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Red Pill TheoryIndicators Of Interest Suck - This Is The Real Way To Tell If A Girl Likes You (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Aghayden

Women will rarely tell you they’re attracted to you. Instead, they show interest through their actions.

One of the most common things a girl tells me before I bring her home with me is, " We're not having sex tonight." I've heard this at least ten times. Every time I heard that phrase, I ended up getting laid.

If I took what these women said literally, I never would have invited them back to my place (why waste my time?) But I knew they were interested in me, not because of what these women said, but because of how they acted. Indicators of Interest

Women will show their interest in a variety of ways. They will:

-Make strong eye contact with you. -Ask you questions (instead of making you carry the conversation). -Touch you. -Laugh at your jokes (even when they aren’t that funny).

Knowing the above list of indicators of interest is useful, right?

Well, actually, relying on indicators of interest can handicap you’re dating life. Every girl is different: one girl might show interest by making strong eye contact, but another might show interest by shyly looking away.

Some of the women who I've brought home from bars or clubs didn’t make strong eye contact, they didn’t ask me a lot of questions, and they didn’t even touch me (until we were in a room together). If I relied on indicators of interest, I would never have brought her back to my hotel room.

So, if you can’t accurately tell whether a girl likes you based on what she says, and you can’t tell based on how she acts, how the fuck are you supposed to tell if a girl likes you?

Compliance. The best way to determine whether a girl likes you is to give her the opportunity to either reject or accept your advances.

The shy girls from the above examples didn’t give me many indicators of interest, but when I asked these women to dance with me, they agreed. When I invited them back to my place to get a drink, they agreed.

If a girl is interested in hooking up with you, it’s very likely she will give you compliance when you attempt to move the interaction forward.

Here are the most important ways a girl will show compliance:

-She sticks around while you’re talking to her (as opposed to making an excuse to leave the interaction) -She accepts your touch. -If you invite her to go somewhere with you, she agrees (I.E. to go to another area of a club or back to your place). -When you lean in for a kiss, she responds enthusiastically.

As a rule of thumb, a girl who likes you will comply to the above requests because she wants the interaction to lead towards sex.

Of course, compliance only works within the bounds of common sense. If you invite a girl back to your place five minutes after meeting her, she’ll probably say no. If you make a large request too soon, you might not get compliance even if a girl is attracted to you.

How To “Test” Compliance

In the early 2000’s, pickup artists taught elaborate methods of getting compliance called, “compliance ladders,” and although the theory behind them is solid, they’re too complicated to be practical. I’ve created a simplified system for using compliance to determine whether a girl is interested in you below:

1. When You’ve Just met: She Stays

If you approach a girl and she doesn’t like you, she will most likely find an excuse to leave the interaction within the first few minutes. She’ll need to “Use the restroom” or “Go find her friends.”

To be fair, a girl might stay and talk to you even if she’s not attracted to you. You can’t be 100% certain if a girl likes you within the first few minutes of meeting her. This is partly because she’s not 100% sure if she likes you, either. As a rule of thumb, if a girl doesn’t make an excuse to run to the hills– you’ve got a chance.

The most common mistake guys make in this stage of an interaction is that they don’t ask for further compliance (this is sometimes referred to the 30-minute conversation to nowhere). Even if a girl likes you, it’s unlikely she’s going to make the first move. You must take responsibility and lead the interaction in the direction you want it to go – that’s why step 2 of this system is so important.

2. 10 minutes into the interaction: She Follows Your Lead

If you offer your hand and say, “Let’s go get some fresh air for a minute,” a girl who likes you will most likely take your hand and go with you.

Asking a girl to move to another area with you is a great way to determine if a girl is interested in you because it’s subtle. You’re not telling the girl she’s beautiful or asking her on a date, you’re simply moving to another area with her – this technique allows you to find out if a girl is interested you without showing your hand (and giving away your power).

If a girl complies to this type of request, there’s roughly a 90% chance she’s interested in you. Women rarely leave their friends to hang out with a guy they don’t like – and why would they?

To be clear, if a girl rejects your request to move to another area, it doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t interested. It’s important for some girls to stay with their friends – they won’t leave the group even for a guy they like.

If you’re relatively inexperienced with meeting women, you should just move on if a girl declines your request to go to another area of the club/campus/mall with you. You don’t want to waste time with a girl who’s probably not interested (and there are plenty of other women you can meet who will be interested).

If a girl you like rejects your request to move to another area, your best bet is to continue the conversation for a couple minutes before grabbing her number to set up a date with her later. That way, if it turns out she did like you, you won’t be missing an opportunity (but you also won’t be wasting your whole night talking to the wrong girl if it turns out she didn’t like you).

3. 1 hour into the interaction: She Enters Your Home

If a girl is following your lead from one area to another, and she stays in conversation with you for about an hour, the next step is to bring her home with you.

If a girl you just met agrees to hang out with you in the privacy of your home, you can be fairly confident that she likes you. You can invite a girl back to your place any number of ways, my go to is simply to say,

“Hey, it’s too loud here, let’s go somewhere we can have a real conversation.”

Some other lines I’ve used to pull include:

-“Rock Band after-party, let’s go!” - “You haven’t seen X movie?!? You need to see it, it’s amazing. Let’s go, right now.” - “Let’s get pizza!” (The pizza is in my freezer)

You don’t need a great reason to bring a girl to your place, you just need an excuse that isn’t “let’s fuck” (saying that puts too much pressure on the girl). If a girl is interested in hooking up with you, she will agree to go to your place for whatever silly reason you come up with.

To be fair, a girl who likes you might refuse to go home with you. Some girls just don’t do one-night stands: they might be religious or abstinent. Other times, a girl can’t go home with you because she has somewhere to be early in the morning or she has to sleep in the same room as her friends.

If a girl won’t go home with you, you have two options:

You can stick in the interaction until the end of the night and go to her place at the end of the night. Before doing so, ask yourself the question, “What would happen if she and I were alone in a room together?” If the answer is, “We’d tear each other’s clothes off,” then, going with her has a good chance of leading to sex.

To go with her, ask, “What area of town are you headed to?” Reply to whatever her answer is with, “Oh, I’m near there, we should split an uber.” If she’s unenthusiastic, then she’s probably not that into you, but if she says something along the lines of, “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!” Then you can go with her at the end of the night.

When you’re in the Uber with her, you need to create an excuse to enter her house. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask if you can use her restroom while you wait for another Uber to your place.

When you’re in her house, one thing should lead to another. You’ll both forget that you were “waiting for your Uber”.

If you’re thinking, “This sounds creepy,” well, it is creepy if she’s not into you. However, if she is attracted to you, you’re creating a logical excuse to do what you both want to do.

You can’t tell a girl, “Oh, you have to go home with your friends? Can I come along so we can fuck when you get home?” That wouldn’t be relatable, so, if you want to go home with her, you have to create a situation where it makes sense for you to do so. Again, you should only do this if you’re confident that it’s on between the two of you, otherwise, go with option 2.

If you invite a girl back to your place and she declines, sometimes the best option is to make plans to go on a date with her later and to then go meet other people. Say something like, “It’s been cool talking to you, we should get coffee sometime.”

When a girl rejects your invitation to go home with you, it’s often not that she’s rejecting you, she just can’t go home with you at that particular moment. That’s why you should always make plans to hang out with the girl later in this type of situation.

4. In the Bedroom: She Has A Good Time

Once a girl is in your house (or you’re in hers), the last form of compliance you want to get is, well, sex.

Start by giving the girl an excuse to hang out in your room. For example, you could say “Have you seen Arrested Development?” (or any show/movie). If she hasn’t seen it, say, “Oh, you have to see it, let me show you.” Then bring her to your room and put the show on.

Sit on your bed, and she’ll most likely follow suit. If she doesn’t, say something like, “You can take a seat,” I’ve never once had a girl say no to this request. (If a girl responds negatively to this, it’s a sign that she wasn't attracted to you in the first place, which is something you can work on: https://redpilltheory.com/2018/03/31/how-to-be-an-attractive-man/.)

When she gets in bed with you, you can start watching the show and physically escalate at your own pace. The vast majority of the time, when a girl gets into bed with a guy, she knows something sexual is about to happen. (Obviously, if she does give resistance, respect her wishes and stop what you’re doing.)

If you are nervous about kissing a girl in your bed, you can make it a bit easier by first saying, “Close your eyes for a second,” then, when she closes her eyes, lean in for the kiss.

When you’re new to having a girl in your bed, it’ll probably be a nerve-wracking experience. The first time I had a girl back at my place she massaged my entire body head to toe, but I was so nervous that I said, “Well, I’m getting tired, we should get some sleep.”

When we woke up in the morning, she said, “Well, that’s not what I was expecting,” before heading out. I never saw her again.

It was awkward. It was frustrating. But the next time I was in a similar situation I gathered my courage and leaned in to kiss the girl (and one thing lead to another). So, bringing a girl home might be uncomfortable at first, but if you want an abundant dating life it’s a necessary step.

The only way to get over your nerves is to put yourself in the situation that makes you nervous (having a girl in your bed) repeatedly until you get comfortable with it. I know, it’s hard work getting multiple attractive women in your bed (http://www.returnofkings.com/173558/2-reasons-why-you-should-always-try-to-sleep-with-a-girl-on-the-first-date), but it’ll pay off.

Wrapping Up Indicators of Interest Suck

Those are the four key points of compliance in any interaction with a woman:

-She Doesn’t Leave -She agrees to follow your lead from one area to the other. -She’s willing to go home with you. -Sex.

It’s far more practical to focus on whether a girl is giving you compliance than to focus on whether she’s giving you indicators of interest.

Thinking about whether a girl is giving you indicators of interest (I.E. “Is she making strong eye contact? “What’s her body language saying?”) doesn’t directly lead the interaction towards sex.

Testing for compliance, however, helps you sense whether a girl likes you while simultaneously leading the interaction towards sex.

Looking for signs that a girl likes you can also backfire because it’s a defensive strategy. When you’re looking for signs that a girl likes you, the fundamental assumption is that she doesn’t like you unless she’s giving you certain signs. This can lead you to falsely assume a girl isn’t attracted to you when she actually is.

Furthermore, we interpret indicators of interest through the filter of our emotions. If we don’t feel confident in our attractiveness to women, we’re likely to be ultra-sensitive to signs that a girl doesn’t like us while ignoring the signs that she does like us. If, for example, a girl doesn’t make strong eye contact with you, you might think it’s a sign that she’s not interested, but it might actually be a sign that she is interested, she’s just too nervous to hold strong eye contact.

Indicators of interest are unreliable, by following the above compliance-based system, you will be able to consistently move interactions towards sex with the girls who like you. Yes, you may get rejected sometimes when moving an interaction forward. But remember, not trying to move an interaction forward is getting rejected by default.

Follow the system for getting compliance laid out in this article and your dating success will skyrocket.

I'm going out every night and I just started posting my adventures (approaches, make outs, leading, etc.) on Snapchat. You can follow me there if you'd like, my username is: AveryGHayden

Footnotes:

1: To be clear, if a girl says she doesn’t want to have sex when you’re in bed with her, you need to back off.


[–]1redhawkes 444 points445 points  (21 children)

When in doubt, escalate. It prevents you from wasting time and overthinking. Rejection is better than regret.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 224 points225 points  (2 children)

Even simpler:

Assume attraction and escalate.

That's it.

[–]RUALUM15 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My roommate told me that his dads best advice to him was “Once a yes, always a yes.” That means if a girl at any point has liked you in your life, assume that attraction is still there and act on it.

[–]2Dmva100 115 points116 points  (8 children)

Nailed it. And don't listen to women. What they say is at best a temporary, contextual description of their state of mind. A female statement is not like a man's, it is a product of solipsistic emotion and not rational logic.

Analyzing and interpreting a root cause for why a woman said something will provide you with far more useful information instead of only literally listening to it on the surface.

Example:

'I don't fuck guys until I get to know them and take it slow.'

Beta/No game guy thinks - 'Oh shit, I better take this into consideration and adjust my actions going forward and not disrespect her. She's quality.'

Alpha/RP Aware guy thinks - 'She's trying to control the frame by getting me to invest via covert contract BECAUSE she gets pumped and dumped alot. Ergo, her statement was total bullshit and a manifestation of her lack of control because she's a slave to her emotions and hypergamous nature.'

[–]1redhawkes 56 points57 points  (0 children)

What they say is at best a temporary, contextual description of their state of mind.

True, always add right now after everything a woman says.

In your example, the core is to be aware of whats happening. Hence, the beta is unaware of the dynamics at play, so he makes the only logical conclusion with the information he has. The beta has been feed false data his whole life, so the result is failure by default.

OTOH, the RP aware guy already sees thru her bullshit with the red lenses on and acts upon it with his knowledge.

[–]DBergenmann 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is a fucking science for socially anxious autists. Fuck, this is literally breaking down the foreign concept of interaction down to a logical science.

And I’m so glad I found it. Because I am learning so much, and getting so much more confident.

[–]xjx545 23 points24 points  (1 child)

> 'I don't fuck guys until I get to know them and take it slow.'

If she's talking to you about sex, she's thinking about it.

My mind translates this to: "I really want to fuck you but you need to get past my objections and give me an excuse to do it. Then you need to figure out all the logistics to make it happen, and not make me feel like I'm a slut. "

[–]geo_gan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly. No woman would bring up the subject of who she does or doesn't fuck to some nerd loser she has no interest in ever.

" not make me feel like I'm a slut " = provide plausible deniability for me.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]Daimonon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah but let’s say the analysis was just the translation for his amused mastery “lol sure you do”

    [–]harsha_hs 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    This is best comment. Don't waste your time thinking abt what girl is thinking, test and find out. Keep escalating incrementally, leave when you get no.

    [–]DwightWolftail 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Rejection Is not better than regret. Rejection is GOOD. Good for building your frame, good for learning what you did wrong, and good to realize that some times a girl is just not into you and it's not your fault.

    [–]1redhawkes 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    That's why the saying is rejection is better than regret. You either win or you learn.

    Regret on the other hand is just a mental masturbation with what if questions.

    [–]fuzzyjames123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Agreed, the moment she says "No" or "I want to take it longer" I turn around and get out

    [–]Basito91 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    For men, this applies not only to wamen but to almost everything in life.

    [–]nimbuskingsean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Lol wamen sounds like an extreme northern accent version of woman. I know it was a typo (maybe not?) but it made me laugh 😂

    [–]Self-honest -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    That's exactly what I was going to say.

    [–]RedRogue26 143 points144 points  (6 children)

    “She wants the interaction to lead towards sex.” This is the key part. So many men mention the elephant in the room too early and absolutely destroy the sexual tension she uses to push herself towards a sexual encounter. Woman aren’t riddled with testosterone and aren’t always ready to go like men. If you can detach your penis from your mind for an hour of interaction with her and work your boyish charm (escalation and abundance mentality) she will make it worth your while. I’ve often told guys that are new to hold off on kissing her until you’re back at place where you can escalate it to sex. I’ve seen a lot of men kiss a girl too fast at a club that essentially robs her of the sexual tension she wanted.

    [–]juju515 64 points65 points  (2 children)

    hmmm...

    Interesting idea...

    I usually go for the kiss very early... and I've noticed that often I make no more progress after that...

    this could be the reason why...

    [–]xddm2653 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    Never kiss unless you're somewhere you can fuck

    [–]oyoungpadawan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't know, I go for the kiss asap. But I make it a very short one and then I pull away for a while.

    Shows her I'm not afraid to take what I want but I'm also not too thirsty. And it weeds out attention seekers fast.

    [–]SKRedPill 33 points34 points  (2 children)

    You guys need to know this - women actually have an off button where they are not sexual or aroused enough to get going. Men do not have this problem because they're in a giving proactive position both biologically and otherwise, they do not have an on/off button from this frame. But women definitely do.

    There was a story about a guy on his wedding night, when his wife tells him, "We're not having sex. I need time." He knows a romance story that goes just like this, he proceeds to do that his way, not getting even slightly put off. She knows the story too, and eventually can't believe it's really happening to her. He keeps at it, she just falls into his frame, gets playful with him, they do cute stuff, she then gets turned on and the rest is history. (Quora often does have a few honest confessions, and in this case, it was hers).

    There was one of my friends who wanted to be a good girl waiting for marriage, who nevertheless ironically posted a big wall of text on her FB about the 'patriarchal idea' of wedding nights and marrying a stranger. I had to laugh because when they're turned on and in love, they won't even wait for the second date, forget marriage. I even told her that, only for her to come up with a huge wall of rationalizations. LOL that...

    In my BP days I would have really taken this seriously and (I did) fail the shit test.

    Women do not lie as much as they truly believe their solipsistic reality in that moment. The shit test isn't even as much of a deliberate test as it is an actual state in that moment. Dem hamsters...

    That's yet another reason why women give such poor advice and why men shouldn't rely on what they keep saying. She should enter your frame, you can't enter hers because her frame is a fluid thing with really flimsy foundation. You can't trust her, but you can pull her strings.

    When she's turned on and escalated, she will change into a different animal. This is the part that no one outside of here really wants to admit. So that's why you can't take them seriously, if you know what to do.

    Don't rely so much on her as she relies on you. That's both in your and her best interest.

    PS : But that's also why you need to take care of the part afterwards and keep yourself safe from false rape claims. They can be made to change back - a little bit of herd and ASD will do it. It all depends on which emotion dominates.

    [–]-DeadLock 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    I learned this when, during our relationship, I turned my ultra religious ex into a cock goblin.

    [–]SKRedPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Oh, you cannot imagine what the 'good girls' do once set loose. If anything, they're least prepared for the intensity of it, so they just get swept away.

    But these girls are also the best candidates for Alpha Widowing.

    [–]AllenWasLeftOff 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    This is the type of post I needed. This is the type of advice I needed. There’s so many fakes/uncles on this subreddit giving fake information and bad advice. This is the few posts that actually has a bit redpill and common sense embedded into it. Spectacular job OP. You rock. Keep up the good work.

    [–]Jack0fDiamonds 28 points29 points  (2 children)

    yeah I agree. Once a girl is into you its pretty simple to get laid. Don't need a fool proof strategy just confidence and clarity.

    Women that are available, will most likely dress more provocatively, have wandering eyes around the room, and place themselves in a place to attract attention. That's enough to go for it in my opinion.

    I've gotten girls back to my place just by saying "want to get out of here?" and I've gotten girls into my room just by saying "Would you like to see my tempurpedic pillow? " You can also say want to go back to my place for a drink (Frozen pizza is a great one might start stocking up on that just because)?

    [–]foreignbois 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    Once a girl is into you its pretty simple to get laid. Don't need a fool proof strategy just confidence and clarity.

    my pre-TRP self would like to have a word with you

    [–]Jack0fDiamonds 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I mean you have to pull the trigger at some point and at times you can't control the outcome no matter how you plan.

    [–]llDUNN 23 points24 points  (2 children)

    Dude I've had sex with a plethora of women who have told me that they won't have sex on the first date. Or that they are just flat out, not gonna have sex with me. Everytime I have sex though, or I suck on some titties, or eat a bitch out. I've had so many girls stay at my house who have said that. I get a ton of indicators, at times, that they arent interested. Yet they sleep over(fucking idiots), but the NUMBER ONE indicator I always have picked up on is this. When I get vibes they arent wanting it, I eventuall say in my mind "fine, I'm going to sleep." As the lights are off and we are trying to go to sleep, this one thing ALWAYS happens. You're spooning them and they're pressed up against you, nut to butt. They will start to move a lot, especially their hips. Moving, and digging into your dick. I usually have a three or four time rule. If they do the moving and pushing into me with their ass at least three times it means they're wa ging to fuck. Once I get to my number, I simply turn their head towards me and start kissing them. Whip those titties out, start sucking them, and I'm on my way to pound town. I swear it never fails. If a girl is in my room it means she has a full awareness of why we are I there. Women do like a challenge. Most of the time I'll be on my couch watching a movie. When I'm ready, I just pull their face to mine and we're off! If a girl let's you touch her breast you're almost in. If she let's you pull it out and suck on it, you're golden. I've has so many girls tell me in the middle of them on top of me on my couch tell me that they arent like this lmao.

    [–]oyoungpadawan 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    This. "We're not gonna have sex" almost always results in sex. When they say it, I already start feeling them up while saying "ok let's just go to sleep" or I stop all contact and they'll start the nut to butt 5 mins later like you said.

    A few were "true to their words" and only gave me a blowjob, still fine with me.

    And if she is really unresponsive I just go to sleep and often in the morning they start feeling me up...

    I have a few smarter female acquaintances that go straight for the couch because they know they won't be able to resist. (a few of them haven't been able to in the past)

    [–]zyzzguido55 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    lmaooo this is so true, the exact same shit has happened to me so many times. AWALT 😂🤙🏼

    [–]MrCarepig 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    If a girl wants dick shell get it. Maybe not from you, but from some other guy. Its as easy as going to te supermarket to get something for women. When she walks out the door she already made a decision that day that she was going to fuck or not. If you happen to be there and game her right, you are in. Like many people say its just a numbers game.

    [–]Sephar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Wait for an uber when you just got out of an uber? That sounds a bit hard to sell. Good post, though.

    [–]DancesWithPugs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for putting this together. I wrote about getting IOIs at a glance, which is fun, but not the same as escalations that actually lead to sex. After all, most of those enjoying the show are partnered up or just don't want to be bothered. They want to look and fantasize, nothing wrong with it. But there is a world of difference between getting checked out and getting head.

    I like that you specified times to back off. Seduction is not pressure. Understand active consent, guys.

    OP I have two anecdotes that support your analysis.

    First date A: Long story short. Said she wasn't sure if she was attracted to me at her house. I laughed it off, hung in there, escalated touch, and got blown.

    First date B: Long story long. Fun time at a restaurant, ciders, joints in the snow, blah blah.

    Her: "I will drive you home but I'm not coming in." Me: "That's cool."

    (More conversation... We pull up in front of my house.)

    Me: "Thanks for a fun night. I'm gonna go smoke a bowl."

    Her: "Oh... (pause)... Can I join you?"

    I think she expected some kind of pressure or enticement.

    "Sure. Well, we could smoke outside, in the garage, or my room. Whatever you are most comfortable with."

    When she said "let's go to your room" it was her idea.

    She made it "clear," no funny business! Slut cover, plausible deniability, safety testing. No problem.

    Smoking outside is technically illegal, garages are sketchy, hmmmm. The offer was genuine with no strings attached, and those are the three places to smoke, so it's not some scam. But, if I had said "let's smoke a bowl together" she could have framed it as bring the weed to the car, bye. We had already blazed that night, but another girl could have taken a direct offer of drugs, plus "come to my room" as sketchy and something to complain about to the crew next Friday. Ya can't complain about "I asked this guy if I could join his plans" in quite the same tone."

    Epilogue: Two of the best blowjobs of my life. Meh sex, but a rebound for me so hey whatever. Made her come 5 times, but due to my groin injury pain and awkward moments she still had the nerve to complain. She went back to her world of FWBs and pussy hat parades. She said I "lacked a certain energy." She meant masculinity. Her fat feminist ass wanted more traditional masculinity and confidence than I was offering at the time. I reflected, RP style 'smiling indifference' got me in the door. BP validation seeking, nervousness, and people pleasing got that door shut. Hmmmm...

    [–]Frothy_Genius 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Easily one of the most helpful posts. Thanks brother

    [–]kylerosa21 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I gotta tell you, I Really love this post, and will instantly apply this to my Game as of tonight.

    Last night was the first time I ever approached a woman cold on the street. It was pretty daunting to think about, but it was super easy when i was there talking to the girl. My downfall is that I looked for IOIs too much before I approached, and wouldn’t approach if i didn’t spot any (namely, strong eye contact). Tonight, I’m going to apply the idea of looking for compliance in my approaches when i go out, and maybe if i have some success, I’ll write up a FR based on this post.

    Thanks a bunch. Very valuable post.

    [–]Warped_Mindless 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Exactly!

    Escalation pretty much always answers the question "does she like me?"

    [–]TheRedneckbeardPill 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I've had so many PUA friends who valued themselves by how many 'IOIs' they've got.

    Don't do that. You will become an emotionally unstable little bitch and many women will slip through your hands. Checking her submission is the only scale you should use.

    [–]trele_morele 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Interesting read. Different from my own theory which is much simpler, ie. assume that attraction exists until proven otherwise and lead the interaction towards your goal.

    [–]confident247 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    This is actually a very good read without a tone that emphasizes demeaning women. Thanks for the extra links.

    [–]ebaymasochist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Just from personal experience: If she's out in a parking lot with you for 30 minutes after closing time, you gotta make something happen. Eventually it's time to stop talking, stop waiting for the perfect moment to make the perfect move and just kiss her. Don't expect to hear music or to spin around like in a movie. You might be terrible at kissing each other, because people have different styles.. It will be awkward at first. Sometimes it's instantly amazing and you feel like you found the perfect match. Other times the girl is very hot but bad at making out. That's not your fault. Don't let this ruin things. This is the reality of pick up. It's not going to be picture perfect, most of the time. You don't have to fuck for 20 minutes like a porn star the first time you bang a girl. It can be pretty quick. It might be better to be quick

    [–]1elite5472 36 points37 points  (1 child)

    tldr; If she wants it she'll say yes, if she doesn't she'll kindly tell you to fuck off. Moral of the story: have the guts to make a move.

    [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Simpleton advice with no breakdown

    [–]SpecOpsAlpha 18 points19 points  (6 children)

    My wife, my second LTR, was introduced to me by the wife of a friend. I’d been warned beforehand that she’d just gotten out of law school and didn’t like bullshit artists. Neither do I, especially emotion driven bitches. Walks up to where we were standing, looks at me, looks at friend’s wife (college roomies) and says, “Thanks!” Still chuckle about that.

    Direct, honest, says exactly what she means and wants. No fucking game bullshit. Love it.

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

    You married a man, dude. Congrats though. We are fun to be around.

    [–]BeATrumpet 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    Man law school chicks are the worst

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    But, his wife sounds awesome and like they have a great rapport.

    [–]SpecOpsAlpha 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    We do. 3 kids (one adopted), heart of gold, and endured my deployments. I lucked out.

    [–]BewareTheOldMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Well...you have the Spec Ops advantage that emotes leadership, masculinity, responsibility, courage, protective instincts, and "you don't want to mess with me or my family" vibes.

    There's a saying:

    "Special Ops men are the types of men that every other man wants to be like and every woman wants to f#@k."

    Good on you (and her) for having such a great relationship and marriage.

    Well done Good Sir.

    [–]Lib3rtarianSocialist 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    That sounds like a rational woman. Uncommon. Mentally masculine.

    [–]rcsob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Fantastic practical guide.

    Also I lost it at "the pizza is in my freezer" lmao

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [removed]

    [–]Celicni -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    we're not that autistic

    If we weren't, we wouldn't need a creepy internet cult to tell us how to get chicks.

    [–]geo_gan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    a creepy internet cult to tell us how to get chicks

    an open internet forum to teach us how females work

    [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Good post but dont bother putting disclaimers for common sense like your anti-rape footnote.

    [–]iLoveReddit32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Most girls will never initiate any type of escalation with you bc they don’t want to be perceived as a whore.

    [–]kyzen142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Every time I have ever gone for the kiss close is when I noticed the level of compliance a girl gives me. Yes compliance trumps any ioi.

    [–]forbesno1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The community is coming full circle. As the incels invade, there is greater nostalgia for PUA methods and its interdeterminacy to escape from the Red Pill was developed.

    [–]1KyfhoMyoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dumb fuck, all the things you listed ARE indicators of interest.

    [–]1m4ch1ina 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    BONUS: Don’t take her number, give her yours.

    If she goes out of her way to text you, reminding you who she is and where you met, win.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Terrible advice. Women rarely take initiative, and expecting her to to text you shows her that you are a pussy.

    [–]1m4ch1ina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It isn’t terrible advice buddy.

    Repeatedly texting a girl in an attempt to get her to respond shows her that you’re a pussy.

    Taking her phone, saying “Hey here’s my number. Text me,” shows her that you have assumed attraction, and are confident enough to be convinced she’ll text you of her own volition.

    If a woman wants to have sex with you, and she doesn’t initiate, (which women do, often) she will make it incredibly easy for you.

    You giving her your number is the initiation.

    Her texting you is the compliance.

    This way you skip the questioning, and avoid ghosting altogether. If she likes you, she will text. If she doesn’t, you’re no worse for wear.

    You must be new here.

    [–]oneorigin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    The only true IOI is when she comes from your dick inside her.

    [–]gowatchanimefgt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    My cousin shows all these signs should I go fuck her

    [–]Saberinbed 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    The sharing uber thing to her place sounds kina meh. What if you go to the other side of town and get stranded there? Just dosen’t seem worth it imo. I’d gladly go with a girl that i’ve hung out with or knew beforehand, but not someone who i just met and isn’t close to my area.

    [–]TheRastafarian 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    It would at least make for an epic story regardless of what happens

    [–]Saberinbed 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I guess but i live in toronto and ubering around from downtown to where i live is hella expensive. Its an easy $60 from downtown to my area.

    [–]xjx545 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Move closer to the bars and clubs. Or make more money and deal with it. If you really want to get good at this you need to plow through any excuses and make things happen.

    [–]The_Real_Cannaman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just get rich, it's easy lol

    [–]BewareTheOldMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "If you really want to get good at this you need to plow through any excuses and make things happen."

    With the exception of a select few - nothing comes easy for men. You have to do the work.

    Well said.

    cc - u/Saberinbed

    [–]BurnoutRS 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I think a good amount of the misplaced importance with IOIs comes from the fantasy of romantic love and conditioning that grooms boys to think about making themselves attractive as long term providers, that love is eternal and unconditional, that a girl only wants to have sex with a guy she see's herself staying with forever.

    Thats where it stems from. If the end goal is eternal commitment, and if you assume the end goal is the same for both sexes, as a man it makes sense you have to prove alot about yourself, and she has to be receptive to those things for you guys to mesh...

    There's the fear of rejection, and fear of rape accusation. You covered that with the idea of looking for IOIs being a defensive strategy. Which enacts a self fulfilling prophecy in some situations. You never escalate because you never see IOIs and you never see IOIs because theres no attempt to escalate which makes you seem boring

    Getting too caught up in whether she likes you, fuck man, you might forget to check whether you even like her

    [–]BewareTheOldMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "I think a good amount of the misplaced importance with IOIs comes from the fantasy of romantic love and conditioning that groom boys to think about making themselves attractive as long-term providers, that love is eternal and unconditional, that a girl only wants to have sex with a guy she sees herself staying with forever."

    Excellent observation - Blue Pill Conditioning is strong and it starts as early as boyhood, continues into teenage years, and well into adulthood.

    It's the base reason that men are so angry when they discover that virtually everything about women they've been taught is an outright lie and female behavior is in serious conflict with their perceived fantasy.

    Sure - there are a few women who will adhere to the concepts of romance, courtship without sexual activity, and everlasting love that leads to commitment, marriage, and family but it’s playing out that way with very few men.

    Most women are simply passing themselves from one man to the next - hence their disappointment and frustration when they discover that no one has interest in commitment and marriage with the "reformed" Pass-Around Chick.

    [–]JonathanMekerset -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

    Jesus Christ, just by the size of this fucking post I can already tell it’s a ton of overthinking bullshit.

    Just fucking escalate. If she resists she’s not into you. Simple. Quit trying to turn getting girls into quantum mechanics

    [–]BeATrumpet 28 points29 points  (2 children)

    He made a good post. You need to understand the theory behind why things work and why certain moves work. Fuck off

    [–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's all he really said. I think newbs would be interested in the theory

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]JonathanMekerset 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Part of “escalating” is passing shit tests such as the one you described.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Kvmabis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This looks great, I've never followed any of these but it's worked out for me before me just bring me. Thank you for this, j will apply some of these later tonight and see where it goes.

        [–]MakeMenGreatAgain44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don't approve of ROK but that specific article was a gem. There is always LMR and of course what Donovan discussed, the rejection handling test. No man is worth his salt if he can't handle rejection and persevere.

        I remember a story about my uncle. He asked a girl out on a date and she refused because of the rain. He got upset and left in anger lol

        [–]cuntrolbot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        If you invite a girl back to your place five minutes after meeting her, she’ll probably say no.

        Not always. But it can be done.

        [–]MrCarepig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        If a girl wants dick shell get it. Maybe not from you, but from some other guy. Its as easy as going to te supermarket to get something for women. When she walks out the door she already made a decision that day that she was going to fuck or not. If you happen to be there and game her right, you are in. Like many people say its just a numbers game.

        [–]Tousen71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This was great and very thorough. Bravo.

        [–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I was a hater of your post until I read the last section and it all made sense.

        GREAT post man.

        [–]moltenw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Question - does this mostly apply to night game?

        I'm thinking it would work quite well with cold approaching as well, albeit slightly different probably.

        Do the rules stay relatively the same in that setting?

        [–]BewareTheOldMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Great write up, theory, and detailed analysis. I'm certain your feedback and experience is helpful to many men who are still confused on how to deal with women.

        Also - the disclaimer and warning statement:

        "To be clear, if a girl says she doesn’t want to have sex when you’re in bed with her, you need to back off."

        This is great advice. No need to catch a charge or accusation when there are so many other women who are willing participants.

        I've seen numerous posts about pushing through Last-Minute Resistance (LMR). In the era of Me Too, hardcore feminism, "toxic masculinity," and Social Justice - it seems like questionable advice.

        [–]eyewant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        this technique allows you to find out if a girl is interested you without showing your hand (and giving away your power).

        Asking to go on a date later is revealing your hand?

        [–]DadOnDabs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My favorite way to go for a kiss. Simply say, "hey" and lean in for the kiss. Whether she's mid sentence, you're watching a movie, or walking along, works in any situation.

        [–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        What's a more precious metal than gold for this article...

        [–]AlQWEffos239 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        I had girl keep looking at me every 5 mins, I didn’t approach due to not mixing work and pleasure.

        [–]liquidsahelanthropus -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

        Dude shut the fuck up lmao Jesus Christ

        [–]gowatchanimefgt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        I’ve always wondered what kind of person that writes these posts look like, like what are they really like irl. Why do they all write the same way. I bet they the type of guy to lift a couple weights and then think they know how to fight.

        [–]oliseo -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

        Can be condensed down into

        "She spends time with you, and is willing to continue spending time with you".

        She will let you know if she's not into you by not being with you.

        This shit isn't rocket science, stop complicating and overthinking stuff.

        I could be a twat and say "the real way you know she's interested in you if she sucks as hard as the OPs post", but, I'm better than that.

        [–]xjx545 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        That's silly. Tons of girls will spend time with you with no intention of ever fucking you. If you want more context go to the front page and read the beta male "Help, I'm stuck in the friend zone" posts on a daily basis.

        [–]The_Real_Cannaman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Physical escalation is key. It makes or brakes.