Red Pill TheoryRealizing that nobody gives a shit about you should be the most liberating thing you think. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by whythecynic

You are the only person in the world who cares about your own happiness. Especially your parents, if you're lucky all they'll want is grandkids, if you have to go through an unhappy marriage to have them tough fucking luck.

Does that make you depressed? Yeah, maybe, if you can't do a fucking thing about it. But you can. You're here reading this, you're capable of at least some action. You care about you, so treat yourself right and make yourself better.

Then when you realize that precisely because nobody gives a fuck, the meaning of your life is yours to decide, and the world is yours for the taking, congratulations. Go out and get some.

[–]LukesLikeIt 460 points461 points  (8 children)

Being a man is simple. It's having the balls to say what you want and the wisdom to know when not to.

[–]Kxdan 38 points39 points  (1 child)

If this has never been quote before. It shall be from this day forth

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]ismael1999 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You, sir, are simply awesome.

    [–]xRedStaRx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    TRP version of the serenity prayer. It's what I live by as well.

    [–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (21 children)

    This goes hand in hand with becoming present (as often as you can) to the knowledge that you will one day be dead.

    I think about my own death daily. It makes my coffee taste better in the morning. Sunrises are more excellent. Filling my lungs with air is a pleasure.

    Along the same lines, knowing that nobody gives a shit... it's freeing.

    [–]Katavasis 44 points45 points  (7 children)

    Ancient greeks(actually any ancient european civillization) had this habit:Their soldiers,before going to sleep,had to imagine getting killed brutally a 1000 time,with a different way it's time,so they could be in touch with reallity.

    Later,scientists found that this habit 'wakes up' a certain part of our brain.(i can't post the links,but it had benefits like extreme focus and energy,correlated to an increased adrenaline adena.)

    [–]RedBallroom 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Yep this is an ancient Stoic technique called negative visualization. Read Epictetus's Enchiridion or any of Seneca's essay such as On Happiness if you want to learn more about stoicism.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What good is that? I thought positive visualization was useful, this sounds like the opposite.

    [–]mickey__ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    if you find it post here man please

    [–]ArkAngelEV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Sounds completely absurd. Probably true

    [–]Azora 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Could be an interesting experiment to experience yourself dying in different ways in VR, and see if any mind state change comes from that.

    [–]1Original_Dankster 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    Agreed completely. Part of my redpilling (is that indeed a verb?) was fearing for my life. A few times in a theatre of war, and once with a serious illness (not related).

    I imagined the world going on without me. I thought of what I had accomplished, and who I'd be leaving behind. And I realized that I'm not that big a deal. If I leave this earth, things are still ok.

    Those experiences made me appreciate life more.

    Years later, I learned that this was a technique used by the Roman Stoics - negative visualization (though they didn't call it that). They would periodically imagine losing whatever was most important to them, such as a loved one, wealth, or their own life. Thus, when minor setbacks befell them, they had the perspective that these setbacks were really quite insignificant.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Magnetic core will cool far before then.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]theXald 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        This glass plate is already broken.

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)


          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          There is no point to anything. But I do enjoy being alive. Why not see where it goes.

          To OP's point, I'm not hung up on people giving a shit about me, or how I feel, or what I do. To my point, focusing on my own mortality is a way of getting present to the things I am spending precious time on.

          Your serious question, really isn't that serious, and doesn't really fit this post.

          Can you answer your question for yourself? Why haven't you killed yourself? Or better yet, why are you committed to living?

          [–]SetConsumes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Survival instinct.

          It is irrational to live. It is irrational to CTB.

          Either way, it's irrational.

          So may as well do what you irrationally want to do.

          We have this biological wiring to enjoy things. And so we tend to do those things.

          We each are also uniquely created by our environment in a way no one else will be, this will give you some certain calling or mission unique to yourself, if you can only hear it that is.

          Perhaps you will enjoy finding yourself spiritually. The world is more than physical.

          [–]evolveto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I have a friend like you, who asks these question. So I have to reply!

          There is no point in anything yet there is a point in everything, with each passing seconds, your counts of breaths also lessens , second by second, point by point! If breath stops, point stops and then there is no point, so the point is, to live life to the fullest, you are not attached to the last breath but you want your next breath so badly!

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          if nothing matters, then nothing matters that nothing matters

          [–]victor_knight 53 points54 points  (32 children)

          After you hit 35, they care even less.

          [–]RPFlame 36 points37 points  (17 children)

          36 here, can confirm. Louis CK joked about that even doctors stop giving a fuck.

          [–]victor_knight 13 points14 points  (16 children)

          There is an upside, though. Fucking chicks half your age starts to get legal. :)

          [–]MuhTriggersGuise 31 points32 points  (15 children)

          In my 20s, I didn't fuck chicks half my age because it wasn't legal. I didn't fuck chicks half my age because they were children.

          [–]karpathian 5 points6 points  (14 children)

          Can confirm, 21 and chicks half my age are unappealing due to lack of development and refining that a legal age girl would have.

          [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 10 points11 points  (13 children)

          I'm 47 girls your age want to get fucked by me... Often. It's easier now than it was at your age, orders of magnitude easier. It was easy then, but now a bit of game, charm, and amusing shit tests and there they are, naked with her legs around me. Getting to this reality isn't easy, you have to put in work right now, it will pay off for the rest of your life.

          [–]BreathOfDick 1 point2 points  (6 children)

          Is there any best sources for learning game, or mostly practice?

          [–]PlanB_pedofile 6 points7 points  (4 children)

          Don't get fat. You don't necessarily need to be handsome, you don't have to be body building built, just don't be fat. Fit into a 36 waist size or smaller, also if you look down, you should clearly be able to see your dick without sucking in your gut.

          Older guys who are not fat get magnitudes more women than someone with a dad bod and a 38 inch waist or more.. Have a beer gut, you're fat, even if a tiny beer gut.

          One more example using King of the Hill.

          Hank, and Bill... fat. Bill obviously, but Hank could lose 8-15lbs to not be fat

          Dale and Boomhauer, not fat.

          [–]BreathOfDick 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          I appreciate the response, but I asked about game. I'm 5'11" and 180 lbs. Buying a whole new wardrobe after I lose a few more lbs. Ugly face, but that is nothing compared with shitty game.

          [–]PlanB_pedofile 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          Ah. As for game, it's about getting out there and being amongst women to find what types respond positively to your traits.

          Here's a bit of bro science, women are genetically inclined to find certain traits of men attractive. Like the old saying women marrying men like their fathers, you need to find the women who are inclined to you.

          Just like latina women are attracted to latino men, you may need to find women who respond well to your aesthetics. Now game can sway this. Game can overcome a lot of obstacles but not all of them. I have a very redpill friend who manwhores women frequently. He does great with the bar and festival sluts, but doesn't swing well with asians, preppy, clean, those types. He has great game but has some leagues he can't swing into.

          Go to bat enough times and you'll eventually hit a home run. Hit homers enough times and you'll strike out less.

          Starting game is all bout failing first. You will strike out a lot and that's good because it's all about stepping up to bat first. Try cold approaches, a hi, or a small introduction. You will strike out a lot, but eventually you'll develop an approach that works for you and identify a type of women that you work well with. You can read game books and pua tips and feel free to try some. But like batting tips, they'll set you up but you still need to develop your own swing.

          Go to places where women are. Clubs, bars, art galleries, book clubs, dance classes, concerts, church, house parties, cosplay conventions, or whatever non sausagefest venues you may enjoy.

          At those venues, practice your swinging. That means walking up to a hottie with a "hey I'm ____" and go from there. Though this is literally the most basic, beta, no thrills, strike out approach, the idea is just getting up to plate and taking a swing. You wouldn't believe how many guys won't even go up to bat. If you can step up to the plate, you're probably doing better than 50% of everyone else out there.

          [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Over there in the sidebar... =====>

          Seriously, everything I learned through trial and error was in there when I read it, as well as what not to do, which I had been doing some of them thinking it worked.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          isn't easy? i'll bet it is tho

          [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          Looking good enough at 47 to fuck hot college girls is easy? Look at most guys my age, they took the easy way. No way in hell are they fucking college girls. Building muscle isn't easy, that requires effort and putting the time/work in. Muscle is what differentiates the old attractive men and the creepy fucks.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Building muscle isn't that hard, you just have to make a habit of exercising. If that's hard then you lack discipline. It shouldn't be hard, exercise is natural.

          [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          You do realize you're talking to someone with 20+ inch arms, right? It's actually easy for me, but it doesn't happen sitting on my ass. I wrongly assumed that would be understood without saying it.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (10 children)

          The saying is "youre not taken seriously until yoire 35"

          [–]HobbesTheBrave 4 points5 points  (8 children)

          If you're not taken seriously before 35, will you be taken seriously after?

          I don't respect old women because they're older than younger women, so why would I respect an old man more than a young one? Idiots survive too today. If old people want to get respected, I want to see something which culls the dumb, the foolish and the lazy, on a regular basis.

          [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

          I don't have an eloquant reason why, it's the same for rank in the military I found.

          When I got my first promotion into a merited rank (LS - MS) I remember, supply shop used to treat me like a chode. Wait, I'll get to it when I can. Soon as they threw the maple leaf on my shoulder, all of a sudden it's not only stepping-to, it was with a smile, a sense of urgency. My buddy switched over to an officer, and even worse. People actively submitted to him, in demeanor, who used to be the chiefs that treated him like garbage, prior to.

          Same thing with age. I had my shit together, and every time I needed to move a project forward, it relied on my showing I knew what I was doing. At 37, the same statements are taken with gravity.

          You are right, if I was an idiot, eventually I would be dismissed, still doesn't change, your initial reactions are from an assumed position of competence and authority.

          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          The ancient greeks thought no man worthy of respect until he was over forty and showed signs of balding and grey in his beard. Think of CEOs and politicians. The world has always looked up to and respected older men. They have been there, done that and they have found their voice and their confidence. 30-40 years ago it would have been laughable to have a CEO like Zuckerberg or younger men (let alone women) in political roles.

          [–]1Original_Dankster 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Soon as they threw the maple leaf on my shoulder,

          Can confirm - firsthand knowledge as a long-serving senior NCO. In fact, the way they treat MWOs and CWOs is FAR beyond how they treat most officers, even Capts, Majs and LCols.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I feel bad for the hardasses when they retire.. All that goes away, and then they are just angry old men.

          Small aside, youre right

          [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          While the idiot survive longer now, there is still knowledge to be gained from those who have been there, done that, and earned what they have. The nearly 60 year old guy my ex is married to isn't someone that had earned anything. He is a loser and always will be, you can see it by looking at him. Likewise you can see I'm not a loser by simply looking at me.

          I test everyone I meet to discern their capability and knowledge. Nothing obtrusive, it's about measuring their reactions to what I say. Everyone must earn my respect, but I don't discount them out of hand based on age. I don't put more weight in things old people say, unless they've obviously earned it.

          If you're not taken seriously before 35, will you be taken seriously after?

          It depends on what you project in your actions and non verbal communication, leaders naturally fall into being respected because of this. If you demand respect you shall get none. Sometimes your achievement speaks for you. Losers tend to remain losers throughout life, so if you are a loser at 30, there's a reason nobody takes you seriously.

          Then you have the far side of this, the rare area. You're not taken seriously because your understanding far exceeds almost everyone else and you sound like a nutter. It sounds farcical at best, because your audience is akin to drooling troglodytes in that area. However this is incredibly rare, and if you never prove you're right, you become that crazy guy nobody wants to be around. Without action knowledge is useless.

          [–]ArkAngelEV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Cause man has the burden of performance, so if he's made it to past 35 and things are going well; one can assume he's accrued some measure of wisdom.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          9 more years to go. Better make use of the occasional fuck people give about me until then.

          [–]sir_wankalot_here 101 points102 points  (7 children)

          Posts like this show this reddit is maturing. You stated the truth which the BP wants to deny. I made a similar post a while back, this doesn't mean your psot is irrelevant, on the contrary, people often need things expressed in different ways till they catch on.

          For myself there was fear when I had this realization but it changed to liberation you put it.

          [–]MontmorencyWHAT 32 points33 points  (6 children)

          While I'm not deeply into TRP I think the most useful element of this reddit is not all the occasionally idiotic field reports (worst examples smack too much of a desperate nerdy/recluse/The Game tendency and are shot through with odd social autism about women) but the posts where men share, without pussyfooting, home truths they observe from experience. Especially things like business negotiations, management challenges, negotiating disagreements, getting your shit together. Relationships and dating too but from a RP perspective which is not pedestalising the women issue, but rather the success and self-fulfilment of which that is a part.

          [–]SetConsumes 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          You ever read any Illimitable men?

          [–]adam_varg 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Man, i can stomach Rollo's writing, but Illimitablemen takes it to another level , pages of what could be paragraph, and i am used to reading some heavy shit.

          [–]SetConsumes 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          You would lose meaning if you reduced his essays to mere paragraphs.

          Illimitable Men's writing style is college level. Rollo is high school level.

          [–]adam_varg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Well yeah but i dont think his topics needs this 'high level' of writing, its not philosophy or some classic literature criticism but basic psychology/sociology/whatever. Maybe i am not smart enough, or my english isnt good enough but i am sure it can be explained less longwinded (as my comments for example) by better writer.

          So i draw the line at rollos writing, illimitable is imho in intelectuall jerkoff territory.

          [–]Ricardo2991 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          This, expect you should flip the way you say. People only care about themselves and their own interests. No one gives a shit about you, except for how it affects them.

          [–]MontmorencyWHAT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          The corollary is - take responsibility for yourself and be courageous.

          [–]StuttererXXX 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          I learned this the hard way but now I enjoy the idea of knowing that nobody gives a shit, it makes me more relaxed and careless.

          [–]LOSERFROMHELL 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          You can have your own tribe who give a shit about you

          [–][deleted]  (22 children)


          [–]femaiden 14 points15 points  (3 children)

          Yeah I think this thread is personal for a lot of people. My dad I and get along like brothers... ride motorcycles together, hang out, shit he even comes to my beer league hockey games sometimes. My mom and I fight for fun because we're loud ass Italians, but at the end of the day have eachothers backs... but this thread seems like a few people with chips on their shoulders.

          I mostly just lurk here, but to me the whole Red Pill thing seems to be about getting the most out of life and the people in it, not isolating yourself. Sure having control over your life and your decisions is an integral part, but to say no one gives a shit about you seems a bit extreme.

          [–]Drogba006 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

          Nah bro unless youre creampie-ing 10 girls a day after knowing them for 10 seconds who already have boyfriends/husbands and making them get abortions, are a millionaire and you tell other men to fuck off if they even look at you, if you cant bench press 1000 pounds then youre a little beta omega pussy.

          Real alpha delta sigmas are walking gods and everyone men and women included suck their cock and bow to them because theyre delta gamma zeta theta alphas.

          Thats what its all about here right?

          [–]sharkfinnsoup 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          You're right when things are going well for you or when you're seen to be doing things that seem socially respectable.....but, when things go wrong in your ordinary life, it can be a little different. I'm 51 and speaking from experience - I was previously mega successful in the business world and am still partially respected in social circles...yet... This post makes sense. Whilst you're doing well or even doing ok, everyone (pretends to) care(s) about you. But when you're really down, be it only temporarily, you'll find that 99/100% of your friends don't actually give a shit (shadenfreude?)....until you completely cut them off and some may reach out through regret, when they see their own vulnerability. The only exception I ever knew was a (red pill alpha) friend aged 78. In other words, someone who didn't feel threatened by any of my success or setbacks, that we all have occasionally and who understood what challenges we have as men. If you maintain a solid, loving and stoic relationship with sons, then yes...they do give a shit. But never complain and always be working to progress. That's what sons want to see in a father. One who never backs down. PS....having embraced an RP mentality, many of my (ex-alpha) blue pilled friends have become hostile towards me, feeding off (be it covertly) my temporary setbacks. Say no more....their relationships suck!

          [–]whythecynic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is where I come from. A deep realization that, in your deepest darkest times, it's only the ones who don't care about what you do who care about what you undergo. I don't exaggerate when I say "nobody", because just as you do not know the temper of steel until you smite it, you do not know the depth of a friendship until you hurt it.

          [–]Sinikal12 3 points4 points  (3 children)

          I think the point of the OP is that you must always have a plan B with your relationship to other people.

          [–]Quintary 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          If that means constantly doubting that anyone cares about you, that's not psychologically healthy. No man is an island and it's harmful to yourself and those around you to think that way. Being resilient and independent is one thing, undermining your relationships with others is something else. Don't confuse the two.

          [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 8 points9 points  (1 child)

          Then you're not a leader, and you're not interested in being an Alpha. The top is lonely. No one fantasizes about the harsh realities of possessing power, but they certainly desire its benefits.

          Besides, no one said anything about undermining relationships. You're interpreting a pretty basic post that boils down to simply, "Look out for numero uno before anyone else," and extrapolating, "fuck everyone besides yourself, they're all blood sucking leaches." Come on.

          [–]TheDialecticParadox 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          This is good. This is why I love TRP. It's not just an echo chamber of agreement and emotional circle jerking. There is unapologetic conflict and logical debate.

          I completely agree with what you have to say. The motivation for self-improvement can come within, but at the end of the day, we are all social, shallow, and needy creatures looking for appreciation, respect and admiration from our peers. It is one of the primary motivators for what drives the greatest inventors, innovators and artists. To deny that is obnoxious.

          Your analogy of marines in trenches is also something that truly can't be appreciated outside the spectrum of military service. Although i haven't fought in a war, the mateship and comradery I found in the military completely smashed the perception displayed by the OP that i used to also believe. I wouldn't want to live in a world without my closest mates. Thinking back to the days when i struggled to maintain a few friends, I simply can not, and will not believe that walking the path alone is beneficial.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)


            [–]whythecynic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I'm glad to stimulate discussion. It's a nice change from getting shouted down in so-called liberal politics. But enough about that.

            DialecticParadox brings up precisely my point. We are all shallow creatures looking for the validation of our peers. It feels good. And people know it makes you feel good, and instinctively use that for their own benefit. You won't know who's really on your side until you've taken a hard fall.

            As for the military- indeed, you share the world while you're in the service. But after you leave, you find your individual ways to happiness, because your lives are no longer united in one purpose.

            And, aptly enough, it's only a true RP who will stay true to his friends. I've watched my old buddies get stomped by bosses and wives. They think that's happiness for them. I don't think they're happy, but it's their realization to make.

            [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You're way off base I think man. Perhaps you're interpretation is being mixed with some preconceptions about a more destructive train of thought. OP's message is just another blunt reminder to watch out for yourself, for those who are very likely failing in that basic aspect. Maybe that is inconceivable to you, that someone would naively become vulnerable in a way that defies common sense, but it happens a lot. It's one of the whole points of this sub; white knights became a toxic archetype for a reason.

            [–]DadOnDabs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

            I was depressed for a long time and wondering why no one would love me. I realized and internalized the fact that no one really gave a fuck about me. I only started to feel happy when I learned to love myself and cared about myself the way I expected someone else to.

            [–]brinkleybuzz 11 points12 points  (2 children)

            Fuck happiness. It's way overrated. Let women spend their lives chasing their tails seeking "happiness".

            Self satisfaction is what men should seek, the feeling that comes from accomplishing measurable, tangible things ... improving your physique, earning a degree, building a business, rebuilding a car, seducing an HB, winning a championship, becoming a millionaire, etc.

            "Happiness" is so subjective, impossible to define. Accomplishment is not.

            [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Great addition. The amount of blue shills in this thread indicates a severe fee-fee alert. Seriously, just look. Young bucks and enlightened souls providing their tired condolences: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but the world has so much to offer and you're shutting it out because you're insecure..." It's disingenuous, and reeks of projection.

            Their assumption is hypocritical, that this message could resonate with anyone must indicate a lack of perspective. There are times to discuss the pleasures and rewards of a fulfilling life, in fact, remaining positive is indeed the underlying message of OP's post as well. However, for those whose fragile life equation depends upon a happiness-constant, how dare you be skeptical of the, "power of love," in any and all interactions. Just open up guys, let everyone in. Sounds just like a bitch: How dare you withdraw access? What could go wrong? "You must not be human."

            [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (4 children)

            If you believe that your parents do not care deeply about you, then you have very fucked up parents. My parents would have given me their heart for a transplant if required. I would do the same for my kids. Most (not some) of the parents I know are the same. You live in a fucked up and scary country if this is your reality. I feel sorry for you and for anyone who upvotes, or agrees with this. Apart from parents, siblings, children and close friends, your post is correct (unless you and your family/ social circle are weird fucked up lower class losers).

            [–]NibblyPig 13 points14 points  (2 children)

            Yeah, the OP is a bit misguided in saying your parents don't care for you. You're biologically programmed to protect your offspring no matter what the cost. While there are a few exceptions, the majority of the world would go to considerable lengths to save their offspring.

            [–]whythecynic[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            You're biologically programmed to ensure your offspring have more offspring, and part of that involves protecting your offspring. But look at places where it's socially acceptable to disown or even kill your children for violating marriage and childbearing norms, and you'll realize that it really boils down to the grandkids.

            Of course your parents care for you. They sincerely love you. It's their biological imperative. But they do not necessarily want your happiness. Keep that in mind.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            dunno why you got downvoted. some sensitive people in this thread.

            a lot of parents suck. they're shitheads. it's true. and it doesn't always have to do with it the country you were in either.

            not to mention /u/88Will88's comment about your family being weird fucked up lower class losers is stupid as hell. I guess they think they're superior because they haven't had to deal with certain situations that are a reality for others

            [–]supersonic-turtle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I would also add, its not your business what other people think about you, or say about you. Your business is to be happy with yourself so to hell with everyone else' sentiments about you.

            [–]The_Alpha_One 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            While I agree with this post wholeheartedly, I want to point out that people will pretend to "care" if you effect their life. They "care" to the extent that they think you can improve their life. They only care about how you help them feel happy and how you help them achieve their own goals.

            I specifically wanted to call this out for those of you, that think that their situation is different, it is not.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)


              [–]The_Alpha_One 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              That's how you feel, but is that how they feel? Are you a friend of convenience will they really help you towards your goals? Look at their motivations.

              The only ones left in my life are the people who I care about enough to help them on their goals and path, who also reciprocate that level of friendship. Trust me if you were considered a friend to me I would help you get rid of a dead body, but if you aren't, and don't have the potential to be, idgaf about you.

              I stay loyal to my family, and even though some members can be shady at times I will always be there for them. It was a general statement as some of my friends came from toxic families that they had to abandon.

              [–]asaye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I spent many years suffering from the aftermath of a shitty upbringing and a series of personal tragedies. For a long time I thought that there would be someone out there who would see past the facade I put up to make it look like I was alright, and then that person would be the one to help save me from myself.

              Well I'm here now with the best years of my life wasted in fear and isolation, with nothing else but the realization that no one else but me can help save me from myself and a burning desire to see whats left of my life make up for all that I was denied.

              No one is going to know you like yourself and when the world leaves you broken from its bullshit there is no one else in it but you who can have the strength to endure.

              Even if no one else can see that strength it doesn't matter, you can, and you're all that does.

              [–]1DaBaulz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              You are the only person RESPONSIBLE for your happiness.

              If you're the only person who cares about your happiness, then you need to fix your life. RP can help that.

              [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Now this is a fair objection to the semantics. Better than I can say for a lot of the misconception and butthurt in this thread.

              [–]Fnaut3187 8 points9 points  (4 children)

              This is precisely one of the realizations you have once you find Manosphere!

              [–]plenty_of_eesh 17 points18 points  (3 children)

              Sorry, but my grammar OCD really needs that to say The Manosphere.


              [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                [–]TheWorldToCome 17 points18 points  (7 children)

                Most parents have their children for their own selfish entertainment, watching you grow up and play with you. But as soon as you start getting in the way of their own happiness then they quickly stop caring about you even though they were the one who forced you into existence.

                [–]thewrightstuff88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                The worst are the ones who live vicariously through their kids and think their kid will become the next Lebron or Venus. Work hard but keep your head out your ass and be realistic

                [–]Thewelshpill 5 points6 points  (5 children)

                i wouldn't say it's for entertainment, it's more to give their worthless existence something to live for.

                [–]projectgenesis 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                You all must not have kids. We talk about biological urges all the time when it comes to getting chicks and how they work here. Making kids is what is natural and IS the reason you are here.

                [–]Thewelshpill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                i missed part of my own point. i mean women who have nothing going for them in life, no career, a rocky relationship, bad support system, financial issues etc. that suddenly decide that having kids is a good idea, then proceed to complain about how hard it is being a parent. like really?

                [–]asotranq 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                I believe that some people have kids because they are losers and no adult respects them, so they have kids partially for the ability to throw them around and tell them when to go to bed and what they can and can't do.

                [–]Xornor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                There are huge amount of wrong reasons to have kids.

                Unfortunately not so many gets them for right reasons.

                [–]GoodOlBaw 6 points7 points  (22 children)

                I'm sorry you have no friends/family or a wife/girlfriend that cares about you. All you RPers must have some serious fears of abandonment for you not to let anyone in. Life isn't a series of events full of people looking to work you over. Sure you can cultivate your own happiness but for me, experiencing things together, as a family, or as a couple - That's what true happiness is. I used to think i was the only one in the world who cared about my own happiness, and accordingly lived a life of debauchery, spinning plates and getting high. But that's not the way things are at all. Life isn't about swallowing one pill or the other, its about finding that happy medium, and taking the good from both sides and applying it to your life. Not bashing anyone in this sub, it's been very helpful and I've learned a lot from it, I just think some people forgo having a truly fulfilling existence, and play it safe instead. But then again my idea of a fulfilling existence is probably much different than yours..

                [–]throwboaway111 6 points7 points  (18 children)

                No, we've just gone through the wringer enough times to realize Santa Claus isn't real.

                Everyone isn't actively trying to work you over. The vast majority of them don't give a shit and don't even think about you. And even the ones who are trying to work you over are mostly lying to themselves about what a great person they are while they're doing it. Even Hitler was a good person in the story he told himself in his head.

                But consciously or not, your friends and family are only there because you give them a benefit. When the benefit stops, so does the relationship. Most of the drama people encounter in their lives is people ginning up self-serving excuses to try to end relationships or distance themselves from people. They need a reason that doesn't make them look bad to do whatever they already wanted to do. So: fight for a year before you get that divorce, rather than just say you think your husband is a slob.

                If you think there is anyone else in the universe who cares about you for you, then you've never experienced ups and downs in status. Those of us who have know that relationships all flip like a switch at once. Lose your job, no one wants to talk to you anymore. Get a little bit of fame or win the lottery, suddenly everyone is your friend again.

                And wives? You think she's going to love you if you put on 200 pounds of fat? Or lose your job and can't get another one? Or your face gets burned up and you're suddenly hideous?

                Would you really have even started dating your girlfriend if she was 300 pounds? No. You wouldn't look past the shallow stuff any more than anyone else.

                Your kids? You know how many people have kids who don't visit them in the nursing home? Even the BEST you're going to get is a visit once a week or so, and that's if they live nearby.

                That's just how people are. We can't help it. You can deny it and try to live the fantasy, or you can realize it and stop doing things you don't want to please people who don't really give a shit about anything other than the part you're playing for them in the fantasy in their heads.

                [–]whythecynic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                TRP awoke me to the fact that our attractiveness to others is literally a fantasy, a construct in their minds. That's why masculine mystique is an important part of a passionate relationship. It keeps both man and girl on their toes and (the girl especially) hungry for more.

                The next enlightenment was the nugget of thought that became this post: this extends to every relationship you have with others. Break the fantasy, and you become worthless. Such is the nature of society. It is, after all, one shared fantasy of justice and fairness.

                I'd sincerely love to sit down with you and /u/sharkfinnsoup and hear your stories some time.

                [–]GoodOlBaw -1 points0 points  (7 children)

                That's like your opinion man. For every 100 people that do behave the way you're describing, there's 1 that does just the opposite (i happen to believe the number is much higher, but just for the sake of the argument I will err on the side of caution and use a low number). Some people might disagree but i think it's worth it to open yourself up and behave in such a way that allows you to find someone like that. I've been cheated on, I've lost my job, struggled with substance abuse, but at the end of it all, I have a greater faith in humanity bc I might not have survived all of those things were it not for surrounding myself with the positivity and support of others. Maybe that makes me weak. If my gf gained weight it would mean some other aspect of her life was lacking, and we'd work together to figure out what that was and solve the issue. And if it didn't work out, then that's just the way it goes. But to say on the surface that someone would base their behavior on outward appearances and first impressions is (i think) absurd. A lot of people do visit their families, myself included. The older I get the more I realize just how important family is. Maybe I'm jsut fortunate enough to have been raised in an environment that is conducive to that behavior. Maybe i'm also getting TRP confused with MGTOW....

                [–]throwboaway111 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                "But to say on the surface that someone would base their behavior on outward appearances and first impressions is (i think) absurd."

                Life is absurd, I guess, because that's what virtually everyone does. Go on Tinder and try to get a date with a pic of an ugly, fat guy. Not happening.

                And why aren't you dating a 250 pound woman in the first place? There are probably lots of them with great personalities. Any guy with dating problems on here could fix them by dating a burn victim. Not her fault, anyway, and there's no non-shallow reason not to.

                But you're an animal, and I'm an animal, and our genes tell us what to do. The rest is all rationalization after the fact.

                [–]GoodOlBaw -1 points0 points  (2 children)

                What ?? Fat people get dates on Tinder all the time....

                [–]throwboaway111 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                Either from (a) people who fetishize them, and thus find them attractive, or (b) people who don't have much to offer themselves, and thus have to settle.

                But you do not see men who aren't attracted to fat women going on Tinder and dating them because they have good personalities. If they did, there wouldn't be any men online complaining they couldn't find women.

                I could say the same thing to women. Set that Match.com filter to a MAXIMUM height of 5'7, and every woman who complains she can't find a good guy would suddenly have a flood of men who no other women wanted, lots of them with great personalities.

                People won't do it.

                [–]GoodOlBaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Sorry to burst your bubble, but again. This happens all the time, all over the world. Crazy i know.

                [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                  [–]GoodOlBaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Finally, yes. I get the appeal also. But to think that its the only way an AWALT is just silly

                  [–]GoodOlBaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  I'm referring to all these folks talking about the "poor saps who just don't get it." Poor sap signing off

                  [–][deleted]  (8 children)


                    [–]throwboaway111 2 points3 points  (7 children)

                    So you're 22? 23, tops? That's not old enough to know anything about anything.

                    The "bullshit I'm spouting" is coming from being older, knowing what happens as you get older, and acquiring wisdom and experience. You're absolutely right. At age 22, when you're working at a summer camp, people don't give a shit about your job.

                    Why? Because working at a summer camp is not much higher on the status ladder than being unemployed. Your status barely changed at all because you never had any job-related status to begin with.

                    At 22, your friends are benefiting from you in other ways. People don't care about job status. They care about how attractive you are, whether you can get them into good parties, whether you can introduce them to people they can fuck, et cetera, et cetera.

                    Try being 40 and losing your job as an executive. I can promise you that you'll see a difference in how people treat you. Many of your friends will ghost you and come right back again when you find another job. In your thirties or later, people want different things from you.

                    I can also promise you that the vast majority of the people you are friends with now are not going to be your friends when you're 40. You won't benefit them anymore, so it will become a chore to hang around you. So they'll stop. If you're 22, you've barely had time to go through a couple of friend groups (high school and college). When you've gone through a few dozen, and you see how few people keep in touch with anyone, you might change your tune about how you're best friends forever, cross your heart hope to die.

                    It's just how people are. We're animals at our core. You can deny it, but you can't change it.

                    [–][deleted]  (6 children)


                      [–]throwboaway111 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                      I've never lost a job, but I've quit one, and the same thing happens. You can't do people favors anymore, then suddenly most of them are gone. People will instinctively avoid others who they feel are on the way down status-wise. It's just what we do.

                      And while some older people don't ever acquire wisdom, someone in their teens or twenties is not going to have enough experience to be wise, period. It just can't happen, no matter how smart you are. There isn't enough time. You probably haven't seen friends have kids and then suddenly drop away from all their other friends because that social circle no longer benefits them. You haven't seen kids distance themselves from the parents who raised them to live their own lives (and whose parents only really had them for selfish reasons anyway, like "I have such great genes" or "he'll be my retirement plan").

                      You can disagree with me, and that's fine. But you are falling for other people's bullshit, and you are falling for your own bullshit. Everyone makes their decisions with respect to other people based on self-interest. Then they lie to themselves about why they did it to feel better about themselves.

                      If you start looking at what other people do, it is virtually always explainable by self-interest. If your friends drop out of your life because you moved, or they had a kid, or anything, then how great a friend were they in the first place? If you won't date a woman because she's 300 pounds, how much do you really care about "personality?" If she won't date you because you're homeless, how much does she care about who you are inside?

                      The answer is they don't care, and you don't care, and at the end of the day it's nature red in tooth and claw.

                      The sooner you realize this, the better off you're going to be in life.

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                        [–]throwboaway111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        That's fine. But let me point out to you that I would have agreed with everything you are saying right now when I was in my twenties, too.

                        Watch people and what they do, and you are not going to find people who don't act out of self-interest. There is always going to be some motive there. They will lie and pretend, and they will lie to themselves. But the self-interest is always there. Start watching yourself with a critical eye, and you'll see the same thing.

                        It can't really be otherwise, if you think about it. You're an organic computer. You are programmed to act the way you do. Your programming was developed through trial and error over thousands and thousands of generations. This happened in a nasty, brutal environment where it was kill or be killed. Anything that didn't help survival or reproduction would be overwhelmed by traits or programming that did.

                        So humans can be social, to the extent it helps them survive or reproduce. To the extent it doesn't, people stop caring about those relationships pretty quickly. At our core we're as self-interested as every other animal is.

                        Watch the people around you, and you'll see.

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                        It is because he's seen more than you. You come from a place of abundance because you are young. You have no idea what grit means until your body fails and everyone around you abandons you.

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                          [–]Rando9937 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Well you have to accept that there is value in wisdom, and that as you age, you learn. After all, your viewpoint telegraphed your age to all of us, because we have all been there. Imagine having a conversation with a 13 year old boy. You'd be able to give him pretty good advice due to your life experience, right? The same goes for those of us in our thirties speaking to people in their early twenties. Think about how much you've learned in the past 10 years, even when your brain wasn't fully developed to think rationally. Now imagine how much you will learn in the next 10 years.

                          There isn't an argument here, because we are speaking in generalities. You are right, nobody of any age can predict your future for you. But, if you stay alive, you will learn.

                          For what it's worth, these selfish elements of human nature have been exhaustively replicated in psychological studies. I could cite them directly, but I think you should first read Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. It's an amazing book that basically breaks down human cognition into its fundamental components, all of which are rooted in our biology.

                          Morality is just a side effect of our biology; it ultimately drives very little behavior. Altruism exists, but it is almost always one-sided.

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                          That's not the point faggot. The point is you could be hit by a car tomorrow so appreciate every moment.

                          [–]GoodOlBaw 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                          Whoa whoa whoa no need for name calling good sir

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Locker room talk includes an element of hyperbole sperg. In other words, why care what a random internet says? Ego brosef.

                          [–]noaydi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Simple post for interesting thought. For me it's only a phase of maturing. Because paradoxaly when you begin to think like that you end sharing more to other "what you are" for the better or sometime the worst.

                          There is no "strong need" to see the world as "I'm alone fuck all - my "happiness" (or whatever) first" (Ive done that a bit after a depressed phase, it give you a pat in the back for sure)

                          what op say should not be drawn to extremism. It's a realization wich will make you a better version of yourself in some social way, There is still stuff you continue to do "for other".

                          The filmmaker who have make "inception" (Christopher Nolan) spoke about that in an interview if I remember correctly (not refering to what I said, it's more about the title of the post).

                          [–]TomFoo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          When I discovered this sub a year ago, I was broke, getting divorced, and figuring out what to do next for a living as my old job/career was shit.

                          The moment I realized I don't need to go through another divorce or breakup again, don't need to get married again, don't need to have kids (thank god i don't have any), don't need to live with a woman again, don't need to make my parents happy (coming from an asian family, this was the hardest), don't need to be held personally accountable to anyone besides myself, it was utter-fucking-ly liberating. This was not depressing for me at all, it actually cured the shock, pain and loneliness I had at the time. Felt like I won a spiritual powerball.

                          While almost everyone I know --both men and women-- is racking their brains day and night trying to find a significant other/life partner/ball-n-chain (or if they have one, they're just trying to get by) I'm just having the time of my life on my own terms.

                          Life gets seriously interesting when you promote yourself to King, start acting like you own the room wherever you go, and report to yourself constantly.

                          The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.

                          [–]sadbasturd99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Life gets seriously interesting when you promote yourself to King, start acting like you own the room wherever you go, and report to yourself constantly.

                          What the fuck is so interesting about working at Burger King ?

                          [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          Shit is too real. Shut it the fuck down.

                          [–]SouthernFit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          I give a shit about me... and for very good reasons too! Definitely the most liberating thing I agree 100%.

                          [–]RedPillFusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This is the core philosophical difference between RP and MGTOW - abundance mentality.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Oh believe me. But knowing this and understanding it intuitively are very different things. I recommend reading a book like art of seduction or 48 laws of power and applying it to see how quick people forget your misdeeds and silly shit you've done because they're constantly living in their own worlds. This will help you a lot with social anxiety and dressing the way you want to and many other things.

                          [–]larryjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Yeah, good to know.

                          The next step of understanding a truth is to use it for your purposes (right, that's what most lack in their life).

                          People don't give a f-ck about you, indeed, in the sense you're saying here.

                          There's only two ways, though, for people to care about you:

                          1. They gain something if they care.

                          2. They lose something if they don't.

                          It's about bargains.

                          You have a purpose, you need to achieve it.

                          You need to use people, you need to give people something for them to give something back.

                          You exploit the transactions using Hope, which you sell in conjunction with the real chips, so they give you their chips in return.

                          This is how boom and bust cycles are created.

                          Value is in the mind.

                          To exploit a transaction you must exploit the perceived value.

                          [–]TheGinnnnnnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This is totally true, unfortunately truth wont stop you from slitting your wrists in the bathtub. Best of luck!

                          [–]notveryzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Love the concept above with the obvious caveat that family does matter for most. My family absolutely cares about my happiness just as I care about theirs. I'm a parent and I have parents so I know both ends of that relationship. My parents would take a bullet for me and would to this day. The bailed me out literally and figuratively many times when I was younger and the world was close to crushing me. They didn't do for their amusement or because they wanted grandkids. They did it because I am a part of the family and that's what we do. And I feel the same way about my kids. They are total fucking rock stars and make me proud every day. And I would take a bullet for them. And I don't care if they ever have kids. And nothing in my life even comes close to the level of contentedness that I get from seeing them be happy, successful, and content. Nothing comes close. It's tragic to think that anyone wouldn't get to experience that feeling. Sure it's great to find a 25 YO girl who will let you stick your thumb up her ass but that good feeling is a bit more fleeting than what you experience with a tight knit supportive family. Fuck the rest of the world, but my family, my team, they've got my back and I've got theirs unconditionally. And that's what it is all about for me.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          The cosmos do not care if you live or die. Life will go on as it always has. You are not important.

                          Accept reality and make the most of what you got. Create an internal kingdom and fight for your happiness.

                          Great morning motivational post. I'm off to the gym.

                          [–]scamper_22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          This shit right here. The world broke me down and i came to this realization as well.

                          I actually confronted my parents about things to which they literally responded with 'ur on ur own'

                          That it came from my mom hurt, but i loved the clarity. Im just there for caretaking and providing grandkids.

                          They dont owe my anything. It was a crystal clear realization that was empowering. I now just focus on me and what makes me happy. If ur in my life and can be a positive time, ur welcome. Beyond that... fck off.

                          Its great if people have good friends or parents of mutual benefit. Just know the its just like any other relationship and no one owes u anything. U make ur world.

                          I got to the red pill by having it shoved down my throat, but im glad it did.

                          [–]parodixicalreaction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          It's not that nobody gives a shit about you. It's more the fact that you can be who you want, do what you want, and people generally aren't looking too deep into your actions. Plenty of people care about you. But I can see if you had fucked up parents and friendships where this mentality would come from.

                          [–]WhySoRuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          WTF are people raving on about?

                          This is a good post using hyperbole to get you motivated.

                          If you took this post literally than you're probably a sperg who can't decipher who really cares about you and who's faking it.

                          [–]WhiteTrashKiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          YOU'RE DYING! YOU'VE BEEN DYING SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN.......

                          Most don't get it. They ignore it, they fear it.... Fill out your living will, last testament, DNR What have you... You will wake the fuck up and realize you do not matter. Your death is already written...... Take the approach that you have a gas tank that is capable of getting you a certain amount miles, how you travel those miles is up to you.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Actually people give a shit - when I comment too much on facebook my waifus remove me from friends list. Didnt happen back when I had actually attractive picture though

                          [–]Coccelo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          An erroneous notion in many ways. The world doesn't benefit from more egocentrism.

                          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

                          You shouldn't care about yourself.

                          That's the first step to not giving a fuck about others.

                          By that I don't mean to make yourself unhealthy and stuff line that.

                          I mean, that you shouldn't be attached to who you think you are, because that's not who you are.

                          If you realize that 90% of our personality is composed by what OTHER people think we are, you will then ask yourself what do other people think you are, and then ask if thats really who you are or want to be.

                          When we lose our sense of self we become like water. We become formless, and as that happens we become whole because from that point on we start getting in the flow within everything we do, and evryone we meet.

                          True freedom is when we are uncategorizable. We can be everything we wan't.

                          If you wan't this, then I advise you to get into meditation and buddhism.

                          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                          "should be", "you think". It is not, of course. Realizing that it is your judgement of yourself that matters most is only the first step, true meaning and freedom lies in a sense of belonging, to a people, a cause, a group, a tribe.

                          [–]Nagicman1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                          Just fucking lol at this cope, lots of people give a shit about me.

                          [–]Dubsland12 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                          Or possibly your parents received more joy from their children than anything else in their lives and want you to have that same joy. If however that will make you a miserable SOB then for Christ's sakes don't have children. Or, maybe your parents are just self absorbed asswipes.