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Red Pill ExampleBeta for 10 years --> awakens --> breaks habit and wrecks GF's (+ her daughter's) plans to continue using him (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Blake55

This is not my story - but I found it relevant to this sub. (I re-edited for decent paragraphs)


"My step-daughter wants her "Real Dad" to give her away"

My step-daughter will be getting married on August 3rd. The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother's life (I say her mother because we aren't married, though we've lived together for 10 years) for the past six months.

My step-daughter graduated last December from University. I paid for her to go to college, though it was a state school, it still ran $40K. She does not have a job and has been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation. I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school.

From time to time her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him. Although he has not contributed a cent to her education or paid any child support, though that is my girlfriend's fault as c.s. was not part of the settlement, she still loves him and wants him in her life. He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her.

The wedding venue holds 250 people max. I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited, you know, since I was paying for everything. They told me that was no problem and they'd take care of it. So I let these people know they'd be getting an invite and they should save the date. Saturday, I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn't invited. He told me that he got an announcement, but not an invitation. He had it in his back seat (along with probably six months of mail) and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was just an announcement, and my name was nowhere on it. It had her dad's name and her mom's name and not mine.

This led to a pretty big fight with my GF, as I found out that NONE of my list of twenty "made the cut" for the final guest list because "250 people is very tight." I was pissed, but not a hell of a lot I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended. My GF said "if some people didn't rsvp yes, I might be able to get a couple people in." But that is an ultimate slap in the face in my opinion. So, I was boiling on Saturday.

Yesterday, we had a Sunday dinner with the future in-law's family and us and a surprise guest, the "Real Dad." At this little dinner my step-daughter announced that her "Real Dad" was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he'd be able to give her away. This was greeted with a chorus of "Oh how great" and "How wonderful"s.

I don't think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn't sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both. Once I was sure I'd be able to speak I got up from my chair and said I'd like to make a toast. I can't remember exactly what I said but the gist of it was this:

"I'd like to make a toast." The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years. "It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years." Awe, how sweet. "At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important." Confident smiles exchanged. "They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was." And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. "Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else. As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen." I finished my drink. "You all can let yourselves out."

Is this selfish? I'm supposed to shell out 40 - 50 grand for a wedding that I can't invite anyone to? That I am not a part of? I'm so done with this crap. I'm done with my step-daughter, I'm done with my GF. I transferred the money out of our joint account last night. (she has not had a job since she moved in with me) This morning I called all the vendors I had written checks to for deposits to refund my money. At present it looks like I'll lose around 1500, for the venue, but the other vendors have been great about refunding.

TLDR: You want your "REAL DAD" to be on the invitation, to give you away and to sit at the head table, fine, your "REAL DAD" can pay for everything too.

EDIT: The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other. After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door, not once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. GF brought me Bride's wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for Father / Daughter dances. All of the songs were catered to Real Dad's taste. So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad to be done, returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small, but other than that, all I've heard is how it's the Bride's family that should pay, so, let it be the bride's family then, aka, not me.

EDIT: June 9th 1:15 am. Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out. They are moving in with the groom. It was very hard not to be petty with some of the "belongings" they took with them, but it's done and I switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. I can't believe how popular this story got, but I feel good to be given support by so many. If I find out what happens with the wedding, I will let you know, but I can't guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out. From what I've heard they are trying to "scale things back" and get his parents to help out. GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.


[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]redpill_man 236 points237 points  (62 children)

I remember this thread. I check it every so often to see if the guy gives any more updates. Luckily most of Reddit agreed with the guy. The particular sub that this thread was in has been taken over by SRS, so I doubt you would get the same responses now.

[–]puaSenator 48 points49 points  (6 children)

I remember reading it as well. What sub was it in?

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 41 points42 points  (2 children)

It was posted here before (word for word) but it is still pretty awesome reading it a second time.

I think it was posted like 6+ months ago I'm guessing so some of the newer members would have something to learn from this.

[–]caius_iulius_caesar 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Or the members who aren't on /r/TRP 24/7.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah... well when it was posted the first time it was at the top of the main page for several days... and damn it's already up to +714 points.

[–]Stationary_Wagon 70 points71 points  (2 children)

I think it originally belonged to r/offmychest . It has the highest all-time upvotes on that subreddit. I remember reading it a couple months back.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Blake55[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, that's where I got it from. I tried posting the link, but it was auto-deleted and said that I can't cite the sub I've sourced it from (if a reddit post).

    [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (13 children)

    A few months later there was another one. A different guy, same situation. Everyone pointed him to the one w are discussing. Didn't end as well. Dude number 2 was proud to be used as an ATM.

    [–]Manuel_S 9 points10 points  (12 children)

    Can you find it?

    Hei, if you bend over, don't cry when it goes in.

    [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (10 children)

    You're in luck. My comment was one of my most rated.

    Here

    [–]redpill_man 27 points28 points  (7 children)

    Grin and bare it is my motto.

    Grin and bear it, he says. Grin and fucking bear it? You know what, I'm done feeling bad for these guys. If they put themselves in these types of situations and their response is something like that then you deserve what you get.

    [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    I never have felt bad for them. If they enjoy being used, that's their fetish, so be it.

    [–]fartrhymes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    you deserve what you get indeed

    [–]theredslap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    no no...he said grin and bare it..he was referring to his ass..

    [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    What the hell. That guy literally says "So I saw that thread, I agreed with it, but I'm more interested in being a matyr-beta-bucks than stopping other people from using me. Good day!"

    I mean, goddamn, some dudes will really just shove their head in the sand

    [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    A beta and his money are parted easily by the right pair of legs.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It wasn't a text post, it was a scumbag girl steve meme in advice animals. I will try to find it but I make no promises

    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (39 children)

    SRS?

    [–]Evers89 49 points50 points  (23 children)

    Shitredditsays. You can pay a visit to the sub if you like. It used to be about funny shit. Now it's a nightmare of pussies and feminists defending and discussing garbage.

    [–]menina_realista 11 points12 points  (8 children)

    It used to be about funny shit.

    I used to think it was a joke sub, kind of like the Flat Earth forums where they pretend to think the world isn't round. A lot of the SRS commenters seem to be serious, though... maybe I'm just gullible.

    [–]Evers89 21 points22 points  (4 children)

    You're correct they're serious. The fact they're taking what they chat about seriously bothers me.

    Fun fact: A lot of reddit thinks they're a joke and a cult. Maybe similar to us, but ironically they're the ones who are supposed to be the "good guys" or some shit.

    [–]sliqwilly 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    SRS = Your authority isn't recognized in Fort DickAss

    [–]MartialWay 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    SRS are the "Jocks" of the Opression Olympics. If Reddit were High School, SRS would be the towel snapping bullies that make gay jokes and when someone's older brother calls them on it, they get meek and claim "We were just kidding". The joke is that they really ARE awful bigots, pretending to be awful bigots.

    [–]lordofsinisterthumps 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Who ARE those people? Is it some bizarre kind of trolling?

    [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Social justice warriors. The keyboard white knights of the internet. Basically people with fuck-all else to do in their lives since they've bitched all their friends/boyfriends/relatives out of their lives already.

    [–][deleted]  (14 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]lordofsinisterthumps 2 points3 points  (9 children)

      Are you saying that SRS are literally SA?

      It all makes sense now.

      [–][deleted]  (8 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]lordofsinisterthumps 2 points3 points  (6 children)

        That's very interesting. It all makes sense now. SA is strange and disturbing, I've seen what they do in Eve Online which they basically completely took over. They may have moved on by now...

        They have entire guides on how to warp and distort discourse in online forums.

        Do you have links?

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        This would have sounded like a silly conspiracy (who would go to that much trouble?) to the person I was when I found reddit a couple of years ago... but man, nowadays I can hardly read the comment sections of most of the default subs without cringing at all the mutual masturbation going on (and who can forget the god awful endless repetitions of the same 'jokes' - talk about deja vu). r/TheRedPill, and, to a lesser extent, r/mensrights, have acted as a sanctuary from the bullshit.

        [–]TfahsNoriEht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Unfortunately that's not a conspiracy. Most people really are mentally deficient.

        [–]1rporion 784 points785 points  (40 children)

        I did not know that there was such a thing as RP porn....

        This is my 50 shades of grey.

        [–]Ramen_N00Bdlz 186 points187 points  (2 children)

        I swooned half a dozen times. My hero!

        [–]TheRabid 61 points62 points  (0 children)

        Someone should write a book or make a movie.

        [–]Manuel_S 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        This guy did it totally right.

        [–][deleted] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

        Well said, I'm going to get some lube.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 51 points52 points  (1 child)

        I like these Breaking Beta posts

        [–]DudeWithAHighKD 30 points31 points  (28 children)

        There has to be more of these out there. I really want someone to find more.

        [–]SigmaMu 141 points142 points  (27 children)

        [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (2 children)

        I love the ending. It's all happy and everything

        [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

        lol, yeah. It even ends with a party... it's a fucking Adam Sandler's movie.

        [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        In a parallel universe where movies are red pill.

        [–]DudeWithAHighKD 56 points57 points  (8 children)

        Thankyou for this. I don't get how woman with ideologies like hers will ever find a man.

        [–]cbarrett1989 31 points32 points  (2 children)

        My first problem would be that any woman with even remotely half a brain to understand that 60 year old cars are vakuable enough to pay for a wedding, shoukd also know they are valuable enough to keep.

        [–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

        The fact that she wanted to sell something tangible that's invaluable to her fiance as a family heirloom while simultaneously holding REAL value to pay for A SINGLE FUCKING DAY is absolutely insane.

        [–]cbarrett1989 10 points11 points  (3 children)

        My first problem would be that any woman with even remotely half a brain to understand that 60 year old cars are vakuable enough to pay for a wedding, shoukd also know they are valuable enough to keep.

        [–]DudeWithAHighKD 39 points40 points  (2 children)

        I also hate that she wanted to use the money toward the wedding. Why should they spend all his money on one party when they can use the money for a down payment on a house or something. The notion of weddings should be expensive I find very stupid and wasteful.

        [–]cbarrett1989 24 points25 points  (0 children)

        Weddings being expensive harken back to a time when weddings were almost exclusively had by royalty. Fast forward to the age of the $40m a year millionaire and everyone has the same mentality. Its fucking disgusting and marriage itself isnt too far behind.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        because looks are on her and it's her princess day

        [–]tenin2010br 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        Damn I wish I had popcorn for that.

        [–]1thedangerboy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        I got a slight chub.....

        [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        I love the way she goes from loudmouthed cunt to desperate harpy.

        Like watching the slow decay of a meth head in time-lapsed photos.

        [–]Andrewticus04 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Oh lawd, I think I just came.

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I read this every time it's posted. It's worth it every time.

        [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        wow this is amazing. SRS women are so repulsive even beta dudes will leave them.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        This twat lives in my city.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Fucking epic. Taking themselves out of the gene pool, one trigger at a time.

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        I usually hate replys that add little to the conversation but~ Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Warranted for this one.

        [–]ilike2partyhowaboutu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        So GOOOD!

        Thank you!

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Thank you for this. Seriously.

        [–]smokeybehr 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        If you'll excuse me, I'll be in my rack...

        [–]moresmarterthanyou 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        got me hot and heavy

        [–]ilike2partyhowaboutu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        My heart started racing as he got to the cheer/announcement/telloff part! SO GOOD!!!! UNNNNFFFFFFFFHHHAARRAAHAHHhha.

        [–][deleted]  (10 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          The bridges I burn shall light the way

          [–]mysterr9 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          only way to be sure...

          [–]charlie_bodango 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          GAME OVER MAN!

          [–]Blake55[S] 45 points46 points  (5 children)

          I am disappointed it took so long, but also happy it was at a point where they got burnt.

          [–]smallpoxinLA 61 points62 points  (8 children)

          What drives me really mad in this story is the fact that they don't see what was wrong with this attitude they had. I wonder sometime if the only solution would be to lecture them one by one to see if they would realize. It literally drives me insane.

          [–]sweetleef 47 points48 points  (0 children)

          they don't see what was wrong with this attitude they had.

          He's a guy with money willing to give it to them. If he keeps giving, take it. If he stops, find another host to latch onto. Right and wrong don't enter their minds, getting their hands on the money is the point. If you know any hard drug addicts you'll recognize the pattern.

          The real lesson here is: never get involved with a woman with children. She'll always be thinking of providing for the children first (which is logical), you'll never be able to rank close to the value of her children in her life, and it's likely neither she nor the kids will respect you for supporting another man's child. The dynamic is different if the father has passed away, but it's still a minefield for the new guy.

          [–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

          I bet the mom was like "quick honey, tonight while he is alone moping at his office, here's his password to the online portal of his bank account, grab the 50k from their quick. I'll go have a talk with him about why we had to do it."

          You can't talk to these people. If they were capable of being reasonable, just, fair, moral, etc etc they wouldn't have done all this in the first place. There is no solution except to let the world teach them that if they are manipulative gold-diggers, they will be put out on their ass. If they contribute value and make a man's life better, they may find a good home.

          [–]2jagrmeister721 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          There is no solution except to let the world teach them that if they are manipulative gold-diggers, they will be put out on their ass. If they contribute value and make a man's life better, they may find a good home.

          Yes, very true. Men internalize values and live them. In contrast, women (like children) must be shown by example and consequence what happens if they choose selfish opportunism over mutualism.

          [–]Traz_Onmale 5 points6 points  (3 children)

          Perhaps she thought that her job in the relationship was only to provide sex.

          [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Only when she wanted it, though.

          [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          That's some pretty goddamn expensive sex.

          [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (5 children)

          So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to

          I think this is the shittiest realization of the whole ordeal. Glad OP came out on top and told those two cunts to get fucked.

          "Selfish". Bitch, gtfowtbs.

          [–][deleted]  (4 children)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

            I dunno. I do think evolutionary biology has geared women to look for a man who can provide for them and the better a provider he can be the more likely she is to choose him as a mate, but is it the sole motivation..? I know that NAWALT gets thrown around religiously in this subreddit. There's a good chunk of women (I'll even concede that it's probably the majority) who do solely view a man as an ATM and once that is gone so are they but I wouldn't say it's 100% of women out there.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Maybe for this new generation of women..? I definitely see that attitude way more in younger women.

              My mom and several friends' mothers were all the breadwinners of the household and they all managed to stay married to our fathers.

              AWALT doesn't explain them. I still believe it's true for the majority of women, because like you said - why gamble?

              You cannot trust a woman, but you can trust a woman to be a woman. Do you understand?

              Oh yeah. Which is why I refuse to get married. Put a ring on it..? Nope. No thank you.

              Anyone who thinks they are safe because they got a prenup is kidding themselves. Hollywood makes it seem like they are ironclad when in reality they get thrown out of court all the time.

              [–]TfahsNoriEht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I know that NAWALT gets thrown around religiously in this subreddit.

              That's called sarcasm. NAWALT is a cliche excuse.

              [–][deleted] 141 points142 points  (10 children)

              you still have the venue? invite a bunch of college buddies for a kegger. with strippers. send GF an announcement, but not an invitation.

              [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

              Bravo. Bravo.

              [–]BleLLL 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              This is not my story - but I found it relevant to this sub. (I re-edited for decent paragraphs)

              [–]myownmyth 85 points86 points  (6 children)

              It'd be great to have an index of these great RP Ah Hah! moments.

              Most attacks on RP seem to be that we are angry and bitter misogynistic men but the 2nd stage of loss and grief is Anger.

              Red Pill is about killing our illusions ("bad programming") in regards to the rules of attraction. Writing poems never got me laid. Giving women unnecessary praise for accomplishing nothing except being physically attractive didn't get me laid. What gets me laid now is a deep confidence that comes from continually watching this "bad programming" die.

              [–]TheRabid 58 points59 points  (1 child)

              I find that the pills help me see that there is infinitely more to life than the affection of a woman.

              [–]Azzmo 12 points13 points  (1 child)

              This comment is sidebar material, my friend. Explains concisely the rather cynical and bitter tone of the place.

              Most people here are kind and caring human beings who have somewhat recently had their hearts broken by learning that everything they've been promised and taught by people they trusted was a lie and that they were raised, with intention, to be less than they could be.

              If someone attacks a grieving person or group of people I think that says something about their empathy or intelligence and so I attribute those failings to the general sections of reddit who seek to demonize.

              [–]boscodaze 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Best comment.

              [–]epic_pig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Thanks for the reminder.

              [–]bigyellowtwinki 27 points28 points  (0 children)

              Whether this is a true story or not, this fable should be entered into the redpill bible as, "The Book of the Alpha fucks, Beta bucks" Every young beta pining for a woman's affection and a family should be made to read this from his alpha brothers, father, or friends and forced to answer questions correctly before being allowed to seek pussy.

              [–][deleted]  (3 children)

              [removed]

              [–]Doctor_Mayhem 25 points26 points  (2 children)

              Not to mention how he already lost 40k for his stepdaughter's worthless degree, and God knows how much else was leeched from him. He didn't pay a small price, he merely cut his losses before he paid more.

              [–]WeAreAllSheep 23 points24 points  (0 children)

              Jesus christ this guy spent 10 years as a sucker...

              LOL and I bet most of those asshats and their family see him as the "bad guy."

              LOL @ "all the work he ruined" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I laughed pretty hard at that one.

              Link to original?

              [–]General_Fear[🍰] 115 points116 points  (8 children)

              And the moral of the story is. Never get involved with a single mother.

              My brother's story.

              My brother married a woman with 2 kids. He feed, clothed and housed those 2 kids. When they were grown and moved out of the house, the kids never once called him on his birthday or father's day. And here is the kicker. Once the kids were gone. So did the wife. He looks back at his life and realized that he was played big time. The wife used him to raise her kids.

              This this bears repeating. DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH SINGLE MOTHERS!

              Don't look at them, don't talk to them and in your mind they should be dead to you.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

                [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                I think it's the James Bond relationship advice.

                [–]2jagrmeister721 33 points34 points  (1 child)

                A key part of this is Ignoring society's fable that "single moms" are somehow special. The second key is to ignore your manly instinct to be Capt-Save-A-Ho. There's a reason the 'damsel in distress' is in distress and 99% of the time it's her doing.

                [–]ButterMyBiscuit 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                Single moms aren't inherently bad. If the father died or something drastic happened that's entirely out of her hands. Avoid the casually divorced single moms like the plague, though.

                [–]Aaron565 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                Fucking amazing.

                OP, there is one thing you must do to put icing on the cake. Tell the real dad that you have no hard feelings and explain why you did what you did. Do the same with the groom and his family.

                Notice how only the men will agree and the women scorn you for not fulfilling your beta purposes.

                Dont worry though loosing those two fucks was a small price to pay for freedom. Oh wait, I forgot paying her college fees. I am very sorry for your loss. (Is there any way to relinquish those payments too?)

                [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                I've seen this a long time ago on MR. (They eventually come up with some good content). Good job on him. It sucks that the human mind sometimes needs to reach such a shitty low to wake the fuck up to what is happening.

                But at least he woke up. Many, many, many men never do. Or even worse, they do wake up to the truth, but they are little pacifier sucking pussies who lack the spine to assert themselves and break out of the beta bucks role.

                Also, single moms will very rarely give a fuck about you beyond your paycheck. I don't blame them for this - if I had a child, I would care about that child more than any other woman. It simply just makes them a horrible choice for a long term mate. Because they have a pragmatic sort of selfishness (once again, not blaming them for having this, it is natural), they will continuously project that onto you. Oh, you won't pay for my spawn's Philosophy degree? Selfish. It goes on and on - the most selfish person in the room sees everyone else as more selfish than they are.

                [–]Shooter-Mcgavinn 12 points13 points  (1 child)

                Wow. I'm glad this guy finally realized what was going on and how little respect they have for him. Seriously. He paid for your college, raised our ass and was gonna help with your wedding, and he's not related to you at all. The very fact they would do this to himabd then get upset when he stands up for himself is beyond infuriating. Good for him. And fuck those two.

                [–]jmottram08 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.

                Nope, that makes you intelligent.

                Plus, it is your money.

                If you moved "joint" money and she never tried to touch it, then maybe you would be "an ass"... but as things stand, no.

                Don't think poorly of yourself because of the things that she forced/forces you to do.

                [–]CbrWombat 13 points14 points  (3 children)

                Ten years of his life and God knows how much of this man's money wasted on a gaggle of women who never really loved him. How sad. You realise, don't you, that she would have jettisoned him anyway, the moment the last of her kids were successfully launched?

                [–]Blake55[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                Your wording reminded me of these birds haha

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brood_parasite

                [–]autowikibot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                Here's a bit from linked Wikipedia article about Brood parasite :


                Brood parasites are organisms that use the strategy of brood parasitism, a kind of kleptoparasitism found among birds, fish or insects, involving the manipulation and use of host individuals either of the same (intraspecific brood-parasitism) or different species (interspecific brood-parasitism) to raise the young of the brood-parasite. This relieves the parasitic parent from the investment of rearing young or building nests, enabling them to spend more time foraging, producing offspring etc. Additionally, the risk of egg loss to raiders such as raccoons is mitigated, by having distributed the eggs amongst a number of different nests. As this behaviour is damaging to the host, it will often result in an evolutionary arms race between parasite and host.


                Picture - A Common Cuckoo being raised by a Reed Warbler.

                image source | about | /u/Blake55 can reply with 'delete'. Will also delete if comment's score is -1 or less. | Summon: wikibot, what is something? | flag for glitch

                [–]lordofsinisterthumps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                This is why it's called "cuckold." Cuckold actually refers to the cuckoo.

                [–]themasterof 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                No matter how special the single mother is, I will never even consider a relationship with a single mother. Never. Ever.

                [–]Moneyley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                Went through something very similar (2 yrs) I hated The Real dad thing. Being in that situation is like "oh hes such a good bf" but its like somehow the woman creates an aura of "I have him (you) because of how bad my last relationship turned out" They feel entitled to someone providing for them because the last guy didnt.

                [–]watersign 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                jesus, im sure reddit is trying to blame this guy...someone from SRS lol

                [–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (35 children)

                As a tactical matter, it was dangerous for him not to close the accounts BEFORE making the speech. And then (I know it foregoes the Hallmark moment), he shouldn't have made the speech. Anything you say will be taken down and used as evidence that you're an abusive husband. Get your lawyer to do the talking.

                [–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (11 children)

                They aren't married, but your advice is sound for the indentured among us.

                [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (10 children)

                Shit doesn't matter in some countries.

                In mine we have defacto partnerships, they can still gouge you even if you're not married, just so long as you check enough boxes in the criteria of defacto partnerships.

                [–]aalex440 6 points7 points  (6 children)

                This is what terrifies me - in some jurisdictions (mine included) if you're in a co-habiting LTR for a certain length of time you're considered to be in a 'de facto relationship' and if the relationship ends the partners could lay claim to the other's assets.

                [–]_Reticent_ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

                We call this 'Common Law Marriage' in England. My dad told me a sneaky way to mitigate the damages if you are co-habiting though, and it's all about paper-trail.

                Essentially, this only works if she comes and lives with you/you have your own home.

                Keep all bills in your name, mortage, gas, electric, water, council-tax, etc. but make her pay for the shopping; something that is disposible and has no address linking the purchase to the property, and get her to send her mail to her home/a forwarding address.

                The timeframe is two years for CLM in England, so provided you can keep this going it should mitigate the amount owed (if any) as there will be no proof of her having contributed.

                They can't be entitled to half, or anything for that matter, if you have been providing it and can prove so.

                [–]aalex440 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                That's interesting. I'm not sure if the paper-trail method works here in New Zealand, but people used to put their houses into family trusts which were immune - but I believe that's changed now.

                A colleague of mine told me that when his relationship ended, his five houses - owned by a company he owned - were split between them. The only way around it is to get a new partner before every 3 years. Or perhaps by having your property business owned by a holding company in the Bahamas...

                [–]Dream4eva 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Put all your money into physical gold, then 'lose' the gold.

                [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                This is the case in Canada. It's called a Common Law relationship. Essentially if you look like you're living like a married couple, you're treated exactly as if you were one. It's fucking bullshit.

                [–]-Tom 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                What country are you in, if you don't mind me asking?

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                Australia.

                [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Same holds true in Canada

                [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 59 points60 points  (9 children)

                The speech was probably impromptu spur-of-the-moment thing than something he planned.

                He picked the perfect time to drop the bomb and was quick and diligent in mopping up the mess the next day.

                As others have said it's a GF not wife so she's not technically entitled to half of everything.

                In the end he was dead on... They were just using him as an ATM.

                [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (8 children)

                The spur-of-the-moment explanation is consistent and plausible. But since it's an unverified story, instead of getting too bogged down in those details, I think it's better to treat it as a fable or parable and discuss the lessons.

                One of those lessons is to do with closure. Making the speech gave him emotional closure, and if the story is true it all worked out for him. But it's a dangerous thing. He's emotional, caught on the back foot, unlikely to express himself wisely or well. He's on enemy territory, with none of his own friends in the wedding party, so the worst possible interpretation will be put on anything he says.

                The more important closure he should have been looking for at that moment was business closure. He's found out that he's been screwed in a complex, long-term business transaction, so his priority should have been to cut his losses. Since his partner has been treating it all along as a business transaction, he should assume that she knows where the assets are stashed and how to take possession of them quickly. In this particular story, the partner was evidently slow off the mark in her asset grab, so it worked out ok for him. I'm surprised that he managed to recover his deposits for the wedding costs - he must be an unusually persuasive negotiator.

                The length of his relationship and the financial support of the stepdaughter can mean in some jurisdictions that his relationship is treated as a de-facto or common-law marriage.

                [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 8 points9 points  (7 children)

                Yeah... the lesson people should take from this is that everyone has their breaking point.

                Seriously if they had invited his 20 people or made at least one of the meals with something he wasn't allergic to... Yeah, he'd still probably be sailing through a blue pill storybook life. The big old fuck you's thrown in his direction basically made him realize he was spending $50k on something he was not going to be able to enjoy and he said fuck this shit and torpedoed the ATM machine bullshit LIKE A BOSS.

                He could potentially be at risk of paying alimony but lets assume that he is not since I don't think there are many states or jurisdictions that have the whole marriage by adhesion thing going.

                [–]LOLCL 2 points3 points  (6 children)

                There is such a thing as common-law marriage.

                [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (4 children)

                In something like seven states.

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                Nine states, plus the District of Columbia, though they all differ.

                [–]HitlersCow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                It's my understanding common-law marriage is only consummated by a child being born.

                Maybe that's just in Texas. Am I wrong?

                [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

                OP was never married to the bride's mother.

                [–]Johnny_Shades 17 points18 points  (7 children)

                It was his GF. You don't need a lawyer for breaking up with a GF.

                [–]KJL13 17 points18 points  (6 children)

                You may depending on the circumstances of your relationship.

                [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

                True. Common-law marriage is in place in some states.

                [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

                If they have lived together for many years and the move out is not amicable, you could easily end up litigating over that as well, married or not.

                [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                Yup. My friend was fucked up the ass by squatter's rights laws in CA. He was paying the full rent, she was just mooching off him, they broke up, he couldn't kick her out. He didn't want to just lift her and chuck her shit out because he rightfully knew that could land him in jail. Eventually the landlord couldn't evict her so they had to take it to court, which ruled that she had "squatters rights" for 60 more days there. He had to just deal with it and pay 2 more months of rent himself, even though the landlord had a candidate to move in and replace her, which would help him with rent.

                He eventually couldn't be in the same place as her and his landlord offered him his couch (they were bros). After the 60 months, she racked up 1200$ worth of damages to the apartment because she didn't give a fuck, then jetted. Luckily the landlord was well off and could afford a great lawyer, and she was sued for the damages + court fees. She of course, disappeared and we couldn't figure out how to garnish her wages or anything, since she didn't do shit. The two of them + the lawyer tracked down her parents, explained the entire situation, and the dad shrugs and says "Yeah. Sounds like something she would do. Here's a check for the lost rent and the damages. This whole time I was sending her 1.5k a month for rent and groceries, she told me she was paying for it..."

                [–]LMAO_USERNAMES 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                She of course, disappeared and we couldn't figure out how to embellish her checks or anything, since she didn't do shit.

                *garnish her wages

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                6 months of living with someone in my country.

                [–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                To be fair, he was unaware of the real dad making a surprise guest appearance in order to sweep what little respect they had for him away. It was the last straw and he snapped.

                [–]Manuel_S 7 points8 points  (5 children)

                Whats with all this expensive marriage shit?

                I've heard Americans will load their asses with debt for a stupid, 50% odds of going well ceremony.

                Is it a thing there, or just that the ones I hear about stand out?

                [–]Lipophobicity 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                28.4k is the 2012 average, which is insane

                http://money.cnn.com/2013/03/10/pf/wedding-cost/index.html

                [–]Freshtowels 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Women demand these costly marriages. They have no sense of finance or value. For a lot of these marriages the groom isnt even important. ... he s just the chump she settled for.

                [–]drallcom3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Yeah, it's insane. All you need for a wedding that everyone remembers is a decent buffet and an open bar.

                [–]GMotor 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                I've never met you and I only have your side of this.

                BUT

                GOOD FOR YOU.

                [–]DMVSavant 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                "So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh."

                I think the OP not only saved the remainder of his money but his life.

                Wouldn't put it past the vampires to "arrange" his premature demise-

                [–]2jagrmeister721 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                You are a fuckin boss. This story is everywhere- Reddit is the 3rd place I've seen it. I'd type in hell yeah 10 times in all caps but you get the point. Line in the sand, you crossed it, now GTFO. Single moms and their offspring are the biggest abusers of men. They take advantage of our nobility- our willingness to support, provide, and help. We want to help the damsel in distress and her daughter who now lacks a father. But they don't reciprocate. They are an exaggerated version of all women, with an enlarged Hamster.

                To all the lurker twats: your bullshit games are coming to an end.

                [–]AbsoluteAltitude 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                Oh that was a gloriously beautiful wakeup call. I wish my RP testimony was equal to this one.

                [–]Red_Work 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                I would love to see an index on the side bar of "red pill moments" like this.

                [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                First rule of women + money is that you never join accounts till you are married. And you can swap this with money + men if you want. Men are capable of being petty too, and situations where a relationship goes south and it's the woman who's got the financial leverage are becoming more common.

                Second rule of money and women is that you never give her access to your accounts. Period. This ain't about being nice, its about a woman with an addictive personality and a preference to gambling getting access to your 401k and blowing it on risky investments.

                Third rule is that you have money set aside in an account she will never know about. It can be as little as 1,000 bucks or 100,000. It should be enough to keep you afloat with little financial stress for anywhere from 3 months to a year, depending on your line of work and how long it can take to get a new job. You have to assume she's going to trump charges against you that aren't real, which gets you fired from your job even if you're acquitted. Or just that she shit talks her way into getting you fired.

                Fourth? Assuming you do merge accounts never put all your eggs in one basket. If you ever divorce or break up you can assume that within a day any shared accounts will be completely empty.

                [–]dave_is_not_here 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                YOU MY HERO, BRO! FUCK YA!

                By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her

                You're not an asshole for protecting your assets from a manipulative, vindictive and cruel woman like that.

                [–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                I've seen this story so many times, and every time I read it, it brings me much joy.

                Even though he did fork out $40k for tuition for the awful daughter, it is rare to see true justice like this in the world.

                [–]JoJackthewonderskunk 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                Source?

                [–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                It's one of the topmost upvoted stories in /r/offmychest.

                [–]TheRabid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                This guy deserves all of my karma. Whatever you need bro. Fuck the xgf and daughter.

                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                i like happy endings

                [–]Lilcheeks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Feel-good story of the year.

                [–]im_a_leadfarmer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Important lesson is: You shall react to bad stuff BEFORE it escalates to huge dramas like this one above.

                [–]pro_skub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Okay, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here: you teach people how you want to be treated. If you act like an ATM that's all you'll ever be to them. Money is no substitute for other things also that may have been lacking on that relationship either.

                Now at that point, breaking up and refusing to pay up seems like a better choice that whatever this guy was doing until then.

                [–]romerom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                three cheers for this man :)

                [–]EnduroRacer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Speechless with a huge grin on my face. Bravo my friend, bravo.

                [–]1RXRob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I love this story so much

                [–]Deano101 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                I hope he took his friends out for a good time on the day of the wedding - he's saved $40k* afterall, that's worth celebrating

                [–]minorthreat77 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                You forgot the "k"

                [–]SgtSplacker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Good move man, sorry this happened to you.

                [–]Doctor_Mayhem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Good on this guy. Man, does that red pill moment hurt. I can think of few things that hurt worse than the red pill moment that makes a man see everything clearly, and they're all physical.

                But it's worth it.

                Anyone else feel a strange sense of relief after, hell, even during that painful moment?

                [–]pbfryman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Good job op, fuck them both

                [–]bh3244 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                i just got a raging erection

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I got a massive boner reading that.

                [–]through_a_ways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Prevention is the best medicine, but treatment makes for a much better story

                [–]Coolpapa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Standing ovation. Slow, deliberate clapping.

                [–]DanReggins 8 points9 points  (4 children)

                The RP is extremely bitter. It never gets less so. But it's the most healthy pill a self-respecting male can take. So we do it.

                Take it as soon as you can. With the $40k that this man WASTED, you can instead live like a king for FOUR YEARS -- without working -- in a nice tropical country fucking lots of young, hot women bareback.

                That said, it is never too late to take it.

                His "girlfriend" wanted a beta. Make no mistake -- him swallowing the RP didn't suddenly make him an alpha superstud. No, his "girl" left him.

                But that's ok, because some women WANT a beta provider. But, as he clearly demonstrated, that is not in ANY man's best interest.

                The scariest and most amazing part of this story? The cuckolding bitch moving in with the NEW groom. Is that what he was hoping for with the expensive wedding?

                Again -- why get married? To be the beta of a bitch who learned from her cuckolding mother and wanted her "real" "alpha" felon half-man "dad" there?

                [–]annul 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                With the $40k that this man WASTED, you can instead live like a king for FOUR YEARS -- without working -- in a nice tropical country

                tell me more about this plan.

                [–]CbrWombat 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                The scariest and most amazing part of this story? The cuckolding bitch moving in with the NEW groom. Is that what he was hoping for with the expensive wedding?

                He wasn't cuckolded - thats when your wife pretends someone else's bastard is yours. And the groom they moved in with is the daughter's husband. Ha! Poor bastard now has poisonous, gold digging MIL under his own roof. Wold it be nice if he learned something form the OP and thew the two of them out, too?

                [–]Mightyskunk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                I think I just went gay. For this dude only.

                [–]TheLawlessMan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                I can't imagine how I would have felt in his position and I don't think I would have been able to handle it as smoothly as he did. Not even the bride was on his side. Congratulations on getting out (to the original guy).

                [–]TheRabid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I hope that I never have to find out. I think that he let them off too easily. Much much too easily.

                [–]slcjosh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I remember this guy. Hope he turned out alright.

                [–]swaggerjackerr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Link to original post?

                [–]SILENTSAM69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                That was very inspirational. Way to show people how not to be treated as a tool.

                [–]SpecialBuddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I am impressed that he was able to hold on to his nuts in this one. Good job.

                [–]grandmazboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Atta' boy.

                [–]Minger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Bravo!

                [–]otiswild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Oh man.. That is the greatest thing on the internet all day. Thank you for the smiles.

                [–]Kelly_Gruber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Fucking beautiful, hope this guys much happier now he deserves it.

                [–]frugal_masturbater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Dude you are in the right, fuck the two of them. Goes to show you, as a man you can't do things right.

                GOOD ON YOU, this whole thing. You have more than done your "part", way more. Enjoy your brews and post if you need something.

                [–]Idontlikekarmawhores 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I cant believe people let others use them like that! Damn! I m so terrible sad :( what has happen to my fellow men :(

                [–]jobs33ker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                Seriously who the fuck sends an "announcement" to someone they aren't actually inviting?

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