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Week 19: On Anger (self.becomeaman)

submitted by GaiusScaevolus

In modern society, the prevailing opinion seems to be that anger is unnatural. It's bad for your health to be angry, they say, if you are angry, or god forbid express your anger, you are maladjusted, you're told you should 'talk to someone'. If seeing a shrink doesn't work, you can always be pumped full of drugs like Xanax and Prozac, maybe even Ritalin, that kill your ability to feel anger, or anything else for that matter. The underlying current here is that anger is somehow unnatural, its wrong, and if you feel anger something is wrong with you mentally.

I. call. Bullshit

Anger is a natural, emotional response to problems. Anger is a signal that something is not as it should be, something is in your way. The trick isn't to not feel anger, but to do something about it. Use your anger to fuel the changes that need to be made. I've found that most situations which illicit anger can be broken down into 2 categories;

-You're not good enough: The anger is internal, directed at yourself. The only way to deal with this is to get good enough. Stronger, Thinner, Smarter, more sociable. Become what you want to be.

-You're getting f*cked over: People aren't here to look out for you. The world is a tough place for a man, especially if he isn't tough. You need to stand for what is yours, say no to bullshit, and get aggressive for your interests. No one else is going to do it for you.

Wk XIX Challenge: What makes you angry? What can you do to harness that anger and solve the problem? Share below.


[–]oldbluebox 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I use this technique a lot when working out.

You learn to control your anger in spurts and remember things that may not make you so happy. Helps bust out an extra few sets and some extra lbs.

Let the hate fuel you to better yourself. Learn to control it, learn to pull it deep from within you when you need it to push yourself to make a tough (but healthy) decision.

Anger is a fantastic emotion if you know how to control it.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Beautiful. Anger channeling during the last 3 reps when you feel weird or the voice says you can't do it / you've done enough is pretty smart.

This thread is helping me regain my past self. I was an awesome kid, and all I can remember is doing things right until getting fucked over my family and "friends". Don't really blame family much, they were doing what they thought was best, but still detrimental. Things have been better now.

[–]oldbluebox 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good for you man. Get those sets in. :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is definitely true, but I have occasional issues with hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and I can tell you that my anger is never more ferocious than in this state, and is usually pretty dumb, but uncontrollable. The solution is to eat an apple or some other fruit. Be careful to only act on anger that is rationally justified....

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The point is to identify why you're angry (in your case hypoglycemia) and solve it (eat an apple). Sometimes the solution involves an increased level of self awareness, but the solution method is generally the same.

[–]redpillschool 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a good post, thanks Scaev!

[–]RedPilkingtonIron Fist 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anger as distinguished from momentary rage. I know what /u/newtoyoustew is talking about when he says low blood sugar and its totally different from the type of anger that could be channeled into something productive.

The type of anger that makes you hit things should be controlled. Once you have that locked down you can move on to fixing issues.

[–]LuciusExitius 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

How do you deal with someone that is taking advantage of you, especially a friend or family member?

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Without specifics, I can only give vague advice;

Two general options:

a) Confront them on it.

b) Drop them.

[–]LuciusExitius 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

For example, if I have someone who is a roommate and I feel they are taking advantage of me, I want to be their friend so I don't want to come off as a dick but at the same time its my house. The moment I bring something up he refuses to see what he is doing or tries to bring it back on me.

[–]PusherPlate 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hoo boy been there. Bud, you're in the shit. It's YOUR house. First, be prepared to document the conversation (record voices, if that's legal where you are), or just have another friend of yours there at the time.

a)If they are taking advantage in some concrete and verifiable way, such as not paying their share of expenses like rent/electricity/water bill, PUT IT ON THEM. Ask,"What steps are you going to take to fix this situation?" Get an answer you are honestly content with, and see they follow through.

b)If they are taking advantage of you in some concrete but unverifiable/difficult to verify way, such as consuming more food than they pay for, or taking things that don't belong to them, CALL IT. If they look at you with a long face, hateful face, LAUGH IN THEIR FACE, then get them to promise to stop, and repay. If they don't like it, tell them they have to go. If they don't agree, be a "dick" (Man), and MOVE THEIR SHIT OUT.

c)If you feel that they are emotionally/psychologically "taking advantage of you", this might be you who has a problem, or it really could be them; regardless, it's your house, they should go. Some people have a nose for kindness like mosquitoes for blood, and will milk you for benefits/cash/pity or just plain old attention all they can. You do NO ONE any favors by letting someone take advantage of you, LEAST of all yourself. On the other hand, some people just love to be the "martyred saint"; that's much worse for everyone concerned- definitely don't be THAT guy. And when I said I've been there, I mean I've been in every position described here.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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