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Honest Observations after 8 years in the game (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by red_rover_red_rover

Hey guys...here to help

I have been in the game or "red-pilled" for 8 years now.

I was a virgin going into college and read "the game" and a ebook about college game on the internet. Forget the name.

Anyways I got laid here and there but struggled with women throughout college and was generally awkward and socially unaware.

I think the turning point for me was about a year after college, since then I've slept with over 100 women some were gorgeous and some were complete dogs and I don't say that lightly. Had a few relationships along the way as well.

Anyways, enough about me - here are some simple tips I think would help out a lot of you in there.

  1. Women are not inherently evil. It's not their fault.

They are fundamentally different than us. Their brain has a different chemistry, and it's not their fault. They are the more vulnerable sex, and their brains have evolved to maximize their ability to survive and reproduce.

They will always look for a man who provides them with status, safety, and security, while secretly or overtly desiring the alpha male - I don't think I need to explain what an alpha male is on here.

There will always be someone better looking, braver, manlier, more successful, wealthier, or better looking than you. Accept that if your wife or girlfriend encounters this man she will be extremely attracted and her instincts will scream at her to sleep with him.

Once you accept this fact, and come to peace with it - you will have a much healthier appreciation for women and most importantly an inner peace.

  1. Every woman is different, Every woman is the same.

Don't treat a girl like a robot. They are human beings. They are extremely different in their interests, goals, passions, desires, idiosyncrasies, etc.

However, much like we are all attracted to a beautiful face with perky tits, a tight ass, and a nice body (for the most part), just about every girl craves an alpha male, whether they admit it or not.

From the moment you first lock eyes she is testing you.

If you think you have her in the bag and let your guard down, she will notice, and will treat you accordingly.

"The game" is never over, it's always on. Women constantly test us to figure out who we really are, in order to differentiate the real you from the person you outwardly present yourself to be.

Even after you have proven yourself to her, she will constantly "test" you to make sure you are still that guy, and haven't lost your edge. (This applies more to long-term relationships than one night stands)

  1. Judge her by her actions, not her words

Do not hold a woman to the same level of honor as a man and do not expect her to keep her word. A woman lives and dies by her emotions. She may say "I love you" on Tuesday, and feel completely different on Saturday night, depending on your behavior and her emotional state.

Take what she says with caution, many times she is simply trying to illicit a response or manipulating you into doing something that is favorable to her and detrimental to you.

Women are masters of emotion. If you succumb or react to her getting angry, upset, or vindictive, she will subconsciously sense weakness and question your ability to provide for and protect her. Remember, this is not her fault, she is usually not consciously aware or trying to do this to you, it's merely instinct.

  1. Do not swim against the tide.

Make things as easy as possible for yourself. It is true that there are exceptions to the rule, however why make success with women an uphill battle, sport, or egotistical endeavor?

If you are 5'4 you will be most successful with shorter women.

If you are just starting out and don't have much experience, go for the cute girl taking shots with her friends at the edge of the bar instead of the supermodel sitting with her posse in bottle service.

6's and 7's can often be a lot more fun to hang out with and sleep with than perfect 10's. In fact, they usually are. The hottest girls are often not worth the headache.

Have good grooming, work out, dress nice, and take pride in your appearance. There is such a thing as trying too hard, and I think we all know what that looks like, don't be that guy. On the flipside, there are plenty of out of shape assholes who smell like whiskey and dress like shit - and still get laid, but the chances are if you are reading this you are probably not that guy.

Try to drive a nice car, have a nice place and have a decent job - that doesn't mean you should flaunt it or use it as a bargaining chip. Honestly you should do that for yourself, but of course it improves your attractiveness.

  1. Play the numbers game

The more girls you talk to and date the less you will be concerned about each individual reaction and the girl will absolutely pick up on it.

Remember, our natural instinct is to sleep with as many girls as possible in order to create as many offspring as possible. If you are attempting to hide, apologize for, or suppress your natural feelings as a man she will sense that you are not a sexually fit man and that you will sacrifice your dignity and resources in order to date and have a chance to reproduce with her. Again subconscious and not her fault.

When you are single, always keep a dialog with multiple women, and when in a relationship make sure to constantly talk to and surround yourself with attractive women. Never let a girl feel that she is your only option and that you are desperate to keep her...once she feels that she controls the relationship she will start treating you differently, attraction will fade, and she will leave you at the first opportunity.

  1. Girls just want to have fun

Of course there are exceptions, but the average girl just wants to feel safe, be taken care of, and have fun.

If you take dating too seriously or give the impression of actively focusing on your dating life, it will signal a lack of options and a sense of desperation. Take what comes to you, you don't need to sleep with every girl on the first date, you are allowed to be yourself, and not every girl is going to like you, whether you like it or not and no matter how good your game is.

Just some practical advice I've gained over the years through successes, painful experiences, and plenty of trial and error.

One last thing, no one's perfect. If you slip up don't freak out - girls realize that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. They care more about who you are inside over the long run. They will look over a occasional breakdown or episode here or there if you are a quality guy.

P.S. One more thing. You don't have to have a pornstar dick to please a woman. But learn how to do it right and drive her crazy. She will keep coming back for more. Unfortunately there is no substitution for practice. A steady girlfriend is not the worst thing ever.


[–][deleted]  (20 children)

[deleted]

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 185 points186 points  (18 children)

Thanks.

At first I just wanted to get laid. Then I just wanted a girlfriend.

Flash forward a few years and now I just want a traditional man/woman, masculine/feminine relationship or two with a cool hot chick, and to be treated with respect.

[–]harsha_hs 32 points33 points  (17 children)

This isn't too bad post until you get into marriage/LTR. Everything is green and sunshine until you get significantly involved. TRP is careful about divorce rape, child support, rape accusation, pregnancy scares for a reason.

While enjoying till it lasts, always be careful

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla 33 points34 points  (6 children)

The only differences are

  1. Stakes are higher, hope you've honed your risk-taking behaviours.

  2. you can't fake it, you have to make it. She sees you 24/7, you have internalized all the things you did as a single guy to have more alpha behaviours, right?

  3. Have to be willing to burn it all down and start over. People don't test how hot the stove is when it's glowing.

[–]Gallobrax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. is by far one of the most important lesson to be taken from RP theory. If you're not ready to walk you will be walked over. This is how I ended up taking the pill. For me it was for the reason that I sacrificed my frame in the pursuance of what I thought was honor.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only differences are

"Only" is not the word I would use. More like "big". Also, from another thread:

https://goo.gl/zbWNA9

Have to be willing to burn it all down and start over.

I'm somewhat convinced (more on the "true" than "false") that the moment you get into classic LTR/marriage it automatically starts to decline (something like freshly bought car with literally 0 mileage is already considered as "used" and it's value declines) and a countdown timer begins. Being RP probably smooths the decline and slows down the clock but both are still going down anyway.

Perhaps mLTR or a bisexual LTR that enjoys gaming women are solutions, but I doubt it's a viable solution for most men, if it is a solution at all.

[–]krefnasterploc 83 points84 points  (8 children)

The urge to have offspring that you raise as a strong father with all your might so they actually are worth a shit and become decent human beings so humanity itself doesn't devolve into madness and barbarism is actually a thing. I know that's a tough concept in TRP of all places, but it's the Red-est pill there is.

[–]yaharon 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I agree. Raising a boy to be a man is the ultimate redpill. It's literally carrying on the tradition of the gods that made us.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah I have a nephew...My bro is a legend but his fiance wants to raise him soft and organic. I understand where she is coming from but me and my bro are going to mold this kid into a winner.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (4 children)

They always say LTRs and marriage are TRP on hard mode...

[–]_the_shape_ 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I'd revise that to marriages only (more specifically, a marriage with children involved) being TRP on hard mode.

An LTR becomes "TRP on hard mode" as soon as you discard the mantra that "she's never yours; it's only your turn". If you fully accept that it can end at any time, then the so-called difficulty of 'managing' a LTR vanishes completely.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nah, she's yours forever. She'd be a dumbass to leave you.

[–]i4mn30 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So like, the masters are able to pull it off? Like, our grandfathers from the baby boomer era?

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Becoming a man is hard but it's worth it. Read or listen to "On being a man" by David DeAngelo. Kinda cheesy but really good.

[–]BigBrotherZiggy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to see your comment has many upvotes. Got tired of dudes going around "duuuude, you don't get it, you're blue pillll. don't have kidssss use that money and time to hook up with hoes and buy expensive useless shittt. omg you're so blue pill trust me i'm such a chad i'd know i've banged so many hoes with cum smelling pussyy but idc i'm red pilledd"

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla 64 points65 points  (2 children)

Treat women like men, of course you begin to think of them as shitty, evil men. Men have never been able to get away with acting like that.

Treat women like fun children, and you begin to appreciate them for their impulse driven actions. When a child screws up, you aren't mad at them, they didn't know any better, it was just what they were wired to do.

Of course, you don't let children near the things you value most, they will just break them

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Brilliant. schopenhauer-esque

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup...treat her with the intellect of an adult and the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. :( wish it was different but that's life.

[–]Hellsteelz 110 points111 points  (50 children)

This is a very good and simple post for the newcomers that have read the sidebar. It almost feels like an synopsis of the subreddit.

I especially like the the two first points:

Women are not inherently evil. It's not their fault.

Every woman is different, Every woman is the same.

They really go hand in hand, just the way you described it. Often you see too many posts and comments on this subreddit that puts women down. You should not hate them or dislike them, they are like they are by nature and its going to be much easier for you if you accept it. The journey is about you, not them.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 65 points66 points  (37 children)

Thanks.

Yeah being an asshole is completely unnecessary.

People call alpha males assholes not because they treat women like shit, which they don't - but because they don't settle for the first girl that likes them and they treat her like an equal and not a goddess that should be worshipped.

Yeah there is the occasional rapper, athlete or executive who gets off on treating women like shit but most guys who are successful with women are extremely normal, they just have high standards for themselves, have an inner drive, and expect relationships - regardless of how long they last - to be mutually beneficial, fun, hot, and drama free.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (32 children)

Much like Crimson Eyes has I must challenge this.

Treating her like an equal is open to interpretation at best, utterly misguided at worst.

I believe this is THE main problem for blue pill men. And to see it proffered as a solution has baffled me.

I treated women as an equal and all it got me acquainted with was porn hub.

I would not neg an equal. I would not be cocky to an equal. I would not covertly imply I had better things to do than spend time with an equal. I would not have to lift to impress an equal. I would not have to use a more emotive less intellectual form of communication to assist me in getting to know an equal. I would not have to subtly dominate an equal.

And many alpha males are assholes. This bothers me about as much as the sun rising in the East bothers me but it's true. No ones saying they all are.

Look blaming women for being women is fruitless I thoroughly agree. But let's not go down the road of attributing them with undeserved virtues as that's why we needed the red pill in the first place.

[–]ChristopherBurr 12 points13 points  (9 children)

I would not neg an equal. I would not be cocky to an equal. I would not covertly imply I had better things to do than spend time with an equal. I would not have to lift to impress an equal. I would not have to use a more emotive less intellectual form of communication to assist me in getting to know an equal. I would not have to subtly dominate an equal.

I don't have to put on an act, and I don't lift to impress. I lift for me; And I don't want a woman an that I have to "use a more emotive less intellectual form of communication" with. I want someone who is smart and challenging to me.

I think OP's post is spot on. If you're going to treat someone like a subordinate, you're going to be in a shitty relationship.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (7 children)

It sounds like you are the much vaunted "natural" if you are implying that you never needed to change to gain attentions from the opposite sex. Congratulations. This has helped you but also may hinder you. Like not being that guy has helped and hindered me. It's certainly helped me gain a more accurate understanding of myself and others. And of course if you put a microscope anywhere you see bacteria.

What you aspire to is what I and many on here used aspire to. I'm sure that comes across as condescending but I can't think of another way to put it. It's the blue pill ideal. Like I always say I genuinely hope that works out for you. And don't assume that because women communicate more emotionally that they won't be smart and challenging.

I lead and dominate because life has made me strong and intelligent. But we're fooling ourselves if we think women don't secretly yearn for that.

Don't be so naive to think I haven't lived 2/3 of my life subscribed to the sort of equalism you exalt.

[–]ChristopherBurr 3 points4 points  (6 children)

What I aspire to, is simply to be the best version of me that I can be; and I work incredibly hard at it. I'm very well educated (multiple graduate degrees), successful in the investment banking/technology industry, and in reasonably good shape (lifting/boxing, diet).

You don't know anything about me. To assert that I aspire to a blue-pill ideal is stupid. Don't take the fact that I don't need to play stupid games with my wife as a sign of weakness. I've stepped in the ring with a lot of people, and I've worked on Wall Street for a lot of years. I've had my ass kicked, and I've also kicked a lot of ass in my lifetime. I have absolutely no problem with confrontation.

My wife and I are both Irish - while we're not "off the boat", neither of us are far removed from that. This tends to lead to lead to traditional roles within our relationship. Perhaps that's why we work out well together. We "get" each other. My wife is an intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking woman whom I respect. She doesn't take me for granted and I don't take her for granted either. We set our goals together and we both work to achieve them together. She makes great money, we both save and invest for retirement, we discuss our financial plan and spending all the time. We're on the same page in terms of raising our kids, and we discuss our differences. It works for us.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I disagree. I know a bit about you. You seem like a natural alpha based on our discussion. Based on that I completely understand why you may take issue with what I've stated. You're natural personality will satisfy most women's hypergamous instincts. But it would be silly to pretend everyone has that.

I don't play games any more. "Game TM" and a thorough understanding of evolutionary psychology has matured into inner game.

That's the endgame of red pill awareness I believe.

[–]Gallobrax 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The end game is and will always be amused mastery. How you reach it is subjective but inner game is simply the means.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amused mastery is for her/them.

Inner game is for me, and relates to everything.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup...he/she who cares less and takes things in stride will always have the upper hand.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 4 points5 points  (10 children)

Not disagreeing - but you see women as lesser creatures then?

[–]DeepRedTomato 16 points17 points  (1 child)

If they require you to be smarter, stronger, and more stable than them, don't you think it ridiculous to demand equality after all the hard work you put in to achieve a peak in your life? Women try to have it all and they can't, because there are standards she too must meet.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

looks, domestic skills, motherly qualities, supplemental income, encouragement, and love

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (6 children)

Lesser in many ways, more in others.

They certainly didn't need Neil Strauss or Rollo Tomassi to understand inter gender dynamics.

An uncomfortable truth is the man who thinks he's superior to women will do better than the man who has fallen for the lies of equalism.

But all that is really necessary is to understand that they are different.

[–]WhackTheFuck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, no matter how you try to make it easier to do, its still hard to accept especially if you have feelings towards a woman. You dont want to feel you are better than her. I mean, when you love someone you feel they are your world.

But sad fact is - feeling superior brought everyone success with women. Numerous occasions. Its just the way it is.

[–]Gallobrax 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Equality comes up a lot but it all boils down to power. This is something Tomassi talks about quite a bit, and while you are correct that the sexs are different the outlier is in each sexes ability to leverage this power. Men are biologically predisposed to be better wielders and this is a simple fact, a fact any martial artist, fireman or police officer will attest to. This is not to say that women have no power but a man with frame, confidence and physical ability will turn a woman into his subordinate every single time.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes..they like when you are in charge. but will never admit it. a weak man could feel like he has everything going for him and things are clicking on all cylinders but if he loses control and authority of his woman, she will always have one eye open - looking for the upgrade, looking for someone else to make her feel wanted, managed, and safe.

[–]Usziel 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I figured they didn't need such role models because of the current state of the western world being anti-men pro women. Women only ever start to feel a sliver of what we have to learn when they meet the Wall.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true but my point was they have an innate understanding of intergender dynamics that even natural alphas don't quite have.

Yes funnily enough that's when many of them start treating men as human beings.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's instinct. When they see a real man/alpha male all logic and social conditioning will disappear very fast.

[–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no...equal but completely different. Seeing them as inferiors is childish and will get you nowhere.

They are completely different and value totally different things.

Comparing men to women is like comparing avocados to mangoes.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You are confusing equal with "same"

    [–]myrodia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You don't neg your friends? You're not cocky around your friends? You don't use power talk when first meeting someone or at work? You lift to impress others, and not for yourself?

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I do but the relationship(s) are not dependent on those things.

    [–]DarkuSchneider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Many supposed alphas are labeled assholes because the nice guy's are jealous of their success. Most of these assholes are not. They simply establish and enforce boundaries and do not give women deferential treatment just for having a vag and showing up.

    [–]Crimson_Eyes 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    "and they treat her like an equal and not a goddess that should be worshipped."

    And what if the person's standard for how they treat equals is with respect? No negging, no social manipulation, no game, etc?

    [–]newlifeRP 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Respect should never be unconditional. You should treat people with respect IF they are up to your standards. If your standards are not doing any of those, fine, but don't let others do it to you and still put up with them.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If you truly have the "game" mastered and treat her like an equal she will be the one qualifying and trying to prove herself to you...advanced is not the right word I think it just comes with experience. In the meantime just try to keep your options open and date as many girls as you can.

    [–]Cozc 21 points22 points  (9 children)

    Ive made this reply before and ill make it again.

    NATURE IS NOT AN EXCUSE

    My nature is to conquer my neighbors back yard and take his daughters as prize. I dont do this because i have a prefrontal cortex that tells my brain not to do that

    Women also have prefontal cortexes, however no one (including those in this sub) ever expects them to use it. Maybe society would be a little better if women werent such cunts and controlled themselves like men do, if only to the smallest degree

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    Undervalued point right here. People, both men and women, are generally selfish, awful creatures. We're all programmed at act in our own best interest and it takes effort to stray from that programming and act for the good of society instead.

    Where we have run into problems as a society is when we decide women's selfish behavior is ok but men's is not. E.g. a woman not ready for a child can abort it without question, but a man not ready for a child will be shamed by his community and hunted by the state.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There are some good women out there who break the mold and challenge perception. Some of them are pretty hot too - and they will be wifed up for sure by the time they're 30. If you really meet a good girl who's drop dead gorgeous, don't fuck it up, you may never meet a girl like that ever again in your life.

    [–]FirstNamesMusic 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Yup, I have an instinct to fight and conquer. I don't do that, because I have a moral compass not to beat the shit out of someone. Girls are the same with sticking with their man (Or not). Her instincts may be screaming, but it's no different than us with our nature. Strong ppl can overcome it

    [–]excal10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's was my point as well in another comment. Nature isn't an excuse for a woman if she can, at least partially, control her responses and behavior.

    [–]WhackTheFuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I gotta say man, spot on.

    This society is apologetic towards women. If we insisted on true equality (same punishment etc) then it would be a bit different story.

    Too much of this apologetic attitude just reaffirms all the bad traits in women.

    Thanks for snapping me out of it.

    [–]NoHittingTheCycle -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    You’re a virgin aren’t you?

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    yup what does it feel like?? lol

    [–]desno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Every woman is different, Every woman is the same.

    This line hit me hard. It all just clicks especially if you've read the sidebar. It could be a mantra up there with "She's not yours, it's just your turn"

    [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This is a very good and simple post for the newcomers that have read the sidebar. It almost feels like an synopsis of the subreddit.

    But not an excuse to skip the sidebar, newbs.

    [–]1ozaku7 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    One last thing, no one's perfect. If you slip up don't freak out - girls realize that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. They care more about who you are inside over the long run. They will look over a occasional breakdown or episode here or there if you are a quality guy. P.S. One more thing. You don't have to have a pornstar dick to please a woman. But learn how to do it right and drive her crazy. She will keep coming back for more. Unfortunately there is no substitution for practice. A steady girlfriend is not the worst thing ever.

    Steady girlfriend are fine. In my opinion, you have mastered TRP. You just accept the game as it is, you know how to play it and you can still find happiness in the common life like having a long term relationship without having to stroke your ego by ramping up your n-count. After a couple of one night stands I just got sort of tired and just want a steady girlfriend that respects me, looks forward to me, who can brighten my day with her humour and just be a great companion in general. And I will return the favor by being the man she desires. Women are looking for men, not a son to take care of. Everything you said is right on point.

    [–]Fusion_power 20 points21 points  (4 children)

    There is a nugget in there that can be used.

    "Girls just want to have fun"

    I asked a woman why girls go for "bad guys". Her response was certified redpill. "because they are fun!"

    You can have a ton of flaws, but if you do interesting things and are a "fun" guy, the sky is the limit.

    [–]D0initbig 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    The song was written and originally performed by a man lamenting the fact that girls just want to have fun.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well I guess he nailed it...lol

    [–]1Sir_Distic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Also "Bad boys" have confidence and aren't needy. Two things that moisten women's panties.

    [–]Rudeyyyy 17 points18 points  (11 children)

    I'm 5'4 and ironically all the girls my height or shorter that I've asked out have said that I'm too short and they need someone a lot taller. And the women that were taller then me were more receptive ironically.

    [–]RateAmIUglyThrow 8 points9 points  (5 children)

    That's because for some reason women from 5'4"-5'7" seem to care the least according to some people.

    [–]Rudeyyyy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Just like this post "every woman is different" some short women do like short men. Point is you can't worry about it and need to work on yourself.

    [–]PoddyMouth611 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    because short women are aware of how short they are and want a taller guy to balance them out. taller girls don't have those insecurities

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    you may be right admittedly i am a bit taller 5'11 so hard for me to relate

    [–]PoddyMouth611 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    i' was just going to post this myself. Shorter guys like myself have generally better success with girls the same height or even taller

    [–]Rudeyyyy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I don't know why that is. I was thinking because the tall girls are used to being tall so it makes no difference for them. But I've always had a thing for a taller woman so I'm not going to complain.

    [–]PoddyMouth611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    i think that's true as well

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You may very well be right. Perhaps an oversight on my end...

    [–]Rudeyyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Everyone's different. We aren't all programmed the same way. The stereotype for guys is big tits with a fat ass. I prefer smaller boobs which you'd think I'd want big because when I hug her I get my face all up in them but I prefer smaller boobs....the ass part is true though.

    [–]TunedtoPerfection 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Try to drive a nice car, have a nice place and have a decent job

    This should be changed to:

    Try to drive a maintained and clean car, maintained and clean place and have a job your interested in

    A 2017 S class is a "nice car" that any girl would love to be seen in. A 2017 S class with faded, chipped paint, that sounds like it's running on half it's cylinders is still a "nice car", no chick would want to be caught dead in it. It's much more important, both financially and from a red pill stand point to have a cheaper, maintained car then a POS with some rims, exhaust muffler and LED lights. Same goes with your personal place. You could live in a 5 bedroom house at the top of Malibu Canyon, if it looks like a landfill everyday it's not going to help you.

    It all boils down in taking pride in yourself, your image and the image you give off every time you step out the door. Some people argue that things like these all boil down to seeking validation from others. I once agreed with that group until I made these changes myself. What people who don't make these changes fail to understand is people don't give you validation for these things, they give you respect and trust.

    Very few people tell me how "clean" my car is and are actually referring to the cleanliness of it. I have however gotten business because of how clean my car is consistently. See a man that pays attention to those small details and has those small aspect of his life handled signals that to the world. It signals to everyone that he is responsible and commands respect.

    First impressions are huge in the modern world, sometimes it is the only impression you have on a person. First impression are such that you may not even know your giving it. People will use their first impression of you to base their whole line of future interactions with you. First impressions are so powerful that even with a mountain of contradictory evidence people will still compare you to their first impression of you. This can be for good or bad. An amazing first impression can offer give you quite the halo effect and vice versa.

    Even if you overcome that impression, there will always been the memory they had of you in their mind. You must be relentless in your maintenance of your life. Take it from someone that use to have to fight hard against the impression I gave out. Much more opportunity seems to roll your way, at a much quick rate, when you make good first impressions.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    the memory will always be of you...not your possessions.

    [–]SextupleRed 41 points42 points  (14 children)

    This is good but I lost track of the number of things I learned in here.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    This is a good summary, OP is reasonable and balanced.

    [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

    1. Women are not inherently evil, it's not their fault.

    This is an essential component of achieving inner game.

    And really isn't letting them off the hook but is rather a confirmation of AWALT. They weren't evil for rejecting me they were simply robotically responding to my lack of alpha. Now they do the reverse.

    The problem is the bollox about you meeting "that special someone" or "there's someone out there for you."

    These are hideously limiting beliefs. Those girls are the same girls - the rejectors and the special ones - YOU make all the difference.

    [–]Phoenixtorment 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Women are not inherently evil, it's not their fault.

    Let's take that a step further and say 'there is no good or evil'.

    Only nature.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Just because one's brain has evolved to want something doesn't mean it's a free pass for not transcending self. My brain has evolved to want to eat shitty food, fuck every female i meet and even to rape (socialization has trained this out of all but the sickest of us).

    Genetics and brain chemistry are little to no excuse for shitty behavior.

    [–]InfiniteAscent 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    6's and 7's can often be a lot more fun to hang out with and sleep with than perfect 10's. In fact, they usually are. The hottest girls are often not worth the headache.

    This is good confirmation, but I don't think that statement is appropriate for men who haven't mastered TRP yet (myself included). It gives them an excuse not to try for the 10's - to allow themselves to give up before they've reached the top. I see so many posts here by guys talking about HB7-8s thinking they're nailing this TRP stuff. I don't want to diminish their efforts, they put in some solid work and are getting results and that is all well and good. I just don't want a comment like this to become an excuse for guys to stop short.

    BTW, nice post!

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I hear ya...I think we all put the insta models and straight legendary hoes on a pedestal. Hard not to but you gotta just treat them like your little sister etc...don't be afraid to give them shit and make them work a little.

    They are women too....since they have guys lining up for them they have a bit more confidence than others so you can just act super normal (easier said than done)...keep talking to the other girls and I guarantee she will start meandering over your way.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [removed]

    [–]RobertCarraway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You don't kill yourself- you improve yourself. Clean your room. Wash your face. Hold your shoulders back and hold your head high.

    If this kills you - to own your own corner of the world socially, materially, spiritually - then fuck women, good luck finding meaning anywhere at all.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Agree to some point. Don't try to be the #1 alpha male above all alpha males...there are plenty of beautiful women to spread along and if you can snag 4 or 5 in a few month period and keep them around you are doing pretty well for yourself.

    [–]sh0ckley 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    What great way to begin my day. Thanks for the good post. Lots of wisdom in here and OP has clearly earned it.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I started doing it to conquer my loneliness and sexual frustration but that was years ago. Now I do what I do for me.

    That's the red pill. Women won't ever complete you, your own sense of self worth will.

    [–]pugh88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Great post. Nicely balanced.

    [–]DysfunctionalBrother 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    "Women are masters of emotion. If you succumb or react to her getting angry, upset, or vindictive, she will subconsciously sense weakness and question your ability to provide for and protect her."

    Great post, but just to confirm by reacting do you just mean caving in to make her happy? Or are there other reactions you feel are not helpful and some that are?

    [–]1Sir_Distic 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    She gets angry/upset/vindictive. You react by getting angry (wrong!), or apologizing (wrong!), or sulking (wrong!). and she'll see you're not in control of your emotions. She'll think of you as less of a man and more of as a child.

    [–]DysfunctionalBrother 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    So what is the correct way of reacting? Shrugging your shoulders and laughing it off? Surely there are situations where that is not going to work and not reacting by being passive is a terrible idea as well which i don't think OP is suggesting, but i am not sure what he is suggesting except not what to do rather than what to do.

    [–]1Sir_Distic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How would you react if a guy got mad at you? I'm not talking "Let's fucking step outside!" angry but "you hurt my feelings." angry. You'd laugh, probably walk away thinking "I'm not going to deal with this."

    What if it was a teenage girl you hardly knew. Some 15 year old daughter of a friend of yours. "OMG you're mean to me!" You're probably going to think "... so?" Women are emotional teenagers. I'm beginning to understand this myself. Taking a good hard close look at women of all ages. They ALL complain. Women in their early 20's, women in their 60's. I work with all kinds, black, white, hispanic, asian. Young and old, married and dating, kids/no kids. All of them complain about how tired they are. They do the exact same job as me. Am I tired? Of course. Do I complain? Hell no. That's weakness. Also women are selfish and don't give a shit if you're tired. They only care if you care if they are tired.

    My point is to not give a damn if a woman gets upset. Don't try to piss them off. (Unless it amuses you) but if you DO piss them off don't care. Don't act like you're sorry. Hell I've pissed off women and told them "I'm not responsible for your feelings." and walked off. They stared daggers at me and now hate me. But they don't disrespect me.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ya caving in...don't cave in to avoid an argument...or to string out a relationship where the girl is slowly trying to establish control. Those manipulative girls are not worth it.

    [–]Man-with-a-pitchfork 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    1. Reddit has this weird idea that every new list should start with 1, no matter what number you actually used.

    Here's what you can do about it:

    2. You simply write a between the number and the dot. The backslash tells reddit that the next character should be treated as plain text, not as a command. The backslash itself is invisible. If you want a backslash to actually show up, you have to use two backslashes: .

    [–]uebermacht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Awesome reference experience written in a beautiful text!
    I really appreciate the sharing.
    In addition to this, a visual form of the male-to-female dynamic: https://youtu.be/d8ZPwIn82GU
    ~ Cheers!

    [–]fartingaround 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is arguably the most level headed post ive read on here so far👍

    [–]drqxx 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Saved for later review.

    Also

    The hottest girls are often not worth the headache

    I had to learn this the hard way.

    [–]Luckyluke23 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I knew all of these things, but it's GREAT to hear them from a different prospective. great write up man

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks I'm just a normal guy who had to learn the hard way.

    [–]Scymnus 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Women are not inherently evil. It's not their fault. They are fundamentally different than us. Their brain has a different chemistry, and it's not their fault. They are the more vulnerable sex, and their brains have evolved to maximize their ability to survive and reproduce. They will always look for a man who provides them with status, safety, and security, while secretly or overtly desiring the alpha male - I don't think I need to explain what an alpha male is on here. There will always be someone better looking, braver, manlier, more successful, wealthier, or better looking than you. Accept that if your wife or girlfriend encounters this man she will be extremely attracted and her instincts will scream at her to sleep with him.

    And how would you define who is evil and who is not? Is evil some inheritable trait making you commit evil actions on others? Or is evil a description of someone who has a tendency to commit evil on others?

    You can't blame women for being fundamentally different from us, but exactly because of what you describe they have a tendency to fuck men over in the form of shaming, destroying their reputation, taking their children, taking their resources, alienating them from loved ones etc. I would describe all these actions as evil in a traditional moral sense, which is the basis for most guys definition of evil. So in the sense of the word as we understand it you could call women evil because they have inheritable traits that make them commit (or at least capable of) such actions. Or you can keep your belief in women's virtue until enough of them reveal their true nature for you to come to the same conclusion.

    You're trying to make the point that men shouldn't hate women, to which I can fully agree because it is very unlikely that it will help you sleep with more women. However women's inheritable traits are not going to change, so as long as we keep our traditional morality it will be next to impossible to view women through a red pill lens without regarding them as evil. The solution is not to absolve women of their agency or making yourself blind to their true nature, it is to absolve yourself of your traditional morality.

    Every woman is different, Every woman is the same. Don't treat a girl like a robot. They are human beings. They are extremely different in their interests, goals, passions, desires, idiosyncrasies, etc.

    This sound like another attempt at watering down the message, and even though it could be argued, the point is moot because it won't help you have sex with more women. In my experience women are all the same at their sexual core, but they adopt the habits of the men they're with or trying to attract. This means that even if a girl has a specific interest for football and mostly fuck high status football players she won't hesitate to fuck the tatted up thug alpha because he still fills up the criteria that her sexual nature demands. Thinking about how women are different just isn't helpful when you're trying to increase your sexual options.

    Take what comes to you, you don't need to sleep with every girl on the first date, you are allowed to be yourself, and not every girl is going to like you, whether you like it or not and no matter how good your game is.

    Accept being a second-rate alpha, JBY, stagnate and admit defeat. Sure you can get away with this when you've fucked 100 women and don't care as much anymore, but this is all terrible advice for new guys looking to get laid or spin their first plates. If you're talking about advanced game you could make a point about relaxing a bit as your game improves and your options increase, but when you gloss over it like this it just sounds like blue pill bullshit. This is why you should write in-depth theory posts instead of bullet-point lists, what you're doing here is shortening the message to the point where you come off completely contradicting core red pill principles. Remember that there are a lot more new members than experienced ones around here, they won't understand what you're trying to say and will go out making the same mistakes based on the same lies they've always been fed.

    [–]Degener0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Dude, it's not fucking rocket science. Get your shit together. Get a job you feel fulfilled in and earns you a good living. Lift heavy things and gain confidence with your body. Learn to fuck. Stop with the porn, cigarettes, all the addictive shit that brings you down.

    In short, be the best person you can be. Look at yourself often and look at the flaws that hold you back from health, wealth and happiness. Get rid of them one by one. Suddenly, things happen for you alot easier when you pursue them.

    It takes effort. But, blaming women for not doing any of the things above is cringe and weak. The misogyny that people go after us for is when losers put women down in order to feel like they are something. Most of the time they are not; they are weak and pathetic versions of what they could be. Call it the anger phase or denial or delusion but that man needs to fix himself. You can get laid here and there when fixing yourself but your main objective should be yourself. A poor man cannot help a cause as much as a rich man.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    1. Evil is in the eye of the beholder.

    2. The modern day "alpha male" doesn't need to intimidate the other guys. Just be better and more emotionally stable, operate in a job or hobby or lifestyle that positions you constantly around babes and let them fight over you

    [–]M0RKET 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Truth and nothing but truth. Well written, brother.

    [–]excal10 5 points6 points  (13 children)

    Don't treat her like a robot. [...] "The game" is never over, it's always on.

    They are human beings who in the area of dating are pretty much controlled by their biology. In the context of dating, they behave like robots or slaves to their biology.

    Very few women can detach from their biological scripts.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (11 children)

    Right, because men can? We are doing the same thing from the male perspective.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    1% of the guys get 99% of the girls...80/20 principle is waaaaay to generous.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [removed]

    [–]boomcheese44 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I wouldn't be so harsh, but yeah.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    A lot these guys seem bitter and don't understand they are just acting out their natural instincts as much as the women they are attracted to are acting out their natural instincts.

    Sleeping with 100 different women is cool... I guess. If you are look up to Barney Stinson from how i met your mother. Mental health problems imo.

    [–]Shakydrummer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Easily one of the best posts on TRP in a while

    [–]fromthecrypt8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Great post. Going on a first date with a unicorn this weekend, and needed this reminder.

    [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Perfect. Balanced, humanising and delivered in a relaxed manner that counteracts the anger and frustration that its felt in the sub more often that I would like to experience.

    Empathy. Women crave alphas? We men also crave hot, young women. Infidelity occurs pretty much 50/50 between genders and we are even a lot more open about expressing our lust for attractive people.

    Women crave stability? We also do. A lot. Whether that stability comes from our own self-improvement (great TRP principle) or from having a relationship (boohoo beta buck!) we also want to feel secure, appreciated and wanted.

    Shit testing. We are also shit testing them constantly and checking whether or not they are still suitable plates/girlfriends/wives. In the end, quality control is something needed in our lives.

    Frustration comes from unmet expectations. You can work yourself to be the best man you can ever be and if you still are raising the bar too high, you will feel frustration. If frustration leads to to action, then keep raising that bar because the sky is the limit. If frustration leads to depression and inaction, take a step back.

    And for the frustrated/angry guys out there. Hold on and be patient because it gets better. Teenage and college years can be a grindstone of hormones and unmet sexual and romantic expectations. You feel that women just have it easy and that they just have the bargaining chip, which is true. Afterwards, the tortilla flips and you will be coasting through life and finding women and relationships will just be second nature because in the end, we are just humans learning how to play human.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If it was that easy we'd all be dating supermodels...oh wait. There are only so many smart, beautiful girls out there and the competition is pretty fierce, not to scare you...

    In my experience the guys that always had the most rejections, crash and burns, and public humiliations always ended up with the hottest girls.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

    [–]excal10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    They care more about who you are inside over the long run. They will look over a occasional breakdown or episode here or there if you are a quality guy.

    Quality in the sense of being a good provider and protector? Or being an alpha male?

    [–]FROST11254 2 points3 points  (7 children)

    Judge women by there actions not words, yet don't hate them when they act like shitty whores?! I just don't know how I can not get mad at the dog that bites the hand...

    [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    why are you getting mad? her behavior is showing you EXACTLY who she is... a slut.

    hold frame. take a deep breath. ACCEPT that she doesn't value her sexuality and body and likes to "slut it up." then, move on.

    her choice is to fuck around a lot... your choice is to move on. but you shouldn't get mad. be HAPPY that you saw the truth.

    [–]FROST11254 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I'm glad I know the truth, I know that they are sluts I just feel like I shouldn't have to accept that and they shouldn't get a pass they should know what there doing and that it's not appreciated.

    [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    wow. "it's not appreciated?" they don't need your approval to do what they want with their bodies. if they want 100 dix to leave DNA in them, it's their choice.

    what i do is let them slut it up... it's their choice. and to not touch them & act like they don't exist is my choice. but my choice is never anger or judgment; that's a waste of energy.

    in my dad's words.. "women are feral by nature. feminism is the excuse they use to justify that (true) behavior."

    [–]FROST11254 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    That's like parents who let their kid run around tear shot up and use * they're only kids* yeah you can't treat them like a middle aged man but that doesn't mean you let them act like heathens.

    [–]1Sir_Distic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    That's the anger phase talking. "IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT RIGHT! THINGS SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS!" etc.

    Unfortunately for you, me, everyone, it is and they are. We can deal with it like men, accepting it and saying ok. I'll deal with it. Or we can whine like women. Clearly you're not whining. You're simply explaining how you feel about what you see. That's fine.

    I have to accept that women will forever overlook me because I'm short, because I'm in my 40's, because I'm balding, because I have a big nose, and a 100 other reasons. I'm not the best mate for the largest percentage of attractive young females. And never will be. That's ok. I do fine with women.

    Women will never take responsibility for their actions. Especially young women and especially more-so attractive young women. They get the world handed to them on bended knees by men. free dinners, clothes, cars, etc. Attention literally any second they desire it thanks to social media.

    It is what it is. We all have to deal with it. BUT... we have an advantage. We know how they act and can act accordingly to bring the odds more in our favor. That's what makes the Red Pill so great. Opening your eyes.

    [–]FROST11254 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That makes sense, I guess I am still anger phase. But thanks for breaking it down for me.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    how long would you be mad if your new dog bit your hand???

    [–]Roaring40sUK 3 points4 points  (5 children)

    Great post. Nicely balanced and a welcome chnage from "they are fucking Ho's"

    Your point about accepting Hypergamy and finding peace in that, hit home for me. Its like you can look at them and feel a bit sorry for them, having this Hypergamy hamster running around 24/7.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    Yup, they can't help themselves lol. I've been on both sides of the fence and it can be initially shocking how easily girls will risk a stable, long-term relationship for one night with "him."

    The less you care, the more she chases.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Must be hanging with shitty women with shitty relationships.

    [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    a good girl will THINK about one night with him and NOT act on it... won't risk her (valued and respected) relationship for a quick fuck.

    a bad girl with drop her panties and fuck him within 30 seconds... then blame her actions on YOU and YOUR behavior. some women have great difficulty keeping their pussy covered by panties.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Nice to think but most girls will sway to the second example despite your reasoning...

    [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    not all women are sluts.

    but there's a guy out there that can bring out the slut in every woman.

    [–]kaane 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    This is probably one of the best posts that I have read here ever. You should be honored as "the monk of the red pill". There is nothing I can say or add to what you have written here. Even a noob can see the experience and maturity in your message. You are well past the anger phase and become peace with the system, and functioning as a true alpha.

    Although you don't mention about it, I know the struggles and hurdles that you had to pass thru. As they say, every obsticle is a test to your determination. And you seem like you are well past those tests, and with flying colors.

    Have a good and healthy life brother,

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    thanks yeah. crying alone in your room after getting dumped by the love of your life sobers you up pretty quickly.

    [–]kaane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You know how they make the toughest and sharpest swords. First they put it in the strongest fire. Then they beat it and beat it and beat it.

    If it is still not broken, only then a master starts sharpening it.

    So yes, this is how we are made...

    [–]OGlancellannister 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    https://i.imgur.com/0mKXcg1.gif

    Awesome post. Been at the game for about 5 years myself and this completely reaffirms what I've seen. Love the balance man, love the acceptance of female nature while being able to see the incredible things that the masculine/feminine polarity offers. Men and women are so very different, and the ways in which we differ can be beautiful to behold.

    It's so important to gauge women using feminine standards rather than the masculine as you say here. Honour and loyalty are masculine ideals and serve no real purpose for women evolutionarily speaking. Recognizing that emotions is the primary currency on which women operate is so crucial for having any sort of nuance in your game.

    The part about relationship management is gold in my view. I feel a lot of guys lose their frame, and their game goes to rust once they've shacked up with a girl for a while. Constantly surrounding yourself with attractive women is great to keep the skills sharp, and encourage your woman to keep investing in you, continue to stay fit, attractive etc. It really incentivizes her to be the best woman she can be.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Trust me I've had to learn from experience. Been dumped multiple times for trying to be a "good boyfriend" and giving her almost all of my time and energy. At the time I was completely in love with her and when she dumped me I was devastated for months. It sucks, but sometimes we all need to learn the hard way.

    You don't have to cheat on her, you just have to stay on top of your game. A relationship is not an excuse to ease up on pursuing your personal goals nor should it be a convenience.

    A true healthy relationship is one where both of you choose to be in a relationship, she respects your schedule, goals and personal time, and she encourages you to be the best version of yourself.

    [–]ibpod 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Am i only person here ,male 19 had sex with same girl past 4 years planning on getting married soon? Haha

    [–]MortalSisyphus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Nah, that sounds like my story. I've been married over a decade and don't regret it one bit.

    Honestly, spending 8 years "in the game" sounds depressing as fuck to me. What do you have to show for it all? An "n count"? No thanks.

    [–]ibpod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ha we got disliked im red pilled but geez there are some serious woman haters here and i agree with em mostly most females thot nowdays but not all not even a reply just downvoted us much sadness

    [–]Doomfox81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Preach. spoken like a master.

    [–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Everyone seems to love this post, but honestly this is just a bunch of general stuff to me that I already knew. You've been in the game 8 years, I was just hoping for more. Don't be offended. I'm irritated because someone like you probably has a lot you can teach me, but in this post you haven't. I have been practicing RP for 1.5 months (reading for about 5 months) and after getting down some of the main principles and still not being too successful, I want to learn what the turning points were for you.

    • What really made you attractive to women?

    • What got you from a beginner to being more advanced?

    • How did you build the confidence you needed coming from awkward and socially unaware?

    • What advice would you give to those who are awkward and have weak social skills?

    I understand going out there and gaining experience is the best teacher. I go out every night, but it's easy to plateau, and gaining valuable insight from a veteran can help us along our journeys.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    1. Not caring if they liked me or not

    2. Understanding how a woman thinks

    3. Practice and reptition...and lots of failure and embarassment

    4. Hang out with guys who get laid often

    [–]dewzahundred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    For once i don't roll my eyes reading the thread here

    [–]HierEncore 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    What about the 50% of married couples who stay married and never divorce? I guess those women ran away too...

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Every girl is different, Every girl is the same

    [–]excal10 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Again subconscious and not her fault.

    I don't buy this "not her fault" theme. Yes, it's not her fault because she has those instincts. But it's her fault if she's not doing her best to control them when they are obviously harmful.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    She doesn't consciously realize what she's doing. It's instinctual and she can't help it. How is it her fault as a person?

    [–]excal10 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    People are more aware of what they are doing and more in control. But for some particular reason they prefer to do things in the same way. They don't understand why they should change it or have the will to change.

    How is it her fault as a person?

    Can you help yourself not to be attracted to a hot girl? No. Can you control your emotional reactions, behavior and so on? Yes, to a degree.

    It's the same with girls. Do they shit test guys? Yes. Can they control it? Partially. A women could learn to control her behaviors but she doesn't do it because she doesn't believe to be in her advantage.

    Example. A girl who gives cruel shit tests to guys can control her tests. If she encounters guys who make her pay for each cruel shit test, she will eventually learn that it's not in her best interest to be too cruel and she will adjust her behavior. People respond to incentives.

    The above applies to any hard wired mating woman strategy.

    So if they are able to control their behaviors at least to a degree, it's her fault if she doesn't control her behavior at least partially.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    In my experience people rarely change.

    [–]excal10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    People usually change when they have to. In the case of women, they don't change because what they are doing works to a degree. They don't consider it in their best interest to change. When what they are doing will stop working, they will have no choice but to change and many of them will.

    I think people change a lot of many things but they rarely make big paradigm shift changes.

    [–]cesarfd 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Never let a girl feel that she is your only option and that you are desperate to keep her...once she feels that she controls the relationship she will start treating you differently, attraction will fade, and she will leave you at the first opportunity.

    Not only "options". Options must be translated into actual lays. Never, ever stay sexually monogamous, no matter how amazing you think your current LTR is.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Depends on the dynamic of the relationship. I believe in true love..as long as she always loves you more and will do anything for you. Those girls are hard to come by and when you find her you would be a fool not to marry and spend the rest of your life with her.

    [–]cesarfd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The concept of love and the sexual strategy are completely different between men and women, no exceptions.

    You should seriously consider reading the sidebar material.

    [–]7mil 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    This is amazing, love from Texas!

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks...UT sucks go Stanford Cardinal!!!

    [–]rchsun 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Great post OP! Good to see a post that doesn't just treat women as objects to be plated.

    Every woman is different, Every woman is the same.

    Love this. AWALT but that doesn't mean we shouldn't treat them with any less respect, because that's just the way we humans are wired. Sidebar quality OP.

    [–]red_rover_red_rover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yep I think there was a bit of miscommunication.

    By respect I mean treat them how they would like to be treated aka protected, safe, dominated, and ravaged :)

    [–]MrEscher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    yeah great contribution. was insightful and useful.

    Some of the comments in this forum are cringe worthy.

    But not yours

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