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Field ReportDirty Sheets (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Senior ContributorRedPope

TL;DR: Some people can never get enough.

I spent a wonderful three day weekend with my girlfriend of five months. We've been monogamous since March. I'm in my early 40s, divorced dad. She is a 33 year old career girl, no kids, never married. We're both attractive, physically fit, and have very high sex drives.

We spent most the weekend at my place. We had sex three times on Friday, four on Saturday, and twice more on Sunday. She orgasms quickly and repeatedly. She comes so often that one orgasm will blur into the next. Impossible to count how many times I got her off.

The weather was perfect. In between lovemaking, we ate great meals, watched some Netflix, spent our afternoons laying by the pool, and nights soaking in the hot tub. It was an amazingly relaxing weekend that we both needed. She had a great time. Sunday evening, she snuggled up close. "This weekend has been so perfect, I don't want it to end!" But we both had to work in the morning, so eventually she had to head home.

All day Monday, she sent me text after text. Sweet and sexual. Very flirtatious. "When will I see you again?" I replied that I had to get caught up on stuff, but I might be able to stop by for a short visit tomorrow after work. "Perfect! I need more of you!"

I spent Monday night doing housework and other chores. I had an empty fridge, dirty dishes and laundry from the weekend. She texted me steadily throughout the night. Same all day Tuesday. "I can't wait to see you!"

I left the office and arrived at her house right as she was pulling in the drive. She walked over and greeted me with a passionate kiss on the sidewalk. We went inside.

We talked for a few minutes and I fixed us a couple drinks. She excused herself to use the restroom. I needed to pee too. Rather than wait for her, I chose to use the toilet in the master bath upstairs. I carried the drinks to her bedroom. I had limited time, and we'd be heading there soon anyway. I walk by her bed and immediately notice a dried cum stain in the center of the sheets.

What the fuck?

I haven't been here in a week.

Holy shit.

I go take a piss. Thoughts are racing through my head. What should I do? Should I call her out? Demand an explanation? Or just quietly leave? One thing is certain: I'm done with her. She cheated. It is over.

When I come out, she's pulling the sheets off the bed. Very nonchalantly, she says, "The cat was on the bed, let me change the sheets. She's shedding like crazy."

Equally emotionless, I comment that with the warmer weather, she needs to brush the cat more often. I help her put on the new sheets, and we immediately start having sex. Afterwards she snuggles up to me.

She purrs in my ear. "You've been fucking me so much, I've been raw for days." She claims she has been unable to focus at work, thinking of me so often.

I give her a squeeze, then remind her I need to take off. We dress and she walks me out. One last kiss in the door and I drive away.

She texts me later that night. I do not reply.

The next day, she texts me: "Good morning, sexy!" A few more texts follow, roughly one per hour. I don't answer any of them. Around lunchtime she asks, "Is everything OK?" I tell her we'll talk after work.

I call her up. She asks if I'm upset. I calmly respond, "Of course. You slept with some other guy." She denies it. I tell her I saw the sheet. She goes quiet, then tries to claim it was me, from the previous week. I tell her to stop lying.

I maintained an emotionless and calm tone throughout the entire conversation. I'll spare you the drawn out trickle truth. It took 10 minutes to get the full story. There wasn't much to it:

After our long weekend of sex, while texting me all day and night Monday, she had also messaged a friend to buy $20 worth of weed. They smoked a bowl and had sex. The end.

I've met this guy. Hell, I've bought weed from him too. He's the stereotypical loser pothead. Nice enough guy, but he's pudgy, and has no ambition. An out of shape nobody with a dead-end job. But she was horny and he was there. Her pussy was raw and swollen. She wanted dick. He had dick.

"I don't even like him!" she protested. "It didn't mean anything. I wanted you, but you weren't there!"

I told her we were done. She was a free woman and could do what she liked, but I wasn't going to see her again. She cried and begged forgiveness. I calmly said good night and hung up.

She called me back, I didn't answer. She texted me, begging to talk. I blocked her number. Removed her from Facebook. Deleted her from my phone. Two days later, a mutual friend (more hers than mine) asked what happened. I simply told her we parted amicably. We had moved on.

It's been two weeks now with no further contact. There's very little overlap in our social circles. We're both career-minded professionals. I don't expect any stupidity.

Some of you may be wondering why I chose to fuck her that final time. Mere minutes after removing the cum stained sheet from a bed where she had fucked some other guy maybe 20 hours prior. Why didn't I lose my shit and call her a whore? Don't I have any masculine pride? Sure. But I just didn't care. In the time it took me to take a piss, I had already written her off. This was one final bang with an ex. She just didn't know she was my "ex" yet.

Lessons learned: Nothing I didn't already know. Pure TRP fundamentals.

Good sex is not enough to make a woman faithful. They have free and unlimited access to dick. If she wants it, she can get it. She was horny for me, but I wasn't there.

I gave her commitment and emotional validation as well. It still wasn't enough. She's an older woman (33) with many past sexual partners. While she may have loved the way I made her feel, sexually and emotionally, both have far less value with experienced woman. The more partners a woman has had, the weaker the pair bonding. Even my best was not enough to maintain her loyalty.

Did you notice the unspoken implication? It was my fault she cheated. She wanted me, but I wasn't there. Clearly, I screwed up by not being available to bang her a fourth day in a row... ;) It is never their fault.

When you break up with a girl, do it calmly and without emotion. Don't make a scene. Don't give her drama as a parting gift. They crave that emotional climax. A big finale. Don't sacrifice your frame/dignity just so she can have her closure.

Know what you want. I was not in love. I was never looking for a LTR. I don't have time to spin plates, so I prefer short-term relationships. All I ever wanted was 6 months of companionship and good sex. I'm not going to cry because I only got 5. She was my spring fling, nothing more. Spring is over and she is gone. Time to find her replacement.

Some women hit the Wall softly. Even at 33, she's still fit and attractive. She'll find another guy. Probably quicker than I'll find the next girl. Doesn't matter, it isn't a competition. Maybe she'll land a BB husband. Or maybe she'll end up alone with her cat. I don't care either way. This is the way of the world. No point getting upset. It is what it is.


[–][deleted]  (22 children)

[deleted]

[–]SexistFlyingPig 72 points73 points  (2 children)

It's not anger, but it's disappointment. That's a lot better than anger.

[–]krakosia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there has to be a stage past disappointment since this is really expected behavior, an inevitability.

[–]1Ronin11A 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Agreed. It's refreshing. The bitter-phase "ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES" vitriol grows tiresome.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (13 children)

    I think he should have still just used her for sex and then let go after finding a replacement.

    [–]Senior ContributorRedPope[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I'm not cut out for branch swinging. I don't think most men are. Better to have that clean break.

    [–]ballotechnic 11 points12 points  (11 children)

    But she seemed to have sex rather indiscriminately so would it be worth the risk?

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (10 children)

    Whats the difference between that and an escort? Which tons of men use. Every woman is a risk. Whats the alternative? No sex? Only "virgins"? No matter how sane and normal she seems you have no idea whats happening when you arent around. And any woman has access to unlimited sexual options. Theres no guaranteed way to mitigate sexual risks. Other than not having any.

    [–]ballotechnic 6 points7 points  (9 children)

    Some folks don't use escorts,no judgment against those who do, but you go into it knowing what risks you're taking. Sure, you can't be 100% sure but there are plenty of monogamous sexual relationships out there were you won't have as great a risk. It's certainly less of a risk than a woman whose so horny she'll blow off her boyfriend's trust just for a quickie. Not to mention have so little regard for him that she doesn't even bother to clean up the evidence in a timely manner.

    [–]redpillsoldato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This. I always take note of how the older posters have a better sense of stoicism. It lets me know that despite it being fucked up, these type of things are frequent enough to be seen as natural, and nothing to lose your balls over.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorVarrian 220 points221 points  (13 children)

    This is how it should be done: ice fucking cold.

    What most men don't realize is that the more you throw your toys out the box the more value you lose in her eyes. This makes it easier for her to rationalize that you were shitty all along and that she deserves better.

    Well played, bro, well played.

    [–]2IVIaskerade 173 points174 points  (4 children)

    Playing it icy is also more likely to make her flip her shit, discrediting her in the eyes of your friendship groups and undermining her attempts to sabotage your relationships with them.

    Like a climber facing a smooth, sheer, face, a woman seeks to make her own handholds by chipping into the hard exterior. If she can't do this, she can't climb.

    Women know emotion. Women can deal with emotion. They can't deal with a complete lack of it.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorScholarInRed 69 points70 points  (1 child)

    Like a climber facing a smooth, sheer, face, a woman seeks to make her own handholds by chipping into the hard exterior. If she can't do this, she can't climb.

    I'm stealing this analogy. Please accept an upvote as payment.

    [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Like a climber facing a smooth, sheer, face, a woman seeks to make her own handholds by chipping into the hard exterior. If she can't do this, she can't climb.

    We often have analogies for frame, but not on how people attack it. People, especially women will try to sabotage your frame enough so they can get their claws in and switch it back on to themselves. You must be solid as a rock at all times so people cant get a grip on it.

    Excellent

    [–]__ZEAL__ 32 points33 points  (5 children)

    "What's cooler than being cool? ICE COLD"

    Man I haven't heard that song in a while. It's oddly relevant as well. Regardless I find it hilarious that one of my favourite songs from growing up is so Red Pill.

    [–]Ripsaw1990 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw Had to listen to it, found something that I missed before. He says,"You think you've you got it, oh you think you've got it but 'got it' just don't get it til there's nothing at all". Your girl is not a special snowflake, AWALT.

    [–]29-M-LA 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I think its one of the greatest written songs. Here's a good analysis of it

    https://borismakesart.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/analysis-of-outkasts-hey-ya-one-of-500-best-songs-of-all-time/

    Tldr: love isn't really what we were taught it was.. but you don't care cause you're gonna keep dancing either way.

    [–]Ripsaw1990 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thank you, was good read. Best Tldr I've ever seen, so poetic and insightful especially if I'm right that you mean 'dancing' to have a double meaning for fucking like in other pop songs ;)

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I don't even think OP was Ice Cold, he was the same temperature the whole way through. He literally had a moment while he was taking a piss, then no longer gave a fuck.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorScholarInRed 377 points378 points  (28 children)

    Some of you may be wondering why I chose to fuck her that final time. Mere minutes after removing the cum stained sheet from a bed where she had fucked some other guy maybe 20 hours prior. Why didn't I lose my shit and call her a whore? Don't I have any masculine pride? Sure. But I just didn't care. In the time it took me to take a piss, I had already written her off. This was one final bang with an ex. She just didn't know she was my "ex" yet.

    This here is a man who has utterly mastered abundance mentality. Newcomers take note.

    This is the most solid FR I've seen in quite a while.

    [–][deleted] 169 points170 points  (6 children)

    Alpha...goes ahead and takes the sex as planned. Decides to not waste more of his precious time on this one slut.

    Beta.....has no sex, throws tantrum "how could you do this to MEEE? And then gets trickled truth into forgiving her

    [–]BlackHeart89 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    Beta.....has no sex, throws tantrum "how could you do this to MEEE? And then gets trickled truth into forgiving her

    Yeah man. Even while reading this, I don't think I would have been able to write her off so easily. Then again, I wouldn't recognize a cum stain on a bed if I saw it unless it was still some white in it. But if I was sure it was cum, I would have had the same resolve.

    [–]billsmashole 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    The stain in an odd spot that looks fresh and she's really anxious to change the sheets. All the evidence you need.

    [–]BlackHeart89 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    True. Not to mention she started trying to explain the stain without directly mentioning it or OP even bringing it to her attention.

    [–]1KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    she started trying to explain the stain

    She wasn't trying to explain the stain, in fact, she wanted to avoid drawing attention to it at all - that's why she made up the (obviously false) story of her cat shedding. She wanted to remove the evidence as quickly as possible.

    [–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ohhh ok. I took it as her trying to indirectly explain it before you could ask. To me, her method brought more attention to it.

    [–]lugubriusTRP 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    it's kinda obvious, like a liquid spillage that never disappears even when not wet.

    [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 71 points72 points  (0 children)

    This really drives at the heart of abundance mentality is not about the number of plates you're spinning ... it is about your mindset toward each individual plate.

    Doesn't matter if you are spinning 1 plate or a hundred. Same mindset.

    [–]1xwm 48 points49 points  (2 children)

    Hell. Old comers take note. This is poetry.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    "Some women hit the Wall softly. Even at 33, she's still fit and attractive. She'll find another guy. Probably quicker than I'll find the next girl. Doesn't matter, it isn't a competition. Maybe she'll land a BB husband. Or maybe she'll end up alone with her cat. I don't care either way. This is the way of the world. No point getting upset. It is what it is."

    This is the part that needs to be highlighted and saved. Let go. Stop getting so worked up over shit women do. Women have the freedom of choice and it's not going anywhere. They've been unleashed from their metaphorical cages and they're never going back. Stop hoping and praying for some magical change. This is who women have and will always be deep down.

    Protect yourself. Get the prenup. Wear a condom. Always improve. Never get fat. Never stop aiming for better. Everything else, women especially, are out of your control.

    [–]1ThumpNuts 30 points31 points  (8 children)

    This is even beyond me. I give "mad props" to OP for being this cool.

    I could not resist the urge to end it on the spot and scold her for it. Not that I would lose my cool and whine or flip my shit. I would be brutally cold about it... robotic. It would be completely ego driven and I can't even tell you why. In the end it serves no purpose and I would have turned down an opportunity to get laid.

    OP is a better man than I am.

    [–]Kiwikeeper 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    This is why I love being a part of this subreddit. There are people who are not afraid to admit that They lack in something. Because if you are on the path of improvement, What you lack is simply What you don't have yet.

    [–]yumyumgivemesome 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    I very likely would have reacted the same as you. In fact, I have. Fortunately, I have also used a similar situation to practice my videotaping skills so I have some lasting memories of the good times.

    [–]TomSachs 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    "I have to return some video tapes"

    [–]Iupvoteforknowledge 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Ahh tip of my tongue, what is this from?

    [–]Anon_216 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    American Psycho. His alibi for everything.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It's because in your lizard brain you've recognized when another man has been sowing his wild oats in your field. You don't want to reap what another man has sown so biologically when you find a woman has been cheating on you your first instinct is to dump them.

    [–]yumyumgivemesome 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    Having abundance mentality when he is too busy to spin plates requires zen-like mastery. I've been spinning for well over a year, and my stomach still hurts when I lose one on her circumstances rather than mine. Reminds me I still have a long way to go.

    [–]FrameWalker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am embarrassed about how butt hurt I had been in the past. It's a lot easier to accept and let go after 1) having increasingly hotter plates and 2) being with some next level sluts. Seeing how many cocks girls ride is a boner killer. I had a Ons with a cc super trooper and it's made it very hard to become attached. I know the potential for girls to hop decks. I've seen it and felt it.

    There are many paths to abundance. The key is to value yourself over any and all pussy to the deepest level. You get there by increasing your sense of self value, decreasing the scarcity of pussy and decreasing the value of any given pussy.

    [–]redsuedeshoes25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    It's a beautiful thing when you're able to remove all emotion from a situation such as this and do what you know needs to be done without a second thought. Hard to get over on a man with this level of abundance mentality!

    [–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 128 points129 points  (26 children)

    Back in University I had this friend Tim. Anyway his older brother told him about a sketch ass Russian Dating site called Znakomstva.Ru. This is 2009 way before online dating is popular.

    So 19 year old Tim finds a 40 year old woman on the site. She invites him over to her beach side mansion. Opens the door naked and drunk. Fucks him and makes him leave before her husband gets home.

    Two days later Tim is showing me pixilated vagina pictures on his flip phone at the university dining hall. That was the beginning of my Red Pill awakening. Older women are no more respectable than younger women.

    [–][deleted]  (18 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (11 children)

      Both my current and previous girlfriend were virgins when I met them due to their religious upbringing. 19 and 22, I'm 30. Combined, that's 1 year of dating and fucking someone who has never had sex with anyone else. The pair bond is strong and I'm not looking forward to going back to normal modern women after this relationship ends.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        They end, bro. I'm also in LTR who was a 19 yo virgin when we met 3 years ago. No way she won't want another dick sooner or later. Also it's not like I would mind a 19 yo again.

        [–]The_Americano 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Knowing that your relationships is going to end is a great way to go about life. Abundance mentality at its best.

        [–]zombig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'm not looking forward to going back to normal modern women after this relationship ends.

        I'm in the same boat, there is such a huge difference between zero and one. I can't even wrap my head around how can one LTR a non-virgin girl.

        [–]Jigsus 0 points1 point  (5 children)

        LTR potential has had a good upbringing and had a low partner count

        What do you consider a low partner count?

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted]  (5 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 28 points29 points  (0 children)

            Dude my friend Tim was a scavenger. We used to call him Tim the Racoon because he did not give a fuck.

            [–]1kingofpoplives 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            Meanwhile, in the real world, your friend fucked a 40 year old and had a good time.

            Plenty of women stay attractive and very fuckable well past 30...but a lot of them fall off a cliff as well.

            The wall is extremely variable, just like some men look as good as ever at 40, while others are fat and balding.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Much of the whole wall thing oozes with beta jealousy. Wall or not, many women can pull prime college guys until they are 50 probably. Whenever they want. Thats winning no matter what they are. Mr top tier RP poster child would be lucky to do half as well. And thats reality.

            [–]uns7able 241 points242 points  (3 children)

            She'll find another guy. Probably quicker than I'll find the next girl. Doesn't matter, it isn't a competition. Maybe she'll land a BB husband. Or maybe she'll end up alone with her cat. I don't care either way. This is the way of the world. No point getting upset. It is what it is.

            Insanely well put. Gave me jitters.

            [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

            Looks like women can play the field better than men without getting attached

            [–]longerdistance 29 points30 points  (0 children)

            Rollo has an article on this:

            War Brides

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Of course they can. When it comes to getting what they want, most women are emotionless. Its just business. While most men are all emotional, blubbering about all kinds of horse shit fantasy. Thats part of the problem. Women are more alpha then most men. But they play a carefully crafted public role, their most closely guarded secret.

            [–]AnotherLostCause 175 points176 points  (35 children)

            Watch out for the "I think I"m pregnant we neeeeed to talk."

            [–]Senior ContributorRedPope[S] 187 points188 points  (12 children)

            Valid concern, but... I already had my kids. Got a vasectomy years ago. Results verified by the urologist. She's known since the first date. It was never a secret. Some of her coworkers and family know as well.

            [–]GIFtoGasm 72 points73 points  (1 child)

            Just so this doesn't get buried. This is an incredible post with so many excellent points. These are the stories I come here for. Desensitize any situation that can affect me in the future. Good frame bruh. You'll do just fine out there.

            [–]tripwire1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            Good frame bruh. You'll do just fine out there.

            The incredible thing about this is that his frame is so solid your words of encouragement aren't really even necessary. OP knows he's gonna do just fine out there before any of us even tell him. I respect the hell out of that.

            [–]jimmamlvn 9 points10 points  (20 children)

            Sorry to hijack top comment, but my question is what did OP do wrong? was this out of his control? I mean, from what i read, op was satisfying his ex but she still cheated on him for a lower SMV dude

            [–]Chinny4daWinny 57 points58 points  (0 children)

            Lessons learned:

            Good sex is not enough to make a woman faithful. They have free and unlimited access to dick. If she wants it, she can get it. She was horny for me, but I wasn't there.

            I gave her commitment and emotional validation as well. It still wasn't enough.

            Nothing. These hoes ain't loyal.

            [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

            There are very few things that are guaranteed in life. Bitches being loyal if you do everything according to RP principles is not one of those things.

            Whether OP did or didn't do something wrong is not something that can be determined with any kind of confidence. Maybe OP did everything right and this outcome was the best of all possible outcomes. Who knows. What is important is how he deals with what happens.

            [–]the_code_always_wins 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            There is a misconception that if you apply red pill well, any women will remain loyal. That's not true. TRP will work on a girl with the right mindset, but no nobody can turn a hoe into a housewife.

            [–]1kingofpoplives 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Sorry to hijack top comment, but my question is what did OP do wrong?

            He gave his commitment and dropped all other plates when he shouldn't have.

            [–]Deresetese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            He said he doesn't have time for plates. I wouldn't consider doing what you want a mistake

            [–]teeelo 64 points65 points  (1 child)

            Sometimes I can't believe this kind of information is free on the Internet. What a time to be alive.

            [–]the10thrider 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            If it's one thing I've learned from going to elementary school in the 90's it's how to search for anything I want on The InternetTM

            IMO they probably did too good of a job there, really.

            [–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (15 children)

            "I don't even like him!" she protested. "It didn't mean anything. I wanted you, but you weren't there!"

            Why does she say that? It makes things ten times worse for her.

            Good riddance OP, you did well.

            [–]2IVIaskerade 56 points57 points  (4 children)

            She says it because she doesn't see things from your perspective. If you had cheated on her, there not being an emotional connection would make her less unhappy, so she assumes the same applies to you.

            [–]1NV0K3R 26 points27 points  (1 child)

            I can verify this.

            Source: Used it on an LTR.

            [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 14 points15 points  (1 child)

            No logic, just frantic hamstering the way a child tries to deflect blame. They'll say anything their emotions cook up to absolve themselves.

            [–]TRP VanguardtrpSenator 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            Yeah, that's literally the worst excuse you could ever give. "Oh, okay. So then I need to worry about every time you get horny and I'm not around because you'll fuck another dude?"

            [–]BlackHeart89 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            RIGHT?!

            Whenever I hear that, I think, "Sooo... you don't even have to like the motherfucker in order suck his dick? And thats suppose to make a guy trust you again???"

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            All sex is transactional to women. If she got whatever the return she wanted from it, then thats all that matters. Tying sex/ love together as men buy into in the west is a losers game. Women sure dont do it. Not in reality.

            [–]1aguy01 5 points6 points  (2 children)

            I remember when a girl fucked this dude she just met at a party and tried justifying it by saying "It didn't mean anything.. I didn't even know his first name!"

            [–]mechdemon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Now that is worth a hearty belly laugh as you walk out the door.

            [–]krakosia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            little thing known as solipsism.

            [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

            she's going to fuck her problems away, validation is better than prozac... for a while...

            [–]torchbearer101 41 points42 points  (0 children)

            Solid Post, thank you for sharing. Hope you used a rubber for that last romp!

            "But I just didn't care. In the time it took me to take a piss, I had already written her off."

            [–]Code_Bordeauxx 49 points50 points  (26 children)

            The great dilemma is this: the more exciting and lively a girl is, the more likely she is to cheat on you. This girl in particular has a crazy sex drive and smokes pot. It was obvious that this was not going to last. That is perfectly fine though, plenty more wild rides out there. If you want lasting monogamy, better find a relatively shy one. Intensity versus endurance is the tradeoff.

            [–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (24 children)

            If you want lasting monogamy, better find a relatively shy one.

            There is no such thing, unless you are planning on keeping her ass locked in a dungeon. She isn't yours. It is just your turn.

            [–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (13 children)

            She isn't yours. It is just your turn.

            This quote cannot be repeated enough.

            [–]Matharon 15 points16 points  (5 children)

            The more I read this line, the more I believe things are better that way. Why would you want to own something like a broke-ass woman? Ownership is just a burden in that scenario.

            [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

            The line has so many valid interpretations.

            1) "Bitches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks". Have fun, but don't center your life around them.

            2) There is nothing in life we can hold on to. Enjoy pleasure while it's present, but don't try to hold on to it. Possible buddhist interpretation.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            If emotional dependence is avoided, and STDs are contained, theres no real upside to owning a woman.

            [–]Code_Bordeauxx 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            Yes, but please do interpret it as a beneficial philosophy, and not as the literal truth. The quote helps in developing a mindset that protects you from heavy disappointment when good things come to an end. But it goes too far to interpret it as 'no relationship can possibly last a lifetime'. Because look around you, of course it can. Hell, as much as 90% of the marriages which start with the girl being a virgin last, don't they? (do NOT marry, that is not what I mean). That is the part KungPaoEllenTheFist doesn't understand. Mindset. Not literal truth.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

            Your pie in the sky marriage stats are useless. The only relationships in that stat that matter for your undying love of lifelong monogamy, are the ones that actually lasted decades, i.e. old farts. Well newsflash genius, old farts were raised when slut shaming and masculinity weren't evil. It takes more than good game to reliably keep hypergamy in check. Those days are long gone.

            The rest of the relationships in your stats are too new to be called "life long". Hypergamy never ends. Sloots still got time to sloot.

            You called me a pessimist a while back. You were mistaken. I am simply a realist. You just see me as being negative because you flew past optimism and ended up at naive.

            Edit: and speaking of naive, just where the fuck do you think you are going to find yourself a virgin these days? You going to turn Amish? Start pimping in elementary schools? Buy one on ebay? I'm dying to know how this works into your plan to find your so-called exceptional woman.

            [–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            The truth is pretty painful. But I can't help but prepare for it. It may be a self-fulfilling prediction or whatever, but at least I won't be caught off guard. To me, its a reasonable trade off.

            If you give a bitch an inch, she'll take the whole damn house and everything in it.

            [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (13 children)

            Damm. Interesting story, thanks OP. Crazy how impossible it would have been to tell, without the cum stain. It all seemed pretty good to me until you got to that part. You really can't trust sluts for even a day. Stick to very low N count women or don't take the risk at all.

            [–]Senior ContributorRedPope[S] 94 points95 points  (11 children)

            Stick to very low N count women or don't take the risk at all.

            Both those options suck. I'm too old to date girls in their early 20s. They annoy me. Every attractive post-college aged girl has a high N count. Without exception.

            So I choose option #3. Accept the risk, know the consequences, and enjoy the ride. It may not last, but the next rider is always just around the bend.

            [–]strps 22 points23 points  (0 children)

            The fact that you found a stain there leads me to believe it was unprotected as well...just disgusting, but perhaps it's par for the course as they say.

            I'm a similar age, un-divorced (never married) dad. Just had something similar happen to me as well. I responded in a very similar manner as well. Good on you. Never give them the hysteria they crave, it only reinforces it.

            [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            So I choose option #3. Accept the risk, know the consequences, and enjoy the ride. It may not last, but the next rider is always just around the bend.

            And this is the world that modern social attitudes have earned us. Tragic, isn't it?

            It's amazing that all it takes to topple an entire civilization are "the wrong attitudes about gender" compounded over several decades.

            Living for the sake of our own happiness is all we can do now.

            [–]1ThumpNuts 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            EXACTLY!

            People are so quick to forget AWALT. This chick with a high N count cheated with a raw cunt. A younger girl with a low N count could have cheated next weekend when she felt more neglected. Both would blame you for not being there.

            So I choose option #3. Accept the risk, know the consequences, and enjoy the ride. It may not last, but the next rider is always just around the bend.

            Amen! Preach on.

            [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            There really isn't any such thing as being so alpha that a woman won't leave you. Just not how hypergamy works. Hell, obtaining you intrinsically lowers your SMV relative to a man she has yet to fuck (and obtain his seed).

            Good FR, OP. Great perspective on how to position yourself emotionally with regards to LTR's.

            [–]Kyuzo_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Hypergamy doesn't care how alpha you were yesterday... If you're not there today.

            [–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            No amount of pussy is worth losing Frame over:

            http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

            [–]2IVIaskerade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Coincidentally, losing frame leads to no amount of pussy.

            [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            Great FR

            She probably doesn't even think she did anything wrong. She just wanted some weed and attention and traded sex for it.

            In her mind, "it doesn't count" and OP is an "asshole"

            [–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 14 points15 points  (0 children)

            I like this part...

            messaged a friend to buy $20 worth of weed. They smoked a bowl and had sex.

            The sex was probably in lieu of payment... And now OP knows the real price of that pussy.

            [–]YXxStrykerxXY 11 points12 points  (17 children)

            Inspirational to say the least. Women are in a sense heartless, but we have to show them we are unmoved by the fact. That in itself speaks more than any words, drama, or action. Shows them the type of man you are. Good work OP. Keep up the good work.

            [–][deleted]  (16 children)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

              Most of us when we get into to our 40s - especially us that have been through the divorce wringer with kids and all that shit - aren't prone to the heartbreak crater like our younger selves were.

              We know that women are depraved - fucking selfish and manipulative. Nothing surprises us. We also know that if we have resources and physical fitness then we'll always have options.

              When shit like this happens we shrug and say "Oh fucking well..." Now you know why the woman was single - hot, professionally successful, likes to fuck... You'd think that's decent wife material on the surface... But if she refuses to get off the cock carousel what can you do? Not that OP was looking to wife the bitch, but hey mystery solved. NEXT!

              We don't sweat dumb shit. If women aren't fucking with our wallets or our kids then what they do is really non-consequential.

              Finding some other dumb sloot to knock the bottom out of is as easy as falling out of bed.

              [–][deleted]  (15 children)

              [deleted]

              [–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 16 points17 points  (1 child)

              she cheated just because

              CC riding develops the hamster, to rationalize away all those hookups. A woman gets to a point she doesn't see it as cheating, at least when she does it. It's "just" sex.

              In terms of character, this story reflects the quality of women these days... Nice packaging, but these hoes ain't loyal.

              [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              Loyalty is a male abstract. Women are incapable of loyalty regardless of their N-count.

              If you think you found a loyal woman, all you have really found is a case of oneitis due to your lack of abundance mentality.

              [–]Senior ContributorRedPope[S] 19 points20 points  (8 children)

              do you honestly think she cheated just because "she wanted dick"? I have a feeling there's more to this than what she's telling you.

              You never truly know the mind of another.

              I could string together an endless list of maybes. Maybe I didn't give her enough commitment. Maybe I gave her too much attention. Maybe she wanted to sabotage the relationship. But I saw no signs of her desiring an exit. If anything, she was being both more affectionate and more sexual.

              Regardless, I believe what I posted is accurate. I had her revved up to 11. Her desires were out of control, I wasn't there to satisfy them, and she chose not to restrain herself.

              [–]1theoctopuss 20 points21 points  (2 children)

              She would have fucked the pot dealer regardless. She's probably been fucking him for the last few months, at least.

              I know how girls work. They create their own little harem of guys with different strengths. Guy 1 has a big dick, Guy 2 is extremely ripped, Guy 3 has an awesome car..."

              See how that works? Most of the girls I plate have 3 or 4 other guys that they fuck. In my eyes, those guys are in the same situation as me. All we're doing is playing pinball with a dirty slut.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [removed]

                [–]TitsAndWhiskey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Was just about to say this. For those of you who are unaware, this is generally how attractive women get drugs. They find a dealer who is willing to barter.

                Don't blame either party for that, honestly.

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                IME the "revved up to 11" can be to compensate for poor behavior. I have a plate doing it right now. She's putting it on thick as a distraction in hope I won't pick up on the fact that she fucked her professor on a recent class trip. Hos gonna ho. Little different when it's someone you're seeing exclusively though. You handled that shit like a pro.

                [–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                But do you honestly think she cheated just because "she wanted dick"? I have a feeling there's more to this than what she's telling you.

                Who cares? That should not be a concern. Once that door is closed on your terms, it is closed. You don't look back; that's just a waste of energy. You look forward.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                  [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                  Damn, It seems we need to tattoo "AWALT" in our forearms.

                  [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (7 children)

                  Maybe I'm too cynical but I believe that whenever a ltr occurs cheating occurs. I know this is a huge generalisation, but I believe that loyalty really cannot be expected from human beings in general, not just women. Reason being that all of us have a cheater inside of us. 'Out of character' is a great book that explains how nobody is really a cheater or a loyal partner; we are constantly shifting on the scales, moving from loyal to cheating to loyal... There are no real 'cheaters', just as there are no people who are always 'loyal'. We exist within a spectrum and move constantly from one side to the other.

                  [–]Danedina 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                  We all have moments of weakness. The difference between a cheater and someone who is faithful is avoiding putting yourself in the position to cheat. My ex-gf would trickle truth me about dates she would go on, and there'd always be a part where more people were supposed to show up but it then it was just me and him. Naturally, nothing ever happened between her and these guys... I should have nexted her then, but the red pill hadn't reached my bloodstream yet.

                  [–]TitsAndWhiskey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  These girls think we're stupid. That's the part that gets me. Sure, sweetheart. I'm sure the 3rd guy you've introduced to me this week as your "friend" has that little twinkle in his eye for some other reason than what I'm thinking.

                  It got to the point with my most recent ex where I would play dumb and squeeze the trickle truth out of her drop by drop just to watch her squirm.

                  I was never wrong. Trust your gut, fellas.

                  [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  The term is "opportunist." Given the chance, with no repercussion, everyone of us would stray given the right temptress. It's just nature.

                  [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  There is some truth to this. Biologically we are not monogamous beings. Both male and female sexual strategy involves mating with more than one partner. It just so happens that the optimal strategy for females is obtaining mates spaced out a little further apart.

                  The only things keeping humans from acting on their base instincts is cultural override. That's why we say to find traditional or religious girls. Short of mental reprogramming, all women will have the urge to chase new dick, eventually.

                  [–]Dr_HoaxArthurWilmoth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Take notes kids. Aspire to have the frame of this man. "Drama" will only waste your time as well as petty revenge on someone no longer worth your time.

                  This reminds me of all the time I wasted in my teens and early 20's trying to "get back" at an ex and being angry about someone who would never be part of my life again.

                  [–]Late30sMasculist 12 points13 points  (13 children)

                  I spent a wonderful three day weekend with my girlfriend of five months. We've been monogamous since March.

                  Know what you want. I was not in love. I was never looking for a LTR. I don't have time to spin plates, so I prefer short-term relationships.

                  Those 2 quotes seem contradictory to me. I'm curious about why you would get into a monogamous relationship in the first place. Was it your idea or hers?

                  If hers, why did you agree to it? What did you get out of it?

                  If you're after what amounts to a friends with benefits relationship, why limit yourself through monogamy?

                  I'm not criticizing, just trying to understand your motivation.

                  [–]Senior ContributorRedPope[S] 82 points83 points  (11 children)

                  I don't mind the questions.

                  Why monogamy? Time, reputation, and stability. I'm a dad with a busy career. I simply don't have time to spin multiple plates. I'm also a bit older, with a big family, and fairly active in the community. Dealing with one woman at a time, I can screen them more carefully and eventually let them meet my kids, family, and community. No one looks twice if you have a couple girlfriends a year. It is considered healthy and normal.

                  Personally, I like relationships. More specifically, I like the first 6-12 months of a relationship. I'm sure most of us would agree, those early months are the best part of a relationship. The most exciting, the most fun, and the most sex. So that is my target goal: short-term monogamous relationships.

                  What I find amusing... I'm basically taking pages straight out of the women's playbook. College bimbo years excluded, women don't flaunt their casual hookups. Those are kept anonymous and hidden. Marriage is only sought once they decide they're ready for it. So what do they do until then? Exactly the same as me: 1-2 steady relationships per year.

                  I stopped looking for THE girl. I'm looking for this year's girl. If she proves disloyal, or if the attraction fades, I simply move on and start hunting for the next.

                  [–]TitsAndWhiskey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  I'm in a very similar position, and I use this strategy as well. I've found that as an added benefit, the few exes that have met the kids are a valuable resource. I have one that is essentially on call for child care and sex.

                  [–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  I read a post you made on this strategy many moons back and I've since adopted it as my own, as I had a vague inclination this is what I wanted but I couldnt articulate the way you have here.

                  Thanks for the serial STR tip, it really is a page out of their book. It works great for me too.

                  [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  Not OP, but I can give some perspective.

                  There's a bit of emptiness with seeing women perpetually outside of your internal emotional investment. I straight up got bored with inviting plates over after fucking them a few times. A lot of them are really insipid and basic, no real value outside of their bodies. The work involved in setting up new ones didn't seem as enticing as other, non-relationship related activities. It was like pigging out on ice cream. After a while, new flavours just don't really do much for you.

                  Even without developing oneitis you get a type of companionship in the initial stages of an LTR that you don't get with plates you're keeping just out of arm's reach. In my case I happened to run into a girl with exceptional LTR qualities. If you know what to look for, you'd know they're exceptionally rare. 1 in 10,000, easily. There are no unicorns, but there's a top 20% for women too.

                  Not to say that this couldn't all end tomorrow, and if it did I'd deal with it and eventually start over again. Would still prefer LTR's to plate-spinning at this stage of my life.

                  [–]Apanthropos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                  This a great post and a good example to anyone that believes they can make a woman loyal through good sex.

                  [–]Ochreata 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  Gotta love this comment;

                  "I don't even like him!" she protested.

                  Basically translates as; "I fuck guys I'm not attracted to when I'm horny, I'm a slut!"

                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  To me, translates to "I really like him, but he's not a trophy!"

                  [–]crotchetyMFer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                  Thank you for this excellent FR. Reminds me of an ex I dated for two years. We were having sex 5-6 days per week, but during those 1-2 days apart she was sleeping with someone else. When you're seeing someone that often imagining them cheating is usually the furthest thing from mind. I wish I would have found some dirty sheets...

                  One question though:

                  Two days later, a mutual friend (more hers than mine) asked what happened. I simply told her we parted amicably. We had moved on.

                  I understand wanting to wash your hands of it all and be done with it, but why lie here? I would have said exactly what happened without any embellishment, "she slept with X a few days ago so I ended it."

                  [–]2IVIaskerade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  why lie here

                  If you do not want your enemy to fight as hard as they can, you must leave them an escape route. So too with social situations.

                  A woman with an incentive (loss of social status) to sabotage you is dangerous. The lie costs nothing, and results in a better outcome for all.

                  [–]Praecipuus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  She was my spring fling, nothing more. Spring is over and she is gone. Time to find her replacement.

                  Time to look forward to Summer.

                  [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                  [removed]

                  [–]2IVIaskerade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Yes, we do. They're not the endorsed contributors posting field reports.

                  There's under 100 ECs. There's 115,000+ plebs. Of course the cream of the crop are going to be fit and handsome.

                  [–]rpscrote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  fat is a temporary state at best to a sufficently motivated man

                  [–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                  The rich get richer, the poor stay the same.

                  The sexually active get more active, the inactive stay the same.

                  The woman that gets a tremendous amount of stimulation then needs that level sustained or she goes into withdrawl symptoms.

                  So it is a paradox that the more sexually stimulated a women gets the more likely they can't help but cheat to get another fix.

                  I have no answer for it... Dread Game seems the closest thing to an answer.

                  Fear is about the only way to limit hypergamy.

                  On the positive side women can be extremely fearful because their hamster minds will blow up the fears into grand proportions. So a culture that infused fear into women were more likely to have women stay loyal. It makes the concept of the "fear of god" make sense. (long gone)

                  In todays culture which lacks fear and promotes the joys of infidelity there is little chance to prevent hypergamy.

                  AWALT and today it's not even a secret.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekhov's_gun

                  By always improving, you induce that fear. Overt fear mongering only weakens your position & invites her to undermine you with the insecurity argument. Chekhov & Raymond Carver were some of my favorite authors in high school, I realized why a few years later.

                  [–]The_Americano 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                  Gents, witness here the birth of an Alpha Widow!

                  [–]trowawayyada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  She was AW'd years ago, most are by 25......possibly younger than that.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                  [–]chadchadington 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Solid my brotha. Definition of stoic.

                  There's a reason that psych statistic exists claiming after a few dozen partners pair bonding becomes difficult. No wonder the CC is the bane for most men with respect to women. You can have fun but avoid LTRs with these women.

                  [–]davipbl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Wow, I am not an alpha yet, but that is the way I would have done if I were at your position. I liked the seriousness and ethical involvement you had with her. Way to go, RedPope. Someday I'll manage to control my life in the way you seem to control yours.

                  [–]krakosia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Standing applause worthy performance Sir.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  What fucks me up man, is that imagine if you didnt ever find that stain? You stay with that women, still thinking everything is going good and both are happy, but you dont know she cheated. Thats what fucks my head so much about women. You can waste so much time

                  [–]IronMeltsinmyHands 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                  I noticed what she said. The way they write off blame, it should be an art form.

                  I don't know why, I'm still in the anger phase.

                  [–]Keninishna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  I wonder what her subconcious was getting into, its like a robot script..

                  Ego activate... scan area for discreet sex... text drug dealer 20$ come over... get high and horny.... bang.... leave cum on sheets... invite bf over and act nervous and use bathroom so he would have to use one upstairs... he finds cum... breakup!

                  I wonder, OP did you verbally agree with her that it was a monogamous relationship? or was it implied?

                  [–]kempff 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  When I come out, she's pulling the sheets off the bed. Very nonchalantly, she says, "The cat was on the bed, let me change the sheets. She's shedding like crazy."

                  Yep. When someone feels compelled to give an explanation for something that normally requires none, it's meant to conceal something.

                  [–]DoItLive247 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  I don't expect any stupidity.

                  Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

                  [–]AFSundevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  She'll find another guy. Probably quicker than I'll find the next girl. Doesn't matter, it isn't a competition. Maybe she'll land a BB husband. Or maybe she'll end up alone with her cat. I don't care either way. This is the way of the world. No point getting upset.

                  I usually don't feel the need to post on here but that's a very solid outlook that more people can benefit from. From a young RPer to a veteran: good on you for being grounded. I hope to develop those qualities as well.

                  [–]prodigy2throw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

                  [–]asianmasaccount 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Just wanted to say I really liked this post. Sounds like the writing of a grown-ass man.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Lessons learned :

                  • women can't be faithful

                  • monogamy does not work

                  [–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                  If you're dating a woman, you're in an open relationship.

                  Reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my best friends back in NYC--guy's a well-known, extremely successful trial lawyer, lives in a beautiful $7K / month loft downtown, has his own practice (specializing in divorce, of course), man’s highly-educated, worldly, been around the block a few times, etc etc. So we're catching up, we get on the topic of women somehow, and at one point, he says something like: “You know, I’m beginning to think this is how it works: when you're together, you treat her like a Queen, like she's the only person in the universe, and that's that... But when you're NOT together, you do what you want, she does what she wants—really, I think that's the only possible way it can actually work…”

                  I remember, at the time, several years back (pre-Red Pill) how shocked I was, when this guy just laid it all out for me like that--it just seemed so cold, and bare... So “not romantic”, so very "un-Fairy-Tale-esque"... Now that I've been around the block a few times myself (and happened upon you fine people here in the Red Pill about a year and a half ago), honestly, looking back at that one talk, I think this guy might have unwittingly stumbled upon the very future of relationships, right there…

                  Enjoy ‘em when you’re with ‘em, assume they’re seeing other people when you’re not. Only way to go. (Bonus side effect: you’ll never be cheated on again—you can’t “lose fidelity” if it was never a part of the equation in the first place).

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  All relationships are open relationships, and all sex is transactional. Most men just dont know it yet. Thus why should any man agree to monogamy? It just lowers your SMV, and you gain no guarantee from it.

                  [–]peanutbutter4all 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Great post. Not entirely unexpected and further strengthens the necessity of a RP mindset.

                  [–]Kite23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Outstanding, you are a pro

                  [–]1R_Model_07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  If it's too good to be true it probably is. A headstrong woman uses sex like an ATM card. The impulsive ones like to test boundaries. Like a serial killer that leaves too many clues, they seemingly want to be caught, but not really. It's about surfing that fine line.

                  If they talk about sex like someone would talk about sports keep them at arms length. Because the chances are they are bored with traditional relationship roles and like to fuck on the side to keep things interesting.

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