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Married Red PillWhat nobody tells you about marriage, from a married man (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by MasculineHapa

So hear me out... you may think, because I am married, I do not understand what goes on in this sub. What motivates you. What drives you. That I am against your beliefs. But I am very much in favor of a great many of the things you say.

Long story short... I started dating this cute girl when she was 18 and I was 20. She's this cute, perky, small thing... curly black hair, big brown eyes. Sexy body, sexy breasts, everything about her was fine... fast forward two years, she's 20 and I'm 22, and we find out she's pregnant (before anyone asks: yes the kids are mine, tested and all). Anyway... she get's pregnant. And we keep it. We even get married. We have gorgeous daughter. So far, so good.

Sex continues to be regular, believe it or not. We have our ups and downs and periods when it's less, but remains pretty solid. Over the next years we have two more kids. But things start to deteriorate. First thing to go was her body. This is a big deal to a lot of men, myself included, and I'll share these things because I think too many men are NOT aware of what pregnancy and motherhood does to a woman's body. It completely fucks it up. Ruins it.

The first baby we had did not yet deal the killing blow to my wife's body. In fact she got hotter in some ways; her perky and small breasts got a little fuller, slightly less perky. Her nipples grew to be very large, which to me was a major turn-on. She gained some weight, which mostly went to her hips and ass and didn't bother me. Her pussy was less tight, but this, too, did not bother me as I am not lacking in size. She gained some stretch marks, again, it's okay with me. I mean, I loved her! I didn't mind.

But the next baby came. And her stretch marks got worse. Her breasts got bigger, and more saggy. Her belly no longer went back to being as flat as it used to be, right after baby number one. She didn't 'bounce back' anymore it seems. She still looked good in clothes, but less good out of them. When she started breastfeeding baby number two while dieting, at the same time, this completely fucked up her breasts. Not only did they become saggy like those African women on an old National Geographic Magazine, they also shrank down a lot. Like tiny little veiny bags, eached topped with a gigantic plum-like nipple that no longer belonged to me, but to that baby.

She got skinnier. Her ass shrank. She barely had any breasts to speak of, and only looked good in special pants and in a bra that suited her figure and pushed up her boobs. With make up she still looked good. Even in her late twenties, now she looks good to the naked eye. Her face is cute. Her slender body, while clothed, looks fine. Few men realise how ugly, stretched out, bloated, scarred and saggy even a young woman can be after countless fucks and a few babies. How completely and utterly ruined their bodies become.

Behavior-wise, she got fucking mean. Called me useless. Called me all sorts of names. Did not appreciate me even as I am trying my hardest always to be the best father to our three children. I've been with a few girls prior to our relationship. I wonder if age, marriage, and in some cases motherhood, has treated these girls any kinder. But I doubt it, honestly. I think the biggest and harshest Red Pill I had to swallow is that women age disgustingly. Milk, rather than fine wine. At thirty I look better than I ever did. I'm fitter, more in shape, more muscular and overall more attractive than I was when I first married. But my wife is but a shell of her former self.

Now for the rest of my life, provided we do not divorce or whatever (which, in some ways, would even feel like a release), I will have to wake up to this woman. Stretch marks. Saggy tits. Enormous wrinkly nipples covering most of her chest. Flabby, toneless belly. Negative attitude towards me, and caring only about looking good *on the surface* for others... meanwhile, I get to see the real picture every day. And it ain't pretty. Yes we still fuck. Very regularly. It's only really good anymore when it's a hate fuck really. I am simply not attracted to her anymore and haven't been for a long time. I realize this now. I freely admit it. It's like I am a married man, faithful to a fault, dutiful. And yet I was cucked, not by any other man, but by Mother Nature itself. And by society's unrealistic expectations.

TL;DR: I married a cute girl, she turned into a harpy. Her once sexy body quickly deteriorated and now I will have to live the rest of my life with a woman I detest and who detests me, while pretending to the outside world and to our children that we love each other deeply. And fuck a pussy I am disgusted by for the rest of my earthly days while those of my bro's who were smart enough not to get locked down continue to fuck hot twenty-something pussy and discarding it when necessary.


[–]Yourmamasmama 176 points177 points  (15 children)

Hmm OP, it seems like you just don't like interacting with your wife. When most people marry, they marry for the personality so that they won't have to be old alone.

You fucked up by marrying the pretty girl for the sex.

[–]Jbug311 84 points85 points  (3 children)

OP is gonna fuck around and his wife is gonna cheat on him and leave him. Keep being a miserable asshole of an entitled husband. She’s gonna seek out acceptance and validation somewhere. And best believe she’s gonna find it. Even if she’s as bad as you say she can still pull triple the ass you can on her worst day. That’s a fact. How would you feel if your daughters bf or husband talked about her the way you have? Me? I’d knock his fucking teeth out.

My wife had amazing tits and a rocking body. We didn’t have kids until our mid 30s. Her tits got wrecked and she gained a little weight. We both did. She got a boob job and tummy tuck and has lost most of the rest. Her self confidence has gone back up and that benefits me. She’s still sexy AF and honestly I feel like our sex life is better now than before we had kids. More sex, new stuff for us because we communicate more (throating, anal, etc). You need to be supportive of her and both talk about what you want to get out of this thing. Otherwise your marriage is on a countdown clock to d day. Then you’ll be paying out the ass in child support and only seeing your kids every now and then. Is that what you want?

[–]Viking_RnP 491 points492 points  (119 children)

Is her company valuable to you at all?

[–]jackandjill22 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Good lord this post scares the fuck out of me.

[–]simplisticallysimple 166 points167 points  (0 children)

This is actually an excellent question.

[–]MasculineHapa[S] 203 points204 points  (112 children)

Fair question...

I think it is. I think I still value her company, as she has a quick mind and is pretty witty. She's also a funny person. Just very mean-spirited at times. The main issue is, I am no longer sexually attracted to her at all. And I don't see this changing any time soon. Possibly never. Sex is a big part of why I liked her at first. She was hot as hell and so horny. Now she disgusts me. And I disgust myself for sticking around, but would probably be even more disgusted with myself for bailing on her now that we have kids.

[–]chesterburger 80 points81 points  (11 children)

If she’s mean and nasty you have a fair point, that’s her fault and something she can change and work on. Her stretch marks and deterioration of her body is a sacrifice she had to make for your kids. If she’s exercising and not overweight it’s not really her fault. I’d say work on her attitude but accept her body, what is she supposed to do, go crawl in a hole and die while you find a younger and hotter girl?

[–]deville05 191 points192 points  (22 children)

I think a part of her meanness comes from her utter disgust at her own body. She probably blames you since you jizzed in her and she had to carry your second child and ruin her body while nothing happened your body.

So forgive her since nature fucked her more than it fucked you. The disgust you feel for her is probably less than what she feels for herself.

I am not a feminist so I hope nobody thinks that i am one because I empathize with the female.

At the end of the day.. it's a problem ..And like all problems, there is a solution somewhere. Maybe take care of the children's while she focuses on diet and working out. Then later gift her some plastic surgery package..

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

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    [–]MasculineHapa[S] 48 points49 points  (3 children)

    I realise that it is a bad situation for everyone involved. And I also realise there are certain aspects of the whole situation that she simply has zero control over. And that me, making a big deal or even some sort of breaking point out of those, makes me a bit of an asshole. That said? It's important that I was able to freely write down my feelings here for younger men to read, so that they can think of these things that few people think of when they get married with the intention of sticking together forever and raising a family. Often times, both partners let themselves go and turn unattractive. It happens and it sucks and people should be aware.

    [–]deville05 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    Well thanks for writing. I didn't think you were being an asshole. You were letting your pov out and that's ok. People don't always write about the other person simit may seem like you are being self centered. But so what.. if you can't make your anonymous post about your anonymous self, then where else can you? Look you do come across as though you haven't tried to fix the situation.. or maybe the truth is you haven't written it or you just don't know how to. Either way truth is that I don't know your life and who knows what you are in like in life. Maybe you are worse or maybe you are much better.

    Anyways.. maybe you need to start including her in your body fixing regimen and see where that takes you both. Either way..She popped out two of your seed and ruined herself for the both of you. Maybe this is your test as a man. See if you can be the captain and steer your ship and your first mate away from the depths of hell, bucko.

    [–]TheStoicCrane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Is it all possible for you to lead her into a gym? Take the role of her personal trainer and find a way to incentivize her into getting back in shape? I see guys allthe time with their girlfriends in the gym leading them by the reigns. Maybe that's the solution here.

    [–][deleted]  (41 children)

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      [–]Fyrjefe 35 points36 points  (1 child)

      you only want more because of the hyper sexualised world we live in

      This is one of the key realisations involved in one's unplugging. We are taught to let our desires rule us because it is a useful marketing lever, among other things. Anyway, good response. Lots to think about in your words.

      [–]IClogToilets 168 points169 points  (23 children)

      Wow, well said. The bottom line is the OP has a choice. He can go after the younger hotter ass. But then another man will marry his wife and raise his daughters.

      Or he can grow the fuck up.

      [–]MakeAmericaRichAgain 82 points83 points  (4 children)

      I think OP is just discussing an issue with marriage that mostly goes undiscussed on trp. We harp about divorce rape, fucked up family courts, and custody an awful lot, but no one really talks about the "shelf life" of women.

      With that said, it's a pretty well-known phenomenon by most of us that childbirth is hell on women's bodies. OP is just helping to educate the guys who don't know.

      [–]Didiathon 36 points37 points  (1 child)

      Ugliness is something you can get a decent women to work against. Women don’t like being ugly. They just tend to be bad at putting in the work needed to get in shape. They’re more likely to get overwhelmed by emotions/fear when thinking about all the work they need to do and not push themselves enough.

      If you are demonstrably physically stronger than her and lead/act as a personal trainer/show that you want her to look good, she will fucking love pushing herself for you. You will be the law; she won’t need to worry about her fragile self motivation or emotional hamstering anymore. She’ll have you to lean on.

      This will not make her 20 again, but it will make her a lot hotter than she would be otherwise.

      [–]Lontar47 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      I agree with this. My wife got smacked around by chemotherapy rather than a pregnancy, but left to her own devices I'm pretty sure she would've just given up ever trying to get back in shape. She allowed herself to become very overwhelmed thinking about the years of work, rather than seeing that it's just a little bit of work done every day.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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        [–]yukinara 45 points46 points  (0 children)

        Well, I'm more disgusted with you to be honest. You were the one who pumped 3 kids into her to begin with. Honestly, if you didn't see the damage the first one did on her and you still decided to have 2 more, you are too fucking stupid to breed. If course any woman would turn grumpy as hell for taking care of 3 kids while you are busy out there "improving" yourself. Do you seriously think any woman on Earth would have time to maintain their own body while having 3 little gremlins hanging by her side 24/7? Fuck no dipshit. Now that she is used, old, ugly, you are tired of her? Let's reverse the situation. If any women did that to a guy, this sub would try to get her head on a stake.

        YOU DID ALL THIS TO YOURSELF. YOU-MADE-THE-VERY-DECISION-TO-HAVE-KIDS.

        Suck it up and deal with it. Or get divorce raped.

        [–]slackersdelight 36 points37 points  (1 child)

        Time to invest in some refurbishment bro. Not so much that she starts thinking about challenging your frame, but enough to let her know that you appreciate her delivering and caring for your offspring, if you have the funds that is. Maybe that will lessen her insecurities and attention seeking behavior (at least from what you are describing at the moment, I mean it will never go away completely), and you’ll probably get what you are lacking as well. All in all it’s cheaper than trading in for a new model.

        Try tro bring it up to her and make it seem like you think she deserves it for all the work she put in. I mean from the way you describe it she’s probably going to enjoy a new set of tits.

        [–]freshona 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        So let her know that.

        What's she going to do, get mad? Oh no! I'm sure your kids will appreciate mom and dad being visibly disgusted by each other.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorWe_Are_Legion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Make your woman behave. You are what is lacking in this picture.

        You describe a wife without qualities, but this tells much about her husband as well. Let me ask you, why is that you cannot control her tongue? Why is it that she does not care to attract you?

        And most importantly (because somehow in my mind, all dysfunction is due to dysfunction of the ego), why is it that you suffer due to this?

        Look, rethink. Your knowledge right now is limited. You have failed because you only know what you know. Try a new mindset: Take responsibility for all the things going wrong. How? Well, first, expand your knowledge. I'm very sure once you start diving into resources you will find that there was much that you could have done. That said, do remember that what matters most is not the shit-show your life has become, but what you choose to do now. Let me know if you're willing to work and I'll find good resources for your problem.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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          [–]ethreax 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Damn i feel like this after just 2 yeara

          [–]TiberZurg 19 points20 points  (10 children)

          My parents stayed together 'for my sake' and they didn't like each other. I can tell you now that this had a very detrimental effect on me. I wish they would've divorced when I was 10. For your childrens sake, please divorce your wife.

          [–]Lightning14 14 points15 points  (1 child)

          Corollary: My parents didn't separate until I was 24 when my Dad decided to bail. I am very grateful for the time I had to spend together with them as a family. All the baseball games, holidays, camping trips, road trips, ski trips that my Dad organized for us all despite my mom's constant complaints. Their relationship sounds simlar to OP. My brother who is 12 years younger than me was not so fortunate and it was very telling in his fucked up relationship with my Dad.

          [–]josh4-40 17 points18 points  (0 children)

          At a certain point, I would imagine the relationship would become some sort of dependency that could be misinterpreted as value.

          [–]dartandabeer 35 points36 points  (3 children)

          You sound like you married for looks and didn't even bother getting to really know her personality

          You're also both young. She'll be immature and so are you.

          You either piss her off now or wait it out and see if you guys sort it out.

          [–]murt98 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          I agree on the marrying for stupid reason

          [–]AmigoDelDiabla 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          "Look, I married a 20 year old. There's photographic evidence. You're no longer 20. You're clearly not holding up your end of the deal." What world does this guy live in where chicks' bodies don't change as they age and have kids?!?

          [–]murt98 27 points28 points  (0 children)

          I feel sorry for her and not you.

          [–]cigar1975 73 points74 points  (11 children)

          I don't want to come across as a troll, or rude. I just don't understand what the fuck you think YOU deserve. This woman gave you a couple of kids, and all the while you can only think of your goddamn self.
          Perhaps you can sort your goddamn issues out, talk to the mother of your kids and try to work past what seems like your petty goddamn issues. You said she had a quick mind and is funny, but her body is getting older. Her pussy is stretched out, what the fuck do you expect after she popped out a couple of kids..

          Do you know how many people get fucked over, left by their wives and saddled with child support for kids that may not even be theirs? You come across like a fucking self centered egotistical cunt.

          I don't mean to come across like a dick, and I know I do. You had kids too early, you should have waited a few years, but that shit happens. Try to ease into talking to her about the issues you have with one another, i'm pretty sure she might have some issues with you that are leading her to feel the way she does. Try to find the spark that lead you to marrying her, and both of you try to fall back into love with one another. I do have sympathy for you, but I have more for her from the way you come across. Communication is a beautiful thing, when you stop having it with each other, that's when issues pop up. That's when the cheating starts, and I hope she doesn't turn to someone for a connect you two appear to have lost.

          I do wish you the absolute best, and I hope you remember why and what you fell in love with. Try to grow a bit as a man, and as a husband. Good luck!

          [–]notamouse418 69 points70 points  (0 children)

          you sound like an asshole, and it's gross as hell that you can only value the woman you married by how fuckable her body is to you. You should get a divorce, because no one deserves to live their life with someone who hates them the way you seem to hate your wife.

          [–]redd_reality 366 points367 points  (42 children)

          You know, op, I read all about how your wife got worse with age in every way and how that is a detriment to you. But, what I did not read was how you progressed down your life's path during these years.

          Your wife fulfilled her evolutionary, biological life's purpose. Did you remain on track in your growth and development. Did you continue to learn who you are and never stop striving to be better?

          Maybe your wife had kids, lost her youthful body and became a bitch. But maybe her nagging, bitch attitude was brought on because, while she turned into a human baby making machine, you remained the same person in every way. Maybe she unknowingly resents you for not being all you could be in your role as her husband, in your role as a man?

          Do you think, maybe, if you were continually developing yourself and discovering new, meaningful ways to be, live and love, she would inevitably continue down the hag path?

          I don't know, but there is always two sides to every story.

          [–]morganKxoxo 34 points35 points  (1 child)

          THIS. You sound really immature and definitely had unrealistic expectations. You chose to have kids with her, it’s no surprise that changes a woman’s body. But what are YOU doing to be a good husband? How are you taking care of yourself and leading? You sound like you have no interest or care for her outside of her body and I’m sure she can sense that. It probably makes her resent you and treat you poorly if she senses you have no respect for her outside of her looks. If you only care about how hot a woman looks while she’s naked you never should have gotten married. You didn’t list ANY qualities about her that you fell in love with outside of her physical appearance. I honestly feel sorry that she’s married to a man who sees her the way you do.

          [–]iamnotfromtexas90 103 points104 points  (9 children)

          Very fair. If you're a shit leader, you can't blame the crew for mutiny.

          If op is a loser slob than it's all on him.

          If he's running the best he can be, at red line on all cylinders, no matter if he's just an inline-4 or beast W-12, then she's a bitch and he's fucked (in the bad way).

          [–]redd_reality 16 points17 points  (7 children)

          If she is a bitch, it means she is not being her true self. She is probably depending on him to show her life, love, experience and happiness and he isn't living up to her expectation.

          If this is true, he needs to be come his best self and be her role model so she can become her best self, or if she is unwilling to take her own personal responsibility for herself after he has become or is becoming his best self, then he needs to cut her loose. Throw her back into the pond of her own life suffering so she can hit a newer low and inevitably find what she is looking for, within herself; the only place she is truly going to find it.

          [–]ArchetypicalDegen 59 points60 points  (7 children)

          So true. We don't see how OP has been. For all we know, he's out of shape, and just generally unambitious as fuck. I truly believe that ambition is the thing women desire in a man most. If OP is complacent and phoning in his average 9-5 and just sitting on the couch all day, it makes sense she hates him too. He judges her body, but I'd love to hear about his.

          Honestly, a lot of men who think they've taken the red pill are actually still blue pilled and completely one-sided. The real red pill is that women have particular tastes in men, and will either want to find someone who fulfills that, or become bitter and hateful.

          [–]BettyPages 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          I don't know, but there is always two sides to every story.

          He posted a while ago on another subreddit about having an affair with a high school girl and asking for advice on how to keep if from ruining his life. When the overwhelming response was to end it, he insisted he wanted to "have his cake and eat it, too" and that he wanted to keep up the facade while still having an affair. He outright admitted to always avoiding conflict and being a coward. He paints himself here as a real good guy and devoted family man, but there is definitely more to this story.

          [–]MasculineHapa[S] 23 points24 points  (10 children)

          That's not an unfair question to ask. I do suppose I am not as sharp as I used to be, I am not on top of my game if that's what you are wondering. But I am hard working anda very capable provider. I am a good and committed father. And I still blow her back out when I get the chance. I just don't feel good about being with her anymore, the way I used to. And the relationship in general has deteroriated to the point of me being quite depressed over it.

          [–]redd_reality 18 points19 points  (2 children)

          The relationship isn't the issue.

          This issue is, and you know this to be true on a certain level, is that you are not happy as you are.

          You both have emotional baggage you're not aware of that you brought it into the relationship and sooner or later, or now, it is getting to the point where you can no longer distract yourself from it. You love yourself too much to continue living a life that isn't true to who you truly are. What's more troubling, is that you don't really know who that is. Neither does she.

          A relationship is a thing where two people walk side by side each other. They grow, change, become better, hurt, strive, release and love THEMSELVES while encouraging their partner to do the same.

          If you tell me the relationship is the reason you're not happy, I'd tell you it's not the job of the relationship to make you happy; it's job, or her job to you is to be honest. She reflects what she sees - you - back to you. She sees you in every way you cannot see yourself. And vice versa, you do this for her, as well.

          It makes perfect sense someone would say their partner isn't jiving with their life anymore. That's because their partner is aware of, and demanding they release certain shitty parts of themselves (ego levels) and no mother fucker on the planet wants to hear that. But that is love because love is only honesty.

          But besides all that spiritual shit, what I'm trying to say is your happiness is your own personal responsibility, not hers. And the same goes for her.

          You walk side by side while you each find that on your own and don't ever lean on the other person for it indefinitely, because they can't ever give you what you are looking for. Only you can.

          First I would share with her thay you're unhappy. Tell her the fucking truth despite what might befall. But do it calmly, carefully and sincerely. This is real love. Next, tell her you want to be better and you want her to be better and love herself more too.

          You both need to take a step back. Insert some distance between you and the relationship so you can find passion, interest and meaning in yourself first. You then bring that passion, love and excitement for being who you are to the relationship! You bring it so that in times of need, when she is not her best, she can borrow from you. And when you are not your best, you can borrow from her.

          This is loving yourself first, so that you can then love others. This is the only way a relationship can or will ever work properly. GL op.

          [–]IveRedditAllNight 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Well, got damn it! We got ourselves a Dr. love here! Impressive and highly articulate.

          [–]recursoinominado 12 points13 points  (5 children)

          Hey, nobody is perfect, right? You seems like a good guy, husband and father, i can only imagine the weights you carry on your shoulders to keep your family running smooth. Even if she is kind of bitchy (she has her own insecurities, i am sure that she also noticed her "change" and it's scared about it), you have to be on top of your game as a captain to not succumb to the resentment and other lower sentiments.

          [–]SKRedPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Look OP, only you can bring in some positive thinking or emotion into your life. You talk of provider, provider, provider, but you never say attractive, attractive, attractive. Being a provider and being an attractive man are two very different things.

          What have you done to make yourself attractive and more abundant? Are you happy and uplifted just as a way of being, rather than letting the world dictate it?

          You're the man, the sun, shining on its own light, the problem can only be solved by you. Your wife isn't gonna just bring in the abundance on her own, she isn't strong enough for that. The moon has no light of its own. It reflects the sun.

          [–]soulmysold 70 points71 points  (17 children)

          Beauty for a women with age depends on genetics mostly, but also how well she takes care of herself. I have a friend who is 50 and still looks like she’s mid 20’s. She exercises, eats healthy, and is always in a good mood. She told me after her fifth kid that women at church would belittle her and tell her “why do you keep trying, just stop worrying about looks, you’re a mother now.” That’s the kind of mentality that is disgusting, when lazy people drag you down out of jealously.

          [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 56 points57 points  (10 children)

          There’s no way in hell that a 50 year old women who’s had 5 kids looks mid 20s. Jesus dude cmon. At least tell a believable lie.

          [–]Atheist_Utopia 13 points14 points  (1 child)

          It's true. The extremely rare outliers exist, as I've seen in my neighbourhood.

          [–]Casanova-Quinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I'm sure your friend looks good for 50, but stand her next to an actual 25 year old and the difference will be obvious.

          [–]MasculineHapa[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

          I doubt she looks like she is in her mid-twenties, but I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. The more important question is: have you ever seen this friend naked? Because my wife also looks cute still... at first glance. That fifty year old, once naked, likely would not arouse you. Certainly wouldn't arouse me as I don't have a thing for grannies. No offense bro.

          [–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard 277 points278 points  (44 children)

          The only chance a woman has to have a decent body post baby is if she lifts weights, as in real lifting with programmed complexes. Cardio bunnies become flat asses and flappy arms.

          Maintain frame, set the example, point your woman to the squat rack, and thank yourself later. Or send her to Crossfit. Those bitches are hnnnggggg.

          Source: dude with a lot of kids and a wife with a soft 6 pack

          [–]kappakai 44 points45 points  (3 children)

          This. I dated a woman, late 30s, mother of three. Her body was amazing. Small perky breasts. Tight everything. Georgia peach of an ass. Sculpted arms, ripples in her back. Beyond toned, but not weightlifter physique either.

          She worked out religiously. At least two classes per day. She started working out when her and her ex-husband started to distance, and working out was her way of avoiding him. Which was great for me for about two years.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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            [–]Casanova-Quinn 20 points21 points  (1 child)

            Most women are "blown out" because they don't have a diet/exercise regimen. Most of them could look a lot better if they actually tried. Some may need a little plastic surgery for loose skin or breasts, but proper diet/exercise will fix the majority of body issues.

            [–]Youngyoda89 40 points41 points  (14 children)

            Incred! How do you sculpt your wife a big bootie?

            [–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard 168 points169 points  (12 children)

            Start with a woman that’s willing to workout hard and train smart.....

            Now that you have eliminated 99.9999% of women, tell her to do squats, split squats, deads, and lunges.

            [–]Morphs_ 46 points47 points  (6 children)

            Yeah this is the problem. Most women immediately feel offended when you even consider her body to be a problem. An ex of mine was too lazy to work out. Only when I would coach her 1on1, and even then it was always an uphill battle, as if I was the only one who wanted her to work out. But meanwhile I still had to listen to the nagging about her weight and I was expected to compliment her looks so she would feel good about her lazy self.

            Oh and my SMV was too high, which made her self conscious in bed and thus reserved in her actions. So basically things would be even better for her if I were to get a bit more out of shape. Like that's going to happen..

            That stuff puts you in a very hard position as a man. The woman tries to make a man overstep his own personal boundaries, effectively lie to himself and her about what he wants and likes. Needless to say, things didn't work out between her and me.

            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            But meanwhile I still had to listen to the nagging about her weight and I was expected to compliment her looks so she would feel good about her lazy self.

            Dude this. I had an ex like this. She gained weight during our 2.5 year relationship but had never really been happy with her body the whole time. I'm like if you are disgusted with yourself every time you look in the mirror, why don't you just fix the fucking problem? Oh that's right, because she was too tired from her stupid fucking white collar career that no man gives a shit about. God this society is so backwards.

            [–]DonHayada 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            I'd say part of it is giving her time, too. Picking up more slack around the house so that she has an additional 2 hours to workout. It's gonna be busy everyone.

            [–]karmicillusion 255 points256 points  (36 children)

            I think there’s something to be said for marrying a less attractive or slightly plump girl if you’re going to get married. Of my friends wives, the most pleasant and beautiful now are the ones that weren’t as hot to begin with. They still appreciate you more and feel like they’re lucky to have you, because they know what looks like to be staring loneliness in the face. They also don’t feel like they cashed in their chips for you because they’re not accustomed to the feeling of unlimited spending potential that copious amounts of male attention from all directions can create.

            [–]SuperCrazy07 188 points189 points  (12 children)

            I think there’s something to be said for marrying a less attractive or slightly plump girl

            My buddy's grandfather said it best. "If you're gonna marry, marry the least attractive woman you don't mind waking up next to."

            [–]Selexus 62 points63 points  (5 children)

            In theory....yeah,but... Having done just that it was a fucking disaster. My fault..... but a train wreck of a relationship. Going in I had zero RP knowledge and therefore totally missed the blatant red flags. I failed to manage her in any (RP) recognised way. As soon as the kids arrived, her personality disordered mind painted me as the enemy in her home. No sex for 6 years, all my money spent, whilst hers was saved to a secret account. Finally bailed after my doctor diagnosed clinical depression. It was literally life or death for me. I chose life. Still fighting her in court 3 years later. I chose her because I thought she'd make a great mother.....I was partially correct. But my ignorance cost me everything, including my health. The red pill is a wonderful gift kids. Use it or you're playing Russian roulette with a full loaded gun.

            [–]recursoinominado 19 points20 points  (0 children)

            Tough story, hope you are strong again.

            [–]Atheist_Utopia 34 points35 points  (0 children)

            Damn. Wise words from the old man.

            [–]alucidexit 91 points92 points  (12 children)

            🎶if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

            Never make a pretty woman your wife

            So from my personal point of view

            Get an ugly girl to marry you🎶

            [–]MarinTaranu 51 points52 points  (4 children)

            An ugly RICH girl to marry you.

            [–]hewieRD 8 points9 points  (3 children)

            I’d imagine wealth has its complications as well

            [–]MarinTaranu 16 points17 points  (0 children)

            But far fewer than poverty.

            [–]Shaney96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            Cheers - that song made my day.

            [–]meme_poacher 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            but want if I want to have beautiful babies

            [–]delemental 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I've seen two fugly people have beautiful kids. It will work out, I'm sure

            [–]m4rkm4n 4 points5 points  (2 children)

            Also beauty fades. If her hot body is the only thing that makes you like/love her, don't bother. Look for a woman you want to fuck but is also fun to be around. An actual friend.

            [–]zephixleer 82 points83 points  (1 child)

            TRP has become this dumping-ground for absolute trash. Crying about how your wife doesn't look the same as she did when she was 18. No shit?! And she calls you names? Sounds to me like she hurt your feelings and you got on here to talk shit about her.

            TRP should be telling you to man the fuck up and take control of your marriage. Either do that or divorce her with a good lawyer. Stop being a child and crying about her on the internet.

            TRP mentality about marriage, assuming you're in one that you filtered through red-pill theory, should be to be a damn man and control the marriage. Apply what you've learned, your status of being awake to the ways of women, your mental fortitude and your fitness; apply those to keeping her in line. If she's bitching at you about being lazy, there's something wrong and it's absolutely your fault. Either you've been a lazy ass and she's calling you on your bullshit, or she's being a bitch for some reason. Either she has a mental disorder or she has some legitimate issue that you, as her husband, can fix. And if you cant, again, get a good lawyer and move on. No, it's not easy but it's better than devolving to some trash-person who belittles her on the fucking internet.

            [–]Azevse 19 points20 points  (0 children)

            This x1000. You don't like it ? Recognize if it's something you can do something about, and then either change it or move the fuck on.

            [–]ImportantWords 263 points264 points  (31 children)

            I am married currently. And I have to say, never again. Complete 180 once she got that ring. Relationships should have a shelf life.

            [–]grewapair 334 points335 points  (14 children)

            I noticed that 180 before the wedding and noped the fuck out ten days before the blessed event. She figured she no longer had to put on the act, because I was fully committed. Boy was she wrong.

            [–]Aurazai 174 points175 points  (3 children)

            One of the golden rules for relationships, for business negotiations, for anything: Always be willing to walk away. And in the case of relationships, it's the only leverage you have.

            [–]Fazee_CS 9 points10 points  (1 child)

            I agree with that. If you're willing to walk away you don't have to put up with the bs. I told my gf we will never get married by the government or have a wedding. We can get married in a church alone (no documents) and I will buy you a $50 ring but I'm never putting up with bs, I don't mind being single.

            [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 120 points121 points  (0 children)

            Holy fuck, username checks out. Nice save.

            [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

            I saw it too. Still went ahead, but divorced a year after. Clean divorce with no damages, but still.

            [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 114 points115 points  (7 children)

            Relationships should have a shelf life.

            They do. Marriage doesn't. That's the shit deal of it.

            [–]Politikr 42 points43 points  (6 children)

            Because it's a contractual agreement, the terms of which are not known to either party. Prenuptial kind of softens the blow, but it's much easier going in, than out.

            [–]Interceox 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            It’s mostly the legal repercussions of divorce. Marriage is a legal responsibility. No more, no less.

            [–]RatMan29 40 points41 points  (1 child)

            Relationships are like jobs. You don't necessarily need to keep them short, but you do need to keep your options open and check out the market regularly. It's amazing how well this keeps your existing gf (or boss) from taking you for granted.

            [–]macalpinerules 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            IDK man, everything you've described sounds like a standard marriage: wife loses shape after bearing multiple children, sex drives goes down, she becomes annoying etc. A responsible man has to know this will happen and make a tough decision on whether or not the difficulty of marriage is worth the prize of having your own family.

            [–]IRunYourRiver 50 points51 points  (26 children)

            How old is your youngest? My wife bounced back big time when our youngest turned about 5. A lot of other fucked up shit happened simultaneously, but her body found its full woman form. The sex is getting better, but lots of other things aren't as good. Which is why I'm on TRP, lol.

            Given that we haven't completely destroyed marriage yet, I think it's wise to be realistic about the advice on this sub. The RP'd ones have a huge advantage, but more than likely they will experience the messed up things about long-term companionship too. The difference is how they may be able to respond and keep their expectations in check.

            [–]Gobraves44 8 points9 points  (23 children)

            What’s an acceptable n count for a married woman? Did you marry young?

            [–]DTreatz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

            They won't answer you so I will, the best N count is 0, always has been.

            ​There is also data that supports this.

            [–][deleted]  (48 children)

            [removed]

            [–]MasculineHapa[S] 67 points68 points  (6 children)

            You really should. Because for women aging well is a dangerous illusion. They don't. In Hollywood they praise these women who maintain their looks until middle age and beyond, but they never mention the amount of make up artiststry, photoshopping skills and plastic surgery that goes along with this defiance of age. The vast majority of women will age badly. Even that hot, amazing, wonderful soulmate you may one day encounter... hers, too, will fade. People underestimate how much impact this has all the time.

            [–]the99percent1 10 points11 points  (5 children)

            The word is youthful exuberance.

            You cant be 30 years old and youthful the same way an 18 year old can. Law of physics and mother nature just doesn't compute.

            [–]barrignite17 44 points45 points  (17 children)

            How about not getting married? I’m 39, and I’ve decided not to. Why bother? It adds nothing. Improves nothing. It’s just an illusionary status that costs tens of thousands and makes you no less secure in your relationship.

            Why do people feel obligated?!

            [–]IClogToilets 14 points15 points  (6 children)

            Because most people want to have kids and kids do better in a two person married household.

            [–]snuffpornwithgrandma 37 points38 points  (6 children)

            Society does not currently have a palatable alternative to a monogamous lifestyle in your midlife to elder years. Being a 50 year old bachelor is a lonely lifestyle regardless of how much pussy youre getting and that's Snapple facts

            [–]DTreatz 29 points30 points  (0 children)

            Being alone and being lonely are two different things. If you can't enjoy solitude, you can't enjoy freedom.

            [–]triavatar 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            It absolutely adds to the potential of the human race when powerful people choose to have powerful children.

            [–]kylerosa21 19 points20 points  (6 children)

            Aim to settle down in mid to late 30s. Be careful with marriage though - it’s more of an institution than a union. Take appropriate precautions if you choose to get married because it becomes a mess if you divorce.

            Also. Don’t marry a Western woman. Do yourself that favor at least

            [–]SomeoneBehindThePC 6 points7 points  (3 children)

            I hate seeing this advice thrown around here. Men above 30 have a significantly greater risk of producing autistic offspring than younger fathers, which is nothing any of us want to be doing.

            [–]marian5567 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            Getting married????? You missed the WHOLE point dude.

            [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 36 points37 points  (4 children)

            Usually in MRP we give guys one victim puke.

            That would have been yours. Question to ask yourself. Why does she treat you like shit?

            Either you are, or because you put up with it. You can work on both fronts.

            [–]3LiveAFTSOV 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            good summary there ol chap

            [–]n124up 28 points29 points  (2 children)

            This post made me realize how disgusting humans are.

            [–]Theguygotgame777 98 points99 points  (13 children)

            In Japan, they used to let a man have one wife, but as many consorts as he could afford. The wife to have his heirs and keep his home, and his consorts to actually please him. They fucking knew about all this, but they just discarded it.

            [–]radixaf 33 points34 points  (11 children)

            Not just Japan but many cultures through time have done this. Still the case in parts of europe and Australia (see prosititution). The only difference is its been commercialized there

            [–]uniqueeleni 25 points26 points  (8 children)

            As a European, prostitution is legal in some countries yes, and several married men visit brothers, but most of the times the wife doesn't know about that. It is not socially acceptable.

            [–]OPTIMUSL1ME 27 points28 points  (1 child)

            You are a fucking retard for one. Good on you for getting married and not ditching, raising your kids and the like, but this entire story - you're telling it like you were a passenger and not a driver. Did you want any of these kids or are you just pounding away mindlessly and then going "welp there's another one." I'm over here literally squinting my eyes and shaking my head because I am absolutely baffled at how you didn't realize that having kids is bad for women's aesthetics and then decided to have 3 of them. Then again it sounds like you didn't decide at all, she did. This whole post reeks of a need to reel in your woman, especially the part about her personality going south. Though, you clearly only care about this girl's looks and did from the start, so why did you do something to deplete that?

            "I know what goes on here" do you? The entirety of TRP is more or less manipulation. If you are of the belief that you're a victim of circumstance, that you were cucked by an act of god, by mother nature, I give you the pity you were seeking when you wrote this post.

            [–]crazyfoxxx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            I don't know. My parents have been married for 25 years now. Clearly both have aged but my Mom has aged quite gracefully. She doesnt drink. She does intermittent fasting regularly, and looks at least ten to fifteen years younger than women of her same age. She's not a person with a 20 year olds body but clearly better than most women her age. She did go under the knife for my Dad though and came out looking even better.

            I would say their marriage is pretty good. They do fight, but I actually like having married parents in a reasonably happy relationship. Honestly if somebody told me that my life could be like my parents after marriage, I would consider it a good bargain even if my wife didn't look like a Playboy model when she was forty

            Having said that, I can't see finding a girl like my Mom today though. My Dad clearly runs the show in our house. My mom cooks well and despite being well educated decided to put her career second when it came to raising me and my sibling. She lets my Dad do the manly stuff, run the home finances and consults him on all major decisions. I can't see today's girls doing anything she does for her man

            When i think about that, it makes me a little sad. I see what could have been for me, but don't see it happening. Also I don't know if it is because of my family situation but I have slightly right of center political views. Maybe being brought up in what would be called a patriarchal family influenced my views?

            As a kid, I am glad my Dad didn't just run from one pretty woman to the other and stuck with my Mom. I think he would have been a very sad man today if he had run after sex only. I also appreciate that my Mom kept herself beautiful within the boundaries set by nature and was a good wife to him

            They have built a good life together and have raised us well.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

            [–]climaxingplatypus 14 points15 points  (3 children)

            If your daughter was never in the picture would you still remain with your wife?

            [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 108 points109 points  (28 children)

            I think too many men are NOT aware of what pregnancy and motherhood does to a woman's body. It completelt fucks it up. Ruins it.

            She didn't 'bounce back' anymore it seems

            Especially if she packs on a few pounds of lard too. Alternating fat with dieting isn't gonna be too great for a body.

            Behavior-wise, she got fucking mean

            Yeah. Happens when women have security, options and control.

            At thirty I look better than I ever did. I'm fitter, more in shape, more muscular and overall more attractive than I was when I first married. But my wife is but a shell of her former self.

            And yet she's the one being abusive to you.

            She does it because she can. You're loyal. You have restricted your own options with your loyalty - and she has lost all respect for you because of it. Not that you have any choice if you want to keep your children.

            [–][deleted]  (8 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]recursoinominado 12 points13 points  (1 child)

              It's a ego defense mechanism. OP started to show signs of "wanting to GTFO" and she is trying to do it first so she feels that the power is on her hands. "He is giving up on me? NO, I am giving up on HIM! Who he thinks he is? I can't possibly be flawed". I had a chance to see it first hand on my last LTR, i started to act distant and lack sexual desires for my ex (who was crazy about me until then) and she quickly got distant herself and bailed out of the relationship. Women can't take rejection.

              [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 6 points7 points  (5 children)

              and misses the days when he was the romantic beta filling her with comforting emotions.

              I think she misses being able to respect him because he could walk away. Now he has shown deep commitment, and this kills respect.

              I still don't think it's too late for OP if he really wants to stop living a life of regrets, though

              Most men prioritise their children over their sex life

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              On your last point, I'd say that's a good thing, yeah?

              [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              It's good for children and it's good for women. It kinds sucks for men.

              But yes, it's good that we care about our children. I wish our women and our laws rewarded men for this rather than punishing them for it.

              [–]letter_of_resignatio 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              And maybe she was/is shallow person too, and now that she's not that attractive she became bitter and angry.

              [–]diffines 12 points13 points  (1 child)

              Ok, that’s your marriage. But let’s look at this another way. You guys stay together despite her skinny ass and low hanging fruit. You get a little older, you get fuckin cancer. Your wife takes you to your doctors, she cleans up your piss and vomit, she puts you to bed, feeds you, your kids help you up and visit you, they sit with you cause you’re so fuckin sick you just wanna die. They’re company. Versus- you divorce her skinny ass, you have a stroke, you end up alone, nobody gives a shit, no kids around, you fall and break your leg, you lie there for days and die there alone, but at least you didn’t need to see a bitch around that got a little saggy. You ain’t gonna be 28 forever. Maybe make it work. I know someone here is gonna say divorce and get a hotter younger bitch. I say- more baggage or just different baggage and the potential for worse shit down the road. Make it work. You can’t change reality all the time, or even most of the time.

              [–]WestyWorld 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Yeah I guess this is why a lot of old married men always say “find a girl with a good personality, looks fade”. Eye-opening post.

              [–]grandmazboy 34 points35 points  (1 child)

              Thank you for your honesty brave man. Hang in there.

              [–]anticultured 30 points31 points  (1 child)

              Man, I got married at 50 for the first time. I’m 51 now. My wife was in the best shape of her life. Six pack abs and all. Has two grown girls, 18, and 21. Nice as can be. I really think it’s okay to get married at this age, I’m rounding third base and headed for home plate. At 20, way too young... I banged hundreds of chics in my 20s and 30s. Many tried to lock me down, but I always saw that trap, long before this website and sub existed. I have no kids, but I’m okay with that. I wish you luck. I say, separate if it’s what will make you happy. You only got one life.

              [–]ShimaRoosman 18 points19 points  (0 children)

              I'm surprised this has so many upvotes. Sounds like you're pissed at the world because your wife isn't as attractive anymore. What sort of a shallow asshat are you? Will you be mad at her if she doesn't like your receding hair line in a few years time?

              Be a man, and get on with it. If you don't want to be with her, then get a divorce, but you can't bag on at her just because her body has changed after having 3 children. All of which by the way, you played a part in creating, you didn't have to keep sticking it in her and busting your load.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

              [–]sh1ftyswar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              this fucking excellent mate

              [–]flyalpha56 39 points40 points  (3 children)

              Thanks for the warning cuzzo. Just focus on giving your kids the best life possible, don’t worry about the whiny bitch.

              Some optimism for you... maybe when she hits 35-40 she will hit a milf stage and her body will come back a little bit.

              The tits prob won’t get better without going under the knife tho... I fucked a 38 year old (i was 23) on a business trip last summer in San Diego and her tits were saggy as fuck. Nipples all wrinkled and shit... it was weird considering I had just recently graduated and went from fucking 19-22 year olds to that haha.

              [–]Gobraves44 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              So what happened between kid 1 and 2/3? After kid 1 it sounded ok. Was it just age?

              [–]c_megalodon25 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              I believe women have an identity crisis after kids that men will never truly understand. We are always up for sex. We are always wanting to work, and we are always interested in doing fun things. Being a father is simply another part of who we are just like taking up guitar (although definitely more important and permanent!!) With women, they fight with the identity of being a sexy and desirable woman and being a mommy. It completely stresses them out and they take it out on us even if it isn't justified. They hate their new body that is leaking milk, and has stretch marks. While we men will always like the perfect supermodel, we did knock up our wives and should be accepting of at least some changes...not gaining 150 pounds, but the normal shit.

              They also seem to have resentments toward us about our different parenting style. They can't see that ours works too. They resent us for not being perfect parents even though many of us are pretty fucking good dads. Sucks, I know.

              [–]sheilayar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Dude stfu and get your life together. Not only have you cheated on your wife with a highschool student but you also have an illegitimate child with another women (look at his other posts). Sounds to me like you're extremely irresponsible and just plain stupid.

              [–]celtype 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              You're honestly pathetic.

              Married man with children obsessing over pussy like a teenager. Jesus christ man.

              Maybe if you weren't such a simp your wife wouldn't treat you like shit.

              Here you are, whining about how much you hate your wife's body on the internet. Then you blame her for treating you like shit.

              Act your age. You aren't single. You aren't 20 years old. Be a man.

              And if anyone wants to say "blah blah TRP is about focusing on yourself!!!"

              If you put your own WANTS ahead of your children's needs you are human garbage. End of story.

              [–]conflagratorX 18 points19 points  (4 children)

              At least you banged her through her prime years. Many men wife up post wall slut which gives her first birth during her 30. Which has even more disastrous effect on women looks.

              [–]triavatar 25 points26 points  (3 children)

              She hates you because she WAS hot, and your baby fucked that over completely. Do you blame her?

              Do you think she doesn't realize that you think she's disgusting now? If she were to find your account and read this post. I bet you she wouldn't be in the least bit surprised.

              YOU decided to have multiple babies with her. That's what cucked you, not the marriage.

              edit: multiple babies, not just one. Jesus man.

              [–]MaximumSeven 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              The wall takes no prisoners

              [–]SeeminglyBlue 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              “love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.”

              your situation is a result of falling in love with her body, not her head. trust me when i say that while her body changes, she does not. i doubt this will get better. your best solution right now would be counseling to see if you can sort this knot out, and if you cannot, then divorce. you will save yourself and her a lot of trouble later in the line. you are still young, as is she; there is an entire flock of birds waiting outside your nest. all it takes is a little push.

              [–]Bestoftherest222 45 points46 points  (2 children)

              As a female loses her assets she lashes out. This is a common theme. She gets more and more miserable losing her only asset, and she gets mad at everyone else.

              99% of women have no personality and only identify themselves on how they look. Losing looks is like us men losing our penis, money, and future all at once.

              [–]Luftiwaffe 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              one question: do you totally regret it?

              [–]ApostateAZ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              People shouldn’t get married until they are in their late 20s to early 30s. People change too much before that age.

              My wife had her body destroyed after our first and only child, but she is an amazing wife and pretty much has sex whenever I want. We have been together for over 10 years.

              Getting her a tummy tuck next year, at her request, to fix what my son did.

              [–]Tannedmonkey 10 points11 points  (1 child)

              If you want I can fuck her for you.

              [–]MasculineHapa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              And why would you even want that, after reading my description?

              [–]kjlh9 11 points12 points  (3 children)

              Does she go to the gym? If she puts no effort in i'd ask to open the relationship or bite the bullet and divorce. You're in your prime and as a great man once said, yolo

              [–]downtownMalone09 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Uh what did you expect? Did you think she was going to gain 70lbs, shit out a 5lb baby two or three times and then go back to the original state? Lol.

              [–]Samatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              You state, "And yet I was cucked, not by any other man, but by Mother Nature itself." I can honestly say I'd never thought of it like this and thanks for mentioning it. I just hope that the first child was yours since you didn't get a paternity test then you would of been cucked by nature and your wife!

              [–]DonkeyD13K 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              5 love languages, this turned my marriage around after very, very similar circumstances.

              [–]newbornredditor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Hello OP. I'm very curious to hear what were the circumstances of the 2nd and 3rd pregnancy. Did you plan them or were they the "oops! It just happened" type of situation. Did you want to have more than just one child with that woman?

              [–]EnzoGold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Does she even go to the gym? Cause that's clearly a factor too

              [–]tiny10boy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              A woman will only look as good and be as kind as is required by her environment.

              [–]bastardstepchild 11 points12 points  (1 child)

              Yeah - and the older and fatter they get, the LESS they appreciate that you keep putting up with their shit.

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

              I think we should discuss the whole having kids thing wrecking a woman’s body more. You said it yourself, your first one wasn’t planned, what was the point of having the second?

              [–]187oddfuture 43 points44 points  (21 children)

              Wtf is this, the blue pill subreddit? Why are any of you retards in the comments saying: “Oh, great reminder oh wise 30-something. I’ll have my fun BEFORE I GET MARRIED.”? Fuck that noise. Don’t get married, period. Zero benefits. Zero. If you value kids more than you value your freedom and your livelihood, then I’ll show you your chains. Marriage is the worst deal you could ever take, and learn from OP. Don’t get married, fucking bloops.

              [–]lll_lll_lll 29 points30 points  (11 children)

              I would say there is definitely potential benefit to marriage, but it doesn’t really kick in until you become elderly. Who really wants to be alone with no family when they are 70? Who will care about you then?

              We will not all stay in our 30s and 40s forever. Do you want to be the old guy still going out to clubs and bars? Or just keep to yourself in solitude at that point?

              I have no desire to get married or have kids, but I will wish when I am old to have a little granddaughter to take to the park. It will probably be a very lonely stage of life without it.

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]the99percent1 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                Well, i think raising a kid is one of life greatest joy and experience.

                [–]InvariantD 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                Don Draper: The reason you haven't felt it is because it doesn't exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons. You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But Inever forget.

                [–]187oddfuture 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                What happens when your wife divorce rapes you right before you retire and leaves you with nothing? It’s just not worth it dude.

                [–]3LiveAFTSOV 15 points16 points  (6 children)

                Dont forget all the "Vanguards" of this Sub, GayLubeOil... Rollo Tomassi... other EC's.

                Dont forget the majority of them are married / have been in monogamous LTRs for many years.

                [–]BitsAndBobs304 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                "Show me a married man and ill show you a man with no opinions" - Scott Adams, Dilbert book

                [–]DJTrapMatic 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                OP you need to stop having sex with a woman you’ve become unattracted to, Grows some balls and tell her no. If she asks tell her you can no longer become aroused when you see her naked. Sorry

                [–]CavityX 27 points28 points  (1 child)

                Bruh you're fucking retarded if that's your strat.

                I know this is the internet and you don't have to actually have any bearing on what you advise; but, you're fucking retarded.

                Approaching OP's situation like this will only result in meltdown. Wife's feelings aside, OP has to consider how his actions affect his family and kids, that's what being a man is. Not trying to be hard on Reddit.

                To OP, be a man and talk to her about lifting/fitness. If you are fit like you say it should be easy peasy. Don't beat around the bush about her looks, But at the same time don't let that be your only reason. Make it about being healthy for the kids, being sexy for eachother, instilling good habits etc.

                Your gal knows she isn't as sexy as she once was, but if you make that the linchpin of your talk, she's going to hamster it back around on you. She needs to know that you want to be attracted to her again (assuming you want to continue the relationship)

                [–]rebelde_sin_causa 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                I recently dated a gal in her late 30s with 3 kids who has the body of a playboy model. She's a triathlete with fake boobs. Works out constantly. Great tan. So they do exist. But she's not fit to be anything better than a plate. Same old story. "My ex husband abused me." I have it on good authority some of the bruises she showed to the police related to that were put there by her.

                [–]MasculineHapa[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                She's a triathlete with fake boobs.

                Some men are into that, me, it's a major turn-off. I love the naturally perky tits of a young girl or woman. Past a certain age it's all down hill, kids or no kids. Plastic does little for me.

                [–]Radkin007 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Attraction is paramount my man. If you or she is not attracted to the other, it is destined to fail. It’s not rocket surgery, it’s a pretty obvious thing. Most women actually don’t want marriage now a days as they have been masculinized by the female-social economic imperative. The best thing, psychologically for you would be to divorce before the pressure surmounts to a breaking point. The best thing financially would be to divorce when the kids are out of the house. Women can’t love the way a man sees love. They love in a weird pseudo-twisted way, relying on emotion in the moment, rather then past experience and memories as men do.

                I have not fully deciphered this concept and I fear I may never, as I am not a woman and can not fathom how their cranium organ works to a fault, this is not to say they all work an exact way but rather a generalization.

                [–]alphatom63 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                How old is she after the babies?

                [–]volvostupidshit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                At least you did not marry a woman with BPD, OP. Lmao. You could have tripled your misery.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                looks-wise you made a deal. you trade her good looks for your children. this seems a honest deal.

                what is totally avoidable is her behaviour, this i cannot explain.

                [–]TruthSeekaaaaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                For me, the scariest part is not the decaying woman but the thought of living a life along with a person you don't like anymore.

                [–]Hyper_Sonik 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Sounds like my baby mamma to a T. But now she wants to be a "dancer" because nobody "pays attention" to her. Has a nasty attitude and high expectations. Thinks her shit don't stink. We're not together. Once in a while we fuck and last time I made her dripping wet. It was weird. It's cinfusing.
                I think she thinks some "prince charming" is going to sweep her up and take on our 2 children. Or that her ticket to salvation and riches is becoming a stripper. Crazy because I've known her since we were 15. I'm 31 and she was always a "good girl"....I am reminded of rollos article "making up for missing out".

                [–]TryhardPantiesON 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Hey OP, have you ever suggested she exercise or have a cosmetic surgery to repair her body? Like, a breast lift, breast enlargment, fix the saggy belly, etc. Maybe the reason she is mean to you is because she no longer feels attractive and she notices your lack of attraction to her.

                Think about it, it's like investing some money on an old car that you want to keep for your whole life, to make it look nice.

                Not white knighting, but you seem to have a solid relationship, just lacking lust for each other, so I think it would be worth trying to repair the relationship on that regard.

                [–]dobbekz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I think this happens in most marriages and it's not just the wife looking worse a lot of time the guy will look like shit to, once people have a partner and they get married they just get complacent and no longer put in the effort.

                [–]etherealembryo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I needed this. Good luck soldier the fight never ends.

                [–]casual_redditor_01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Best read thread in awhile...

                [–]Idontwatchtv1986 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Thanks for posting. My mom once told me if you want to know how a woman ages, look at her mom.

                [–]JustinDell990 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Marriage/children is the biggest trap there is. You're a fool for falling for the hype.

                [–]Starfuckingman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                Why don't you get her to workout and keep it as a lifestyle so she maintains at least half of her former self and not end up like this.

                [–]wobbleelbbow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I suspect OP doesn't work out himself.. If you know what I mean

                [–]goldaxis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Why do you think she has become mean?

                Raising kids really is tough. Losing your attractiveness takes a big mental toll on anyone too. You're never getting your perky little 20yo minx back, but you can have a better relationship if you can manage to cooperate and build each other up instead of showing such open disgust for each other. Get her in on your fitness time. Buy a really good home gym if you have to. TRP rules don't really matter after you have three kids.

                [–]makethemflaunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Hey dude. I want to give you some personal feedback after going through a similar situation.

                This really worked for me. Try it out and see how you feel.

                I was also going through a phase of "oh fuck, what have I done?" I was no longer physically attracted to my SO at a level that I determined to be acceptable. So I developed a new goal. My aim was to build sexual tension in the relationship, even though I was no longer finding my SO to be that attractive. I rationalized that I needed that sexual tension in order to *want* to get better, to improve myself, and to look forward to sex, rather than to just do it because it was there.

                I instituted a regimen of looking at soft porn (no penetration; no sex; just beautiful female models, a la FemAngels or FemJoy) for no more than 10 minutes each morning, and then not masturbating or having sex.

                Within about a week, I was really amped up and starting to look at my SO differently, and starting to feel differently too. I could feel tension rise up within me. I used that tension within me to build sexual tension between the two of us. After about a week, I allowed sex again.

                I kept up the soft porn viewing habit for several weeks and then naturally stopped. That was several months ago.

                As I elevated the tension between us, she got more attractive both objectively (because she started to get more fit and more submissive, responding to the increased tension), and subjectively, from my own point of view (because I was hornier). The results seem to have lasted.

                At last check in, there was a very pretty girl, about 10 years younger, who was presenting the opportunity for a one-time cheating. And I did not consider it for more than a couple minutes :-) My rel with my girl is too valuable to give up on at this point, when I weigh the balance of my particular situation.

                However, all of that said, if you don't find your girl to be enjoyable to be with, because she's mean and you can't find your way to getting her back in line, then you're in trouble and you may need to get out. All the tools in this sub, however, should be able to help you get that under control, driving her to be both less mean and also take better care of her body.

                But again, if the work isn't worth the effort, if you feel like you will get more meaning and satisfaction out of life not being in the relationship, like the world will be a better place for it, then god speed.

                In either case, best of luck.

                [–]dDiegoDLV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                You're with a gf that is both not attractive to you and a bitch? GTFO

                Sounds like you're a good dad. Maybe you can get 1/2 custody. (Maybe there are social media posts form her talking about what a great dad you are? if so save them)

                All the divorce stuff TRP warns about is real. If you are as unhappy as you sound in this post it is going to end within a few years anyway when you are so miserable you cant take it any more. Might as well plan your exit. Good Luck.

                [–]Lateralanouncer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Look bro. I went through This worked my but off and wanted to take a brake after slaving my ass off for a decade. She divorced me 3 months after. Woman do not give a shit about us men. She doesn’t value you, your time what you provide, anything you have to offer. She will drop you in a heart beat and be supported by everyone, while you are the bad guy. loose your job, what ever, your done, out the door sleeping in your car. My good friend broke both his legs and had to spend 4 months in hospital, his wife hired a baby sitter went clubbing and jumped on a few cocks while he was in hospital she didn’t care they had kids she didn’t work.

                Other comments on this sub have advised u to suck it up u made the decision. I believe that is a double standard. You need to use your time wisely, be prepared for divorce and test if she will stay through a hard financial situation, assuming you are the man of the house and have your shit together.

                Your life is your life.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Do not buy the entire Wal-Mart corporation because you like Wal-Mart brand cereal.

                Do not marry because you want the sex.

                [–]TheCreatorOfCritical 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                So do you not like what's beneath her surface enough to justify her body being destroyed by children as expected? Seems like you just married a trophy wife with about as much personality as yourself if all you have to complain about is her looks? What about her? Is she a bitch or is she kind and loving? That's where the magic is. Every dime turns into a nickel man.

                [–]JimmyJoeJr2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Gotta say fairplay for telling it like it is and not holding back or sugar-coating.

                [–]waverlyposter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Hint: Choosing the right women is THE most important decision you make in your life. Fuck it up and you will be in hell for a long time.

                [–]posyjosie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Imagine hating the person who helped give you your kids this much? Maybe that's why she's mean to you dude, she can tell you think she's disgusting.

                [–]StimulisRK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I can't imagine being this conceited and shallow lol. A small part of me feels bad for you - but most of me feels like you're a pussy who needs to grow tf up. I feel bad for your kids more than anything.

                [–]lucajones88 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                Also 30 and have never looked better, I honestly can’t remember the last time I met a woman my age who was attractive.

                They are out there, but their SMV is now so high because so many guys get shamed into dating women over 25 by hags that they are too much effort.

                I’ll probably date <25yo until I’m unable to hook that shit up any more.

                [–]MasculineHapa[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                Also 30 and have never looked better, I honestly can’t remember the last time I met a woman my age who was attractive.

                A lot of them DO look attractive, though. Their bra keeps their breasts looking good when you first meet them. Their make up covers the lines on their face. Their tummies look good, covered up or shown only partially, strategically... But get that 34-year old mother of 2 or even that 29 year old-divorced mother of none naked, and I bet she's nowhere near as hot as she was at 20. Just sad facts of life.

                [–][deleted]  (11 children)

                [removed]

                [–]simplisticallysimple 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                Of course women want to get married by hook or by crook. It's her only way of still retaining her man once her beauty fades; you think she'd keep you with her charming personality? No. She'd use the power of the state and hold your wealth and income ransom, so you can't leave her even after she has nothing to offer you, not even her looks.

                How many women are really confident of retaining a man's commitment just based on merit alone? This is exactly why so many women do a 180-degree face turn the moment you put a wedding ring on them. At that point, they've already achieved their goal, you're locked in legally with nowhere to run to, and they can now be as fat and bitchy as they want and be financially rewarded handsomely if you dare complain.

                This is why I don't understand men who voluntarily submit to marriage. You're born free, yet you choose to sign up for lifelong slavery and work on the plantation, putting your signature on an agreement that protects another person's interests at the expense of your own. Not only are you financially boxed in, but you can't even date other women while you're at it, so no matter how rich or successful you become, you can never upgrade without seriously jeopardizing that very newfound success. In other words, whatever financial success you obtain once you're married belongs to her.

                What kind of stupid man would work hard to succeed if they knew that whatever success that resulted from their blood and sweat can and will be taken away by another person? Why would he have the motivation to excel financially? So that his parasitic so-called "stay-at-home" wife can buy the latest Hermes bag just to compete with her girl pals who've all snagged professional (but romantically-inexperienced) spouses who're worked to death as it is?

                This is one of those mysteries of the universe that I'll never understand. Rational human beings all strive to lower their income tax rates as much as possible, yet here we have a whole class of men who choose to work like a dog only to have the majority of his earnings be spent on anyone other than himself. We're talking easily a de facto 70-80% income tax rate. Might as well be communism at that point.

                Tell me, how much of a married man's hard-earned dollar actually goes to himself? What's his REAL take-home pay? I think married men reading these don't even dare to think about these questions. It's mind-boggling.

                You lot should be ashamed of how thirsty you are. You have no self-respect, no masculine qualities whatsoever, and no common sense. Happy living an entire lifetime of self-abasement and indentured servitude. You all deserve it.

                [–]VillagersUnite 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                Good shit on keeping in shape. You would've had a hell of a worse time than you are now if you didn't.

                [–]yesbuthereswhy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                It’s really obvious that you don’t frequent married red pill. If you do then shame on you because your wife being negative is all on you. All of the readings teach it and with enough attention to detail you’ll see that your wife behaves however you let her. If your wife is negative to you it’s because she doesn’t respect you and that’s your fault for not being respectable. This wasn’t post a RP lesson. This was a glorified victim puke and nothing more.

                [–]ElloGovna_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                “My wife is ugly” that’s about all I got from this

                [–]Bojack101 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Does anybody actually believe this larp shit lmao

                [–]DTreatz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Question

                " his is a big deal to a lot of men, myself included, and I'll share these things because I think too many men are NOT aware of what pregnancy and motherhood does to a woman's body. It completelt fucks it up. Ruins it. "

                I want some scientific data if anyone has any because I'm not buying it, is there any data that says the weight women gain from pregnancy is any different than weight gained from overeating? I understand the hormones affect their biology throughout pregnancy and post-pregnancy for some time, but permanently after? I'm unconvinced, especially because I see women with kids who still look good post pregnancy, which convinces me it's more work effort, also stretch marks can be prevented if you maintain skin health throughout pregnancy

                [–]jashleyren2 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                Thank you for your honest representation of what many of us go through. This forum is great for many things, and it’s sucks at a lot. But honesty for men is one of its great attributes. A lot of us didn’t choose the married life: the married life chose us. Fair to say that women and men have totally different goals for life, lots of times. It shows as we age, and if we marry her early in lives, as I did too, you and she will change, and often in different and conflicting ways.

                However, the penalty for wanting to allow change and maintain a happy personality is court-decided, and punitive for men.

                [–]MasculineHapa[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Honesty is important, yes. That's why I kind of resent a lot of the middle aged members of this sub who keep insisting they had this FWB or this fuckbuddy or whatever who was 42 years old and totally NOT like those other girls and looked like she was 18... like, yeah, right... drop the act and stop putting unrealistic expectations in young men's heads. Especially to those who read this sub who are barely teenagers.

                [–]jinglebells89 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                I think guys could get past the physcial if it wasn't for the f*cking attitude that usually accompanies it. Think about it. How many women have you looked at and thought "this woman is ruining such a good thing by acting like a cunt".

                [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                It's called wife goggles, or why Men are aspirational lovers

                [–]WhatRemainsAfter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                If you think divorce is the way, you're wrong . You will be fucked for the rest of your life. Scars never heal properly. Forget about pleasures, you will long for a laugh a day 10 years down the line.

                Stop thinking with your dick. You think like my rabbit who just wants to fuck. Be the captain. Take control. You can change her behaviour. Go on adventures together, try new things - esp in bed. If sex is not great then it is because you are boring. Not her. Stop playing the blame game. Your life is miserable because you are the cause. You change, life changes.

                Good luck. Be wise. Don't let animal instincts lead you. Be human. We have the smartest brain in the whole universe. Use it for once. (;

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