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Thinking about letting plate go to be happy (self.asktrp)

submitted by youngbull24

Recently I have been feeling guilty about having one plate wait for commitment knowing I’m not going to give it to her. She waits at my beck and call waiting for us to get serious and go steady and etc. it’s been about 16 months since we first started. Great all around girl smart , beautiful blah blah all the good stuff. She’s basically been trying to prove relationship worthy the whole time and patiently waiting doesn’t talk to other men and is really pushing for a relationship and I just rather stay single and spin plates and I’m starting to feel bad cause she’s believes if she waits long enough she’ll get the relationship. I’m starting to feel heartless and guilt . What’s the Longest you spun a plate for ? Have you ever had similar feelings of guilt ? I’m grateful for any advice or similar stories . Thank you

TLDR : plate has patience


[–]RandomWordsssss 270 points271 points  (12 children)

This is a really awesome selfless thing for you to do, and it goes beyond trp.

You can still be a trp dude and be a good person. Loving somebody for such a long time and wanting more and then never giving it can suck really bad and destroy a person over time.

Props to you bro

[–]bigflame123 97 points98 points  (7 children)

I love this comment bro, we always think being red pulled means being heartless but I admire OP for having integrity to be able to stop leading her on

I know I know, women lead us on, but if a girl is head over heels like this over you, it would shatter her heart knowing she’s just a plate bro

[–]youngbull24[S] 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Yeah , it wasn’t sitting right with my spirt . I felt like scumbag cause 16 months is a long time of course they was a understanding at first and I wasn’t lying or leading her on but after her developing a strong emotion connection it must be hurting her . What if she waits longer 24 months ( 2 years ) and longer after that as she completely closed out her options was the biggest thing to me. I know my other plates are talking to other men and I don’t ask and they don’t tell cause that’s part of the game and they’re allowed to do so but to have someone fixated on me when I didn’t want a relationship felt wrong morally

[–]AlexDD2 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Plot twist: you are her favorite alpha dick/plate. So she wants to make you her beta bitch daddy provider.

[–]youngbull24[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol maybe nothing is impossible , I’ll take it as a Compliment

[–]FrgElder 1 point2 points  (1 child)

24 months ( 2 years )

Thank you for clarifying this.

[–]youngbull24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😘😘😘

[–]orezavi 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Plot twist: she becomes even more attracted to him.

[–]RandomWordsssss 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah and you can absolutely plate girls and also be honest and not try to knowingly hurt them.

[–]Johnnybeachboy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree with this, i'd be fruitless to continue having a plate while morally compromised. It pretty much removes the whole point of having a consistent partner.

[–]youngbull24[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thanks man , it’s kind of weird now thou . Cause I feel like I have to break up with a girl that isn’t my girlfriend

[–]jackandjill22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, you choose how to use TRP's tools. It's amoral. Use it at your discretion.

[–]SilenceOnTheWire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A more realistic explanation is that he got bored of the sex ;)

and perhaps he suspects she might be a bit crazy so he doesn't want to feed that any longer to avoid problems.

[–]fromdario 21 points22 points  (5 children)

This was me in a nutshell.

I was fortunate or smart enough to grab great plates that just were wonderful women.

I would hear men complaining about “AWALT. all women this or that“ and go “well not me, not the women I select”.

TBH, I was right. I found the unicorn a number of times. Ones that would be right to be the mother of my children, but tiny little faults, genetic or otherwise prevented me from LTRing them.

My point being I have been there. Good for you for realizing you want something else and being man enough to admit it and want the best for her as well.

If you actually love/like her then you owe it to her to push her life in the direction she wants, since you’re not going to be part of that life.

If you are a man, a man who strives to bring truth to themselves and the world, you will be honest with her regardless of the consequences because that’s the right choice.

Whatever happens with her you will have a clear conscious.

A lot of guys talk about gaming girls, this and that.

That’s pussy shit, be a fucking man and talk to women honestly.

Be upfront, tell them exactly what you want. The only reason you don’t is because you aren’t a quality enough man and they wouldn’t put up with that shit from you.

Years ago when I didn’t understand this shit, I would play the games to get women and it would work but then I would find myself in difficult relationship issues.

When I started to be completely honest and transparent with women is when my whole game changed. I got a lot more respect and much less hassle, because at every point of our interaction I was myself.

Of course to get to this stage of negotiation I needed a high smv, which I have worked hard to achieve and perhaps it’s an idea I’m repeating but if you have a good product, you can set the price. I have found it true and it had made my dealings with women much more effortless.

Be a good peson and treat a good women with enough respect to point her in the right direction if that isn’t you.

Be well and good luck.

[–]Lambdal7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

TBH, I was right. I found the unicorn a number of times. Ones that would be right to be the mother of my children, but tiny little faults, genetic or otherwise prevented me from LTRing them.

What tiny faults could completely disqualify an otherwise unicorn from an ltr?

[–]fromdario 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One was too short, which matters to me because I would not want my potential children to be small.

Another was incredibly sweet and optimistic but also naive and easily overwhelmed and that worried me for the future as I might not be able to count on her to “hold down the fort”, eg. running a household well.

[–]organicfluxx 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Where do you meet such plates?

[–]fromdario 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One I met literally on the street in my neighborhood and the other through Instagram.

[–]RedHoodhandles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's a lot of text for saying 'I'm high SMV so I can make the rules.'

[–]RemyBucksington 1 points1 points [recovered]

Take my upvote for remembering that red-pilled men are still capable of being good men.

[–]CriticalSoldier 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What good is in letting a person hope for 16 months knowing you had no serious intentions long before that, exactly?

[–]Pluglord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sub is hilarious at times

[–]RolandTheDickslinger 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Your post assumes that “commitment” is a magical thing that will transform her life in a positive way. If that was the case though, why would she have spent 16 months fucking your ass? Either (a) she’s stupid, or (b) she actually enjoys being part of your life even without commitment.

If you unilaterally decide that splitting is better for her, chances are you’ll be making a big mistake. I can assure you: if she had found a better guy for her, she’d have branch swinged by now.

Your decisions should be informed by, but never driven by other people’s desires. If you don’t enjoy seeing her anymore and want a fresh plate, ditch her. But do it for your own sake.

[–]BPasFuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bingo. OP-- if she had a better option, she'd have taken it. It's fine if you want to let her go-- but don't delude yourself.

[–]Andorli 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Dudeeeee...this post could not come in a better time. I recently did something similar. I had to let LTR go because I understood that it wasn't leading anywhere and I could not guarantee meeting her expectations, although I have very strong feelings towards her. Just be a decent human being and do whats right, if you know your goals and expectations are different, just let her go and don't waste her life.

Fuck anybody here who says you should manipulate and keep conversations vague so you get your dick wet. Just be a decent human being, acknowledge that you both want different things and don't lead her on. We demonize women who do it to men yet a lot of people on this sub think it is OK for a guy to do the same.

Don't be one of those people.

[–]mountainbiker178 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think I might be in a similar situation. I've been with my LTR 3 years now with NO intention of marriage, which I know she wants. Would you mind describing how you broke up with your LTR? I assume you just didn't ghost her.

[–]Andorli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been long and very painful, she ended up in a hospital because of stress and mental/physical fatigue. I tried to be as honest and objective as possible and was very patient with her grief. You need to let everything happen and go through all emotions while maintaining frame. I am still not fully realizing the loss since it is so fresh but trust me it will kick in at some point. Only advice is be completely sure this is what's right for both of you, because if you are not, your frame won't last.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K18 26 points27 points  (3 children)

This is great. Having some morals, and integrity, makes us further feel like a prize, and builds self esteem.

We all have a core, where our inherent values are. If we work against them for too long, our self esteem dies.

Spinning plates and all is great. We are normally giving women what they subconsciously want. But getting to.this stage is different.

This is why we say abundance mentality. There are plenty of.other girls to game. You've had your fun, had your needs met. What, are going to sting hem along for 10 years? That's scarcity, when you have to start REALLY fucking people over.

Let her fall, or tell her how it is, and that she is free to leave.

I think it's a great idea. Plenty of abundance out there.

[–]Chad1738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy nailed it. Abundance mentality. If you feel uncomfortable in this situation, it’s time to let her go. Plenty of other women.

[–]Andorli 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We all have a core, where our inherent values are. If we work against them for too long, our self esteem dies.

Beautiful my dude.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. We can't let all our values go, for pussy. That's when we've lost our authenticity.

[–]bigflame123 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Go with your gut feeling but why not try a relationship if she doesn’t have any or many red flags?

It’s up to you but do what feels right, remember AWALT but you can still take a shot at a relationship if she seems worth it

[–]youngbull24[S] 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Just young and my options has opened up Drastically over the last two years . Not quite ready for a relationship . Making up for lost time if you know what I mean

[–]csawyer86 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Making up for lost time is fucking stupid a waste of time. Take it from someone who spent 3 years post divorce fucking everyone I could. I ended up feeling even lonelier .

[–]youngbull24[S] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Maybe so , I’m almost at the 2 year mark and starting to feel lonely sometimes but the majority time still feels great . I’m making a living with my passions , traveling , fucking a lot of women , various hobbies, hanging out with my boys and we all single . Life is great currently and I have time to settle down and try a relationship . You was post divorce so you probably were older then me currently . I’m post jerking off in my dads basement everyday . But I’ll take your advice in consideration

[–]ainihon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

After a while, you’ll see what you really value in your life. But they’re right, this has to be your choice.

[–]whatdidshewrite 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s a decision he has to make by himself though

[–]LucrativeMath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck man this one hits me hard. I’m 35 and am in the process of ending a 5 year LTR that I was living with. What makes it even more complicated is she has a daughter from a previous marriage that I’ve basically become the father to (biodad is a loser and pretty much out of the picture).

I just moved back in with my mom to get back on my feet before finding my own place (still on apartment lease with LTR, need to straighten out some financial issues).

I make good money, take care of myself, am well respected and liked in my social circle and at work, look a lot younger than I am, and get a lot of positive attention from women (yes I know how to read IOIs).

I spent most of my 20s wasting time hanging out with friends and working bullshit jobs to get by. I had a few LTRs, but never really played the game or spun plates (was too intimidated by the type of women I wanted, always felt like a monogamous type of guy).

Now that I’m 35 and on the way out of a pretty serious LTR, I feel like I need to fuck all the girls that I missed out on along the way. I feel like I need to get the nice bachelor pad apartment in the city, nice car, and nice clothes and play the game for a couple years before settling down. But something about that feels empty to me. Like I’d be digging myself into a deeper hole of loneliness and depression.

Maybe I sound like a bitch for saying this, but all I ever really wanted was to have a happy family with a decent woman. I grew up in a family with a sister who was 8 years older than me and parents who divorced when I was 11. My dads family is in Europe and my moms family is on the other side of the country. So I grew up pretty isolated. That probably explains why I crave a tight knight family of my own.

Felt kinda good to type all that out.

Are you back in an LTR now? What’s your current status? Do you have any words of advice for someone in my current situation?

[–]WizardSenpai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

even if it doesn't work out its not like youre gonna hit the wall anytine soon. youve probably got anoth 30 years to fuck girls in their 20s

[–]embracingtheredpill 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm going to disagree with everyone else on this post. This has nothing to do with integrity, or being a good man, or values. This has to do with your guilt and your ability to deal with it.

Congratulations, you've reached that point in life very few men get to be at and most red pill men want to be at. You've succesfully spun a plate for 16 months. This is very rare and long time to spin a plate.

What you're describing, however, seems to be more in the wheelhouse of a...OLTR? MLTR? I thing the former, although if someone could clarify that better that'd be great. A place where you're spinning plates and not leading them on, and one of the plates lets you know she's there to be your LTR whenever you want, in whatever situation you want, and voluntarily gives you exclusivity without expecting it in return. That's the dream.

I've been where you've been at, though obviously not for 16 months, which is a long time. Usually the girl gets the hint or these things fizzle out. Plates are meant to be broken. I get the guilt that you're speaking of. At this point you have a decision to make.

Firstly, her desire for a relationship is not your problem. You may experience this atleast a few more times as you spin plates for longer and longer, the same situation playing itself out over and over again. She will want a relationship, and try to nag or force you into it, and even if she doesn't do that, she'll be constantly making herself available, dropping hints etc. This is not your problem. Just like your happiness is your responsibility, her happiness is hers. Women need men for their emotional stability, but if she doesn't feel happy, she'll have to make that choice whether to continue waiting for you to commit or move on. What you're describing is also, like, a very common place scenario, I'd be very surprised if you haven't come across it in media, or on here, or your friend's stories. About the girl waiting and waiting for the alpha to commit, to keep hoping, but never to get it. Women do it to men. Men do it to women. It'll keep happening, its commonplace, and its not that big a deal.

Secondly, as stated above, your happiness is your problem, you're going to experience this again and this happens fairly frequently. Your problem is your feeling of guilt, not your desire for a relationship. You're just going to have man up and bite the bullet and deal with your emotions. Why do you feel guilty when you have no reason to? You haven't been leading her on, you've made yourself very clear. You can't control her emotions. You know what you want in life. Your guilt is understandable but unjustified. Get rid of it. This is not a conscience problem of values, this is a problem of your bp self feeling that he needs to justify his emotions and life decisions by the expectation of others as opposed to your own set of thoughts, goals and valules. As long as you remain a polite, overall good person to this person, you have no reason to feel guilty and should learn now, at this very crucial stage, to deal with that. People often have emotions and expectations related to you, and no matter how long you know them or closely you may feel linked to them, you can take it into consideration but not let that direct your life. You've already made clear in the comments that you're not looking for a relationship rn. You're doing that for you, and that's ok, and that doesn't need to change because of her feelings.

Thirdly, while you may not want a relationship, as others have pointed out, she seems to be a quality gal. Remember, women express their love for you through acts of service, and if she's serving you well and in other ways is good, you need to reward her for it. Don't make her an LTR, but move her up the ladder of plates, while making clear you'll never be exclusive. Women would rather share a high quality man than be with a low quality one. This shit happens all the time. It just means you're doing well. Give her more of your time and trust, make her feel great, more than a plate, but follow standard rules on engagement so as to not make her complacement. You're in the sweet spot. Don't mess it up for yourself. I have, and I learned from it, and now I do it less, and know the problem is your thought process, not her.

So keep spinning her or break her, but know that that's her problem, and that your guilt is your own, and that, well, you're not confornting and dealing with your emotion of guilt is the real problem. Move her up the ladder. If she's been as good as you say she has, she deserves it. Use her as a model for your plates. They'll learn quickly.

[–]richarddbuckley4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If she’s so good then why don’t you LTR her? The way you’re describing her hints that you have some sort of feeling towards her. Also ask yourself whether you will always be satisfied spinning plates, you might regret letting her go one day.

[–]TheLegionnaire00 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm doing some popcorn until /u/GayLubeOil reply to this.

[–]Cross_De_Lena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahah. Me to.

[–]Tiway22 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Why don’t you try making her your main gf and have a one sided open relationship?

[–]Andorli 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This is a horrible idea and it leads to misery. With time she will get more invested, he will feel more guilt, she will get more hurt and resent him and so the cycle will go on until they both break. Don't do this. Just cut contact with her.

[–]Fadeshyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. If she is so infatuated with you then it is worth a shot.

[–]Kommanderdude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you been stringing her along and implying that if she waits she’ll get commitment? If not then don’t worry about it.

Remember she’s choosing to wait on you for commitment and she’s choosing to prove her worth to you. Trying to cut her loose will drive her hamster crazy and make her want you even more. FYI this could play out with her going full stalker psycho and killing you so other women can’t have you.

[–]AmazonAlphaMale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been spinning a plate for a year. I would describe her as everything you mentioned. Until I went threw her phone. That proved me wrong.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wouldn’t recommend crashing a good plate like that on your own, I would typically let them crash and let the plate-relationship run its course. I’ve been with one of my mine for 2 years now, she’s came a long way cause im grooming her for an LTR, but she will never be good enough (too many red flags). im still leaving her better than I found her. just hasn’t crashed yet.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 4 points5 points  (11 children)

Her feelings are hers to deal with. Why are you judging your own actions based on her feelings?

Where's the incongruity here? She knows the deal? You know the deal?

Why are you so pretentious you feel you need to save her and spare her?

Jeese there's some blue pill faggotry getting up voted in this post.

[–]blancstare 1 point2 points  (10 children)

I'm in a similar position as the OP and I think his incongruity stems from a clash between his values and what is commonly preached through the manosphere. I agree that her emotions are hers to deal with, but only to an extent. If he, as a man, places value in leaving a positive impact on others, then taking steps in line with that value might be just as important as sexual gratification.

My father raised me to be mindful of the impact I have on others. He always cautioned me against being taken advantage of, but he taught me that there are times where a man has to make sacrifices for what he believes in. By the same token, fundamental principles of the red pill dictate the same ideas (e.g., leave women better than you found them, be the leader, etc.). If we can't expect women to know what is truly best for them, and we shoulder the burden of leadership, then there may come a time when it's best for both parties to cut ties. If OP believes in compassion, then he should be willing to sacrifice his sexual desires to grow as a compassionate man.

A true leader doesn't place his base desires above those of the group. And here, the relevant group is men everywhere. Leaving a woman hopelessly spun up in a situation she doesn't have the willpower to cut off on her own can lead her to resent men in the future. It can lead her to resent you too for not taking the reins and pulling the horse aside. I don't need to spell out why this is bad.

I see where you're coming from in regards to your "blue pill faggotry" comment, but an ad hominem attack on someone asking for advice isnt helpful. We are all here to learn. It's not like he's asking some basic question that could be answered by a quick skim through the sidebar.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 1 point2 points  (9 children)

Redpill is amoral. I say again, Redpill is amoral. Nowhere does it say leave women better than you left them. Nowhere.

Rule zero is paramount. Get the sex you want.

Leadership is a matter of style. You have yours I have mine. But the fact is there's no correct way to lead. Sure some styles work better than others in different situations but in the end its style. In an LTR we tell guys to lead to build value. But this isn't an LTR.

All these guys were making moral judgements, "oh so glad to hear a Redpill man have a conscience", blah blah blah but that's not Redpill. Hence the faggotry comment. Not to mention all the fucks who are like "LTR her!"

Our OP missed the forest for the trees. He caught feelz and forgot how to correctly assess the situation.

The situation is simple. Why does he feel he's responsible for her feelings? Why is her feelings causing him to judge his own behavior. He's the only one who can. He's wanting to white night her from himself! Do you see the problem?

He's laid down the rules of engagement to her and she's throwing a massive fucking shit test and comfort test to get him to change them. I'm not saying he can't, but he has to do that because he wants to, not because he feels guilty.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFeralRed 1 point2 points  (5 children)

This. 100% this.

You bloopers upvoting feel good moralistic bullshit is exactly why you should be watching flaired comments, NOT upvotes.

There is zero redpill content in this sad tale.

"Protect the poor woman from herself." Do you see how patronizing that comment is?

You're assuming that you know what's best for her, you arrogant asshole.

[–]blancstare 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I agree it's stupid and arrogant to assume you know what's best for everyone. But I'm looking at this as a decision of what OP thinks is ultimately best for OP. Some guys could be in the same boat and not give two shits. But OP doesn't seem like one of those guys. That's not good or bad, it just is.

Would you agree with the following?

Nobody is responsible for engaging every shit test thrown at them. If OP wants to ignore it and remove himself from the situation, he should.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFeralRed 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Exactly.

Redpill is figuring out what you want to do, and doing it.

Sounds easy, right?

It's not.

Look at OP... wrapping the decision in chivalry/knighthood/and guilt. Putting his assumed needs of what the girl wants above his own desires....why? To get martyrdom? Sympathy? It worked... look at all the upvotes praising him for being "good" and "moral" and "not that guy".... those are all societal values and judgments.

That's why so very few are able to actually swallow the pill, the programming to be a good plow horse, a valuable member of society, etc. is very deeply and subversively programmed into us, to the point where we actually believe the programming is our own....Inception-ish.

[–]blancstare 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Craving validation is one of the most common flaws. OP thinks he wants input, but what he subconsciously craved was validation of his moral compass. I'm not perfect, but I figured out the best way to adopt TRP principles was to read what I knew to be good (books from the manosphere, SEC/EC posts, etc.), apply it, fail, and try again. Too many guys get hung up on perfection when they really need to go fail. That desire for perfection stems from insecurity and a scarcity mentality and needs to be tossed aside.

There's an unfortunate negative feedback loop thats been happening around here. New guys flooded the TRP subs looking for answers, but the majority of posters/commenters are themselves newbies speaking out of turn. Blind leading the blind.

It would be nice to have some place to discuss ALL aspects of masculinity though. Sexual strategy (amoral) and personal purpose (moral).

[–]Endorsed ContributorFeralRed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Start your own sub... moralTRP.

It's been done before. Many times. All die horrible deaths, most are stillborn.

What happens is the site creator inflicts his own moral rules onto everybody. Guess what? Everyone's morals are different, and arguing about who's morals are more moral is as useful as pissing into the wind. The sub devolves into circlejerking, and the creator banns everybody.

Personal purpose is what TRP is about... the tricky part is extracting what you want to do from the miasma of what you've been programmed to do. Where do morals come from?

There will always be the newbie flood. In a way that's why these subs exist. To guide. To awaken. Many fail, that's to be expected, separating the wheat from the chaff is hard work, but if you just toss out all the grain, your village dies.

That's why the points system doesn't work with "unpopular" subs, and why the flair system was instituted instead. The main site has a "respect the tag" on the sidebar that's a good read.

[–]blancstare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at all interested in starting my own sub. There's too much vitriol on Reddit to get something productive going, but it would be interesting to see where other TRP-ers (and by that I mean guys that have actually swallowed the pill) fall in terms of morality. A lot of people here seem to think that following TRP precludes morals, but the two are completely different.

Thanks for the rec. I'll definitely re-read the "respect the tag" post, been a few years. Always great to chat with a cool dude.

[–]blancstare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with most of what you've said (99% sure there were some flaired posts on the main sub talking about leaving women better than you found them, but I could be wrong). I was worries that my comment could come across as condoning the sort of White Knight bullshit you illustrated. It's not about whether or not what he's doing is really harming her. It's about whether or not it's harming him.

To clarify, I wasn't saying that the pursuit of virtues independent of sexual selection concerns TRP theory at all. Instead, I was trying to say that his question ultimately involves matters outside the domain of TRP. Given that sexual strategy (and hence, TRP) are amoral at their core, questions starting with "is it right for me to..." are generally outside the purview of TRP (by "right" I mean the word in the moral context and not as an indicator of objective correctness).

Your very last line is accurate though. TRP theory only squarely fits into OP's question insofar as asking whether or not he's getting the sexual satisfaction he wants. Anything else involving values only tangentially involves TRP because of one of the core principles of the ideology: personal growth and betterment. This isn't the appropriate forum to opine over what values are good and ought to be pursued (notwithstanding the fact that I'm skeptical that there's any objectivity when it comes to what is "good"). But, my point was that if OP views "positive impact on others" as a value that is "good" then he should cut things off with this chick if he thinks that's what is right. Otherwise he risks all sorts of incongruence, which is what it seems like he's dealing with now.

TRP requires every man move towards personal growth. However, what constitutes "personal growth" isn't set in stone for the most part. That empty space is where we, as humans, need to decide what morals to accept. Sexual strategy is amoral, humans aren't. I really appreciate your response though. I love engaging with guys that know their shit, so correct me if I'm totally missing something here.

[–]CockyAndHot 1 points1 points [recovered]

I'd rather be moral than your description of red pill. Extreme comments like yours is why the red pill looks bad and is notoriously hated in the mainstream.

Redpill is amoral. I say again, Redpill is amoral.

Rule zero is paramount. Get the sex you want.

That sounds awfully rapey.

If you set morals aside, and make sex the top priority, then rape seems like a great option, hence Ghengis Khan did what he did.

[–]ModTheRedPike[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can be moral all you want, just don't bring it here. Only warning.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've let a plate go for very similar reasons. We dated for almost a year, and it ended with her extremely sad about my unwillingness to commit. We started up again a year later, and her friends mentioned that she hadn't really dated anyone that whole time. Again we dated for about 8 months, and I realized we were going down the same path as before. Basically, she knew I didn't want to commit, but I knew her so well sexually that any other guy she tried to date wouldn't have had a fair chance. I felt very guilty. Recognizing that she would just sort of string herself along with me, I let our dates dissipate little by little. This way she got the point and was able to save face as not being dumped but instead us growing apart.

It's been a good 8 months now, and I've heard that she's been dating at least one guy. There have been moments where I crave her. However, knowing that the craving is just a fleeting sexual urge, I refrain from hitting her up. I genuinely hope she finds someone great who will commit.

[–]pickyourselfupman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be honest, upfront and drop her man, IMO.

[–]look_up_there 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your just overthinking it. Be a man, trust your gut and do what you feel is right. And then never look back. Simple as that

[–]Mangasbzo7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you have been upfront with her and told her you not interested in relationship then what is there to feel remotely any guilt about?

If she really wants a relationship eventually she will realize pushing you for one is going nowhere and she will go off and find one. Remember Hypergamy never sleeps! Just spin her while you can, and set up another plate to replace her when she drops.

[–]amwfhunter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a plate like that a long time ago. Cute 20 some year old latina girl. Amazing body. Really tight and small girl. She was crazy in bed and loved sex. She was really into me. I got scared I knocked her up because at the time I had a wife and girlfriend. I told her straight up I wont ever be her boyfriend and she has to get in line (she worked so hard to compete).
Over time I was single with just the girlfriend (who also knew about the wife), no wife, and this plate among others. In the end I told her I'll never be her boyfriend or husband.

She was only 22 or so by the time I decided to end things with her. She still can find a man who loves her and whatever....blue pill stuff

At first she was cool with just having sex coz it was so good but then after she is like " I cant be just your fuck toy forever especially that u told me u will never be my boyfriend". The sex continued for like 6 months on and off after she said that. Eventually she realized because I had put my foot down again to the point where I had to be a douche and would just send her texts like hey wanna fuck? Even when I became single. She said no a few times but when I showed up the panties dropped.

Eventually I blocked her on everything.

[–]mega_kook 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This is a difficult story for sure. Just to clarify have you already let her go or still debating it? Respect to you for caring about her perspective either way.

[–]youngbull24[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I haven’t done it yet . I was debating and the response has made up my mind . Plenty of women out there . I’ll be fine

[–]markinsinz7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course there's another irony though that once you do in fact give her the relationship some few months after a breakup could be easily imminent. Why? Cause maybe she loved the chase more. And once she got what she wanted she no longer cares much to have it. A heartbreaking irony - but only a possibility.

I also like many other posters suspect she has atleast 1 other guy in her life. It's damn hard to be just a plate for someone while there's plenty of options these days. My cynism wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't getting some dick on the side.

Good for you though if what you've said is true. Sometimes I wonder if I'll reach that stage where I can pull such a thing off.

[–]mega_kook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good mindset to have. Good luck out there brother!

[–]EXandRR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TRP is to promote sexual strategy, not sexual selfishness. Good on you man.

[–]Emerald__Faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't this the true meaning of

If you love them, let them go

A wise saying I think!

[–]rAFCdadHUSBAND 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you having strong game, and a conscience too.

[–]Totsean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep on gf, that probably is queue for LTR, we are close to 3 year relationship, she doesn't want to marry yet.. but wants a baby when she is 28.

However, I just fuck girls whenever I feel like it, i don't see them again, I just do one night stands. Way easier, seriously, just pump and dump and get new pussy.

[–]redpillparis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a good man for having conscience. Let her go. Don't waste her valuable years. Let her find someone who she is looking for and have kids with.

[–]dani098 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell her you’re in a relationship, give her all the attention and then later break up with you. That’s how you get rid of them

[–]ComplexProjection 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Did she tell you she wants your exclusive commitment? From your post, I have the feeling you are assuming that girls need monogamous males devoted to them to be happy. That's bluepilled.

I've had girls happy with me banging around, proving them each time that they were right by choosing me.

Don't make a choice for her, be honest with her, and let her take decisions.

[–]ComplexProjection 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the fuck are all those comments in here. Is this still TRP?

[–]LilLoserFreny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m failing to to see the issue.

[–]soundnpound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am new to this sub and it is genuinely incredibly uplifting to see that the general consensus is sensible advice saying he should cut her off for her own good.

I have to admit I was expecting a wall of locker room talk telling the guy he had it made, and that he could string her along getting sexual favours along the way.

This actually warmed my cold cynical heart.

It's good to see red pillers being considerate and spreading positivity.

[–]Lambdal7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just tell her that you dont want to be ezclusive. She’ll Probably still want to see you from time to time. Win win.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gave up the sweetest most giving girl I've been with because she was 26 and I knew she wanted a family. I had no intention for a few years yet. So, despite and because I did love her I let her go.

[–]Terdmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's good to not intentionally lead her on a lie about what you want. I'm not a big fan of pre-emptive measures like this, however. She enjoys your time together and so do you so why not continue? If she believes that you'll eventually want a relationship then that's not really your problem. If you want to do it out of the altruistic nature of your heart then that's fine, but you've made your intentions known and she's still sticking around. It's often said to look at her actions not her words.

About a year ago I had a Fwb of 12 months drop out of the blue saying she wanted a relationship and family and I didn't blah blah. I understood. The next day she was FBO with another guy and was shortly thereafter engaged to him. I thought for sure she wasn't seeing anyone else and was still holding out hope I'd commit. My advice would be to stay with her until she finds another guy (she will) and then wish her the best of luck.

[–]organicfluxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you meet her?

[–]furcryingoutloud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You deserve huge props for being a true man. But here are some things you have not mentioned and I just thought you need to at least think about. There is a very fine line between love and hate. Women will cross that line without even knowing it. Today she loves you to death. Let her go and you could be creating the next al'Quaeda bitch boss who might ruin your life.

The questions to ask yourself before you drop this bomb. How much does she know about you? Sit down and think of all the small details that she knows that could be a problem for you. If there aren't any, hey, that's great dude. But if there is anything, anything at all she could use to hurt you, take it into consideration. Most unicorns turn into extremely vindictive animals when hurt.

I surely hope that if you do release her, she'll find another carousel horsey and be done with you. But if there is anything she can use to hurt you, batten down your hatches and be prepared to ride out a storm.

Again, I really, really hope I'm wrong.

[–]animalapemachine 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hey bro you know women will do it to you two women will spend you as a plate sucking tens of thousands of dollars off of you for dinners and trips and hotels and things at the beach and MDMA and rafting and diamonds and pearl necklaces and then they go all I just don't want to hurt his feelings song why don't you just fall in love with her and give her the Disney Princess treatment

[–]youngbull24[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Idk what you mean brother . I can’t tell if your being sarcastic or not

[–]animalapemachine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sir, I retracted the rambling comment. It was sarcastic enough to blur my point. Cheers

[–]AnewENTity 1 points1 points [recovered]

What the fuck is a plate

[–]youngbull24[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Read the sidebar mate