with the people around you. Find other people you are interested in.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tbh I would assume that you're referring to a different, or potentially more extreme end of the spectrum there as what you're describing does not mesh with my experiences.

I've heard it referred to as maladaptive, however having looked up the symptoms now I'd say I wasn't suffering from such, or at least a markedly less intense version. Call it 'unhelpful' daydreaming, I suppose.

[–]jackandjill22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know what this is. Several people have mentioned it. Just be present. All the time.

[–]enterim10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Giving women to much attention. Especially Texting.

[–]hormoan9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Talking too much. Being overbearing. Not even realizing this was a problem. It still is an instinct but I know to fight it now.

[–]tenXten1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

man...i only recently came to terms about this with myself. glad to know I'm not the only one

[–]pollodustino9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not being confrontational. My childhood was spent cowering in fear of a very emotionally domineering mom, with a dad that didn't argue, but just ran and hid. My brother and I learned this behavior ourselves, and the best way to survive was just to let mom yell herself out. To this day I don't know how to formulate a good argument on the spot, and clam up and just "let it ride" whenever I get into an argument with my girl.

I hate it. I've been trying to train myself not to do it, but it's incredibly hard, especially when she's been to law school and was raised in an environment full of arguing, so she's way better at it than I am. I also can't really do it with other people unless I really know them, because I fear the uncertainty of how they're going to react.

[–]EvanPetersDouble9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not realizing I should act like a man at all times, even when I'm alone. Not only when I'm around women.

Frame is a part of yourself the whole time, not only when women are around. As an ex pua I had it the wrong way around.

[–]Shaka98 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Explaining myself

[–]DaftOdyssey8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I guess trying to make my unappreciative mother proud with school work and stuff. I'm honestly not sure why I'm studying engineering anymore, but I'm too deep into the whole to quit now.

[–]KidWonder10113 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just get it to have it. Once you have that degree you'll be able to do any fucking thing you want, it doesn't even have to be engineering related.

That bachelor's in engineering shows intelligence and discipline, which is applicable to every industry.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As someone who has recently graduated in engineering - is this really true? I find that many job offers are very specific in who they want these days, and it usually requires a specific degree and/or specific experience relative to the field. Its hard enough to get a job related to my degree.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

hahah are you me? I just finished my bachelors in engineering and I live only with my mother. Yep, it took me till the end of the degree to realise I was mostly doing this to please others and not myself. At the end of the day I'm glad I have a good degree but I had many mental breakdowns and bouts of depression throughout. Not sure what I will do in the future. I will likely pursue engineering still as it is still a great field for money and personal development, but yeah it sucks I was never able to find my own passions and do what made me happy.

[–]downvotesanimals7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Drinking too much.
Who am I kidding, I still love me some beers.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Switch to vodka it's way lower calories lol

[–]graffix132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Vodka and water with a lemon is my only drink now. After a few of those you won't have a hint of vodka.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always thinking I’m getting cheated on and snooping, “insecurity” in other words building the don’t give a fuck mentality, I gave a fuck about everything for 2 decades.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Playing "oh poor me".

Realized one day, it is MUCH more efficient to kick ass at life, than spending energy getting handouts.

Some are fortunate enough to grow up with a strong father / male roll models to teach them this from the start. Maybe a mother that understands too, if they're really lucky.

For the rest, it can take a bit, if they ever realize it at all (why TRP is here IMHO).

Either way, it is a vital lesson on the journey to true adulthood.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Over thinking

Texting girls compliments

Replying like 5 mins after a text

Showing insecurities

Now I just don’t give a fuck we’re all gonna die in 100 years time to build my legacy

[–]ToiletPaperPringles13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why the fuck do I see you on every post I go on. It’s starting to freak me the fuck out.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That last sentence contradicts each other you fucking ape brain.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think if he used grammar it'd make more sense. "Now I just don't give a fuck (about chicks)- we're all gonna die in 100 years, so it's time to build my legacy"

[–]ToiletPaperPringles3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

why the fuck I see you on every post I go on. It’s freaking me the fuck out.

[–]bigman19999 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean replying 5 mins after a text

[–]stylesm111 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Texting back right away

[–]bigman19999 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is waiting good or bad lol? I reply when I remeber to reply

[–]stylesm114 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Waiting a minute let's ppl know covertly you are busy our don't give too many fucks, whether it's on purpose or accident

[–]ToiletPaperPringles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

why the fuck I see you on every post I go on. It’s freaking me the fuck out.

[–]An_Actual_Politician8 points9 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Living in someone else's (cheating wife's) frame.

It's a daily struggle but an internal battle I welcome every morning.

[–]Dexterss1 point2 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean ? Do you live with a cheating wife ?

[–]An_Actual_Politician3 points4 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

For the time being, yes. Getting ready for divorce and steering her to an outcome that doesn't involve me getting absolutely divorce raped (she's a SAHM and I make all household income). Also have two kids, 1 and 6 at the time of the cheating.

I've been unfucking myself over the last 10 months as now I have the abundance necessary to not really give a shit what she does. There's no shortage of hot women out there willing to fuck purpose driven, rule 1 and 2 following, fit (lift!) men who have been cheated on.

They hear that last part and any reservations they may have had fly right out the window.

[–]Dexterss1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah damn man . Well , I hope you wont get divorce raped and everything turns out fine

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I hope you've been lifting the last 10 months and have turned into a fuckin beast!

[–]An_Actual_Politician3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's the best part of this whole story. Started on 5X5 a month before discovering MRP.

Discovered the cheating right after Thanksgiving. Hit the gym Dec. 1 and haven't missed a lifting session since. I'm down 25lb. on the scale but am down more fat than that as I've added muscle. I go balls out at the gym. It's my sanctuary.

Friends and family comment on it. I went to a Halloween party as a Roman Gladiator and had a couple of my wife's friends grabbing at my underwear. Hot chick I sat next to at the airport bar felt me up while calling me muscular. Lots of comments rolling in now. I've fucked four women on the last four business trips I've been on. Life is great because it's on my terms again.

I can vouch for the fact that lifting is far and away the most important part of putting MRP into action. My confidence and abundance mentality have never been better.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you have any actual fulfillment though? It sounds like your entire life purpose is getting your dick wet at the expense of the most sacred vow you've taken your entire life. Honestly this reads more as you failed as a person, then decided to finally improve yourself as a person. I'm not sure which is more sad, the life you left behind or the one you're pursuing.

[–]An_Actual_Politician0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Doesn't sound like you're too far into red pill if you're still referring to marriage as "the most sacred vow" someone can make. AWALT makes a mockery of that regardless of what kind of mistaken pedestal you try to prop up underneath it.

If you think lifting only helps in getting laid, then you aren't doing it right.

My mission isn't to smash good looking women but that is certainly a side benefit along the way. I get asked to present at conferences often. Representing myself, and my company, in the best light possible is important. That means not walking out there looking like a fat slob who gets winded within 90 seconds of speaking.

My mission extends beyond that. I'm an elected official for my community, so lots of local media interviews and presentations there too. Again - first impressions matter. Confidence matters.

Don't mistake what my mission is just because I've chosen to highlight one particular benefit of lifting over any of the others.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh no, I'm not into redpill at all. I ended up here from seeing someone else's comment history.

Alright, your entire post was about how you look and feel good now that you started paying attention to yourself. It's great that you started to take action and improve yourself. Butttt

How many oaths have you sworn in front of friends and family? I'd be willing to bet one. Maybe two. Like, all those great things you describe are good, but they're as superficial as it gets.

[–]the_strat 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

They hear that last part and any reservations they may have had fly right out the window.

Go on...

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Plausible deniability is a phrase used here a lot. Simplified: you usually can't just tell a woman "let's go back to my place so I can stick my cock down your throat." We have to offer a plausible alternative to advance the situation.

Same goes with being married if you're gaming someone else. If you have your shit together, have a purpose in life, lift like a motherfucker and just generally adhere to steps 1 & 2, a woman who wants to fuck you (a married dude) will be looking for that plausible deniability to get over the "he's married" hump.

And "I was cheated on" turns out to be the magic phrase. All they need. I've been honestly surprised at how often me being married has come up after that (zero times). They just want to get fucked by a good looking dude at the end of the day, and ideally use it as leverage to shoehorn it into a commitment of my time and money.

[–]Garathon0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean? You get more success if you've been cheated on?

[–]rigbed0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Revenge sex is hot

[–]An_Actual_Politician0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It definitely brings out the Sex God method.

[–]Garathon0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Aren't you seen as a beta cuck?

[–]An_Actual_Politician6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Getting cheated on is a pretty common reason why guys find rp and mrp, unfortunately.

I don't give a shit how anyone here views that. I'm taking the steps I need to take to unfuck myself, which to me at least is the difference between a beta cuck and myself. I now fuck who I want when I want. Cheating wife is none the wiser. As far as she knows I might still want to work things out.

That said, I'd rather get cheated on and discover married red pill principles vs. continuing to live as a blue pill beta, always existing in someone else's frame. That's the real death sentence.

[–]turousa 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Would you advise against marriage given what you've been through? I can't help but think I'll die alone if I don't marry

[–]An_Actual_Politician2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're not asking the right questions.

What is your MAP? What makes/will make you a man of action? What path do you want to make for yourself?

Answer and begin executing those. Then if a woman comes along who adds value to that mission - great. There's your marriage potential.

That said, I'm in the situation I'm in because I am married to a SAHM in a no fault state (meaning they can cheat with impunity and I still owe her over half my money and assets). I'd advise if you meet someone and you want them to be a SAHM, draw up a prenuptial that changes the terms to that of an at fault state, at a minimum.

You're conflating dying alone with dying unhappy. If you're executing your map then maybe you die alone, maybe not - but you will die with a fucking smile on your face and family and friends by your side.

[–]j-pHil10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Validation seeking from men and women. Sometimes my brain will freeze when I don't know how to impress. Help please.

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

now I just thing you're trying to impress me by asking for my help

[–]CanberraLoneliestMan13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Coming to Reddit to ask for advice

[–]Barkingtaco4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Think of us as a resource. Not a beta move unless you obsess over it.

[–]stylesm11-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think he means other subs that are over run with feminism

[–]look_good1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

looks like a bp style shaming comment with that as plausible deniability.

[–]dtyler864 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Believing they’re actually devoted to me

[–]BacardiRazz13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I still get oneitis frequently and even though im aware as fuck i cant get some chicks out of my head lol. Enough work for me to do

[–][deleted]3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me I think it’s not being myself. Sometimes when around women I like I act different and come off weird. Like I have a social anxiety where I have to think about everything I say to impress her. Usually I come off fake in beta. At least in my eyes idk what the girls think. If I was to just be myself and stop trying come off as Mr perfect I’d probably do better. I’m the shit when being myself so its weird when I do these beta validation test out of habit. I’ll even sometimes try and sell myself to women out of habit like “oh I’m this tall , make this much, or I weigh this much” blah blah.

[–]pdstackz4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

My posture and stance. I'm 5'11 and used to find my body language to be closed up, legs too close together, shoulders, in tight just incase I was taking up too much space, with my head down. Now? Fuck that, straight up: I'm a bigger guy and I take up space, unapologetically.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck yes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I'm a bigger guy

sounds like you are fat. Don't be fat

[–]pdstackz0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm not fat. For anyone reading this who is, you can be fat and still be an alpha, and you can be fat and still get women. When you ARE ready to lose weight, do it for your own health, not because you think you'll get more women that way.

[–]look_good2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

nah bruh, fat shame the fatties. the ones who get offended need to lose the weight anyway

[–]pdstackz0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

They need to lose it for their own health, but not to get bitches. Point blank.

[–]look_good2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

bitches are a side effect. if they use bitches as motivation, at least it gets them started

[–]pdstackz2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Health over bitches, anyday.

[–]look_good0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

“everything is about sex except for sex. sex is ab power” -or something like that...

[–]pdstackz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What's the beta habit you had the hardest time giving up?

[–]look_good1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

not refraining from engaging in bullshit arguments

[–]WonderfulPipe4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Masturbating. I have come to the realization that this is the addiction of my life , in terms of addictions, I never struggled with smoking, or with drinking, or with sugar, and I quit video games pretty easily, but masturbating is my drug addiction, my longest NoFap streak has been 22 days and I really struggle to go beyond that.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucked up Porn...

[–]Brokebeast1014 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Texting too much and being impatient.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Making covert contracts with people, especially my LTR. Made me a really whiny bitch.

[–]residentlifter 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Like what?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I used to do the classic choreplay: thinking that me cleaning shit around the house would get her to fuck me. And then getting pissed at her for not fucking me.

I used to give her gifts or do things for her (like making her favorite meal or watching her favorite movie) in the hope that she would respect me and be nicer. When I got just a "thank you" or "that's sweet", I would get pissed and then she would get pissed because she didn't understand why I was being nice and immediately pissed afterwards. Her way of telling me that was that "I played with her emotions" and I didn't actually understand what she really was saying before I read NNMNG.

[–]sx_appeal0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

No more mr nice guy. I read it but didn't quite believe this behavior exists till I saw your comment. I'm glad you are progressing!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you ever lurked on the Deadbedrooms sub? This sub might as well be called "Reasons why TRP works".

And yet they block anyone who mentions anything RP related.

[–]sx_appeal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A few times. Will check it out.

[–]mrHappyPotatoe4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sharing emotions.

Fuck. Even thinking about it now makes me vomit.

[–]gbnz873 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I struggled with long silences or when I run out of things to say or I draw a blank. I now realise It’s up to them to pull their weight of the conversation as well. I must of looked really needy when I’d be just trying to say anything rather than have an awkward silence.

[–]Blum19892 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Saying sorry all the time considered Beta?... Lol.

[–]look_good1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes. so is adding ‘lol’ unnecessarily. you get 2 sorry’s per relationship. use wisely.

[–]Sexandswishers2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

struggling with my beta habit of staying in a LTR (I’m bored with) just out of convenience. (Rent, Drugs, Sex)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was king of the nice guys, so I've got a lot of habits to unpick.

Biggest one is probably approval seeking and the distress caused by the perceived withdrawal of that approval.

I am learning to state my beliefs (I don't talk about trp though) calmly and not care if people disagree, I challenge and disagree with women and call them out on their shit and I manage my neediness quite well now. I still often feel intense discomfort, but it's getting better.

I used to get so overwhelmed with neediness that I would think of almost nothing else and nuke the relationship from orbit because I couldn't handle it

[–]27billion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Playing video games.

[–]idontevenlift371 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Allowing women to walk all over me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

watching porn, seeking validation

[–]xddm26531 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The best part of trp for me, is it let me be my true self instead of trying to do things that I was led to believe you were supposed to do (be nice to women, always listen to what they say)

[–]Yoasted1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This thread got too real for me. I have quit smoking weed, gaming, and i have to do some serious thinking about whether or not to keep my girl around.

[–]nummas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Giving a fuck what others thought of me.

[–]MakeMenGreatAgain441 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Masturbating

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Taking action instead of reading endlessly self-help stuff.

I still have trouble with this to be honest.

[–]QuirkyDoctor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yearning for the approval of women. Since middle school, I have wanted "girls to like me." Looking back, it was fucking pathetic. I'm glad I'm over that mentality. I'm a much better person now because of it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Adding smiley faces to some of my texts

[–]BubblePomelo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Saying "Sorry" when I mean "Excuse Me"

[–]1InformalCriticism2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There are plenty of beta traits that are difficult to overcome, but the one that was most worth it is not apologizing/verbally supplicating to any man or woman.

[–]_bender_is_great_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Apologize if you're wrong.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse_ 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Video games

[–][deleted]1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Video games are not beta it’s an enjoyable hobby. As long as it’s not all you do their is not problem c

[–]WonderfulPipe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’d say they are beta if it’s an addiction.

[–]residentlifter 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm kinda conflicted since I sorta think out of all the emotions to express other than none and positive ones, expressing some anger and frustration can't be all too beta if you're not being a whiny little bitch about it - but that. I tend to express my frustration a lot in some mildly violent acts, like punching a surface.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Had this problem before too, save your anger for the gym or your job and get shit done.

[–]stat14900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn, alcohol, and being disorganized and lazy. Procrastinating.

[–]dontgiveupcarib0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eating ice cream often

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Procrastinating

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being passive. Too bad haven't realised that earlier. Women can't account for shit

[–]oshouseofreps0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being too agreeable. Now I only do stuff when it benefits me

[–]PerplexingPegasus_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gaming for excessive hours, trying to reason with people who don’t want to reason, occasionally not striking when the iron is hot.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought easy dopamines were hard to give up.. until I finally gave them up. Now, its overanalyzing what I'll say to a girl lol

[–]UpperRedSide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Showing my emotions to women.

As a generally stoic, mysterious kind of guy also having been blessed with good looks, girls almost always showed signs of interest, until I, like a goddamn retard, sputtered out my secret confession of love to them.

When they were unaware of the way I saw them, they were head over heels. Once I bare my heart, they become disgusted.

I'd done this far too many times before I realized how much it was screwing me over.

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Caring too much what others think.

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking a girl repeatedly without falling in love

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Overthinking

[–]nobodyinparticu1ar0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

how do I fix this?

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop giving a shit about what people think of you, shoot your shot, and realize there is plentyyyy more fish in the sea.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

People pleasing. I was always uncomfortable if someone i cared about was unhappy and I wanted to fix it, even if it had nothing to do with me.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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