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Blue Pill ExampleThis is ridiculously sad. A father tells his kids about their mother cheating on him and she threatens to kill him. In the eyes of two legal advice subreddits, he is an evil, manipulative jerk. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

This is the original thread.

Ex-Wife sends death threats to husband when husband reveals to their kids (aged 15 and 16) that they divorced because of her infidelity.

What happens? + 268 points

I want to point out that what you did is classic parental alienation.I don't care if she banged every pizza boy for 10 zip codes. You need to separate her actions against you, with her rights and duties as a parent to her children. Using your issues with her (however valid) to drive a wedge between her and her kids is not only wrong, but she could absolutely take you to court over it and possibly win. You have violated her parental rights. You need to make some amends.

Great fucking legal advice! Just what this guy came here for. To hear some armchair neckbeards talk about how his wife is the victim and this idiot goes so far as to saying that he needs to make AMENDS with a potentially hostile woman.

And then there's the classic projection from White Knights, Incels, and SJWs.

Honestly, the more I read this guy's posts the more I realize why the wife decided that infidelity and leaving him was the way to go. I'm not saying she had that the right way round, but I don't blame her for wanting out of the marriage.

Isn't it amazing how much push back this simple concept is getting here? A lot of people who don't understand how to handle adult problems like mature adults.

I know right? That woman shouldn’t be threatening the father of her children! Oh, wait, you think the woman threatening to kill someone is the victim...because the actual victim dared tell his kids the hard truth when they asked?

Legal advice is a shithole.

And now here's the original BOLA thread. Another thread filled with classic assumptions. LAOP talks reasonable and is coherent in his tone, he MUST be a narcissistic abuser and manipulating asshole and the wife is a victim! Everyone even going against this is down-voted.

Then OP posts an update. He confronts his ex wife in a reasonable manner and offers her a way to repair her relationship with his kids. He even tells them about how he was not the "best lover" and that she should be forgiven and that he "forgives" her.

bestoflegaladvice continues to maintain that OP is a psychopath and a manipulative jerk who has "hurt" his kids.

LAOP is still insufferable. Those poor kids :(

Clearly. The father responds in the thread, presenting himself in an eloquent and organized manner. He even attempts to repair the relationship between his ex and his kids.

Apparently the kids are "unlucky" to have such a caring and kind father. He should have lied to them forever. Lying fixes everything right?

"I believe I handled this perfectly." isn't very humble.

Sure, that was cocky. Better call him a sociopath, then!!! Better say that he thinks he's a God!

Like those statement aren't extreme and overly confident in one's abilities to judge character.

Of course he isn't an angel. What a stupid concept. And he's admitted as much. So why are you castigating him so hard for not being fucking angelic? You've been frothing at the mouth over this guy's story, calling him a monster. Where's your halo?

Downvoted. Why? Because apparently OP is supposed to be this infallible angel and the poor womyn is being oppressed by such a kind father who, supposedly, forgave her cheating and even tried to help her repair her relationship with the kids.

You can even go to church everyday before breakfast, but what you told here is just awful. You think you are a type of God who can manipulate the emotions of your kids. You are even a worse parent than one that cheats. Thats why you got so many downvotes. You arent seeing reality. Again, this is what you considered to share. Im scared about what other terrible things you do to those poor kids. Instead of helping them. Terrible.

+41 upvotes. OP is getting savaged.

Oh, and how could one forget! The infantilization of two teenagers. Apparently they should be kept in the dark about why their world was shaken to the core. Apparently, they are too young and stupid to understand that their mother was a whore and that their world was shattered because of it. And supposedly, they aren't able to think for themselves and are clearly being manipulated by, as armchair psychologist eloquently puts, a sociopath.

And people wonder why men face difficulty in family courts.

edit: thanks for gold!


[–]yesbuthereswhy 505 points506 points  (20 children)

It’s amazing how this woman can just get off the hook for saying batshit crazy stuff and have a whole reddit parade for her.

[–]Drumcode-Equals-Life 129 points130 points  (1 child)

Welcome to the dichotomy of modern feminism, where strong independent womenTM have no agency or responsibility for their actions, they are simultaneously just as strong as men in every way, yet can’t be held responsible for their personal actions in life as perpetual victims.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This twoness is inbuilt in their minds and essential to them. It's their identity, not just a mantel they wear (there's no internal "detached mind's eye that observes and knows their duplicity, and what they are really doing. Ergo, they have a hundred selves at once/they never have a real self. Ergo, learn how they can be used, stick to the instruction booklet, and don't hope for more.)

[–]casemodz 293 points294 points  (7 children)

Welcome to victimhood. Requirements are: Don't be male or Caucasian.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[removed]

    [–]Shitty_Economist 51 points52 points  (2 children)

    Or have a femanine penis + take estrogen

    [–]PM_ME_UR_NAKED_TITS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Even better results then, because then they can pull out the "omg why are you so transphobic" card

    [–]electricsou 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    why is this shit leaking everywhere (like a gay man's asshole)? so tired of hearing about gross trannies, sorry to say

    [–]Puncledorf 11 points12 points  (7 children)

    They're literally fucking encouraging abuse. This is a form of abuse, and they're playing victim. I have gone all the way around from seething anger to utter dead calm.

    [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    This in the comments is what just rustles the jimmies.

    You should also understand that you are being emotionally destructive to your kids.

    Oh, like fucking around on the pair bond and literally destroying the family unity? She gets a pass on that, but informing the kids of WHY they have no family isn't ok? Fucking cunt (the person that posted that comment). You know what is emotionally destructive to kids? When the world you tell them about and the world they see is different. They aren't stupid. They know someone or both of them fucked up. They should understand causes and effects instead of fearing all they are told is a lie.

    Of course, she shouldn't be cut off from her kids. She sure as hell ohs them an apology and atonement though.

    And yes, this would be the same if the man did it.

    [–]PhaedrusHunt 577 points578 points  (120 children)

    Someone make a throwaway account, post the same thing with sexes reversed

    [–][deleted] 636 points637 points  (63 children)

    Not now. A month or so is a good idea.

    [–]AmatureProgrammer 110 points111 points  (2 children)

    Keep us updated. In curious as to how this will turn out.

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

    [–]naturalheightgainer 56 points57 points  (4 children)

    !RemindMe 2 weeks

    RemindMe! 2 weeks

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

    [–]Elliott3000 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Or just see if op will switch roles. Come out and say “I’m actually the mother in this relationship”.

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

    [–]DoctorCarder69 24 points25 points  (4 children)

    Please do this in like 2-3 weeks and let us see the results and post on TRP it will be interesting.

    [–]1kenpachitz 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    RemindMe! 4 weeks

    This should be fun

    [–]Noveno 12 points13 points  (4 children)

    RemindMe! 3 weeks

    Seriously I wanna laugh

    [–]alleyteris 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    !RemindMe 2 weeks RemindMe! 2 weeks that will be interesting

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    yup it was 3 months instead of 2 weeks but someone still did it: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

    [–]Luckylancer96 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Remind me! 4 weeks

    !Remind me 4 weeks

    Guys i hope this remind stuff is not a troll bait lol

    [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    It has been done: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU

      [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 189 points190 points  (30 children)

      You don't need to do experiments when you already know the results.

      [–][deleted]  (21 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [removed]

          [–]Ali_knows 22 points23 points  (1 child)

          "Get a lawyer a soon as possible. You need to have a restraining order put up against this piece of shit. HE THREATENED TO HURT YOU GIRL. This is a crime. You have my full support my brave lady :)."

          [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Exactly, that plus men do not equal women. The experiment proves that water is wet and nothing more.

          [–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (6 children)

          I do this all the time when I've got down time and am curious to see human psychology at play...

          I post weeks after hoping the original has been forgotten about, tweak what I need to, let it run for a few days, than link to the original... I haven't done it in a while but it's amazing to see people's reactions and justifications... the lengths people will go through to preserve their ideology...

          [–]AnOddSeriesOfTubes 20 points21 points  (2 children)

          Do you have any links or specific commentary on some of your experiments? Or can you point me to any other experiments that have been done in this realm?

          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

          I wish I did, like I said it's been a while, (I generally use fresh throwaway accounts, that would be my only advice, as it's happened a time or two where people look into your history).

          Try it out if you want, next time you find a sexist bullshit post, take it, switch the nouns and post it... I never put much energy into it. It doesn't always "take" but every now and again you get some mind boggling replies, it's great when people can have honest conversations about the hypocrisy of it all (it has happened where people were able to admit unfair double standards).

          [–]MickMensa 12 points13 points  (1 child)

          I'd be very interested to see some of these

          [–]StillHigh09 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          flip the sexes nad it will be KIDS DESERVE THE TRUTH THEY NEED TO KNOW WHOS THE MONSTER WHO DESTROYED THE FAMILY blahblabblah. I dont know how this shit is frightening and funny at the same time.

          [–]AnOddSeriesOfTubes 12 points13 points  (3 children)

          Can we decide on what the throwaway account name will be now so I can search for the post later?

          Can we name it “ThrowAwayDeathThreats123” or something. I really want to see this.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [removed]

            [–]sometimespredictable 439 points440 points  (61 children)

            Someone treats you terribly (betraying your trust, ruining your marriage). But you are the bad person by just telling people about it. These people being old enough to form their own opinions. What the fuck is this logic?

            Maybe we shouldn't report crimes now. It may hurt the criminal's feelings. And ruin their relationship with their family if they found out. That is called "emotional manipulation" yo.

            [–][deleted] 257 points258 points  (30 children)

            Infidelity definitely hurt our kids. In fact, the reason I found out was because it did.

            I was on a business trip for a weekend and my wife was in charge of the household for those two days. My kids had this event at their school (I think it was a game or a competition) around 8 PM or so. Anyways, their mother said she would pick them up. The event ended around 10 PM. She arrived past midnight.

            Fortunately, there were custodians in the building but my kids waited in a nearly abandoned building for two hours in the dead of night. They told me immediately once I came back. My wife told me she had some "work" to attend to. Bullshit.

            With a little bit of digging, I found her Tinder profile. She was having sex with a random guy instead of picking up her own kids.

            [–]Ramasama 94 points95 points  (1 child)

            You're a good dad. Your kids are better off not being around such a psycho bitch.

            [–][deleted]  (11 children)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (1 child)

              Thanks for the support. I will check it out when I have time.

              [–]TomHicks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Report her threats to the police. Show her threats to your lawyer, and ask him if its useful in securing a more favorable custody/support arrangement for you.

              [–]cuggwy 36 points37 points  (7 children)

              I can't comment on if your a good dad or even a good person I know very little. I can't even comment about your wife as I know only what you have told us. But I do know that at 15 and 16 your children have a right to know and can make their own decisions. Good on you

              [–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (6 children)

              That was my reasoning as well. It made me a little dejected how people were calling me abusive and just like my father but all that did was reaffirm that I did the right thing. Those people remind me of the same scumbags that revered my father and ignored the abuse we faced under his rule.

              [–]alleyteris 18 points19 points  (0 children)

              Well as people here say : you dont find theredpill , but theredpill finds you, so when you have time read the sidebar , buckle up your seatbelt cause it is going to be a bumpy ride!

              welcome to the red pill

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

              Most people will side with abusers in any setting (while telling themselves they are supporting "what's"/"who's" right, needless to say!)

              They will "condemn violence" and "be against violence", but what violence? The out-moded one society no longer approves of (while it supports and approves new, more feminine types of violence); and the violent (usually direct and visible and loud) reaction of the trampled-on and abused against the abusers (who, being Those with the Power, enjoy to do their violence in a disguised indirect way).

              That's what you can expect from the others.

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

              The thing about abusive people is that often times hey are extremely charismatic, powerful, and manipulative. I hated my father but he was one of the most revered men living in my city. Every time he spoke he had this calm sense of solemn authority that everyone obeyed. It's no surprise he was able to mask his psychotic tendencies so well. He was wealthy, respected, authoritative, and powerful.

              [–]Writs_For_Your_Tits 7 points8 points  (1 child)

              I feel for you man. Your situation rips my heart out. I just wanted to say that given the circumstance you held pretty strong in your legal advice thread. Personally, I am a fan of the no prisoners approach here. You might consider that your kids will feel better in the long run if they are able to make a full clean break from their mother. And on the other side, I'd say that how you react will teach them how to react. Were I in your shoes, I'd probably do what you're already doing, just let your ex damn herself. Tell the kids that she is broken and needs to be loved, but also show them what a monster she is by straight up showing them what she's doing/saying. Maybe situations like yours can help this subreddit build a "what to do in a divorce" compendium. I already know of one such post in the sidebar, but when you feel there is closure you might consider making a post in TRP on what steps you took.

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              I will consider it, thank you. Having lives under a military household, I know quite a bit, perhaps too much, about how a man make himself to be this God and mask his true personality.

              [–]beta_no_mo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              I was overseas and getting texts from my 12 year-old daughter, who was apparently home alone with he younger sister, asking if I knew where mom was. She'd been gone for nearly four hours to "get ice cream from the store", leaving at 8pm to do so.

              [–]1Original_Dankster 7 points8 points  (1 child)

              Dude I was going to make a throwaway account just to send you a link to this discussion. Glad you're here.

              Those critics on the legal advice threads are absolutely toxic, just like your soon to be ex wife. If you're honest with your kids you're in the right.

              Simple really. Truth, even uncomfortable truth, is morally superior to convenient lies.

              Blows my mind they can't grasp that concept.

              [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              Lying would only reinforce to my children that infidelity is okay and that lying to cover up someone else's consequences is fine. It is not. Infidelity should never be tolerated and unless you risk losing everything, do not lie.

              [–]nrafield 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I had actually went through the opposite of this myself when I was 13 or 14, where my mother broke up with my dad cause he cheated on her, though it was in Russia and they'd actually found a compromise after the initial fallout, the news didn't really fly far and no one cared.

              It actually did in fact fuck me up for quite a while, especially since this occured after my mother forced me to visit dad's working place {where he also lived for time being} and we found him in bed with a girl. Then she spent what seemed like an infinity yelling at him until I could not take it anymore and just went home trying to understand what just happened.

              Anyway, what I'd got out of this is whoever flips out in front of their kids over this is definitely in the wrong. So don't let anyone tell you that your ex-wife threatening to kill you is your fault. And isn't it funny how women not being treated equally compared to men is a huge issue, yet when it comes to death threats the argument is "95 percent of familly annihilators are male"?

              [–]struebz 44 points45 points  (1 child)

              Imagine if the story was switched up with her being cheated on. How many people would have just called him a worthless cheating pig and he would have never stood a chance at 50/50 custody. People are always so ready to blame the guy.

              [–][deleted]  (24 children)

              [removed]

                [–]OMGLOLTHC_ 65 points66 points  (10 children)

                i cannot begin to explain how happy this makes me. reddit has become a leftist faggot cry parade with a hate white men cherry on top.

                i'm damn near done with reddit and the rest of the internet.

                [–]Seoul_Brother 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                I was a Hillary supporter (and still consider myself left leaning in terms of how I view politics), but after witnessing so much women's rights BS I've seen and the different kind of movements emerging and even denouncing something I once ardently believed in (feminism), I believe we are starting to reach critical mass for this shit. After my "redpill awakening" almost three years ago and realizing just how good women had it in today's society while still complaining and bitching about wanting more, I realized just how solipsistic and hypergamous women were and just how cringey their orbiters and white knights were. I thought Hillary was a shoe-in, Trump proved otherwise, and here I am today thinking this is exactly what we need.

                To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Though this mostly applies to chemistry and physics, I also believe that society has a similar push and pull dynamic as well. There is a reason why this sub is growing in number and slowly becoming more mainstream.

                I read the quote on this sub that directly relates to Newton's Third Law that I mentioned above: "Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times."

                Everything reaches equilibrium one way or another, so just ride out the "crazy leftist cry parade." They'll get theirs eventually. This opposite reaction just takes longer than a science experiment.

                [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Seoul_Brother 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  TRP is not about politics, and I know what direction you're steering this conversation (which is not the point of my comment). All you need to know is that I once supported Hillary, but I know see that Trump, TRP, and embracing of what these social justice warriors call "Toxic Masculinity" might be the equalizer society in the US needs.

                  [–]LuvBeer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                  I'm sure there are worse, but even some city and police subs are particularly bad, for example downplaying the racial element to crimes and promoting equalist garbage. Of course, nothing on the subs warns you that there is a political slant so unless you try to post (helloooooo shadow ban) you have no idea.

                  [–]o0joshua0o 12 points13 points  (2 children)

                  You guys are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I'm pretty liberal, and I like a lot of the posts on this sub. You can do that and also not be a Putin Donald acolyte.

                  [–]Its_the_other_tj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  Indeed. I was (still am really) a moderate libertarian but with the gop nonsense in the last decade or so i find myself aligning more closely with moderate democrats. I also preach a number of redpill values and happen to be in a stable long term relationship. We don't all have to check off all the boxes all the time to believe in the same ideals.

                  [–]RinterTinter 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                  leftist

                  Yeah i think you mean liberal

                  [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

                  I can't believe how these people are okay with cheating.

                  Hey /U/akavinceblack

                  I don't condone rape but if your spouse denies you sex repeatedly, I can see why someone does that.

                  How does that sound?

                  [–][deleted] 304 points305 points  (37 children)

                  Straight up idiots, all of them. His kids are 15 and 16, they have a right to know why their parents are getting a divorce. Pretty much my whole childhood involved my parents talking shit about each other and getting us in the middle of their divorce, so I completely agree that you shouldn't talk shit about your ex to your kids. But at 15 and 16 years old you're insulting them by not being open and honest with them. If they decide they don't want to see their mother because of what she did, that's her fault.

                  [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 134 points135 points  (15 children)

                  My parents pretended everything was alright and I didn't really figure my mom was ho'ing around until I was older. I did not forgive her.

                  [–]JJ3314 90 points91 points  (12 children)

                  Yeah, while I know it’s hard, but if an older (independent) child finds out that mom’s whoring was the cause of the divorce, I view it as their moral duty to make her life miserable over that fact. The punishment has to come from somewhere, and society as a whole gives these women a free pass with dad being the whipping boy. Redpilled sons of such women need to take this at heart, even though familial bonds can create a type of Stockholm syndrome mentality amongst kids for their moms.

                  [–][deleted] 100 points101 points  (4 children)

                  I'm shocked the kids followed the dad and cut her off. Those are good children. These are the types of kids we should we raising. I'm glad that good fathers exist.

                  [–]LordDongler 44 points45 points  (3 children)

                  They probably already knew she was nuts, tbh

                  And they probably don't care to see all of her boyfriends now that their parents are seperared. If anyone wants to look at textbook narsicism, I suspect the ex wife is an example

                  [–]Ramasama 26 points27 points  (0 children)

                  Go look at the sub "raisedbynarcissists". It's mostly about batshit crazy moms. What a fucking shocker.

                  [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (5 children)

                  I was hard on my mom for my parents divorce but I was also hard on my dad, they both failed at the relationship, he shouldn't have fucked around as much as he did and been more mindful to everyone's needs, she left him for the first guy who promised to essentially take better care of her (her boss at the time) with no regards to anything else.

                  I honestly checked out of both relationships and became largely independent (even left home at 17, while I was still in highschool) and while I wound up improving my relationship later in life with both my parents, the amount of shit testing and deniability I saw from both parents was astounding and I was estranged from both during times and it's only when they stopped the shit testing and denying their faults when I finally took our relationships more serious. (Having supportive parents is better than not having supportive parents, so I'm glad I stuck up for myself and demanded a better deal than they were both willing to give).

                  If I was the kids in the above scenario, I'd let moms know I'm not very happy with her behavior and that she'd need to earn my respect again if she wants it. I'd tell her to ease up on pops and to not fault him for what she did. As for pops, I'd tell him to get over it, even at 15/16, I'm grown enough to make my own decisions and fight my own battles, I don't need my parents feuding and rather he butt the fuck out of mine and my mothers relationship (however fickle it would be). I'd tell him "if mom has any issues with what's happening, tell her to talk to me, not you."

                  This is essentially what i did with my parents in a round about way... similar but different situation (I think it's comparable).

                  [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    I feel for you, that's a tough situation to come out of but I encourage you to keep working at it, little by little. If it's any consolation, I was around your age when things started turning, late 20's... it's not about being perfect, it's just about being better. Best thing to do is to ensure you don't have negative influences around you, so if any women, or even friends, coworkers, family, if any of them are causing drama or bad influence, ditch them (and tell them why), they aren't worth it if they don't give a fuck about how they are negatively affecting you.

                    [–]untonyto 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    Accept the past, love yourself, reject victimhood.

                    [–]NorthEasternNomad 23 points24 points  (2 children)

                    My mother left my father after cheating on him. With his best friend. Some friend, right? The guy was a nomad, worked six.months a year and my dad gave him a place to stay while he was in town, off work.

                    And how did he repay my father? By consciously undermining his relationship.

                    Then, my Mom invented a story about how my dad cheated, spent 15 years with one, then another neglectful, abusive guy.

                    She finally married a good man. Gave her the world. Let my deadbeat, do nothing sister (not his kid) live with them despite her being 22 and NEVER holding a job. Let my Mom's deadbeat mother live out her final year there...despite having walked out on my mother and leaving her to foster homes...

                    And my Mom cheats on him, with her sister's boyfriend, for MONTHS (she admitted it) before leaving him.

                    But I am the bad guy for not wanting a person like my mother in my life.

                    Fuck her. I don't treat with toxic people. Don't care whether I am related to them.or not. When people ask now, i just tell them my mom is dead... because to me, she is.

                    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                    No good deed goes unpunished.

                    Or as somebody else puts it: gratitude is a burden, revenge is a pleasure. Revenge for what? For having been helped! lol

                    (Read Greene's 48 Laws of Power for a complete treaty on this theme).

                    [–]NorthEasternNomad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    I'm going to grab that book. Should have read 20 years ago...alas, Young is pretty much the antithesis of Wise.

                    Edit: pleasant surprise of the day, I already own the book. Bought in a Kindle sale right before my old phone died, promptly forgot about the purchase.

                    Might be the best $4.99 purchase I ever made.

                    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]throwaway-aa2 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                      It's incredible how obvious this should be to rationale breathing humans. You REALIZE you're going to have a working relationship with your kids as they become adults. You realize that kids find out about most of their parents bullshit. And guess what? They're not going to just let it slide that you lied to them. They're going to put distance (whether that be actual distance, or emotional space) between you. It's not worth it.

                      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                      I could be wrong but aren't kids above 14 in control of what form of relationship they wish to have with divorced parents. When my folks split, My siblings went with my dad, me with my mother, and when they turned 14, they chose to leave my dad and come live with me. There were no visitation rights, we still saw my dad but periodically and no one could do anything about anything because it was my siblings choice... (my dad obviously didn't want it happening but it happened anyway).

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [removed]

                        [–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (20 children)

                        Didn't think my post would cause this much uproar within reddit communities.

                        [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

                        my post

                        I have read one of the responses which people gave you:

                        In telling your kids, you hurt them. Jesus dude, take some responsibility. You did a shitty thing. If you would just own that, people would be less on your case.

                        They're mobbing you to take the blame for your ex wife for her unacceptable behavior, they're not only absolving her from guilt but they want to transfer it to you.

                        Don't even respond to them, it's like talking to a wall.

                        You didn't do anything wrong, she did it to herself and she's mad that she got caught and now has to take some responsibility.

                        Fucking cucks, they don't understand you because they're enjoying watching their wifes getting fucked.

                        btw. Are you sure these are your biological kids?

                        [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                        Nothing will change their mind and its not worth trying. I'll be fine, thank you for the support.

                        As for them being my biological kids, yes they are. I got a paternity test for both of them shortly after birth.

                        [–]nerfation 33 points34 points  (1 child)

                        Man, good on you for handling it with class. I hope you start hitting the gym and getting back into things. much respect

                        [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

                        I always hit the gym and thank you.

                        Hitting the gym is honestly a fundamental of life. I've always stressed exercise and physical fitness and my kids adore working out. My wife was also very much a fitness buff.

                        [–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 24 points25 points  (11 children)

                        That's because there's a war on men/masculinity. Luckily the people that wage that war are pretty incompetent.

                        Good on you for telling your kids. My father should have told me. I would have cut contact with my mother sooner and it would have saved years of wasted energy.

                        Or maybe I still would have waited long, but then at least it would have been my mistake to make.

                        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (7 children)

                        A war might be a stretch but it does seem that people are way too soft now. We need discipline and honor in our children's lives. Promoting infidelity goes against everything that an honorable person stands for.

                        [–]SovereignSoul76 20 points21 points  (6 children)

                        A war might be a stretch...

                        You were roundly berated for telling your grown children the truth about something. She did something awful, and YOU are the villain for not helping to cover it up. This is the SOP/societal norm/zeitgeist of zero accountability for women, in action.

                        ...You can call it what you want though.

                        [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (5 children)

                        Good point. I'm still shocked at how people managed to portray me as an abusive messiah type figure.

                        But hey, I grew up in a situation where my father was a psychopath and people revered him as an icon.

                        [–]indecencies 10 points11 points  (3 children)

                        Man, I really just sincerely hope you don't fall for the trap those people are trying to lay for you. I say this with all my heart, you are not wrong for what you are doing. You are right. I wish you nothing but the best in this time of your struggles brother.

                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                        I've learned a lot over my life. I always learn from my mistakes.

                        [–]Ganaria_Gente 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Dude. Never see her again.

                        And don't go to legal advice sub anymore. They're full of supremacists, as you've experienced directly just now

                        [–]casemodz 132 points133 points  (1 child)

                        This is 100% women trying to cover their own ass and trying to manipulate other while doing so.

                        If a man would have done something to warrant a divorce, you can bet the mother would be talking shit every day about it.

                        She cheated. The kids are old enough to know. There is nothing wrong here. Don't be a cheating whore if you don't want your kids to find out maybe

                        [–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 82 points83 points  (25 children)

                        Crazy. The only reason this guy was able to do the smart thing despite the heaps and heaps of people telling him to feel ashamed is that he seems vaguely aspie himself from his comments.

                        On some level to deal properly with a sociopathic system (lawyers, family court, visitation agreements, no fault divorce, alimony, child support, women, etc) you have to be able to think sociopathically yourself. Scorched earth - burn it to the ground and rebuild.

                        Because if you don't play to win versus someone who is playing to win, you lose. What this guy did is smartly break his ex down mentally by forcing her to face consequences for her actions, and then hold out long enough until her will to screw him over broke down into general despondence and hopelessness.

                        Alienate, isolate, keep them hopeless, and then you come through and present them a way out. Like they are in the bottom of a well and you have the only rope and light.

                        This is how you have to deal with women who try to screw you over using weaponized sociopathic systems at their disposal. Often to do this you have to be somewhat aspie yourself, because you have to fully believe that you're important enough, that you are so in the right that it's OK to do whatever it takes. This is how women play the game - she was happy to kill him after she was cheating on him.

                        That jolted him into a stunted survival mode where he was willing to fight with fire. If she never did that, and instead had paid for great legal counsel on his dime, she'd likely have her payday, her kids, and would be banging her new dude in military husband's house.

                        The rest of the world is happy enough to have you be an indentured servant, just working away and sending money (through the court of course) to your wife and kids who enjoy their wife without you.

                        If you aren't willing to fight for your life and home one day and potentially lose despite doing everything right... don't fucking marry.

                        [–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (12 children)

                        In the original BOLA thread, I commented that this guy was doing this really well. He was emotionally firm, smart, and manipulating the situation to a scenario that benefited him. That's textbook badassery. I got banned but it was worth it. I wonder if this guy has been on here.

                        On another note, I read through his own comments and apparently he had an incredibly abusive child hood (his father stabbed him with a knife for hanging out with his high school gf). It made me so fucking angry to see people call this clearly damaged and betrayed guy a "monster" and a "sociopath". I am disgusted

                        [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (2 children)

                        i hate how we live in a society where people think "ban/delete" is better than discussing issues. People are pathetic. But in the end, it really doesn't fucking matter, this guy is still gonna do whatever the fuck he's going to do and rightfully so. If he thinks he's going to get fucked over in the end, he owes it to himself to protect himself, god knows his x-wife sure as fuck isn't going to provide a reasonable solution to their situation.

                        You can't reason with sheer insanity.

                        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                        Yep. I wouldnt trust his ex wife cunt with anything. If I was her, I would go full on barbaric. Id destroy her completely.

                        [–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 24 points25 points  (6 children)

                        It's a common theme amongst reddit and it has roots in movies/tv, which is how most of these redditors develop their world view. Essentially any strong male who is willing to fight hard against some social grain is "damaged" and a "sociopath". Kind of like every guy who's a womanizing playboy actually is damaged and unhappy and has momma issues.

                        The guy does come off a little retarded sometimes, and I think he has a super simplistic view that will bite him in the butt (that part where he's describing how his wife will behave rationally and logically, or how just because wife "chose option 1" now the problem is solved forever. Like no, just no, she will need to get revenge somehow to not feel like he walked over her, and she will have to poison the well against him, and he needs to actually document and report her threats. Towards the end he's settling for a draw instead of pushing for a win, and if his exwife is smart, she can still fuck him.

                        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

                        Yeah I agree. I was so wishing for him to just utterly annihilate her. Maybe he's biding his times until his kids are in the clear. He seems to have raised his kids very well. Nowadays simps raise their kids to be pussies and the typical "kid" would side with his mother regardless of their crimes. It's refreshing to see those smart kids have some values and cut her off.

                        edit: what does aspie mean

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                        I said in another comment that people raise their kids to be sheep. They don't raise kids to think critically and think for themselves.

                        Someone was whinging about how men lose their kids in divorce and I don't think this is the case if you raise strong independent kids. They will see through bullshit and call out anyone who's responsible for it.

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        Yeah his kids seemed smart. He should introduce himself and them to TRP. Props on him for raising kids that wont tolerate something disgusting like cheating

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        It made me so fucking angry to see people call this clearly damaged and betrayed guy a "monster" and a "sociopath". I am disgusted

                        That's what "people" do :) Healthy, functional people I mean.

                        When they see someone on the ground, they go congratulate/praise/admire who knocked him on the ground, while blaming the knocked-down one as if he had knocked himself down and nobody was responsible or had brought him into his condition.

                        You'd say "people" are quite hard wired to side with "winners", bastards who are better at lying and manipulating, and rationalizing it as ethical...

                        [–]metallicdrama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        You can read red pills all day and never be redpilled. Experience and self-honesty about it is the only true redpill. People who don’t see the dark side are delusional. It’s just another side to a coin. When you see both sides clearly all you see is one coin.

                        [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (7 children)

                        This guys first mistake was marrying a female like this...

                        You just never ever get involved with women like this (at all costs). Being alone and sexless is better than risking getting one of these women knocked up.

                        [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

                        Im willing to give this guy some slack. Read some of his comments. Apparently he had an incredibly abusive childhood and his wife was the first person he romantically "loved" (apart from his family)

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        Oh, I agree with you.

                        I didn't mean to make it sound like I was attacking or questioning him in any way, just sort of giving context to people who aren't him (ie: you want to avoid his situation, don't get involved with women like this).

                        Sort of like a cautionary tail, it's sad that they exist but when we do stumble upon them, I think it's important to highlight how important it is to absolutely avoid these kinds of females at all costs.

                        [–]RedPillCoach 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                        if you don't play to win versus someone who is playing to win, you lose

                        This just might be my official coaching motto.

                        [–]jackandjill22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        There are always tons of guys who pass through the bitch. But after musical chairs is over the last one there's always the one that's tossed beneath the Fucking bus.

                        [–]ThrowFader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        yeah he had a terrible childhood

                        [–]Gettingaware 36 points37 points  (11 children)

                        This reminds me of that story in the 48 laws of power.

                        Hopefully someone knows which law im talking about.

                        Anyways in the story, all the jungle animals gather around to make amends because the water hole runs dry or some shit like that, so they assume the gods are mad at them.

                        The lion says hes sorry for tricking the small animals and eating them, and all the animals emphatically see from his POV and forgive him. This goes on and on with each animal asking for forgiveness and they all agree they all only did what was right to survive.

                        Then comes along the donkey. The donkey in the story admits to also slipping up, maybe eating more leaves than he should have, that one time. All the animals gather round and decide the donkey is at fault for his heinous crime, and sacrafice him.

                        The moral of the story for me is if people see you as a donkey you better never admit to any wrong doing.

                        Because the more and more i notice how true this story is.

                        From that scientist who wore that shirt of the scantly clad women, who asked forgiveness and was further chastised, to simpish begful men who are depised by fat walrus women.

                        Society hates betas and they will rip you apart for it if you ask for forgiveness. Most of you fake alphas do it here too. Like the good little sheep you were programmed to be.

                        But anyways my point is... maintaining frame is essential in life and a large part is not walking around asking for forgiveness, and the more you do that the more youll see how often theyll try and shame you and how little it will affect you.

                        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (9 children)

                        Yeah,I'm a little ashamed he apologized to his wife. He handled it well IMO (I especially loved how he emphasized power and control) but he should never have apologized even if it was to get her favor to his own benefit.

                        But he did alright. He should check out this sub

                        [–]tallwheel 1 point2 points  (7 children)

                        He should have never made a reddit thread in the first place. He didn't do anything wrong, and he shouldn't need strangers on the Internet to validate or give advice about it.

                        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                        I'm glad he did. The blatant sexism, reverence for infidelity, and victim blaming is stunning.

                        [–]tallwheel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        It's great for us. We get to see the results. But it probably didn't turn out to be the best move for him.

                        [–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove 252 points253 points  (8 children)

                        Decades of a gynocentric society and feminizing brainwashing of our men was never intended for macro reasons, it was intended for small things like this.

                        Feminization and its tentacles getting into a million different nooks and crannies of everyday life and decisions has far more of a devastating effect on masculinity and men than feminization brushing up on 3 or 4 major things.

                        [–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (3 children)

                        This man was fucking merciful towards his ex and he's a monster. Someone in the thread literally called him a narcissistic abuser and armchair psychologists try to "diagnose" him.

                        He came into the thread a few times (the BOLA update one) and tried to defend himself but got fucking trashed by these idiots.

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                        [removed]

                          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          They can be programmed to go for, or against, anything and anybody.

                          That's the masses, guys.

                          Like in those men's case, they can be programmed to go against themselves as easily as any other target.

                          [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 22 points23 points  (2 children)

                          TBH I don't think anyone could have imagined it would go this far. They might have thought it would soften things a touch, not openly welcome being demoted to single mother with a penis and expected to take your suppository with a smile.

                          [–]ohHeyRightOn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                          I think this perspective doesn't get enough credence. The modern SJW cults evolved out of the civil rights, women's suffrage, and anti-war movements that were actually noble in their pursuits. Now all they have is a hammer and every problem looks like nails.

                          [–]RedPillCoach 25 points26 points  (1 child)

                          Somebody needs to post the converse story on this reddit. Philandering husband cheats and wife tells teenage kids. The chorus will have absolutely no problem with the wife and will castigate the cheating husband.

                          [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (1 child)

                          Cucks. All of them. Every cuck who posted in that thread deserves to get cheated on. Then they can bitch about it on reddit and wonder where they went wrong.

                          Edit: I just read the original post. I went down and people actually think OP should have lied to his kids. What the fuck.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Transparency is a bane of evil. Scum feminazi's understand this well.

                          [–]hammerhearth 79 points80 points  (9 children)

                          You will lose half your potential assets if you marry. You will lose your children if you have children.

                          The winning move for men who want to marry and have children is to not marry and not have children.

                          [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (2 children)

                          Fortunately for him his kids seem to love him dearly and listen to him without question. Plus they seem to be raised well with values if they were willing to cut off a whore cheater from their life just like that.

                          [–]hammerhearth 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                          Yes, but custody for the father won't happen until the kids are deemed old enough to decide for themselves.

                          [–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                          The daughter is 15 and the son is 16. He'll be fine tbh

                          [–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

                          You just need to find the right one.

                          That's what they keep telling me, anyway. Heard it again today, in fact.

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          lol

                          surely some are more right than the rest — in the sense that they are less wrong...

                          but that's it

                          [–]anonanonetc 28 points29 points  (1 child)

                          Man, you called it. The whole time I’m just thinking “I don’t even have to think about this because those kids are basically fucking adults.”

                          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          I asked this in another comment... I'm pretty sure they can make a legal decision as to whether or not they want to see their mother... isn't that age set for 14 where kids have that sort of power/decision making?

                          [–]RustScientist 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                          Most women will never understand how easy they have it in life.

                          [–]SgtSplacker 13 points14 points  (3 children)

                          My bud is having issues with his marriage. The skinny is that his wife is abusive and physical with him and he has a minor drug problem. I'm talking to my girl about this and she tells me my friend is lucky to have her. I just sat there and asked her if she would feel the same with the tables being turned, with the woman having the drug problem and the man being the abusive one. Would she be "lucky" to have him then? She couldn't even answer me.

                          If you are a white hetro male, nobody is on your side man. No matter what.

                          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          She couldn't even answer me.

                          Have you considered leaving her? She seems like my "ex" — they are solipsistic machines built to support other females, and see themselves at war with every male (including their "boyfriend").

                          [–]Herdsengineers 12 points13 points  (3 children)

                          my ex-wife cheated, among other things. i divorced over it when all the shit came out. son was 3. he's 13 now. he's asked why we divorced, i haven't told him. but when he's 18 i intend to tell him.

                          and fuck whether it damages his relationship with his mother. if truth does that, it shows how destructive cheating on a spouse really is. him learning the truth isn't what does the damage. the cheating does the damage. it hurts your kids. but my son deserves to know when he's old enough to take in stride. hopefully he learns by example not to cheat, and what to do if he gets cheated on.

                          [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                          and fuck whether it damages his relationship with his mother

                          It's her actions who damaged your family and your relationships to each other. Never forget that. Telling the truth can never be "doing damage".

                          [–]quicklogaccount 28 points29 points  (2 children)

                          There you are, fellows. Learn, don't whine.

                          • Strength and doing the right thing gathers no sympathy. Exposing pain and weakness, on the other hand, does. A life is worth its capacity of EXPRESSING pain. When you need people's sympathy, EXPRESS pain;
                          • Men aren't victims, and if they are they need to be hurt and with deep flesh wounds. "About a year ago my wife and I got divorced because of her infidelity. The divorce was just awful." doesn't come from a hurt man, so he won't ever be seen as a victim. If he's not a victim, no one will see things from his side. His pain is deserved;
                          • Women are presumed victims, everyone looks at things by the victim's side. Their violence is justified because they "felt" threatened.

                          Think of a narrative like this:

                          About one year ago something happened to me, which led to my ex wife making death threats to me.
                          For the last months that we spent together, I knew that our marriage was on rocky grounds. My wife was constantly upset, we were fighting constantly, she was really frustrated. Every time we talked about it we agreed on finding a way out, for our family, and our children. In my mind, she was upset because our "children" were actually a 15yo girl and a 16yo boy, cutting their cords, full of their own ideas and desires and going away from their mother's wings.
                          I thought I understood her ailment, so I sucked it up and compromised. A lot of times. Many times she said things that brought me down to my knees, a lot of times I thought of her as an abuser that was undermining my self esteem. A lot of times I thought that things would be easier if I put some work on detaching and stop loving her. But I was doing all that to preserve our family, and a family in which a father doesn't love the mother isn't a family at all. So, I endured.
                          This all came to a bitter end for me when I found out about her infidelity about one year ago. At first I tried to lie to myself, but then every time she said something to put me down I'd go down sobbing. I trusted her to give me support if I ever became that vulnerable. Funny thing is, my impulse was talking to my wife about what was happening! But it wouldn't work.
                          On the days following me finding out I couldn't work. I tried, but I wouldn't focus. HR warned me about my loss of productivity, so I told them what was happening. It was only then that someone warned me I was in a dysfunctional relationship, which aided me in making a decision. I asked for some time off, and would file for a divorce, so I could recover and focus on my children.
                          The process was a horror show. The legal system has no empathy for cheated on people. Every time I commented on how my now ex wife acted towards me, someone would say "even if that is true, proving it is too hard, so we can't use it in court". In the end, thank god, when it came to our sons, it was all sorted out. They would still have two parents after all, none would be alienated by the law, which was the best I could expect from it all. When it came to her and myself, things were different. I was trying really hard to forgive and not to resent her, I had been going to therapy to try to sort myself out, I managed to convince her to get into couple's counseling to help us finding how to best handle things with our sons, despite her persistent protests of "we're divorced, why would we do couple's anything? Would you please let me live my life now?"
                          But as I said, our "children" weren't children, they're teenagers, intelligent, observant, and they couldn't help but notice whenever I sobbed, that I gained a lot of weight and was binge eating sometimes, so at some point the my asked me what happened. I thought of lying to her, but she's older and wiser than she had to be to be fooled with some excuse and lie I'd fail to sustain. And I told her, that her mother and I had divorced due to her infidelity.
                          Now, they're teenagers, with their own opinions, and own attitudes, and they're having a hard time forgiving her. It WILL end. But now she somehow turned this all on me and is threatening to kill me. I fear that she has the intent and the resources to do it, but I'm afraid to go to the police and be laugh at, because I'm a man,and they never spared any comment, "you're just feeling emasculated because she cheated, grow some balls".
                          How can I proceed?

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          report all threats to the police

                          • you did right by telling your offspring the truth (hopefully they'll take the right attitude towards their "mother", which is to turn their backs on her).

                          [–]Jonmad17 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                          This is the most disgusting thing i've read in a long time. It's the sort of nonsense that makes you wish you lived on a different continent with a different culture.

                          [–]drkinferno72 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                          Next thing you know it's another reddit post where the mom kills the kids.

                          Seen it before, god help them

                          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                          The shitty thing is NO ONE bought that up. God, this pussy worship is so fucked up. No wonder my own mother literally restricts me from dating.

                          [–]ThrowFader 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          its kinda sad that this happens an most people don't catch it.

                          Women are actually more capable of violence towards kids then men are.

                          Shocker

                          [–]drkinferno72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Women violence tends to be more subtle. They either get a male to do the work for them, they poison their families, or hurt someone smaller.

                          [–]longjeep2005 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                          Commenter: "Just to point out that the vast majority of family annihilators are male. Approximately 95%."

                          LOL I wonder where they get this information? The hamster?

                          [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                          That fact isn't even necessary either. Moronic toxic bigots

                          [–]LukesLikeIt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          If she wants to make the promise to be loyal in front of her friends and family at her wedding then they should dam well get to know when she isn’t

                          [–]danoranika 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                          Who else vomited at the first comment?

                          [–]DirtyBastard13 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                          At that age, kids are old enough to understand and want real answers. But this is a clear symptom of the fallen time we live in.

                          [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                          Cancerous cucks, the lot of them.

                          [–]twy3440 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          15 and 16 year olds understand infidelity and they deserve the truth.

                          [–]precisionclear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                          The "children" are teenagers about to leave home, become adults, and attend college. They should be warned that their mother is making death threats, so one day she doesn't pull up in a car, invite them to a remote location, and dump their bodies in the Woods somewhere.

                          I'm impressed this is mentioned in the og thread, it gets thumbed down, while a response, "Most killers are men" get thumbed up. As if that's an appropriate rebuttal.

                          [–]masculine_spirit 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                          How is the truthful manipulation negative? Those people have issues.

                          [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                          Classic projection. They even go as far as justifying her cheating and calling the father a narcisstic abuser

                          [–]AboomalavaU 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                          I had something similar happen to me. "Mom" of our then 2 yr old boy took off and then came back into our lives when he was 4 by way of notification of an expedited hearing the following week.

                          The day of the hearing, i was pretty confident because she left for her own stupiid, selfish reasons. I was never abusive, i provided for her, and paid for things i should not have, and fucked her silly nearly every day. I also tolerated her nonsensical BS view of life all the while "leading by example" and tactfully conveying to her more or less "no" and "why" when she wanted me to participate with or support her through one of her many foolish notions which were 9 times out of 10 was engineered by her to get out of doing her part (aside from sex) around the house.

                          While i had plenty of evidence to support her abandoning and otherwise, poor parenting what little she WAS around, she had lie after lie to tell the judge. The thought of any judge siding with her was not only laughable, but ridiculous. To the point now...the results of the expedited hearing:

                          She was not even so much as required to have "supervised" visitation. She was granted immediate summer visitation the following day with our son, out of state, and he did not even know who she was. I was called a "child abuser" by the judge for telling our son "i dont know where your mommy is but i know she loves you"

                          She was even given all holidays for 2 yrs to "make up for lost time" since i, apparently, "kept her away." I only retained "temporary custody" because of "court tradition" which is "temporary custody to the parent who the child has been living with."

                          Theres plenty i'm leaving out which supports my side of things but you get it. Man, just typing all this pisses me off more. The system is not just "broken" it can be sick and twisted beyond belief.

                          [–]sublimeone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          If your a man family court is stacked against you from the beginning. I fucked my ex, but that ass hole judge fucked me. In America men don't have any fucking rights. It infuriayes me to think of that day and everything since.

                          [–]_orion 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                          the white knighting is so instilled in them that they are WK'n a girl they have no idea who she is where shes from or anything about her... but ya never know. its wrong for him to be honest with his kids, but mothers talk shit about their baby daddy's every day to make em out to be evil to kids.

                          [–]sublimeone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          There is nothing wrong with what he did.

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          sweet I just woke up and now I'm fucking pissed off!

                          so if one parent is say, a pedophile, does that mean the other parent shouldn't tell the kids because that's "driving a wedge" between the parent and kid. get fucked

                          [–]TheMassivePassive 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          You're a dumbass if you ask these male feminists on reddit for advice about anything.

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          N E V E R

                          E

                          V

                          E

                          R

                          get married.

                          This is the only "red pill" advice one needs to follow.

                          [–]2Dmva100 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                          This is why you don't be a 'Good Man.' Virtue and deceny is for faggots that can't offer anything else or have no value to begin with

                          They already brand you as the 'bad guy' because women must be seen as victims.

                          If you have kids and want to keep them, you have to sabotage and frame the mother for something that will allow you to take them away for good. Plant drugs in her car or something.

                          [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                          What's your opinion on how he dealt with the problem? I think he did it very well without going complete scorched earth

                          [–]3LiveAFTSOV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          His "very well" has gotten him nothing.

                          You either play to win, or don't play at all.

                          Never play just to tie.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [removed]

                            [–]PurpleDrank88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                            I didn't read your entire post, and I don't disagree with the general theme obviously. However, from a legal perspective the first comment you quoted isn't really all that off base. I don't like the make amends part or whatever, but the point about it being enough to take you to court and sue you over is absolutely true and people need to realize that and be careful when they're in the middle of a custody battle. Your spouse will take something like that and run with it and their lawyer will try and paint you as exactly what that first comment says...trying to drive a wedge between your spouse and the kids so they'll like you better or whatever and want you to have custody. Be careful in the things you say to your kids in the middle of a divorce/custody battle.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I believe the divorce was finished already in LAOP's case

                            [–]1Entropy-7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            I can't link to the archive posts (Great Firewall of China) so a lot of context is missing.

                            In general, you aren't supposed to try to alienate the children and the other parent and if it it is proved that you did there could be a change of custody (if you have it) or a reduction of visitation (if you are the non-custodial parent). However, it is really hard to prove.

                            The other point taken is that your relationship with your (ex)spouse is considered completely separate from the respective relationships with the children. This principle in practice tends to work in favour of the mother who is an X, Y and Z (and twice on Sundays) but the mantra still remains "she is a good mother!" Unfortunately, guys never seem to get the benefit of the doubt in these situations.

                            It gets me that the "children" are close to being young adults, and this is where the context comes in. If they come to the father with an honest but adult question about why the divorce (that he filed for?) then he can refuse to answer - and maybe risk alienating the kids himself - or lie (always the policy of choice if it benefits the woman I suppose) or tell them in the truth in an even handed way.

                            [–]ekobeko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            I'm just amazed by the responses saying he was out of order for telling his children THE TRUTH. If the wife wanted to smang other guys she could have sought a divorce first. She had a duty not just to her husband, but to her family (Since they decided to procreate).

                            [–]sixtynineningbeavers 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                            u/bug-hunter comment was hilariously deranged

                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            I think it’s good for kids to know if the mom cheated on the Dad.

                            [–]Anonymous_Caucasian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Fuck these people infuriate me. They're just so damn stupid.

                            [–]DownvotesOnlyDamnIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            This is why i love 4chan more than reddit. At least on 4chan you can discuss about roasties without fear of ban. On reddit, you even come close to praising someone who was clearly in the right, then you get banned.

                            Faggots of that subreddit should never be mods

                            [–]VanityKings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Ahh nice to be reminded just how worthless people on Reddit are.
                            Women dont even have to answer for their actions when a bunch of fat ugly neckbeard fucks will find an excuse to defend them and shift the blame.

                            [–]SnickeringBear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            There is one thing that nobody has focused on so far. The kids need to have appropriate protections in place when dealing with either parent if that parent is being abusive and manipulative. I spent the last 24 years showing my kids how to protect themselves from their mother's needy "take care of me" attitude. Couch this in terms of a divorce where my 9 year old daughter was manipulated into taking care of her siblings and her mother after her mother and I divorced. The ex rode the carousel high wide and with abandon for a year then settled down with hubby #2 followed a few years later with #3 and now with #4. The kids are adults now and have a better idea how to fend off the manipulation.

                            [–]thomascoopers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I honestly couldn't read past your first exert - I know people are just fucking horrible to men, but that was just..... Mind boggling. That poor man.

                            Un-fucking-believable.

                            [–]koncept61 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I don't see how telling the kids why they split is bad or alienation.

                            Infidelity is a legal cause for divorce. Simply telling the truth isn't alienation.

                            [–]mrbluesdude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Holy shit that was painful to read.. poor guy, honestly wtf is the world coming to, things are so blatantly fucked up. Ugh maybe I'm just a little buzzed tonight but this one triggered me a bit.

                            [–]lovecraftbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            par for the course for reddit

                            [–]brankec98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            (don't mind me just a shit reply) I don't think I've ever experienced getting triggered before, so this was quite interesting, thank you OP now I'm more familiar with myself.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            As someone from a broken home, everyone in that thread bashing on the father deserves to be shot.

                            [–]Shaman6624 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I know a woman who raised her children admirably well by herself after her husband cheated on her. She also told her children soon what really happened. Not because she wanted to let them hate her husband but because she thought they could handle the truth. They turned out fine. They do dislike their dad but for good reason.

                            Whoever is trying to protect 15 year olds from the cold reality of the world is a retard and should be forbidden to have children. Lucky for those kids they got an honest and direct dad. If they were raised by the people of those subreddits they probably couldn't even wipe their own butt at 18.

                            [–]apollosapien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Just another thing that has me believe Reddit is retarded.

                            [–]FerrusMan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                            You're right, OP in that thread is just getting savaged, with his actual reasonable questions and comments. And crazily downvoted. It's not some giant long story either, basically a short paragraph that he wrote.

                            Putting aside the commenters who are trolls, russians and neckbeards, you are left with women comments. And from a red pill perspective, this is a beta male standing up and fighting, and betas don't do that. She probably had a good reason to cheat, we just don't know it yet, but it most likely revolves around him not being man enough. Now this beta has ruined the family because he made the mother look bad, how dare him!

                            Stop and listen to the women around you when they think you aren't paying attention (which sadly is far easier than it should be). You will hear the same things being said right out in real life, just slightly toned down. There is great influence out there to be the good beta draft horse, the question is what kind of man do you want to be? And it can be done without even raising your voice or making threats.

                            [–]Socialist_Russia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Sad how if genders were reversed, the man would be totally vilified.

                            [–]crackcrack12 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                            Damn assholes giving unwanted armchair teachings on morality and ethics. Screw them

                            [–]crackcrack12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Great. Now I got banned at some random shit subreddit just for posting here.

                            [–]bookertwashingmachin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            If she didn't want her kids to know she's a dirty whore then she shouldn't be a dirty whore. If she's making death threats he should call the police and prosecute to the fullest.

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