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At times I have trouble putting the thoughts that are in my head into coherent words that have meaning. It happens most often when I attempt to retelling events or ideas, such as a story that was told to me, or an article that I read in the paper or a news story that I watched the other day. Does anybody have any ideas or guidance as to what I can do to improve this aspect of my social skills?


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Journaling is very helpful too. Whenever I have too many thoughts bouncing around in my head the quickest cure is to write them down. Over time it becomes easier to organize ideas in your head after you become proficient at organizing them on paper.

[–]TheOneWhoWokeUp1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

First off, practice. Maybe have a friend who you can tell what you learned every day and you work on explaining the best you can what you learned. Something that personally helped a lot of my friends and I was just slowing down when we talk. There is no need to rush through information, just take some deep breathes sand if you need to stop for a a minute to think, that is alright.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As an addon to this, run through the event verbally in your head especially if you're planning to retell it later. This solidifies the thoughts into words.

This sounds strange, but often people think not in words but in pictures.

[–]SovietRaptor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Personally I think most of the skill that comes with articulating yourself comes naturally, and that skill that doesn't comes from reading complex literature and practicing having complex conversations.

Unfortunately I think only certain types of people are drawn to and develop these types of skills naturally, and the rest have to force it and kind of fake it until you make it. But that is the premise for a lot of seduction/becomingamanness so hey.

I would recommended reading specifically what interests you. For me it's mostly non-fiction, but mostly non-fiction pertaining to what I actually end up talking about.

I'm a student, so I have a lot of time to practice writing and getting my thoughts down in an articulate manner. If you don't have that opportunity, start keeping a journal, write about what you read and write about how you feel (since describing feelings can often be near impossible). Do it with the intention of making your writing mind the same as your speaking mind. When I'm speaking I might pause for a few seconds to think of a better word to use as I would writing, it's the matter of building the muscle memory to stop yourself from speaking with no though. Slow down a little.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've made a mental habit of re-stating important or interesting info back to myself in my head as I come across it. It helps me to know whether I've really understood the thing, and also cements a phrasing for recounting it.

It also helps to think in advance about whether this story would be best told chronologically, whether you should drop a big piece of info first to hook the audience, and then fill in details later, etc.

I agree that reading and journaling are big helps. But also just talking to people more will help. Listen to the way they relay information and try to do it the same way.

[–]teddyroo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a verbal block that would prevent me from speaking my thoughts, especially when I was angry or frustrated. Oddly enough, I never had this problem while writing my thoughts down on paper.

The situations that triggered this were similar to yours, OP. In the Western world, the ability to tell stories is vital. I found that when I was giving any sort of prepared speech, I'd try and memorize notes that I'd written down and would get really anxious because I was afraid I'd screw up narrating them in the right sequence.

I noticed the way my friend spoke and narrated stories, how comfortable and most importantly how SLOW he spoke. I'd always had a tendency to panic, speak too fast and garble half the words I spoke. Just take a deep breath, relax, and speak slowly.

The most important thing while telling stories is to have a generic idea of the main story events, but also spontaneity while telling the story to keep it interesting.

If you want to break this block down, try immersive therapy. Repeatedly put yourself into situations where you have to tell stories, and go for it. You might not perform perfectly the first couple of times, but you'll eventually get over it.

Good luck!

[–]Iupvoteforknowledge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Talk slowly and think things out.

[–]Unwanted_Commentary0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It would be pretty hard to repair a car if you only had a Flathead screwdriver. You need all kinds of tools to get the job done.

Articulating your thoughts is no different. You need a variety of tools to construct a sentence, and those tools are words. You need to expand your vocabulary so that you will have an easier time explaining yourself.

You'll sound smarter, be more engaging, and probably look better during dates and on interviews.

And like the other fellow said, it's important to talk slowly and clearly. Never risk mumbling or stuttering in favor of speed.

Something I do is read the word of the day on dictionary websites. It's usually very interesting and useful. If I like the word and think that I might use it at some point in time, I will write the word down and its definition on a Notepad.txt that I keep on my desktop. I now have about 100 words on it and somehow my brain memorizes them without having to expend any effort. This should take you like 1 minute per day.

[–]JihadDerp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Writing and editing your writing to be more concise forces you to think about how to take out unnecessary words, be specific, and get to the point. Do it enough and it becomes second nature.

Read books on good writing. Stephen kings "on writing" is good. Dale Carnegie wrote a lot about public speaking. Read those books. Join a toast masters group.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading more helps you widen your vocabulary and process words better.

I went through a phase where I was watching too much TV while at school and my speaking was awful.

Remember the main point as well, keep it short and brief and each point will explain itself. Once you get into the habit of this, it will become second nature.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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