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[–]Complecs22 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hey there. I was in the same exact boat you were no more than 7 months ago! I was playing a game professionally, easily from 2PM (when i woke up) to 5AM or later every single day. I had no job, I ate everything I wanted, yada yada you know the exact story already.

Heres what you need to do. You've already started one of the fundamentals of breaking the beta, exercising. But you know that wont do it alone, of course not. So, you need to start taking cold showers. WHAT?! COLD SHOWERS?! You may scream in rebellion. But let me tell you, they help. You start the day doing something you absolutely do not want to do. It sucks, just as bad as you think it does. Turn that water all the way cold, and step into the fire. That shit will light your morning up like nothing else in this world. Take a cold shower for 5 minutes, every single morning for 30 days, watch as you transform.

Change your sleeping schedule, start going to bed by midnight. If you're staying up until 4-5 in the morning, pull and all nighter and stay up until 12am the next day, if you can. Then start over fresh, with your cold shower, then breakfast (oatmeal or something), and your exercise. Bam, you're now almost a normal human being that just needs to go get a job so you can stop burdening your family. So go do it! Its not so bad, I quite like getting these paychecks in every 2 weeks.

And really don't think that you have to get a job at mcdonalds. Heres my story

I was exactly like you, possibly playing even more video games than you, literally like 70 hours a week. Living with my parents just taking up space. My dad got me a job interview at a car dealership he buys cars for, I of course didn't want to have a thing to do with it. But he told me I either do this or I'm out on the street. Now I could've moved in with my girlfriend at her dads(yeah i have one, my now fiance), but my pride wouldn't allow it. When i realized how low I was almost willing to stoop to continue my habit, it clicked. I got a haircut and bought some clothes for the interview, and got the job. Probably has everything to do with my dad pulling strings, but I got it none the less. 8 bucks an hour at 40 hours a week with a 1 and 1/2 hour drive EACH WAY every single day. For whatever reason I just kind of put the games on the backburner and gave the job everything I had, i guess that's just my personality. I give my main focuses in life everything I can, or whats the point in doing them? Anyway, I busted my ass and took the fuck out of those pictures, and got a promotion! I got promoted to managing all of the dealerships websites, as well as taking the pictures still. Sweet! I get to work on the internet! Not only that but i got a decent pay raise after a couple of months. So i did that for another 3 months and increased our rankings to #1 in the southeast region for our dealership size. Wow. Our dealership was getting the most traffic out of anyone in the southeast and we were selling more cars. Then I got a promotion to the internet director position, where i managed the internet sales people, took pictures of the cars still, and still managed the websites, and ALSO managed all of the customer inquiries that came into the dealership. I had no fucking idea what I was doing, and I felt like I was making a fool out of myself, but I did the very best I could and increased our numbers even more after many failed attempts at other processes.

I could go on and on, the story really is a long one filled with success and incredible failure, but the point I'm trying to make is that I know exactly where you are coming from. And you can do something in this world, today, right now. You have the talent, I'm sure you were pretty good at the games you played. Guess what, that shit can be applied to the real world. I learned from EVE online how to be efficient, which is so incredibly useful. I learned from Wow, Tera Online, Tribes Ascend, and other games like those how to make decisions quickly, which in turn helped me become a good leader. You need to be a little clever, and really motivated, but even without any college education you can do something. You just need to look in the right places, and even if its scary, jump in. Look at that shower head spraying that cold ass fucking water too cold for penguins to swim in, and jump in. Stand in that fire, because you are better than you give yourself credit for, you just need to be willing to unlock that potential. So much potential.

Also, /r/theredpill

[–]benczi2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

@Complecs: Awesome road.

@my question: is gaming really that bad? I am working 40h/week, but I love playing videogames, hon(dota) most of all, and spend a fair(large) amount of my free time playing it.

@op: I don't think gaming in itself is the problem. I was in the exact same situation years ago. My very first real job, the one in my profession I got from going to a party, and learning of the interview from a friend. Getting a job, getting money into your pocket, that is what you must strive for. Reddit has a section for this, a good one at that, /r/jobs. look into it. Really. It has the tools you need to find a job and become a productive member of society. No-one cares about you, when you have nothing to offer.

Now even if you have nothing to offer now, but have the potential to offer more in a few years, in case of studying, that's acceptable. Doctors, lawyers, spend how many years before they can work? Also, I don't know why it's so bad to be unemployed at 22. I've been unemployed a lot longer (and am working for only 4 years now, but things are finally starting to look good). It's not that you'r unemployed that's the problem, it's that you have nothing to do, at all, that you are not doing anything with you'r life, you'r feeling trapped and like dying slowly day by day, and I'm guessing you get a lot of shit from your family too about this too. If so, move out as soon as you can, it helps a lot.

Right now, you are a looser. But do you have the potential to be awesome? or not? on /r/TheRedPill you can read over and over again, that we as men become valuable later in life, like late 20's, 30's. There are success stories of guys who managed a lot sooner, strive to be like them, but also know, that they are the exceptions.

Do the daily routine from above, learn, work, live.

[–]Complecs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It can get that bad depending on the personality type. But that same personality type can get addicted to something more productive just as easily. I still game everyday, just for 2 hours or so though if time allows.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I had no fucking idea what I was doing, and I felt like I was making a fool out of myself

Here's the thing: Every very successful person feels like this. None of us NONE OF US has any fucking idea what the fuck we are doing. If the job can be taught in college then it is worth about $100K per year tops. If someone can write a book on how to do it, then anyone can read that book and do it and so it's not worth all that much. That is not to say that college is a waste of time of course. You NEED to know the fundamentals of a field in order to be effective at all in that field. But in order to really get out on top you have to be able to deviate, expand on, or create new fundamentals. Most people, when confronted with a job they have no idea how to handle, will stick to what they know and let the crazy shit pass them by and pat themselves on the back for dodging a bullet. The very successful people attack the crazy problem, give it their best shot, and try to conquer it. That's what earns you the $250K+ salaries; a proven track record of being able to act in the face of not knowing what the fuck you are doing when everyone around you is hiding from the shitstorm. Because inaction is rarely a good strategy and almost never the best, having a competent and confident person at the helm who can make educated guesses as to what to do is better than 10 people who refuse to guess because they don't know what they are doing.

TLDR; if you feel like an imposter and don't know what the fuck you are doing then you are doing it right.

[–]Complecs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I was moved to another area of the dealership completely, from sales to just under the service manager. Either they moved me because I wasn't doing well in my other position, or like one of my salesman told me; they're moving me around to get experience in every area of the dealership on purpose, i could be on track to owning my own or becoming a General Manager one day, which would be pretty cool.

23 years old and gone from nothing to a lot going for me, kind of surreal to spell it all out on paper.

[–]dragonfly2241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good on you. Just don't forget to game on weekends. XP waste is a terrible thing!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Movies are the equivalent of movies in the 20th century. You watch a movie, it's over in 2 hours, then you go do something else. Video games are designed to draw you in, every time you level up, it stimulates the reward center of your brain and encourages you to keep playing. Games like World of Warcraft are actually designed that way by psychologists to be addictive to the player.

Even reddit is designed that way with its karma system, which means objectively nothing, but there are guys who are addicted to getting as many karma achievement points as they can get.

It's a vice like any other, it can consume your life.

[–]BananaNutWhut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read your post then tell me if you need to be playing video games. I know you won't take my advice, you're just too dependent on your family's support. Get out of your fucking parents house. Cut the umbilical cord. You're a fucking grown man, not a little boy. No one on reddit can change your life, you need to sort your shit out and video games are an inconsequential piece of the problem.

[–]straylighter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just my take on it, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with playing a shitload of video games. I play amounts that would make some college students jealous and I do fine.

Your real problem is not the video games. Your real problem is that you're unemployed. When you're unemployed, unless you spent a full-time day (8 hours) in the tireless pursuit of work, you haven't earned the privilege of playing video games.

All of your other problems come from being unemployed. Focusing on gaming is totally avoiding the important issues to work on something that you feel like you can conquer easier, and that's lazy. You live with your mum because you have no money because you have no job. You fap a lot and are a virgin because you live with you mum, and becuase you're unemployed and because this combination is leading you to have no self-esteem. Chicks get horny on male self-esteem, and right now you've got none of it. You're "clinically depressed" because your life sucks, because you haven't done a very good job tending it.

So no, gaming is not your problem. Your problem is that you don't have any willpower and any confidence. Video games aren't stealing your willpower and your confidence -- rather the fact that you sit in the basement doing nothing but jacking off and playing video games is a symptom of your problem.

It all begins with productive achievement. Get a job. Even a shit job will get you in the habits you need to get a better job. If you have not a single skill or ability to offer society, then shovel shit or flip burgers and use the shame you feel as a motivating factor to learn something that people will pay you more for. If you are just incapable of getting anyone on earth to pay you money for anything, go door to door offering your services. Rake leaves like a ten year old for tips. Drive old people around. Make and sell birdhouses. I don't give a shit what you do, but I promise you that after you start doing something where at the end of the day you've produced or created something, everything else starts to fall into place like Tetris blocks.

You sound like no one ever taught you how to be a man. That's fine, you have to learn on your own, and that's possible. The secret is that men don't sit around in the basement waiting for shit to happen to them and getting clinically depressed about their life. You shape life. When you go out into the world and use your thought and your time and your energy in productive ways, you change not just your world, but the whole world. Every wall you build, every hungry person you make delicious food for, every conversation you have is a kind of magic. You have within you the ability to shape a small little area of the world into whatever you want it to be, all you have to do is quit being a pussy and blaming other things for your current conditions and accept that it's you, not your gaming.

Go get a job. If you can't, go find something that someone will give you money to do. Spend 8 hours a day either working, making money, or looking for work. If you do this long enough, eventually everything else will fall into place.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Firstly...stop looking at men dichotomously like we are all either "alpha," or"beta." You are the person you decide to be. All guys have traits of both, or at least moments where we could be either.

The moment you begin to label yourself you're travelling down a path of self defeat..and it sounds like you probably a have a pattern and history of self defeating behavior. You probably make a lot of excuses to yourself to neglect responsibilities. It freaks you out, but you aren't really sure what to do, so you retreat back to fantasy until it comes up again. It becomes a cycle of self defeat, and every time you go through it, it becomes harder to pull yourself out.

Your problem isn't video games. Your problem is that you utilize a form of willing escapism to shield yourself from something you're afraid of. I'm not really sure what that is, but you aren't going to get better magically by quitting video games.

What you need to do is go out and have some encouraging, confidence building experiences. It is okay to retreat back to gaming once in a while...I myself spent a lot of last weekend playing Skyrim. It's not okay to neglect yourself, and your personal responsibilities by pleasure seeking....and honestly it doesn't matter what that pleasure is. Whether it's drinking, drugs, gaming, or a significant other, you are always doing yourself wrong by investing so heavily in something that you forget to invest in yourself.

[–]Aldovar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I eventually outgrew it. I found a lot of new interests in dressing better, working out, socializing, and new hobbies, even DIY stuff. All that new stuff chipped away at the time and money required to sustain such a hobby. Nowadays I pick stuff up on the late when they're cheap - I have a 3ds when I play on some evenings and a gaming PC which I rarely turn on nowadays.

I honestly think that a time will come where the next generation of videogames come and you'll just go, "meh." When that time comes it's because you have to take care of more pressing matters.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Moderation is key. I only get 4 or 5 hours of gaming a week now. Occasionally I'll get a Saturday marathon in.

[–]trp_que1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to play a lot of games. I would never considered myself as a "basement dweller" as luckily I was raised playing a lot of sports in addition to my gaming habits. But gaming definitely consumed a lot of my free time.

What really got me away from it was becoming fully absorbed in self-improvement. As I started allocating my time to self-improvement, obviously, I had less time for gaming. Gaming is an addiction. Just like any addictive drug, withdrawing yourself from the drug takes it hold on you away. Self-improvement itself is addicting (which is a good thing). As I started spending more and more time improving myself, my addiction shifted from games to finding out ways to enhance myself.

As an added bonus, becoming more involved in self-improvement makes you look at gaming as a colossal waste of time which only pushes you away from it further.

Now I am to the point where I would rather be at the gym, working on a side project, reading a book, watching a documentary, or many of the other more productive/educational things I do than be playing games. I can now safely sit down and play a game for an hour or two once a week without getting sucked in. Gaming should be used as a means to unwind after a productive day... Not as a means to fill your day.

[–]RedPillJohnny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are young. You are realizing stuff about how you live and you are thinking about your life. You have a moral compass. You even know enough to question the amount of video games that you play and to question if that interferes with being a man. This means that you are on your way to figuring out your question for yourself and it means that you have much more self awareness than you think and that means you have way less potential to be a loser or a deadbeat than a whole fuckton of other people.

Screen time takes your life energy away...it does not reward you like physical achievements...Sure it is satisfying to play and learn and defeat the enemy, but the rewards for learning how to do real physical things like climb a rope or do pushups or shoot a gun far outweigh screen time rewards. I would argue that staring at the screen and masturbating is way way worse for you than only masturbating. It's the screen time...and hey...I am a filmmaker...I create video for living and I sit at a computer all fucking day and all fucking night! I surf reddit, porn, news, videos, everything! And I know it's not good for me! So don't feel bad if you feel compelled to play...just master yourself and have some self control and feel the reward for doing so deep inside of you. I have recently started reading more and that helps. My kids stare at screens and that is not good for them but we have to learn how to handle the screen time...it's just so easy to turn it on and disappear into the digital world. And as far as I'm concerned most 22 year olds are "fucked up losers" with priorities so far out of whack they you want to smack them...so the fact that you are questioning your activity means that you are growing up and tired of doing what the world made you into...now it's time to make yourself into what you want to be. Get a job (I recommend being self employed mowing lawns or my favorite...window washing...everyone fucking hates to wash windows...as an internet guy you will be able to find a you tube video telling you how to do it! (the secret is sunlight dishwashing liquid...the stuff in the yellow bottle) Take baby steps and never give up, never surrender! Nature walks are important. Stare at the blue sky and the clouds instead of a screen...notice the difference it makes in your mood and you nerves. Stare at the stars! Feel the connection that you have with them. Live in wonder and have a positive attitude. Find some spirituality (maybe not from a religious institution though, but maybe you would feel more comfortable with a church group).

You are on the right path son...your instincts are healthy...don't drag yourself down...we are always the ones who are hardest on us...give yourself a break and let yourself grow! I'm starting to sound like a PSA now! Good luck!

[–]Jaqar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Use a few minutes of your video game routine for anything else. Discover new music, read a book, draw or write something. Get your imagination employed. If you feed it enough, you'll soon find that you're getting bored of being confined to a world world created by someone else.

I also used to play a lot of video games, around 4hrs a week, between the ages 17-20. That was the worst it ever got and though I never sacrificed sport to it, it was a way to numb my mind from the work at highschool and first years of uni. Not good. Now I don't play at all or maybe once every few weeks with friends.

[–]sirneb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to play way more games than anyone is willingly to admit. I don't play anymore and I do have desire to. The difference is that I just have other priorities and other things that outweights the desire to play. I don't see playing games as anything bad, it's just that there are way way better things in life than video games.

[–]billyF950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you cannot manage to play less, then completely stop playing, that's what I've done because I could not get myself to just play less. It's been about a month since last time I played and I have already started doing more things than I used to (such as playing the piano again)

[–]drqxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I stopped completely after many years being way into video games. I had every console. These days I fill my time with my family.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Video games are a hobby just like anything else. Considering this I always wonder why I never see issues like "I'm addicted to soccer" or "my wife thinks I play too much soccer and it's ruining my marriage"

I feel like video games aren't inherently worse then anything else it's just that society tends to place video games on the bottom of the hobby ladder

[–]GaiusScaevolus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Removed as per posting rules in the sidebar. Ask on the most recent AskBaM thread.

[–]misterlimxx-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

play dota2 you will learn some useful skill sets. and your life will be non existant

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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