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Sexuality phenomena (self.asktrp)

submitted by FPLWizard

I used to be gay. As in, I was 90% attracted to males, and was only sexually attracted to the very top tier of females.

After lifting for 10 months, this is no longer the case. I’m no longer sexually attracted to males and only like girls.

Does anyone know why this is? What the fuck happened? Did I increase my testosterone through lifting to the point where my entire sexuality changed? Has anyone else has a similar experience? In my opinion this a very ‘red pill’ phenomena as the modern media and society will tell you you’re ‘born this way’ and you ‘can’t change your sexuality’, yet my case completely goes against this idea. I personally believe gays are moulded into being gay by their environment, hell, literally every gay I know has daddy issues, every single one. The idea that lifting/increasing my T changed me from gay to straight almost seems like a more extreme case of going from a beta -> alpha through the gym/self improvement.

Sidenote: I’m 20, I realised I was gay at about 13 and believed I was so until I was 19. Being gay for this period in my opinion massively helped me from a trp perspective. It also helped me realise what makes a man attractive and mold myself on that. The gay world is shallow and I took care of myself to be the best looking I can be. I am however happy that my sexuality has changed, no matter what anyone tells you being gay is not a good thing.


[–]Aurora921 79 points80 points  (13 children)

Let me start by asking if you grew up with a single mom?

[–]FPLWizard 49 points50 points  (8 children)

This is interesting and an extremely valid question.

Myself, sort of. My dad worked away for the first 8-9 years of my life and I only saw him on weekends, I believe this lack of a masculine figure in my life 100% contributed to it and was borderline the reason I was the way I was. To add, Every. Single. Gay. I know of grew up with a single mother/had an abusive father, with zero exceptions. I don’t know one gay that grew up in a healthy family with a solid father figure in their life.

[–]CRGRO 16 points17 points  (5 children)

It's interesting because you end up with a complex situation in which your mother's feminine insticts are always projected on you consciously or unconsciously; so in other words, the feminine aspect of yourself developed first because it was just her, and you understood heterosexuality through the lense she understood it through, in consequence you end up overshadowing your masculinity yet unconsciously seek it in other men that would have represented positive / negative thoughts regarding your own father. It's not all that uncommon - congratulations on the beginning of endeavouring in completing yourself as an individual. It wouldn't surprise me if you also have an extreme capacity for friendship, good taste, or would make for a great teacher given the positive aspects that would have developed because of what happened.

[–]FPLWizard 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have a separate theory about my sexuality that I completely missed out in this post. Whilst I didn’t necessarily 100% lack a father figure (I saw him on weekends etc) what I never had was a brother. I always wanted a brother, badly. I feel like this lack of a brotherly figure in my life was a big factor in what made me gay. I wanted another boy (not necessarily a man) in my life that I could be close to.

[–]gogoshica 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you ever considered the theory where a gay man identifies with his mother more because hes gay?

It seems to me that you are confusing the effect with the cause

[–]redaftrp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is it weird I hypothesized this same theory? Just seems like feminism equates to extinction.

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any resources on integrating the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself?

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I fucking hated my father. Honestly I feel like I would have been better off with a single mother household. Or I may have ended up in jail who knows. Being a natural alpha type having a tyrant abuser for a father made me fear authority and punishment for a good portion of my youth. I would probably have done all sorts of criminal shit because I did not have it in me inherently to obey the will of other people, it was completely nonsensical to me and having a cucked blue pill school system try to control me or drug me would have likely turned violent. Instead I simply learned how to keep my head down and stay under the radar.

[–]Aurora921 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am not trying to conjure up a theory as I have no real expertise in this field. It is just a commonality I have noted with my gay friends, so it might be a factor. There might be a hundred other factors, including genetics.

[–]LPSchneider 13 points14 points  (3 children)

To provide an alternative perspective, I also grew up with a single mom and was hyper-attracted to girls from a very young (preschool) age. I was often criticized in elementary and early middle school for being too sexual and obsessed with girls. Maybe the non-traditional family can swing a kid to either extreme.

[–]dtyler86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat. Raised almost exclusively by my mom, little from my dad that I saw on weekends and heavily influenced by two older sisters and no brothers. Boy did that backfire. In my social circles I avoid talking about TRP too much, but I’m the alpha by a light year of a margin, thanks to my overly feminizing mother and sisters in my upbringing. Was all about sex and boobs, asses, etc. since I was in maybe 2nd grade

[–]imtheoneimmortal 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I had similar situation, i wasn't attracted to girls cuz of super low testosterone (also cuz of medicaments) and increased in the last year, i think is about hormone balance and others factors

[–]Velebit 15 points16 points  (4 children)

You were never gay. You were bi. Bisexual people have swings in what they are attracted to. Recently met a bi girl who almost exclusively dates women and recently had a guy phase.

That is not unusual and hardly related to testosterone and don't speculate unless you test your blood levels.

What probably shifted you is that you have a very superficial and empty sexuality and view everything in terms of rawest hierarchy.

So you fetishized the symbolic masculine embodied by meat. Once you identify yourself with meaty room level iq idea of masculinity, you no longer feel the need or attraction to external source of additional masculinity.

[–]gogoshica 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This sounds accurate.OP was never gay.He seems more like a wimpy guy who had so little experience/confidence with women that he started idolizing men (aka what he wanted to become).

[–]FPLWizard -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is completely wrong. I’ll explain my situation further. I never was attracted to masculine men (or ‘what I wanted to become’) I was attracted to guys younger/shorter/less muscular than me that had the pretty boy look. I never ‘started’ idolising men, I always fancied pretty looking guys since I can remember even thinking sexual. I only just recently ‘started’ being attracted to women.

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is actually a very interesting concept. Can you expand on that, for both genders?

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t really attracted to ‘masculinity’ ever though, I’ve never been attracted to older/more masculine men, it’s always been younger pretty looking guys.

[–]Small_Cock_Simon 27 points28 points  (5 children)

Just to clarify

When you say “I was gay” does that mean you were having gay sex with other guys?

Fascinating stuff but I think this is relevant

[–]FPLWizard 20 points21 points  (4 children)

I was almost exclusively attracted to males, I was young so I never took that step to have sex with another Male but I can’t say I wouldn’t have if one was attractive enough to me, accessible and of similar age. Now the thought of it almost knocks me sick.

[–]HomoVulgaris[🍰] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

By "attracted to males", do you mean like you were exclusively looking at gay porn, or you had recurring fantasies about men, or something else? I realize this is private information but yours is a really fascinating case.

[–]FPLWizard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did exclusively look at gay porn during this period and only had fantasies about other guys yes. (I’m open to all questions don’t worry!)

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Would you have gone up to him or would you have waited for him to come up to you?

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would’ve been a mutual thing, a lot of the gay world revolves around dating apps, that’s the only way I could’ve seen it happen.

[–]HobbitProstitute 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hmm, I doubt you can change sexuality with testosterone because surely it would have been discovered already. I'm gay and know lots of gay guys who are huge and live in the gym. Sexuality is weird.

[–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If you don't mind me asking, did you suffer any sexual abuse or father issues prior to realizing you are gay?

[–]HobbitProstitute 1 points1 points [recovered]

Ask away! My upbringing was far from perfect, but no sexual abuse. No real fathers issues until after I realised. And even then as a young boy I was very curious. Freud's wet dream I guess. I am the 4th youngest sibling and the 3rd male, I remember reading somewhere about that being a factor in determining sexuality. My older brothers are both straight...

[–]SilenceOnTheWire 32 points33 points  (13 children)

Does anyone know why this is? What the fuck happened? Did I increase my testosterone through lifting to the point where my entire sexuality changed?

Incresing your testosterone doesn't change your sexuality. If you give testosterone to a gay man that is only going to make him more gay.

In my opinion 2 things can be happening here:

  1. You are bisexual and you have been oscilating between the two poles (bi-cycle). Perhaps now that you've discovered TRP that made you develop your masculine side more
  2. You have always been heterosexual but because of a possible lack of confidence you might have used men in the past as a replacement for women (perversion).

If in your experiences with men you enjoyed both top and bottom odds are it's option 1).

Out of curiosity, was there ever a phase where you thought yourself to be asexual?

[–]FPLWizard 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Interesting, I’m open to both these being a possibility, albeit them being sub-conscious, and yes, there was a period I genuinely thought I was asexual, a short period, it was in between the time when I thought I was gay and then straight, almost like a transition between the two.

Sidenote: I only really ‘discovered’ trp recently (past month), I don’t believe trp to be the main influence on my sexuality/discovering my masculinity, but perhaps it helped further my masculinity.

[–]SilenceOnTheWire 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Right. Did you experience any kind of attraction during your asexual phase? Perhaps something between romantic and sexual, but not quite either? If so, did you feel that way towards men or women?

[–]FPLWizard 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I still found people attractive during that phase (men and women) but didn’t find them sexually attractive, I had no desire to fuck either. Interestingly though, I still masturbated during that time.

[–]SilenceOnTheWire 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Was it kind of a romantic attraction, but more the contemplative type?

Where these men and women masculine and feminine leaning (respectively) or more in-between types, tomboy types perhaps in the case of the women?

[–]FPLWizard 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Always feminine. I wasn’t attracted to masculine men whatsoever, I was attracted to young pretty boy looking guys and girls that other people would typical find attractive.

[–]rambler429 1 points1 points [recovered]

As a 100% straight dude, I can tell you that I can look at a man who is attractive and say wow, that is a really good looking guy, but not have an interest in him sexually or romantically.

I also like women who have short hair, and have that sort of tomboy look about them.

So you're saying you were attracted to the more androgynous looking males?

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes exactly, which was good because a lot of young gay guys naturally have that androgynous look anyway.

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Number 2 would make sense. Getting laid is surely much easier for gay guys, so a bi guy increasing his SMV could make him more interested in women (because he knows it's more achievable now).

[–]SilenceOnTheWire 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Number 2 would make sense.

Unless he enjoys being a bottom. If so he's either gay or bi.

I agree.

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

idk how it is for bi guys, but even if he enjoys being a bottom, but he ALSO enjoys fucking girls, then anything which makes it easier to fuck girls (higher SMV) might shift his preferences towards straight

[–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Incresing your testosterone doesn't change your sexuality. If you give testosterone to a gay man that is only going to make him more gay.

Yes more testosterone turns you into one of the Village People...

[–]FvckYourSafeSpace 1 points1 points [recovered]

Actually he’s right in that blasting steroids puts your libido through the roof, often into the realms of depravity.

[–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was only joking. Also I am of the age where the testosterone is already massively dropped from teenage levels so most females are just meh to me at this stage. Their mind tricks and siren calls don’t have as much affect on me as the younger fellows here.

[–]lukkassu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This story reminds me of the concept of Pederasty in ancient Greece where young men would be taken under the wing of an elder until they were ready to spread their wings.

Not something I would want to be a part of, but it worked for their society

[–]AceroInoxidable 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Seems fake and following a conservative agenda.

[–]FPLWizard -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you’d like evidence I can provide it (not quite sure how) but no agenda here, just explaining my situation as I believe it’s relevent to trp.

[–]adhdrp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had both what you have, and the opposite. Let me explain.

I've always been straight, but I never really "got it" like most do. Having casual sex made me more attracted to women, as did going to the gym. So I somewhat experienced what you did.

Paradoxically, drinking makes me a little more attracted to women and it makes me bisexual. We really are just our neurochemistry.

[–]LikeWoahShawty 1 points1 points [recovered]

There is no chance at all that lifting weights causes you to become heterosexual. The most likely cause is you were homosexual because of some type of inner psychological confidence issue with women. Lifting weights can increase your confidence, and its likely you didnt feel capable of getting women, but once you felt good for women, you no longer felt the need to be homosexual.

[–]gogoshica 1 points1 points [recovered]

having confidence issues with women doesn't turn you gay ,lol

it turns you into a cuck who lacks confidence to talk with women

[–]LikeWoahShawty 1 points1 points [recovered]

It seems to have been a factor in his case.

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always felt good enough for women honestly. I’m probably over confident and borderline cocky. I have too much success on shit like tinder to the point that it’s inflated my ego to unparalleled levels. lol.

[–]Musicgoon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

My buddies and I used to have a term ," convenience gay". It's when a guy is either too shy or too horny to game chicks, he just decides to opt for dick. He wasn't gay and still isn't just goes for it.

That being said you never know what you like until you try it. When I was younger I dated a chubby white girl with huge tits. Not my thing. But after bedding her now I love chubby girls and huge tits. Before that it was only skinny girls.

Back in my 20's when I was in FL I knew a bunch of gay guys and some of them were Hella jacked. One of them would take 2 grams of testosterone a week. But still had 0 interest in women.

I think you awoke something dormant in you. You may also enjoy the chase and conquest. At any rate, good for you bro!

[–]Velebit 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I tried chubby girls and my dick will have none of it.

[–]Musicgoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe it. Breifly plated a tall skinny chick with short curly hair. And I couldn't ever get it up more than 40%. Attraction is a weird thing.

I've banged a few plates that have killer bodies but a wretched face...its the ugliness that makes it hot and taboo. And one of these days I want to legit pipe a midget. That one seems like a rare find.

[–]AnDuToit 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Sexuality is fluid. You don't necessarily have the same preferences throughout your life.

[–]Sammy_Jankiss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think more people need to realise this.

[–]xgozax 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think in the real world there are people that are definitely born gay and some that are molded by their environment. I can’t say which is more prominent though but I have come across both.

[–]AceMav21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you do anything with a dude? If not you weren’t gay. It was prob a repressive mechanism against you installed against masculinity & and the fact you might not have gotten bitches. If so then yeah you were prob just gay.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sidenote: I’m 20, I realised I was gay at about 13 and believed I was so until I was 19.

More likely an effect of hormonal changes with puberty then.

[–]maljo24 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, you could be a liar?

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bit of an odd story to just make up. They’ll always be skeptics I guess.

[–]Corporation_Pull-in 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If anything the gym made me "more gay" and made the male physique more attractive for me... no homo.

[–]DiosJ 3 points4 points  (5 children)

2 weeks ago i lurked into the steroids subreddit. Many of them claim when they are on roids, they get more attracted to man. So i don't think it has something to do with ur T-Levels.

[–]Velebit -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Evidence shows gay people have more testosterone.

[–]aanarchist 5 points6 points  (3 children)

If you really think about it, the manliest thing you can possibly do is fuck another dude in the ass.

[–]Velebit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hierarchy is not what being male is about.

[–]MakoShark93 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Get the fuck outta here.

[–]tallwheel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I upvoted this just cuz it made me LOL.

[–]jeremiek97 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Normally you are born gay or not. You cannot become gay

[–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say that with the current social atmosphere there are probably a lot of people who have decided that they are gay or trans or whatever, largely just because it has become more socially accepted, and they want to be different or edgy or whatever. Maybe they have some confusing sexual desires, and they falsely decide that they are gay or whatever. In previous times such people were more likely to ignore such thoughts and just go back to getting boners from looking at chicks.

[–]aanarchist -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Then you haven't been paying attention to what's going on in your society, nor do you have an understanding of psychology and social engineering.

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting

[–]INNASKILLZ2K18 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm more curious as to what you find/found attatactive in a guy. What you mould yourself on, now.

Always good to get a very unique opinion.

[–]FPLWizard 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I mean that in the sense of fashion, hairstyles, grooming, etc, I understand what makes a man attractive, most straight men have no fucking clue and have awful fashion sense and an awful excuse for a haircut which completely ruins their SMV.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok...what sorta fashion sense and hair cuts you like? All info is good info, lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this topic related to women who get married to a guy, have kids, get divorced, and then go into a relationship with a woman when they're older? I know two cases personally that are like this

[–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I guess you could say that you "lifted the gay away"? :)

[–]PolesWithGoals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aye good for you

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s plenty of high T males that are gay.

[–]Corporation_Pull-in 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take a look at the case of Mark Kroc, a bodybuilder and former Marine (basically an embodiment of the male "badass" stereotype) who around age 40 decided to become a woman.

[–]pickyourselfupman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you do anything other than just lift?

Like NoFap, watch porn with women in it, meet a woman you find attractive, etc.?

It’s interesting that you believe simply working out for 10 months jacked up your testosterone and made you not gay. Not saying you’re wrong, but I would think it would be something else since a lot of gay guys seem like gym rats.

[–]LarrySelllers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) you are young and your sexuality and your understanding of your sexuality is pretty fluid at this age.

2) Gay guys, per capita, go to the gym and work out harder than straight guys. Having an aesthetic body is more important as a gay guy than it is for straight guys (seriously) .

I would't think that from increasing your muscle mass and getting more testosterone would change your sexuality, that just wouldn't make sense when there are so many gay bodybuilders

[–]higherpublic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could totally understand how you could’ve ended up this way.

[–]aShiftyLad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Likely you only connected well with dudes and thought that you were attracted to them, but after increasing your own self value, this changed. Could also likely be the upping of T as well.

Know plenty of gay dudes who are just insecure and are gay because the community is overly accepting of little bitches.