1419
1420
1421

Blue Pill ExampleStill Wanna Get Married? (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardWhisper

From elsewhere on reddit:

Not at all. My wife took our baby when she dyed her hair blue and fell in with a crowd of regs feminists that work with her at Starbucks. She moved back in with her mom, stopped working, and hit me up for child support. They set my CS at the highest earnings I've ever made in my life - a single month during my time owning a janitorial business - , pre tax, 40%. So, that one single month (I had got a contract to clean up a demolished building that paid $4000), I made $6000. Luckily, in Texas, there's a cap at a little over $1000 a month. Problem is, I make $600 every two weeks.

I didn't cheat. I didn't flake. I was supportive, loving, and if I might say so, a good husband. She cheated on me while pregnant with our child, took off while I was at work, no notice, and filed a restraining order which I later found out all lawyers MUST advise their clients of, because it means a MUCH higher rate of achieving custody. That shows up on my background check.

I'm genuinely going to kill myself soon, because I have about two months of savings left with which I can pay my CS, and after that, for each payment missed, it's a court date, with a 180 day jail sentence. Why did all of this happen? So she could find herself. Because she's a strong independent waman who don't need no man. <--- that sentence would have never, ever come out of me before she left.

That's not the half of it, either. I won't bore you with details, but just a few highlights are:

Legal Aid place said their free help for poor people was "more for women".

The state provides free attorneys for women but not men in custody and CS cases.

95% of all custody cases are awarded to women in my state.

This one's the worst of them all, to me: After all of this, I am, in most of society's eyes, a deadbeat dad.

No, this one's the worst: They arbitrated CS from out of state for my wife, so she didn't even have to show up to the court date, but they won't do that for custody. I still haven't even seen my daughter. I learned her name (went from a classic "Julia" to "Aaliahya"..) when the policewoman served me CS papers and treated me like I was trash.

My wife, unemployed, living with mom, gets nothing but help and positivity and support. I'm a monster.

So, that's the story of how I die, apparently.

EDIT: wwell fuck I'm sitting here crying for the first time in.. I don't know.. I can't begin to tell you guys all how much this means to me. I've been living with this huge knot in my chest for close to 2 years and haven't told a soul because I was sure they'd call me weak or not a man or whatever I thought. Just thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, all of you, so much. I promise this to each and every one of you guys: I will document this all. I will make a video detailing all of this, and I'll try to get in contact with some of the people which some of you guys have told me would be interested in the story. I'll plea my case in court before I commit to anything, and like one guy said, maybe jail isn't that bad.

Still wanna get married?

Still wanna bet "your life and everything in it" on the turn of a card in order to win "she gets a ring and a princess party, and you keep the relationship you have now"?

How many more corpses do you need to see?


[–]XLNC- 526 points527 points  (35 children)

That poor, poor man. This was a very expensive lesson he’ll learn from for the rest of his life. Marriage is a rigged game and the only winning move is to not participate.

[–]FlagranteDerelicto 61 points62 points  (14 children)

If he does actually decide that it’s hopeless and commit suicide, he should self immolate on the courthouse steps like those Buddhist monks during the Vietnam war. And detail what led to his end in a letter to the local newspaper.

[–]IvanTheCracka 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Self immolation is pretty fucking painful

[–]SSaturnV 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Fun fact, a veteran did this outside the VA recently.

Did you hear about it?

[–]FlagranteDerelicto 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I haven’t heard anything about this and I read the news constantly.

Kinda proves my point of how corporate media realizes that the entire world economy is based on the American economy and that the system is much more fragile than the public realizes. They’re terrified of these stories depicting symbolic acts by people with nothing left to lose.

A few years ago a man crashed an airplane into a regional IRS office in Texas. His suicide note made it clear that this was intentional. Coverage at the time was minimal and now most people are unaware that it ever happened.

EDIT: Makes you realize that extensive coverage of school shooters including delving into their backgrounds has a purpose. Law enforcement always says that the way to discourage them is to limit the posthumous publicity they receive but the media fixates on it because it moves us closer to eliminating gun rights.

[–]Ieatlinner 7 points8 points  (2 children)

If you really want to get your point across, self immolation seems like a pretty powerful way to do it.

People would think "Jesus, what is he protesting that he literally lit himself on fire?"

But he would't be able to answer.

Instead, I suggest taking a hammer to your own nut. Go in the middle of MSG or in this case the courthouse steps, pull out a nut, and pop it like a paintball. People will listen then.

[–]FlagranteDerelicto 2 points3 points  (1 child)

His answer would be in the letter sent to the local press. A man lighting himself on fire is a powerful symbol of resistance to oppression. That’s what kickstarted the Arab Spring in Tunisia.

Every time an American does it the only coverage is a tiny blurb that never delves into the cause. The media conglomerates ensure minimal coverage because they’re terrified of the power of that symbolic act to inspire action in the masses.

[–]michael_wilkins 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And detail what led to his end in a letter to the local newspaper.

Why? so they could run this headline?

"Toxic Masculinity claims another male life as the patriarchy leaves another helpless Woman and Child alone without support because men are encouraged to repress their emotions"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just for interest sake, but "immolation" doesn't imply setting oneself on fire. Immolation simply means ritual killing or sacrificing and it can be done by any means, not just burning. I am telling you this because I also always thought it meant being lit on fire and burning to death and only found it doesn't a short while ago.

[–]heelek 75 points76 points  (2 children)

I would call it more a not-losing move.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Nobody wins in a society where matrimonial partnerships are impossible, and NO I do not mean the legal entity impersonating marriage as sponsored and promoted by the state.

[–]Broder45 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Serious question, would he be able to leave the country and start over elsewhere? I truly hope he doesn't give up on himself because there can be a way for his life to turn around and I hope it does for him.

I mean.. he could just do the classic coke and hookers in Mexico and maybe he'll see life isn't that bad after all..

https://totalfratmove.com/guy-goes-to-mexico-to-kill-himself-spends-week-doing-coke-and-banging-hookers-decides-to-keep-living/

[–]_penseroso_ 17 points18 points  (0 children)

His only real choice. Leaving behind friends and family is a serious kick in the teeth, but it’s his only real option other than death.

I always tell seriously suicidal people to pick a small bag and leave it all behind, preferably to somewhere warm. Wherever you end up will feel like you died and were reborn.

[–]Millixaw 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Child custody payments can go after unmarried guys as well.

[–]1StinkyDiaper 423 points424 points  (31 children)

I am a businessman, albeit with little experience. I have a proposition for you.

I think you and I should go into business together. This will offer us a few tax breaks, and also make our families happy as they will see us as "official" lifelong business partners. It will also make God happy. We can even post pictures on social media and announce our partnership to everyone we know, and gather great praise from others as a result.


Please be sure, however, to read the fine print!


The ironclad contract you will be signing states that, at any time, I maintain the right to terminate our partnership for any reason, without warning. If, during our years in business, I work very little and earn hardly anything, whereas you work tirelessly and accumulate very large amounts of wealth, you will guarantee me no less than 50% of all of your earnings, to be paid via lump sum.

On top of that, you will also agree to pay to me a monthly sum, the amount to be determined by a lawyer in court who will not have your best interests in mind.

Aforementioned monthly payment, by the way, will last for as long as I live.

Sound good? Fantastic! Dont worry - you and I will last for life. I can feel it. I just know.

We'll set the ceremony date for next year. Oh, and to become partners in the first place, we will need to spend at least $10,000 on the ceremony itself, and a few additional thousand for diamond and gold pins, to be worn on our clothing at all times for as long as we remain partners.

Sign the dotted line, please.

[–]usernamegoeshere17 106 points107 points  (20 children)

Damn, if someone had put it in those terms for me I never would have done it. Marriage ended in divorce in January and I'm fucked almost as bad as the OP.

[–]Voctr 35 points36 points  (14 children)

If your life is ruined like this, can't you just flee from the US? It's not great but sure beats killing yourself.

[–][deleted]  (11 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Your_Coke_Dealer 20 points21 points  (6 children)

    Renouncing citizenship is easy. But it’s highly discouraged and risky because you could very well wind up stateless and with no legal protection. The hard part is becoming a citizen elsewhere.

    [–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Renounce citizenship, go to California, get child supported

    [–]Voctr 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    I'm thinking that in this situation there is no chance and hope to return ever again. Probably best to disappear of the earth completely and start a new life elsewhere. I'm sure it would be difficult but if you have no choice?

    [–]RandyBumgardner85 31 points32 points  (1 child)

    This is a fucking great post. I explain it to people using the analogy of friendship:

    "So we've been mates for a few years now. I think it's time we signed this contract that says we pool all our assets and if we ever stop being mates we split everything 50/50. Also if one of us can't be bothered to work the other must support him for life. Now I know you are a hard worker, have a promising career and have saved a shit ton of money and I'm a useless layabout who couldn't be bothered to find a decent career and spends all his money on shit but we're friends right so that shouldn't matter. If you won't sign this contract I can't accept that you actually like me and I will go find another best friend."

    Only a man with severe learning difficulties would agree to something like this. But swap "friends" for "lovers" and one man for a woman and all off a sudden 90% of men are chomping at the bit.

    The stupidity of humanity knows no bounds.

    [–]Whitified 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    now slap the word 'MARRIAGE' on top and millions of men sign up

    [–]RedPillRobin 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Before I got married I knew this but for some reason I went along to get a long. Now I'm paying my fat ex wife $722 a month and all taxes due on that $722 which rounds out at $1000 a month. This is for a kid I barely see and have to fight to see. They tell me child support and custody are 2 separate issues when I complain. That's what the women who run domestic relations tell me. One time I over paid the bitch $3000 when I asked for credit I was litteraly laughed at. Hell of a deal there.

    [–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    +1

    [–]modTheRedPike 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Done

    [–]epictetus_irl 652 points653 points  (63 children)

    I had three opportunities to get married in my 20s. Three different LTRs putting the pressure on over the course of ten years.

    I declined the opportunity each time which led to the end of the relationship each time.

    Still the best three decisions I’ve ever made.

    Don’t gamble your livelihood and potentially your actual life out of fear of being alone.

    The alternative is worse.

    Ever married male friend I have? “Miserable.” “Trapped. “ “Made a mistake.” “Staying for the kids.”

    One life gentlemen. Don’t fucking waste it.

    [–][deleted] 260 points261 points  (6 children)

    Marriage was a contract in past times. Now it's a fraudulent contract, with responsibilities and duties only on one of the 2 parties.

    Only socio-cultural programming makes men still want/agree to take on it.

    [–]tanlkula 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    Socio-cultural programming is a sole reason for TRP's birth. Its good that more men are aware of the consequences of this blue-precept moms teach their boys.

    [–]Scymnus 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    moms teach their boys

    I had a discussion with my mom and grandma about getting married. Told them to give me one good reason to do it, they said I would get a woman who would cook and clean for me. When I told them women aren't interested in doing those things anymore because they're all strong independent women now, they shut up real fast.

    [–]circedgirlsarecleanr 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    Only socio-cultural programming

    Most don't have enough options. The average guy is likely to feel a strong 'connection' with the first hoe that comes his way.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yeah. Also, he isn't inclined to inform himself about such stuff before he's encountered serious problems and grief. Totally right — and I was the average guy too.

    [–]redd_reality 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Don’t gamble your livelihood and potentially your actual life out of fear of being alone.

    The entire marriage idea stems from a man's inability to realize the obvious. It is only his fear, nurtured by his woman to involve the state, which compels him to get married.

    If he steps back, he'd see that the relationship was held up by absolutely nothing more than his performance in the smv arena. An arena which devalues the man who shackles himself like a fool to the whims of a woman.

    Side story: I've been getting a high rate of flakes lately on tinder. Granted, these are smoke show 20 year olds. But, sitting back yesterday thinking about how a girl can go from spilling her guts, absolutely enthralled to meet and experience me, then two hours later, ghost before the meet up, shows how most women lack even the faintest scrap of integrity.

    These are THE EXACT SAME WOMEN who will desperately try and lock you down with the marriage card, come 28 and the impending shadow of the wall. The thing is, nothing has changed, her integrity is still nil.

    Integrity is a value which you either live by, or don't live by to whichever degree you choose, regardless of the situation or outcome. If she is a 9 at 20 years old or a 7 at 28 years old, although her value has fluctuated greatly, her integrity will remain unchanged. She will always be as unreliable as she was in her younger years.

    Smv is the only thing that matters - marriage contracts are for fucking idiots who can't see past their own emotions.

    [–][deleted]  (14 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]1jb_trp 13 points14 points  (13 children)

      It's always funny to me (funny-sad, not funny-haha) when guys get overly upset or hung up on an LTR that doesn't work out. Like, when you're just dating, you're just hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. It should be easy, right? Like, you're just going out for drinks, maybe taking a vacation, having sex, and doing easy, fun shit.

      But then it goes sideways. She starts acting bitchy. Or becomes distant and is losing interest. Whatever... And so the relationship ends.

      But why do some dudes get so hung up on it? What's the alternative? You going to get married, buy a house, have kids, etc? That stuff is the hard stuff. Life isn't going to get better and more fun or easier when you do those things. And if it isn't good enough now, there's no way it's going to be better when you're doing all the hard stuff, and it's not just vacations and drinks and sex... It's crying children, mortgage payments, no vacations, and a dead bedroom... Then they leave and take half your stuff (or more), and find a new sucker to fuck them until they get bored, and they try to take half of their stuff... Rinse and repeat.

      [–]Docbear64 13 points14 points  (10 children)

      It's that old saying right :

      That’s the trouble about marriage. Women always hope it’s going to change the husband. Men always hope it won’t change their wives—and both are disappointed!

      Men marry hoping to salvage / perfectly preserve that early honeymoon phase and the woman his wife is at the beginning of the relationship .

      They don't get that THAT period is the golden period , very very very few relationships get better from that point so when shit starts going south don't desperately grasp to keep it , allow yourself to go find someone new and create those feelings there.

      [–]1jb_trp 12 points13 points  (9 children)

      And if your marriage is not going well... Just have another kid! /s

      I have a female coworker that is in her mid-30s. She and her husband divorced a few years ago, but got back together. Then they had another kid about a year and a half ago (so now they have 4 children, one of them has autism).

      And now? She wants to separate from him. They got together when they were in their early 20s... And even got back together. He doesn't want to lose her or the kids, and they even bought a house together. But... She needs to "find herself" and claims she "never has felt those feelings she wants to feel." The fucking hell? This woman is going to screw over her children's well-being just to chase some feelings?

      I don't think she understands she's playing a sucker's game. No self-respecting man is going to want to date/marry an average looking woman in her mid 30s with 4 kids who left her husband to "find herself." The high-value male she is imagining in her head is too busy banging women 10-15 years younger than her with no baggage or children.

      [–]Docbear64 8 points9 points  (7 children)

      I promise all of them watch romantic movies, read romance novels , and listen to love songs, and think that the goal is to achieve something that the song perfectly describes 1000% of the time .

      It's like teenage girl imaginations on overdrive no matter how old they get. She's going to divorce him , hop on Tinder for a while, If she's halfway attractive possibly meet a Chad who fucks her for a few months, and then when he dumps her she'll be right back on hubbys doorstep .

      I can accept that women are shitty but these men who refuse to grab their balls and let these bitches die alone infuriate me . She's fucked you over and abandoned your relationship twice and yet these dudes just wait in the wings for the women to return .

      It bothers the shit out of me.

      [–]1jb_trp 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      all of them watch romantic movies, read romance novels , and listen to love songs, and think that the goal is to achieve something that the song perfectly describes 1000% of the time .

      You're describing my last relationship to a T. We were only together a few months, and we were just having fun dates, I was taking her outside and teaching her how to rock climb, and we bought tickets to go on vacation together... I mean, it should have been good. But somewhere along the way, BAM, it was like nothing was good enough for her. It was like she needed to feel these crazy strong feelings all the time and she couldn't be content with the normalcy of life.

      And me? I'm not going to spin my wheels trying to make some chick feel all these feelings. If she's not happy with me, there's the door. There's always another young fit chick to take climbing with me and keep me warm at night...

      [–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      When they get that way, it's time to strategically vanish from her life for a time. It's a true saying that time and distance makes loves grow fonder, too much familiarity and comfort ("he loves me, he's not going anywhere") is the death of romance.

      [–]Docbear64 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      There's always another young fit chick to take climbing with me and keep me warm at night...

      When I was a younger and fat I didn't believe this , I felt like there was no way a fit older guy could get laid more than a guy who was younger. I've been focusing on my body and health , working to get healthier , and every year I get older ,stronger, and more fit it seems like I capture more of the attention of women younger than me . I have more 24 year olds interested in me now than I had when I was 24 years old and younger.

      You said it perfectly, there is always another one spend time with .

      [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (9 children)

      I was miserable, trapped, and staying with a mistake for the kids when I found TRP.

      Im still married but things are very fucking different. I now choose to stay as I like living in my house and with my kids. but I dont need it and can burn it down and be just fine

      That attitude has her clinging like a barnacle and things are fine.

      I dont recommend marriage but its not inevitable that if you already sat in the game and drew these shitty cards that you will lose.

      [–]B_ILL 104 points105 points  (23 children)

      If a girl doesn't stay with you because you wont marry her she didn't really like you IMHO.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 167 points168 points  (16 children)

      This is a typical bluepill comment, ala "just be confident".

      Let's try it redpill-style:

      Girls have an innate anxiety about long-term providing given that their SMV is going down rapidly past their 20s. Even if they don't believe this because they bought into the "sexy-at-all-age" blue-pill lie, they still have this evolution-built little voice in the back of their mind that say, louder and louder with age, "Lock in the commitment of the highest SMV man you can, ASAP!". This is inherent to their sexual strategy. If you're in a relationship with her, this little nagging voice means that she will feel the need to ensure your long-term commitment, aka to get you to marry her.

      Now we know that girls will categorize you either as an alpha lover or a beta provider. If you're a beta to her, your resources and attention are your entire value. If you make it clear you prefer to reserve the right to take those resources away from her (aka not marry), then she will swing branch as fast as possible to a more cooperative branch. If you're an alpha to her, she will insist even more to ensure your commitment. She will be extremely frustrated if you refuse to marry, but she will stay because you're the best she has... and keep hoping she can eventually convince you... until the day she hits the wall and she will leave you in hurry to marry a dependable beta provider (and still fuck you on the side).

      In any case, it's not about whether she "likes" you or not, it's whether or not she wants to get married to secure a male's providing for after she's lost her SMV. Some don't want it or need it. But if this is what she wants, there's about nothing you can do to prevent her from leaving you eventually. Now if you want to stay with the same girl forever without marrying her, here's a trick: just find one that is already married to a beta shlub and be her affair partner, or official cuckolder.

      [–]SKRedPill 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      This is all fine. Only these days there are no consequences for anything women do, so I think it's equal parts hypergamy and equal parts arrogance.

      While the evolutionary biology holds good, there's the question of just how spoiled people can get as well.

      [–]Ben_Eszes 16 points17 points  (8 children)

      Way to go and make things more complicated than they need to be. The point is that the woman doesn't like you -- ever! She likes the way you make her feel, and likes the things you can provide for her. So if she won't stay with you because you won't marry her, then she definitely doesn't really like you.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 42 points43 points  (7 children)

      Dumbing down concepts to make them understandable by a wider public is automatically denaturing the concepts. Saying that the original concept is complicated doesn't mean it's unnecessarily complicated. It only means that you are incapable or unwilling to do the intellectual effort to understand something and thus demand something simpler, despite the risks of misconstruing the original concept.

      Women's sexual strategy as defined in TRP as "hypergamy" and explained as the dual "Alpha fucks, Beta bucks" might sound too complicated for you but it is the best model out there to explain women's behavior. For any behavior by women in your life, your first line of understanding should be "does she see me as alpha or beta?". Or in other words "Is she sexually attracted to me, or am I just a tool to provide her with something?". If it's too complicated for you and you prefer to use the "she likes me / she doesn't like me" model, then by all means go for it. But don't be surprised when the day comes that she leaves you even though she "likes" you.

      [–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Interesting. When it came up, I told my ltr, I will never marry. She did not bail, yet. Also she isnt nagging me about it. Sooner or later I will see how it plays out.

      [–]1Ramesses_ 20 points21 points  (3 children)

      I get where you're coming from but marriage (lifetime security and commitment) is their end game. They might like you but not as much as they like that and if they have to throw you under the bus to get it they will. Think of commitment for women as like sex to a man. Very important and biologically driven.

      [–]Brickles09 14 points15 points  (2 children)

      What is ironic when considering that 90% of divorces are asked by women... BTW, all girlfriends I had wanted to end the relationship. I was the one wanting “commitment for life”.

      [–]askmrcia 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      BTW, all girlfriends I had wanted to end the relationship. I was the one wanting “commitment for life”.

      Yup same, or they would do shit like start fights with me for no reason or something which would force me to end the relationship so they would not look like the bad guy that ended the relationship.

      [–]ramfex21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I kinda agree with you.. if she leaves because you won’t marry, that’s a good sign of what her intentions for you actually were. We all know when a woman is really in love she will do almost anything including going along with a man not willing to commit to marriage. If she leaves you, she didn’t really love you that much.

      [–]_the_shape_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Yep.

      Once you get the ultimatum or the "I just feel like I'm wasting my time" or "where is this going?" speech, the relationship enters the life-support stage.

      [–]feros321 349 points350 points  (40 children)

      Look I’m in my mid forties. Married the perfect woman. Luckiest guy I know. And I still wouldn’t ever get married again. There. From the guy who has a fantastic marriage. It’s just not necessary.

      [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 93 points94 points  (10 children)

      As someone who is very interested in the challenge of marriage and building a large family, I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this.

      [–]Bisuboy 52 points53 points  (1 child)

      Think about whether you actually need to marry her. How does marriage improve your life?

      If you definitely want to marry her although the system is heavily flawed against you, make a good prenup. Let her get a lawyer different from yours. Let a lawyer check and accept the prenup again ~2 years after marriage.

      Apart from that, find yourself a great woman. If you see serious red flags, move away or at least don't commit any further. There are probably hordes of Eastern European and Asian women that would literally do everything for you in order to be able to raise a family while living a life 99% of their country could only dream of.

      [–]theaspiringasshole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Prenups are no guarantee and are often tossed out in court. One thing that does work and will protect you and your assets is an irrevocable trust. Get one set up well beforehand, and put everything you want to keep in it.

      [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 96 points97 points  (0 children)

      Lol he just fucking said, don't do it.

      If you're gonna shoot your own foot, post it on YouTube so we can laugh.

      [–]omg_ppl_are_stupid 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      I'm the same as feros321. Happily married, life if actually pretty good. But fuck no if i'm ever going to get married, or even encourage my two sons to get married. Most likely there is zero reason for you to actually marry. I mean zero... want kids? Go adopt, go find a women who also wants kids and is willing to co parent, instead of marry and share living spaces. Otherwise i can't think of a single reason to have a women that close within your life. I bust my ass(so does my wife), and what do we really have to show for it.... no time for each other because we have two kids and no time together. Basically, we're co parenting and co habitating for the last 5 years since having children. This is all based on having children.... if you don't want to have children, WHY WOULD YOU GET MARRIED??? there is literally NO reason, i mean NO logic reason for you to wed. You gain NOTHING by marrying. Absolutely NOTHING! If you have any ideas that you have that you actually gain from marriage i would love to hear them.

      My block of text is not cohesive at all.... i know this, and i don't care.

      [–]askmrcia 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      go find a women who also wants kids and is willing to co parent, instead of marry and share living spaces.

      I have to disagree here. I'm not sure if it's cool to have my own kids grow up up with basically two sets of parents. The mom that is co parenting will have other guys in her house who is basically another dad.

      The same can be said for you assuming you're going to be banging other women that's not your baby mother.

      [–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (20 children)

      Hey man I’d love to hear how you managed to snag somewhat of a unicorn.

      Im in my 20s and for some reason my brain is hardwired to be a family man and have babyfever for a daughter.

      Growing up Christian and growing up with stable parents that resolves their occasional quarrels like actual adults made me believe and strive for a similar marriage when I hit 30.

      Im curious on how men like you and my father manage to snag loyal ones. Really am.

      [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 69 points70 points  (15 children)

      The times are wrong. You grew up in the wrong era. That's not your fault, but it's still your problem.

      That's The Red Pill, right there.

      You can't have a family and kids. Accept it and thrive, or delude yourself and suffer. Those are your options.

      [–]Sengos 43 points44 points  (12 children)

      So true.

      I'm a 26 year old, and I can see through bullshit faux confidence in my age mates and tell who is trending upward and trending downward. And I'm also at the age where people I grew up with are starting to get married.

      Since I work with mainly men who are 15-20 years my senior on average (engineering), many are married with kids. Out of all of them, I think 2-3 are happily married. The others are pretty sloven alcoholics. ALL obese, or morbidly obese. They hate their job, their wives, and their lives in general. They look for any reprieve they can find from their daily lifecycle. They are truly beasts of burden. They look like hell.

      The 26 year olds in marriages, from what I see, experience pretty rapid weight gain. Makes sense, no that they are settled and don't need to keep up appearances for their loved ones. They look, health wise, to be trending downward. I can see the formation of unhappy 40 year olds down the road.

      Lol, I can see the posts on dead bedrooms already.

      The single dudes in their late 30s have a few screws loose, but they are happy. They definitely see life as still a half full glass and enjoy traveling. Some are in shape, some aren't. Most are slaying. Most have savings. They mention they can be lonely at times. And that's understandable when all your friends or coworkers are busy maintaining those awful marriages their in (in general).

      Life is suffering. But you can to decide the suffering.

      It's no joke out here. And HSP himself said it best.

      [–]mynameisfrankfurter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Beasts of Burdens- that's all men are to society. That is what the government wants and that is what a women will take- why not when men go out of their way to provide this service.

      To the men out there, As Nancy Reagan said, Say No to Marriage!

      [–]pmmedenver 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      If you're lifting solely for women you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm 26 and I see myself still lifting 50 years from now. Its typical that men get into some hobby in order to impress women and then find out the hobby itself is better and more meaningful than any woman. Strive for greatness, not an excuse to give up. Shameless plug for Jordan Peterson's new book, it changed my life.

      [–]youngzari 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      This post is so relatable as a man who recently hit 30. I can see the signs from my peers who are getting married, gaining weight you can foresee the inevitable effects health-wise and happiness-wise on the decline. It almost feels like they have this need to keep up with the joneses which puts their own needs in the backseat.

      Sad!

      [–]laylowwww 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is spot on. I've seen great physiques turn to schlub overnight at the hand of marriage.

      [–]iknowthewhey 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      You can't have a family and kids. Accept it and thrive, or delude yourself and suffer. Those are your options.

      What does the community still not get about this? There is no family anymore. We were lied to. Wake up and realize that you don't get to have a family anymore. Go out into the world in live. Do not take all this information and ignore the obvious truth. I don't care if you find your unicorn. It still won't work. You can be the most alpha douchebag in town. Your unicorn will divorce you, and run your life into the ground. How many more field reports do people need to see before they realize there is no marriage and no family anymore. Time to wake up and deal with the cold reality.

      [–]Merwebb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Im in my 20s and for some reason my brain is hardwired to be a family man and have babyfever for a daughter.

      .... and growing up with stable parents that resolves their occasional quarrels like actual adults made me believe and strive for a similar marriage when I hit 30.

      Shit dude, i also have these things moving around my head.

      [–]zevfern 58 points59 points  (6 children)

      Modern society in all its facets has ruined the possibility of having a healthy relationship.

      Incoming Brave New World, I suppose.

      [–]HumpyMagoo 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      If you read that book you need to read The Wanting Seed by Anthony Burgess.

      [–]p_and_q 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      The Forever War is also a good read for this genre

      [–]beginner_ 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      It's kind of a perverse mixture of BNW and 1984. from 1984 we get the surveillance thing, rewriting of history (to some extent) and the party (eg. feminism).

      [–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel 90 points91 points  (2 children)

      The biggest reason women got married before was for security for herself and her children. Now, they can get the security without having to stick around with their beta husbands. Their lack of foresight coupled with the newfound feminine entitlement leads them to believe they can dick around and someone else is going to reward them with another marriage later on.

      [–]TitsAndWhiskey 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Well, I mean they probably CAN find another chump. At least for now. Men are slowly starting to wise up, but bluepill chumps are still the majority.

      [–]Banned-in-Boston 137 points138 points  (66 children)

      I think this is the rubicon, if something like this should ever happen to you:

      They set my CS at the highest earnings I've ever made in my life - a single month during my time owning a janitorial business - , pre tax, 40%.

      This is when you tell CS, or the judge, "No. I refuse. I will not do that. I will never agree to that amount. Either set a reasonable amount now, or take me to jail."

      Jail is not as bad as poverty in slavery.

      [–]Pie_021 117 points118 points  (58 children)

      Fuck that. Just leave the country. I mean this dude is contemplating suicide, just fucking peace out. Go to Canada, go to a Europe, go to some country where that shit don't fly.

      [–]Banned-in-Boston 107 points108 points  (20 children)

      Too late for him, unless he already has a passport. He can never get one now.

      Pro Life Tip: Always hold a valid passport from age 18 onwards.

      [–]no_face 60 points61 points  (0 children)

      I hear the tunnels under US/Mexico border are cheaper on the way out.

      [–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (2 children)

      **ANOTHER PRO LIFE TIP: CHILD SUPPORT WILL TAKE YOUR PASSPORT IF YOU DONT PAY, SKIP THE COUNTRY BEFORE THEY DO

      [–]Libertarian-Party 21 points22 points  (1 child)

      Wouldn’t the real tip be: pay the child support while you slowly move all your assets to foreign countries then secretly apply for residency/citizenship, and when approved, dip out forever?

      That seems like the best option. Pay the CS while you make sure the govt cant get another penny from your assets when you leave.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [removed]

        [–]KV-n 17 points18 points  (2 children)

        Lol i got one recently at age 25 for "just in case" and hopefully it will be blank in my forties too.

        Although as an eastern european the emergency i had in mind had much more to do with russia repeating their soviet era than my personal problems.

        [–]sunbro29 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        This is definitely a pro tip that deserve the bold and larger text.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Wat? He is paying his CS regularly. Why wouldn't he get a passport? Horseshit.

        [–]Chaddeus_Rex 27 points28 points  (6 children)

        Canada and Western Europe will extradite you back to the US. Go to Eastern Europe like Ukraine or Russia (easier to blend in). Or go to Thailand.

        [–]chrisname 13 points14 points  (3 children)

        All of those countries would also probably extradite a foreign fugitive of no political importance.

        [–]Voctr 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        I wonder if they would put in that much effort for some child support.

        [–]chrisname 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        If it got into the media, then yes, because otherwise the "long arm of the law" looks a lot shorter. Otherwise, yeah, they might not bother.

        [–]afkb39sdfb 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        [–]Chaddeus_Rex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        So i wasnt mistaken about Russia Good to know.

        [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (25 children)

        Europe

        It’s worse there... did you see the post about Sweden’s sex laws the other day?

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Yeah I was just using it as an example because I saw it in a post the other day.

          [–]havelbrandybuck 8 points9 points  (1 child)

          When you're at the point where a woman has just taken your entire life from you, I wouldn't be surprised if many men resort to paying their ex a visit before knocking themselves off.

          [–]lorum_ipsum_dolor 14 points15 points  (2 children)

          This would take the kind of guts few men could muster but as a negotiating strategy it has its upsides.

          1. The court's primary focus is to get the case off its docket under the best terms it can. Voluntary jail short circuits this goal.

          2. The wife's attorney (and the wife) will be horrified at the prospect of not getting any CS and will quickly agree to getting something over nothing.

          The downside is that Family Court Judges can be capricious and unpredictable. There are no doubt some that would say, "Fine. Have fun in jail".

          [–]zestytacoz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          It's hard to negotiate with a man with nothing to lose. And a man whose income will be almost entirely taken away will have nothing to lose

          [–]TitsAndWhiskey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Agreed. There are at least three options I would consider before suicide in this scenario. This is one of them.

          [–]rman1001 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          In my experience, the judge does not really give you the opportunity to speak. I was allowed to speak one sentence of 8 words before the verdict was rendered and the gavel dropped. For those going into family court, you might only get one chance to speak. Make it count.

          [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 121 points122 points  (9 children)

          And before any girl who hears this brings up upper class women, and give a sophisticated "don't be poor" argument...

          Exactly what annual income makes a woman act right? Wait for the answer.

          [–]RedPillCoach 86 points87 points  (1 child)

          Brad Pitt made plenty of money and he got the you are an abuser routine because he dared to raise his voice with the kids.

          [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 53 points54 points  (0 children)

          Celebs are professional sociopaths, they never count

          [–]mishasam89 62 points63 points  (0 children)

          Exactly what annual income makes a woman act right?

          lol

          these-days, even the princes of Dubai couldn't keep a chick in check

          [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          SIX of my friends are married and still married. Actually there have been no divorces after 10 to 15 years...I actually don't know anyone from my group of friends that got married within 3 years out of college that got a divorce. For all intents, they were equal to higher value than the girl... maybe that explains it.

          [–]Hoodwink 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          When she makes more than you and isn't willing to give up her career?

          Because then she is paying child support?

          [–]BirdManBrrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Depends who has custody, if she has custody she's likely still going to get child support regardless.

          [–]Hussy68 68 points69 points  (5 children)

          Honestly he should just jump the border and get the fuck out

          [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 71 points72 points  (4 children)

          What border? We've been super busy getting rid of those things. Good luck escaping governments that want to keep their milk cows paying. It's going to get to the point that you'll have to go to some of the most lawless corners of the planet to avoid crushing court orders.

          [–]mishasam89 41 points42 points  (0 children)

          and people are surprised why i voted for Trump; lol.

          which candidate was shilling for the "no borders" again?

          [–]uebermacht 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Useful link as the majority of TRP readers are from USA.
          However, Russia is not listed so feel free to rawdogg some sluts in your vacation in Florida.
          Some cuck will pay for a single mum for sure.

          [–]BurningOrangeHeaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Wow thats crazy but good to know i can still escape to Asia like i planned hahaha

          [–]COCAINE_ADVOCATE 66 points67 points  (8 children)

          Even after watching my situation unfold (which is very tame compared to that guy, but still) my three closest friends proceeded to get engaged and marry over the course of the past couple of years. It couldn't have happened at a better time for them to see what can (and will likely) happen but they went ahead with it anyway.

          Unfortunately it's like touching a hot stove burner. You have to do it once to know what it's like, but this pain lasts a lifetime. Those guys that get married three or four times, though, I really can't explain that one.

          [–]BirdManBrrrr 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          Everyone who spectates a horror show of a divorce from someone they know and still gets married likely says "oh we're different...she's not like that...we're gonna do it right".

          I did. Married and divorced within two years. Guys don't understand how quickly women change their mind; the ring is meaningless.

          [–]Redasshole 102 points103 points  (16 children)

          Told my brother some facts about marriage, you know, the usual numbers. % of divorces. % of divorces initiated by women.

          Then told he would lose half his shit, wouldn't be able to see his children anymore and would give half his salary to his ex wife until the children are of legal age.

          His answer :

          that's not that bad

          I kid you not.

          That's when I stopped trying to help BP guys.

          [–]1empatheticapathetic 24 points25 points  (2 children)

          Same story. I realised literally today that he is a white knight type, despite having had all the bullshit happen to him.

          [–]Redasshole 34 points35 points  (1 child)

          They are happy being fucked over.

          Take my father. He is abused by my feminist mother constantly.

          Whenever I would step up to defend him he would end up attacking me.

          Whenever I would side with my mother and injustly attack him, criticize him...he would be happy and tell me I'm right and he would appreciate me more.

          I mean I'm all for treating you right but if you punish me for treating you right and reward me for treating you like a piece of shit....

          Those people live in a different world than us and none of us can't understand them anymore and vice versa.

          [–]1empatheticapathetic 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          I can understand it to a degree; from my viewpoint it's a case of low self esteem and lack of understanding of gender dynamics. It can easily be cured (in the case of my brother) but they are weak, lazy and afraid to take a risk and 'lose'. Especially if time is not on their side any more.

          [–]havelbrandybuck 25 points26 points  (9 children)

          What's the alternative? You don't get married, spend the rest of your life fucking random women and die without a family and kids, or you date a woman who doesn't want children? Marriage is the biggest life risk for men but it's the only way they'll have a strong family foundation.

          [–]SKRedPill 24 points25 points  (2 children)

          To really understand what true abundance feels like, one needs to think about how you're gonna dealing with old age, disease, loss of work, money, your home, degeneration, dependence, isolation and death. And let me get the bad news out of the way first -- these things are the curse of the earth and they WILL come to you, sooner or later, if you're not ready.

          What I see is that when a lot of men cross 50-60 and their testosterone declines, they start getting these fears. Most younger people marry and start families from this needy point of origin -- only to see that their fears attracted the very thing they fear. As men, we need to figure out how we're going to face these, it's not if, but when.

          These fears when not addressed, keeps a man trapped and bound, hurts his confidence and abundance mentality, and it'll force you to build your life around a needy paradigm. The thought at the very bottom of your mind, is the one that'll come true.

          Now how's that relevant to TRP? This. You cannot fully discover the things that make you a high value attractive man -- fearlessness, power, confidence and abundance without a healthy frame and a way of living that addresses these.

          Paternal love is real. Men aren't drone bees. They love children, they have a drive to pass on their genes and the lessons they learned to another generation. Children love and need parents and a strong family foundation. Trust and the needs of many is what built all aspects of civilization. But it's not possible the way people and the government are today. Men must take back their power to commit, but there'll be plenty of fools willing to get fucked over who won't get it until it hits.

          If that's the only way how men need to awaken to the truth, so be it. If you still want to take the risk, go ahead, but be prepared. It's only a matter of when, and how ugly.

          [–]Redasshole 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          Wrong..........

          You can still have a family and not get married.

          [–]thedaynos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          isn't the alternative to get a solid prenup?

          i realize with a prenup she can still fuck you over with custody but you minimize the risk of her leaving when she realizes she won't get anything aside from child support.

          [–]ramfex21 47 points48 points  (20 children)

          My LTR of 4 years is starting to nag about marriage and complaining that I don’t want to get married. I’m not going to cave. I know too much now to even consider marriage

          [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

          I caved. But reacted and got out shortly after and without any financial damage.

          My advice: walk.

          [–]4scoopscomeon 15 points16 points  (1 child)

          Next time she brings it up, you should ask her why exactly she wants to get married. Unless you already have?

          [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          I'm in the same boat man .. I've been with my girl a little over 2 years and she definitely keeps mentioning marriage, hinting at engagement, moving in, kids, etc.

          Frankly, it's a shit situation because she really is a sincere, decent person. I just feel like I know too much now. The Easter bunny isn't real, so to speak...

          [–]ramfex21 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          I’d feel an immense restriction if I got married. Like I see guys who are married, following around their wives like little puppies pretending to be happy with their circumstances. We all know that they aren’t happy, they literally have no mobility or freedom. Women love control. And they way they do it is with marriage and children. And if they can’t get a man to commit they literally begin to lose their shit.

          [–]cloudspike 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          lead her on. Tell her you need X amount saves up first. That should take a year and a half. Then propose, plan the marriage, and then dump her. You get good engagement sex.

          [–]VikingOverlorde 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          You should probably sack up and break up with her at this point. Sounds like a big disagreement.

          [–]ramfex21 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Yea that’s the most probable outcome

          [–]1OneRedSock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Not sure what these other fools are talking about "have you asked her..." or "have you talked about why...".

          Fucking hard next, immediately. When the marriage talks begin, it's time to end. Once they got marriage on the brain, all they see is signs of marriage and commitment. She'll zero in on all social media about friends getting married, then bitch. Or she'll talk to a friend who's brother's cousin's sister is getting married, then bitch. It's just death by a thousand nags.

          Been there, fuck that.

          [–]eagle_shadow 67 points68 points  (10 children)

          I'm sorry, but a good chunk of this is complete bullshit.

          Texas does not base CS on one month of pay, but on the last year's earnings prior to divorce.

          Restraining orders do not mean a higher rate of achieving custody.

          There is free legal help for both men and women in Texas.

          95% of all custody cases do not go to women. More and more men are challenging custody, and men who do challenge for custody get custody the vast majority of the time.

          How do I know this? Because I got a fucking divorce in Texas and won. I beat everything this man said he faced because I faced it, too. Control your emotions, document your shit, and do what is best for your kids. If she truly is a fuck up, you will win. In short, be a goddamn man and stop whining by blaming the woman.

          [–]fokm 32 points33 points  (3 children)

          Another user in he original thread went through dudes comment history and yes, this is a troll post it seems.

          What really sucks is that it’s completely plausible barring those details.

          [–]eagle_shadow 25 points26 points  (2 children)

          It's plausible, but only if you literally do nothing. My frustration is that this sub is supposed to be for men to better themselves, but all too often it turns into a woman bashing echo chamber.

          [–]Hyper_Sonik 36 points37 points  (9 children)

          Buddy I went through a very similar situation in the past year and a half. My high school sweetheart was pregnant with my son. I was supportive to the nth degree. She dumped my ass on valentine's day and ignored me the entire pregnancy. Right after the baby was born she starts going out with her ex who had been in jail. They broke up after about a month. We got back together. I knew it wouldn't last but wanted to see my son for the first time and spend as much time as possible. 5 days before Christmas she texts me at work saying it was a big mistake for getting back with me and that she was going to go back with her ex who was in jail. Can't imagine the pain. But it's slowly getting bether. Trust me, the pain numbs. I haven't seen my son in almost 2 months and it's he'll. I made one last Stand with her on the phone and told her she will call me to come to and understanding or I will not call or text. I did that because she was trying to pull a power play on me, demanding I pay her monew, pay for a bunch of shot even though she gets a LOT of money for the baby from the government, and her insistence that her ex is going to have a talk with me. I recognized the cuck frame she was trying to put me in and walked away. Still haven't heard from her. Ran into her parents a couple weeks ago and they were sympathetic. The sad and painfull part is I have to walk away in ghost.mode in the hopes she pulls back into my frame and from there I won't give and inch. Ice been reading TRP for the past year but it's really this situation with her and that I have been able to recognize paralells and RP lessons. I know what NOT to do. Anyways, our story isn't uncommon so don't beat yourself up. Just realize AWALT. And talk to the courts because the will adjust your payment to fit your income.

          [–]Denver_Luv3 89 points90 points  (2 children)

          I haven't seen my son in almost 2 months and it's he'll.

          I don't want to hit you when you're down, but have you gotten a DNA test? If not, that should be your one number priority right now.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [removed]

            [–]JJ3314 15 points16 points  (0 children)

            It’s hard to feel empathy for women when you hear stories like this. I agree. Unfortunately this scenario is not at all uncommon, and there are decent numbers of women who would provide emotional support to a friend engaging in this sort of behavior as well. Young men really need to get their wits about them early. This is a war, but it’s largely being fought on psychological grounds, and in the courts, academia, and media.

            [–]yoghurtorgan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            Talk to a lawyer to see what your options may be, if the other guy was in prison for violent things it may sway a judge.

            [–]norcalguy510 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            So have you initiated any motions to get 50% custody? I understand how you feel, but you cannot afford to react, instead plan, and act.

            [–]blackedoutfast 39 points40 points  (4 children)

            play stupid games, win stupid prizes

            [–]FU-ThatsY 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            This always gets to me. I don't know how you can walk into the most shadiest casino and not see the red flags. I can actually see a couple and in 15mins of meeting them I already know it will fuck up. People ignore the signs and signals and when shit goes wrong. They forget about that time where she cheated and they forgave her, or the other time where she went to an ex's house, going out late to parties and coming back pissed drunk, drinks, have no hobbies, social media is her only life, daddy's little princess, narcissistic, rude to people lower than her. Like they just block out everything and when all the cards are down and they failed to call her bluff, "But I thought you were different", Nahh son, you wanted her to be different. If someone isn't a good sport. I don't play.

            [–]Daspker780 12 points13 points  (2 children)

            You sound like my old Drill Sergeant

            [–]1sezamus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            JUST DON'T DO IT... EVER!

            I live in Poland - ultraconservative, catholic country and guess what? Married/engaged girls are the first ones to hit on me. The more they know me, the more they want me. Unexperienced, young girls get shy, but married ones get all touchy, while their beta sits at home or "goes with the guys".

            You want to "Let her boyfriend/husband worry" than be the idiot who worries why she is coming home so late.

            u/Whisper, if it was not for you, I would not see that shit with my own eyes. I adopted the mentality you suggested, that her social deal is not my responsibilty, so I escalated things and my eyes got opened.

            [–]jeromeantoinecarter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            Shit was all his fault too. Had a fucking terrible attorney and I have a feeling he felt bad about something and just agreed to whatever that bitch was asking for. There are no statutes that would take his one month of highest ever earning to calculate his CS off of, that is bullshit. He also said it was determined in arbitration, which means he AGREED TO IT! idiot!.

            I am answering, and pissed at this DF because I am divorced to a land whale, pay $3,200/mo for another 10.5 years! Bitch wanted $7k/mo!!! Best bet for this guy or any guy is to go out an improve yourself from the divorce date status (just don't let her know). My income has doubled and I live like a pauper in front of her. Let that cunt believe she is killing me. Will say divorcing her fat ass was the best thing ever in my life. She gained 100 pounds after 2 kids, then wanted to quit her 100k/yr job that allowed her to work from home, and wanted me to give her fat ass more kids! Said Fuck no, she moved out, then when I didn't chase her, tried to beg her way back,,, no fucking way. Now at 47, divorced 6 years, I have enjoyed 20-40 year old women and had 5 girls going at once, and they all knew about each other! Fucking crazy how this RP works, compared to what you are taught growing up.

            Also, Having a C-suite job, high 6 figure income, work out with the same strength as when I was in my 20's, TRT, hair replacement. Men remain desirable if they make an effort.

            Thanks for the opportunity to vent, rant...

            [–]tteabag2591 20 points21 points  (12 children)

            People in this sub are so bad about conflating "relationship" with "marriage". You can have a solid relationship without marrying anyone. You can even have children and not marry. The marriage part is you making a foolish bet just to flaunt how awesome you think your relationship is at the moment. Stay humble and just don't marry. You maintain the power of leaving that way. That's your only weapon in a gynocentric society.

            [–]tallwheel 4 points5 points  (4 children)

            If you have children, you can still end up paying CS whether you're married or not.

            [–]THESkipp 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            You don’t loose half of everything though.

            [–]IClogToilets 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Well, I would not be so sure. Depends upon what assets were collected during the relationship.

            [–]IcebergHermit 31 points32 points  (6 children)

            Women are cruel and enjoy making men hurt emotionally and financially. It is a sick form of “grrrl power” to them. Something like this happened to me but without the kid. She dyed her hair red and started cheating on me when we were supposed to be getting married. Yes I am happy we never married but shocked at how malicious women can be.

            [–]papapinga 20 points21 points  (0 children)

            It's because we are physically able to overpower them, whereas they need to resort to psychological means to exert force. Not condoning it just a biological observation

            [–]suaressi 8 points9 points  (3 children)

            and i bet it happened almost overnight. they can do a complete 180 on you and act as if you were never there to begin with

            [–]banjew 16 points17 points  (2 children)

            It's called lightswitch effect. Not only they forget you, they forget that they ever loved you to begin with. That's why they say "I never really loved you anyway" they really forget it. It's some kind of evolutionary shit they have programmed in their heads.

            [–]GarandTheftAvto 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            IIIRC the leading theory (at least in our sub) is that it’s an evolutional adaptation for when a new group comes into the tribe and slaughters everyone, killing offspring and taking wives. It’s interesting as hell, in addition to being very tough to accept.

            [–]varlogmessages 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            UHVyZ2luZyBteSBjb21tZW50cw==

            [–]zyqkvx 15 points16 points  (2 children)

            <Hopefully helpful rant>

            Edit: I misread, thought troubled guy made original post.

            Dealing with tragedy is yet one more RP skill. Whether you have a flu so bad you want to die, suicide seems like a rational choice, you lost your job and have no means to pay rent and / or you got divorced it you will be in a state you believe is how it's always been and will always be. It's not. Use your mind. The amount of time you spend that 'that mental' that you want to die is a tiny sliver of the time you have lived. Understand that. The most fucked situation will pass with no effort and some patience. That's rule #1. It gets better than that because if you can just keep yourself distracted, say watching a movie, then movie hopping to kill 4 hours of this sliver you are ahead. That's rule #2.. you can wait it out in a waiting room fretting over it the whole time and it will pass so distracting yourself for hours is even better. It's much better to go in to self regulation mode, and distract yourself for hours too. That is, make sure you have eaten a few times every day, don't spend time thinking about the problems in a way that drives you crazy. Choose one of your problems and solve it in chunks, then use any downtime to distract yourself with a movie or a podcast. That's rule #3 Merely distracting yourself will get you out of 'wanting death' mode, but if you can put in some work jobs as a form distraction, and solving some of the problems as a form of distraction, you will not only come out of it soon enough, you will be happy you did and ready to move on.

            It doesn't matter if you when to a street corner and hung around like a bum for a week. It will pass.

            After. you know it will pass. no matter what's a matter of channeling yourself to pass the time.

            ....

            Also. All the 'deadbeat dad' and other shit are just shit women criminally use to distract blame from themselves. You need strategies to deal with that shit as well. It's about learning not to lower your head when one of these verbal abuse lines is bolting towards you. It's about seeing them for what they are AWHILE you are being shanked with this abuse. You should see these actions as petting, malicious and childlike. As a strategy do not every visualize yourself as a deadbeat dad or ever engage in explaining to them why you are not a deadbeat dad. That's just shit stupid stuff men do. If a woman is blatantly using a lie to get somewhere, she will never say 'oh your right' after you explain it to her. Don't allow yourself to be around those 'backing her up' Avoid the ones you must see sometimes, never see yourself as what they are calling you, and never engage or explain. If you have to retreat, retreat to your real friends and / or here.

            Eliminate as much (that is all) of the drama and brain damage as possible by keeping busy or distracted (a healthy combo of both is the ticket). Put logistical strategies to deal with this shit in place. Who knows maybe you'll have a flu from hell next year, you can use the same strategies again.

            Maybe watch stoism videos on youtube. It's timely information that will put you in the right frame of mind. That is don't shit time trying to control what you can't control, and go full force on what you can control (you can always complete them and feel rewarded), especially times like this. Another one. Remember that all of your problems are stupid trivial in the big scheme of things. If you are acting out drama you chose to. No different then when you see someone else act like a clown when they are getting arrested or after a divorce. What do you think of them? you are thinking them acting out is just retarded. Accept that if you are acting out as a drama clown you it's useless and you are doing it by choice, not because it's a 'normal response'. That's another stoic thing, but I didn't explain that one that well.

            Here's a link to youtube videos on stoism. Clicking on any one of them will probably get your head screwed on straight again.

            Also read 'Light Switch Effect' in the sidebar.

            [–]hammerhearth 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            I knew you were a stoic before you said anything about stoicism.

            Fellas, this is the right state of mind. No matter how bad things get, nothing can harm the soul but the soul itself.

            Do not be fooled by externals. Guard your heart and soul above all.

            [–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 10 points11 points  (2 children)

            Well, I guess this is part of the mechanics of how the alphas at the apex of society get their never-ending supply of slave-betas, gammas, and omegas to fit into their pyramid-schemes.

            Also, OP is a textbook example of how not to react. He is just taking it. They set his child support on a one-off event and he doesn't appeal that? If Texas really is that unjust, he should fucking flee the state, disappear, and start a new life, not fork over his dwindling savings to that vampire.

            [–]Bear-With-Bit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            When you get over how badly women behave in marriage, you will see how badly men act too -- but not with infidelity, insensitivity, or apathy as this culture will lead you to believe, but how spineless, self-brainwashed and weak husbands and fathers have become.

            [–]oguzhakstibil 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            There is a novel in my language, a short but a great novel. Resat Nuri Guntekin’s Acımak, I hope its translated to English. This book’s about literally THIS MANS STORY but in 20. century. Strongly recommend.

            [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            Was married once. Got out of that relationship as fast as I could once the baby talks started to mix with the proposals to "open the relationship". That shit was ticking bomb. I'm never doing it again.

            I have gotten to know about my ex since then: she's still having a hard-working, career-driven life as an independent woman. Good for her, but a massive lesson for me and all of us: once they are bored with life, they just want to attempt to spice things up at OUR expense.

            In other news, all my married friends are unhappy, 50% of my close female friends are cheating on their husbands or boyfriends while trying to "reinvent themselves", "find who they really are", "exploring polyamory" (without telling their men) and so on.

            I get them, both boys and girls. Married life is boring. Routine is boring. But we men are generally on the pink end of the cock if we enter into a marriage contract and things go south.

            [–]varlogmessages 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            UHVyZ2luZyBteSBjb21tZW50cw==

            [–]ThatGuyIam123 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            I wouldn't be about to kill MYSELF....

            [–]DrBrainWillisto 7 points8 points  (4 children)

            I think the real takeaway here is don't have a kid.

            [–]Skinnynomore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Am I the only one that would fake their death and start over if this was them?

            [–]pro-complainer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            The thing is that American Laws are somewhat super strict on divorce ... almost oppressive to the husband ... in other countries where the laws are more relaxed, you don't get into the quoted situations

            But to answer the question, don't get married unless you and your spouse are religious people. Marriage is based off religion, so makes no sense why you'd want to if you aren't?

            [–]Bottled_Void 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Actually, in this scenario, I bet it makes very little difference if he's married or not. Bring your own condoms guys.

            [–]sunbro29 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Can't a prenup prevent this sort of thing? I would only marry a woman if she was so wrapped around my finger she'd sign a prenup, otherwise, no deal.

            [–]ep1939 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Could anybody link the original?

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Lol if i were this guy i would just go live in the mountains for a while... no social media or anything for a year.. just relax.. lmfao.. police have better things to do than chase some dude who isn't paying child support. And its pretty easy to duck the cops. Just say you lost your mind and you don't remember the last year! LOL! all you know is you just woke up on the other side of the country, or in another country, and you don't remember how you got there! Appear as dumb as possible so they dont suspect youre up to anything. Get a lawyer to find some obscure mental illness that has been observed in people with your genotype and that this illness makes people forget large parts of their lives. Haha. Better to lie than slave away for a bitch.

            Its not that hard to live a good life. Just self educate yourself with some self help books and live as a free man. I recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People, the 48 laws of power, and the art of war. and i would never ever ever EVER give a SINGLE penny for child support. NOT. A. PENNY. motherfucker. No bitch is ruining my life. No bitch.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            If younger married, marry a girl with similar assets and a high paying job. That's what my dad did and when they got divorced both of them were well off financially.

            [–]hodltaco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Damn that title made me swallow. Old guy here, married twice and all I can say is DO NOT FUCKING GET MARRIED!

            [–]Ismoketomuch 7 points8 points  (31 children)

            I just dont understand men who marry poor uneducated women. I will get married to my LTR but not until she gets her PHD. She will make more money then I do and then if shit foes sideways she will be the bread winner in court. Might get myself some CS if it really gets twisted.

            [–][deleted]  (18 children)

            [removed]

              [–]SonOfSparda304 17 points18 points  (7 children)

              I've never met a PhD with a stable mind. Don't do it.

              [–]banjew 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              I've never met a PhD with a stable mind. Don't do it.

              Have PhD. LTR also has a PhD. Can confirm.

              [–]coin_pwr 3 points4 points  (3 children)

              Would like to know more about this.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Poor man. No man deserves that... I don’t care if he was the most beta guy ever.

              I’m never getting married.

              [–]circlingldn 4 points5 points  (2 children)

              heres a simple fucking solution, marry someone that isnt a fucking deadbeat wife, more women go to college and more women study pharmacy/nursing etc

              [–]Johnnyvile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              This is a problem most guys have. They go for really low level women. Don’t marry the woman that is working at a low level service industry job that is likely over 25. They’re always going to want easy money and a sense of empowerment. I bet this women was already working at Starbucks and living with her parents when he met her. He didn’t marry a woman he married the equivalent of teenager at an adult age and her “rebellious” attitude is showing by dying her hair and going feminist.

              [–]erzakai 7 points8 points  (2 children)

              I wanna get married because I don’t just want to be banging random chicks for the rest of my life ya know. At some point I want security and sameness but these marriage horror stories and seeing stuff like this happen firsthand with my parents scares me.

              [–]writewhereileftoff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Yeah that's called an LTR. No contracts or ceremony needed. As if marriage guarantrees security and stability lol that's what everyone here is trying to point out.

              [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Sameness and boredom will eventually kick in. If you or your partner are still attractive and get yourselves into situations where infidelity can happen, it will happen. Might be you, might be her.

              You don't need to bang random chicks for life. You can simply jump from relationship to relationship as soon as they start losing the kick. Once we are old, tired and ugly enough to stop that, then maybe we can start thinking about setting down.

              [–]bluedragon2388 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              I can bet everything this dude ignored red flags, probably was a doormat of a sort, became complacent, went into the relationship on her terms

              While possible, I doubt a traditional woman or a woman with no red flags would dye her hair fucking blue, cheat while pregnant, run off with feminists, etc.

              Now she’s definitely at fault but don’t ignore the fact that the guy might’ve made some retarded but common mistakes.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

              Let's play: Who Wants to be a married fool?

              Fiancé tried to poison me, can you guess why?:

              A) She loved me but wasn't in love anymore

              B) She was secretly in love with someone else

              C)She was afraid of what I might do when I found out about her lover

              D)I was forcing/guilt tripping her into a relationship with me.

              Anyone?

              [–]TheRedPrince99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Made me tear up. Yet the media will never fucking cover this as it does not serve the feminine imperative. Seriously.... shit like this makes my blood boil and very angry. The times... they be changin’

              [–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Its sad but at least his pain will end soon. I dont think he has the money to flee to another country even, which usually requires at least 10k.

              [–]bigsmallkev 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              I’m curious to all my brothers out there from culturally Asian backgrounds, where the talk of marriage creeps up on you and takes over the dinner table conversation the moment you turn of age, how do you deal with the talk that you’ll have to have years to come on the inevitability of no marriage to your conservative, sheltered, delusional parents?

              [–]snapreader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Pretty sure this is how murder made me famous, got its start. I cant tell if the sub as a whole is cynical or there are really a crap ton of shitty females out there. Ive been doing my homework & the game seems rigged, very rarely if ever in the mans favor. Keep your head up op...btw js moving out of the country an option? Like an automatic do-over?

              [–]NoJobs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Jesus, I'm going through a divorce now. It's really not a big deal because we don't have kids, but I can feel his pain. I have to try my best to keep my ex-wife calm and amicable because at any moment she could flip and try to go after a lot of my money and income. It's a fucked up situation. My lawyer told me she can also require me to pay HER lawyer fees. What the fuck?

              [–]1atticusfinch1973 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Another strategy is to only get into LTRs with women who are financially successful but submissive and check all the other red pill boxes for a good mate.

              I’m divorced and with shared custody my ex actually pays ME child support because according to my tax return I make less than she does. Learn how to hide your money properly.

              My current main plate makes six figures and has massive savings but knows her place and I have excellent control over the relationship. It’s an ideal scenario if things go long term.

              load more comments (156 replies)