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Building PowerDon't bullshit yourself (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

I see this fucking everywhere, and i used to be like this too: People who are so insecure that they are completely incapable of any sort of introspection and personal responsibility. When you see women write about how amazing they are, but they still can't find a husband, they are doing this. But men do it just as much, and its just as cringeworthy.

In the end, the only metric that matters is your actual results.

It doesn't matter if you think you're an alpha or amazing. If you're still not getting laid, then you're not. It doesn't matter if you think you're working hard, if you're not advancing or getting promotions etc, then you're not.

If you think you're training hard, but you're not getting stronger, then you're not training hard. And this i see every single day, because i spend a fuckton of time at the gym so i see people both come and go and i'd say at least 75% of the people who come in half-ass their workout, and the remaining 25% actually have the kind of body that you wish you had.

People often ask me how i have time to do everything i do and tell me they don't have any time themselves, but when i poke around and start asking what they do with their spare time they either have no answer or change the topic. They're literally not trying, they've just convinced themselves that they are, because reality is too hard for them to accept.

If you're a fattie trying to lose weight, but not getting anywhere, despite counting your calories, then you're counting wrong.

If you think you're special, but have absolutely fucking nothing to show for it, then you're not special.

It doesn't matter what you think you deserve. If you're not getting it, your only options are to either work harder or work smarter. It doesn't matter if some people got the good genetics, or the rich parents. That doesn't help you. Your climb doesn't get shorter because you point out that others were given a head start. That's what Tumblerinas do, and they're completely fucking worthless and miserable.

And do you want to know the best part? When you finally bite the insecurity bullet, stop bullshitting yourself and start to actually put in the effort, you won't need to be insecure anymore because you actually have something to show for it, while all these other people will keep pestering you about how you got where you are.


[–][deleted]  (30 children)

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[–][deleted] 89 points90 points  (19 children)

I love telling fatties who ask how I'm so lean the truth: I'm hungry sometimes and I wait til the next day to eat.

Smoke comes out of their ears

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (17 children)

That's something worthy of a post all in itself: The disappointment you see in peoples eyes when they ask you how you did it, and you tell them "Hard work/Eat Less etc."

They want to hear about the magic fix that solved all your problems with minimal effort. You can literally see how their eyes go blank when they realize you're not going to tell them (Because it doesn't exist)

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Sometimes ill throw a bone and show folks the Apple test.

Feel hungry? Would you eat an apple? No? Then you don't need to eat, it's fake hunger or boredom

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Skinny guys need the fake hunger lol

[–]abstractplebbit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weed is a god send for ectomorph type bodybuilders as long as you eat clean

[–]D0initbig 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a good rule, and as a corollary, if you actually are hungry but it's not meal time..just eat an apple. Even though they are high in fructose, they're mostly water and fiber so are quite filling for the amount of calories you consume.

Apples were once a staple of the "volumetrics" diet that advocated eating things with a low calorie to physical volume ratio, and while volumetrics has mostly been discredited (satiety varies independently of volume) in my experience it works fine.

Eating an apple isn't going to ruin your diet even if you're cutting, it's not tasty enough to cause you to gorge on it, and it is a quick hunger killer and energy booster.

Whenever I'm cutting hard and I get a craving or hunger that is so intense it actually distracts me from doing what else I'm doing, I just eat an apple and it solves the problem.

[–]Stiix72 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wouldn't you eventually want to eat an apple even when not hungry? You'd connect it to eating a meal in your mind and suddenly the apple isn't so... Fruity.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To each his own and whatver works for you to create the deficit is right.

For me, I prefer to be hungry and eat until I am full. So full I may need to rest a bit. Then I dont eat again for many many hours

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

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    [–]PeggedByOwlette 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    There is a secret, DNP and put a piece of tape over your mouth. You can drop 30 pounds in a couple weeks. But you will wish you were dead.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]banjew 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It's incredible how adverse some people (specially overweight people) are to exercise. They only diet, and think that's enough. I say "Hey, I'm a doctor, I know what I'm talking about, it's diet PLUS exercise" "No, I'm ok, I wont exercise" and they remain fat. Incredible. The problem is not their bodies, its their mind.

      [–]PeggedByOwlette 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Tell them to Google DNP then check the obituaries in a month. Mad fun, never gets old.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It is an easy fix. Just stop eating as fucking much. Easy as that. Don't even need to work out.

      [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (3 children)

      In a world full of "I can't do it, it's impossible!" The crab that pulls himself out of the bucket forces the others to reevaluate themselves and say "I could've, but I chose not to... Like a bitch."

      [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

      In theory, yeah. In reality, they just make up more excuses. People are pathetic.

      I've invited so many people to tag along with me after they asked me about my routine, my hobbies, my parties etc. At best they join once and then come up with a bunch of excuses. Mostly they are just "too busy."

      "How do you get so many girls?" "I'm always going out to parties. Want to tag along?" "Nah, i'm smoking weed with my friends"

      "How do you look so fit?" "I train a lot. Do you want to tag along this weekend?" "Nah, i gotta do something at home"

      "How come you're always finished so early with your projects?" "I start very early. Should i let you know when i do?" "Nah, it's fine. I'll take care of it"

      Every single time. I've basically stopped asking, and the few times i ask i never actually expect any of them to follow through.

      Fortunately, it is a great source of motivation though. When i'm out there, pulling my weight, i think about how much further ahead i'm getting than all those who didn't even join.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]D0initbig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Or finding someone who has their shit together already and asks if you want to tag along. Fucking needle in a haystack.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]Throwawaysteve123456 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Haha, oh man. I love these comments. Less than 2% of obesity can be explained by legit medical problems; don't get me wrong, they exist, and if you have them, even with doing everything right you will still be fat. But I am so tired of some fat bitch who eats junk food everyday and never exercises, complaining about her metabolism.

          [–]april_cutter 79 points80 points  (4 children)

          1. Sleeping with women isn't that hard. The more desperate you are for it though, the worse your results and harder it seems. Don't make it the end-all be-all of life. Once you actually get to the point of easy sex, it doesn't mean much. Just saying - once you actually get to that hill you'll want to conquer something else, so have a mission outside of 'women' for fuck's sake.

          2. As OP noted, "putting in the time" isn't enough. Yeah, use results to see if you're actually getting somewhere. Use that to refine your PROCESS to improvement. Are you getting laid more often than you were last year? If not, your improvement strategy is clearly not working. Like that Dad bod you see in the gym every year lifting the same weight. Some people think they just need to approach 1000 women and they'll get good. How's that? Are you experimenting with your look? Your approach? Your methodology? Are you taking stock of what's working, what's not, and why? Or are just getting drunk and mindlessly putting in the reps, doing the same shit over and over again expecting different results (what most people do?).

          [–]markdumte 17 points18 points  (3 children)

          Just saying - once you actually get to that hill you'll want to conquer something else, so have a mission outside of 'women' for fuck's sake.

          This is a funny one because its like telling a hungry person that has not eaten in days: "hey, don't worry about food, once you have some food, getting more food will be a lot easy, so don't worry about getting food and focus on your big mission".

          You have to have the basics solved before you can go for your mission. Telling people to focus on big objectives before they have the basics sorted out is a bad idea.

          [–]azerbajani 11 points12 points  (2 children)

          The thing is that food is a nessicity to life. Sex is not. Funny enough, when I stopped focusing on sex and went to making sure I traveled the world first, getting sex was easier.

          [–]d4nonymous 50 points51 points  (18 children)

          This is an interesting point that hits close to home. We’ve all mental masturbated at some point in our lives. I recently read a self-help book and felt so much more optimistic and confident afterwards DESPITE not doing or changing anything. This is a psychological phenomenon that convinces us we’ve accomplished shit when we haven’t done anything. It’s the same as when you level up in a video game. Psychologically you are proud, but you literally haven’t done anything other than move your fingers around systematically.

          Looking in the mirror is hard. For me, and many others my age (24), you have to realize that your inherent belief that you were meant to be great (as a result of being the “everyone gets a trophy” generation) does not happen without putting in the work.

          I have a full-time 9-5 job that pays the bills and allows me to live comfortably. I realized that this comfort was actually the problem. I now drive for Uber in the evenings to make better use of my free time. Is it easy to take on a second job? No. Does it mean you won’t be able to talk to your friends about the latest Game of Thrones or Stranger Things episode? Yes. But am I getting closer to my goals by being more productive? Yes. And that’s all that matters.

          Action, progress, results.

          [–]A_Cheeky_Fuck 25 points26 points  (6 children)

          When you factor in all the costs, maintenance, etc uber often works out to be just about minimum wage. So I think you're falling into your own trap - you think you're doing something really special by working a second job, but you're literally trading hours of your life for $8/hour. It's action, but not progress or impressive results.

          [–]d4nonymous 20 points21 points  (4 children)

          Im not claiming it to be “special”. Im comparing it to what I was doing before, which was nothing. I have additional income to show for the second job which is progress towards my goal of earning more money. Before I took the job I was watching tv. I’ve been bringing in $14/hr after expenses. My weekly income has gone up by $200. Maybe those aren’t impressive results? If they aren’t up to your standards, should I go back to sitting on the couch or do you have a suggestion for something better?

          [–]Bamb0oM 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Also just to add this, you simultaneously make more money by spending less since you are more busy working your uber, so it is not really only $200pw.

          [–]D0initbig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          And it builds work ethic and discipline...

          Not to mention you are building wealth...the sooner you have it the better (time value of money)

          And people who advocate aggressively managing expenses instead of aggressively pursuing income always seem to miss that there is a bottom cap on expenses, but there's no ceiling on income.

          Work hard. Put yourself out there. You never know, you might end up driving for a CEO that gives you an amazing opportunity you wouldn't have otherwise had. You can't bank on it, obviously, but you can definitely bank on NOT meeting any CEOs when you're laying around your shitty apartment eating top ramen to save a few bucks a month.

          [–]EllenJoyyy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          Dude all he is saying is that you are making minimum wage driving for Uber. You'd probably be better off trying to start a small business in your free time because with Uber you have no room for growth.

          [–]d4nonymous 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Yes, agreed. Uber is not a long term play, just better than doing nothing, which is what most people do with their evenings. I didn’t mention it, but I am working on a business venture as another option that would be prioritized over Uber once it is finalized.

          [–]kaspell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          sometimes it's more important to be doing something than it is to be doing something better

          'edit'; i'm not saying that it's better to work minimum wage than it is to make a salary, but i am advocating that when essentials are met sometimes just doing something, even if it's not optimal, is the most important thing you can do. it's the journey, not the destination.

          [–]Htowngetdown 10 points11 points  (3 children)

          Uber driving is also a nice source of potential business contacts and a chance to practice “game” on strangers

          [–]SelfTaughtPiano 8 points9 points  (2 children)

          and a chance to practice “game” on strangers

          no.

          don't flirt with your uber passengers.

          [–]Htowngetdown 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          You can “game” anyone. I really just meant practicing conversations with strangers. And yes sometimes you get a cute girl passenger and she likes you and gives you her number. I drove for lyft in college, it’s ok to flirt consensually, lol.

          [–]D0initbig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Fuck these all or nothing rules.

          Just don't fucking suck at it and take a hint if she doesn't want to talk to you. But if she's receptive to it and you're acting like a Japanese businessman that doesn't "shit where he eats" you're not being smart, you're just missing opportunities. It's also a convenient excuse to not step up and do shit you know you should, which affects your psyche even if you pretend it doesn't.

          Uber shouldn't be your sole source of income, so it's not anywhere near the same thing as fucking your coworkers when you're a fortune 50 VP making 500k+ per year.

          [–]APSTNDPhy 8 points9 points  (4 children)

          You would be better off studying instead of driving an uber.

          [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          False dichotomy. You can only concentrate hard for a limited period per day, about 3-4 hours without a major rest period. So if you've already done that, what's wrong w driving Uber?

          Plus, you can listen to audiobooks or podcasts.. it doesn't have to be unproductive.

          [–]APSTNDPhy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          If you don't think you can study after work you're sadly mistaken.

          [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Yeah because that's what I said.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yep. Once you are in a position to lead, you can engender that feeling in the teams you lead by using inclusive language. But only do this when you're in a position to benefit and you have high degree of control.

            "Yes, team, we accomplished an amazing thing together, and now we all enjoy the rewards!" ... I just enjoy more.

            [–]RJ_Mars 146 points147 points  (82 children)

            Exactly..... plus a few things i would like to add.... 1. You are accountable to yourself. Make your every move count. Don't take chance because you are compelled to but take chances because you want to. Understand the logic behind it. 2. Value yourself and your time. Wear a fucking nice watch. Trust me, i know what i am saying. Stop taking out your android phone for seeing time. 3. Make a habit. A small one. Maybe just brushing your teeth before sleeping. Just do it. Make atleast one habit consciously permanent. It will change other things too. 4. Stop wishing .

            [–][deleted] 71 points72 points  (39 children)

            I want to ask this seriously. How old are you?

            This is the second or third time this "nice watch" thing has come up. I'm pushing 50, and a business owner. I have never once cared about the relative value of someone's watch. Personally, I do not wear a watch.

            This must be a younger guy thing? That's why I wanted to know your age.

            The rest of your response is on point. (EDIT) Especially the "Stop wishing" part. Wishing is useless.

            [–]kafkian 9 points10 points  (6 children)

            Not OP but I agree with the watch thing. A good watch can open you doors, give you an edge. Might seem as an unfair advantage but it's about leveraging human nature the same way 0.99 prices still work even if you know what they are trying to do. I'm 40 and I'm a freelance consultant, my watch is a vintage Tudor Submariner, not the fanciest of the fancy watches but it still gets noticed. Rolex would work even better in my context.

            [–]coin_pwr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            If you wanna have a good time, then you better have a good watch.

            [–]chauncy_popperstein 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            That's one of my favorite watches. Simple and not overstated. A nice watch that doesn't look like you are trying to hard.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

            I wouldn't get a Rolex. It screams "I'm trying too hard" imo.

            It's one of those things that have gotten so big, that it has a pretty significant stigma attacked to it, about people trying to show off. It's basically the Axe spray of watches.

            [–]kafkian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Depends on the Rolex a basic Perpetual or Datejust or an Explorer are very classy and understated. Of course if you buy a gold Daytona or something with a lot of bling then you're calling to be judged even by those that are already "in the club".

            [–]banjew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I have a G-Shock. I know, nothing fancy. I have fancier watches for going out, but for day-to-day, nothing says "I'm a fucking man" like a big G-Shock. (Not the cartoonish colorful models tough). I admit I bought it only because of fashion, but it turns out a watch it's incredibly useful. Taking out the phone just to look at the time feels very awkward now.

            [–]rmandan 33 points34 points  (3 children)

            Bro, believe me, I wear this gps watch that’s around 200$ that I use for biking and running. At least 1 conversation starts because of it a day. Not only is it worth the investment for the running speed and distance and elevation, but also the conversations

            [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

            I think yours is the best reply so far.

            [–]Shukakun 14 points15 points  (17 children)

            I'm 26, and I used to be a take my phone out of my pocket to look at the time kind of guy, until the summer of 2016. I got into the habit of swimming for an hour every morning at the local swimming pool, but I can't wear glasses or contacts while swimming, so I couldn't tell when an hour had passed. Bought a black plastic waterproof watch for €30, and now I wear it 24/7 (sometimes sleep without it). Didn't know I needed it until I tried it, but I'd never go back.

            It seems like fancy, expensive watches are a huge thing when it comes to male fashion (when you're closing in on your thirties anyway, the cute 18-25 boy look can probably do without it). The problem is the waterproof part. I'd love a €200 watch made out of precious metals, but if I can't wash my hands without taking it off, I'm just fine with my cheap plastic watch, thank you.

            [–]coin_pwr 5 points6 points  (5 children)

            Look into a Seiko SXK007 mate. It's regarded as the best dive watch and often compared to a Rolex Submarnier as it's affordable counterpart. Can be found for around $200~ or so.

            [–]Shukakun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Thanks, I'll look into it. I figured there must be waterproof high status watches out there, but they sure aren't as prevalent as you'd think.

            [–]1dongpal 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            Seiko SXK007

            i read they are unprecise (1 min per day) and have lot of small unprecise movement (especially the hour pointer, not accurate at 12 oclock)

            [–]coin_pwr 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            It's hard to complain for what it is, and that's the affordable price.

            [–]1dongpal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            30€ Casio watches are more precise

            [–]coin_pwr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Ha I can't argue with you there. I've got one myself.

            [–]arctane 4 points5 points  (9 children)

            200 dollar watch made out of precious metals? Mate you need to fork out a bit more than that for a decent timepiece. Get a dive watch... Oris, Seiko, ect. Pay for what you get...mine cost about 4k.. It goes to the beach, in the pool, always wet. Never skips a beat... And it looks amazing on the wrist

            [–]chauncy_popperstein 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            Don't knock his budget. $200 can get him a Seiko solar. It won't impress anyone but looks better than a casio or timex.

            [–]aDrunkenWhaler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Timex have a few great looking watches. Maybe they won't turn heads on their own, but can be a great accsesorry to certain street outfits.

            [–]BrolecopterPilot 8 points9 points  (2 children)

            It amazes me how few guys know anything about decent mechanical watches.

            [–]st3roids 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Cause good mechanical watches cost around 6-10k and the better ones similar to a car.

            not everyone can appreciate that you can have a good mechanical watch for 30-40 years wearing it everyday and that a patek has a statue of a ferrari

            [–]mattizie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I don't think there's any point beyond it being a fashion accessory.

            An ordinary watch will be just as accurate if not more so than a mechanical one and for a fraction of the price.

            Rather spend the money on a motorcycle and tyres.

            [–]ChadThundercockII 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            lol'd at the 200 part. I have been into watches since I was 16. I never wore a watch. I am waiting to get a good one.

            [–]kaspell 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            can you link an image of yours? I'm looking for a nice sport/athletic watch, preferably at least 30-60m waterproof since I do a little dive and I can't bear to spend money on something unless it's got form and function

            I love my pre-Victorianox Swiss army but I wouldn't want to do 100 ft' with it

            [–]banjew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Drop the plastic garbage watch and get yourself at least a G-shock. If you want something slightly better, a Victorinox INOX is classic, manly and unbreakable, and won't break the bank, I think you can get one for something like 300 us$.

            [–]aDrunkenWhaler 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            A watch is the only jewlery for men that shows class. Rings, necklaces and everything else either makes you look like a pimp or a showoff. Other accesories and jewlery can complement your style, but none adds class.

            [–]banjew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I used to think they were jewelry for men, until I got mine and I use it constantly. Time, date, alarms, temperature, etc. Much more practical than the phone.

            Now I would never use an apple watch, that thing is hideous and feminine.

            [–]RJ_Mars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            I am 33, MBA Finance and then did Ph.D in Investment. I am a Country Head in Investment Co.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Thanks for the reply. I already had you pegged as banking/finance (some of my best clients!). Your industry is an interesting one.

            [–]hasantaskin33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I think a decent watch improves SMV by 0.x so why not have one? It's not about functionality at all. No one cares how expensive your watch is but just how it looks.

            [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            To be fair, since you don't wear watches, you're unlikely to notice others' watches. Ever notice how when you're shopping for a new car or recently bought one, you suddenly see that model everywhere? Same thing.

            I guarantee if you've spent the time to research and buy a nice Patek you're gonna start noticing watches.

            [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

            How old are you?

            Probably like 20 since he felt the need to use the word "fucking"

            [–]MrAnderzon 12 points13 points  (22 children)

            Elaborate on the watch point

            [–]dRePe_Thill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            I have a nice looking citizens eco drive that I wear to work - nobody knows its broken :)

            [–]The_Race_Car 12 points13 points  (1 child)

            Not OP, but I think it has to do with associating your time with value.

            [–]RJ_Mars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Bingo ! Spark of genius, u got my point.

            [–]laviksa 14 points15 points  (5 children)

            It's peacocking.

            Too bad there isn't a great (classy) looking digital watch on the market.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            You can always get a fitbit or something like that. Doubles as a watch.

            Waste of money though, imo.

            [–]banjew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Please don't use a fitbit.

            There are samsung smartwatches that doesn't look like complete garbage.

            [–]U_Lika_Da_Tomato 7 points8 points  (4 children)

            Status. A >$1000 watch shows its value and yours and can increase in value over time. Mechanical watches add an old school class and intrigue.

            [–]improve_myself 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            What watch increases in value over time?

            [–]Endorsed ContributorSorcererKing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Rolex, Omega, other high-end automatic Swiss watches.

            [–]improve_myself 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Most of these decrease in value over time.

            [–]RJ_Mars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I meant a nice watch. Pls don't i interpret it as an expensive watch. By nice what i want to say is, as per your need and pocket, but not expensive and neither cheap. Before ppl jump and start labelling me as beta, i must tell u the logic. First of all, we communicate with both verbal and non verbal cues. Even before talking to someone, ppl look at that person and try to deduce what all knowledge they can and auto-complete the rest. So what i am saying is that your health, clothes, body posture and even your accessories transmit signals for others. Dont take these things lightly. Just some immatures call this beta, it is no reason to ignore it. Nice watch simply means any watch which is : 1. Analog (My preference, i believe in old school) u can combine it with chrono 2. Round dial. 3. Leather strap (my prefrence) or metal 4. Dont go for boy-ish digital. 5. Dont go for too expensive if u want it for a daily wear. If u feel for investment, your choice. 6. Some ppl think watch is for some compensation for lacking in self, let them mature a bit. I say why not to use even a watch for adding a value. Maybe, icing on the cake. 7. Some ppl are watch enthusiasts, they understand what i say. 8. Watch is to wear your time on your wrist. i say, try it.

            Thanks for asking me to elaborate on the point. And dude, really apologize for being so brief, i am on move while typing this. Any further questions, i am happy to answer.

            [–]VickVaseline -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

            Yeah, I don't get it. Phones have made watches totally redundant.

            [–]juliusstreicher 3 points4 points  (5 children)

            Actually, not. The whole point of a wristwatch isn't to tell time, so much as it is to tell time without having to fish around in your pocket. If I understand correctly, the term 'tank watch' came about when the wristwatch was invented for tank men in WWI because they wanted to find out what time it was more conveniently than reaching into their pockets for their pocket watches (cell phones).

            Whole point being, looking at a watch is better than going into your pocket for your timepiece.

            [–]inactiveaccount 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            But what if you don't drive tanks and simply don't mind the literal 2 seconds it takes to fish for your phone? Any other reasons apart from fashion?

            [–]Endorsed ContributorSorcererKing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Is fashion not enough? Do you have so much jewelry and other stylish pieces in your wardrobe and on your person that you can't be bothered with one of the classic male accessories?

            [–]inactiveaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            For some people, fashion seems to be enough. For me, it's actually the opposite--I don't have jewelry and so many stylish pieces because I'm quite comfortable with who and how I am. I don't feel it a necessity and, frankly, don't give fashion and its accessories much time of day. However, I don't cast any judgments on people who do--if you like watches and fashion, go for it; but, I would expect the same respect.

            [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            No, it's fashion, but it's masculine-themed fashion.

            Most men aren't going to comment on how well your shirt fits your sexy man-body, but many will comment on your watch, especially if it's tasteful and/or unique.

            Your apple watch doesn't count.

            [–]VickVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Come to think of it, they come in handy on Chinese airlines too. They can arrest you for powering-on your phone during a flight.

            [–]Rudeyyyy 3 points4 points  (3 children)

            Wait a minute who doesn't brush their teeth before they go to sleep? That's disgusting. I can't imagine going to bed with all this shit in my teeth just rotting away at my gums.

            [–]RJ_Mars 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Nah dude ! Its just an example. Kind of most basic change to start with.

            [–]Rudeyyyy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            I mean shouldn't it be something you do from the start? I'd say a better example would be to find time to read 20 pages a day for a book or something where it becomes part of your daily routine. Or always change your sheets once a week. I change mine every Saturday.

            [–]RJ_Mars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yup you are damn right dude. I agree 100%

            [–]malignSAINT 12 points13 points  (0 children)

            OP you dont know how badly I've needed to read this. I've been feeling in a slump lately and have said multiple times in the past 2 years that I need to change my lifestyle to how it was before I changed positions at my job and damn it I'm going to start right now! I'm tired of getting fat and being worthless besides going to work and coming home to stuff my fat face. Thanks

            [–]musicvita25 22 points23 points  (2 children)

            "If you think you're special, but have absolutely fucking nothing to show for it, then you're not special."

            • We live in a society where it is truly easy to be something great as so many people give up with ease.

            Again the people going on about how great they are are not great. The few people who don't are the greatest.

            [–]MrCarepig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            We live in relative comfort compared to our ancestors. Thats a big trap that many fall in, they get too cozy.

            [–]omega_dawg93 22 points23 points  (25 children)

            most of the guys at the gym i go to would get better results... IF THEY PUT THEIR FUCKING PHONES DOWN AND STARTED WORKING OUT!!!

            the mind-muscle connection can NOT be ignored. focus, concentrate, and put in the work.

            check facebook and instagram after you get home and sit on the toilet.

            [–]Cesare_MA 4 points5 points  (3 children)

            It's a shame how many people neglect the MMC and just push the weight around instead of focusing on slow, isolated contractions. I see it all the time with guys who basically drop the barbell on their chest when benching instead of bringing it down slow.

            [–]omega_dawg93 4 points5 points  (2 children)

            the old school "rule of thumb" from mike mentzer (rip) was that the negative should take almost 2x as long as the positive.

            doing it that way kills the momentum reps and almost forces good form.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            It doesn't force good form at all though. No, bouncy momentum reps aren't good, but most of the muscle building, pump creating action is in the positive portion of the movement, focusing on contracting the correct muscles in a natural motion. I've seen a lot of gym idiots doing slow negatives but clearly not getting a good contraction and never making progress (i.e. the infamously mediocre Ian McCarthy). I don't think it's particularly helpful and I also think Mike Mentzer was a mildly insane idiot.

            [–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I agree with you that the negative stuff is a bunch of shit, but, otoh, didn't Arthur Jones, inventor of Nautilus equipment, do some controlled experiments, or was he just taking Mentzer's word for it??

            [–]HunterRave 13 points14 points  (16 children)

            Okay, I see where you're coming from. But I personally use my phone to keep track of my reps/sets, so basically right after I'm done lifting some heavy shit, I pull out my phone

            [–]omega_dawg93 13 points14 points  (3 children)

            comment wasn't directed at you personally. I'm talking abt the guy that does one set then plays on the phone for over 5 min while occupying equipment.

            that's too much time btw sets and prevents others from using the eqmt... causes you to lose both workout focus & intensity.

            i used to be a trainer at gold's gym in Dallas in the late 80s... trained with a few pros too. they completed intense workouts in 55 to 75 minutes... taking 45 to 75 seconds btw sets.

            and get this... volume (high reps) plus strict form was the focus not the amount of weight; they didn't want injuries.

            [–]HunterRave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I love the JEFIT app, because it's super simple, and when you're done with a set you press a button and it starts a 60 second rest timer, then you hit the next set.

            Although sometimes when I get a text or something during the rest time, it's easy to turn that into a 90 second or 2 minute rest. I try to stay focused when I'm in the gym though

            [–]Unlucky_Leader 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            This is a bit of rabbit hole at this point as it gets off the main message but most are not professionals and building strength requires time in between sets.

            [–]omega_dawg93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I'm not saying train like a pro... as not many walking this planet do not have the genes.

            what i am saying is that for any gains... whether you're working for size or strength, require that you to be FOCUSED. and time btw sets should be regulated.

            [–]D0initbig 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            I'm on my phone at the gym when I do LISS cardio because I'm reading a fucking book. I'm sure if you saw me you'd lump me in with those other guys, but I fucking detest social media.

            Careful with assumptions, they allow you that exact same feeling of unearned superiority discussed in this thread.

            [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            i doubt anyone here is speaking directly to you. why are you taking the statements personally?

            [–]D0initbig 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Because it's a discussion forum and I was discussing my point of view? The judgment you shared (in all caps no less) was unreasonable trashcan thinking so I was sharing my personal experience to demonstrate why.

            Yes, social media is a cultural abomination but not all the guys staring at their phone are on Facebook so stop acting like you're better for it. You're not.

            Just do your thing. The fact that the thought crossed your mind shows exactly how much you really care about what everyone else is doing.

            We're on the same team. Don't try to discredit me by acting like I took offense to your comment.

            [–]ThickDickWarrior89 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            Fat fucks get so angry at me just for being lean. They say “one day your metabolism is gonna slow down”. I’m fuckin 27 and I’m down 50lbs from when I was 21.

            [–]CallMeHaseo 9 points10 points  (5 children)

            Too many people like to be delusional and ultimately shoot themselves in the foot. You can't just "be confident" if there's nothing to show for it. It goes to show how much people subscribe to their own feelings and prefer to do what feels better as opposed to doing what is actually in their best interest.

            [–]Rakosnik 2 points3 points  (4 children)

            wrong. i've seen the most confident losers you cant imagine. confidence is also the way you talk to yourself. when you're making good money, have a car, living etc yet still belittle yourself in your own mind in every way possible you will hardly find confidence in yourself.

            you might be surprised but it is actually easier to talk shit to yourself on daily basis than think of yourself positively. of course the best combination is both of the worlds. having to show something for it combined with the right self talk.

            [–]CallMeHaseo 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            They're not actually confident, they act that way as a coping mechanism to make themselves look/feel better. You only see what they appear to be stop being naive.

            [–]Rakosnik 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            yes you can fake it till you make. just go watch a video of the rich dudes unable to speak to an average woman. it all starts in your head. you missed the basics.

            [–]CallMeHaseo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            They're RICH they have something to be confident in...

            [–]Rakosnik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            yeah that should give them more confidence for sure and it does but in different aspects of life. they can be ruthless businessmen. they can even talk work at company's meetings to woman, no problem. however, when it comes to approaching women and saying something outside of work setting etc... they break like little 5yos.

            [–]D0initbig 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            In the end, the only metric that matters is your actual results.

            Listen I get what you're saying but this statement is ridiculous. By what metric do we measure our results? They are two separate concepts. A result is not a metric.

            But you are right in that most people cherry pick the metric that's easiest for them or makes them look the most favorable instead of the one that actually fucking matters.

            Example: job title (hierarchal position) versus actual income

            I'd rather be an analyst making 300k than a director making 120k, unless that director had outsize influence worth more than the difference.

            [–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Your climb doesn't get shorter because you point out that others were given a head start.

            Enjoyed this part. Enjoyed this post.

            [–]TRP_mask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I'm only 17 so don't be too surprised.

            I never got laid before. I am getting pretty close though. It's just hard to keep my personal life and school life from colliding. Personally I'm a guy with close red pilled friends who has a lot of social contacts. In school I'm a weird nobody that doesn't really belong anywhere (my closest friends have all finished high school, mine was a year longer). The girls I meet often know the people I know in school, and even though I don't care what they say about me, since they're mostly idiots anyway, it heavily influences the way people think of me and decreases the amount of people I can actually start something with. This obviously gives me 2 faces: a confident one outside of school and a shy one in school. It's not easy to be someone else when everyone knows the old you and doesn't want to believe you change. Self confidence is key, but you can't always be self confident. People have to let you.

            [–]NapalmSunshine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I haven’t been this turned on in a while.

            [–]PeggedByOwlette 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Your assessment of people's progress In the gym is inaccurate. Some of us use steroids. I can run 700mg a week of tren, put 60% effort into my diet and have veins in my Abbs.

            Thank you for teaching me the word tumblerina.

            [–]1mental_models 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            you missed the point.

            If you have veins in your abs(i'm assuming you mean vascularity and lean mass) - that's a fucking good result. Nobody gives a fuck if you could have worked 40% harder. You were smart. You took the correct drugs and you worked hard enough to get ripped. You did great in that category.

            The thread starter is talking about people who do NOT have results.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

            [–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Everyone has to find their own metrics.

            Quality/quantity of sex, weight on the bar, enjoying life, medals, money, freedom, etc.

            Find out what is important to you and then find a way to measure your progress.

            [–]crapaudface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Great Post. This is also what i say to people who think they re special just unlucky. Only results matter, if they suck then work on yourself or continue to suck

            [–]uebermacht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            [–]Epictetus2017[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            This can also apply to lack of confidence despite obvious competence in a given skill, or quality.

            [–]Ichewfivegum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You can't be a victim when you actually take responsibility thooooooo.

            [–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            When you see women write about how amazing they are, but they still can't find a husband

            i know quite a few of these. also a HUGE red flag when you see a bitch on tinder/insta/whatever writing about herself in that way. you know there's more baggage than the 747.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            True. I thought i wrote "Objective" somewhere but i must have forgotten it.

            If your results can't be counted or objectively measured, to some degree, then it's probably not real.

            You'll notice that the people who bullshit themselves always use completely subjective metrics for themselves. "I'm strong", "I have a great personality", "I'm nice", "I'm ambitious" etc.

            If you don't know how much you can lift, you're probably not that strong. If you're not constantly invited out or struggle to get dates, your personality is probably not all that great, if you're stuck in a shitty job with a low salary, then you're probably not that ambitious and so on.

            Another great example is when people say "I have a degree!!" The only relevant response is "In what?" The people who do this have attributed great subjective value to the title of having a degree, and intentionally ignore that in most cases that degree is worthless.

            [–]IIISOMAIII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Your climb doesn't get shorter because you point out that others were given a head start.

            Fucking solid line. It feels good to get that slap in the face from reaity. Keep pushing my brother.

            [–]TheDevilsAdvokaat[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I really enjoyed the first part of your comment "I'm such an amazing woman, but I cannot find a husband.."

            Yes, a complete failure of introspection. Some compound it even further this way: They decide the entire male GENDER is at fault.... not them.

            [–]Leave_em_leakin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Great post man. Definitely just got tons of motivation reading this.

            [–]BlackVale 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Thank you for this post. This is something that I have began to realize over the years after graduating college and not having a job in my field. I am 24 right now and am trying to find ways to build my value as a programmer so that recruiters and companies would notice me at least.

            I used to listen to the common dogma that's floating around now. It's "go to college and come out with a job". That's a very unrealistic expectation and makes many people my age believe that they are entitled to a job after college. No on has to hire you even though society promises it. You are in charge of where you go in life. The hardest part for me has been accepted that even if I did something wrong going on someone else's promise or direction it's my fault for being the fool, placing the trust on someone else who doesn't have to live my life, and expecting a handout in the first place.

            [–]666_DDDS 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            I learnt a trade. Starting from the bottom as an apprentice you learn quick that the only thing your boss gives a shit about is if you can do your job.

            It matters nothing who you know or what education you have.

            I studied harder during my apprenticeship than most people who got degrees. I wanted to know everything about my craft.

            The sense of entitlement from people our age makes me despise them. Makes me laugh when they tell me how unfair it is how much I make and the companies I have worked for at such a young age.

            Whilst most university students are out getting plastered at every opportunity, there are young guys out there learning a trade, working hard, putting in the hours, going months at a time without alcohol. It's no surprise learning a trades trumps getting a degree these days.

            Edit: Something I have to add, I would be nothing if it wasn't for the older guys I worked with during my younger years. They guided me to where I am today... these guys gave me guidance I unfortunately never received at home.

            [–]BlackVale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Are there any trades that aren't detrimental to health? It's either that, join the military, or bite the bullet and start a business for me.

            Edit: thank you for your input

            [–]1davebrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You can measure your alphaness by the number of STDs you've contracted. None=lift more bro.

            [–]1mental_models 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I love this post.

            There are a shit-ton of people who are ignorant of reality and/or lazy.

            Many of these people believe 'everyone is a winner'. These are the folks who spout opinions as if they are facts.

            And I'm about as 'anti-outcome' as you can be.

            'Process' oriented.

            To me, IDGAF about a short-term result.

            Any time I take a step on my path towards a goal, that shit is a win.

            IDGAF if it's a successful step.

            Every step I take is a win. But I don't fucking step without a strong insight into how that step works. I don't fucking step without my virtues in order. Otherwise that shit is not a valid step. When I take a step, that step is at the very least intelligent and competent. After I succeed or fail, I look back at the process and learn from any errors or successes.

            An ignorant ass step is NOT a 'win'.

            And, if the process isn't resulting in concrete long-term RESULTS, then I'm not stepping that way any more, unless I learn a better way.

            A lot of people wandering around like the walking dead with their path. Underachieving. Speaking opinions as fact. Got a lot of excuses.

            [–]buddhadarko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            People will always have a million reasons as to why they haven't done something that they know they should do and need to do, and each reason is tied to themselves, but they've convinced themselves it's something external. This way they can acknowledge the problem, but shift the blame entirely onto some imaginary scenario where they are completely helpless and hopeless. Then, the crazy part is, doing this activates the reward part of your brain when you do something like eat bullshit snack foods. Your brain tells you "Oh, you're such a victim. You deserve this big ass burger with fries and a coke. Go ahead and have that candy, it's not your fault you're overweight."

            Like OP said, introspection is something that a lot of people have an issue with because it holds a mirror up to their faces as the reason for them being in the position they're in.

            [–]lvl99jacked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Results matter.

            RP: "it was a waste of time, I didn't have anything to show." BP dreamer: "That last decade was a lot of fun. I have nothing to show, but at least I have a smile on my face." RP: "how much dope have you smoked today so far?" DP dreamer: "Pot isn't dope man. No one cares." RP: "Exactly no one cares about you. How's that back pain at age 25?"

            [–][deleted]  (6 children)

            [deleted]

            [–]UnpluggedGoku 3 points4 points  (4 children)

            Well, everyone learns eventually. Don't be negative about the progress of a person.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

            He doesn't know me. This acc is 2 weeks old and has no connection to me IRL whatsoever.

            It's just a salty troll that's upset because i poked his bubble of insecurity.

            [–]UnpluggedGoku 3 points4 points  (2 children)

            oh shit. So much pathetic people. I don't know what he will gain from this non-sense.

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