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Red Pill TheoryHow To Be An Attractive Man - 4 Key Tips (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1Socialinception

After hours of research, I had found what I thought to be the perfect pickup line. I walked up to a beautiful girl and said, “Hey, I thought you were cute, and I had to say hi.” She smiled, said thank you, and we talked for a couple minutes until she paused and said, “It was nice to meet you,” and walked away. I never saw her again.

I’ve read dozens of books teaching men how to attract women with lines, tactics, and tricks. But after 10 years in the game, thousands of approaches, and yes, a good number of “lays” – I’ve found that attracting women isn’t something you can force. In fact, the harder you try to get a woman to like you, the less attractive you will be to her.

When that girl from the above example rejected me, I could have blamed it on the line I used. But truthfully, no matter what I said, the result would have been the same. This is because attraction isn’t something you do, it’s something you are.

Of all the times I attracted a woman, not once did I attract her because of some technique I used. Every single time, I attracted her because of who I was.

There’s a saying, “The self is always shining through.” Basically, no matter how hard you try to “make a girl like you” using some tactic, it won’t work because using a technique to attract a woman is in itself a form of overcompensation.

We only use techniques because on some level we don’t believe we’re good enough by default, so we try to make up for our inadequacy with a line or a trick(1).

I can’t teach you how attract a specific girl using techniques, but I CAN teach you how to be an attractive man who naturally draws women in.

There’s no quick-fix. Becoming the most attractive version of yourself requires that you invest both time and effort in yourself. But the end result is easily worth it. Over-time - by following the 4 tips in this article - you will become exponentially more appealing to the opposite sex.

 

How To Be An Attractive Man Key 1:

Develop your Self-Confidence

 

It’s no secret that self-confidence is attractive, but what is it, really?

If asked, most people would say, “Self-confidence is belief in yourself.” And that’s true, but there’s a key component missing in that definition.

Self-confidence isn’t just belief in yourself, it’s the belief that everything will turn out okay when you attempt something.

Self-confidence doesn’t mean you expect every girl to like you, it simply means that you’re okay with the consequences of taking a risk, even if the girl doesn’t like you.

When we lack self-confidence with women, we think that rejection is the worst thing that could happen to us. That fear causes us to filter ourselves in conversation, to adopt defensive body language, and even to speak with a weaker vocal tonality.

Our inner lack of confidence causes us to behave less attractively. The more confident you become, the more attractive you will be - because you’ll stop getting in your own way.

How do you actually do that? Well, how do we become confident in anything? Take driving for example. We become confident drivers by giving our brains proof that when we take the wheel, disaster will not ensue.

Every time we drive - and we live to tell the tale - we become a little more confident in ourselves as a driver. The same applies to dating. Every time you take a social risk, and come out the other side unharmed, you will become a little bit more confident.

For example, the more women you approach, the lower the stakes will feel when you walk up to a girl, because you’ll become comfortable with the possibility of getting rejected.

What this means will vary from person to person. For many guys just starting their journey, the first step to developing self-confidence will just be getting out of the house, for others it will be something bolder.

As you develop your self-confidence, you will become more attractive to women. Fortunately, if you utilize tip 4, the process of confidence building will largely take place automatically.

The most important take-aways from this are that you can’t fake confidence, and that it will take time to develop – BUT your level of confidence is completely under your control and improving it will make you more attractive.

Further resources on how to become more confident:

-https://medium.com/@aghayden/charisma-is-the-most-appealing-quality-an-individual-can-have-6997168b8571 This article titled how to be more charismatic applies just as well to self-confidence and gives you an in-depth how to guide on letting go of your social insecurities. -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj6qhHYLeMU& This video goes into detail about the mindset of confidence with women.

 

How To Be An Attractive Man Key 2:

Develop Standards

 

The more women you’re willing to reject, the more attractive to women you will become. This is counter-intuitive, but it’s true.

If there is one thing that turns women off more than anything, it’s neediness. A guy acts needy when he is so desperate to be with a girl that no matter what she does or says, he would still sleep with her.

Neediness is suffocating. It shows that you take getting with a girl way too seriously and that you see yourself as incapable of getting another girl of her caliber if you wanted to.

Most of the guys I’ve met who have trouble attracting women (and there are many) have a problem with neediness. They see girls as a means to an end. They will happily sleep with any girl because that makes them feel like they “won”.

Men with this mindset don’t meet women to connect with another human being, but to get a sense of accomplishment from sleeping with a girl.

These guys don’t have standards for themselves. They see a hot girl as a prize to be won, so they are desperate to get her. Her personality is irrelevant. Her values are irrelevant.

When you see women as mere sex-objects, it’s impossible to have a real human interaction with them. And, naturally, a man who sees a woman as a human being is much more likely to attract her than a man who sees her as the fleshy equivalent of a gold coin.

The best way to eliminate this neediness that derives from seeing attractive women as prizes is to develop standards. Instead of being the guy who will do anything to get with the hot girl, you want to be the guy who’s interested in the hot girl but hasn’t decided if he wants to sleep with her yet.

Just like confidence, this can’t be faked. Pretending that you have standards by disqualifying a girl or negging her won’t make her see you as a high-status guy. You have to develop actual standards.

A good place to start is to make a clear list of what you won’t accept in a woman you’re considering dating (in whatever capacity). For reference, here’s a few of the things I won’t accept in a woman:

-If a girl has any kind of drug addiction, I’m out.

-If she’s unhealthily narcissistic, I’m out

-If she has a negative mindset, I’m out.

-If she is uninteresting, I’m out.

When I’m interacting with a woman, I’m screening her for the above traits. She might be a perfect ten in appearance, but if she’s narcissistic and uninteresting, I’m not going to sleep with her. To do so would be selling myself short.

The only reason I would sleep with that girl is because it would give me a sense of ego-gratification. I’d be doing it, so I could tell my friends about, not because to do so would actually be enjoyable.

In my experience, at least, sex is better when you actually like the person. Physical attraction is important, too, sure. But I’ve been with extremely beautiful women in the past who I didn’t have any chemistry with - and it was crappy.

Writing a list of the things you won’t tolerate in a potential sexual partner and rejecting women who don’t meet those standards is a powerful strategy for becoming more attractive to women. (Btw, it’s also useful to write a list of the things you do want in a partner.)

When you’re interacting with a beautiful woman and you’re willing to reject her depending on what she does and says, the entire dynamic changes. Instead of acting like a guy who would do anything to get laid, you will act like a guy who has an abundance of options.

Your non-neediness will make you infinitely more attractive than all the desperate guys pining after her. But this starts with taking a moment to write out what you want (and don’t want) in a girl you’re considering having a sexual relationship with.

 

How To Be An Attractive Man Key 3:

Improve your Appearance

 

Looks matter. The better looking you are, the higher percentage of women will make it easy for you to pick them up. At the same time, no matter how unattractive you are, some percentage of women will be attracted to you if are confident, non-needy, etc. (and that percentage is probably higher than you think).

There are two important misconceptions about looks that must be cleared up:

-Waiting to get in shape before meeting women is a silly idea. -Your looks matter, but they don’t exist in a vacuum.

A lot of guys realize that looks matter, so they decide that once they’ve got their looks “handled” they’ll start approaching women. This is problematic because it can easily turn into a form of procrastination. Your appearance is something that you can constantly improve, but you’ll never reach a particular point where you’ve “made it”. Furthermore, improving your looks won’t make game easy. I’ve seen numerous good-looking guys fail at game. These guys expect their looks to do all the work for them, but truth is you still have to be very confident and assertive to succeed with women.

The vast majority of guys don’t have the confidence necessary to take a woman home, and that’s something you can only develop through practice. Thinking you look good helps, but it’s not magically going to make you comfortable with social risk taking –(if only it were that simple).

Improve your appearance while also improving your social skills. It’s not one or the other, it’s both. Focusing on your looks while neglecting to actually interact with women is a recipe for failure.

Social skills, confidence, and physical attractiveness are all important when it comes to dating, don’t sell yourself short by improving one and neglecting the others. To do so would be as silly as learning how to shoot in basketball, but not how to dribble or pass.

That said, you can make a staggering improvement in your appearance in the course of a single day. Get a high-end salon haircut. Buy some clothes that fit well and don’t make you look like you live in your mother’s basement. Simply dressing better and having a sense of style will make you more substantially more attractive. It’s not going to make up for a lack of confidence and experience, but it’s a good start. And really, 95% of guys in the seduction community have plenty of room to improve their style.

I’m no expert on fashion, but here are a couple resources you can look at to get started with:

http://masculine-style.com/rugged-refined-and-rakish/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiAubtXLnFs

Obviously, when it comes to improving your looks, style is only half the battle. There’s no reason not to be in good shape. If you’re not already working out regularly, the easiest way to start is to go to the gym with a friend of yours who’s already in good shape.

Having a gym buddy will help keep you accountable to working out even when you don’t feel motivated. Plus, if your friend is in good shape, they’ll be able to help provide you with guidance.

If you don’t have a friend who can help you, there’s an unlimited number of fitness guides you can download. Find someone you resonate with and trust and follow their plan. If you have trouble being consistent, get a trainer to hold you accountable and provide guidance.

 

How To Be An Attractive Man Key 4:

Treat Dating Like A Skill

 

Whatever you want to accomplish in life, there are certain elements that are outside of your control. - If you want to be a doctor, a low IQ is a disadvantage that’s outside your control. - If you want to get rich, having a poor family is disadvantage that’s outside your control. - If you want to date beautiful women, factors like your height, race, etc. can be disadvantages that are outside your control.

Dating coaches who say factors like your race and height don’t matter are lying. Sure, they matter, but they’re out of your control: worrying about them is only going to hurt you.

When you tell yourself, “Girls don’t like Asians,” you’re going to see your interactions with women through that lens. If you walk up to a girl, and she rejects you, you’re going to say, “It’s because I’m Asian. If I were white that wouldn’t have happened.”

This narrative becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you’re interacting with a woman, and you expect her not to like you, you’ll act different than if you expect her to like you. Your insecurities will show up in your behavior, and when she rejects you, you’ll think, “It’s because I’m Asian.” Then you’ll become even more insecure, women will like you even less, and so on.

You can’t change your race, but you can change many of the other factors that create sexual attraction. The guy who wants to get rich but has a poor family can work twice as hard as his competition, and within a few years he can get to a point where he’s making a six-figure income.

Similarly, a short Asian guy with a below average face can succeed with women IF he works twice as hard as his competition and focuses on the factors that are under his control. His level of self-confidence is under his control, his style and fitness are under his control, and his ability to take social risks is under his control.

Look, with the above example, I said that the guy with a poor family could make six-figures, I didn’t say he can become a billionaire. Being a billionaire probably requires a certain amount of luck, the right family, being born in right time and place, the right genetics, etc.

But anyone can make six-figures with enough time and effort. The same is true in dating. If you’re naturally a four on a looks scale, I can’t promise that you’ll be able to date Victoria’s Secret models, but you can still bat way out of your league and hook up with attractive girls.

By treating dating as a skillset, you can date higher quality women than you would otherwise. If you fixate on whether you can get “perfect tens” you’re just going to cause yourself frustration.

We have these fantasies, whether it’s to be a billionaire or to sleep with “10s”. These fantasies stifle us because they’re so far outside of our reality. Worry about pulling “10s” when you can already pull “9s” easily. Treat dating like a skillset by taking it one step at a time. Don’t spend much time learning how to build attraction when you still have crippling approach anxiety.

-I know a guy who’s great at getting women attracted to him, but he always chokes by leaving the interaction before anything sexual can happen. He would massively improve his results if he focused on leading interactions forward by inviting the girl to the dance floor, to another area, etc.

-I know another guy who is great at opening girls, but he’s so quiet they don’t pay attention to him. He would gain so much by working on his volume.

-I know a third guy who is great at dating girls who aren’t particularly attractive. But he won’t even approach girls who he thinks are pretty. He’s unnecessarily limiting himself to only date women that are far worse looking than he is!

I could give countless examples like the above. No, these guys can’t change their race, but they can learn to lead interactions forward, to speak louder, or to approach more attractive women.

In dating, there countless factors that are under your control. Worrying about the things outside your control is silly when there are so many things you can proactively improve on.

Don’t think about your race, think about your confidence. Don’t think about your height, think about your inability to approach attractive women.

Treat dating as a skill, and you can improve your results dramatically. Treat it like something entirely based on your genetics, and you’ll just drown yourself in self-pity.

 

Skill Only Comes with Practice

 

The other key to treating dating like a skill, is to practice. If you spent 5 hours a week reading about how to pass a basketball, but never went out and played the game, people would think you’re an idiot.

Yet it’s common for guys to spend dozens- if not hundreds - of hours learning about how to attract women, without going out into the world and practicing. Intellectual learning is only useful if you’re spending most of your time in the real world getting real feedback.

Imagining what a good basketball shot looks like is completely different from taking the actual shot. Similarly, imagining what a good approach looks like is completely different from doing the approach. Information is only helpful to provide some guidance, it can’t do the work for you. Only real practice can.

It’s a lot easier to read about picking up women than it is to actually do it. I know this as well as anyone. When I first learned about the seduction community, I spent over a year watching videos without doing a single approach. Was it helpful? No. If anything, my social skills got worse because I became so overanalytical. Learning how to attract women without practicing is just as absurd as trying to learn any other skill without practicing.

Treating dating like a skillset is difficult. It takes patience, time, and effort to do so. Here are some resources that can help you if you get stuck:

This books both give you a step-by-step strategy for going out, meeting women, and developing your pickup skillset:

-https://www.amazon.com/Trial-Transform-Dating-Eight-Weeks-ebook/dp/B06XV14VDN/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1521851329&sr=1-3&keywords=real+social+dynamics.

 

Conclusion: How To Be An Attractive Man

 

There you have it, how to be an attractive man. Any of the four tips can change your life individually, but master all four and you won’t believe the successes you’ll have.

Reading is how to do this is the easy part, becoming more attractive to women is a long-term process. Remember, anyone who tells you it’s going to be easy - that you can use some “hack” to succeed with women – is more interested in making money than in helping you improve.

Changing your life is hard, but what’s the alternative? Approaching women can be painful, but not nearly as painful as it would be to settle for a woman you’re not happy with because “she was the best you could get” (which is what the majority of men end up doing).

Fortunately, most of the factors that make a man attractive to women are under your control. If you’re willing to treat dating like a skill, you can master it.

References:

  1. This isn’t to say you should NEVER use a technique. They can be useful to get a feel for a principle of social dynamics that you don’t naturally utilize. For example, if you’re a nice guy, it could be useful to practice using some push-pull to get a feel for what being polarizing means and to get comfortable with being less agreeable. The technique isn’t going to attract women on its own, but it might help you get over your insecurities/limiting beliefs.

[–]BobbyPeru 381 points382 points  (11 children)

If you spent 5 hours a week reading about how to pass a basketball, but never went out and played the game, people would think you’re an idiot.

This is a great analogy. The only way to get better is to practice. Don’t hesitate- just do it.

[–]evergonitenitenigga 46 points47 points  (0 children)

reminds me of a something i read in a Bruce Lee book and im paraphrasing; 'if you want to learn how to swim, get in the pool'

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]nowyougotdryballs 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Man, he schooled the shit outta that kid. It was at that point he realized he knew nothing...

    [–]KekistanRefugee 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    One of the few movies that made me cry like a bitch at the end.

    [–]Brudesandwich 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    I've said this plenty of times on here and get shitted on lol. You have to think of it as all a game of basketball. Not every player has the same way of playing basketball. Some are shooters, some playmakers/passers, others are laid back while others are aggressive. Trick is finding out which style fits you and works best for you. I've realized I'm not good at the upfront approach, I am better at taking my time and building up.

    [–]derpderp5000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Agreed. Find what works for you and make it your game. Don't be afraid to try new methods and grow but always "do you".

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That sentence describes a lot of users on here.

    [–]pohlrich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is because attraction isn’t something you do, it’s something you are.

    dont practice at attractive, be attractive! thats the difference in 'do' and 'are'.

    [–]kolluminko 148 points149 points  (6 children)

    devloping standards instead of hunting for ego-gratification really is the transition from boy to man in my opinion. this goes even way beyond sex. once you live your life by your standards, you are truly free.

    [–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (4 children)

    Yeah but a lot of guys mistake this for being egotistical based upon nothing. Standards should be born of a realisation of your self worth defined through the painful effort of study & lifting. When you are keenly aware of the exertion you've made to build yourself into someone valuable you will inherently dismiss partners who don't match to that level of effort you have made. If you just expect the world to fall at your feet with 0 effort made you end up like Elliot Rodger.

    [–]KekistanRefugee 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    Elliot Rodger could’ve been such a fucking Chad. He’s the perfect example of an Incel with immense amounts of untapped potential. It should be noted that he was borderline psychopathic too though. His manifesto talking about how he would go to places with attractive chicks and just wait for them to approach him.

    Not how the world works.

    [–]drkinferno72 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Shit he had a decent face, had he lifted a bit longer than two weeks he could've gotten out of scrawny hell

    [–]Mr-Kabuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What made him a potential chad?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Not just studying and lifting....do something you could fail at

    [–]mypasswordismud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I know the upvote is to show agreement or approval, but I just gotta say that this is extremely dead on.

    [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (7 children)

    Covered the bases, well articulated. glad you took the time to post this.

    [–]_TheAfroNinja_ 41 points42 points  (53 children)

    I just have a problem starting a conversation. I'm a very poor conversationalist. It's almost like a curse or a disability. Any remedy for that? Lol

    [–]lorum_ipsum_dolor 113 points114 points  (4 children)

    Dale Carnegie Golden Rule 4:

    Become genuinely interested in other people.

    [–]ThePhilaDood 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    This is the most underrated rule.

    I still find people only talking about themselves when trying to hit on a girl and they wonder why they haven't been laid in months.

    [–]moltenw 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    How is "Genuinely" being interested in other people the same as asking others about their lives instead of telling about yours?

    I tend to mostly talk about the other person and not myself, but that doesn't mean it's genuine. Like, I listen, can even have a good convo...but was it because I was genuinely interested in them? Most of the time, it wasn't - it was just a way to start a conversation.

    [–]ThePhilaDood 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Genuine: If you actually give a fuck about what is coming out of the other person's mouth.

    [–]truecrisis 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Except don't be interested as if you are interviewing them. Learn to cold read: eg: "you look like a girl who likes animals :)" instead of "do you like animals?"

    [–]42-AX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Context is the best answer. For example I approached today asking “How’s Easter going?” or for the working ladies “Boring way to spend Easter”.

    Weak context? Just introduce yourself then ask basic questions. “Hi, I’m 42-AX. Just wanted to say hi.” - They introduce themselves - I make a comment about their name if it’s foreign, their appearance, their accent...so on so forth. It helps to become interested in them.

    [–]kolluminko 11 points12 points  (17 children)

    there is this question technique, 5 letters abbreviation (dreams,....) maybe someone can chime in and help

    [–]DayGameChirality 39 points40 points  (12 children)

    Also avoid RAPE

    IIRC: Religion Abortion Politics Ethics(?)

    [–]OutrageousCelery 91 points92 points  (6 children)

    Should probably also avoid rape as well.

    [–]1empatheticapathetic 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Rape doesn't mean what it used to mean boyo

    [–]LOLMUFFINLOL 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Bill Cosby touched my doodle

    [–]Gearski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What? But it's my go-to escalation! It always polarizes!!

    [–]phoenix_nz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Ive seen the E used as Evolution (but this is close to Religion) and more commonly Economics

    [–]JuiceTen44 53 points54 points  (3 children)

    F.O.R.D

    F. Family

    O. Occupation

    R. Recreation

    D. Dreams

    [–]ChinmayT2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    We should be talking about this, right ?

    [–]Z1llard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I myself also suck at making coversation. The suggestions above is gold. Thanks guys

    [–]__ZAZA__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Treat it as a skill. The more you try the better you get. And try to start conversations with any people, not just women.

    [–]xyals 8 points9 points  (8 children)

    Maybe start small by asking for the time or directions. Do that a lot with all different kinds of strangers and then try to make a conversation out of it.

    "Hey, you have the time? 3:14, cool. By the way is that the new iPhone? What made you get it?"

    If you do that over and over it won't be very difficult to make small talk with people. Then go from there to more socially risky interactions. I would recommend compliments without any follow up or expectations as a next step. Etc

    [–]thisishowiwrite 5 points6 points  (7 children)

    Asking the time is good. But starting with a common factor is better. "These buses are either 5 minutes early or 5 minutes late", "the best thing about this grocery store is the self-checkout - I can get out of here as fast as possible", "the DJ is great but he'd be better if he knew how to be a DJ".

    When you have a real common factor, like a reason for being at a party or networking event, it's even easier.

    [–]BurnieSlander 11 points12 points  (6 children)

    Asking the time are you serious? That’s about the least creative thing I’ve ever heard. Maybe works on 5s/6s but 7s/8s/9s are going to sniff that bullshit quick: “Do you not have a phone?”

    What are you going to say then? “Uhhh no I’m poor.. so hey can I get your number i’ll call you from the pay phone near the homeless shelter I live at”.

    The fuck.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [removed]

      [–]BurnieSlander 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      Using looks to get through life, just like a hot girl with no real value.

      I’ll stick to being interesting.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [removed]

        [–]BurnieSlander 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        Says the guy who is active on Incel subs and has -18 karma.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It died with Jesus. Try to keep up.

          [–]GeorgeBushIV 4 points5 points  (3 children)

          Observe and find some sort of mutual grounds to break the ice. Maybe you're at the bar and there's a game on. You notice a girl next to you wearing a game jersey. You could make fun of her team and be like, "wow so and so isn't very good" with a cheeky smile. Shell prolly respond. Gauge her interest and move forward. You could say something else about the game and then ask if she's from said team and begin to get a little personal.

          I mountain bike. It's really easy to break the ice because I'll say something about their bike or about the trails and then ask if they're local or not. Having mutual hobby helps a ton. It's also a plus because not a lot of mtbers lift ;)

          Or a simple "hi, how are you" will go a far way too. If they find you physically attractive they will engage and continue the conversation.

          All in all, it takes practice.

          [–]_TheAfroNinja_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Definitely helpful information. Thank you

          [–]ameriveaux 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Don’t buy roosh ‘s bullshit ass book. He’s been outed paying for sex then writing like he seduces girls and shit. Stick to normal conversational improvement books.

          [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Let him judge for himself whether he finds any value in it

          [–]Greek-God-Brody 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Dude, just go out and socialize. It's not something you will just magically become good at. So go out there and suck up the akwward conversation and approaches. There will be a point where it won't be awkward anymore.

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          A lot of awkward practice. The fastest way to improve would be to do daygame and record the audio. You can do this without risking getting caught by plugging headphones into your phone that have a mic and laying them over your shirt (like people do after working out)

          Approach some women, have awkward conversations, and then listen to the audio and analyze what you could do differently.

          Another thing that can help is just watching 1hr comedy specials, it'll help you understand the nuances of humor and storytelling. BUT be careful not to use this as an excuse to not practice in the real world.

          You can also do open mic standup/join toastmasters both will force you out of your comfort zone and make you improve your communication abilities.

          [–]d0lphinsex 2 points3 points  (10 children)

          Google:

          "how to influence and win friends pdf"

          "day bang by roosh v pdf"

          [–]calicotrinket 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          Agreed. Carnegie's book is amazing and goes so much further than "improving ability to pick up girls".

          [–]ruff21 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Agreed. Just bought How to Win Freinds and Influence People and a bunch of other TRP essentials.

          Even for someone who’s already fairly solid in social interactions...I’m finding gems in Carnegie’s first few chapters and seeing that there’s always plenty of room for improvement.

          Really eager to digest this stuff and start implementing it daily.

          [–]comcain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Carnegie's book is an all time best seller for a good reason. Filled with practical and tested advice. Recommend it highly.

          [–]SteveStJohn -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

          [–]IvanTheCracka 18 points19 points  (4 children)

          a true alpha behaves like a gypsy and does whatever he wants

          [–]Dls95405 3 points4 points  (3 children)

          To live outside the law, you must be honest. ~Mark Twain

          [–]IvanTheCracka 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          you think gypsyes ever read a fucking book?

          [–]Dls95405 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Doing 'whatever you want' is the impossible fantasy of a child, and you completely missed the Twain reference.

          [–]theycallmenubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Lol at the downvotes and people condoning theft. A true "alpha male" steals a $10 book because he can't afford it? Even if the book is shit, theft is theft.

          [–]NotMyBestEffort 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Your question was wrapped in negative thinking. Almost a curse or disability, and Lol frame your question with doubts. Like there is no hope before you make any effort or even hear possible improvements that mat be offered

          [–]DocSword 24 points25 points  (8 children)

          Legit question, why is getting laid worth all this time and effort? Like don’t get me wrong I put in some ground work but I don’t let it be the focal point of my existence. Ironically all of this mostly paints a picture of desperation.

          [–]originaltransvaginal 8 points9 points  (4 children)

          He simply used getting laid as the framework around which he could explain to you where to properly focus your attention.

          Having a frame of mind where you cannot be emotionally destroyed by the things others, especially women, say is beneficial in many ways. One just so happens to be attractiveness.

          Understanding the rational of the SMV and the probability of any one person being the golden calf you worship will bring about a mindset which allows for an abundance mentality. Theres that Zen quote about a cup, "One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. And I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious." This sort of attitude is awesome to embody or be in the presence of. A person who lives like this will be interesting to others, while benefiting in ways that aren't superficial.

          Getting laid is just what gets your attention. What he's driving at is making you the greatest you you can be. It seems to be exactly in line with what you're positing.

          [–]DocSword 5 points6 points  (3 children)

          Intent plays a heavy hand in self improvement. I feel that anybody who is gonna try and change themselves for a physical and temporary pleasure is going to be making hollow and superficial alterations.

          [–]originaltransvaginal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          We're in agreeance. Why do you think anyone is suggesting one do this for physical & temporary pleasure? I know I would argue that they have missed the point.

          The issue would be, can the majority of users filter that message from this post? I think it was a good attempt.

          [–]p_and_q 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Only if that person's intention never changes. Personally I started my self improvement journey because l wanted to get laid. This was before I knew of TRP so the basic logic was, "I'm fat and unattractive. Attractive girls are more attracted to attractive guys. If I want to have sex with an attractive girl, I need to become an attractive guy". That helped pull the HB8 that broke me into finding TRP. Now my intent is to just improve myself. You can go a long way even with week intent.

          [–]reddzeppelin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          is getting laid the point of life? no, not modern life anways. is kung fu, great energy applied to a goal something that makes life worth living? Yes because it can be built up and applied to any end. I went from not getting laid to, ive taken a nap in my own bed while a woman who drank my cum and had sex with me the night before slept in another bed. Younger me would have fucked her till she didnt want any more. Part of this is not having 20 year old fitness sure, but I am not out of shape I simply build up my strength to put it to greater use. This would result it making it easier to find a LTR ( teasing from her perspective) but ironically I want that less now.

          [–]PanderjitSingh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It paints a picture of desperation if you don’t need guidance.

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Sex isn't the most important thing in life, but for most people, it's up there. Besides, being the most attractive version of yourself is not just about sex, it's also about the quality of woman you can have a family with too. Imagine how different your life will be if you end up having kids with an average woman versus having kids with your ideal.

          No one is saying this should be the main focus of your life, but it's an important part of any man's life and is therefore worth improving (unless he just plays video games and masturbates).

          [–]msitkued 12 points13 points  (7 children)

          Quick question. Is this a repost? I feel like I've read this before. Or did I just Deja Vu hard?

          [–]Darth_Antonius 58 points59 points  (1 child)

          It's not a repost, it's just beating a dead horse. After you've been here a while, you realize that a lot of posts here are about the same core group of subjects.

          [–]redleader95 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Deja Vu is caused by a glitch in the Matrix...

          [–]Charmingaxelotl 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          This was posted like 5 days ago

          [–]RonieGarret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Same feeling here. I bet huge parts were taken from "Models" of Mark Manson.

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's in /r seduction as well

          [–]1redpilldick 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          This is an excellent post. I had another human being see me naked for the first time a few weeks ago. I wanted to fuck her just to get it over with and lose my virginity. She was fat and narcissistic and I'm about 75% sure she had a yeast infection. I was repulsed, told her I didn't feel good, and ghosted her completely. I am never disrespecting myself like that again for settling for someone that "seems" near my league.

          Have 2nd dates with a HB7, HB8, and a 1st date with an HB8 this week. After seeing how gross a girl can be, I realized all women are nearly the same and no longer place them on a pedestal. Never drop your standards.

          22 years old and this has been the best year of my life.

          [–]Mr-Kabuki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Are you new to TRP? If you’re seeing improvement consider making a field report.

          [–]notonlyplace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          These guys don’t have standards for themselves. They see a hot girl as a prize to be won, so they are desperate to get her. Her personality is irrelevant. Her values are irrelevant.

          No this isn't true, this is game shaming, since nice guys don't get girls we need to polarize them into the bad category.

          They don't have standards because they are desperate, which is the logical thing to do, they see her as they were biological design to do, someone to love, and have babies with. Guys who can't get girls aren't psychopaths

          I met girls who didn't get sex either, they had 0 self confidence, so they accepted anything, now here is the thing, they wanted the best they could get, if a guy had a good personality that is a plus, but if he had a bad personality it didn't matter.

          There’s no quick-fix. Becoming the most attractive version of yourself requires that you invest both time and effort in yourself.

          There is nothing broken, men don't need fixing, unless you are 400 pounds over weight, or half your face is blown off, focus on being yourself, not the best version of yourself.

          Writing a list of the things you won’t tolerate in a potential sexual partner and rejecting women who don’t meet those standards is a powerful strategy for becoming more attractive to women.

          100% true, but this is a trick , if you had standards you wouldn't need to write them down, or to be aware of them, they are subconscious.

          You have to develop actual standards.

          You develop standards by having excess, you can't develop standards until you can get laid with ease. Which is why you fake it until you make it. Don't text her back if she ignores you, make a move, assume attraction, after a while you will see what you like and don't like.

          This is because attraction isn’t something you do, it’s something you are.

          No it's something you do, and something you are, for example if men are told it's rude to kiss a girl without asking, they will ask to kiss, turn the girl off and wonder what is wrong with them.

          Game is simply telling a man that girls like to be kiss without asking.

          When you see women as mere sex-objects, it’s impossible to have a real human interaction with them.

          You can never see women as a sex-object and if you do it's subconscious and perfectly ok , sex-object is a term that is not well defined. In fact I think most guys problem is they try and overcompensate at this point.

          Hey there is a hot girl, I want to fuck her, but I don't care about her, for morality reason I have to prove I care for her by buying her dinner. Truth is you can never care for someone without spending time with them and this happens naturally.

          You don't put into your head how you feel about women, you just feel

          You have to develop actual standards.

          You develop standards by having excess, you can't develop standards until you can get laid with ease.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          [–]Hailteni NaHalitenina[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Done.

          [–]AlterUltraEgo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          These same points can be applied to many areas of life as well. For instance, have some standards when it comes to your male friends as well. Don't put up with stupid shit, regardless of the source.

          [–]Coasteast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          You can have excuses or results, but not both.

          [–]SnickeringBear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          OP gave a lousy post for redpill. I don't say this lightly and I am prepared to back up the statement. He got some things right and a few things wrong and omitted many that are important. Here is why.

          He did NOT ask a woman what she finds attractive. How can an argument be made re what is or is not attractive without actually asking the question of the only people who matter. If he did not ask women, how can he say what women do or do not find attractive. More important, when can one factor be replaced with another?

          "A man must be good looking." This is composed of many parts such as facial features, physical condition, how he is groomed, how he is dressed, and how he behaves. Lets break those down a bit.

          Facial features count for quite a bit, but one of the ugliest men I know is fantastically attractive to women because he is in unbelievable physical condition, always well groomed and dressed, and he has a very cordial attitude that women love. He favors a beard because that helps with modifying facial features a bit. How do you account for a guy who got the losing end of the stick for looks, yet dates 9's and 10's? What about physical condition? Turns out this is more important than facial features. If you don't believe it, ask a woman what it feels like to be picked up and carried to bed.

          I used to dress in blue jeans and decent pull over shirts. This never seemed like a bad idea to me until I watched a few guys who were more successful with women than me. They also dressed in jeans and shirts, but theirs were new, mostly button up shirts, and their shoes were expensive and well chosen for the clothing. They did not hesitate to wear shorts when appropriate and they were totally comfortable in a business suit and tie. Being well groomed goes with the clothing. A stylish hair cut with neck trimmed and beard appropriately managed is the icing on the cake. One of those things that goes with this is to smell attractive. BO is a huge turnoff. On the other hand, some smells are very attractive to women. I found out by accident that the smell of smoke from pine straw or just the smell of wood smoke - so long as it is not overwhelming - is attractive to some women. The key here is the ability to dress and groom for the occasion and to smell attractive.

          Behavior can mostly be summed up as self-confidence. A man who is not self-confident can tick all the boxes but fail the attractiveness test with women. Ability to make conversation goes hand in hand with self-confidence. How can a man hold a conversation on a topic unless he knows something about it? More important is knowing when to stay quiet. I could add a ton more to this but lets get on with some other things. BE SELF-CONFIDENT! It matters.

          Must have money. I know this is out of the ability of many of us to control, but it should be near the top of the list for things a woman finds attractive. Women want access to the things money can bring including nice things to buy, places to go, and experiences that are only available when a man has money. If you want to turn off an attractive woman in a hurry, suggest that something can't be done because you are broke. This is actually not as important as it might seem, especially for an otherwise attractive man. On the other hand, a man who is loaded can easily find women regardless of his looks.

          Drive a nice car. This is a pure numeric scale. A rust bucket truck has a certain allure, especially for taking trips to places cars can't go so give it a 2. A clean 3 or 4 year old 4 door sedan will get you maybe a 3. A shiny new expensive truck or car will get you a 5. A Dodge Charger or similar will take you to 7, Corvette to 8, and an expensive car like a Lamborghini or similar will rate a 10. The key here is that the vehicle you have is what it is so make the most of it because other items tick more boxes than the vehicle.

          Do interesting things. I asked a woman why women go for "bad guys". She immediately replied "Because they are fun!" She didn't say "they are exciting" or "they are interesting". She said "they are fun"! Think very hard about this because it embodies one of the key concepts of redpill. If you do nothing else, make a point of doing things that are "fun". Does not matter if it is surfing, skiing, boating, biking, or traveling so long as it is perceived as "fun" it will dramatically improve your attractiveness.

          So what about other things women find attractive? Height, deep voice, sense of humor, social value and connectedness, and leadership all have a part to play. I'll leave this for someone else to develop or perhaps just to post a few links to sidebar items or previous threads.

          How am I able to post these bits of trivia about what women find attractive? Because I took time to ask a woman or 3 or 10. Each time I got an answer, I carefully studied it to see if the words fit the actions. Many times I was told one thing but the actions did not fit the words. As an example, one woman held that a "wise" man is attractive. Her actions put the lie to that one.

          The above is from a LOT of time spent finding out so I could improve myself. Now have fun tearing into this post and showing how it can be improved.

          Edit: thought of one thing to add. Don't brag about yourself. This causes no end of trouble. I dated a highly intelligent woman for a while. If I had bragged about my intelligence, she would have downgraded me immediately. Instead, she got to find out over time that my intelligence does not take a back seat to hers.

          [–]kkri3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Another thing worth mentioning that a skill requires regular practice. Going out once a month and asking out every girl you see won't result in noticable changes in your game. In comparison, approaching a single girl every day for a year will change you drastically.

          [–]Kniit 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          On a date you're supposed to kino, escalate, build sexual tension, stare at her lips ect. If you're touching a girl shes going to know you're interested to some degree, it would be impossible to also keep the mentality that you haven't decided if you want to sleep with her yet. Is Step 2 (neediness) supposed apply before you ask her out to a date?

          I guess what I'm trying to ask is under what circumstance are we supposed to escalate and build tension or sit back and probe for green flags.

          [–]Lest23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          You can ask a girl on a date without sounding needy. Treat dates like the girl’s opportunity to showcase why she should be with you, a bit like an interview. A “show me what you got” mentality.

          Probe for green and red flags and once you have concluded she’s up to your standards you can apply kino etc and essentially communicate you want to escalate the situation.

          [–]mileryenman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          As someone who has been trying my best to improve the parts of my life not including going out and actually trying to pull women, this post has laid it out in an awesome and informatove way that i can understand and really relate a lot to recovery and the 12 steps. This is a post i would think will make it to the sidebar. Thank you OP

          [–]TheOneWhoDidntCum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          "what you need will come to you, what you want you have to go after"

          [–]ubermensch100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          The best advice for some guys here is to quit reddit entirely for a couple months and just do some hardcore approaching.

          [–]ComfortableBowl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I'll change the wording of this

          Self-confidence isn’t just belief in yourself, it’s the belief that everything will turn out okay when you attempt something.

          To this

          Self-confidence isn’t just belief in yourself, it’s the belief that everything will eventually turn out okay when you attempt something.

          I think the second one gives room for error. That you readjust until you get what you want.

          The more women you’re willing to reject, the more attractive to women you will become. This is counter-intuitive, but it’s true.

          The pitfall here is rejecting everything. Girls will think you're just shy, lack confidence or you're jaded with women in general. But if you show that you can have women around they will serve as evidence that you are the one doing the filtering, not them.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          [–]Redasshole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I highly suggest you check out a youtube channel called FACEandLMS.

          [–]Hormander 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Great article. Very informative. Thanks.

          [–]Jonasena 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Your entire paragraph regarding "developing standards" are wrong and not really redpilled. In fact it will hinder many guys progress by giving them an excuse to rationalize themselves out of approaching or escalating with a girl that would otherwise make a fine plate/ons and further cement your self-confidence and therefore your smv.

          [–]Sabo88 1 point2 points  (4 children)

          She might be a perfect ten in appearance, but if she’s narcissistic and uninteresting, I’m not going to sleep with her. To do so would be selling myself short

          What?

          Sorry, but what if I JUST want to sleep with said girl. Like....one night stand or while we stick at the same hostel on a trip?

          Am I lowering my standards because I didn't really "like" her personality but find her body fuckin bangin?

          Thanks for the post, I agree with about 95% of it. Good stuff.

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          It depends on your personal values. If to you what matters is fucking a hot girl - and you genuinely don't care about who she is as a person, that's fine.

          For you, the red flags would probably be about her appearance more than her personality. If you don't have any standards, then you're probably going to end up hooking up with the least attractive girls (because it's easy to do so).

          Have some standards, but what those standards are specifically depends on what you're looking for from women.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Found that odd too. If she’s hot and DTF I really don’t care about her personality for a ONS or maybe even a plate.

          [–]Sabo88 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          don’t care about her personality for a ONS or maybe even a plate.

          Right?

          I was getting my head there for a second......which doesn't help with rule #1!!! lolol.

          Really though, the way I was reading that was "If you're only looking to pick up chicks to bang em, grow the fuck up"

          What if I don't want a relationship?

          I'll answer my own question.....bang her out.

          [–]Dextorian 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I see so many people say “You need money” couldn’t disagree anymore! It does help in social circles and nights out! But why the fuck would you flaunt this for a woman to try and leech off? Doesn’t matter how fat your wallet is it’s how you make her feel!

          [–]Lest23 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          In that sense it’s bad but money usually comes with: -Skill -Intelligence -Drive -Ambition

          Etc etc. These traits are favourable we can agree? They’re logically associated to money. She can try to leech it off your wallet but ultimately it’s up to you whether you let her.

          [–]Dextorian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Couldn’t agree more! It certainly does help, you’d just screen her to see if she is a leech or actually with you for you opposed to the size of your wallet

          [–]NotAThrowAway5678910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Very eye opening post thank you, I will return to review your references on style and confidence.

          [–]Redpillandrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Notice these useful tips are for the most part inner game/frame tips.

          And I wouldn't call them tips, it's not quickfix material. It's all true, it has to be lived by and embodied, no way to fake it

          [–]drkinferno72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Be attractive Don't be unattractive

          [–]motzart73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Agree with those red flags.. Even if she is a 10 I'm out

          [–]ClipClamp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          All really good points but point 2 really stuck out for me. Having certain standards is the same as respecting yourself and your time. Time is the most precious commodity and there's no purpose in spending time on those that can't meet your standards whether it's loyalty, intelligence, attractiveness etc.

          [–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          The thread is good, but there's some flaws in the opening that it doesn't address.

          After hours of research, I had found what I thought to be the perfect pickup line. I walked up to a beautiful girl and said, “Hey, I thought you were cute, and I had to say hi.” She smiled, said thank you, and we talked for a couple minutes until she paused and said, “It was nice to meet you,” and walked away. I never saw her again.

          Are you spiking their emotions? Do you initiate physical contact to see how they respond? Are you leading the conversation by sprinkling in reasons to meet up again at a later time/another day?

          Your very opener is also bereft of a key element: the justification. Tacking one on can help immensely. Instead try this next time:

          “Hey, I thought you were cute, and I had to say hi...or I'd be kicking myself all afternoon.

          That last bit is the justification. It doesn't have to make sense and can even be a nonsequitor. Say you're on a train and want to sit down, asking people if you could have their seat is often denied, but adding on a justification no matter how relevant it may not be still increases the odds of compliance (h/t Stanley Milgram)...

          "Hi, do you might if I have that seat, I've had a sore throat all day."

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It was just an example of an opener I used in the past. I don't use that particular line anymore.

          I would argue that her being cute is the justification. If you reword it, "I had to say hi because I thought you were cute" you can see how that works.

          [–]Alpha_Jedi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Nice post, thank you for sharing. Cheers.

          [–]polymine7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          very wisely put, how old are you my man?

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thanks. Not sure why you'd want to know that haha but I'm 27

          [–]charm3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Very well put post esp things like race/other stuff matters but not something you can control. Gives a more realistic/practical view ..Kudos 👍🏾

          [–]R41nmaker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Wow man good stuff. The comments here are very helpful too. Thank you all!

          [–]wutaboutthetwinky 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Good article. I'm saving this advice for my son.

          [–]reddishworm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Really good post. The message is not the be your autistic repulsive self but rather to develop standards that are true to your self.

          Reminds me of a quote by Will Smith:

          Make a choice. Just decide. What it's gonna be, who you're gonna be, how you're gonna do it. Just decide.

          In the past I would suck a pussy that tasted like piss because of my desperation. I didn't give a fuck if her ass smelled like horseshit because of my desperation.

          Alot of bitches around that are subpar. Never again.

          [–]Chlebasesadlem -1 points0 points  (7 children)

          And can you also tell how to be an attractive woman? :D Or why am I being attractive to those I dont find desirable?

          [–]1Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Although most people would disagree with me, a lot of this is the same. I know most people say for women it's all about looks, but I've seen plenty of average looking girls end up with much better looking guys.

          If a woman is confident, fun to be around, etc. she can attract high quality guys.

          At the same time, working on your appearance helps (a lot) obviously, but it's not everything.

          Besides, a lot of physical appearance is under your control, the girls you see at the clubs who are "10s" are really "8s" who have done a good job maximizing their appearance (makeup/high-heels/etc.) As long as you're in good shape, you can do a lot to make yourself very physically attractive as a woman - if you're not in good shape, that's the first thing you'd want to work on.

          Why do you attract guys who don't find you desirable? That's just human psychology - we want what we can't have. If a guy is attracted to you who you're not interested in - be upfront with him, it's awkward to say, but it will save you and him a lot of trouble.

          [–]Iwannachokekatie 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          1 Buď hezká

          2 Nebuď hnusná

          [–]Chlebasesadlem 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          Why are you typing in czech tho?

          [–]Iwannachokekatie -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          Aby se ti to líp chápalo. Být atraktivní ženská je dost jednoduchý. Možná ne snadný, ale určitě jednoduchý.

          Stačí když nebudeš tlustá a budeš příjemná. Když se holka o sebe stará, nemusí mít ksicht jak z obrázku a stejně se mi bude dost líbít.

          Chápu, že ti není příjemný, když se o tebe snaží někdo, kdo se ti vůbec nelíbí, ale s tím se musíš holt vyrovnat. Taky by stálo za to, zapřemýšlet nad tím, jestli toho po chlapech nechceš až moc. Nežiješ v pohádce, nepolezou za tebou modelové s velkýma ptákama a miliónama na kontě.

          Taky zkus redpillwomen subreddit

          [–]levelboss -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          For me being lean gives me immense amounts of confidence because i look really good and athletic and my facial features are a LOT more defined and chiseled which makes me more attractive along with knowing this and the confidence it gives me, and also im a bit alternative, piercings, some tats, dope clothing and well i’m 196 (6’5) makes me very recognisable and makes me stand out

          Also at parties i love to dance and will dance my ass off properly on the beat which makes girls want to dance with me and in many cases i dont even need to approach them because being tall is the ultimate icebreaker

          When a girl is eyeing me and dances with me and starts a conversation by asking how tall i am or whatever variant i know ive got a possible hit

          [–]levelboss -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          My point being , get lean, dress stylish , learn how to dance and it gives you an edge on all the nobodies on the dancefloor because all eyes are on you

          [–]TruthSeekaaaaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          In the YouTube Alex Costa's video, Zorrata is mentioned as a accessory provider. However imo, are wayyyy too expensive and probably you can get the same results with 1/10 of the price. However I don't know any cheaper sites, can you give me some?

          [–]MGTOWManofMystery -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          General Electric had a film about this back in the day:

          http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sexual-harassment/2751966?snl=1

          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Lotsa long lists with much to do. Let me give you a quick short cut, a cheat code if you will: look down on them. https://media.giphy.com/media/Nknkh1jci39cI/giphy.gif

          [–]mr_wiffles -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

          Fantastic post bro. Thank you for this.

          I want to go into some medical facts about anxiety to help some bros out there. When this post mentions that the more you take social risks and come out unharmed your confidence improves, that's correct for most people but not all of us. Some of us cannot rationally, normally build our confidence this way. In fact, to some of us, the more we take these risks and come out unscathed, the WORSE our confidence gets.

          This is an example of a person with a real psychiatric anxiety disorder. Either through years of social torment or abnormal neurochemistry, this person literally cannot learn to have less fear in these situations. It is literally beyond their control, no matter how hard they work or how many times they take social risks.

          These people should see a qualified psychiatrist for medical help. (Not a therapist - that's a psychologist; psychiatrists can prescribe drugs to help when therapy can't.)

          Don't start with drugs. Exhaust all other methods you can to build your confidence first, but if all else fails, get medical help. You'd be shocked at how effective some of these medications are.

          [–]polyspastos -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          Fuck medications and their x11k profit margins. Happy they'd helped you tho

          [–]mr_wiffles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          No, fuck stupidity. Some people need medical help, period. This is a demon durable and proven fact of human neurology.

          [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

          I think people in the red pill sub over complicate on how to be attractive to women. From where I'm from, all you need to get pussy is to be either tall, good looking, have social status (popular in your local social circle) and have a fat wallet. These are the key ingredients fellas but are the most hardest to change or the just impossible to improve on. Yeah you could improve your finances but sex will never be authentic attraction from a woman as you'll just be beta bux.