Guys I need help asap (self.asktrp)
submitted 9 months ago by H0tTamal3
I've just recently started taking the red pill and I'm making some progress coming out of my omega solitude and trying to take care of myself.
I live in a bumfuck little town so today I drove 80 miles to the nearest city to practice approaching women, away from people I know. First I had to get rid of these sweatpants and sweatshirt I was wearing, so I went to the mall to get some style. I got a leather jacket and a few new outfits with shoes and all, thanks to the help of some of the style advice and guides on here.
Anyway, to cut to the point, I threw on these new clothes and went back into the mall to get some jewelry to accessorize. At the kiosk where I got the jewelry I started talking to a girl that worked there and got her number. I asked if she wanted to go get a drink tonight and then she gave me her number. The first time I've tried gaming in years and it worked first try.
So I don't want to pat myself on the back yet, I still have some approaching to do before this chick gets out of work. But I haven't really read anything about text game. Do I text her 30 minutes before she gets out of work? Do I just say hey right now so she has my number? I don't know what to do! Oh btw this chick is probably about hb7, way hotter than the one girl I've been banging the last few years.
[–][deleted] 219 points220 points221 points 9 months ago (5 children)
damn you went from 0-100 real quick lol.
[–]Jabbermouth 122 points123 points124 points 9 months ago (2 children)
Real talk. Homie has taken more action in a day than most TRP users have in months.
[–]Aarxnw 37 points38 points39 points 9 months ago (1 child)
Took me months to even accept that I had a problem, and months to get out of my shell, this guys future is looking red asf
[–]thatboyjeff 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (0 children)
I’m still angry at myself from time to time.
This anger is responsible for much of my drive today. So it’s not completely bad..
[–]knowledge-seeker27 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children)
🤣🤣🤣you read my mind
[–]cornylamygilbert 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children)
the leather jacket change cracks me up
like something out of She's All That or My Fair Lady
"slicked my hair back and got so much vagine"
[–]CanYouEvenCount 65 points66 points67 points 9 months ago (5 children)
Don’t overthink things! Text her when you want an answer, which sounds like now. So send her a text confirming where you want to go and the time, then go see her.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 20 points21 points22 points 9 months ago (3 children)
She told me she gets out of work at 930 so I know I can't see her now, so I'm just wondering if I should wait or what?
[–]philltered 24 points25 points26 points 9 months ago (2 children)
Just do it already. A simple "heyy, this is hotamal3" suffices. Then follow up with a plan tens of minutes after you get a reply. Short, sweet, assertive sentences. They love following orders from men who have it planned out. All the best!
[–]RemyBucksington 66 points67 points68 points 9 months ago (1 child)
My guy with the two y’s lol
[–]V8459352 10 points11 points12 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Text game 101: How to not get left on read
[–]KevKev423075 1 points1 points1 points 9 months ago [recovered]
Just text her when you want to. Don't be so outcome reliant. Best way to text her is a call back humor then just logisitic. If you can't do a call back humor then text just logistic like "hey, this is (name). When do you get off of work and when/where should I pick you up?" Treat her like you would treat a friend. Don't put her on a pedestal. Have fun together like you would have fun with a friend. Most of the time, it's your body language and kino that separate you from being a friend. It's all about the subtle tone for girls. She's thinking about sex, you're thinking about sex, so no need to make it obvious with words. If she likes you, she'll make time and let you touch her and push her boundaries. Just don't pressure her too much and she'll eventually let you sleep with her if you're someone she feels like she can have fun with and trust.
Tip on kino: she'll stop you when she feels uncomfortable or she'll pull away. Go slow so that she has time to stop you, but keep going till she stops you. Don't pressure her more, just back off a bit and build more touch comfort till she eventually let you go there. Best to follow that 2 steps forward, one step back to build tension.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 6 points7 points8 points 9 months ago (1 child)
Ok I still don't know what callback humor is. I've been reading guides on improving myself and approaching but I know literally nothing about text game. I'll find one when I get settled in somewhere and see what callback humor is.
[–]Xoramung 1 points1 points1 points 9 months ago [recovered]
Edit: you can hint at sex with your words, just don't straight out say you'll do stuff to her if she isn't yet ready for it. Honestly, let her use her own imagination instead of you telling her.
Edit: you can hint at sex with your words, just don't straight out say you'll do stuff to her if she isn't yet ready for it. Honestly, let her use her own imagination instead of you telling her.
can you give a few examples.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 9 months ago (12 children)
The good old text game.
Here's some advice that you might use.
Build rapport Let your first text take her back to the moment of the approach. Find something interesting/funny that happened while you were talking to her and casually mention it in the text. It could literally be anything. It just has to be something that happened between the two of you and only the both of you relate to. As for the time when to do this, it doesn't really fucking matter. Leave her a text before she finishes her job so she can text you as soon as she's done (if she's that interested).
Mirror her texting game. Look, every girl has different texting game. Some girls would start typing paragraphs about why their cat is depressed last week. Others will send you pictures of their new dresses and newly-adopted puppies. Some girls will only keep it short to finally squeeze you to get on with the logistics. Doesn't matter what game she's playing my friend. Your goal is always to end the conversation with both of you agreeing on when and where to meet. If you texted her and she answered in 2 hours, wait for an hour and reply. Always wait half the time she took to answer back. Why? If you answer instantly, it shows you're more invested in the relationship before it even begins. If she answers in short bits, shoot back in short bits. If she writes long text, then write her back equally or less long texts. Always remember that you can always get off the script.
The final objective: getting her comfortable When you text a girl, like on approaching, you need to make feel comfortable. Don't send weird pics or texts. Keep to the point and try to keep your texts light and flirtatious. Don't take anything she texts seriously. Try to flip it and make fun of it all the time.
Holly shit, did you really drive 80 miles just to game girls? I wish I had your balls.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 28 points29 points30 points 9 months ago (1 child)
Thanks for the advice. I drove 80 miles to improve myself.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 months ago (0 children)
It was a joke I didn't mean it. I know it sucks to live in a city in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, so kudos for you.
[–]the1pope 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Yo dude can you pls elaborate on your tips. You dropped a few gems still
[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (7 children)
Text game? What are u talking about? Hes already ganed her in person. Texting is for date details. He doesnt need to start a conversation with her. He just needs to send a time and place of meeting
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (6 children)
If that's the way you text, good for you. I honestly try to start a small talk/conversation with girls over text just to make them more comfortable. And although it's not as what TRP advises, it works for me. I also use a lot of emojis (which is something also not advised in here) but hey. It works for me. And I find it the most natural.
Remember. Texting hasn't been a thing until recently. During hte 2000s when everyone owned a cellphone, texting was costy which explains why people used it for logistics only. But it's 2018 where kids are raised texting their fucking parents to pick them up from kindergarten. So to actually talk over text a little isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Again, that's my method. If you think it's flawed and already has something that works for you, absolutely good for you, mate.
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (5 children)
And how old are you?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (4 children)
Did I sound old or something lol
[–]HurricaneHugues -1 points0 points1 point 9 months ago (3 children)
I see a bunch of words but no actual numbers. Weird. Reddit must be bugging again
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (2 children)
That's because the person behind this account doesn't want to share his age ;)
[–]HurricaneHugues 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (1 child)
You're a kid.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
[–]nummas 13 points14 points15 points 9 months ago (1 child)
I wouldn't worry too much about texting if the dates on the same day. I would have texted her in front of her so she has your number and you see her get the message, that way you know she didn't give you a fake number.
In this case, just go and see if she shows up. I usally give 20 minutes and if she hasn't arrived or sent you a text that she will be late, it's time to move on.
Chat to other people while you are waiting if you can. If she doesn't show, think nothing of it and do something else and delete her number, don't text her asking where she is or being all but hurt she didn't show. You're the prize. Her loss.
If she does show, you know what to do.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 7 points8 points9 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Great advice, thanks. We didn't talk about a venue so I'll just go where I want, then text her around the time she said and tell her where I am. You guys are awesome.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 10 points11 points12 points 9 months ago (5 children)
100% approach-to-number-close ratio lol..
Don't sweat the texting too much. Remember to be your own mental point of origin. You have to establish your frame and get her into it.
In other words: What are you in town for? What are your plans for tonight? Are you staying over somewhere or driving back? Does this mean you plan to drink or stay sober?
If you have zero plan and are only acting in whatever way is necessary to bang that girl, what's going to happen? You're going to text her too much. You're going to ask her what she wants to do and when she wants to meet. You're going to abide by her schedule. And she won't get attracted.
In contrast, if you have the Frame in place, the texting will sort itself out. You'll text her at the right time (that is, when you feel like it or when it suits your plans) to let her know what you are up to and where and when you suggest you could meet. Leaving her just enough wiggle room to accommodate her needs (when she's off, the time it'll take her to go home, get a shower, change clothes, etc.).
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (4 children)
Thanks for the advice. We sent a couple quick logistical texts back and forth. I told her where to meet me. She responds with "idk where that is" so I responded "then pick a spot, or use google" and now radio silence for a bit.
Was that an alright text or was offering for her to pick a spot a bad move? I thought the sarcasm of "or use google" equaled it out.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 10 points11 points12 points 9 months ago (1 child)
That was bad. You basically told her "I want to see you so bad that I'm ready to go wherever you want to go". Don't ever do that again. Girls wants to be led by a strong man without feeling forced. You simply tell her where you want to go while leaving her enough wiggle room to not feel unsafe. "I'm thinking going to X or Y. Both cool places" or "Let's go to X, best cocktails in town. And plenty of other places in the same street if we change our mind."
Here you should have simply answered her the address. Why did you feel the need to answer with giving her the wheel (which she doesn't want), while adding a criticism while you were at it?
Also keep in mind it's quite possible she actually wasn't interested in meeting you at all anyway. Girls may not be interested in you and still give you their number so that you don't make a scene (especially at her workplace) or to add you to her roster of online orbiters. Which means: don't automatically assign her flaking to something you said or failed to say. You can deliver great game and still not get anywhere. It's all about keep playing the game to not miss those few that are actually keen on you, or who receive your game well.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Ok thanks I really needed this advice. I almost gave her an x or y option thing in the first place but I was trying to be decisive. Then when she said she didn't know where it was, I figured it was some kind of a ploy because it's her hometown and everyone has Google so how could you not know where it is?
Anyway, as I was writing this she sent a text flaking, but inviting me to breakfast so I could join her orbiter club, you called it. I just replied "no thanks" and now I will ghost. This is good news though, now I get to go do some more approaching.
[–]tooproforaname 6 points7 points8 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Never let them choose, always give a time and place. Always be unrelenting in your frame and ask yourself what Chad would do. Would a high-value man change his plans to accommodate some girl he just met? She can either join you or gtfo, her loss
[–]asisee 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children)
The man solves problems. The use google part, to me that seems rude over text. She isnt familiar with you or your sensr of humour yet so sarcasm is tricky territory over text.
Never let her pick a spot or google. Literally guide her to the date without being needy.
[–]astrogatorjones 9 points10 points11 points 9 months ago (2 children)
holy shit dude it doesn’t matter what the fuck happens you are already killing it.
I think TRP is about taking matters into your own hands and putting yourself out there, being willing to face failure. You already won.
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (1 child)
I have a long way to go my friend. I got 1 number. I'm still a sperg about approaching. It will take hundreds more until I can claim victory.
[–]tooproforaname 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children)
The mindset is what's important in determining success. With that honest and objective outlook, it sounds like you're already getting it.
[–]SAPPHIREAURA 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (2 children)
Enjoy this post, and thread but surprised how “nice” all the replies have been. Anytime I ask a question here it’s mostly savage digs back to back...
[–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER 8 points9 points10 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Shut up bitch ;). It's just the bravado around here my dude. Takes some getting used to but it's medicine. Doesn't taste good but it works.
[–]sesamerox 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children)
[–]Andgelyo 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (9 children)
Lmao if this is real kudos to the OP, he leveled up from 3 to 25 in a span of one day
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 9 points10 points11 points 9 months ago (8 children)
I wish. She flaked, then I went to the bar to practice approaching. I was by myself, got stone cold ignored 6 times and shut down once. Then I decided I had enough for the night. I don't think approaching in bar scenes is the best for a loner, sober alcoholic. I've just got to keep working on my approaches through day game where I feel more comfortable (though it is harder). Tomorrow is a new day!
I'll give bar game another shot when I develop a social circle of likeminded men.
[–]diethylazed 4 points5 points6 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Small steps my man Gotta throw yourself out there It's all getting used to that feeling
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (6 children)
How did dhe flake if she offered to get breakfast in the morning instead?
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (5 children)
Because we had plans to meet that night when she got off work. Then she bailed at the last minute. Edit- I may send her a message in a few days letting her know that I will be in town next week and ask if she wants to join me doing something that I have determined beforehand.
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (4 children)
She told u she couldnt hangout that night but rescheduled for the next morning right?
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (3 children)
Yeah, but she had hours to do that then rescheduled at the moment we were supposed to meet. I would have just said no problem and said I was down for breakfast, but I thought the guides here advocated for ghosting when a girl flakes. The whole thing just seemed like she didn't really want to see me that bad, so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.
She sent me a few texts saying how she wanted to see me another time, then after I ignored those the final text she sent was "can I at least come see you after I put my daughter to bed?" At that point I was out already practicing approaching and I thought I was supposed to ignore her.
Did I fuck that up big time? Should I text her now and tell her I want to see her when I come back to the city next week?
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (1 child)
She wanted to come see you where? What time was it?
Are there no girls around you that don't have kids?
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 months ago (2 children)
who gives a fuck how hot she is. All women are LIKE THAT, they all have their inner sluts in them and can bang any dude on the spot, provided the opportunity and right circumstances.
Stop thinking about her hotness, she's not special and 80 percent of women in certain countries can be called "hb7" so that's... do not put her on pedestal, man.
I suggest you read more in the meantime of female hypergamy, anything from RationalMale blog, will help you a lot to understand what women want (need) and how to have a proper mindset.
In short, you should ignore her beauty. It is your number one thing for now that you should internalize. The less you text, the better. It's just for logistics, always.
P.S. the trick is to seduce her, not become her friend, so you may ask a few questions, make a few jokes, but the essence of the game is Kino Escalation and indifference to the outcome (IDGAF attitude).
[–]H0tTamal3[S] 5 points6 points7 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Yeah I know that too. It's crazy I've read all this stuff but when the moment comes it's hard to fight that beta inside me. Fuck her, I'm here on a mission to improve myself. If I fuck her then great, if I dont, great. I'll still go home a little bit better of a man today.
[–]CanYouEvenCount 3 points4 points5 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Don’t wait text her now
[–]coofster55 2 points3 points4 points 9 months ago (0 children)
don't over think it dude you got it. You got passed the hard part. During the date just be yourself, have fun, ask open end questions. Get to know her. Really my thing I do is not to take things so seriously and have fun with it. Its fun meeting new people and getting to know someone.
[–]shuritsen 1 point2 points3 points 9 months ago (0 children)
[–]drnaline 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
congratulations. Read masculinedevelopment he got some free texting tips and red pill site.
[–]MrIncreible10 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
You should watch First Dates by CoachRedpill. It is a good video to get that first date right.
[–]MaliciousMack 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Leave your name in a text so she has your number. Then hit her up tomorrow and see if she can hit up a bar with you. Wish you the best.
[–]DreamPolice69 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Proud of you buddy. Action triumphs everything.
[–]HurricaneHugues 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Text her right now. Text her a time and a place to meet you at. Nothing more nothing less
[–]ghjklzxcv123 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Op is fast af. He will be a chad in a few months if he continues like this
[–]Velebit 0 points1 point2 points 9 months ago (0 children)
Great but take into consideration success is random and more often than not (80%+) of women will reject you, especially if you don't care about approaching only those who have IOI.
Just find a place with a couch and music quiet enough to talk, when you send the message is irrelevant.