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Field ReportOne of those days. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed ContributorHeathcliff--

I met this girl in the library. English, brunette, small and very cute. Pretty face. It's exam time and everyone's been pulling all nighters or staying up late. We were in a computer room that was pretty empty, and she kept glancing over. I saw that we were studying the same thing.

We 'studied' like that for a while but actually I was just on reddit and she was playing some kind of RPG on her mobile. It was hot.

So I walked over because she was cute as hell and approach anxiety doesn't even register anymore and as soon as she saw me her eyes lit up and then she knocked her coffee over her computer keyboard. Lol.

We studied together for a while, (we had taken the same module,) answered some exam questions, flirted quite heavily and then decided to head off because it was late. She was very cute and smiley and seemed to be enjoying herself a lot.

It was like 2am or something, she lived in the halls close by, I lived far away. I decided to walk her back to her halls, because, you know, it was 2am. She was happy about it.

We walk in the night and she brags to me about how her IQ is 170 and she's in mensa and I'm like "whowh this girl is into me huh."

I see her off at the front gates and then go to head home, but not wanting to pass up a sure thing, I say to her "we should study together again, that was fun".

She gives me her number eagerly.


Skip to a few days later.

I wake around 1pm to a headache, ass taste and a dry throat. Pulled an all nighter for an exam the day before and my recovery sleep seemed to have run over deep into the next day. Oops. Gotta make up for that sleep debt I guess.

The first thing I do is drink some water, take a piss, brush my damn teeth and then check my phone and see the message;

"Omw"

Oh it's the girl.

She's on her way.

On her way where?

Shit, yeah. We were 'hanging out' today. Supposed to meet at 1.30.

I check the time. Shit.

I am not ready. And I will be late.

How long can I make her wait?... Well this is directly correlated to the attractiveness of the girl.

In this case, not very long.

I get a move on.

The house is a tip, and I anticipate maybe possibly potentially hopefully fucking this girl after, so I can't bring her back to a shithole can I?

I begin cleaning the house: airing out the smoke, beer cans, food wrappers, trading cards. Soon I have a substantial rubbish bag and am not gonna let it stink up the flat. I put on my trusty slippers, put the door on latch and head downstairs.

I head out the main downstairs door and deposit the rubbish bag in the bin and attempt to re-enter through the front door.

But I've only gone and done it haven't I.

I've locked myself out.


The first thing I did was buzz the neighbours. No need to panic yet. It's the downstairs front door that's locked, the door to my flat is on latch. They only need to buzz me in and I have access.

But no one was answering. I only have 2 neighbours, the cute Asian girl that lives across from me, and a European couple above. Whenever I bring over screamers they try to match us. It's pretty fun actually.

Poor asian girl though...

Anyway she wasn't answering. And neither was the couple. Well fuck they were probably at work. Of course. Real adults have real jobs and don't sleep in until 1pm to 'study'.

I weigh up my options and variables.

I should be at the library with this girl in 20 mins.

I am, quite literally, in the clothes I slept in. Luckily for me, that entails a thick hoodie and sweats, because I save money on heating and pyjamas are for fags.

Oh and my slippers of course. However, no phone, no keys, no wallet. No current way to enter the house.

I consider scaling the building, I'm a climber... but no parkour maniac. And I don't think I was stupid enough to leave any windows open.

Fuck. I realise that this date isn't gonna happen. I'm stuck outside, completely technologically naked, with no way to contact anyone.

Missing phone anxiety begins to creep in.

Gonna have to flake on the girl, cos I'm a damn idiot and locked myself out of the flat. A silent flake too... harsh.

Oh well. She'll probably like me more after anyway.


So I decide the smartest thing to do is wait for my neighbours to get back.

Which will probably be like 6 or 7 right? That's when normal people finish their normal jobs right?

Well until then I guess I just gotta kill time.

A few years ago, I woulda stressed about a situation like this, really just got stupidly anxious. But I've read Solzhenitsyn... this... this is no big deal at all. Pretty funny actually.

Lets make the most of it.

So I wonder down the high street in my slippers, and get looks from the people on the street. I probably look like a mess, unshowered and unshaven and in my sweats; but then I see my reflection in a shop window and I've got that whole just woke up bed-head grizzled college boy stoner look going on and I marvel for the 1000th time at how attractive I am. Thank god for lifting.

The slippers flop on the pavement, they probably will not last the day if I'm gonna be walking around. But oh well. I remember buying these slippers. Only a few weeks ago. I was in a store and I spotted them and immediately felt this ethereal feeling like they were important somehow and I needed them. The slippers damn called to me. So I bought em.

Interesting. Now I know why. Morphic Resonance after all. Or maybe just very good slipper marketing.

I sit on a bench by the river and watch the water. It's a cold day. I feel naked and unplugged, and for the first time, actually feel good about it. I had no phone or money, no internet connection, no dopamine inducing distractions, and I was alone with my thoughts and the cold air. A sudden weight lifted from the top of my head. It felt like I'd just taken a small dose of... something....

It was freeing. I realised it was going to be one of those days. I haven't had one of these in a while, and I cherish them.


It now has to be past the time when I was supposed to meet the girl but I have no real way to tell. I meditate for a while cos the air feels good on my face and then people-watch in the park and pet a dog. I begin listing off places to visit and planning out how I'll spend the next 5 or so hours until my neighbours get back.

It's as I am walking up the highstreet that I find what I thought was an extinct species of store.

An internet cafe.

An oasis.

Shit. Pass the tourniquet I have access again.


The Pakistani guy at the desks sees me in my slippers.

"I've locked myself out. I have no money. Can I use your computer please?"

He looks at me. "Ok. Number 5".

Thanks bro.

I get on facebook and its 2:05 and i notice she hasnt messaged me yet. Playing it cool. Nice.

I scroll reddit and memes for a while.

Then I have an idea.

I google the number of my estate agent. They should have a spare set of keys right? Paki bro let me use his phone to call them.

The lady on the other side didn't seem happy with my shit. They couldn't help me.

Plan foiled. Waiting for the neighbours it is then.

I scroll through trp for a while. The old hambeast next to me is watching some african music video and breathing very loudly through her mouth, and she's scrolling back and watching the same 10 seconds over and over. Has been doing it the whole time.

I finally get a "?" From the girl.

Nice. Still playing it cool.

I make her wait for 5 mins then hit her with the:

"cant come sorry"

She says "why"

I start to think about what I should do. But I know immediately what I'm going to do. It's one of those days after all, and I want her along for the ride.

"you could come here though"

She waits a long time before saying "where"

I message her the name of the nearest train station. She says "why though?" I tell her "lol its a surprise ".

This was obviously too much for her to bear and she texted "ok lol coming"

Wow that worked. Maybe I have her hooked already, or maybe she's just an adventurous one. Both options are great.

I didn't really have a plan for what happens next though. But who cares, I'll make it up as I go along.

Without my phone, or my wallet, I was entirely free to just drift with no responsibilities. It felt amazing.

Frankly, it felt like I was a kid again. Playing outside during summer.

I was suddenly very excited to see her.


When she arrived at the station and saw me in my slippers she gave me the goofiest smile. I could see in her eyes that she knew immediately that it will be one of those days.

"I locked myself out" I said.

"How?!?" She's laughing.

So I tell her the story, as we walk around town. I'm very self conscious that my breath might be bad due to the fact I actually haven't eaten anything yet, but am also thankful I am OCD about brushing my teeth as soon as I wake up.

I didn't really think about gaming her at all, I didn't analyse anything or hyperfocus on my actions. I just kinda went with it. It was fun, I was completely in the moment and just ran around the town and played with her, like a boy dog with a girl dog following him around. It helps that she wasn't shit testing me or anything bitchy like that, made it so easy and she happily bounced along like a lil' sidekick.

Well we try my flat again but my neighbours still aren't in, obviously, so we sit on the doorstep. I ask her if she wants to study. So we study on the doorstep for a while.

"Wait when do you have to be home?" I ask her.

"Uh, anytime." She smiles back.

"Cos I have no idea how long it will be till my neighbours get back. You don't have to wait with me the whole time you know"

"No I like it this is fun"

Wow. What a great feeling. When a pretty girl genuinely wants your company.


We chat for a while and quiz each other on metabolic pathways and then decide to wander again.

I climb a tree and then we talk about our families. I feel like a kid hanging out with his middle school girlfriend after school.

Eventually we spot a McDonalds.

So we go in. I haven't had breakfast, or eaten in hours. Fuck if I'm losing gains.

"So you know I don't have my wallet right?"

So she gets us a chicken nugget sharebox and sprites and we blow the straw packets at each other. Then we have ice cream.

We wonder by the park for a bit and it's getting colder so we head to a sports department store and check out all the cool bikes and skiing and climbing gear and I tell her I'll take her bouldering some time and she's down.

We leave and I reveal I've stolen a tennis ball and she gets mad at me becuase stealing is bad and scolds me so I keep bouncing the ball at her until she backs off and laughs and we play catch and she cant throw for shit and its cute.

The whole time, everything felt right. Like we'd been friends for ages, and we were on an adventure together.

We hit up a supermarket because I'm getting hungry again and we buy ham and dark chocolate and tangerines, and a jar of pickles. I wanted to get salted pistachios and mentioned it but the pistachios were very expensive and she was paying so... This time though we had a security guard following us around. For good reason too, I was still traipsing around in my slippers, which were muddy and beginning to fall apart. Probably looked like we were on drugs.

She pays again and I mentally add the tab up in my head with the nuggets. As we leave the guard says to us "scuse me did ya pay for those" and I say "why would we steal pickles mate" and she waves the receipt at him and gives him that Stacey disgust sneer that we've all sadly been on the receiving end of. It was astounding watching the pretty girl face morph into ultimate bitch putdown mode. There are probably betas in her life who only ever know her as this.

But hey I get to experience the cute, dorky side of her, and I'm loving it.


We leave the supermarket and she reveals that she actually stole the pistachios and hid them in her purse and I hug her cos I'm proud and squeeze her ass and then we eat our meal in the park.

After the meal we lay together on the grass for a while and I give the tennis ball to a dog that tried to steal our food and then we attempt the neighbours again but still nothing and its like 6pm and I'm starting to get a bit irked.

It's beginning to get cold now and I'm afraid the girl is getting bored of me and also that my neighbours might just have gone away for ever and I don't wanna have to call a locksmith but soon it will be late. I decide to take her to the one place in town I haven't taken her to yet.

Paki bro is cool again with us using the computers, and so we browse memes together for a while, and the hambeast is still there literally doing the same thing as before. She tells me about rick and morty but I don't really like rick and morty but I pretend its cool anyway cos why not and then I show her reddit and she doesn't really get it and then I tell her 9/11 was an inside job and we spend the next 2 hours arguing over conspiracy theories.

I make 4 journeys to check on the neighbours in the meantime and my slippers are broken and flapping at this point and its fucking almost 9pm and no one is home yet. I really don't want to have to do the lame and expensive option of getting a locksmith but its getting increasingly likely. What if my neighbours were just away? I hadn't heard them banging in a while tbh...

Everytime I get back to the cafe she is slouched there scrolling instagram and she hasn't left yet and its dark now and the cafe has got that dingy yellow light grimeyness to it and with the pretty bored girl sitting there and the ambience it looked like a damn Hopper painting and that snapshot remains imprinted in my mind. Really nice.

I tell her no one is stopping her from going home as it's getting late.

She says she feels bad for me and wants to see me get tucked in bed nice and warm.

Sweet


At 9 pm I break and realise my neighbours probably aren't coming back tonight and it was just my luck (or providence) that I got locked out today. I decide to go for the last resort and call up a locksmith using the girls phone. I'm bit grumpy about it but also got shit to do tomorrow.

"I only have 1 door I'm locked out of how much and how long?"

The lady on the other side said £70. Reasonable. 40mins.... Sure.

But first I have to run it by the girl.

"You're not broke are you?"

"Why"

"I need 70 for the locksmith"

"Sure" she says

"Okay please come immediately" I tell the lady.

We leave and I attempt to give the internet cafe guy £10 of her money as a gesture of thanks but he's not having it and seems more invested in the asian tv show he's watching anyway.

So we go to the ATM so she can withdraw the cash and then return to the doorstep to wait for the locksmith.

It seems locksmiths and drug dealers have a lot in common. They always seem to be '20 more minutes".


After 80 mins the girl starts yawning and I begin to shiver cos it's cold and she cuddles up to me. I call again and basically shout at the lady on the phone to hurry up and also to give me a discount. She says 10%. I say that's not enough and I wanted 20. She said 'ok ok'.

I can feel myself getting hot angry at the whole situation now but I catch myself cos I know its stupid and I don't wanna break frame in front of the girl.

So finally, after 90 mins the guy arrives and I think its gonna be a simple affair but nope, life ain't that easy.


Final Boss

So this guy shows up and he's eyeing me up oddly and eyefucking the pretty girl. He asks what needs opening.

I show him the front door and the top latch lock that just needs to be picked or whatever, I actually have no idea how locksmiths operate but I'm sure he's had this a million times before.

He gives me a 'hmmm' and a 'haaa' and says "well it looks like I'm gonna have to drill it"

That sounds expensive.

"Drill it? Is there nothing else you can do?"

"No I'm gonna have to remove the lock and install a new one"

"Does that mean new keys and shit?"

"Yeah I'm afraid so"

"Hey man I don't wanna bother my neighbours just cos I'm an idiot, you sure there's no other way you can try?"

"No this happens all the time only way is to drill it out" he seems pretty sure of himself.

"Nah dude I'm not gonna pay for that".

It's got a bit tense because we both realise neither of us is willing to back down yet. The girl can feel the animosity between us but she seems to know her place and doesn't say anything.

The frame battle continues.

I weigh up my options. I need to get in. This guy wants to rob me. I could get a new locksmith, that means another 90 mins probably, and maybe another scumbag. Fuck that I want to get inside now.

Then I think back to one of the first lessons I learned when i stumbled across this subreddit.

"Your greatest power as a man is your ability to walk away".

I smile.

"Okay dude cool I'm not gonna inconvenience my neighbours, will figure out how to get in tomorrow"

I ask the girl "hey, can we go back to your place tonight?

She's surprised but says "sure of course".

"Cool that's sorted then, sorry dude I'm just a broke student you know haha"

I see the panic of a lost sale in his eyes, he realises that I'm not bluffing.

But I give him an opening. In truth, I actually want this damn door open. You must always give them an opening to backtrack, it helps them save face.

"Could you just give it one last look though just to make sure?"

"You know what mate, let me try something" he says, as he rummages in his van.

Of fucking course. You go for it mate. You try something mate.

Bastard.


So he grabs this long hook claw thingy and feeds it through the letter box and opens the door in 4 seconds flat and I wanna bash his fucking head in but mostly I'm just glad that we're finally inside and it's warm and also victory tastes sweet cos absolutely fuck this guy. Don't blame him that much tbh, most people are weak and agreeable and probably fall for this one all the fucking time, but that's still such an asshole way to do business.

So she hands me the cash but I give her 20 back and she has a £5 note and so I give him the £55 (for 5 mins worth of work not bad bro) and he says

"Its 70 mate"

I get a hot flash of anger. Wow. Round 2 it is.

"Your boss gave me 20% off for being late"

"I wasn't told anything about that" he says.

"Well she did"

He pauses for a moment. Still holding the money. I can feel the girl get more anxious. We're inside now and the silence makes the tension worse.

I'm pissed. "Whether she told you or not you still owe me a discount you were very late"

He smiles. It's a good shit eating smirk, ladies must like it.

"Okay but its 56."

This guy must be joking.

The hot anger cools into a shrewd sharp chill as I realise.

Fuck this guy. I know exactly what he's doing. If he's not gonna get his cash, he'll at least try and make me sperg out and break frame in front of the girl. Petty but effective, cant allow me to win too hard can he?

I give them both a smile. "Do you have a pound babe?" I ask her. She doesn't. So I go upstairs and grab a pound from my loose change. It feels great to be back in my home again. I also clean up a bit more and fabreeze. Lol.

Probably should not have left her downstairs alone with the asshole, but I get back down and he hasn't cucked me so I put the coin straight into his palm.

"Okay we're done you can go now"

He seems pleased with himself and leaves.


We get upstairs and I put the radiators on, down a glass of water and stare at myself in the bathroom mirror for a while to try to dissipate the anger. Such a great day and one guy's gotta be an asshole and ruin it.

Then I realise that I don't have to think about it that way and actually I just smashed through a significant confrontation that I would have failed miserably years ago. This is the kind of shit Dads train you for and I never had a Dad but shit, I managed to do it. They say TRP is just for picking up women but honestly it's so much more; this place taught me how to hold frame and power-talk and navigate confrontations like this. Beforehand I would have been an agreeable pussy and bent over for the guy.

And the day had been fucking great too. A day disconnected from responsibilities and exams and social media. A day free of anxiety, where I could just flow in the moment and mess around with a cute girl like I did when I was a kid... And had I never even spoke to the girl, had I pussied out in that one pivotal moment in the library, this day would never have happened.

Always approach guys, you never know where the story with that girl will go, and pussying out kills the story before it even gets to start. Regret is always worse than rejection.

As I think about this I give myself shivers and am proud, and then smile in the mirror like a fucking psycho and scare myself.... but then realise its not that bad and I can smile when I'm proud if I want it's no big deal.

I enter the living room and she's taken off her coat and shoes and looks at me warmly and says "you have a nice place" and I say 'thanks' and then she immediately and very eagerly begins removing my clothes.


Epilogue


The next morning we cook breakfast and I'm head chef and she's like my nurse handing me scalpels and shit and its fun to boss her around and she follows my instructions. Afterwards I walk her to the high street to see her off. At the ATM I withdraw all the money from the tab I racked up yesterday and pay it all back immediately. Then I kiss her off at the station.

I feel pretty darn great about myself and basically skip home and jump into bed and just take some time to process things now that I'm finally alone.

The whole of yesterday was amazing, and I learnt so much about myself. All it took was some damn disconnection from life for a while.

I consider trashing my phone and getting a brick. Could I make the leap? Probably a good fucking idea. We know now that Zuck is listening to everything we say, and I'm trying to avoid getting on more lists than the many I'm already on.

Then I think about the girl, and just how lovely and sweet she was to be around. It was like she energised and supported me, gave me the life and exuberance I was missing. I suddenly really wanted to see her again, and felt the first few hints of one-itis settle in... She was so nice and feminine and smart and loyal and had the whole girl next door "would never cheat on u" vibe going. Hey, if we were a couple this would be a great origin story to tell people... I wonder what our kids would look like...

I settle for going on facebook to look at her pictures and miss how pretty she is.

I click on her profile pic which is very demure and innocent and makes her look smart and then I see it instantly.

"In a relationship with"

Lol. Why did I get my hopes up. What was I expecting.

AWALT after all.


I have my own subreddit. Link in my profile.


[–]187oddfuture 749 points750 points  (5 children)

THE END I AM FUCKING DEAD 😂😂😂😂😂

AWALT. AWALT. AWALT.

Plate tho.

[–]Dark_T100 67 points68 points  (2 children)

good observation i would not have noticed if you had not pointed it out

[–]faggots4trump 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Thanks that is very sweet of you.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Username checks out..jk lol

[–]zephixleer 153 points154 points  (1 child)

It's like one of those fucking stories a kid makes up in his head only to live, somehow, vicariously through his own God damned fantasies...

Jesus fuck... This sub...

[–]endertheend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

youre always welcome at seddit. Why even visit here? Besides, Where is YOUR EC tag or YOUR red pill posts?

I see nothing from you.

Maybe you should just go outside.

[–]ianselfmade 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I scroll up again "Did i just read all of that?!"

[–]kurdishpower01 396 points397 points  (3 children)

This sounds like a neckbeard fantasy with the writing and shit. I love it

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Totally. Fedora fan fiction:

We walk in the night and she brags to me about how her IQ is 170 and she's in mensa and I'm like "whowh this girl is into me huh."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Funniest shit I've ever read lol

[–]Work_In_Progress92 265 points266 points  (29 children)

I remember this FR and enjoyed reading it back then.

Welcome back Heath.

[–]AshyLarry27 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Of course. I found it strange an EC would still be in college "trying things out from what I read on reddit." With some of the trash thats been on here, it was needed

[–]TallSwaggOVO 42 points43 points  (27 children)

Damn so this ain’t a true story?

[–]1jb_trp 269 points270 points  (24 children)

It reads like a humblebrag RP fanfiction.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Are you completely sure that this is your only takeaway from this story?

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Youngyoda89 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    It’s funny to me that betas view true alpha stories as fiction. Whenever they read it they can’t possibly fathom that these things actually happen when you grind your ass off and build yourself into the best man you can be.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Fiction or not, the actual atmosphere of disconnection reminded me of “Animatrix” series. That one with fat cat and Asian girl.

    This is my takeaway. I like writing style.

    Could this have happened? Maybe it didn’t happen. But for a man behaving according to TRP rules (which are no less but the natural order) it’s totally possible.

    So could this be a story, colorized a bit? Why not. It’s not a documentary. It’s actually pretty good writing.

    So if some retards see only a humblebrag fanfiction, I couldn’t care less.

    [–]Redpillandrew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That was a heck of a episode. All of them were, tbh

    [–]3LiveAFTSOV 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    it's a repost, happened awhile ago

    [–]the3urkels 134 points135 points  (4 children)

    This is the biggest bullshit I’ve ever read on this subreddit and that’s saying a lot

    [–][deleted] 152 points153 points  (20 children)

    So this is made up? No locksmith is breaking you into a building without proof of ownership. They will not even break you into a rented place. Although you limey cheeky cunts are a bit randy... so..

    [–]SirPiffingsthwaite 117 points118 points  (13 children)

    My brother is a locksmith, he's taught me how to use lock jims. Any halfway decent locksmith would pick through a lock in seconds flat. Not to mention all locksmiths charge hefty call-out fees.

    This is some serious neckbeard incel fantasy shit, but what can one expect from this sub...

    [–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Not sure where you guys are from, but I've had multiple locksmiths open my Apartment without requesting a single document, my car too.

    They make an informed judgment on the spot. Am i going to piss away the 100$ this guy could give me right now and insist on documentation, or just open the damn thing. You pay alot of these guys in cash. They're not even declaring half the jobs they do.

    [–]crazymonezyy 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    There's like a dozen loopholes in this, and by the style of writing it's clearly made up. How the fuck is this guy an EC, for contributing fiction?

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    With a dose of idiotic 9/11 conspiracy theory

    [–]zephyrprime 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Bullshit. I've called lock smiths before for a house and a car and they had to drill through the house lock and disassemble the car lock.

    [–]SirPiffingsthwaite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I bet they charged a good chunk more than if they spent 5 to 10 seconds just rifling the pins. You got got son.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    He’s a creative writer lol.

    [–]SirPiffingsthwaite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Creative writers can't be neckbeard incels?

    [–]MikeAlphaGolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    100%. Every tradesman in the world charges a call out. This is a good story, but highly doubtful.

    [–]ScamcoSpy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I see you're from a nice area. Must be pleasant.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Curtis187 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        They actually do. A locksmith broke into my house without any proof or whatever

        [–]noreturnnosurrender 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Probably depends on the location and what locksmith you get, had to call their service three times and only one of those they wanted to see ID - after they let me in to get my wallet ofc

        [–]RokSr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        As a brief overview of the rant I scrolled to the bottom and seen the “relationship status” that everyone seems to end w. Fake as usual. Incel story...

        [–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It happened to me in a foreign country when I was drunk at 8am (to open the airbnb apt I had rented). No questions asked

        [–]grograchen 68 points69 points  (3 children)

        The version you originally posted mentioned messaging her on FB at the internet cafe; towards the end of the story you said you didn't know her last name because you weren't FB friends.

        seems contradictory, people pointed it out. what was the story there?

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Check his post history, he writes for fun.

          [–]RustScientist 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          I have a hard time believing any of this story. The “tipped her coffee over her keyboard” and many other things you wrote about scream neckbeard fiction.

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Check his post history lol

          [–]The_Real_Cannaman 63 points64 points  (1 child)

          Such a nice romantic story, the end fucking crushed it like the real life that is.

          [–]_Ba_Dum_Tss_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I knew it.

          Actually I thought it was going to end with a typical one-itis and the inevitable heartbreak of OP.

          [–]RedPillCerpinTaxt 103 points104 points  (0 children)

          Haha haaaa. Amazing story mate. God damn AWALT.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [removed]

          [–]MarcosDomingues 43 points44 points  (1 child)

          Agree. He must have jizzed all over the place writing this story😂😂😂

          [–]GodOfDinosaurs 58 points59 points  (0 children)

          As I think about this I give myself shivers and am proud, and then smile in the mirror like a fucking psycho and scare myself

          I actually laughed out loud at this at work.

          [–]throwawayred213 30 points31 points  (0 children)

          Disney level story. Props my dude.

          [–]JustReadBrah 32 points33 points  (4 children)

          Brooooo, I was literally sitting in a class while reading this where the professor hasn't shown up and it's past 30 minutes the start time, literally everybody left but 2 girls sitting on the other end of the room giggling and talking low-key and glancing at me here n there, I hadn't noticed it until after finishing reading your story whcih was absolutely fucking amazing. It was like watching a movie, I have quite a wild imagination.

          Anyways, Right after I finish reading, I go over there and as "Hey, do you think the prof. is still on his way?" they look at each other puzzled and say "Ofcourse not What do you think?" I'm like "Okay so why you guys still here then." And they go like "Oh we were just very interested in knowing what you were doing over there, why you were laughing and giggling every couple of seconds." And I hysterically start laughing LOL. I then continued to explain what I had read and what a masterpiece it was, they were honestly quite impressed by your story and my way of representing it. At the time of this conversation I was trying pretty hard to just go with the flow and not focus too much on my actions cos who cares honestly, it's university and girls come and go.

          Then suddenly a force of energy just flew through me, it felt a ghost passed through and I immediately said "Do you guys want to hangout tonight around 9 p.m. and catch up on this course?" They eagerly asked for my number and were like "Definitely". Now these girls are (hot) or let me rephrase that to "Petite" I like Petite tbh.

          So I'm currently looking forward to tonight and I hope it goes well. If you got any advice for me, I'd happily apply it haha. I haven't been in a straight long convo with a girl in like forever since summer courses are just too much bro and my game has just been diminishing I think. And I really do want to just get into an awesome business school, so I am not too worried about a great story happening with these chicks. But Ehh

          Once again, great story. I say keep up your thing with that girl, it seems like she might be the one. OR SHE ALREADY IS THE ONE! Woot Woot!!

          [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 55 points56 points  (3 children)

          she might be the one. OR SHE ALREADY IS THE ONE!

          Cleanup on aisle 5, cleanup on aisle 5. We've got an unicorn hunter here.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Just don’t do exclusive relationships. Simple solution

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Lol I read your comment in this guys voice

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk

            [–]5966 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            you must be majoring in writing. had a laugh, and a smile. what a rollercoaster :-)

            [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (4 children)

            The fuck is wrong with pajamas? You sick fuck!

            [–]Curtis187 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            They’re SUPER gay! Just fuckin wear some basketball shorts or sweats you pussy

            [–]BragtimeOfficial 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            What I find funny is that the guy in the story said pajamas are gay and then immediately after mentioned how he was wearing slippers lol

            P.S. fuck off

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            So like, PJs make me a pussy? I'm so beta. Ugh! wtf am i doing with my life?

            [–]ianselfmade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I got so hooked on the story, The construction of the words seems to hook one another.

            [–]GeneRD 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            One od the best stories I have ever read in here. Would buy your book if you ever wrote one.

            [–]Ofadlaoui 16 points17 points  (2 children)

            Hahah I almost wanna tell you to become a writer.. hell with it, I will. You should become a writer dude. Your story literally got me sucked in and was so good. It even has a moral.. got me entertained!

            Too bad about the ending. But looking at my own experiences I wasn't THAT suprised.

            Thanks for sharing.

            [–]Lego_My_Alter_Eggo 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            tbh, the ending is what made the story for me. Added the needed dose of reality to balance it out.

            [–]Ofadlaoui 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I agree with your perspective as well. I tend to be quite the emotional man though.

            Almost forgot we're on /theredpill!

            [–]forbesno1 11 points12 points  (3 children)

            The problem with days like this is you can get addicted, and then you're a guy living at a beach shack, no phone, no internet, no responsibilities, party all night at hostels nearby with Russian and English tourists. But a week later you're still a guy living at beach shack, only showering once in 3 days, making less than minimum wage, no plan or progress in life. It feels great but remember to keep it in moderation, otherwise the concept of life as a whole may start to lose meaning. Apart from the fact that you may get killed by a drug addict or get into heavy drug shit yourself.

            [–]myexcuseisimyoung 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            That's because life has no meaning. We choose to give it meaning.

            [–]Youngyoda89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            This is true. Have you ever gotten yourself addicted to something?

            [–]LiftOrGTF0 28 points29 points  (0 children)

            Great story, especially the end was killing me. lmao

            Did her bf look like your classic BB, though?

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            One of the best reads on reddit ever for me. As a fellow (and probably worse) writer you should definetly think about writing books / self publishing.

            As for "I consider trashing my phone and getting a brick. Could I make the leap? Probably a good fucking idea. We know now that Zuck is listening to everything we say, and I'm trying to avoid getting on more lists than the many I'm already on."

            Just remember how insignificant you are in the scheme of things. No one cares about your data. And if a brick is going to stop you having fun in life it just isn't worth it.

            When my ego was overinflated, before spirituality occured, I sacrificed all my friendships and all my relationships to go as far "off the grid" as possible and it rekt me and gave me social anxiety. Don't do this.

            [–]3LiveAFTSOV 18 points19 points  (0 children)

            Great field report. This type of shit is straight out of a movie.

            That frame battle is a great example and lesson for guys who have trouble understanding how frame works, and how to enforce it.


            I click on her profile pic which is very demure and innocent and makes her look smart and then I see it instantly."In a relationship with"Lol. Why did I get my hopes up. What was I expecting.AWALT after all.

            These fucking hoes... These hoes aint bout shit LOL. Good job with that slut man.

            [–]Hypnot0ad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Great story! I was afraid you were catching feels but that was one damn M Night Shamalan ending.

            How did I not see that one coming?!

            [–]TheVikingPrince 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            This is fiction, but inspiring fiction. I like it.

            [–]ruboius99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            You sound like you have oneitis with a whore.

            [–]TallSwaggOVO 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            Ayy, I had some fun reading this.😂

            [–]LacroixBro 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Was this inspired by the catcher in the rye? Idk why but it gives me that vibe.

            [–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            i like how this didn't focus on the sex...

            i expected an ending like " oh yeah then we fucked like rabbits!"" pound me bro!"

            [–]u-had-it-coming 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Shitpost. No details on bang. What the F?

            [–]thrillhouss3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            So you spent ages waiting in the cafe scrolling through Facebook and reddit and don’t bother to check her relationship status? Okay...

            She says, she has an iq of 170? Yep... this is when you lost it. Nice try figuring out how real people talk.

            And she’s gonna risk stealing groceries for you even though she’s in a relationship? And her bf never texted her or called her while she was with you? Okay.

            Feel seriously sorry for the people encouraged by this.

            [–]crqze7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Absolutely littered with tenets of oneitis. Downvote me to hell neckbeards but this isn't the shit I come here for.

            [–]Comeandseemeforonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            That happened but bro you have a way with stories I can't believe I read all that

            [–]illumi019 6 points7 points  (4 children)

            I’m not a reader and usually wouldn’t read a long story like that but you kept me hooked lol (despite the petty details!).

            What does AWALT mean?

            Ashame she had a bf since she sounds like “wifey material”.

            [–]Dark_T100 25 points26 points  (1 child)

            All women are like this. You should read the sidebar, since the moral of this story is that "wifey material" doesnt exist.

            [–]enkae7317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            That was one hell of a roller coaster ride. But that ending though. Left a bad taste in my mouth. But Awalt is AWALT.

            [–]uebermacht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Welcome back, /u/Heathcliff— ! :)

            [–]EqualResponsibility 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Wait.. what kind of house hold lock can’t be picked in five minutes and needs to be drilled out? This smells fishy. And it’s not the girl.

            [–]lookoutitscaleb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I'm half way through and I just have to say I love the way you write my dude.

            This is gold.

            [–]AshyLarry27 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            By the time I got to the end, I didn't want, I NEEDED her to be in a relationship or this story would have been ruined for me.

            [–]richie871 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            So, she cheat on her boyfriend?

            [–]El_Shakiel 122 points123 points  (1 child)

            Woah boys ! We got a Sherlock over here !

            [–]rishiboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            have u seen before sunset? u sort of just described that movie. also you might like the movie 'waking life' by director richard linklater, same director of before sunset which i just mentioned.

            [–]cmski29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I don’t believe your story but it was a fun one nonetheless

            [–]mindplaybyneo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Lmao at least you got her balls deep

            [–]ParableYT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            All that build up, just to read that ending LMFAO

            [–]ZidaneLoire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            She had a bf ? So fucking what. Two of my ltrs had boyfriends. I know it's a dick move, but youu have to understand for really hot girls they're never single. They just monkey branch.

            So if you get the vibe she's into you just make sure she breaks up with her bf before you land it and it's fine.

            Just don't put your heart out in a relationship that started like this. There's a chance she's gonna break up with you whenever everything isn't to her taste anymore. It's not even just about your frame. Sometimes you gotta move away to chase that career.

            [–]kyzen142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The end was one of the plot twists I have ever witnessed lol

            [–]7mile_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Gives us the cliffs. I'm not reading a novel

            [–]1RationalDoc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Ha ha you had me in the end

            [–]thunderbeyond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Fucking loved the story. Well done!

            [–]VickVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Heathcliff, is that you?? Welcome back!!

            Thank you for this post. It is one of the best things I have ever read on here.

            [–]AriesAsF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Hmm. Because the first thing that I do when I break up with someone is run to update my facebook status and announce it to the entire world. AWALT, but occasionally give people the benefit of doubt. She seems like a great chick, ask her about it before tucking your tail between your legs because of something you read on 'facebook'. I once left "In a relationship" up for like a year after a breakup cause I fucking forgot to change it and the chick was still hoping we'd get back together so she never changed it either.

            [–]comcain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Fun read, really enjoyed it. Write more, please!!

            [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Haha great ending.

            9/11 wasn’t an inside job tho you fucking tard.

            [–]VictxrSenpai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            As soon as you mentioned the shoplifting i knew she had problems.

            [–]Youngyoda89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The end doesn’t make sense. I see your point but why do you care? A classic example of hypergamy so why were you surprised? If your smv is high enough all women are single. That being said it seemed like you liked her.

            If I was you I continue fucking with her. Who cares if she has bf? When I visualize myself in your position I see it like this- yes she would do the same to me if she saw a better man. But what are the odds that she would actually come across a better man? If you understand trp and are naturally good looking (as you describe yourself) then you are easily a top 10-20 man already.

            A lot of the superstars here are in relationships. I wouldn’t blame any woman who has a boyfriend who wants to get with me. If I were her I’d leave that nigga for me to. Just being honest.

            [–]danoranika 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Field Report of the Year lmao

            [–]a_radanoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Daaaaaamnnnn!!! Why did you do this to me?? Fuck fuck fuck! Killed it. AWALT, yes, unfortunetly. Great story!

            [–]killabeesindafront 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Dude you're a great writer

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Was all going good until “9/11 was an inside job.” Blocked user.

            [–]MYMOUTHISNUMmn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I aspire to be like you damn

            [–]SeedThrownAway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Didn't come off as entirely real but it was entertaining and may as well be true anyway. Well done heathcliff

            [–]xcj128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Always approach guys

            and they say this sub is full of bad advice...

            [–]lfc_ak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            "I enter the living room and she's taken off her coat and shoes and looks at me warmly and says "you have a nice place" and I say 'thanks' and then she immediately and very eagerly begins removing my clothes."

            "The next morning we cook breakfast"

            What happened in the middle? You banged her?

            [–]FestiveSlaad -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            Great story, not surprised to see your username is “heathcliff”

            [–]ch10011 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

            out on the wild and windy moor, we'd we'd roll and fall in green you had a temper like my jealousy, too hot too greedy

            love a bit of kate bush.

            dude smashes it up. top work dude

            [–]haku125 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            As this post was coming to a close, I was thinking to myself "this is the dream, this is what I want to get out of TRP and out of myself". And the ending, as disappointed as it made my beta self, was an important reminder of a paramount rule, a rule I was forgetting as I started to hope things went well between you and her. AWALT

            [–]system1326 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            Amazing story. Fucking brilliant.

            [–]BuddhistSC 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Why are posts on this subreddit so ridiculously long? I noticed it before but this one is comical. Does no one on this sub know how to be succinct?

            [–]huge_gap 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Because lots of new ppl with trash.

            [–]saltyafrican 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Great FR. And welcome back after your hiatus

            [–]NotoriousSnake -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            I read the whole thing. If it's real, fucking brilliant brother!

            [–]Aaron_Aero 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            What was the name of the book you briefly mentioned you read?

            [–]theotherguy00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Probably The Gulag Archipelago Book by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

            [–]MrBowick -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            I'm starting to realize awalt. There are girls that are more loyal than others but given perfect situations awalt is always in place.even last night some girl with a boyfriend I thought was just a sweet innocent flower was all over me. I broke up with my girlfriend this week and had a dream she was the same. The pill is rough to swallow

            [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

            Does OP have a bunch of fake accounts he’s making comments through??? By far most of the comments that praise him here sound similar and are way too enthusiastic, I thought this writing was fucking garbage. He’s barfed up some gross writing style–going into boring details, dragging on for way too long, overdramatizing the series of events, and seeming very unrealistic–and even if it was realistic, it’s actually not a good FR at all compared to others I’ve read.

            [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            Nice that you came back,too long to read

            [–]whatsmyname17 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

            Good ass story. All great points and I knew that it would end with AWALT, seemed too good to be true.

            [–]Shredderick420 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

            Damn, this was so nice to read, it went like motion pictures in my head, well written dude. That is really one of those days, awalt came so out of blue. Script like in a movie. Enjoyed.

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