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Red Pill TheoryThe Three Rules. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1Kolbath

This is my first attempt to discuss Red Pill theory. I'm looking forward to constructive criticism and hopefully this sparks some intelligent discourse and assists some of us who are swallowing the Red Pill for the first time.

TL;DR

There are three rules I attempt to live by. These rules are simple and can be followed by everyone. They are: 1. Depend only on yourself for your happiness. 2. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and 3. Always be comfortable no matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing, or who you're with.

Background

In 1991 I entered my senior year of high school and terminated an on again/off again relationship with a long time girlfriend. It didn't take me long to find the absolute perfect girl. I won't lie. She took my heart in a way no other girl ever has. Unfortunately, I didn't see what was in front of me at the time, and I broke up with her for reasons I don't want to go into and are not currently relevant. Three years later, however, she came back from college and I was able to date her once again. I had about a month with her before she chose someone else. I was quite beta with her, and looking back I believe that was part of the problem, as she chose someone who had not treated her terribly well. She married him and has four beautiful kids.

Depressed, I locked myself into the trailer I was renting on my parents' property while I made a run at college, and did nothing but come out to work. I spoke to no one. One day I decided to write down every sentence I'd said all day and it came to something like 122 words. I even got out my AR15, cleaned it, oiled it, and cycled the action through a twenty round magazine. Carefully, I reloaded it, and put the barrel in my mouth. That was rock bottom. The only way I could possibly have been lower is to have been in a coma with one of the goddamn Kardashians making terminal decisions for me.

This was long before the Red Pill. This was long before MGTOW or Men's Rights was even a thing. All I had was a deep dissatisfaction with my fast food job, lack of prospects for advancement, complete inability to make a worthwhile girl attracted to me, and a feeling that I wanted more from life than living in a trailer on my parents' property and trying to come up with reasons not to put a 5.56 round through the back of my skull.

Out of this morass of personal pain was born The Rules. I have lived by them for about twenty years now. They had an immediate impact on my life. Within three months of adopting them, I entered a long term relationship with a low CC, very sexy girl just shy of her own graduation from high school. Despite her relative inexperience (I was her third cock, in a time before 'sex positive' was even a thing.), she was the most submissive slut for me that one could imagine. That relationship lasted for more than a year, and it set me on a permanent path to what would eventually lead to The Red Pill. Additionally, at the same time I was beginning this relationship I was offered a better job, with more upward mobility (and stepped from there to the military for even more and for college money). I've published books, coached sports teams, and taught classes for the Armed Forces and in civilian life, and I consider these rules to be the cornerstone of every success I've had.

The Rules.

Rule Number One: Depend only on yourself for your happiness. This first rule is the most important, and also the only one to have the language change significantly. The previous iteration was “Don't depend on other people for your happiness.” While this is effective, I prefer to teach from positive rather than negative statements.

You are the only person that you will be with from this very moment until the day you die, hopefully in a threesome with supermodels. I sincerely hope that each of you reading this requires the services of a master embalmer to get the terminal smile from your faces, and I also believe that this will never happen if you place responsibility for your happiness into the hands of other people.

When I lost that “love of my life” I was depressed because I had not only failed to internalize Abundance Mentality, but I had also placed sole responsibility for my personal feelings of joy and pleasure into the hands of someone who could not handle that load. This is no personal slight to the girl in question; no one will ever be as effective at making you happy as you, yourself, can be. It is actually somewhat unfair to place such a strain on another person.

If we continue to examine closer, we'll find that much of my dissatisfaction with my employment was due to the same feelings of scarcity and internalized “knowledge” that I simply didn't deserve a decent job with a livable wage. I didn't deserve the finer things, like a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend who turned heads when she came into the room and begged for anal because she knew I enjoyed it. I was living with a scarcity mentality, and one of the side effects of such a mental block is that you feel like everyone else has control of your happiness.

This is not the case! William Ernest Henley said it best:

It matters not how strait the gate/

or charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the captain of my fate.

I am the master of my soul.

I first read these lines in Piers Anthony's book, On a Pale Horse, and they have become an important part of my daily meditation. I urge you to consider their meaning as well.

Rule Number Two: Treat others as you wish to be treated

Ah! The Golden Rule. The one rule that all religions are supposed to have and yet the one so infrequently followed. This rule is the lifeblood of The Red Pill. I can't speak for the moderators here, or the individual who started this subreddit, but I have a sneaking suspicion that part of why they did it was a sincere desire to help others because they probably wish they'd had a resource like this to lean on and learn from when they were trying to take their lives back. I look at the hundreds of thousands of words written by notable contributors such as /u/GayLubeOil, Rollo Tomassi and others, most of whom make little or no profit from the hard work they put in to drag their brothers from the sticky mud of failure and depression.

Why do so? Why put forth the enormous effort of putting pen to paper? Why risk the potential outing and harassment at the hands of feminists and their white knight followers?

The answer is complex and probably different for each one of them, and yet I find that one thing remains constant throughout this subreddit: a powerful and altruistic desire to improve others. It is almost as if the men who have reached the top of the mountain have looked back and said to themselves, “I would like my brothers here with me.”

Treating others as you wish to be treated doesn't mean being a pushover. I am kind and compassionate. I have spoken before that most of my life has been spent learning some form or other of self-defense system. I defend others. I treat the people around me with respect. However, and some have noted here that unsourced statements, inaccuracies, or fabrications are met with quick and decisive catcalls. The hidden side of this is that this is how I desire to be treated! If I am wrong, prove it to me and I will retract my statements. If I am right, acknowledge and we will move on together.

There is a well-known aspect of game theory called the Prisoner's Dilemma. The general gist of the game is that a prisoner who gives information about a fellow prisoner receives a reward while his compadre is punished. If both prisoners give information they are both punished. If neither gives information, they will be neither rewarded nor punished. Each of these decision frames is one set, and a game may be any number of sets.

One of the more effective ways to be successful in the game is to use the “Tit for Tat” method, also called the “Tough but Fair” approach. To explain it simply, “An agent using this strategy will first cooperate, then subsequently replicate an opponent's previous action. If the opponent previously was cooperative, the agent is cooperative; if not, the agent is not (Wikipedia).”

In practical, day-today form, Tough but Fair works perfectly with the philosophy of treating others as you desire to be treated. I greet everyone warmly. I make eye contact and smile to those I meet. I shake hands firmly. I trust-- but verify-- those who are unknown to me. In short, I give everyone a chance to prove they are worthy of respect. It is only those who demonstrate they are unworthy that incur my wrath, and only until they redeem themselves! (This philosophy works well in self-defense, I might add, since it limits the amount of force needed to establish a victory condition and reduces the overkill that can get you prosecuted for excessive use of force.) The moment an adversary alters his stance from disrespectful or contemptuous back to reasonable and respectable, my stance alters as well, returning to the respectful person I prefer to be.

And finally, we reach Rule Number Three: Always be comfortable no matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing, or who you're with.

After ingesting the Red Pill, I would probably alter this to “hold your frame.” However, you should bear in mind that these rules were scribed some twenty years prior to my discovery of The Red Pill. It began with simply being comfortable in any situation. I noticed that I was closing myself off from my friends and family, locking myself away in my trailer, because I was unsure and uncomfortable in social settings. I am a “shell introvert” or “outgoing introvert”, which is essentially an introvert who seems to be an extrovert. Because of this, a curmudgeonly lifestyle becomes inertial. First, you stay home because you don't feel like going out, even though when you finally do go somewhere, you enjoy the company of people and you enjoy making them laugh and being a part of their joy of life. Then, because you're used to staying at home, it becomes harder and harder to leave for social activities.

Particularly after joining the Armed Forces in 1997, I realized that the travel I was required to perform put me in prime position to gather “ports.” (In another thread we have been discussing this term. A “port” is simply a long distance plate you see only when you travel to her area.) However, my natural inclination to refrain from social contact unless necessary caused problems. I was forced to add to my rules, deciding once and for all that comfort was a state of mind, not a condition of reality.

In the book Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein, a History and Moral Philosophy teacher ridicules the three inalienable rights of the American Constitution. While I cannot agree with all of his points, there is one that bears repeating:

"The third 'right' -- the 'pursuit of happiness'? It is indeed unalienable but it is not a right; it is simply a universal condition which tyrants cannot take away nor patriots restore. Cast me into a dungeon, burn me at the stake, crown me king of kings, I can 'pursue happiness' as long as my brain lives -- but neither gods nor saints, wise men nor subtle drugs, can insure that I will catch it."

So too, with comfort. Comfort is itself a universal condition that cannot be removed from the man who forces it upon himself. The man who enters a bar as if he owns the place, does so for that moment. The man who comfortably and warmly greets a subordinate will gain his allegiance. The man who comfortably works with those placed above him by appointment or ability will gain their respect. Comfort is about more than wearing a certain fit of clothing. It is about wearing an event or a room with equal facility. It is about the recognition that all eyes may be upon you and that is okay because you deserve to be seen!

I find that many of those who are uncomfortable in certain social situations are so inclined out of a deep seated belief that mirrors where I was when my long ago “One” walked away. They feel they don't deserve the spotlight or admiration of others. They feel they didn't earn the respect they desire, and as a result, it makes them uncomfortable to receive it.

No! I sit here now at a desk where my grandfather, the most Red Pill Alpha I've ever known, once sat, and I tell you that you do deserve the recognition for the hard work you do. You deserve the spotlight and the admiration of others. You damn well deserve it because you have worked for it.

Accept it and own it. Be comfortable in it.

Summary Depend upon yourself for happiness. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Always be comfortable no matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing, or who you're with. I hold these truths not to be self-evident, but buried within us all. They are practical, easy to follow, and constructive. They allow for simple self-reflection: Why did I fail to gain a number close? Because I was depending on her to make me happy (i.e: respond favorably to my approach) instead of seeking my own happiness from within (i.e: maintaining abundance mentality).

I hope they serve you well.

EDIT: Credit to u/baleet for correcting the text of Invictus. My quoted source was incorrect. Thank you!


[–]Namaste1994 81 points82 points  (15 children)

Rule Number Three: Always be comfortable no matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing, or who you're with.

This here if anything else, is the difference for me. If you cant be comfortable mentally then everything else will go straight to shit. People who arent comfortable generally analyze situations improperly and it's important that you regain control of your thoughts when it gets heated.

  1. You'll show it on the surface, and people notice your demenor and it'll help build social proof in that moment and beyond for anyone else who witnesses it.

2.It's just a good personal trait to add to your toolbox. It's nice to see people who dont fold under pressure and can still perform the same if not better(which is what im working on).

Thanks for the solid read, TRP is getting back on track once again.

[–]1Kolbath[S] 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the solid read, TRP is getting back on track once again.

That is very high praise. I'm honored. Thank you.

[–]Namaste1994 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Dont be bud, we're all here to help one another. If you got any more life lessons (im but a 21 year old Senior in College) feel free to shoot them on here, if its anything like this post i think it'll be well received.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah - there is a youtube video of joe rogan with the skinny guys saying something similar - think its called "sink in to what you are" - Duncan trussel.

[–]TheAureate 108 points109 points  (3 children)

This is incredible, Kolbath. Thank you so very much for sharing!

comfort was a state of mind, not a condition of reality

This sentence, I know, will change my life. Your third rule is not one I've ever heard of, and I love it.

You deserve the spotlight and the admiration of others. You damn well deserve it because you have worked for it.

You put my thought into words I won't be able to come up with for quite a while yet.

I'm just rambling on at this point, but I sincerely appreciate this. This is something everyone should see.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–]Enjoyitbeforeitsover 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Can you help explain to me what stoic means? Thanks. Google's confusing me atm. Is it just not giving a fuck and not showing it either?

    [–]Grifter32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's not letting your emotions control your decision making. It's holding frame, and not letting people see weakness. I want to say it's like an IDGAF attitude, but more like being ok no matter the outcome of any given situation.

    [–]Brain_Skew 59 points60 points  (2 children)

    You are the only person that you will be with from this very moment until the day you die, hopefully in a threesome with supermodels.

    I have always like the way Hunter S Thompson put this:

    “We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

    Thanks for your post man, stuff like this is why I come here

    [–]Ika- 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    That is just a golden quote, do you know where is it from? I wish for this to stay in my mind for a while

    [–]flyercomet 24 points25 points  (4 children)

    I like your "trust, but verify" approach laid out in your take on the golden rule. It dovetails with rules one and three. I am responsible for my own safety, comfort, and happiness. I cannot live my life alone so I must trust the people around me. Ultimately I choose my company so therein lies the personal responsibility.

    Very well presented.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    I knew he was former military when I saw the "trust but verify" quote

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I knew he was former military when I saw the "trust but verify" quote

    That does kind of stand out, doesn't it?

    [–]Zagiggity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    If only people knew.

    "Once we get to xyz we'll begin loading up our BFT's. Then we'll load out and return to the TOC. 3 hours later"

    [–]TecoAndJix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Makes me think of my favorite military motto: In God we trust, all others we monitor

    [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (5 children)

    Reading this was a great way to start the day. I'll share a few of my own rules that I live by.

    1) I will not willingly harm/sabotage myself. This applies to everything - diet, skipping exercise, procrastinating assignments, beating myself up when things don't go my way, etc.

    2) I will take responsibility for my situation, even if I am not always the cause of it. This ensures that I never worry about assigning blame. No matter who's fault, my situation is my situation.

    3) There is plenty to go around. You just have to be willing to look for it. This one helps with abundance mentality, obviously.

    [–]Kyuzo_ 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    1 and 2, holy fuck.

    Acknowledging that you're either harming or sabotaging yourself when you make certain decisions is huge.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    They seem obvious, right? But it is huge, like you said. The hard part is being conscious of each of your decisions. It isn't uncommon for me to think "am I wasting my time right now?" at least every few hours.

    That's another rule of mine. Don't waste resources - time, money, etc. I suppose it ties into rule one but it's also good to explicitly state as its own rule. When you feel like everything you do is important, and that you aren't wasting your time, you can be much more happy with the work you've done during the day. Everything I do is meaningful. Otherwise I don't waste my time on it.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I feel like I'm a bit too much overboard with this rule. My focus is insane since I started meditation, and much like how meditation is the practice of dismissing distracting thoughts, I started shunning distracting people from my life -- to the point where I pretty much detached myself from my social circle in pursuit of other goals such as fitness/studies.

    It starts with a friend asking you out for lunch, but you can't compromise your macros/diet. It then starts with a friend asking you out to a boat party, but you can't jeopardize your study plan. An old friend asks you out for a drink, but alcohol kills gains and you have a tight sleep regimen because otherwise you'll wake up late tomorrow and ruin your entire day.

    And because of that, being too tight on "not wasting my resources/time", it's almost like I've become detached -- I've inadvertently entered Monk Mode...

    Not gonna lie, I feel a bit lonely, and I'm not sure what I'm doing is even right (friends have said I've become much more aloof), despite the fact that I'm much more productive.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I experience the same thing. The cost of living a kickass and productive life is to leave all the bullshit behind.

    [–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    ♂ added.

    [–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 13 points14 points  (10 children)

    This post is amazing, top-quality stuff.

    With so much low-effort junk being posted, THIS is the kind of stuff that really stands out, because it helps a fellow man become more. It helps us to gain understanding and knowledge -- it educates, which is the key to unlocking the door that others cannot see. u/Kolbath, thank you for taking the time to write all this out and share.

    The whole post was fantastic. Other commenters are highlighting different sections, so I'd like to zero in on rule #2's section, which was of particular interest.

    ...a powerful and altruistic desire to improve others. It is almost as if the men who have reached the top of the mountain have looked back and said to themselves, “I would like my brothers here with me.”

    There's so much wisdom and intelligence in this philosophy. A lot of what I've learned and developed, I've had to do on my own, but a lot has also come from great resources like this sub and the generous contributors. I don't even want to entertain the thought of where I'd be without this sub. Further, I'm also involved in self-defence / martial arts. Interestingly, the most experienced, most skilled practitioners are also the most kind and generous. They want you to be there with them. They want you to succeed. They want you to be as skilled as they are. In many, many other fields, those with experience and skill want to horde it and keep it for themselves rather than share and help someone else develop their skills. "What, you don't know how to set up that server? I'll do it...just move, it's easier if I just do it rather than have you fuck it all up" (as if not knowing how to do something is some kind of violation against humanity) I never understood this, because we all start at the same place. No one is born great. Every skill is learned. Every piece of knowledge is learned. Take that skilled person, who hordes it all for themselves. Boil it all away, and you realize their attitude often comes from their incredible lack of self-confidence. They hide their fragile little selves behind power suits and job titles and expensive cars and expensive degrees.

    And as a sidenote for the young pups: Learning any new skill isn't rocket science. Everything is learnable. As you get older and accumulate more and more experiences and skills, you start recognizing patterns and parallels...parallels between cooking scrambled eggs and hanging sheet rock. Parallels between martial arts and oil painting. Commonalities between tax strategies and web design.

    Anyway, this comment got way, way derailed...loved the post. Also, I love the martial arts attitude of kindness and generosity mixed with genuine confidence and skill. I've yet to find an area of life where this philosophy cannot be applied.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 4 points5 points  (9 children)

    I appreciate the kind words. Thank you.

    Further, I'm also involved in self-defence / martial arts. Interestingly, the most experienced, most skilled practitioners are also the most kind and generous. They want you to be there with them. They want you to succeed. They want you to be as skilled as they are.

    I think that even martial arts (which are more art than martial any more) because they evolved from actual fighting systems, tend to breed that sort of lack of arrogance. A good instructor is focused on making sure his students can go home safely at night.

    I get very excited when a student can land a punch or kick squarely on me. My reasoning is that if they can do it to me, then the pissant mugger who attacks them is in for a very rude awakening. Last Friday a student hit me with a perfect 3-5 combination that I'd just taught him earlier in the week and I about exploded. He timed it perfectly, as I dropped the elbow to protect the ribs, wham! glove in my face. I couldn't wait for fight night to end so I could brag him up to everyone.

    I try to emulate the instructors who treated me like that when I was first starting out. I had some really shitty instructors, but also some who were so good they inspired me to do this for more than half my life. I sincerely hope I can be that for someone else.

    [–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 1 point2 points  (8 children)

    I couldn't wait for fight night to end so I could brag him up to everyone.

    Man, that is awesome, and to me what a real leader should be. Your attitude, I'm sure, is very inspiring to your students. I'd give my left nut to train with someone like you.

    Oddly, my instructor isn't the greatest and is a bit of a whack-job, but his top-level adult students (all 4th and 5th degree black belts) really are generous, genuine guys who have nearly as much experience as the lead instructor. The kinds of guys who'd stay an extra 30 mins after class to help you with something.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

    I couldn't wait for fight night to end so I could brag him up to everyone.

    Man, that is awesome, and to me what a real leader should be. Your attitude, I'm sure, is very inspiring to your students. I'd give my left nut to train with someone like you.

    Not unlikely. I travel all over. Shoot me a PM.

    Oddly, my instructor isn't the greatest and is a bit of a whack-job, but his top-level adult students (all 4th and 5th degree black belts) really are generous, genuine guys who have nearly as much experience as the lead instructor. The kinds of guys who'd stay an extra 30 mins after class to help you with something.

    Same with our chief instructor. Some of us are breaking away to create a new studio because we're sick of him. Paradoxically, he's built a network of really great people. They are my family in every single way but blood, but the head guy... Prick!

    [–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's the exact same paradox I'm experiencing. PM sent. Thanks man!

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Hi, (great post btw) I've got a quick question for you though

    Which martial art do you practice?

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I hold black belts in Ishitu-ryu karate and Togokure-ryu ninjutsu and currently train in and teach Krav Maga, which I find so much more fun, realistic, and dangerous.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Nice, I've been wanting to get stuck into a martial art for a while now. Not quite sure which one to go for yet tho. Wing Chun appeals to me mainly eve cause of the philosophy though, not for its combat skill.

    Lastly if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask for your advice on choosing a martial art. I'm a young man, 19, 6'1, 144lbs (trying to bulk up currently). I want a martial art with a philosophy behind it I can really get behind as well as be able to use those skills I'll learn in a street fight/ self-defence situation if I ever did need to (reason I'm unsure on wing chun).

    Thanks!

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    For philosophy, I do like the theories behind Kung Fu. Unfortunately, real combat skill takes a very long time to learn in that art. Sadly, most traditional martial arts are two or three hundred years out of date.

    Krav Maga is one of the only ones that is constantly evolving. Even the symbol is a broken circle. That allows new ideas to flow in and old ideas to flow out. At least five major techniques have changed significantly since I started teaching it three years ago.

    BJJ is also in constant evolution, as is MMA, but my only issue with those is that they are structured specifically for sport combat. In a multiple attacker scenario, a BJJ or MMA fighter is at a disadvantage because he doesn't train against those things. I have enormous respect for both, but that is a pretty hefty hindrance. Bad guys always have a force multiplier, the three main ones are a size/gender mismatch, a weapon, or a second asshole to jump you from behind.

    Personally, I like the philosophy behind Krav Maga, too. I'm not fighting for fun. If I'm attacked, I want to go home safely. I'm an animal trying to escape. I will gouge eyes, bite, strike the throat and nerves, kick the groin... Anything I need to do to get home safely.

    There's a saying. If you find yourself in a fair fight it's because your tactics suck. I believe that. YMMV, though.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Krav Maga is one of the only ones that is constantly evolving. Even the symbol is a broken circle. That allows new ideas to flow in and old ideas to flow out. At least five major techniques have changed significantly since I started teaching it three years ago.

    I know what's mine when I see it, and this sentence definitely piqued my interest in Krav Maga I'm going to learn more about to see if it's for me which I really think it might be now. Hopefully there are some local classes.

    In a multiple attacker scenario, a BJJ or MMA fighter is at a disadvantage because he doesn't train against those things.

    It's for this reason I've limited my search for a martial art down to the ones that take this into consideration.

    I'm not fighting for fun. If I'm attacked, I want to go home safely. I'm an animal trying to escape. I will gouge eyes, bite, strike the throat and nerves, kick the groin... Anything I need to do to get home safely.

    My thoughts exactly! This coupled with a philosophy I can really fuck with are the two things I absolutely desire the most from a martial art.

    So wow, I can't thank you enough. First you write probably the best article I've ever read, brimming with practical advice, life experiences, all from an honest and righteous perspective. (Just like my idol Patrice O'Neal would do). Just wanted to let you know I'm very grateful for your help, and your words will go along way from turning this 19 year old boy into a man.

    God Bless.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm really honored to have helped.

    [–]Subtletorious 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    a low CC, very sexy girl just shy of her own graduation from high school. Despite her relative inexperience (I was her third cock

    This section jumped off the page. Three sexual partners before end of high school is now the standard for a low-count?

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    a low CC, very sexy girl just shy of her own graduation from high school. Despite her relative inexperience (I was her third cock

    This section jumped off the page. Three sexual partners before end of high school is now the standard for a low-count?

    This was in 1995. And one of the mistakes I was making was fairly high CC girls.

    [–]TheAureate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Most hot girls in high school today see at least 10 dicks before graduation.

    [–]pantsoffire 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    In 1991 his relationship ended, after his depression he meet a new girl. So perhaps around the the mid 90s mark he hooked up with a teenager. Sounds plausible to me.

    [–]EmDeeEx14 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    Your story sounds frighteningly similar to mine. Kind of eerie. Even the times of the big heartbreak match up. I would like to also point out that graduating high school is a bitter experience to any young adult. Tis your first plunge into the world, and if you're anything like me, you got a hell of a surprise. That can prove to be overwhelming to some, lead them into depression, that's where these rules can also benefit someone.

    [–]ioncehadsexinapool 7 points8 points  (4 children)

    I've been out of high school for almost 4 years and I'm just now starting to beat this depression. Sucks man

    [–]EmDeeEx14 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Three years for me brah. Same boat, just getting back into the swing of things. Don't stress it, we're all gonna make it.

    After all, we have a strategy.

    [–]ioncehadsexinapool 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Fuck depression. Some days are better than others but I like to think of each day on a scatter plot. The general direction is towards better, I hope. I feel like I'll feel a lot better once I get my shit together. Idk. Maybe I'll start meditating again

    [–]EmDeeEx14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Do that, my friend. Always helps when all else fails

    [–]dracolius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I've known guys who carried their sense of loss over 'the one that got away' well into midlife or further. Gotta purge that shit somehow. For me it was a combo of seeing her as she actually is instead of idealized, forgiving myself for letting the attachment get too strong (while resolving not to be such a dumbass again), and improving my situation enough so I had more options. You could say I'm more jaded now, but when people are genuinely good to me I recognize and appreciate it perhaps more than before since I know how rare it is.

    Like you said earlier, life after high school gets scary fast. The safety net is gone, and your screwups will have larger consequences. For those who find themselves at a disadvantage, improving your own mental health - in large part by improving yourself - should be the top priority. Once you realize that falling to the ground and breaking some shit instead of bouncing off a net will ultimately make you stronger if it doesn't kill you (and if it kills you, you won't care anyway), you can actually look forward to inevitable future failures because you know they will teach you valuable lessons you can't absorb as fully any other way.

    [–]KnG_Kong 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    This is what we came here for. Cheers for the words.

    [–]Paratonir 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    This third rule will definitely change my life. Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I can easily relate to your college years since I am also going through a phase of social anxiety and lack of confidence.

    [–]fingerthemoon 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    Thanks for the write up. I get a lot from these life stories and lessons from guys who have been through it. Much appreciation.

    Treat others as you wish to be treated.

    The Golden Rule. This one hasn't worked that well for me. I'm much more open minded and laid back than most people and many things that wouldn't bother me bother other people. I've offended people by being bluntly honest, which is something I appreciate in another person.

    I now try to treat others the way they want to be treated. Within reason of coarse, as I will not do certain things. But I try to be aware of peoples customs, scruples and taboos to prevent unnecessary rocking of the boat. I try to learn what ideologies someone I'm interacting with subscribes to and censor myself appropriately.

    When I was younger I questioned everything and was outspoken. I would criticize something if I thought it could be better. This is how I would like to be treated and very much enjoy open debate. If I'm doing something and you see a better way, I would love to here about it. If I hold a belief that you find fault with, let's discuss it. I can also take criticism and value friends who tell me what they really think. Not everyone is like this though and I have annoyed many a man by pointing out a batter way to do something or offering constructive criticism. So now I keep my observations to myself and only offer advice when asked.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Thanks for the write up. I get a lot from these life stories and lessons from guys who have been through it. Much appreciation.

    Glad you enjoyed it, thanks.

    Treat others as you wish to be treated.

    The Golden Rule. This one hasn't worked that well for me. I'm much more open minded and laid back than most people and many things that wouldn't bother me bother other people. I've offended people by being bluntly honest, which is something I appreciate in another person.

    I now try to treat others the way they want to be treated. Within reason of coarse, as I will not do certain things. But I try to be aware of peoples taboos and prevent unnecessary rocking of the boat. I try to learn what ideologies someone I'm interacting with subscribes to and censor myself appropriately.

    When I was younger I questioned everything and was outspoken. I would criticize something if I thought it could be better. This is how I would like to be treated. If I'm doing something and you see a better way, I would love to here about it. I can also take criticism and value friends who tell me what they really think. Not everyone is like this though and I have annoyed many a man by pointing out a batter way to do something or offering constructive criticism. So now I keep my observations to myself and only offer advice when asked.

    This one seems to be giving more people trouble. Perhaps I need to rewrite that section. It's not about being a walkover or subsuming your personal wishes and desires for someone else. It's more about treating people well in a Dale Carnegie fashion, but protecting yourself if they are surley or nasty to you.

    One of the things I mentioned is that I am quick to fire off, "You don't know what you're talking about. Here's why. Now shut the fuck up until you do." Like you, I appreciate that sort of bluntness. I can admit when I'm wrong, but a lot of people can't.

    Funny story: Several years ago I was on a disastrous American Airlines flight cross country. Absolutely fucking rude stewards and stewardesses, late... Just a shitty flight in every way because of the humans, not the logistics. So I called the United help desk to complain. The help desk person listened to my rant for a good ten minutes before saying, "Sir, I don't have a record of that flight."

    I lost my shit. "Are you telling me I walked here from Denver?"

    "No, sir. But I think the problem might be that you were on an American Airlines flight and this is the United Airlines help desk."

    I had to take a moment before I started laughing and asked to speak with his boss. I told the boss what a great job the guy had done turning me around and managing to be respectful when he had every right in the world to say, "You fucking idiot!"

    Moral of the story is: if you're quick to complain but not to compliment, you're not being blunt and outspoken, you're just being an asshole. (Not saying this is you.) But this is why I use the TBF (Tough But Fair) approach. I try to be as vocal in my appreciation of excellent service and attitude as I am in my condemnation of poor service and treatment.

    [–]fingerthemoon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Ha, funny story. I think the whole 'do unto others' thing is complex. It brings up ideas of morality, manipulation and social positioning.

    Dale Carnegie is a good example. If it was as simple as the Golden Rule he would have no reason to write 'How To Win Friends And Influence People'.

    It also doesn't work that well with women. If I treated them the way I want to be treated I'd have a difficult time getting sugar lips. I also wouldn't very much enjoy being coerced into anal sex. She may not either at first but can learn to like it, even beg for it. I used to 'punish' my ex that way if she was being too bitchy and bossy. She never liked it much but would enjoy it after awhile. Never forced myself but made it clear she had to submit to 'punishment' or leave.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    True, but while you don't treat women the way you want to be treated in specific, you do in general.

    They don't know it, but they kinda want you to be a dick to them. That's meeting their needs, which is what you want them to do for you. In general, the rule still applies.

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It is shit like this, and tips on getting pussy, that I subscribe to the redpill. Take all that victimhood shit and 25 cents and you can't even buy a cup of coffee. With this mindset though you could conquer the world.

    Excellent post, brother.

    [–]Dustin_Bromain 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    I'm curious, how do you get and stay motivated to do things in life? I'm loving the self-improvement path that i'm on but I have no end-goal for myself. I don't have any reason for being.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    I'm curious, how do you get and stay motivated to do things in life? I'm loving the self-improvement path that i'm on but I have no end-goal for myself. I don't have any reason for being.

    It's probably different for each person, but I personally stay motivated because I love learning new things. Find something new to learn each day, no matter how mundane it is. Let something pique your curiosity and explore it for a few minutes.

    Here's a ridiculous example: the other morning I was brushing my teeth and it occurred to me to wonder why it is that fluoride is good for your teeth. So I grabbed my tablet and looked it up.

    Keep a journal and make a couple notes in it each day. Did you lift? Write that down. What did you learn? Write that down. After a month, read it over and you'll see how much you've improved.

    Your goals don't always have to be endgame. Sometimes they can be simply end of day.

    [–]ShounenEgo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Let something pique your curiosity and explore it for a few minutes.

    This is the only way to develop a passion. Sometimes you even lack curiosity but manage to pick up something out of obligation or because you just want to "try something different" and after a while it grows on you.

    [–]Dustin_Bromain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This speaks to me brother. Many thanks for the quick reply.

    [–]ioncehadsexinapool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Get a goal. When you start seeing improvements and realize your effort is putting you closer to your goal, then you get even more motivated because that hard work was rewarded with improvement

    [–]pantsoffire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Perhaps finding a reason, however temporary, is your current reason. Upon reaching "it", you will have become a different person seeking new reasons.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Couldn't agree more with Rule #2.

    Too many people on here think that all they have to do to be an alpha male is act like an asshole to every woman that they meet.

    edit: word

    [–]1htbf 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Great post and this is the core of TRP for me, far away from "manipulating women into having sex with you" that other people might want to tag on the sub.

    Anyway, I have one single question about the Third Rule, especially the "Being comfortable no matter where you are" part. Let's say I hate night clubs (maybe because I'm an outgoing introvert ?) and I feel like a fish in the desert in there. I feel totally out of place. In a way, I'm uncomfortable there because there is nothing to do for me there, I don't drink, I don't want to meet the people there (the environment is not suited to talking anyway) and I sure as hell don't want to dance.

    So... am I supposed to find a way to be comfortable even there ?

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Great post and this is the core of TRP for me, far away from "manipulating women into having sex with you" that other people might want to tag on the sub.

    Anyway, I have one single question about the Third Rule, especially the "Being comfortable no matter where you are" part. Let's say I hate night clubs (maybe because I'm an outgoing introvert ?) and I feel like a fish in the desert in there. I feel totally out of place. In a way, I'm uncomfortable there because there is nothing to do for me there, I don't drink, I don't want to meet the people there (the environment is not suited to talking anyway) and I sure as hell don't want to dance.

    So... am I supposed to find a way to be comfortable even there ?

    Great insight. I think I can actually answer this because I dislike nightclubs for the same reasons.

    On those few occasions when I've been dragged to a nightclub, I've made myself comfortable by finding the one or two elements that I can be comfortable in. Most of the ones I've been to have had at least one section where conversation was possible. I used to hang out there, until I realized that was violating my third rule. I began to force myself into the dancing areas. One reason why people like us don't care for nightclubs is that we don't dance often. You can pick it up as you go, which is forcing yourself out of your comfort zone (Get comfortable with that. It's how you learn.) or you can take a couple of dance classes. Call up a local dance studio and tell them you're an adult looking to learn how to club dance. Tell them you only want three or five one hour lessons. Ask them where to go. If they don't have adult classes, they'll know of someplace that does.

    Part of the reason we get uncomfortable in places like this is because, like you said, there's nothing for us to do there. I generally give the bartender a $20 when I walk in, introduce myself, and ask, "No matter what I order for the rest of the night, may I have water with three olives, please?" (I don't like to drink in public.) I stay sober and in control all night.

    However, you did bring up one major point:

    I don't want to meet the people there

    If that's the case, then I don't see any reason to go there. Clubs are social centers, so if you're not looking to meet the people that are there, the entire idea becomes somewhat self defeating.

    [–]1htbf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for taking the time to answer.

    I'm 26 yo it's been years since I've set foot in a nightclub. I used to go there, dragged by friends and I did try to busy myself either talking, drinking or dancing when a hot girl or a a good male friend insists on it. But I was too self conscious of my body and feeling awkward in your shoes defeats comfortability.

    Anyway, at some point, I just stopped. My social circles changed a lot anyways, with people much less club-savvy but even when it happened, I just went "no thanks, I'll pass, have a great night". Doing so, I always felt like I was missing out on something, especially If I was having a good time with newly met people of the group. Like ou get to a friend's place, you meet a new girl, you talk a bit over the night, starting to build some connection and then you can't take it further because she's going to the nightclub and you're not. I'm ok with it (thanks to abundance mentality) but it still feels like I'm missing out on something.

    I guess the question is : "Is avoiding and declining to go to places where we'd feel uncomfortable a violation of your third rule ?" I know myself quite well and I love going out of my confort zone (either by travelling to a place for a long time or trying something new) so it's not about that.

    The hardest experience was a month ago, when I was visiting a city with a girl I liked (I won't go into details of our "relationship" but we're distant cousins). She wanted to go to a nightclub with newly met girl friends but she needed me to take her, because her parents/family would never let her go by herself and would only allow it if I was there. So I had the choice of either going with her or be the reason she can't go. I hated the position, both options felt like "You lost". The first one because I'm compromising my wants for her wants. The second because I'm depriving her of something unique for no good reason than 'I don't want to'. I took the third option : take her there without actually going inside and doing other stuff (I walked, I read, I sat at a coffee) before taking her home at 2am. I'm fairly sure I did the right thing. But I can't help and fantasise about another me who is able to comfortably own a nightclub and be able to give her a great time there.

    Again, thank you for reading and giving insight.

    [–]alveoli1 3 points4 points  (5 children)

    Thank you. This was incredibly well written. A lot of it rang true to me, especially the part about being an "outgoing introvert".

    I was curious if you have any suggestions on resources for improving game. This is one area I feel I am lacking.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    I'm certainly no game master, but the number one key is abundance mentality. Remember that she may disregard you. The next one might as well, but one of the ones after that won't.

    As an exercise, I tried to get rejected by fifty women in one week once. It didn't work! I made it to eleven and got a number. Had to fucking start over from scratch.

    If you get rejected enough, you honestly won't give a shit. It improves your game because it makes a natural IDGAF attitude.

    [–]JumpXVI 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    This is actually a really neat idea, going in with the express intention of getting blown out by a girl. One may "accidentally" succeed precisely because the target will sense how outcome independant you are. You very, very much do not give a shit if you get her number, and that intrigues her.

    One thing I do have an issue with regarding abundance mentality is when you say "one of the ones after that won't". I totally get that a man shouldn't care which one this may be, but this statement implies that at some point "one of the ones" will indeed stick around. Does she by sheer dumb luck, or is it the man's own game that keeps her? How would you argue that your regard of "won't" here is not kind of contrary to abundance mentality?

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    This is actually a really neat idea, going in with the express intention of getting blown out by a girl. One may "accidentally" succeed precisely because the target will sense how outcome independant you are. You very, very much do not give a shit if you get her number, and that intrigues her.

    One thing I do have an issue with regarding abundance mentality is when you say "one of the ones after that won't". I totally get that a man shouldn't care which one this may be, but this statement implies that at some point "one of the ones" will indeed stick around. Does she by sheer dumb luck, or is it the man's own game that keeps her? How would you argue that your regard of "won't" here is not kind of contrary to abundance mentality?

    I think it's the very foundation of it. Abundance mentality is not "I don't want female company." Rather, it is, "I do want it, I just don't care who provides it.

    I don't think it's dumb luck that causes her to respond and give out her number, IOIs, etc. I think it's a fundamental compatibility. She sees you as a viable mate, as alpha, because you're not interested. As a result, she tries to make you interested.

    Remember, this intricate dance is merely to get across the moat. Getting a number is the first step to developing a relationship of any nature, ONS, plate, LTR, etc. After you have an opportunity to interact with her, you can then decide if the rest of her personality is compatible with yours on any level.

    Think about the submission process for authors to get published. They have to send a fuck ton of manuscripts to a fuck ton of publishers to get a fuck ton of rejections, but it only takes one to give them a chance and BOOM! JK Rowling.

    Maybe that's why I don't give a fuck about being rejected by chicks. I have a folder with 233 rejection letters from publishers in it. When a girl shoots me down, I literally could not care less.

    [–]JumpXVI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fair enough. I guess I'm thinking primarily from a mid- to long-term perspective, where I'm less interested in winning short-term relationships (and thus not caring if she peaces out after a few weeks/months).

    I definitely don't give a shit if I get blown out by a few HB9s one night but get a HB7 instead, or even "have to" go home empty-handed that night, because it's not like I'll need to fill that hand with something to stroke my...ego (lol).

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Very good post and well written too. I honestly couldn't put it better myself.

    It's refreshing to read something different than awalt and alpha this or beta that.

    I find the best way to truly unplug is to focus on your own happiness and then helping others see the light too.

    After all we are in this together.

    Including women.

    This society is just too fucked up and is way too dependent on others and materialistic shit creating their happiness for them.

    Everybody buys into it at some point in their life because it is everywhere.

    Marketing is dependent on this very technique.

    "I can help you be happy if you buy my product."

    People are taught to feel superior over others if they have "more" in their life over others but in reality have just as many challenges as anybody else does.

    In the end only ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and making the best of our own situation.

    People are not really judged in how much they have but with how they are able to deal with adversity or how people deal with their own personal challenges.

    Red pill calls it maintaining frame.

    It's just a very efficient way of dealing with our challenges in life.

    No matter if it's with women, career, and personal growth.

    Solutions are found most of the time when your able to be level headed and positive about finding a solution.

    Not only finding a solution but that is where the abundance mentality is born.

    [–]jimmyjoejimbob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is the kind of gold that makes it worthwhile reading here. This is the sort of philosophy we need to be talking about. Simple rules to live life by.

    [–]BUTT_GETTER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Right fucking on. Good for you being the change you wanted in your life. Incredible story.

    [–]SDSAM21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I think you communicated very very well about GLO and Rollo. Great post.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If you aren't comfortable in your own skin how can you expect a girl to be at ease in your presence? Being comfortable in your own skin is a prerequisite to self-confidence.

    [–]1DRMMR76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is much better than the "Come at me bro!!" attitude most of the RP theory posts seem to have these days.

    [–]StoicBeard 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Fucking hell I'm an outgoing introvert and I had no idea. I have plates but I hate going out in places besides gym and my favorite restaurant otherwise I just hate going outside. I have a lot of work to do, how do i start fixing this?

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fucking hell I'm an outgoing introvert and I had no idea. I have plates but I hate going out in places besides gym and my favorite restaurant otherwise I just hate going outside. I have a lot of work to do, how do i start fixing this?

    You're not broken. You just need to make a concerted effort to do two things. Get out of the house to new places and experiences, and find a way to recharge your batteries.

    I bring my kindle everywhere, and when I need some alone time, I pop out and read a chapter of something. Ten or fifteen minutes really helps. Then I can go a bit longer and enjoy myself.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Comfort zone: all growth occurs outside of it. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. More situations, more opportunities to grow and work on the social skills.

    I'd rather be at home playing my guitar or writing/recording my latest masterpiece than go out amongst the idiots. I hate the bar scene but I do realize there are other places to congregate. I need to force myself to do more outside activities and meet more people.

    [–]TheLife_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The prisoner's dilemma is one of my favourite thought experiments. It comes in a bunch of variations, but the general gist (for those who don't know) is this set of rules:

    • Two people are being interviewed in separate rooms, unable to see the other.
    • If person A and person B remain silent, both will serve one year in prison.
    • If person A betrays person B and B remains silent, person A will be set free while B serves 3 years in prison. The reverse is also true.
    • If both A and B betray each other, both will serve two years.

    The first time I was presented with this argument (in the 7th or 8th grade,) I barely had to think about the answer. I would, absolutely, 100% roll over on the other guy every time. It doesn't matter if the other guy is my friend, my girl, my business partner, whatever.

    The rules of the game reward such behaviour. They remove the worst possible punishment (3 years prison) and present the greatest possible reward (getting out free.) Whether the other guy sees this or not is irrelevant. You've given yourself the best possible set of options regardless.

    This reflects perfectly how women behave if they're not kept properly in line. They cheat because it not only removes the worst possible punishment (being left desolate and used up,) while presenting the best possible reward (having beta bux with Chad Thundercock/s on the side.) If she get's caught out cheating, then she loses BB orbiter, but keeps the money flowing, and can freely go for AF (divergent from the classic prisoner's dilemma example, but a powerful point nontheless.)

    It seems callous, but I encourage people to keep this in mind. This is the world we live in, and if you don't play the game, somebody else eventually will. That's how BB's get kept down.

    Edited in a third condition on the cheating woman. 2nd edit because I fucked up the original ruleset.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm honored and I hope it helps.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This was an A+ quality post. Your principles exude in your writing.

    [–]caesarfecit 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    This post is miles better than the one above it.

    TheRedPill came about because the status quo in dating today, allows women to operate in bad faith. When you can't get divorced easily, you become a lot more invested in making your marriage work, and only seek divorce if that's the only sane option.

    Nowadays, women not only have the option of minimal cost divorce, the status quo practically encourages it!

    And the same can be said about dating (calling an unfaithful woman a tramp is now slut-shaming) and women playing games (complaining about the friendzone = neckbeard incel shitlord).

    Now there's a lot of people on TRP who say the appropriate solution is to never trust women, and only engage with them strictly on your terms. This is just acting in bad faith in the anticipation of bad faith. No woman in their right mind would knowingly get into such an arrangement unless it was just about sex for them too. That's the real reason why FWB arrangements have a short shelf life - if there isn't any bad faith involved, you're just Mr. Right Now and therefore temporary.

    What the Red Pill should really be about is the three principles OP just laid out:

    1. Depend on yourself for happiness - this provides the basis of non-neediness, which is essential for sanity with women. Neediness on the part of the man, is what gives needy game-playing women their in. At the end of the day, this is classic Buddha - if you depend on others for happiness, you will inevitably suffer disappointment and bitterness.

    2. Treat others the way you wish to be treated - If you don't operate in bad faith, you won't be asking others to operate in bad faith. Fighting fire with fire is not a solution for long-term needs. That's how I interpret Christ's teaching of "love thy neighbor". It shouldn't mean turning yourself into a martyr/patsy/super-altruist. It should mean giving other people the benefit of a doubt because bad faith is a vicious cycle that left unchecked destroys social groups, be they 2 people or 2 million.

    3. Always be comfortable no matter what - this is how you tell whether you or others are operating in bad faith. If something is making you feel tense, unsure, jumpy, edgy whatever - it's a warning sign. Not because you're afraid, but because deep down you know something isn't right. Bad faith is uncomfortable because it always involves some form of self-deception or cognitive dissonance - which divides your mind rather than uniting it. It's not that you can't or shouldn't feel that tension - more that when you become aware of it, you must get to the bottom of it and resolve the contradiction as best you can.

    If you follow those three rules, you will only deal with women in good faith, and women will only deal with you in good faith (Edit: because you'll quickly screen out the women operating in bad faith). Good faith is one of the necessary requirements of healthy sexual relationships. If you want to have no-strings sex, knock yourself out, just don't lie to yourself or her. You don't need to be an open book for women, just recognize that all deception starts from within, and if you don't act with deception, the people you deal with won't feel a moral sanction to do so as well. That's the real problem with "an eye for an eye" - when you anticipate betrayal without good reason, and deal with others dishonestly, you give others the sanction to operate dishonestly because they can say (to themselves primarily), that regardless of how dishonest they are, that you're dishonest too.

    TL;DR - one of the best arguments for RedPill is the following: "an honest man surrounded by thieves is a fool first, and later a victim". However, moral hypocrisy is never solved with more moral hypocrisy.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "Nowadays, women not only have the option of minimal cost divorce, the status quo practically encourages it!"

    And the courts treat them like helpless innocents who could do no wrong, and simply can't fend for themselves. Poor things!

    I enjoy old B&W TV from before the feminist era primarily for the representation of men being men and being unapologetically masculine, and observing how women interacted with those men. Each knew their role and place and happily accepted it. It was the natural course of events.

    So the other day I'm watching a Perry Mason episode and it starts out with a wife mentioning divorce. The husband said he would threaten to contest it. Back then before no-fault divorce laws a woman had to go to great lengths to get divorced. My how far we've come.

    My cousin recently announced his upcoming wedding to take place next August. I sure hope he discovers this sub pronto.

    [–]DonBravera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Before my big brother moved away around the time I was 15, he told me one thing, "Keep it Real", your 3rd rule goes along with this exactly how I imagine, interesting that it is my first rule in life...

    It plays into a lot of other areas as well I get in a lot of arguments because I'm very passionate and adamant on my beliefs In social settings it has embedded in me not to pretend to be someone I'm not

    [–]RationalKing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Great post bro, I hope we will be seeing more of your posts in the future.

    [–]PachinkoSAN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Incredible, incredible, incredible. I love absorbing this life enriching stuff. Compared to the garbage we find on television...

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Rule #1, "Depend only on yourself for your happiness," is such a strong statement that it's really a corollary of abundance mentality.

    Another strong corollary that supports happiness: Want, but don't expect.

    This is because desire motivates. Expectation does not. Desire is in your control. What you expect from others is not. You can follow your desires. You can't make others meet expectations. Fulfilling a desire brings pleasure. Fulfilling an expectation is basically just treading water once you've already mentally cashed the check.

    I used to divide that up when I coached football.

    "We expect to get two turnovers. Our goal is to force three more."

    "We expect to score once on defense. Our goal is to score twice."

    And so forth. I think managing expectations and goals is a critical part of making reasonable improvements in yourself... Or really in anything that requires hard work.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "Fulfilling a desire brings pleasure."

    But extinguishing desire leads to true happiness if you want to get Eastern philosophical about it. I get your drift though.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Good shit right here. Makes me think of a question for y'all.

    I moved to a city and I've been slaying some pretty mediocre looking girls. It's great to get laid but as soon as the nut comes out I want to never call these girls back again.

    Do you slay any girl above a 5 in your path? And if so, what's the best way to never talk to them again afterwards? They know where I live.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I've been here a while. This is one of the most enlightening posts I've read in a long time. The wisdom gained through hardship is invaluable. Thank you for sharing /u/Kolbath.

    I'm really glad it's useful to you. Thank you for reading.

    I recently ended my first significant LTR (nearly 2 years). I've been touchy and on edge, wracked with fear and insecurity. I even snapped at other users on TRP. This is exactly the message I needed to hear. Thanks, again.

    edit: One other thing I always like to joke about when I read something like this on TRP: Doesn't this go to show you how hateful this place is! Definitely a hate group! lol

    Yeah, apparently I'm now being talked about over at the BP forum because I "like abuse porn." Ah well, the higher you go, the more clearly you show in the sights of those who want to try to shoot you down.

    [–]mykonos_rm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I just sent this to my little brother who started college. My dad read it apparently - he sent me a text saying "I'm fucked."

    [–]getRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Short version:

    • Depend only on yourself for your happiness.

    • Treat others the way you want to be treated, and

    • Always be comfortable no matter where you are, what you're doing, what you're wearing, or who you're with.

    [–]Senior Contributoradam-l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Which books have you written? Give us some links.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I live by these rules too but only because I want to. I have never done any of this to impress women. I've only been myself for that and it has not worked most of the time. Regardless, I still live by that and these three rules.

    [–]bodiwait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Maybe this will help others understand the Golden Rule: Treat others like they want to be treated, but never better than they treat you.

    For instance, if a girl enjoys being treated like a slut and is always respectful to you, you'll treat her like a slut. Untill she disrespects you. Then you withdraw your attention/ time with her

    [–]frekinghell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sometimes I think the red pill sucks. This post made me realize again why I actually come here. Thanks. I hope I can make the changes you did for a happier and better life.

    [–]Anon-Dutch -1 points0 points  (5 children)

    I expected someone to have pointed this out already, but apparently the community is asleep at the wheel. Rule number 2 is in direct conflict with the most basic tenet of TRP, namely that men and women are different. Treating a woman like you want to be treated would be treating her like a man. Try that at your own peril. A better rule would be; treat others as they wish to be treated. The difficulty with that is that you cannot rely on how they tell you they want to be treated, you must infer from their responses how they want to be treated (a.k.a. watch what they do, not what they say). Rules 1 and 3 are great, but rule 2 is garbage in the context of inter-gender dynamics.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

    The reason why no one else pointed that out is because they read the rest of the fucking post and saw the application of game theory!

    Kindly finish reading and note where I explicitly stated that you depart from treating people as you wish to be treated in order to apply "Tit-for-tat", which is, in fact, the essence of TRP philosophy towards other people.

    [–]Anon-Dutch -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    I read the post start to finish. Rules 1 and 3 were great, the section on tit-for-tat was great, however proposing the golden rule in the context of inter-gender dynamics is tantamount to a cardinal sin. At the end of the day, it doesn't impact me one iota, but I honestly think it may lead some guys here astray, especially because it's sandwiched between two acknowledgedly great rules. It's your post, it's your choice, but please consider editing the second rule, not for my sake or yours, but for the benefit of the forum.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    It's your post, it's your choice, but please consider editing the second rule, not for my sake or yours, but for the benefit of the forum.

    1. No. Those are my three rules.

    2. The forum has clearly spoken on this matter and approves as written.

    3. Thank you. And I'm not being sarcastic. I appreciate the feedback, but like any feedback, I'm going to internalize it and judge whether or not to use it. I do not believe you are correct. Looking at your post history, I don't believe you yourself should be commenting on what TRP is because I don't believe you fully understand it yourself.

    [–]Anon-Dutch -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    1. It's your funeral.
    2. It's your funeral.
    3. You're welcome, and it's your funeral.

    [–]pantsoffire -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    Kolbath- thank you. For your words now and for when I come to slowly digest some more in the future. I have long felt there is a potential middle ground between Alpha Fucks! TM and Beta Pussy Blues. An area between black and white. Good or Evil, a comfortable middle ground if you will. Your post highlights this idea or ideal.

    I believe a truely comfortable man, or woman, will accept another's superiority gracefully, wither it be momentary or ongoing- due to their own self faith. Their own self knowledge. Their comfortable awareness of self. That sounds like a much more realistic and comfortable ideal to strive for than Women are sluts and you are either beneath me or against me.

    [–]ihaphleas -2 points-1 points  (13 children)

    The Golden Rule is wrong. I treated my wife like I wanted to be treated -- it didn't work -- I respected her, but she didn't respect me. Treat others how they would like or how they deserve to be treated -- not everyone wants or deserves the same thing.

    edit: my example is apparently not clear enough. The Golden rule, as it is usually known, is an application of egoism to morality ... it's a way for people who can't imagine other people's needs and wants to act morally. Read some Nietzsche or Ayn Rand.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (12 children)

    The Golden Rule is wrong. I treated my wife like I wanted to be treated -- it didn't work -- I respected her, but she didn't respect me. Treat others how they would like or how they deserve to be treated -- not everyone wants or deserves the same thing.

    I think you need to read that section again. Every single person that has a commented about how the "golden rule is wrong" has managed to completely ignore the section on game theory and the "Tough but Fair" philosophy.

    You don't give way to others because that's how they want to be treated. You treat others with respect and kindness as long as they do they same to you. If they don't you meet like with like until they begin treating you properly. Then you treat them with respect and kindness again. Please reread that section.

    [–]PedroIsWatching 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    People are just trying to rationalize away what you're saying because they're uncomfortable. This was a great post, dude.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    People are just trying to rationalize away what you're saying because they're uncomfortable. This was a great post, dude.

    I appreciate that. It's also possible that the TL;DR needs some tightening. If people are reading only that and not the rationale behind each rule, it does come across like the traditional beta version of the Golden Rule.

    I'll think on it and may edit it further today.

    [–]ihaphleas -3 points-2 points  (7 children)

    Don't call it the Golden Rule then.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Don't call it the Golden Rule then.

    It's my post. I'll call it Gerald if I wanna.

    [–]ihaphleas -1 points0 points  (5 children)

    Words have meanings, learn to use them or you'll be misunderestimated.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Words have meanings, learn to use them or you'll be misunderestimated.

    Call me when you've been published. If you bothered to read the entire post you'd know where the problem is. A mirror might also help. The post has almost 300 up votes and one person whining that the terms don't align to his worldview. Suck it up, cupcake. There's plenty of contextual information in the post for you to understand my meaning. Good day.

    PS: Misunderestimated isn't a word. Are you seriously...?

    [–]ihaphleas -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

    It's funny, I have been published. Now you're resorting to ad hominem attacks to defend what was a mistake. The rest of the post is good, just don't call it the "Golden Rule," call it the "Red Rule" or something.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Shut. The. Fuck. Up. If you don't like my post, go write your own, asshole.

    [–]ihaphleas -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    This is truly hilarious now. I said I liked your post but didn't agree with your use of "Golden Rule," but you're incapable of taking advice without flying into a rage. Learn to control your emotions -- play some chess or go/baduk against people better than you. Also, don't waste your time with (people you think are) trolls.

    PS: That's the joke.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Actually, you're just being a prick.

    1. You're not published. If you were, you wouldn't use made up words and incorrectly apply "ad hominem". Nice try.

    2. You're in a deep minority of one.

    3. You're flat out wrong. I'll title my own work whatever the fuck I want. Your opinion is not requested or desired.

    4. Fuck you.

    5. I assure you that I'm not even close to rage. I just think you're acting like a jackass and I'm more than happy to call you out on it until I lose interest.

    6. Interest officially lost. Get stuffed.

    [–]Anon-Dutch -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Tit-for-tat strategy in games is sound. However, tit-for-tat is analogoys to treating others as they treat you, NOT treating others how you want to be treated. You can dance around the argument all you want, but proposing the golden rule in the context of inter-gender dynamics is indefensible.

    [–]1Kolbath[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Tit-for-tat strategy in games is sound. However, tit-for-tat is analogoys to treating others as they treat you, NOT treating others how you want to be treated.

    Once again, you clearly did not read the post. You open by treating people as you want them to treat you. If they reciprocate, you continue to treat them with respect. If they do not, you meet like with like. It is a strategy that has proven sound in multiple social dynamics.

    You can dance around the argument all you want, but proposing the golden rule in the context of inter-gender dynamics is indefensible.

    Obviously it is not. Someone else tried to make that same argument on Wednesday. It's been two days and it has not one single vote in support. So... I'm gonna go ahead and say that this fits just fine and you are attempting to split semantical hairs.

    And I'm fine with that. Take whatever you like and use it. Just don't try to convince someone new to TRP that this doesn't align or doesn't work when even moderators and endorsed contributors have given it their seal of approval.