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I think we should take a break. (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

Fun times.

So girl I was considering for an LTR. Been hanging out she replies instantly to my texts. Never turned down a chance to hang out and does what I want and hasn't really caused me any problems.

So we never discussed LTR or exclusiveness. I go in and she says we need to talk. I am expecting the whole, "Where is this going."

We sat down and she said, paraphrasing:

"I think we should take a break from seeing each other for a while."

Perhaps a bit in shock I just said, "Ok" stood up and started leaving as I get to the front door she is crying in her living room. I can hear her.

In my car driving home thinking wtf. My phone is blowing up. Ignored it until I was home to safely use my phone. ~15m drive.

Messages:

I knew you weren't taking this seriously

I just wanted to end this before I got hurt. I really like you xx

Come back I want to talk xx

Followed by 3 missed calls.

Wtf is this shit and why has my potential LTR went fucking mental? Was I too distant? Too alpha failing comfort tests?

I am not entirely put off of an LTR. How do you even resolve this as a conversation? Why are you randomly ending our contact as a test?

Thoughts welcome.


[–]WhatIsThisAccountFor3 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What type of emotions are you hoping to draw out?

Men have emotions in a different way than women. Women will cry because something is cute, like if a woman sees a baby smile at her she might cry about it later because she's so emotionally overwhelmed. Men might enjoy something cute, like a baby smiling, but a man would never cry when he sees a baby smile at him.

before you attempt to make him open up more you need to accept that there probably is not much more for him to open up about emotionally. Men are raised to be strong willed and slightly stubborn. If a man is emotional over something it's usually not just "Oh my god that baby was so cute I didn't know what to do with myself", it's something like "I don't know how to deal with the fact that I may never be as successful as my father". Emotions for men are usually about much heavier things than they are for women, so before you try to get him to open up, understand that you might hear something that you can never fix or help him with. And this thing might be an obsession of his that he decided never to inform you of because you won't be able to handle it.

[–]lespetiteschoses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband has slowly opened up to me over time. It used to bother me when things were new, but I found that once i stopped trying to drag it out of him it started to come more naturally. He's certainly not as forthcoming as I am, but nowadays he seems to actually enjoy sharing these parts of himself and even asks my advice on emotional/personal matters.

The biggest things I try to remember are being encouraging and non-judgemental, as you said, and also to actually thank him for opening up when he does. Just a simple "thanks for sharing that with me babe, I really like knowing your feelings on these things" is enough to reinforce that his emotions are not a burden for me.