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Field ReportIn 1991, I Was Accused of Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment in College—These Were My Mistakes (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Coach-Red-Pill

In the fall of 1991, I was accused of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

I don’t need to tell this subreddit that it was bullshit. I had met this girl, call her Alice, by chance in the common room of my dorm one Saturday afternoon in September. We hung out the whole afternoon, and ended up at her dorm that night, making out hot and heavy.

She wanted to have sex—but I didn’t because there was something about her which I thought was a little bit off. Besides that, I had other (better) prospects, and I didn’t want to get tied down to someone I wasn’t that interested in.

She got pouty when I turned her down for sex, so I sweet-talked her with bullshit about wanting to get to know her better, how we’d hang out and do more stuff together at a later date, blah-blah-blah. She seemed mollified, so I figured, “All good.”

I left her place and went back to my dorm—and I didn’t get in touch with her after that. I just found her a little weird, and besides, I was busy with other girls I liked more.

About a week later, by the student mailboxes, I was talking up one of these girls I liked more, when who should stroll by but Alice and a friend of hers.

I said, “Hi Alice!”, but she gave me a look—clearly pissed that I hadn’t called her. Even the girl I was with noticed it—and of course liked me more because of it. Because it was clearly a look of jealousy.

I forgot about Alice and continued with my life. But two weeks later, I got a notice saying that I had been formally accused of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

I was stunned when I read the letter, and read Alice’s attached photocopied statement. Handwritten by her, it claimed that I had gone to her room on Sunday—not Saturday, when we’d actually hooked up—and that I had tried to forcibly kiss her. She claimed she had pushed me away, said that I was being “selfish” for trying to kiss her, and had sent me away.

After that, she claimed that I had sent her obscene email messages. She said that she couldn’t produce these messages because she had deleted them—claiming that she had not wanted to have any of that “filth” on her computer.

This was 1991, recall. We’d just gotten our email accounts, and nobody was that sophisticated about them. Nobody realized that emails can never be deleted—and Alice certainly didn’t.

I quickly mounted a defense—and it quickly turned out that not only did the campus computer center have copies of all our emails, there hadn’t been a single one between me and Alice, let alone any obscene ones.

Furthermore, I could produce witnesses—ironically all of them women—who could swear I had been with them or in their presence at the time of this alleged sexual assault.

Alice kept changing her statement, pushing the time of our alleged encounter to later and later in the day. She changed her statement, of course, every time I produced a witness claiming I had been speaking to them at that time, and so could not have been assaulting Alice.

In her first statement, she had claimed I’d assaulted her “around lunchtime” on Sunday. In her fourth and final statement, she claimed it had happened on Sunday night—when I didn’t have an alibi.

But the changes to her various statements were so blatant—and the computer department’s conclusion that I hadn’t sent her any obscene emails was so categorical—that I figured that I was set:

There was no way anyone halfway honest could believe her.

Finally, the charge itself: The “sexual assault” was of me forcibly trying (but presumably failing) to kiss her. It just seemed ridiculous. (She completely denied that we had hung out together all of Saturday afternoon and evening, and made out at her dorm room that night.)

The whole thing seemed ridiculous—and I went into the disciplinary hearing totally convinced that, if anything, Alice would get in trouble for lying.

God I was naïve.

When I walked out of the hearing 90 minutes later, I was suspended for a full academic year.

My First Mistake: Overconfidence

Everything I said that could be proven to be true turned out to be true—and everything Alice said that could be proven to be a lie turned out to be a lie.

Precisely because the truth was on my side, I was way too overconfident. When I got to the disciplinary hearing, I was practically smiling. I wasn’t taking the situation as seriously as it warranted, because it was so obvious that the girl was lying.

The blatant way her statements changed—not to mention her outright lying about the obscene emails—all made me assume that everyone in the disciplinary committee would see that she was lying, and I was telling the truth.

It made me assume that there was nothing for me to worry about.

Fucking idiot. Me. Fucking . . . idiot.

The fact that the truth was on my side made me cocky and overconfident—and blinded me to the dangers I was walking into when I got into the disciplinary hearing.

My Second Mistake: Not Understanding the Politics of the Situation

This was back in 1991, when campus Feminism was just rearing its ugly head.

Only recently had my college instituted a Sexual Assault and Harassment Counselor position. She was the one advising Alice during the proceedings. It was this woman’s job to find men guilty. The Women’s Resource Center, which had assisted Alice during this whole process, also existed in order to find people—men—guilty.

When people’s jobs depend on finding a certain group of people guilty, they will find them guilty.

The people on the disciplinary committee—three students, three professors, and three administrators—were also more inclined to think I was guilty, because they wanted to “fight sexual assault and harassment on campus.” They didn’t want to be on the wrong side of that issue. So they were predisposed to finding me guilty for no other reason than because I had been accused—evidence be damned.

They needed to find me guilty—so that they could feel good about themselves.

My Third Mistake: Not Frightening the School’s Administration Into Being Fair

A big part of the reason for these kangaroo courts in colleges and universities is of course Title IX. This law, which was supposed to fight discrimination in college’s athletics programs, has been used by Feminists as a weapon to hurt men.

Colleges acquiesced to this because they are terrified of losing their Federal grants. That is the thing they most fear.

So for colleges and universities in the US, they are inclined to find men guilty rather than innocent—because of fear over losing Federal funding because of Title IX. Remember, sperm are cheap, but eggs are dear. Easier to get rid of a male student than a female student.

But college administrators also fear bad press. In fact, they fear negative public attention more than anything else—and if they get a call from a skeptical journalist, they positively freak out.

What I should have done was get some journalist to call the administration before the hearing. That would have put them on notice that there was awareness beyond the college campus of what was going on—and pressure to be perceived as “fair”.

Note my language: Perceived as fair.

The other thing I should have done, but in all honesty could not have done at the time because I didn’t have the resources, was to have some lawyers call up the administrators and make them aware that any finding of guilt would immediately lead to my filing a suit against the college.

Like I said, in my particular case, it was too obvious that the girl was lying her ass off. The email issue alone should have been enough to have scuttled this whole farce.

But see, the college administrators had no incentive to scuttle it.

Having a serious lawyer call up and say that there’ll be legal action immediately would have given them the incentive—and protected me.

There are a lot of ways that a college or university can quietly shut down a disciplinary hearing before it happens. If I had put legal pressure on the administration before the hearing, it likely would have been scuttled—and quite easily, in fact: Alice’s blatant lies about obscene emails that did not exist would have been enough justification. Enough CYA for the college administrators to make the whole thing go away.

But I wasn’t smart enough to do this. And I didn’t have the experience.

My Fourth Mistake: Not Lining Up Allies Before My Hearing

After the hearing—after being found guilty—I reached out to college conservatives: The Young Republicans, the conservative paper, etc.

After the hearing—after being found guilty—I reached out to lawyers and whatnot.

After the hearing—after being found guilty—I reached out to journalists, telling them my tale like the Ancient Mariner.

Too late, and stupid as well: I had already been found guilty by this kangaroo court. Even though it was a horrible miscarriage of justice, the word “Guilty” was stamped on my forehead. So none of these people could help me after the hearing.

They only could have helped me before the hearing.

See, it is much harder to repair damage than to avoid it. By being found guilty, the damage was done. My mistake was in not fighting with all I had to prevent the hearing from happening to begin with.

All’s Well That Ends Well

This story has a happy ending.

When I was suspended, I had no money, no contacts, no place to go. But I quickly talked my way into a job in D.C., found a place to live (a basement apartment in a suburb outside the city), and generally got my shit together.

Best thing that ever happened to me. I realized how resourceful and determined I could be when the chip were down.

When I returned to campus after my suspension—much wiser and more cynical, natch—I ignored everything except my studies, proceeding to graduate in record time. Not only did I graduate on time with my class, I graduated with honors.

I went on and made a successful life for myself.

The lessons I learned from this episode—lessons I learned because of the mistakes I made—are actually the most valuable lessons I learned in my life. And they are lessons that I’ve applied over the years.

  1. Never assume you will win just because you’re right.

  2. Always understand the motivations of everyone involved.

  3. Frighten your opponents enough that they realize that fighting you might not be worth it.

  4. Line up your allies before you get into a fight—so that you might not need to get into the fight.

  5. It is harder to repair damage than to avoid it—so avoid it.

Sun-Tzu in The Art of War said that, “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” That about sums it up.

Hope these lessons help.

TL;DR: The truth will not help you if you are accused by some girl in a he-said-she-said type situation. To stop this type of situation from wrecking your life, you have to make it too damaging for the institution to continue.

If you want to check out more of my rants and raves, go to my YouTube channel, Coach Red Pill


[–]kylerjalen 215 points216 points  (8 children)

Wow. Im both inspired and frightened about what happened to you. Well done and good on you for coming out on top eventually. I can only hope karma caught up with her.

[–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 174 points175 points  (5 children)

Thank you. I don't know if Karma caught up with her—but I do know an old saying: The best revenge is living well.

[–]SmilingWatermelon 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Could not agree more. Live a good life. It's the best way to get back at someone who tried to damage your life.

A man's goal should never be revenge, it should be living a fulfilled life.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Bing400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    However, she fucked him over because she felt like it, is that not so? Shouldn't we try to avoid that possibility?

    [–]Bing400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Maybe he shouldn't have told her his real name? I don't know, it seems reckless to be at a woman's mercy like that.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 128 points129 points  (8 children)

    Thank you for telling your story. Too many times these stories go untold. Example: my father was railroaded out of a good state job in the 1980s by a fat feminazi on a bogus sexual harassment claim. He rallied and found new employment to support his family, but that cunt nearly destroyed an entire family to advance her own career prospects. This shit has been around a lot longer than most of us realize because men tend to move on and don't dwell on stories of victimization.

    [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 51 points52 points  (3 children)

    This shit has been around a lot longer than most of us realize because men tend to move on and don't dwell on stories of victimization.

    Exactly. I never thought of “getting back” at this woman, I was just interested in moving on.

    [–]traitoriroh 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    You're a better man then me mate.

    [–]grandaddychimp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    You probably could have sued the hell out of her. I'm sure with the amount of proof that she was lying, your lawyer and a judge would have agreed.

    [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Like I wrote in the OP, at the time, I didn't have the resources. By the time I finally did—after I'd graduated—I had other things on my mind, other priorities in my life.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]ppanther92 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Why would women need rape claim avoidance strategies? This situation practically never happens and when it does they get the pussypass.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]OrangeSn00py 75 points76 points  (5 children)

        This is one of my biggest fears. If this ever happens, hire lawyers and go from there. In fact, I might be inclined to sue the accuser if the facts are on my side. Defamation can be damaging. Good job on OP for making it work though.

        [–]JohnnySkidmarx 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        Definitely counter sue the accuser. You'd be surprised how often these liars back down when they're also being sued.

        [–]Huporter2387 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Always sue false accusers. The message has to be loud and clear that lies and fabrications will result in me taking your shit.

        [–]IkWhatUDidLastSummer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        If this is one of your biggest fears you're doing something terribly wrong...

        [–]lipidsly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Its a lot of guys fear because even if they dont interact with the woman they can be charged and even found guilty

        A woman got a man convicted of rape based on a dream she had

        [–][deleted]  (8 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]beefthathasredmiddle 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        A new car hmm. Wise spending choice.

        [–]Altimata 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just once to make that mistake right....

        [–]mindblower2theMAX 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        so you got money from the government? what did the accuser get? is it fair for someone to accuse you for rape get the same punishment for a rapist?

        [–]grandaddychimp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Do you mean new new, or just new to you?

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 45 points46 points  (22 children)

         

        I forgot about Alice and continued with my life. But two weeks later, I got a notice saying that I had been formally accused of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

         

        Similiar thing happened to me in 2006.

        Went to local pool and flirted with female lifeguard.

        I return visit once to the pool a week later... nothing really unusual happens.

        A month later I get people at my door informing me she filed police paperwork claiming I was stalking her.

        Seriously insane.

         

        [–]Rawrination 40 points41 points  (18 children)

        Its shit like this that makes men scared to even say hi to a woman.

        [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 22 points23 points  (3 children)

        Got in trouble twice due to a "hi" and a "you look nice today" while in the military. Different girls, months apart. Apparently a single comment from a man they don't find attractive is enough to claim harassment. Another was a female friend and we had banter going on, overheard by a Pentecostal asshole, he charged me with sexual harassment despite her and i simply being friends. I was engaged to an Arab girl and he had a huge problem with that, ended up trying to fuck me over for months over it, and got himself in deep shit.

        [–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        I was engaged to an Arab girl and he had a huge problem with that, ended up trying to fuck me over for months over it, and got himself in deep shit.

        Please expand on this. I just LOVE when a WK gets fucked over.

        [–]SiulaGrande 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        revenge porn is addicting. i feel the same way. but i control the urge for revenge and focus on myself

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 24 points25 points  (13 children)

         

        I'm pretty sure "Hi" is "Hate Speech" these days.

        Can you think of something less offensive?

         

        [–]JeSuisSuperman 6 points7 points  (5 children)

        Maybe if breathing more heavily than usual?

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 15 points16 points  (2 children)

         

        "Standing While Not Chad" will be a crime soon.

        If you can not show some value to a female that's a crime.

        Chad is at least a fuckable boy toy... a beta is barely to be tolerated and will likely become fully illegal in any place within 100 yards of a female.

        All beta males will be forced to hide in "low SMV" bunkers designed to keep them out of sight.

        80% of males will meekly accept this treatment and not complain.

         

        [–]1SeemedGood 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        "Standing While Not Chad" will be a crime soon.

        Indeed. They're already working on criminalizing sitting w/o scrunching up your balls.

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

         

        That's right.

        It's getting hard to invent parodies because reality is already a joke.

         

        [–]JeSuisSuperman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Or hiring and writing it out on a blimp

        [–]JohnnySkidmarx 4 points5 points  (6 children)

        There's a lot of fat bitches that hang out at our community pool. I don't look at them or say a single word to them.

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 13 points14 points  (5 children)

         

        Fat women are invisible.

        It's like they don't register on the sexual radar.

        My guess is you would only get into trouble if you tried feeding them.

         

        • Don't feed the fat chicks.

         

        ...if you ignore them you will be okay.

         

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]NeoreactionSafe 6 points7 points  (2 children)

           

          • New Violation : Failure to grant sexual validation to fat chicks.

           

          Thank God (the Natural Law warrior) for Trump.

          We can't immediately reverse all this shit, but at least we have stopped it in it's tracks for now.

           

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

             

            The Blue Pill is about embracing the victim idea and self identifying with it... even to glorify failure.

            Trump says:

             

            • "Hey I know you were a victim before because that's how they programmed you to be... to love losing. I'm saying there is another way which is to win."

             

            The Blue Pill reaction will be:

             

            • "Stop. You are scaring me. Don't tell me I have free will and could choose to win because I've gotten comfortable as a loser and feel very proud of it. In fact, as a SJW I convert my failure into a "victim card" and virtue signal with it. How dare you rob me of my only survival strategy. All this talk is triggering me and I need to find a safe space to get away and cry."

             

            [–]BigBrotherZiggy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            This kind of shit makes me angry beyond belief. How can people stand that cunt, how can someone be so pathetic, such a douchebag

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [removed]

              [–]NeoreactionSafe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

               

              In some places a Trump shirt might cause a sneak attack on you.

              If you wear it be very alert... watch your back.

              When you sense trouble be ready for the fight and kick ass if possible.

              The country is practically into a civil war in some areas.

               

              [–]Actanonverba11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              This is why I don't try to even look at women at the gym. It does not take much for them to get the manginas and white knights on their side.

              [–]Late30sMasculist 21 points22 points  (1 child)

              She wanted to have sex—but I didn’t because there was something about her which I thought was a little bit off.

              I know what you mean about something being "off" with her. I had that happen once with a girl I met at a bonfire/campout party. We went so far that I had her naked in my tent and was fingering her. She also had something "off" about her, and I just knew somehow that fucking this chick would open up a can of worms, so I ended stuff and went back to the party.

              To this day, I still think that girls that make fake rape allegations have some screws loose that you can detect ahead of time if you're sensitive to that sort of stuff. I bet a lot of guys accused overlooked some red flags because they were blinded by pussy.

              but she gave me a look—clearly pissed that I hadn’t called her. Even the girl I was with noticed it—and of course liked me more because of it. Because it was clearly a look of jealousy.

              The girl from my story was also intensely jealous, especially considering she had only known me for an hour. One of my platonic female acquaintances at the party talked to me a bit and just from that, this girl got raging jealous. So extreme jealousy may be another "tell" that a girl is a nutcase to be avoided.

              To this day, I think back on that and am glad I passed on the bang that night because I'm convinced this girl would have created crazy drama afterwards.

              [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              You kind of hint at one major sign - clear feelings of envy and jealousy that are totally out of proportion to the situation.

              Another sign is a clear belief that there should be laws against broken hearts/buyer's remorse. This can be much more difficult to detect.

              Great username, am in the same boat.

              [–]Equada 15 points16 points  (4 children)

              Can someone PLEASE explain to me why College's in the US are expected to carry out any investigation or justice in a Sexual Anything case?

              The accusation is the accusation of a real crime, with laws and everything that the judicial system is meant to deal with. The way crime is supposed to be handled is the victim files a complaint with the police. If a victim presents themselves to anyone else, such as a school employee, I don't understand how said employee doesn't say "you need to call the police".

              If a crime is prosecuted and the person found guilty, then the school can have policies in place to remove them. The school itself should never be placed in a situation of being both the police and the judiciary for a crime.

              I don't get what's so special about sexual assault that in the US it's dealt with at the school and not by the police.

              What am I missing. Seriously.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              It started with Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of 1972. Title IX states that, “No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.”

              The spirit of this was to ensure that women had the same sports facilities as men. If any college or university discriminated against women, they would lose their Federal funding.

              But Feminists expanded Title IX to include whether or not a college was creating a sexually discriminating environment. I've forgotten the particulars, just Google and research, but this is in essence how colleges now have to adjudicate cases of sexual assault and/or sexual harassment.

              It is ridiculous, it should never have happened, it should be changed . . . but this state of affairs has continued for over 30 years. And there is no end in sight, because too many college administrator jobs depend on this interpretation of Title IX.

              Hence how many men are being railroaded by these collegiate kangaroo courts.

              [–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Too many of the bros are happy enough to just keep out of prison, and are afraid to kick the hornet's nest. They just want to get on with their lives.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I still can't figure out why "Campus Police" exist. Campus is nothing special compared to non-campus, its not a special district with different rules. Campus police are often less trained to deal with crime too compared to regular beat cops.

              [–]ILoveJuices 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              It would be interesting to know... if he lawyer'd up, could he have filed a civil or criminal counter-suit?

              [–]askmrcia 14 points15 points  (3 children)

              Being on the football team at my college, if I had a dollar for the amount of times I've seen a teammate get accused of sexual assault I'd be rich. I'm exaggerating ofcourse, but I've seen it happen quite often at my school and know of others at other schools.

              Its always the same thing, the girls are usually the biggest whores on campus. Like to sleep around. As soon as word gets around that they were apart of a gangbang or got pumped and dumped they cry rape and sexual assault.

              I mean straight up lies. And its sad because now it makes it look like the girls that really experience any kind of assault, I won't even believe them.

              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

              Women are like children. They don't know what to do with their freedom, so they usually whore themselves out, become junkies, become feminists, or possibly a combination of all three.

              [–]Reformed65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Mate I don't see a difference with all these three they're all mutually connected.

              [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              Why are these real life stories? They're terrifying

              [–]cwbrng 12 points13 points  (5 children)

              I'm not Red Pill. I don't care if you know that.

              I learned a great deal from this post. All of them positive things that I will from now on try to incorporate into my life in order to better myself and my family.

              Thank you for posting. Will save. Gilded.

              Edit: Wow. Automatic bans from some subreddits for posting here, regardless of context or content. Free speech, yo.

              [–]Hollerdongs 3 points4 points  (4 children)

              Those bans in other subs for posting here are also against reddit policy, if you care.

              [–]cwbrng 2 points3 points  (3 children)

              I know they are. Which is why it surprised me. Totally uncool.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              Which subs banned you? That's weird.

              [–]cwbrng 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              I would really prefer not to publically say. I responded politely to the auto-messages telling me I was banned, as stated I could. I don’t see how publically outing the subs could do any real good though. I can always report them, if I thought it would do any good.

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              I want to know who to avoid.

              [–]Barvazon 11 points12 points  (20 children)

              Scary shit. Didn't you sue the university or her? Couldn't you?

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 14 points15 points  (19 children)

              Not at the time, I didn't have the resources then. Later, when I had the money to kick up a fuss, I realized it would be a waste of my time and energy.

              [–]Barvazon 25 points26 points  (17 children)

              It actually reminds me of something that has happened to me some time ago.

              All through semester there was this girl who was kino'ing me all the time in the university, even during class. So I invited her a few times over, and she always told me she's not cheap and we would need to date before she would come to me. Of course, I didn't want to date her, just to fuck her, and one day she kinda invited herself over. I figured, what the hell, I'm having sex tonight. So she came to me, and we were on my bed watching some movie, and I tried to kino her lightly, but she didn't reciprocate at all - so I stopped. Then she "fell asleep", I covered her with a blanket and went to the kitchen. Then she followed me, grabbed me closely and asked me "why don't you kiss me? it's obvious that I want to kiss me ever since you met me" Anyway, at that point I got that listening to her and playing whatever bullshit game she's playing is just not worth the pussy, I haven't even touched that girl and she has lots of red flags, including calling and texting me way too much, and glancing at my phone whenever it was flashing and reading the texts (Jesus! No respect for privacy!). I didn't really want to do anything with her, so I told her I didn't kiss her because I don't want to 'go all the way to take it'. Then she said it's late and she's leaving, so I pointed her to the door and said "good night". She didn't move, shocked by the fact that I'm not begging her to stay. Then she's started calling me weird. I walked her to the door, hugged her lightly and told her good night. She didn't move. I gave her a kiss on the chick and boy, I never had to move my head so far in order to avoid someone's lips like that.

              After that, she went on with the texts, to which I ignored. Then she said something like "that's why I didn't kiss you, because you could treat someone like shit". Talk about solipsism.

              Now, reading your thread, I get the feeling that I dodged shitload of bullets on that one, including a false rape charge caused by bruised ego.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 15 points16 points  (14 children)

              Now, reading your thread, I get the feeling that I dodged shitload of bullets on that one, including a false rape charge caused by bruised ego.

              Probably.

              If you see a girl waving a red flag, how many more red flags do you need before you avoid her?

              If you get the vibe that she's nuts, drop her--but get her to text you that all is good between you, so you have proof.

              (The best thing to do, which I'll write about later, is to always film any interaction at your place, especially while at college, which is when you're most vulnerable to false rape allegations. That way, you'll always have insurance.)

              [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              If you see a girl waving a red flag, how many more red flags do you need before you avoid her?

              This.

              Red flags don't exist alone. If she waves one she'll wave a million.

              [–]otra_gringa 1 point2 points  (6 children)

              DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS GUY!

              He's advising that in order to avoid a false accusation of a sex crime, you commit an actual sex crime that could send you to prison for years. (http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2013/01/former_colgate_student_headed.html)

              Please do not commit sex crimes based on advice you read on the internet!

              [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points  (1 child)

              Depends on the state. Stop getting your panties twisted, instead of paying that link over and over, how about providing information on which states have laws against it and which don't and the differences therein? Easy enough to look up, so easy even you can do it.

              [–]otra_gringa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              The law is new where it exists, and just because it's not a crime in a particular jurisdiction today doesn't mean that won't change soon.

              And your suggestion that I compile a list of where it's still legal to invade people's privacy to help someone commit what is a crime in some locales and merely immoral in others is outrageous.

              Filming people having sex without their permission, whether they are male or female, is wrong. See: Bollea v. Gawker.

              [–]juliusstreicher 4 points5 points  (3 children)

              No, he's advising that evidence and the defendant's word is much better than NO evidence and the defendant's word.

              [–]otra_gringa -1 points0 points  (2 children)

              He's advocating creating evidence of a crime. That's a terrible solution to potentially being accused of a crime.

              It's like saying "I didn't rob that bank, Officer, which you can see from this video of me at that time stealing from Walmart!" You're still going to prison!

              [–]QCpassed 0 points1 point  (5 children)

              Are there any legal implications to doing that?

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

              Videotaping a sexual encounter? I don't know, it varies by state. If it's illegal to videotape, ask yourself if the penalty for it is worse than the penalty over a false-rape charge.

              [–]grewapair 7 points8 points  (2 children)

              If it's illegal to videotape, it will be excluded from evidence, so you'll get both charges leveled against you.

              [–]2Overkillengine 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              In the court of law.

              But it can still be used to absolutely crucify someone in the court of public opinion.

              And the latter is far more powerful when used well.

              [–]juliusstreicher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

              And, if you can get it online in time, can show the DA and police up for being fucks who take the whore's side. Make sure that only you and lawyer have master copy.

              [–]otra_gringa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              It is illegal in many jurisdictions and can definitely lead to a significant prison sentence.

              http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2013/01/former_colgate_student_headed.html

              [–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              After that, she went on with the texts, to which I ignored. Then she said something like "that's why I didn't kiss you, because you could treat someone like shit". Talk about solipsism.

              I think that this is something more than just solipsism. It is something more totally bizarre, that is deep in them. My experience:

              1. Co-Workers (I know) and I had a remarkably friendly and casual relationship about 20 years ago. We would actually be sorry to leave work because we were having so much fun with each other. We would actually hug each other, and a few times we would have group hugs, realizing the humorous situation in all of the hugging. OK, so, one Sunday morning, this one chick who was a hardbody with D Cups was on my immediate right when I came in. Hugs started, somebody said 'group hug!' and we did. Next thing you know, D Cups was groping my ass, bigtime. (Riding bicycles and lunges at the time, you see.) I actually looked around, either for confirmation that I wasn't hallucinating or else to get ready for the heckling by the group, I'm not sure. None noticed, which surprised me, because she was SO physical about it. Yadda, yadda, we had a sexual relationship for about 2 months. OK, where the relevancy is, one night we were kicking back after doing it and she said "What made you decide to start making moves on me?" or some such language. Hmmm...maybe it was the groping my ass part????

              2. Another case, years earlier (wanted to get the best humble brag out of the way in case I dropped dead while typing) this other girl did the same thing, only less sexual. She kept staring at me in class, and later walked across the school cafeteria just to ask me some stupid casual question. The whole relationship ended up with me becoming a total wanker orbiter, story not forthcoming, but when she DID grace me with her conversation, she said "What made you start to pursue me?"

              Point being, I think that these two really did believe that I started the whole thing. The groping of my ass in a group setting, the walking across the cafeteria, which are huge things that guys don't do in a 'public setting', and would yield the disgraceful 'long walk' if not consummated, were somehow morphed into ME making moves. In their minds, I had started it all.

              Even after TRP, this alchemy still amazes me.

              [–]Barvazon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              It also reminds me how my ex insisted that it was her who broke up with me. The stories women tell themselves and later on their surroundings is like that disclaimer you see on movies - "any relation to reality is no more than a coincidence".

              [–]lelease -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Isn't that like letting a criminal go unpunished? I mean there are already a lot of "broken windows" in this world, but still...

              [–]hereforlols60 20 points21 points  (2 children)

              Something similar to this situation had just happened to me at the beginning of my junior year of college, 2 years ago.

              I played college football, and my then girlfriend of 2 years was becoming way too clingy. After trying to work it out, but realizing nothing was going to change, I decided to break it off because she was demanding more of me than I could give her being a full time student and D1 football player.

              Over the next couple of weeks, she had broken into and trashed my truck twice, stalked me around campus, and sent me explicit texts ranging from her threatening me to wanting to get back together.

              At this point, I realized that she was crazy and just decided to ignore her. But then, 2 weeks after I broke things off, I had police come to my practice, and escort me to the campus police station for questioning, DURING THE MIDDLE OF FOOTBALL PRACTICE.

              Now, because of recent situations with other football players throughout the country, I was extremely scared to be a 6'4 300lb football player being accused of sexual assault, harassment, and anger issues (due to a "fight" in the middle of football practice). I went into the campus police station already being treated as a criminal. From them yelling in my face and saying that I was in big trouble, to just being treated like I was completely ignorant.

              After they gave me their whole spill, I tried to talk with them as calmly as I could. First, I asked if they had any evidence. As soon as he said no, I told him that I knew he didn't because there wasn't any. I then told him that I had video evidence of my ex committing a felony (breaking into my truck) and harassing me. I told him that if I was contacted about this situation one more time, I'd have charges pressed against my ex that day and that my lawyer would be in touch with the school to discuss harassment (the chief of campus police knew that I wasn't bluffing - he knows that I have family in law and and higher up law enforcement).

              The only thing I was told to do by our lawyer, which the campus police recommended I do, is go talk with one of our campus counselors. Immediately after leaving the police station, I went to the counselor and talked with her for an hour. At the end of the hour, she told me that what she had originally been told about me by campus police was completely false and even offered me an internship. I never heard anything about it again. But, it is absolutely terrifying to think about how bad this could've been for me if I did not have the evidence of her breaking into my truck.

              Now, I am a school counselor and working on opening my own mental health practice to help others avoid similar situations, and to advocate for those who are in similar situations.

              *While reading this, picture a 300lb lineman still wearing half of a football uniform soaking in sweat and smelling horrendously.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              Great job on remaining calm when the state's enforcers were doing their best to bait you into a reaction.

              Taking their bait and getting emotional is one of the worst things you can do in that situation, because if things go to court you've already given them tons of ammo you are a certifiable lunatic.

              Ammo that will be confirmed as genuine by the sworn testimony of the half-dozen police you just melted down in front of.

              [–]hereforlols60 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I agree. Becoming upset was the worst thing that could've happened. It was extremely hard not to with them treating me like they did. I was lucky.

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [deleted]

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 28 points29 points  (3 children)

              I live very well. Each year I age, I get more attractive to young women. Each year this woman ages, the more invisible she gets.

              That's revenge enough.

              [–]Irinir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              These people are not worth your time or energy. Live well.

              [–]1Sir_Distic 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              I've seen a few posts on TRP about protecting yourself from rape claims and most are good. But this is a whole different level. This shows how scary it can be.

              And damn OP, you provided great step by step instructions (basically) on what you did wrong so others can avoid that. This is amazingly valuable advice and info.

              Never assume that because truth and facts are on your side that justice will prevail. Especially in today's colleges.

              [–]stompie5 20 points21 points  (3 children)

              Your story reminds me of a scene in the old animated transformers movie. A robot is standing before a judge with multiple faces. One of the faces ask, "innocent or guilty?" After a few moments, a different face says, "inoccent," then they proceed to execute the robot.

              [–]Irinir 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Do you have a link for this?

              [–]stompie5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I do not, but I just did a Google search of, "animated transformers movie innocent or guilty," and it was the first thing to pop up.

              [–]yomo86 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              In the game of power, in the times of danger, the system rather turns on the supposed victim before questioning itself. Your first task then is to re-frame. Attack the system subtly but with an aura of likability. Lawsuits, bad press, pulled advertising is all fair game. Emma Sulkowicz, the Mattress Girl, did not became a person non grata for being an exceptional unskilled liar but rather for endangering the system to its core.

              [–]Reformed65 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Honestly this is an eye-opener, especially the part where you said that it's just some people's job to find men guilty even if they're not and that the school would rather have the lying girl win than for the innocent man.

              Such a sad society, can't believe that we live in a state of society where the girl can (metaphorically and literally) slap the guy but the guy can't slap back.

              [–]Cinderislist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Good read, good advice. Thank you for sharing.

              [–]JackGetsIt 4 points5 points  (1 child)

              Reading this made me sick to my stomach. I'm sorry this happen to you.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              It happens. Onward and upward, says I! Cheers.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

              someone needs to sue these schools and win. That will help fix the politics.

              If you goto a kangaroo court, get treated illegally and then suffer misapplied consequences. Sue them. For Defamation, for lost tuition, emotional stress etc.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              There are a lots of suits, often successful. But the problem is the victim mentality and the women-so-fragile narrative.

              [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Strong independent empowered helpless fragile victims.

              [–]falecf4 5 points6 points  (3 children)

              Prime Day is coming up. I'm definitely buying a nice little recording device. Many states are 1 party consent (If video is out) and these little things can record for 8 hours or more.

              [–]Reformed65 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              Just out of interest, what do you mean by video? As in, you place the device somewhere like a CCTV camera or you attach it to yourself like an audio recorder and it records what's in front of you?

              [–]falecf4 6 points7 points  (1 child)

              Apologize for the confusion. In another comment someone talked about video recording any encounters that take place in your dorm or apartment and a bunch of people went off on how that is a whole other crime in and of itself.

              Elsewhere in TRP there has been talk of audio recording your encounters. This typically is 1 party consent (check your local laws) and is just another failsafe besides, say, getting a text from the girl that she had a good time. So, a dedicated recording device could record from 8-12 hours and you could easily back up the audio digitally.

              When it turns into he said she said and you can literally produce what she said, then there is not much room for confusion. I don't think you can be too safe here and if local laws allow you to video record in your own home without issue, then I would do that too.

              [–]Reformed65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Thanks man. Yeah it sounds weird that some laws believe that you don't have a right to record those in your house, needing their consent.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              When these things happen ALWAYS lawyer-up, and don't talk to the school, let your legal counsel do it. Something as simple as legal hate mail can be more than enough to dissuade any accuser if they know they're lying. This pretty much goes for everything, don't talk to the cops, don't talk trying to defend yourself without some legal advice first, its a minefield for the innocent.

              [–]krick3t 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Glad I read this. My brother is going through this same thing, after sleeping with someone while both sober. Even with text messages from the next day of her saying she gave consent and how much she loved it, there's a investigation.

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              When I read stories like this I always find myself back in the anger phase. Sigh. I wish it didn't bother me, but it does. A lot.

              [–]Desadarius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              It bothers you for good reason. After all, the reason this happens and bitches get a way with it is because it doesn't bother enough people.

              [–]soyDonEladio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              'Always understand the motivations of everyone involved.'

              GOLD.

              [–]candyman420 6 points7 points  (8 children)

              I'm a little hard-pressed to believe that average students like this girl were using e-mail widely in 1991. At that time, it's the sort of things that only the nerds in computer labs were involved with.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

              It was an Ivy League school with a strong computing department. We were all required to buy computers by that time.

              [–]candyman420 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              And people like this girl dialed in with modems to access text-based VAX terminals that were hard to use? Because that's all e-mail "was" in 1991. Windows 3.0 didn't have a TCP/IP stack.

              [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              We used Macs, not windows. As I recall, we were transitioning from System 6 to System 7. There wasn't a dial-in modem, we just plugged in to outlets in our dorm rooms. (I have no idea what “text-based VAX terminals” means, I'm not a computer person.)

              I am unclear as to why you would think I'm making up that part of my story.

              [–]DigitallyDisrupt 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              I am unclear as to why you would think I'm making up that part of my story

              Because he remembers 1991 like I do, which was MANY years before people started using email. And when they did, it wouldn't be a dateable female doing it.

              And so, what you were describing, sounds like something from about 6+ years later.

              Honestly, I'd have to see some proof too.

              Not being lazy, I found some.

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BlitzMail

              Interesting read. I guess OP doxxed himself.

              BlitzMail was developed by Dartmouth in 1987 and went live in the summer of 1988. BlitzMail is descended from this codebase.

              The name BlitzMail started as a joke among its programmers, as it had to be developed quickly.

              In 1991, when Dartmouth required every student to own a computer, the server code was updated to allow multiple servers to accommodate the heavy demand for the system.

              The first versions of the client ran only on the Apple Macintosh operating system.

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                I can't speak of other Ivies. But at mine, in 1991, you were required to have a computer, in our case a Mac; and everyone—without exception—had an email account, using an email client that was absurdly easy and convenient to use.

                You don't believe me, hey, fine by me. Cheers. CRP

                [–]OmegaMan2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                We had E-mail in the Comp Sci and other STEM departments already back in 1984. We also had quite a few hot chicks using their accounts for some very racy stuff.

                Back then hacking the accounts to read what the ladies were saying about us was quite easy to do.

                [–]MrBellsprout123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                They HAVE to find you guilty. Becuase either you're lying or Alice is lying. And everyone knows that women are perfect snowflakes that shit candycorn and piss vodka, so she's obviously innocent.

                [–]TheLegionnaire00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Wow. Great post man. And this prove what I said in one of my posts. You must create connections with powerful people from a young age and You must always have a freaking good lawyer in your social circle.

                [–]EZikez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Thanks for taking the time to post.

                [–]Kaizen2_0 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                One of the greatest stories of this that woke me up to the possibility of this happening to someone was by Patrice O'Neal. You can listen to it on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/CybGo6hALVo

                Story should be turned into a movie

                [–]Warfrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                jesus christ...that was harrowing.

                SMH how dumbass people can be even when the evidence is so obvious in front of them.

                [–]red_devil0_0 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                I started watching your channel. Although it has very little number of views, but it is essential. There are no words how much it is helping me. I know, the views are not there, but they will come one day. Please donot stop making wonderful videos.

                [–]ayylma088 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I would've punched that bitch man ... you handled yourself well despite everything

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                wow, my brother, thank you for this insight. More men like you please.

                [–]Hotelmotelholidayinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                I don't believe a word of this.

                [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Repeal the 19th Amendment. It's the only way this insanity will be stopped.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                [–]chelsalini 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Its a bullshit story and every paragraph is filled with lies. Anyone with half a brain could easily debunk this, like the person above. Wrong definition of Title IX, absolutely wrong definition of a Women's Resource Center and sexual harassment counselors... admits he doesn't have an alibi during the reported incident... none of it makes no sense.

                [–][deleted]  (18 children)

                [deleted]

                [–]BestSC86 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                About 5% of students were using personal computers in the early 90s.....hell universities were still running computer labs with all the shit that entailed. And any email would have been an account on the mainframe assigned to the student who was allowed to access via password and never on her 'personal computer'. Email wouldn't have been used for personal communication because one had to find a place to login to the mainframe, access your account, etc. Dorms were not wired yet for computers and any communication outside of computer labs had to be done by modems and phone lines which where were expensive and rare for regular students.

                And just for the real newbies...there was NO SUCH THING AS wi-fi, everything was connected via cables, phone linesmodems and closed computer networks.

                First red flag was that she "didn't want those things on her computer"....that would have been impossible because any "email" would been an account on the mainframe and not stored on her personal computer...this wasn't 2010 with Microsoft Outlook loaded on every personal computer and wi-fi hotspots to synch up email, etc.

                [–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Iffy, but possible

                [–]Reformed65 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                1991 seems pretty early for schools to provide email accounts to all students...

                Seems? So you're not someone who's lived through the early 90s therefore why should we listen to you?

                [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 0 points1 point  (6 children)

                Trumpet Winsock for Windows 3.1

                Gopher for DOS.

                That package written with Borland TurboVision... Menuet for DOS? Had Gopher and shit.

                Usenet NEWS were already widely available.

                Email? Man, some people used uucp.

                My experience? That's not even in United States. Way poorer country. 1992-1993.

                Do your homework kiddo. I remember when a guy from my high school, he was 1 or 2 years older, was launching Mosaic 2.0 on Windows 3.something.

                And I'm not even 40 yo

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                  [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Universities werent providing email and dial-up to each student.

                  In my country when there were no DARPA and no Federal Reserve Bank they were. I was a high school student in 91 and I remember I was sad because I couldn't get an unix shell account because I had to be an university student.

                  Those were the days by the way.

                  As for op story, I don't have any idea if it was true or not.

                  [–]BestSC86 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

                  Yeah, every hot co-ed in college was launching that shit to communicate around campus in 1991....

                  Just because the computer nerds who obsessively watched WarGames were drooling around with Compuserve and the rest has nothing to do with hot fuckable co-eds doing it....

                  [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  War games the movie was many years earlier.

                  [–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I know but a host of nerds were still drooling around the late 90s watching it obsessively as a blueprint of how 'awesome' computer geeks could be....and Matthew even got Ally, wow!!!!!

                  [–]Sherlock--Holmes -1 points0 points  (3 children)

                  In 1991 I had a static email account at a company that I worked for. It's completely plausible that so did he on campus.

                  [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]Sherlock--Holmes 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    You are absolutely wrong. Most college campuses had some form of electronic mail by the late 1980's.

                    Source: i was a programmer working at an email software provider in 1991. I was sending emails since the 1980's.

                    [–]therhymerr 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                    TBH I feel like social media and technology would've been your best friend in this situation.... would've prevented absolutely everything if you truly were innocent.

                    [–]Reformed65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    That wouldn't help IMO cause the girl can make fake evidences that no one will bat an eye to.

                    [–]learn2fly77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    This happened a long time ago.

                    [–]WithATrebuchet 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                    Im confused why you presented your alibi's prior to the hearing, thereby allowing her to change her story?

                    [–]chelsalini 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                    It's a fake bullshit story that doesn't make sense. That's why

                    [–]WithATrebuchet 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                    Im starting to think this dude took advantage of Alice

                    [–]newls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Great story sir, I'm glad you found your way back into uni, because effectively you got the best of both worlds. You unleashed the grit and still got their piece of paper!

                    [–]SiulaGrande 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                    do you tell this stuff to your kids? I would

                    [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Of course I will. They're too young now, but when they're older, I'll tell them—especially the hard-earned lessons from the episode.

                    [–]stonesfan99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    I would have hired a lawyer and sued this person for slander and defamation.

                    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                    [deleted]

                    [–]Coach-Red-Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    As I said elsewhere, I didn't have the resources at the time; and when a few years later I did, I consciously made the decision to move on and not let this shit pull me down.

                    [–]arrowguns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Based on what you wrote here, you were asking for it. If she didn't write off what you said as bullshit excuses, which it sounds like she didn't, the inference she would have drawn is that you were so into her that you want your first time to be romantic and perfect rather than just casual sex.

                    [–]checkthingsout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    What is your secret of success? "I realized how resourceful and determined I could be when the chip were down."

                    Are you into no fap and lifting? If what happened to you happened to me it would take 10 years to recoup.

                    I was running into problem with campus feminazi when I was a vice president of student union in the University and what I did was resign and became very slow and sluggish for the next 10 years. That year I started fapping... plus many other small health issues here and there, which I now fixed.

                    I wonder if your resiliency was our normal power level if we just live a healthy lifestyle with no fap.

                    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Classical story. This actually happened to a friend in my freshman year. She didn't even go to the cops to report it or to the campus staff.... she went to his fraternity to get him kicked out ! LOL

                    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                    [removed]

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [removed]

                      [–]bob1981666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      Number 2 is so important, It probably deserves its own essay.

                      [–]IkWhatUDidLastSummer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      and theres no way to verify if this is legit... are you using this to hamster the fact that this is perhaps not the 100% truth?

                      [–]Sherlock--Holmes -1 points0 points  (2 children)

                      Excellent story, and wonderful writing. I read it to my wife and daughter who is on the fence with feminism.

                      [–]Sea_ijmn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                      What the fuck? A woman falsely accusing a man of harassment does not equal feminism. She is simply a manipulative crazy person, who OP did well to avoid after their first date.

                      What if your wife and daughter were genuinely harassed? Would you not want institutions in place to protect them?

                      load more comments (5 replies)