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Red Pill TheoryHow to get abundance: stop focusing on women (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by lifeisweirdasfuck

TLDR: Have a purpose in life. Be focused on your goals, not women. This is how you achieve abundance and happiness.

Note: First post here, I don't consider myself any superior to the guys who have been posting here for a while, on the contrary, I will accept critics and different thoughts from anyone.

I initially was recollecting my thoughts and I ended up writing an entire post and decided to post it here.

Hope this will help someone out there. I'm not a native english speaker so there could be some grammar mistake.

What is abundance?

Some say it is the state of mind you have when you have 5 plates ready to fuck you, but what I really believe is that abundance comes from an inner state.

Saying that abundance comes from fucking women is like saying that your happiness is dependent on an external source (aka women). I don't think that's a great approach in the long term.

Let's delete women from the equation for a second to define this theory in a different manner:

Let's say you can't meet women for some reason. Do you think you will still be happy? No, you won't, because your happiness was so far dependent on an external source. When this external source fades away, your mind doesn't know where to get dopamine & serotonine from.

So eventually, by not having women to fuck, the average guy would jerk off to receive those hormonal spikes. Can you see? He always relies on an external source.

Abundance comes from the depth of your mind. It comes from acceptance of what you don't have control over, and focus on what you instead can control.

You don't have women? Well, cut them off your mind. Try not to rely on external sources (e.g masturbation/porn) for a few days. You will notice the desire to fuck will grow exponentially.

Sexual desire is one of the strongest desires a man possess.

Desire can be transmuted into action and motivation to succeed in life. Can you see what I'm trying to say?

You can use this desire to focus on YOURSELF, on your GOALS, not on fucking women.

You want women? Stop whining and use that strong desire to put yourself into action to increase your sexual market value. But don't do that with the thought of getting laid one day, but with the thought of becoming a succesful person. In other words, do it for yourself, not for women.

Lift, study, start creating value. Value is created by action*, not by thinking* or reading 100 posts on TRP everyfuckingday.

Once you've read the sidebar and the main 20-30 posts you know everything you need to know about female nature.

If you have goals and ambitions and you are working towards them, I can guarantee you that you can feel abundance even if you are not fucking women.

If women are your priority, you are doing it wrong. Your thoughts and emotions must be fixated on your life purpose (e.g becoming a millionaire before 30-40-50, whatever the age you want).

For so long getting laid was my mission, and I was depressed every single day. I had no goals, no real purpose, apart that of getting laid. Reading TRP posts negatively contributed to this, because all they were doing was bringing women in my thoughts!

So I decided to frame my life in a different way. Instead of aiming for women, I started aiming at goals that would had brought me women as a side-effect. I used the desire of getting laid to put myself into action and start working towards those goals. All of a sudden, my goal wasn't getting women, instead it was becoming a wealthy succesful guy.

- Abundance is when you have your future planned and you are taking persistent action towards your goals.

- Abundance is when you know your value is higher than any of the bitches out there:

Most women are not succesfull, have no goals or ambitions. Why? Because their only life purpose is finding a sexual partner (a man who can protect and lead them). That's their purpose, not ours!!

Understand that women have very little to offer. You are the one who brings real value. You are the one who works his ass of to climb the social hierarchy. Women are born, men are made. Women need men more than men need women.

- Abundance is when you accept that you currently don't have women, but will have in the future by focusing on yourself and increasing your SMV.

We keep saying that women like succesful guys who have a purpose and who don't give a fuck about women. That's right, yet I keep seeing the majority of the posts about women and how to get laid. Everyday TRP has new posts about how to fuck women, and more and more new theories. Some posts really look like they are coming from PUA forums in my opinion. This is extremely detrimental. You can't internalise all this information anyway, on the contrary it can only make your mindset worse. Your brain becomes fucking flooded by these info. This won't bring abundance, but scarcity.

Read the sidebar and the top posts here and you know how to succeed. Then go out and become the person you always wanted to be.


[–]1atticusfinch1973 143 points144 points  (11 children)

Success and happiness usually bring money, and fun.

Money and fun attract women.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 50 points51 points  (5 children)

Yes! It’s like this: set goals -> reach goals -> success (wether money/status/physical appearance) -> women. It’s really the only way, you cannot fake the process.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Oh yeah it's like this? Oh do you know this exactly? Have you followed through this process and it worked?

[–]sexysalsaman 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I think what he is saying is similar to what we've heard in older trp posts, that woman are a "lagging indicator of your success." What do you think?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 14 points15 points  (2 children)

TRP also says that women are attracted to dark triad traits, or that asshole game is effective. How does that fit with what TRP is trying to say?

What OP is saying is a common idea among newbies ridden with approach anxiety and little sexual success: that you can use a select set of TRP ideas to justify why you should not approach women and not feel bad about not getting laid. It goes like this "TRP says women are attracted to success therefore I don't need game or lifting at all, I just need success and they'll fall in my lap. Actually I should not go out or talk to any woman, because this way I can have more time to work towards success".

Any post that says "Get successful. Bitches like success." is right on the money. Any post that say "We talk to much about getting laid. Stop thinking about women. Get successful. Bitches like success. But be successful not for bitches." is only demonstrating that the poster is riddled with anxiety about women and trying to find a way to hide it. That cannot end well.

[–]odaklanan_insan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Self development and transforming into the man you are "born to be" is crucial for the ultimate happiness and inner peace.

However, this has only a little to do with TRP principles. TRP is about recognizing the true nature of women and developing a sexual strategy towards them. OP is mistaking TRP with achieving your nirvana.

You can be a cashier at starbucks and still fuck a millionaire's wife.

I personally aim to achieve both, but also acknowledge that success in your life and career doesn't guarantee sexual success.

There are many successful businessmen and genious engineers/scientists etc who are total loosers when it comes to women.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Money and fun attract women

Money = beta bucks. It's a terrible way to attract women.

[–]1atticusfinch1973 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's a terrible way to game women, not attract them. Those are two separate things. You can have lots of money and not be a beta bucks.

[–]BloodColdRed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you're rich how do you know if your girl sees you as beta bucks even if you think you're acting alpha?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not paying a fucking thing for her helps

[–]Shaney96 90 points91 points  (22 children)

Thanks for this post. I recently posted in AskTRP because I am experiencing pretty much what you described you once suffered. This post has helped me understand how to resolve my problem: Get a fucking mission.

Developing a mission is going to take some trial and error I reckon, but at least that's action-taking.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

I’m glad you appreciated it! Find your mission man, I know it’s easier said than done. Do like you said, try and fail.

Remember that you start liking hobbies only when you start succeeding in them, when you start seeing results.

Before that, you need to develop discipline in order not to give up.

The average guy: goes to the gym for 1 month and sees no result. He decides to quit.

Successful guy: goes to the gym for 1 month and sees no result. He understands the process is long and accepts temporary failure as part of the journey. Eventually he makes sure his diet and lifting sessions are done properly.

[–]Vexarus 7 points8 points  (1 child)

After my breakup more than a year ago, I feel like I have had this everlasting search to find a replacement. A need to fill that so-called hole in my heart. A need to be complacent with my life again. I always measured success by if I was in a relationship or not.

Thank you for your post. It really spoke confidence into me to focus more on myself in other aspects of life, and not just the dating part. I have been putting off going to the gym for months now, and your post got me thinking about focusing on lifting again. To become a physically strong guy with mental purpose in life.

[–]sexysalsaman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going to the gym is one those transformative habits that affect all aspects of your life. Stay strong brother and keep persistence.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 17 points18 points  (18 children)

It's funny because three days ago, I answered a post on asktrp from a guy who said he had adopted the "TRP idea" of "focusing on the mission" and "build it and they will come" and two years later he was on a great track with his mission, but still sexless and fucking miserable so now he was coming back to asktrp to ask why it didn't work.

The sentiment in OP's post looks awesome on paper but the reality is that as a man, you need to get laid to feel worthy. I know it sucks, but this is the firmware installed by Nature in your brain. You can fight it if you want, but it will fight back by making you suffer for not being sexually successful in an attempt to tell you that your genetic lineage is on track to oblivion.

So if you focus so much on building value that it gets you laid, then good on you. But let me tell you right now that if you decide to "not give a fuck about women" to the point where you end up not fucking women at all, I can ensure you that your suffering will get worse.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 7 points8 points  (7 children)

I completely agree with your points.

The main topic about my post is trying to live a period without women.

I’m not saying to go full MGTOW until you die, that’s obviously pure bullshit.

I see what you are trying to say: yes, game matters a lot. And you’ll learn game only by going out and practicing.

But what’s really important to a man is to be financially independent and healthy in the first place. Do you think the homeless people down the road give a fuck about getting laid? Sexual desire is a need, but there are even stronger physiological needs to survive (hunger for example).

Are you telling me that male celebrities don’t have women drooling over them? Come on man. Any girl would drop their bf to fuck a fucking vip (unless the celebrity is autistic).That’s hypergamy’s basics.

That’s why encourage people to increase their value foremost, because that’s what matters in the LONG RUN.

If you only care about women, yeah you can fuck them just by learning game. But I believe it’s more of a PUA thinking than TRP and it will not bring long term satisfaction.

Edit: let me add, the fact that “you need to fuck to feel worthy” is a social construct of the BluePill world. It is slightly connected to evolution (“the man who fucked more women was the alpha”) but honestly in the modern society it’s more a shaming tactic than anything else. It’s all about your view on certain things that make you feel bad or good. That’s stoicism.

[–]Shaney96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm glad we both have the understanding regarding a lack of satisfaction long-term for PUA focus. I almost find PUA and the like cringy and needy, for they seem to be focused solely on picking up women and I think many men who practise PUA simply end up just as insecure and under-developed men as when they first started out. Many believe women will fill that void that was created throughout childhood, only to find, years later after hundreds of lays, that that void still persists.

Indeed, the media primarily shoves it down our throats that you need to fuck to feel worthy, and this is terribly toxic (at least it was for me pre-TRP). I think a nice balance would be to have just enough sex to subdue the primal urge, while expending the rest of your energy on self-development.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 8 points9 points  (5 children)

I completely agree with your points.

The main topic about my post is trying to live a period without women.

I’m not saying to go full MGTOW until you die, that’s obviously pure bullshit.

I see what you are trying to say: yes, game matters a lot. And you’ll learn game only by going out and practicing.

All agree so far.

But what’s really important to a man is to be financially independent and healthy in the first place.

Really? Then why are all men so hell bent on getting laid? Why is porn such an addiction? Why are men of power, financially independent and healthy ruin their careers by fucking their secretary?

Men's brains are built in order (1) to fuck women, (2) to compete with other men for status in local hierarchy because that's what women select, (3) to find ways to fuck more women, and (4) to find food, water and shelter if we have some time to spare.

Do you think the homeless people down the road give a fuck about getting laid? Sexual desire is a need, but there are even stronger physiological needs to survive (hunger for example).

Yeah? Read that.

If sex is so low on the list of priorities, why do you feel the need to post on TRP to urge people to think about it less? Why entire communities of men are trying so hard to stop masturbating? Sex is males' most powerful urge. Urges are meant to be understood and controlled, but not denied. Are you surprised hearing the news about pedophile catholic priests? I'm not. Denying your urge for sex is bound to fuck up with your brain.

Are you telling me that male celebrities don’t have women drooling over them? Come on man. Any girl would drop their bf to fuck a fucking vip (unless the celebrity is autistic).That’s hypergamy’s basics.

Then I sincerely hope you do become a male celebrity. See I am not denying girls are attracted to successful guys, but you need a tremendous amount of status to be able to get away with not having game. Unless you become world-famous, you'll still need to go talk to that girl and if you've spent the past 10 years of your life not talking to a single girl because you've convinced yourself that you should not give a fuck about girls, you're going to have a hard time maintaining a conversation in which you don't sound like a retard.

That’s why encourage people to increase their value foremost, because that’s what matters in the LONG RUN.

But why on earth would you need to stop caring about getting laid along the way??? Is getting successful so damn important you should also stop caring about eating food and sleeping at night??? What matters at any point is to be mentally healthy and denying your urges WILL fuck you up, I can guarantee you. The only reason why you're suggesting such a foolish thing is because you're AFRAID of rejection and you think you just found a clever way to avoid having to face it, and I'm here to tell you that you're setting yourself up for more suffering down the line. Work on being successful down the line, eat, sleep, and try your best to fuck girls. How complicated is that?

If you only care about women, yeah you can fuck them just by learning game. But I believe it’s more of a PUA thinking than TRP and it will not bring long term satisfaction.

You are not the first PUA-hater on this sub and you're not the last. So I'll let you in on a secret: TRP talks a lot about women... because the sub is about sexual strategy. It's a little known secret that's on the sidebar, right under the label "Welcome to the red pill". You're just one in a very long line of newbies who think TRP is some "fight club" where we get to promote some lifestyle of sorts that include meditation, and financial success, and nofap and whatnot. It's OK, you will outgrow it. At some point hopefully you will realize that TRP talks about women, not because that's the only thing important, but simply because that's the topic of the sub. Under other aliases, I talk fitness on the fitness subreddit, wealth-building under the financial independence subreddit, boxing on the boxing subreddit, and music on the listentothis subreddit. And when I want to talk about the intersexual dynamics in modern society and Game, I come on here.

Edit: let me add, the fact that “you need to fuck to feel worthy” is a social construct of the BluePill world. It is slightly connected to evolution (“the man who fucked more women was the alpha”) but honestly in the modern society it’s more a shaming tactic than anything else. It’s all about your view on certain things that make you feel bad or good. That’s stoicism.

Nope. See the link I posted above. Can't believe that a TRP member, out of everyone, would believe that "X is a social construct", and especially when talking about men's need for sex. Dude, we are wired to want sex more than we want food. How hard would it be for nature to build a mental module to tie our sense of self-worth to our sexual success in order to direct us more strongly towards sex? How hard it is for you to accept it when you see incels killing people over their lack of sex? blue pill betas killing themselves over a break up? and sexually successful men grinning that life is great thank you very much. As another EC commented in this thread: get laid as much as your body needs and you will get a true understanding of how real abundance mentality feels. And not that fake rationalized version you're trying so desperately to build in a desperate attempt to quench your so-extremely-natural thirst.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I made some mistakes and I accept that. Last time I saw Maslow’s pyramid of needs I remember seeing food>sex but I might be wrong. I clearly understand what you are saying. I’ve done this post for the average guy who knows female nature (and has experienced in first person) ENOUGH not to be scared to approach anymore. I honestly should have pointed out that in the post.

This might seem a rationalisation made to remain in the comfort zone; absolutely not what I meant to say with this post, but apparently that’s the message I displayed.

As I told in the beginning of the post, I wrote this initially for myself, and then decided to post it.

I’ve been approaching women for a while (girls over average of attractiveness) but always failed to close the deal with them. I got many chicks chasing me but they were most likely ugly and <6/10. Just not my type (I’ve been lifting since 13 and I’m now 18 so I attracted ugly chicks simply with my decent looks)

I was literally obsessioned by the IDEA of getting laid. While part of that is the sexual need you are talking about, I believe that some of it is due to the social conditioning ingrained in my brain as I have always been a nerd as a kid and always put the pussy on the pedestal (therefore exaggerating her value in my mind)

One day I was looking at myself and asked myself “Why am I bothering getting women when I need to fix my life first?”. For fixing, I mean planning my future. Making decisions and setting goals. Being on your purpose is what gives you that state of abundance MINDSET (I should have also pointed out that I was referring to the mindset and not abundance of women). When you have shit to do, you don’t even have time to think about women. Yes, your dick wants to get wet, and that’s fine, but only when you are on your purpose, otherwise you will be lost for the rest of your life.

This post served to people also to stop putting pussy on the pedestal. Women exaggerate their value and I felt the need to point it out how little they actually provide to the relationship.

Women can’t live without attentions, and when a guy is so focused on his mission that he gives no fuck about the chick who’s showing her ass on Instagram, he displays higher value, believe it or not. Betas give free attentions, alphas fuck by giving attention only when the woman deserves it. I’m getting further from the main subject, but I hope you get what I was trying to say.

[–]Tombert_Williams 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I was sent by a time machine back to your age for a do over, I would cast a much wider net. My ego then did not allow me to consider any woman whom I considered to be less than a 9 or a 10. I had a lot of "lesser" women clamoring for my attention but I thought they were beneath me. And somehow the 9 and 10's I wanted were not interested in me. As I have gained a wider perspective with experience, I realize how much opportunity I squandered. Not only could I have had some fun and gained some experience with those 5s and 6s, but also those experiences likely would have causes me to lighten up and not place so much importance on those 9s and 10s and, most likely, that would have opened up some opportunities with those 9 and 10s.

You say you have been obsessed with getting laid. If you have 6s in your life that are DTF, do it. You'll learn and make your dumbass mistakes with them, so that you know more what what you are doing when you have a chance at higher quality women. I think you will find that other vistas will open up for you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I made some mistakes and I accept that. Last time I saw Maslow’s pyramid of needs I remember seeing food>sex but I might be wrong.

Maslow pulled his pyramid out of his own ass. Don't take all pop-psychology too literally. Of course we can go longer without sex than without food and water. But as the research I sent you a link about, sex takes precedence. Again no need to take it too literally - where it comes from is that in Nature, opportunities for sex are few, so that we Males are designed to be 100% committed to it when opportunity arises. The incredible adrenaline rush you're feeling when you're closing on a girl and realize you're about to get new pussy should be enough evidence of how your brain has a range of features meant to encourage you to pursue this.

I was literally obsessioned by the IDEA of getting laid. While part of that is the sexual need you are talking about, I believe that some of it is due to the social conditioning ingrained in my brain as I have always been a nerd as a kid and always put the pussy on the pedestal (therefore exaggerating her value in my mind)

I'm quite sure that every guy on earth who is not sexually successful is obsessed by the idea of getting laid. Every young man in every human culture across the world is desperate to get laid. Actually I think that every young male of any species on earth has this one thing that direct its behavior.

So again, give yourself a break - you're not obsessed about sex because you're a bad person, but because you're a very normal one.

One day I was looking at myself and asked myself “Why am I bothering getting women when I need to fix my life first?”. For fixing, I mean planning my future. Making decisions and setting goals. Being on your purpose is what gives you that state of abundance MINDSET (I should have also pointed out that I was referring to the mindset and not abundance of women). When you have shit to do, you don’t even have time to think about women. Yes, your dick wants to get wet, and that’s fine, but only when you are on your purpose, otherwise you will be lost for the rest of your life.

Oh trust me, you WILL think about women anyway. And actually more and more as you continue being sexually unsuccessful IN SPITE of your efforts and achievements in fixing your life. As I said: trying to deny your urges will fuck you up mentally.

But you are right in a way: you are too young to have the SMV that'll help you get laid. Getting more will definitely help. But be sure that girls won't fuck you because you have goals and are meeting them. Girls who will want to fuck you because you've planned your financial future well and became a surgeon who invested in real estate will not be fucking you for the reasons you hope. In your decision making and goal setting, do incorporate "become a leader of men" and "learn to talk to women".

This post served to people also to stop putting pussy on the pedestal. Women exaggerate their value and I felt the need to point it out how little they actually provide to the relationship.

Women can’t live without attentions, and when a guy is so focused on his mission that he gives no fuck about the chick who’s showing her ass on Instagram, he displays higher value, believe it or not. Betas give free attentions, alphas fuck by giving attention only when the woman deserves it. I’m getting further from the main subject, but I hope you get what I was trying to say.

A guy who is "so focused on his mission that he gives no fuck about the chick who’s showing her ass on Instagram" is not displaying higher value. He's displaying... nothing since she doesn't know he even exist. Again I am not telling you to "obsess about sex", I'm telling you to not deny it. I am not telling you to give women free attention, I am telling your to learn game. I am not telling you to put pussy on the pedestal, I am telling you that getting laid is necessary for your mental well-being. And I am not caring in any way whether women overestimate their SMV, bring something to a relationship, or like to show their ass on instragram. That post was about men and our need for sex.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m upvoting all your comments here because I agree with what you are saying, even though as long as people here are improving themselves and raising their SMV I don’t see what’s wrong. It’s something they will have to do now or later in life if they want to be successful (and I believe anyone who is decently RedPilled must have ambitions in life).

Yes, they will have to learn game if they want women. That’s obvious. But as I said previously there’s no point in going out approaching women when you are 120lbs, with acne, no purpose in life, shit style and so on. Yes, he can go out and experience what getting rejected feels like. That’s actually a step EVERYONE must take in the beginning in order to succeed with women later in life. That’s what makes you less and less emotionally invested in the outcome of the interaction.

I know men are for breeding as many women as possible and women are for reproduction. That’s their main purpose. I got what you are saying.

If there’s one thing guys should do is to increase their status and build social circles. That’s actually what increases your SMV. Unfortunately I live in a small city and that fucks up even more my chances.

Yes, the SMV for a 18 year old kid like me is quite low compared to the guys in their 30’s, there’s no doubt. I’ve been attracting only uglies and some girls in the age range of 13-15 so far. Younger girls like older (and therefore more masculine) guys, everyone knows that.

And ignoring attractive girls (who know me via social circles) has done more to me than actually chasing them. It’s a game of balance (push and pull, give attentions, remove attentions). That happens only when you lift and have decent game (and most importantly body language). Girls want what they can’t have, again, nothing new for the average redpill guy.

And yes, getting laid is necessary for mental well-being, I completely agree with that. But let me repeat that the point of my post wasn’t to become a MGTOW for the rest of your life.

[–]Zech4riah -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this comment. Now I don't have to make myself clear to the OP.

[–]zopp3s 2 points3 points  (5 children)

so how to do that?

I mean I'm 20, pretty good looking with aesthetic body, I do have money.. But still I am not getting laid. I mean, how can I focus on other stuff than women, when I do not have sex regularly? In fact it's very rare for me to have sex, and subconsciously, maybe I feel little anxious about it, especially when I compare it to my friends who have gf's and they are all happy. In fact I am getting jealous of my bf's relationship even though I've never experienced feelings of jealousy or anything similar..

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you're pointing at are the two main flaws in OP's post.

First, men are not monks. Your entire brain is built with one purpose: fuck women. Denying our nature can only lead to neurosis. Once you get laid, your brain let you off the leash a little bit. Trying to "not give a fuck about women" is complete fool's errand. Particularly for guys in their 20's when hormones are raging.

Second, what is that "success" that makes girls fall in your lap without you even having to try? Game and Status are what you need to complete your value. On game: approach girls, pass shit tests, maintain interesting convo, know when to escalate, be bold. On status: get social, lead others, be respected by men, organize events, etc.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

What I didn’t say in the post, is that once your life in on point you should start gaming women, but with a RedPill mindset. That means: 1. Not putting them on pedestal, 2. Do not spend a single penny on them, 3. Try and fail. Otherwise you are just going to play beta bucks game, and I do not encourage it at all

[–]theherosmyth 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I fail to see how allowing yourself to pursue women only after you’ve reached what is in your mind a sufficient level of success, is not putting them on a pedestal.

Start now. Even if you’re fat. Even if you’re poor. Who cares if you don’t live up to your ideal. Who cares if you don’t live up to their ideal. We don’t put them on a pedestal, right?

If you only start gaming after you’ve become some greek God that is your status quo as far as women interacting with you goes. I actually think it’s pretty cool to see how you and women’s responses to you change as you progress. And you’ll learn some game in the interim. You’ll develop thick skin and it’ll get easier over time.

The mindset with which you pursue women is what matters, in my mind. (Some) people here can caricature all PUA’s as sex hungry losers who are empty without the validation of a woman all they want, but there are plenty out there who see it as just another aspect of life to handle.

[–]22Luika 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something clicked in my brain after reading this.

I was putting off some goals until being "better". You made me realize that im wasting fucking time and harming my potencial progress in the process. Fuck. This is why i keep coming here. To have thruth spit in my fucking face. Thanks.

[–]Shaney96 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I have little experience, but from what I have I can say that I feel less joyous and successful now than 18 months ago when I was in a relationship. Back then the relationship was healthy and I felt completely in control. Now, however, although I've progressed in other facets of life, I simply feel a pressure each and every day to get laid.

One realization I had yesterday was to just choose a mission. So long have I been frustrated for not having a proper life mission, that I believe it's probably best to just choose something I can build (a website, for example), and just use that as my 'temporary mission'. I feel doing this will at least reduce my frustrations regarding 'not having a mission' and less headspace will be occupied by women, and lack thereof.

It's strange really: It's almost quite needy, thinking about it. Although I've done this travelling and developed my body and whatever, my mind isn't totally satisfied since I seem to feel almost entitled/expectant of having women as 'tangible proof' of my growth.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 2 points3 points  (2 children)

My reading of evo psych and TRP, and reflecting upon my own life as well as those I see around me have all brought me to the inescapable conclusion that men's brains are designed for sex, and that lack of sex will impact negatively on your well-being. Think of it. We need water to survive. Go without water for a while and what does your body does? You get thirsty. It's your body's way of telling you "dude. There's emergency here." It's an alarm going off. There is no reason why evolution wouldn't have resulted in a similar alarm in case of lack of sexual success, which is just as important as water for your genes' ultimate goal.

I would totally interpret your higher sense of joy 18 months ago to the fact that you got sex on a more regular basis than your are now.

That being said, I also believe men need a direction to be mentally healthy. But I seriously doubt that you can quench your thirst for sex by feeding yourself some more direction, exactly as eating more food won't make you less thirsty for water.

A lot of newbies like OP and commenters on this thread have to pull their head out of their ass and realize that it is absolutely natural for men to want sex, and that you can very obviously expect your male brain to get focused on it, especially when hormones peaking. Sure you may want to control that urge and direct it towards productive endeavours, as you're doing, but denying the importance of fulfilling that urge for one's mental wellbeing is foolish.

[–]Shaney96 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I was going to mentioned incels even more proof, but you mentioned those lot in your response to OP. From your response, I guess a model for most newbies (myself along with most on this sub) would be to focus on practising game until you're able to get your primal, biological imperative's need met (sex), and expend your other energy on shit like the gym, studying, your mission, etc..

So once my innate need for sex is met, I imagine I'll stop feeling that persisting underlying sense of anxiety. And I believe this anxiety is simply my hind animal mind telling me I should be getting some pussy. Thoughts?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So once my innate need for sex is met, I imagine I'll stop feeling that persisting underlying sense of anxiety. And I believe this anxiety is simply my hind animal mind telling me I should be getting some pussy. Thoughts?

Anxiety can come from a range of things, but if you are sexually unsuccessful, I'm ready to bet it comes from here yes. Yes you may want to get that hitch scratched so you can give your brain a break. Some people here may even recommend you go see a hooker to get your thirst quenched if it's become so bad you can't function normally. It's a bit extreme and doesn't trick your brain really well, so not recommending it as a solution.

What you want to do is focus on all these things at once. When we tell people to lift, we don't tell them to lift 24h a day, 7 days a week. Same goes with Game - you don't have to make it the only activity in your life. Read a book on Game, and then go out and apply when you have the time. You have enough time in a week to be able to improve yourself in several ways - and Game should be one of them.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Guys interested in this topic will also benefit from:

Abundance Mentality - Why It's Good For You.

-If You Really Want To Know, Go And Build It.

[–]Edgar_c619 66 points67 points  (4 children)

100% Agree.

Abundance and Happiness come from within. I’ve visited countries where the people are very poor and have very little in material terms but are some of the happiest I have seen.

Yet I see many people in America complain about the most insignificant things like how their coffee wasn’t prepared correctly... if you can afford a $5 starbucks coffee, you are already entitled. That puts you in the top 5% of the world.

My point with all this is that many guys here are worried about not being able to get women or want to know the secret. The secret is, who gives a shit.... i used to desire female validation so much but now I am 22yo, redpilled, and it doesn’t matter whether I have females or not. Keep in mind this is coming from a physically fit guy who is on his way to start his own business with a diversified investment portfolio... so I don’t just say it because I’m some incel who can’t get a woman.

Your emotions should be stable and your logic should ALWAYS make decisions. This means that whether you have the hottest girlfriend in the world or are single for 20years, your frame should not change.

Find happiness from within and do not be impacted by external sources, not for happiness or sadness.

Great Post OP

[–]PhasmaFrank 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Perspective makes or breaks you.

I totally agree with, you cant depend on external sources forever. Hapiness is a choice

[–]Zech4riah 5 points6 points  (2 children)

now I am 22yo, redpilled, and it doesn’t matter whether I have females or not.

Did you get yourself castrated as well? Because you either have no libido or desire for female intimacy or you are hamstering and trying to fiend an excuse for the fact that you are not abundant with women.

This post "makes sense" only for the guys who have no abundance with women and have never been there.

[–]Edgar_c619 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Read....

“Keep in mind this is coming from a physically fit guy who is on his way to start his own business with a diversified investment portfolio... so I don’t just say it because I’m some incel who can’t get a woman. “

So to answer your question... I very much have healthy libido and get constant sex. However that’s not the point. The point is that I am fine whether I have it or not. Does it feel good for most guys when they have constant sex? Yes it does, but that is the part to detach from. You shouldn’t NEED sex. From what you’re saying I can safely assume you attain happiness from external sources. I do not care how you attain happiness, i’m just simply stating how I think it should be.

There’s always some guys online who like to question other guys’ mentalities or lifestyles. I can understand why(many people play a fake life online) but I believe in what I say and do therefore never back down from someone challenging who I am. This post makes sense for any man who does not rely only on external sources for happiness.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 152 points153 points  (19 children)

You get abundance mentality by actually having abundance.

It is very worthwhile for a young man to focus EXCLUSIVELY on getting women. Doing whatever it takes to get an abundance of women. When you have that, and know how to keep it, then you're free to get on with the rest of your life.

You don't get abundance mentality by ignoring women and being awesome at playing video games, being great at socialising, or even being a great doctor.

You get abundance mentality by cultivating attractive features and ruthlessly going after what you want until you have it.

[–]DeBrawnMD 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Absolutely best comment.

To expand on this: think of all the successful guys who suck at abundance mentality with women.

Rich guys who are treated like beta bux

Actors who are divorce raped

Industrial titans divorce raped

Abundance mentality only comes with actual abundance in that resource, whether it be money, social cred, or women. Having abundance in a speicif arena doesnt give you the mentality in another.

My advice: Focus on your mission, and game on the side. In the long term, being successful in your mission will place you in the vicinity of higher SMV women. Gaming on the side will get you women and experience as you progress in your mission. Ignoring one or the other limits your potential.

Good luck.

[–]trees_away 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeppp. If I waited until I had 10% body fat and a rock star I’d have missed out on the confidence and game that I learned while still in the process. You can do both. You can be going after your mission big time and still have time to game women. I’ve been working on my debut EP for the past 9 months while still meeting and fucking lots of women. While improving my fitness, losing weight, lifting, etc. I’m the fucking man now and i haven’t even arrived yet. I just believe in myself because I’ve seen change happening and know that a long as I keep going and don’t stop I’ll get there.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 21 points22 points  (7 children)

Your points are correct. Even though I believe a young man can choose one of two paths.

The first is: focus on himself (monk mode) until he reaches a great amount of success in his life. I mostly refer to financial independence and physical health. Thus he spends most of his time studying, lifting and improving himself, while actually temporary deleting women from his life (Sounds like MGTOW, if I have to be honest).

The second is: have fun and going out almost every night approaching women. This in my opinion results in a great expenditure of money and mental/emotional energy (often from drama women create) and you will struggle with focusing 100% on your goals.

Most of the guys who choose the second path end up poor, in a LTR, with no goals and ambitions and lost in life. Many of them are even recurring to drugs and alcohol to “feel better” when their girl will dump them because they found a guy with higher value.

You can of course do both, and if you can, you have my respect. (That’s actually the point of being RedPilled). I’m currently 18 and honestly prefer following the first option. Still in HS and going to University next year. I plan on focusing entirely on myself this year and next year, when my value will be slightly higher, I will start gaming women in my free time. I’ve been approaching women for 3 years and always failed. “Women are a lagging indicator of success”: this is what pushed me to improve myself. I realised my value wasn’t high enough.

You can go out every night but from my experience you are going nowhere if you are not valuable enough.

[–]br0kencircuit 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is correct. It’s a balance. You have to go heads down sometimes and just invest in yourself. I’ve done that mostly for two years now and the confidence it’s created has produced far more women in my life recently (was super fat, dorky, etc and have slimmed down significantly and developed a bit of swagger). There’s something to be said for having the patience and discipline to sideline yourself while you get your shit together. Yes, game if/when you want and always be practicing in different social dynamics but you can waste a lot of time pandering to women and their nonsense. Time spent on yourself is never, ever a waste.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not a fan of monk mode, it looks a lot like avoidance of the basic problem: fear of women and their impact on him.

Most of the guys who choose the second path end up poor, in a LTR, with no goals and ambitions and lost in life

Depends on their motives for doing it. That happens to a lot of men who do that because that's all they do and that's all they want.

I’m currently 18 and honestly prefer following the first option.

Try and get some experience of women. Money is a major trap and a major problem if you get it before you get abundance. Looks-maxing makes more sense as regards women. Money is for you.

. I’ve been approaching women for 3 years and always failed. “Women are a lagging indicator of success”: this is what pushed me to improve myself. I realised my value wasn’t high enough.

Good realisation... but don't stop trying.

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          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Agreed. OP is still thinking women are attracted to success. Not true . This is a great comment

          [–]Quaternionz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          My thoughts exactly. This post is shitty advice. If you want abundance then lift, dress better, and go practice your game as often as possible. I do math, physics, and software engineering. I have life goals in those fields, and money goals. But I didn't get my plates by sitting home and solving a math problem or working on a business. I got them by spending a year lifting, dressing better, and doing nothing but going out every weekend.

          [–]s110chassis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I think from my point of view that you mixed up things. If you invest all your energy in attracting your desired sex, you will not have enough energy to invest in yourself. "Don't put all the eggs in a basket". I strongly recommend to have multiple incomes for abundance. In case that one or two of them fail to succeed, you have other incomes. Your last paragraph is part of what I'm trying to mean. Have a life. Get abundance in all your aspects. Physical, mental and social.

          [–]frmisunderstood 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          The bitchies only value a men who are not chasing their asses, so his technique is right .

          [–]volvostupidshit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Yes but if you can't even show your value because you are always at home or at work then you won't have a chance.

          [–]simplisticallysimple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It is very worthwhile for a young man to focus EXCLUSIVELY on getting women. Doing whatever it takes to get an abundance of women. When you have that, and know how to keep it, then you're free to get on with the rest of your life.

          Absolutely. Dedicate a few years to upping your n-count as much as possible. Learn the ins and outs, put yourself out there relentlessly, make tons of mistakes, and try to fuck as much as possible. You'll be on a learning curve steeper than you would ever imagine.

          Abundance mentality comes from abundance reality. Period. Nothing less.

          [–]GoyDeVivre -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          Here to tell you how great it feels to be able to go in my phone and text a multitude of plates, hoes and prospects at any time despite knowing how much time I wasted at bars, party and just women in general... and I'm in a ltr atm. Not all of the women are hot either, but just having that ability along with a strong body and a slight inclination to greater wisdom/knowledge/wit really goes a long fuckin way. I can tell you this: money/success does not attract women in the right way unless you have most of the other things you already know about. That includes height and things like big dick size we can't control. The best advice I can give is to just talk to people whenever you can. Get em to laugh, get em to really think or feel, get girls to cum with you, it's your call. Just have fun with them, buckle down on yourself and don't take it all so seriously.

          [–]evolveorwither 49 points50 points  (2 children)

          This is pretty good advice and I'm in the boat you're talking about pretty much. I don't have a ton of women and have never been naturally some magician with women, so it's not always as helpful to read the stories of guys who already have a ton of women talk about some theory they have. I think being able to control yourself from going out and getting validation or release from having sex or from masturbating is a great ability and for me, I think until I can do that, I shouldn't really be actively going after women.

          [–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          Exactly. Until you aren’t happy by staying with yourself and only yourself, you can’t be happy with women. As I said, try new things out. Find a hobby, this is repeated a lot here on TRP but only a few take the advice. There should be something you have always wanted to do. You can’t believe how many things there are in the world to get educated about. Just remember not to be defeated by temporary failure. Failure is part of the process, in any field of life.

          [–]redbananaboard 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          I agree with OP 100% when you stop chasing women and focusing on being the best version of yourself the challenge is to keep woman away because they'll be the ones chasing you. I do enjoy occasional "game" night outs with friends but is not the my main goal.

          [–]practicepricipleprep 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          Like the YouTube channel "Alpha Male Strategies" famously says: "Get on your purpose!"

          [–]frmisunderstood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          My dude right here, i think he will open the guys eyes and take this shit back to us

          [–]TheRealShafron 19 points20 points  (1 child)

          I completely agree with this advice. I've been focusing on myself for the past two months and even deleted Tinder to stop distracting me from my goals and I keep receiving compliments from plates on how I always seem to have a purpose. Just last night a new plate of mine that I barely talked to and have known for less than a day told me, "You are unique and you embrace it. You have a mind of your own, and I feel like if I said no to you I wouldn't get a second glance. Whereas, to be candid, most of time I can reject guys and they still try."

          Just as someone said recently in an older post this week, if you work towards your goal, women will come along your way.

          [–]Zech4riah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Drop your plates, go into monk mode and see how many girls fall in to your lap automagically.

          If you already have abudance of girls, it's all different story. If you have no girls, they won't suddenly start falling into your lap if you just focus on your missing day and (saturday) night unless you are pro athlete or something similar.

          [–]NormalAndy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Successful fishing is not about the fish. It's about keeping your tackle in good order and making sure the hook is well baited.

          It helps to know where the fish are of course yet often without seeing, you simply cast out the line and wait patiently.

          Don't scare them-you have to let them come to you.

          And never strike until they're already sniffing around your worm- or even better when they alread have their lips around it.

          [–]largepaycheckaddict 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I disagree slightly with this post.

          In my younger days in highschool I was very blue pill. But I also had girls begging for my attention. They weren’t the hotties on the cheerleading squad but they were cute and good for a poke.

          Problem is I had no idea how to proceed and make a move. I was always worried whether she’d like me or not despite being a pretty industrious top performing dude (started a metal band that started touring and releasing albums on an indie label right out of high school). I had a huge anxiety toward women and gaining their approval which would ultimately sink my smv and lead to a depleted interest.

          I think it’s good for guys to get red pilled and learn what buttons to push to get her intrigued in you. I think of it more akin to taking a public speaking class to be better at addressing crowds versus some manipulation/Machiavellian perspective.

          On that note, I also agree with the post because being a man with a mission is also important. Despite being blue pill I still got women just by virtue of being in a band, albeit most of them were low quality and not girlfriend material. I had status in my scene, has a new girl to fool around with every couple weeks it seemed. However I still had that blue pill yearning for their approval.

          [–]itzReborn 8 points9 points  (5 children)

          This a great post. I started no fap about 2 weeks ago, and for the last 5 days I just been thinking of sex and how to potentially get laid (keep in mind I’m also still a Virgin and also in college so it feels like everyone is getting pussy but me) I’m still trying to use this extra energy in a different way

          [–]Jabbermouth 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          Hey fellow college aged TRPer here. Lost my virginity the first week of school after going monk mode for 3 months (all summer). I know this will sound crazy but losing your virginity is not all it is cracked up to be. I was still the exact same dude after I busted that fateful first nut. I had placed losing my virginity on such a high pedestal that it couldn’t possibly live up to the hype.

          My advice to you would be to focus on school but also make an effort (any effort is good, literally just try) to get girls. And trust me there are plenty of guys not getting any pussy at your college.

          [–]itzReborn 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          Hey thanks for the advice. It’s just losing my virginity is all I think about now (since I’m a nofap streak) and my urges are really getting the best of me. Now I won’t lie I have not been making an effort but it’s also cause I have high standards and want to do it with someone insanely attractive

          [–]Jabbermouth 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          If NoFap is working for you then great, but I personally think it’s not a great idea. Porn is the real culprit. There is nothing wrong with fapping once a week (twice max), without porn, to get rid of your urges.

          My friends try to tell me all the time that I have too high standards. No one wants to fuck someone they’re not attracted to. Keep your high standards with you and don’t change them. Eventually you’ll be fucking the 9s and 10s if you continue to improve your SMV.

          [–]itzReborn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Yeah apparently doing 90 days helps reboot your brain on porn and stuff so that’s what I’m trying to do. And hopefully one day I’ll just get the courage and confidence to talk to 9s-10s like it’s nothing one day

          [–]Jabbermouth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You’ll get there brother. We’re all gonna make it.

          [–]pillkill 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          i'm in a dilemma because of this. I sometimes use this to talk myself out of approaches and dates and other things. I'm aiming to find a balance: to approach without the reluctance of "I don't need your pussy, I'm happy on my own" to "I have my degree to complete, part time to manage and a blog to start. Your pussy can become a latter priority". Any thoughts will be helpful. I hate going cold turkey like MGTOW and hot and heavy like the PUAs. If I had to pick from one of these I'd go by the PUA method. I want to appreciate women for their pussy and themselves and at the same time keep myself and my goals the priorities. My struggle is finding the middle grounds.

          [–]theherosmyth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I think you’re right to want to find a balance. I don’t like posts like these, encouraging guys to forget about women for a while to increase one’s SMV until it’s sufficient. As much as this sub preaches not putting women on a pedestal, in not interacting with women for the purpose of setting out to become this awesome guy with high SMV who makes all the panties moist, you’re doing exactly that.

          You can approach, even if you’re not “worthy” by whatever standards you measure yourself with. Who cares? Obviously having a higher SMV helps. But even if your circumstances are such that you get rejected more, good. It doesn’t matter, as long as you can frame it as a way to learn to deal with rejection. And as time progresses, you watch women’s response to you change as you become higher SMV, so you can appreciate your effort even more.

          Working on yourself and interacting with women aren’t mutually exclusive. However you want to divide your attention among those is up to you. Just don’t use not being where you want to be in life as an excuse to run away from interacting with women (even if you’ve convinced yourself that that’s not what you’re doing). You can limit it to one approach a week for all I care, while you work on yourself. Are you really that busy that doing one approach a week is too time consuming? I find it hard to believe.

          [–]Zech4riah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I'm sort of worried about this post because it got so many points and most of the content is detached from the reality. This is what happens when the TRP goes from practise and reality to the philosophical side of the fence.

          First of all most guys here don't have abundant mentality naturally. And they won't get it before they become somewhat successful with women. Most of the guys must experience the abundance of women to realize that pussy is just pussy to really understand/internalize why to focus on the bigger picture if they want long term happiness.

           

          Sexual desire is one of the strongest desires a man possess. Desire can be transmuted into action and motivation to succeed in life. Can you see what I'm trying to say?

          This isn't exactly true if you speak about sexual desire. When I'm horny, I can't fucking concentrate in my mission. This is my experience but I assume many guys share this "problem"

           

          For so long getting laid was my mission, and I was depressed every single day. I had no goals, no real purpose, apart that of getting laid. Reading TRP posts negatively contributed to this, because all they were doing was bringing women in my thoughts!

          So I decided to frame my life in a different way. Instead of aiming for women, I started aiming at goals that would had brought me women as a side-effect. I used the desire of getting laid to put myself into action and start working towards those goals. All of a sudden, my goal wasn't getting women, instead it was becoming a wealthy succesful guy.

          Exactly, this is what I mean. You have to reach abundance with women to realize that there is more. For some reason you have no ability self-reflect deep enough and type a post from this context

           

          So if you are a typical TRP guy with no true passion and desires. Get abundant or atleast experienced with women to understand and realize that there is more (a mission) to focus on.

           

          • Abundance is when you have your future planned and you are taking persistent action towards your goals.

          Abudance generally yeah, but not with girls

           

          • Abundance is when you know your value is higher than any of the bitches out there

          Not really, that's only self confidence. If you have no true value or you can't convey value to the girls. You don't have abundance with girls atleast.

           

          • Abundance is when you accept that you currently don't have women, but will have in the future by focusing on yourself and increasing your SMV.

          Nope, that's only abundant mentality. Not real abundance.

           

          We keep saying that women like succesful guys who have a purpose and who don't give a fuck about women. That's right, yet I keep seeing the majority of the posts about women and how to get laid. Everyday TRP has new posts about how to fuck women, and more and more new theories. Some posts really look like they are coming from PUA forums in my opinion. This is extremely detrimental. You can't internalise all this information anyway, on the contrary it can only make your mindset worse. Your brain becomes fucking flooded by these info. This won't bring abundance, but scarcity.

          Read the sidebar and the top posts here and you know how to succeed. Then go out and become the person you always wanted to be.

          TRP is about sexual strategy so there should be posts about getting good with women. Ironically enough, you label PUA shit and posts about women bad and then you suggest to read sidebar which is filled with the same information (how to get good with women and get the perceive you as a a high value man by improving your frame and behaviour if you are not "high value enough" yet "naturally").

          • True Abundance >> Abundant Mindset

          [–]2littleblacktruck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          No. No. NO. Abundance is having many sexual options. Those who have many will have more. Those with less will have none. Having abundance mentality is a "fake it till ya make it" strategy. All this stuff you went on about helps get there, but is not necesary. Even an ex-con living on your cousins couch can have an abundance of pussy. Having an abundant life and an abundance of pussy are two separate things. When we talk about "abundance mentality", we are talking about having pussy options.

          [–]WeebFromTurkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          To get this mindset better . Search up " Alpha Male Strategeies - AMS " on YouTube. This guy is honest and goes straight into the point.

          [–]MilkMoney111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Good thing I saw this when browsing the front page. I had to take a break from TRP because it was depressing me.

          I do all the things, HAVE been doing all the things to add value. Got fit enough to compete in a physique show, focused on studies to get in to grad school, made effort on my appearance that I’ve been approached by modeling agents... you’d think I’d be swimming in pussy. I wasn’t. I have only managed to have sex with three women this last year. I read posts about guys banging that many in one weekend. I got frustrated because I’m supposed to be set for an abundance of pussy being thrown at me. That’s not the case.

          Then I realized I care too much. I’m still putting pussy on a pedestal. I’m letting sex dictate my happiness. I’m letting women rule my life. I haven’t internalized anything. In fact the only time I was spinning plates (a mere two), was when I wasn’t worried about them. I was on diet for my bodybuilding show and was focused only on me, my workout, and my diet. The women just kinda came along briefly.

          It’s when you stop caring. It’s when you do things for yourself and not on some potential to get women.

          [–]strikethrough123 5 points6 points  (3 children)

          Abundance can't be achieved when one hasn't experienced multiple women. Telling some fresh incel "Yeah bro it's all about abundance" is useless. He's never experienced abundance, he doesn't know what it's like. Sure, he can pretend he's getting women in droves, but if he doesn't talk the talk and walk the walk, it'll be detrimental.

          True abundance is not giving a fuck about whether she rejects you, flakes on you, cheats on you, etc.. Why? Because you have multiple women better than her that you can fuck at a moment's notice and/or you can find a better woman to fuck at a moment's notice. Again, you can pretend you don't give a fuck, but at that point you're just fooling yourself.

          FR's from field-tested theories from people here are the most useful thing to newbies, why? Because they highlight the theories in action, and show that they work. So if you've recently discovered TRP, get your ass out there and test this shit out.

          [–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          You are right. There’s a really fine line between being an Incel and actually being a MGTOW.

          Incel is involuntary celibacy, what it means is that your overall value is too low to pass your genes to next generations. This could be caused by weak social skills, bad genetics, low status and financial unsuccess.

          Correct. Abundance is when you are willing to walk away from a girl. I did that even when that girl was my only option. I guess it is a proof that you don’t necessarily need to have 10 plates to have abundance. I was lifting, improving myself every single day and decided that she didn’t deserve my attention anymore as she was making me wait for sex.

          It’s all about having some self-respect, knowing how valuable you really are, knowing you are the shit, knowing you are the fucking prize and she’s lost an opportunity.

          It’s obviously much harder to hold frame when you only have one option, but not impossible.

          Success (abundance) and unsuccess (scarcity) is all about the mindset ones have. If you don’t have the correct mindset, you can’t achieve what you want in real life.

          [–]Lemme_handle_this 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          What’s an Incel who’s had kids?

          [–]menial_optimist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I want to fuck women Do not want to fuck women, that's how you don't get to fuck women Ok?

          [–]BloodColdRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          If you were already successful, what would your non-monetary goals/mission be?

          [–]_MysticFox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          But does it matter if they don't have goals? Because we're not competing against the women, we're competing against the other men.

          [–]ssch336 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Awesome man, The pursuit of women has only breed neurosis in my life, and as you said it distracts you from finding inner peace and purpose. I think this is why childhood is a more spiritual and congruent time, because the pursuit of women is not a priority at all.

          [–]1RationalDoc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Good post, and one thing I would like to add is Rollos SMV graph. Men are at their peak around 30s, and that’s due to around that age that they reached their potential. That’s why any guy under the age of 25 should just focus on their goal and ambition in life, and trust me once you reach there, you will have access to many girls than you ever used to, and suddenly that oneitis you had during your early 20s who broke your heart and brought you to the red pill in the first place suddenly becomes something funny when you think back. I thank my ex everyday for doing what she did and brought me here.

          [–]fahr1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I've also figured out my triggers. If i'm on reddit or whatever and I see an attractive female, I can hear that click in my head of sexual desire, then i start thinking about masturbating. It's that same "click" i get when i think about a cigarette and i tell myself, nah, i'm gonna wait, but my brain still hovers around that til I give in. Thanks for the post, i've saved it to my list and I need to start working on a few things in my life. Thank you!

          [–]BitsAndBobs304 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Works only for people with a tame libido

          [–]celincelin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Mental masturbation. Humans have needs, and no amount of woo woo bullshit can disprove that self evident fact.

          Also, sex is external and money is all of a sudden not. Bitch please.

          [–]simply_a_biscuit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          From personal experience, being on a no fap streak apparently increases your testosterone and sex drive. By extension this helps with game, makes masculine behaviours come more naturally and assists with gains in lifting, supporting your discipline/willpower and confidence as a result.

          It is certainly difficult not being able to ejaculate when you please, but you can "cheat" on a streak by actually having sex, and keeping on top of the streak will assist to that end due to the hormonal changes you'll experience.

          Needing to self pleasure to relieve sexual energy is arguably a form of weakness, and not great for you in the long run if you're trying to work for your meals. Even if you're not having a lot of sex you can take the energy and use it productively in hobbies and pursuits to better yourself.

          [–]furcryingoutloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          There are definitely different roads to get to where you want to go. You want women? You could take a shortcut and dedicate yourself to achieve having women. And you would get them. It's not that hard to figure it out, and once you have some experience, you're going to be killing it.

          But for those who want to evolve and reach much higher levels, you have the longer route. The route that turns you into the man we all wish we could be. The route with real substance.

          Neither one is mandatory, which is why nobody really harps on the need to master the whole sidebar. But the information and tools for achieving everyone's goals are there, you take what you feel you need and run with it. Regardless of the route you choose, at least you are doing something. Movement is life.

          I'd rather see young men working on getting women than working on the next level of the most recently released video game. Not that there's anything wrong with that either. As long as there is balance. Balance is key.

          [–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Understand that women have very little to offer.

          this is very true. almost all women are capable of providing emotional satisfaction to a man. that's why you see plenty of dudes with some uggos and fatties walking around and they're "so in love with them". because a woman knows how to fill that emotional need for a man. its their role in nature. we all still operate on cavemen brain, whether you like it or not. everything we do is driven by hormones and the need to procreate or to get a partner.

          most guys will fuck pretty much anything and as long as she's also filling the emotional needs, the dude is set. and that's all she needs to do for him to provide for her. so there's nothing special about women, except some are hotter than others. big fucking whoop, i can get pussy for a hundo. pussy is cheap, sexual satisfaction is very affordable. and once you realize that women come a dime a dozen you'll see that there's so much more to life than some piece of ass.

          would most men strive to be very successful if they were guaranteed a constant supply of pussy, any pussy all day every day? fuck no. a 9-5, money is coming in, plenty of ass, why bother. humans are lazy by nature. most are content as long as they're not too broke and have something to stick their dick into. but that's stagnation, don't let yourself stagnate and settle.

          [–]dumbkidaccount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Always mind your own shit.. Focus on business & money and such

          Then femoids come by themselves anyway. Dont pursue

          [–]Mrrpuss 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          It is faulty to think of abundance in terms of having an abundance of women. Rather, think of abundance in terms of happiness, or more fundamentally, dopamine. It is not that you must realize that you have an abundance of opportunities for interaction with females, but rather, that you have an abundance of opportunities for the supplementing of yourself with dopamine, or happiness.

          [–]Dargalo04 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Kings always practiced abundance mentality, women were of course always out of the equation. They eventually died with honour due to their contributions and so forth. It's best to live like a king by regarding yourself as high value without the care of what others think.

          [–]the-ape-of-death 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Look up abundance in the dictionary. What you've listed is a nice state to be in, but it isn't abundance. Self-sufficiency or stability might be more applicable to the state you describe.

          [–]astronaut_fili 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Women are Already attracted to You, All You Gotta do Is Conquer Your Goals & Intrigue your Own Value. Make Your Life Belong to You.

          [–]plahstic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          At what point do you start approaching and speaking to women if you're 100% focused on your mission?

          Im following my mission, but sadly don't have any girls in my life. If I was to continue focusing purely on my mission like I am right now, I wouldn't end up meeting anyone worth it

          [–]2914iwiK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Women bring very little to the table, yes, but her family can make you rich quick.

          [–]Dargalo04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          And for those who haven't come across the thought of women deeply not giving shit about your hobbies, talents and intellect only what's in store for them.

          I've experienced it first hand with family members, plates and one ltr.

          td;lr

          Only do what makes you happy and fuck everyone else's opinion including your own flesh and blood.

          [–]DVidojkovic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I always see people saying "read the sidebar", but I'm not sure if they mean that one should read all of the posts on the sidebar, or focus on some posts.

          A little bit more on topic:

          Personally I'm struggling with women and I really wanted to focus on getting women, which is quite weak in one way. As a 17 year old, I'm not sure how to "get" or "find" my mission. I know what I'm interested in, but whenever I open up a programming tutorial or something like that I'm immediately disinterested, and would rather watch some other youtube video. I do lift, three times a week and I'm doing 5x5 SL(the weights I use are still quite light, but I'm looking to improve)

          NOTE: I'm struggling with nutrition and how to keep away hydrogenated fats as there's not a lot of stuff I can eat in the morning, since I got school and I've never tried eating a fruit or something light like that because at the end of the day I'm just gonna want to eat more junk food.

          [–]blessingandacurse1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Find something you're interested in, and go full force.

          A word of caution, discipline is necessary for success.

          Programming may not be for you, and that's ok, but just because you 'want to watch another YouTube video' doesnt mean it's the right thing to do.

          Women want to date someone interesting. That can mean anything from being a star athlete to being a top student in charcoal drawings.

          [–]DVidojkovic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Programming will most likely be my career, or something similar to that since I will be going to an I.T. university. Watching another youtube video isn't the right thing to do, but I'm just not motivated to try programming(or I might be too young to focus on university now).

          [–]yammyha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You sir deserve a trophy, great post to start my monday morning lectures lol

          Too many bright minds in this sub reddit over thinking the art of masculinity

          [–]Infernowarp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Honestly though, is it really that hard to get laid?

          [–]_TheHolyDevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Out of curiosity whre are you from?

          [–]BobotheBuilderDood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I'm 30 and currently in a time of financial scarcity as I'm starting a new business and driving Uber to pay my bills. I'm extremely motivated to get this biz to succeed and just about 90% of my waking time is devoted to grinding out this mission.

          Here's the kicker...for the first time in my adult life, women aren't my priority. I'm in survival mode and all I care about is succeeding in this endeavor. But it's been extremely liberating. I'd like to be getting laid and meeting more women, but they're a side benefit. It's been excellent pursuing something I'm passionate about and letting everything else fall away.

          It's nice putting my goals first and not putting the pursuit of women first.

          [–]a_radanoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          RP desperately needed post this concise and straight to the point giving exactly what is needed to know by a average RP visitor and reader, considering myself. I can relate to every word! Bravo!

          [–]s110chassis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          In a second look, I strongly think that it's not necessary machism in your post. You did well in a big part of your post, but that part... I disagree with you.

          [–]H_Crush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Post has some good ideas in it.

          What I think: you should focus on your mission but not ignore women, rather having a side mission of finding the woman/women worthy of you. This side mission will suplement your main mission and vice versa. What is good about this is that you are the hunter and if you don't like them, drop them; if you do, let them in but don't ever become emotionally attached to the point where it can sacrifice your mission. The type of abundance you are mentioning is good because after rejection/break up etc. you still go to your mission. Don't rationalize it by lying to yourself when unsuccessful but still have life abundance (real, not faked) from your mission while with them. They will love it.

          You may never find the one who could accompany you long term. It mostly depends on you, though. In some cases it would be impossible for known and unknown reason, but that's ok: you can't control everything. Important is to always have honest abundance and take bad things as learning opportunities towards creating more abundance and better life.

          Holes in "soul" shouldn't be replaced with goals/hobbies/money/sex but rather love, and by that I mean the best kind of love: self love.

          [–]circlingldn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Why does this same garbage keep popping up here every other week

          [–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          > - Abundance is when you have your future planned and you are taking persistent action towards your goals.

          Abundance is when you have excess, you see that trash on the ground, do you want to eat it? you don't because you have Abundance, now ask some kid in a third world country if he will eat the trash off the ground. He will eat it and become the happiest kid you ever saw.

          Abundance is related to excess with is related to taking things for granted, which is related to entitlement. Managing

          > We keep saying that women like succesful guys who have a purpose and who don't give a fuck about women. That's right,

          Blue pill says that, women date unsuccessful guys with no purpose all the time, and if they didn't give a fuck about women, they wouldn't be with women, this is a egotistical re-framing of your insecurities of accepting the pill

          > Some posts really look like they are coming from PUA forums in my opinion. This is extremely detrimental.

          Because feminist said so, my god, you seem like you're coming from Hate, in short , blue pill article

          [–]oooKenshiooo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          As within, so without.

          You can not create inner abundance without a proper outer environment. Trying that approach will only increase your struggle, as you will beat yourself up for being to weak to create your abundance from within.

          Me personally, I do not have a mission. I just like to make music and fuck. After I shed the burden of my last 10-year-oneitis, I focused on sleeping with as many girls from as possible. Abundance started to settle in once I was confident enough in my ability that I did not even bother to keep plates around. Setting up my next lays became as natural as brushing my teeth in the morning.

          [–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (5 children)

          When TRP talks about “lifting” do we take PED’s or do we do it naturally? PEDs = Steroids, SARMs, etc

          [–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          Lifting is advised here for several reasons: health, self confidence, increased physical attractiveness and as a side-effect you will attract women.

          Lift for 5 years as a natural. For lift I mean: progressive weight overload, correct diet (caloric surplus if you are looking for gains or deficit if you want to lose fat), use proper technique.

          After these 5 years, you have probably reached your genetic potential. You can now decide if you really want to jump on steroids.

          My honest advice is, don’t, unless lifting is your job (wether it is Fitness youtuber, bodybuilding competitor etc.).

          [–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Have you hopped on them yet?

          [–]lifeisweirdasfuck[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          No, and I never will. You can still look better than 99% of the guys out there by staying natural and lifting for 3 years

          [–]textualintercourse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This is RedPill.

          You've reached the top. It's a lonely place, but when you are whole, you don't need company.

          [–]coopdawgX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This might be one of the best posts I’ve read during my time on here and one i absolutely needed to read.

          So many times during my struggle with all of this, i think to myself “if i just get my life to click with women, the rest will fall into place. As soon as i have this done i can get rolling on the other stuff.”

          Needless to say, i have it ass backwards. Struggled through so many oneitis’s with this mindset only for them to end the exact same.

          Time to make a change once and for all. Thank you

          [–]universalabundance1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Purpose, it's solves everything.

          Let's see more posts about purpose.

          [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Yet this sub is all about how to fuck women. I mean even if you create value, who is the assessor and final judge of such value? Women.

          It's always about women.

          [–]dtyler86 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Maybe one of the best articles I’ve read on here. Thanks for sharing! And I agree 100%

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]2littleblacktruck 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          No. If your game sucks and you're cringey as fuck, you still will not get laid.

          [–]joner888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Forgot about that part . Lol

          [–]TheOneWhoDidntCum -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          amazing post, had 333 upvotes so it was too perfect for me to upvote it

          [–]FatBluntSeason -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          If you build it they will come

          [–]Dargalo04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I've been told that several times during my early teens but never listened as well as too young to understand cause I was chasing pussy.

          I believe boys will by default go down the blue pill rabbit hole due cause society tells them so until they finally get it. Then again, how can we teach them youngens truth without them having to go through that journey.

          Stoicism and act of abundance comes with maturity, it's not something a boy from the age of 12 onwards can comprehend.

          [–]Neon_Drifter2098 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

          Yep totally agree. I have this one friend that just worries about he's gonna stay a virgin forever. In my opinion, when it comes, it comes. Don't worry about too much.

          [–]2littleblacktruck 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          No. Improve your game and you will score pussy. Don't hand out that "jusy be yourself" bullshit.

          [–]Neon_Drifter2098 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Nah my whole point is. There are more things important than sex. Don't just focus simply on getting laid. EDIT2:Oof I definitely agree with you on the "be yourself is bullshit* part. I was one of those guys back a few years ago. Messy hair, dresses weird....... Ye know the "be yourself" guy.

          [–]2littleblacktruck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Fair enough, but this sub is about sexual strategy... nothing more, nothing less. The self-improvement aspect may be a means to that end, but is secondary to the overall goal: a fulfilling sex life.

          [–]zopp3s -1 points0 points  (2 children)

          This post makes a hell sense but as an awakening blue pilled guy how should I stop focusing on women? I mean I'm 20, pretty good looking with aesthetic body, I do have money.. But still I am not getting laid. I mean, how can I focus on other stuff than women, when I do not have sex regularly? In fact it's very rare for me to have sex, and subconsciously, maybe I feel little anxious about it, especially when I compare it to my friends who have gf's and they are all happy. Any advice for a blue pilled dummy?

          [–]2littleblacktruck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Read the entire sidebar.

          [–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Any advice for a blue pilled dummy?

          Ignore this post. It's hamstering of sexually unsuccessful man.

          Most of the guys need to feel sexually abundant to realize that pussy is just pussy. Then they can continue with their mission while being satisfied to their situation with women.

          Now, you have your shit together. Start approaching.

          [–]NeoObi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Sorry, but started reading this and had to stop bcuz of all the F words. Just made me stop. However, a good theory if I could have gotten through it.

          [–]Andgelyo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          This is a quality post OP, good job. I personally needed this. Was feeling lonely since I’m single and have only been fucking women, but this made me realize that women do not make a man happy. Hitting my goals and crushing my dreams do. Thanks for the reminder.

          [–]b0ilerman -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          As someone just starting out on this journey I really appreciate this post.

          [–]LuckyRedPill -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          one of the best posts I've read on this sub.

          Saved.

          Thank you very much.

          [–]s110chassis -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          I love this post. I was searching for a definition of abundance and how to get that mindset. This post does it. Thanks for this long advice. Keep going!

          [–]MuertaDeLS -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          "This is gold, Jerry. GOLD." But seriously, the Law of Attraction in reality is accurate, at least to a huge point. It's something we all need to revisit... perhaps one of the hardest forms of meditation and focus to approach in life. It is an undertaking indeed for men to reroute mental conditioning in such a way that we are not constantly seeking validation from others and the possession of women for self completion.

          This concept is very similar to focusing on achievement and success for internal value and merit instead of image and material things. Great insight.

          [–]zeekt12 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          This is one of the best posts i’ve seen.

          Spot on.