Achieving balance between authenticity and competitiveness?

User-31f64a4e · 2014-11-01T01:04:58+00:00

I don't know.

To me, authentic means no act, no bullshit.

Competitive means, well, like to compete.

If you fight fairly, honestly, there is no conflict. If you're in to dirty tricks and underhanded maneuvers, then I guess there is a conflict.

I don't know what indestructible means; obviously bullets won't bounce off of you you like superman. If you mean emotionally, psychically indestructible, then you can be authentic without putting that at risk. You can care about someone without being crushed when they disappoint you. That's it there, really - disappointment, rather than something more serious.

What is authentic? It's knowing who you are, what you are about, and not caring what others think. Going your own way, to some extent.

If you are competitive to seek approval, because you think that comes from beating other people, then you are not authentic because you are seeking approval. If you are competitive because competition is (a la dead poets society) how men push each other to excellence, then there is no conflict.

So look in your heart. Why are you competitive? Does it come from a sense of inadequacy, or a sense of becoming better.

bobbybluepill · 2014-10-30T01:21:06+00:00

I think you take it on a case by case basis, where you consciously decide which frame will result in higher personal benefit to you, both shirt and long term.

Vaughnatri · 2014-10-30T15:21:12+00:00

I doubt anyone views you as indestructible, even if you think they perceive you that way (to those that don't know you, it oft comes off as unlikable). That being said, I too am very cold and unforgiving to those who, through their own toxic actions, have lost the right to be treated kindly - I often find myself not giving them any piece of myself until they can "re-earn" it, so to speak.

But I allow them to lose my authenticity/kindness, because by default everyone has access to the "real me", even if it makes me feel weak on rare occasions. The freedom of not having to pretend to be something that I'm not to 99.99% of the world makes my life easier, efficient, and more enriched.

If you're wanting to try to balance things, I'd suggest trying to go a week straight of being 100% authentic and kind to everyone (even strangers) who haven't already proven themselves to be toxic in your life. Example, if you're in an elevator with a stranger smile and say hello, instead of just staring at the door (not just the pretty girls).

It's just a thought - life is too short to not be yourself and kind to others...