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Red Pill ExampleSome advice from my TRP grandpa on how to start a relationship out right. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by jeremyfirth

My senior year in high school I lived with my paternal grandparents because I really couldn't stand the thought of trying to live out my senior year living with either of my stepparents.

My grandparents owned a small farm, and when I got there, I was expected to do chores and contribute. I got there right after school got out for the summer in May 1994.

Not long after I moved in, it was time to take the cows from the wintering pasture (our farm) up to a pasture that my grandpa and a friend of his rented from the BLM for summer grazing. So we had a load of cows, and my grandpa's friend had a load of cows.

We got up there, and right when we got there, we saw a cow in trouble. She was in labor, but things weren't going well. I didn't know anything about cows, but my grandpa determined that the calf was being born breech (head first). And it was stuck.

Well, I had long arms, so I had the job of pushing the calf back up the birth canal between contractions, turning it, and pulling it back out. That didn't work, so I just pulled it out. The calf had died at this point, but the cow's life was saved, so it wasn't a complete loss.

Just about the time the cow was finished eating the afterbirth (which is a sound I'll never forget), the wife of my grandpa's friend came driving up. (This was in the days before cell phones, btw).

"I was so worried! You said you'd be back in two hours and it's been six hours! I thought you had gotten in a wreck or there was some kind of emergency!"

We explained what happened and she repeated the above refrain about five times while we were telling the story.

So we get in the truck, and as we're driving back, my grandpa says, "Listen, Jeremy. She has always been like that, and it's ridiculous. That shit needs to be stopped early in a marriage, or it will ruin you. This is what you do. Right after you get married, say you're going somewhere. Doesn't matter where. Tell her you'll be gone for an hour. Come back in three. Don't apologize. Don't explain. If she asks, just say, "it took longer than I expected." Do this half a dozen times in the first six months of your marriage, and you won't have to put up with the bullshit you just saw. You're a man, and you don't need to be on a goddamn leash."

I miss you, Grandpa.

[–][deleted] 270 points271 points  (22 children)

Your grandpa sounds like a legend

[–]jeremyfirth[S] 190 points191 points  (21 children)

That means a lot to me. Thank you. He was a tank commander in the Korean War. He trained race horses, made his own wine and beer, drank whiskey all day every day, and had fists the size of a grapefruit. He had a sixth grade education, but could do trigonometry and could rebuild an engine by himself. It was an honor to get my first lessons on being a TRP man from him. He wasn't a perfect man, but there's no question that he was a man's man.

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (17 children)

I'm starting to notice that our grandfathers and great-grandfathers are the only men a lot of us admire. Mine fought in WW2 at the battle of Normandy. Didn't take shit from anyone his entire life. I bet our grandfathers would have got along.

EDIT: By the way, I guess I was right, he was a legend.

[–]jeremyfirth[S] 76 points77 points  (1 child)

That's an interesting point about our grandfather's generation. You had to take responsibility for your own life at a very early age back then. The Depression showed them that the world did not give a fuck whether you lived or died, so if you want to live, you better learn to handle your own shit. We have been coddled more and more ever since.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This x1000.

The Depression plus the second World War made a generation of men (and women) our country hasn't seen in a long time. That seed of hardness is in all of us, only waiting for adversity to make it grow. They rose to the task, and we (or successive generation) will rise to the task should tough times like those ever come around again.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 20 points21 points  (8 children)

Well to be fair he takes some shit from his wife but that was expected back in the day and he totally knew how to fix it. Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers were probably the last generation of men and manly men.

I always lament the fact that we as a society have gotten more and more overprotective of kids. I have to suspect it's the fact that we've gone from a society where like 5-6+ kids was the norm (lots of kids were 'free' labor for family farms back in the day) to a society where 2-3 kids was the norm to a society where 0-1 kids is rapidly becoming the norm. We are suffering from a psychological putting all our eggs in one basket.

I mean my generation (mid -30's now) we were somewhat lucky. We had the chance to explore as long as we were with our friends (we'd get 3-4 of us driving around on our bicycles all over the neighborhood.). We had some boundaries but being in a suburb they were rather large. We weren't to cross the railroad tracks or any of the major busy streets without permission and the only places to go were a large park with baseball fields and the mall.

[–]vox_veritas 8 points9 points  (6 children)

I like your description. I'm not quite as old as you are, but I feel as if our youths were cut from the same cloth, as it were.

I totally agree with what you said about boundaries and growing up in the suburbs (I did, too). For us, it was me and about 3-5 other similarly aged neighborhood kids who would ride our bikes all over the place to the pool/country club where we all belonged, or just down random streets in the adjoining neighborhoods to explore (or, really, to try to 'randomly pass by' girls' houses and see if they were maybe home). Or, even better, we'd go in the 100+ acres of undeveloped woods behind my house and have paintball wars. I distinctly remember when all of us had finished our paintball match and decided to climb all the way up to the top of the abandoned water tower out there in the middle of those damn woods. Hell, other great times involved my Dad helping us all build homemade ramps to jump our bikes and skateboards.

I'm rambling, but I think what you're touching on is the concept of what is referred to as 'free-range children', or, as you and I called it growing up, "being a regular boy." Sadly, that seems not to be the norm anymore. Sure, I didn't spend my summers the way my Dad did -- at his aunt's family's farm in Virginia wringing chickens' necks so they'd have something to eat for dinner and helping the (TRIGGER WARNING: "racism" /sarcasm) sharecroppers pick cotton. But, at least I had a childhood where I got hurt from doing dumb shit on my bike, came home bruised up from epic paintball wars, had to run all the way out of the woods to my best friend's house to explain to his Mom that he had broken his arm out in the woods (twice!), and crossed my fingers and hoped that I wouldn't be punished for not coming home after the sun went down.

TL;DR - Free-range childhood is the best.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Yeah problem with that is... it only works when you have other parents that do the same thing.

A lone free-range kid is easy pickings in a world filled with many dangers. However a group of 2-5+ kids. Not so much.

[–]E2DsIE 9 points10 points  (4 children)

This. I say i'd love for my children to grow up like I did and be able to run around and get dirty, but whose he gonna play with? His shadow? Im 20 years old and have lived on the same street since I was 3. The last time a group of kids were outside playing it was myself and a group of kids when we were like 10 years old. 10 years and I shit you not, not a single other group of kids has sprung up on the block. Families are pretty paranoid these days, getting bombarded with all the missing kids/pedo news stories, its really no wonder kids arent playing outside anymore

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Between the abductions and the excessive electronics, kids don't go outside anymore. It's a pity.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Much of the abductions are sensationalized journalism. You know the journalistic saying is 'if it bleeds it leads'.

Also makes me get an urge to move out of the city and adopt a lifestyle similar to how those Duck Dynasty dudes do... No joke they must be doing something right with their upbringing and kids. Oh that's right... Alpha Male presences for role models.

[–]Dark_Shroud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My area had the same problem. I lived here since the 80s and its mostly old people.

Now 4 families here have kids so they run around and go around the corner to the parks & fields. One summer my nephew was staying with me during the day so I make him go outside. I never thought I would be the one to make a kid stop playing video games.

I have a now have another nephew, I'm getting him an official big wheel this summer to ride around here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At 94 years old, my grandpa spotted a woman being robbed. He walked without hesitation to the 3 young guys who were robbing her and made them go away. My dad is a wimpy blue pill beta buck who doesn't even dare to contradict my mother anymore. I mean, you may be right by saying that our grandfathers were probably the last generation of manly men.

[–]trpMilo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think a lot of it is that their lives are just far enough removed from ours that we romanticize it. We see our dads putting up with things every day, but we don't generally have that level of contact with a grandparent. That and they can fix cars because cars were pretty simple back in the day. I know people are gonna down vote this, but our grandparents lived in the generation where being a hard working beta was still a successfully rewarded role in society.

[–]Chippendork 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My paternal grandfather: Army boxing team, WW2 in Europe, Teller's mathematician on the fusion bomb project, math professor at Berkeley, found a Silver Star when he died, never talked to anybody. I really really wish I had known him. My father... had some spunk early on but worn to the ground, alcoholic.

[–]1-Down 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I admire the hell out of my father. There's lots of reasons, but the main one is that he doesn't quit on a problem until it's solved.

I'm pretty sure he's a mechanical genius.

My grandfathers died on the young side - 60's. It's funny to hear my dad speak of his father because he makes it sound like he forgot more than my dad ever knew. If that's the case, grandpa must have had a damn space program in his garage he put together as a hobby.

[–]anotherbluemarlin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's goddamnright, my grand father is fucking awesome. Went to war at 20, left a leg there, was left to die in a campaign hospital, survived, got back to his home country, had a family, became a successful banker, build half of his house in the country, and still climb in tree with a chainsaw at nearly 80 with only one good leg... He never give a fuck about anything, and go his own way.

[–]autoNFA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my dad turned out alright. He is an immigrant though.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't even have a father, let alone a grandfather or a great grandfather. I'm jealous.

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