892
893

Building PowerRejections makes you a Man. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TheShearerComplex

Show me someone who hasn’t gone through multiple prolonged periods of rejection/failure before, and I’ll show you someone who is unfulfilled.

The strongest swords can only be forged under immense heat and pressure.

Look around you right now, look at people constantly filtering, hiding, playing it safe, trying to fit in, fearful. Hiding behind their ego, avatar, mask, whatever you want to call it. They live on the surface level, avoiding any meaningful confrontation or challenge. Never growing.

Behind their sock puppet persona, it’s safe there, they can delude themselves...they can construct their own reality, where in their mind they are successful. They can live vicariously through reality TV, social media, gaming or fiction.

They are missing the one true fuel for success. They are resisting the one portal that will introduce a man to his real power, a mirror into his soul.

Do this game long enough, and there’s really one unifying experience that we all must go through to reach our goals, whether it’s the gym, women, career, school... it’s the reason we are drawn here.

Rejection and failure.

Failure is success and success is failure. Ying and yang if you will. You can’t have one without the other.

You see this realisation is what makes a real man, an Alpha. A real man will at any given moment shed his mask get right up in rejections grill, stare straight down into those cold dark eyes, feel the heat, and the searing pain....then he will nonchalantly just smirk and laugh to himself. When you can truly accept rejection and can fully take everything it can throw at you, that’s when the real power shifts.

You’re unstoppable.

You now have infinite opportunities. No girl, gym or career can give you a greater feeling then that realisation, it’s like you finally beat yourself and you realise that’s the only person you ever needed to beat all along.

Let me tell you, men who don’t fear rejection in this game, have the power. When a woman can see you don’t give a fuck either way, there’s nothing she can say or do which will even have minuscule impact on your psyche, YOU now have the power in the interaction/ relationship. There is nothing more attractive. It’s nature’s aphrodisiac.

The key thing to realise is this mindset can only be earned, it can’t be faked for any real length of time. There are no shortcuts. The universe made it this way, it’s your challenge as a man.

So get out there and earn your stripes, earn your power, earn your manhood. Be warned the universe won’t give it up easily so prepare to suffer many battle scars, that’s part of the journey... it’s not just normal but required. After a while it will weirdly start to make you feel even more alive.

Why wouldn’t it, it’s the tool the universe has given you to help you find your true best self.


[–]Spudkins 377 points378 points  (3 children)

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."

[–]o0joshua0o 63 points64 points  (1 child)

"Expert - n. Someone who has made every possible mistake in a given subject area"

[–]crowscountingspades 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Great definition. Even though I'm a leader in several fields of endeavor, work AND hobbies, the fact that I still make mistakes proves I still have more to learn! (And the fields themselves continually advance and change -- so there's that to keep up with too!)

[–]menial_optimist 291 points292 points  (30 children)

"Rejection is preferable to regret" is a phrase floating around here lately I like a lot.

[–]upstairstraffic 69 points70 points  (2 children)

"If you are afraid of rejection then prepare for a life of mediocrity."

[–]seserta 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Pain is the path to growth. And growth is born out of pain. Suffering is the only way to true fulfillment. If you don't think that's the case, climb a mountain. Run a marathon. When you reach that end, that peak, after a gruelling amount of hard work, THAT feeling that you get, is true happiness. Whether you are alone or with someone, that happiness is going to be there for you at the end of that line. Cross it.

[–][deleted] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

"Better to aim high and fail than to aim low and succeed."

[–]Peter_B_Long 11 points12 points  (11 children)

I try and keep this in mind as much as I can. Unfortunately, fear of rejection outweighed regret for a moment yesterday. I was at the market and I noticed a HB7 with a great ass. I could tell she was a gym girl cause she had on an athletic outfit and she had bananas and water bottles in her cart. We made short eye contact but I didn't think much of it. I was just observing.

I go to the other side of the store and she passes me again. We make eye contact and she passes by. Again, I'm kinda just focused on buying my shit and getting out of there. Didn't really think about approaching. I approach this dude and ask if he knows where the body scrubs for men are. He helps me look and this chick sees me interacting with this guy and being friendly. I make a joke as I thank him for helping me look and he laughs while patting me on the shoulder. I have everything I need, I look around and I see the girl down the isle on her phone just chilling there. Subconsciously I knew that she wanted to get approached but I didn't realize it until I was already leaving the section. I said "fuck it", turned my cart around like a romantic novel and headed her way. My heart was beating fast. I was getting nervous. I saw her in the same spot but I just hamstered myself out of it. Just excuse after excuse. "She's by the tampons, that's a weird place to approach" "there's a lady close by, she's gonna know I'm trying to hit on this girl" "I didn't sleep well, I'm not 100%".

When I finally accepted defeat I felt like a straight up chump. I know now that I should've just done it. Who cares if that lady knows I'm hitting on this chick. Who cares if we're by the tampon isle, it's right next to body wash / hair care it's not a big deal. Who cares if I haven't slept? If I can pull this off with only a few hours of sleep, imagine what I could do next time with a good amount of sleep.

I definitely learned from this shit.

[–]menial_optimist 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Yeah she clearly seemed interested. I mean, it's not necessary to approach every girl that gives you IOIs, but clearly in this case you wouldn't mind going in on her. Lesson learned. I haven't even gotten to the stage yet where I'm approaching a girl so you're already farther than me. My guess is after a few approaches and some successes, approaching will become almost nothing.

[–]Peter_B_Long 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Yeah I'm sure I could've gotten a number or at least her instagram. I need to work on my day game. I started approaching only like a month ago but it's all been night game. I'm usually drinking so I'm less nervous and approaching a girl at a bar / social event is totally ok and I've been mostly successful with my approaches.

Approaching a girl at Walmart next to the tampon isle is much less ok lol. But I'm not gonna get good at day game if I don't fail, and you definitely need to start cold approaching. I don't know why you're not doing it.

[–]Nocryingok 1 point2 points  (2 children)

C'mon man, is your goal really to get her number or "at least her instagram"? Not judging you if that's your fetish, but I don't believe you.

When I approach a woman, my goal is to get to know her and get her to know me. If things go right then have sex and a connection. AMALT so I figured this could be your goal too. Make sure to know what you're aiming for!

edit: corrected coherence

[–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well yeah duh of course I would've loved to be balls deep in her in the shampoo isle but like I said in another reply, I have not day approached. I just started night game a month ago and I've just been kinda focused on that. It's like weekdays = goals, healthy habits, career, etc. & weekends = night game, going out, hanging with friends.

Yesterday I just kinda came to the realization that I should be aware of doing day game. I am ready. I bitched out from approaching this chick but I guess you could say that was my first day game experience and a lesson was learned.

Getting her number or social media would've been good for me. I'm just starting off so a number is a good goal to start off with. I mean, haven't you seen the field reports of dudes going up to girls in the day just to say they look cute and awkwardly walk away? Everyone has their little goals they're trying to accomplish.

[–]Nocryingok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

alright as long as it motivates you, let's go

[–]menial_optimist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'd say approaching a girl in a walmart in the tampon isle would show balls, and women like balls. You're showing you don't give a fuck what isle you're in.

I'd say the objective should be comfort in sober cold approaching. Sure drinks help etc but its ultimately a crutch in my view that should be discarded as soon as possible.

[–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is true. Instead of feeling embarrassed about it, I should've felt prideful with a dgaf about our surroundings attitude. I'll keep that in mind.

Well I did approach a HB6 at my gym the other day and got her number. I only had 2 whiskey shots before coming to the gym so I wasn't too drunk (joking), so I guess that tells me that my sober day game isn't shit.

[–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I alway make a conscious effort to NOT THINK after saying "fuck it, I'll approach her"

You came so close, yet didn't cross the finish line. You know what to do next time and good luck man

[–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah I know. I just gotta be more conscious about it. I gotta tell myself that I need to be aware of every potential approach opportunity. I guess I wasn't mentally "ready". I was too focused on my shopping list, goals for the rest of the day, chores I gotta take care of when I get home, etc.

[–]Nocryingok 1 point2 points  (1 child)

hell no, don't go the way of "approach on every opportunity". I've been there and it's HELL. Couldn't walk in the streets without thinking "should I approach this girl, that girl". It wastes so much of your time...

If a woman wants your D, she'll give you massive IOIs like the girl in the supermarket did. Otherwise, I don't think it's smart to go out approaching girls randomly. If you want to practice then just make it a day to go to the mall and cold approach 10 of them but you'll see how it's different from when they are inviting you in

[–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really have time to go out with the sole purpose of approaching girls. I think I can handle a healthy judgement call on what girls to approach and which ones to just let go.

What I meant by "I need to be aware of every potential approach opportunity" is basically to just be more mindful and "ready" when I'm out in public. Instead of going to walmart with the mentality of "just get in, get your shit, get out", I can just kinda slow down and be more aware of any attractive girls and any IOI's. I noticed the IOI's from the supermarket girl way too late and that's because I wasn't aware at all about potential approaches or game.

It seems complicated but I guess I'm just telling myself that I need to start taking more action with day approaching.

[–]Godskook 170 points171 points  (8 children)

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

-Michael Jordan

My favorite quote along this line.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Out of curiosity, did he actually say this? Or was it written for him for a commercial or something?

[–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Doesn't really matter. Probably the latter.

If you're interested in michael jordan you might enjoy that.

[–]alecesne 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Better to retire clean than expire dirty-

[–]Godskook 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's apparently from a commercial, but the writer's sentiment is supposedly written with the intent to reflect Jordan's opinions.

http://archive.is/w1R1U

What's more, it's a reproducable sentiment by anyone here who's achieved something. I'm just crediting Jordan because he -did- say it.

[–]armydoctor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that quote!

[–]Mach2Machiavellian 71 points72 points  (8 children)

In addition to helping a person learn, failure combined with a healthy attitude also makes the person more resilient and resourceful overall. Because with each failure comes the realization that it wasn't the end of the world, and the sting hurts less and less each time (again, with the right attitude).

This, in turn, fosters the level of courage needed to really soar. Truly great things don't happen to timid people.

Added: This, ironically, makes men the more fortunate of the sexes because they are the ones who are expected to take most of the sexual/romantic risk. Assuming they accept that role (I'm looking at you, incels), this means a lifetime of trying, failing, and succeeding at possibly the most essential human endeavor: finding a mate. That, right there, is a built-in vehicle for individual development of character, creativity, and tenacity that can be applied to every other walk of life.

Women, on the other hand, can (mostly) passively sit back and choose from the mates that come to them. This may seem like the more enviable position, but it actually deprives them of a vital, lifelong channel of self-improvement.

[–]EminemLovesGrapes 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Exactly.

I've even read on here some girls would reject men, and depending on how they took it they even gave them their number anyway! Because they took it so well.

It might even give you some bonus points.

Don't be that guy that gets angry, salty, follows the girl, calls her a whore/cunt/variant, and loses control. (incel/beta).

Sometimes nothing is more attractive than a man who can take a punch.

[–]alecesne 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Biologically, daughters are the safe bet, sons the gamble. Death catches us all, be it the battle field, the birthing bed, or the freeway at 4 am on a Tuesday. There’s no better sex or race, there is only the life you have and the future you make with it-

[–]Mach2Machiavellian 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I didn’t say men were “better,” I said they were more fortunate, in terms of having more of a built-in incentive to strive.

[–]alecesne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a value call, so hard to measure. I agree, both success and failure are amplified if you're male. So it's very important to succeed!

[–]curveball21 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't agree with this sentiment 100%. I know women who strive to improve themselves if they don't like the quality of the ltr relationship offers they are getting. Both pre and post-wall. I think all of us benefit from self improvement and the motives are not entirely different either.

[–]Mach2Machiavellian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never said women don’t do anything to improve themselves. Obviously they do. My point was that men, because they are expected to take the lead sexually/romantically, have a relatively greater built-in incentive to strive and toughen themselves to failure.

[–]boxxybebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So good

[–]Guardian_of_Justice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That, right there, is a built-in vehicle for individual development of character, creativity, and tenacity that can be applied to every other walk of life

This is evolution at the individual level, almost a way for universe to constantly improve itself. Almost made me cry. In some way, i am grateful for my misery. Now i have learned, accepted, forgave and adapted myself in many aspects of life.

[–]bicboi52 46 points47 points  (4 children)

In life, it’s not the genetic guy who wins or the guy with the most potential who wins; it’s the person with the greatest perseverance who wins. Always be willing to get up and go at it again and again. That’s the guy who has his hands raised later in life. That’s the guy you guys need to be. – Greg Plitt

The difference between a winner and a loser – they both failed, but the winner gets back up and does it again and again until it goes his way. – Greg Plitt

RIP to the man who turned my life around.

[–]Locoboy713 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The road to success is a very lonely road. You’re not gonna see too many friends. It’s only you with your shadow. Once you get there, many people will love you, also many people will hate you. Because your success is a huge spotlight, shining on their failures. #Legend

[–]Veretox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like trains, but otherwise, nice quote!

[–]ImportantMechanic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You totally need both. The kid that grew up being aware of his intelligence through middle and high school and suddenly eats shit at the university where he encounters a new subject or world gets tried the most. It's also why parents who keep praising their kids on how smarter they are to others are unknowingly put even more pressure on their future performance.

If you were unlucky enough to been born with genetics that are shitty it is far more preferable and actionable to hone that little that you have and maximize your potential output, than sulk in the corner and be a bitch about it.

[–]GreatGoldSphinx 50 points51 points  (0 children)

This sub needs more of these types of posts.

The only person you need to be better than is yourself. EVERY SINGLE DAY, work on becoming better than you were the day prior. Write down your mission(s), stare at it every day and put in the work needed to achieve success. If you can live by that mantra, you will be unstoppable.

[–]ktorr1546 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I love this post! I am a guy who struggles with rejection. Reading stuff like this makes me excited for the rejection that awaits me in business and dating.

[–]Fearofthedark88 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Hows that for people that label this place as toxic. Seems pretty philosophical and uplifting to me.

[–]gainz88 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'd understand why women would see it as toxic as TRP preaches that they're replaceable and women hate feeling replaceable.

What baffles me is how any logical man can see this community as toxic when it is so centred around self-improvement and growth. The teachings about women also knock their importance in a man's life which only sets you up for success both in terms of women and in terms of your life as a whole.

[–]COCAINE_ADVOCATE 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When you can truly accept rejection and can fully take everything it can throw at you, that’s when the real power shifts.

Clearly advocating rape. /s

[–]richardhead6666 29 points30 points  (1 child)

You are so correct! My failures have made me suffer but with time and a looking glass turned inward has let me grow to surpass anything I’ve failed in my life. My failures now fuel me more to move onward and upward! Thanks for the inspiring words!!!!!

[–]ReformSociety 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Use less exclamation points. As in zero.

[–]lurktolearn 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Nice post

“Warm weather makes for soft men,” or something like that.

After a whole day of being denied of what I wanted, I felt like shit. I took the shitty route of being invisible and expecting the predictable for the rest my day. After reading your post, I got reminded that rejection = growth.

I’m ready for another day. And expect other people are too.

[–]Veretox 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sons of summer won't survive when the Winter comes ~ probably Ned Stark

[–]rad_dynamic 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I needed this right now. Being new to The Red Pill has forced me to face rejection on an almost daily basis.

I was angry, clueless as to why this so called "Truth" wasn't working. The truth is, that I wasn't working the "Truth" correctly. After each rejection I have faced, I have slowly improved. After each rejection I have seen a glimmer of the "Truth" that this site promotes. I know that it's going to take a lot more rejections before I'm anywhere near my potential.

Without The Red Pill, I wouldn't even be getting rejected. Rejection is a sign of action. If you're being rejected you're atleast doing something. Weather it's rejection or success, you're still being active and trying to succeed and I think that's the most important thing. To me, The Red Pill is about taking action and oppositely, The Blue Pill is about being inactive and letting your life slip through your fingers.

[–]TheShearerComplex[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re getting there

[–]WhichWeAreWeAre 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If you aren’t failing, you aren’t doing anything.

[–]Thunderfin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yep... as covered in Models, rejections are crucial for you to not only gain experience and confidence, but also, to filter the types of women that fit your desired demographics (as part of the Assortment Effect).

[–]bookloverphile 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I wish i could adopt this attitude

[–]markthelegacy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What’s the point in tormenting yourself?

[–]FeelTheBernieSanderz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wishes are for kids. Goals are for adults.

And goals only need discipline and dedication.

Now, turn those wishes into goals, even the wildest ones and plan your path.

[–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true. Wow, thanks for that

[–]SubhumanOxford 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I asked my ex best friend for a date knowing full well she'll reject me just to get used to rejection!

[–]peacemakerzzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Rejection is what turns a boy into a man.

[–]redlittleboot 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Saved, I really needed this man... Thanks.

This makes me think of Elon Musk, he has failed a lot of projects and lost tens of millions of dollars in a single day but is right now one of the most successful and powerful people of the world

[–]AmazonExplorer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it’s like you finally beat yourself and you realise that’s the only person you ever need to beat all along.

I needed this post, beautiful.

[–]Gucci2xsayit2x 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look around you right now, look at people constantly filtering, hiding, playing it safe, trying to fit in, fearful. Hiding behind their ego, avatar, mask, whatever you want to call it. They live on the surface level, avoiding any meaningful confrontation or challenge. Never growing.

The past three years for me has been full of adversity and failure. It was tough, but now I'm in love with it; And I'm doing better than most guys I know now too.

[–]spencerc25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To me, one of the most important aspects of rejection and failure is the OPPORTUNITY to get introspective. I capitalize opportunity because many get sad and don't improve. However, those who are self aware, have the option to find the flaws and improve. This is the position of power after failure and rejection.

Failure sucks in the moment, but you sure won't grow out of being Billy Beta without it.

[–]AsAb0veSoBel0w 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I sent this to some of my guy friends who really needed to read it. Though, I found this to be pretty unisex and empowering to me, as a woman. Good point, OP.

[–]boxxybebe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

A lot of girls don't like being here, what draws you to this sub?

[–]AsAb0veSoBel0w 5 points6 points  (1 child)

My views on masculine sexuality are vastly different than most of the women I've discussed it with. Most women hit me with the "why aren't you a feminist?" fallacy . I think it's wrong to demasculinize men, especially men who choose to identify as a man (but that's another topic lol).

What distinguishes friends from partners? Intimacy and sexual interaction. I prefer my men to be sexually dominant (but also allow room to exchange roles). I don't necessarily mean for a man to be dominant and I be submissive, rather, the way he approaches me and basically "takes what he wants" (while also caring immensely to give back). I mean, if just any random guy did that, it would be a problem; you have to get a sense of the interaction you have with a woman (or whoever it is you're pursuing). If the chemistry is there and you can read their body language and tell they're interested, be assertive. Majority of the time, women prefer assertive men.

This whole gender politics and leftist agenda is garbage. It makes me cringe. Maybe it's just provocation but whatever it is, men (nor women) shouldn't have to be PC to please the masses. That kind of limitation of speech can genuinely cause a lot of anxiety and developmental issues. I could get really into it but I'll refrain from straying off topic.

I'm also very wary of phytoestrogens in practically all of the prepackaged food in the grocery store, meat being fed soy products, hygiene products, etc. Women on menopause take soy supplements to promote estrogen production. Why are men consuming these things that are quite literally biologically demasculinizing them? It's definitely a conspiracy theory I possess lol.

Additionally, I like to explore controversial subreddits and read ideas that I don't agree with. It makes me develop better arguments for or against an idea. Though, I don't disagree with what OP wrote.

[–]boxxybebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was a great answer. I feel like you're ahead of your time

[–]Angu_jungle_poo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right on the money. Enjoy your problems, savour them, let them surround you like water.

[–]MostSolidFrame 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is quintessential Red Pill truth. Bitter and necessary. Thanks for taking the time to write this out, OP!

[–]Actanonverba11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more you get rejected, the less it affects you. It just becomes another "oh well" moment, and you move onto the next one.

[–]seducter 6 points7 points  (10 children)

I went through an intense Jan to Mar and was rejected by a shitload of chicks. Got a bunch back to my place but couldnt close and they ghosted. Now I just feel numb, like that scene from Private Ryan where it’s like the shellshock shit.

I just look at chicks and feel disgust, disappointment and indifference. Like I shoulda gotten some fuckin results.

Sorry had to get this out and just feel like “rejection is awesome!” posts piss me off when I look through the lens of my own experience.

[–]Bluefish680 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Chill out a bit lol I went through 6 months of rejection but I played it off as the normal chance of playing the game. I could have locked down a regular gf but I take the high road instead.

The way I think about it, game should be played with a casual, hobby-ish attitude. It's a fucking game lol it's not like we are trying to find the one out there. So you screwed up, so what, they are all just chicks. And rejection is not awesome. To me, the ability to take rejection lightly, now that is awesome. Sure sometimes there would be a girl that makes me sad for not pulling, but then I only think that way because she got boobs a little bigger than the rest. It's pure physical reaction.

Think about it. I mean really think about it. The last time I see a guy scrubbed off rejection and acted like it was nothing, I was jealous of the guy's indifference toward it all. That's respectable to me. I want to put myself in front of rejection and see if I can act like that. It feel good when you can just laugh it off like that. And don't think you should've gotten some fucking results. The ego won't take the defeat easily. My mindset about game is that "I am just a guy, bouncing around the world on his own balls." There are millions of normal guys like me doing the exact same thing. Some do better, some worse. But this thing I am doing ain't gonna make me any holier than the rest of the male species. Don't feed your ego, because while you can stick it out for another month, your ego will always be the weaker self that whispers 'you should protect me and not go out anymore'. The ego is like a pathetic child- the more you feed it, the fatter it gets, the lazier it becomes, and the more it wants you to feed it. I say starve the fucker.

[–]seducter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man I think you hit the nail on the head. I've been letting my ego get to me and as a result stopped putting myself into a position where I would get out of my comfort zone and able to take rejections like a champ.

That guy you described, shit that's powerful. To be able to take rejection and not even be phased.

I really appreciate this comment.

[–]TheShearerComplex[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

3 months is absolutely nothing. It will take you 1-2 years to get any decent results, depending where your starting from. You are absolutely not entitled to results just because you took some minuscule action.

Either give up like 90% of guys or man the fuck up and keep plowing on.

[–]seducter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is good advice. It's a bitter medicine like Buckley's, but it works.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (4 children)

And thats a good thing to have.

[–]seducter 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Thanks man, sometimes its hard to remember which way is up. Just gotta keep improving myself and not taking the rejections too seriously. It’s actually more the time wasting spent setting up a coffee meet, meeting them, setting up a follow up at my place, doing that song and dance, and then finding out it was all a waste. Almost feels better to just say fuck trying with women altogether but that doesn’t seem right.

[–]shayme98 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You had them back to your place. What happened? Learn from it.

[–]seducter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

One said she moves “granny slow” but in the same evening explained how all her friends are guys and also would never meet on a weekend. I got the feeling she was banging these dudes for fun so I ghosted her.

Another one gave last minute resistance so I went back to watchin a movie. Then went back to making out and she said “maybe I should leave”, and I fucked up and said “no no it’s all good”. She stayed and made out a bit more but it was clear she was holding back. Shoulda probably told her to just go.

Another made out on the first date and was very excited to see me (I matched her on tinder and had an ab pic so she knew I was in good shape, plus we talked about exercise and had a lot in common as it is a huge passion of mine and chicks love passionate dudes right?). Next day she send me a long text about how shes not like that and would actually prefer we be gym buddies instead. I said I got wnough gym buddies.

I cant see any commonalities except I kissed them all (except Granny Mode). Maybe I’m a shit kisser, but hey I started late and they don’t give you feedback at this stage.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could have said "cool lets be gym buddies" and then dont.

[–]jinglebells89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

EXCELLENT POST. Best of this forum category for sure.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Show me someone who hasn’t gone through multiple prolonged periods of rejection/failure before, and I’ll show you someone who is unfulfilled.

Frat bros from a good frat dont undergood prolonged periods of failure/rejection. They are fulfilled.

I would say there are two paths to fulfillment/success: one of success and one of failure.

Some people get success early and just keep on building on it - be it with girls or career. These people are immensely confident and everything they touch becomes gold.

Other people do not have success from an early age and build themselves through sheer grit and determination but its very difficult and what you describe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such powerful words, my brother. I've saved this post, just so I can read it over and over again. I feel a strange power when I read your words.

[–]GearGolemTMF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My close cousin always told me and still does "The worst she can say is no." While it hasn't really clicked for me until the last 3 years, while playing a ton of Destiny, I've changed my motto to my favorite gun in that game: Up For Anything with the flavor text reading; "Risk is its own reward". I never used to take risks because most would end in failure. Now I'm more open to "Shooting my shot and I've grown far more confident now than the old me ever was.

[–]Doom_and-Gloom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's the case, I think I'd rather be a woman. XD

[–]wayneinthegame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"

-Frederick Nietzsche

[–]ConcealingFate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's true. One of my coworker who is currently miserable living with his ex for his daughters kept saying how I'm lucky to have new girls every once in a while. I asked him: How many times do you think I was turned down?

So one night we went out and I got rejected about 6 or 7 times until I got a phone number. I don't think he approached anyone since.

[–]urbanbooks140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Suffering is like steroids for the mind..it either makes you super buff or have erectile dysfunction or both

[–]AllahHatesFags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how Bill Burr compares it to stand-up comedy when he says you just have to go out there and bomb many times to get good.

[–]MattED1220 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking of rejection, it just happened to me the other day. I asked this girl in my former department if she wanted to grab coffee. She agreed. Great. Then on Tuesday asked her to go but she said she couldn’t but she could on Thursday. Awesome. She cares enough to reschedule. On Thursday like maybe 45 minutes before she cancels and doesn’t say anything about going another time, but if gonna keep backing out better off. She said she had lot of work and wasn’t leaving her desk. Turns out she did actually leave her desk and went out. Just so happens a friend in that department told me when I told him we didn’t go.

Honestly, I thought I’d be more upset that she cancelled but I really wasn’t. Stung for about a minute and moved on with my day. I used to really overthink why that person didn’t want to be with me and go crazy trying to figure it out. However what’s the use going crazy over a girl. She coulda rejected me for a million different reasons. Hell the reasons might not even have to do with me. She could be into another guy. Not looking to date. Or maybe she just hates where I place my commas in a sentence.

I guess what I’m trying to say is we are all the center of the universe. The stars of our own show so we take things personally. It very well could be she doesn’t find me attractive or one of the reasons above but it really doesn’t matter. One girl thinks one way and 100 more think another way. As long as you live with no regrets rejection won’t be bad. What’s bad is when don’t go out on a limb. If you never ask...it’s always a no. If you ask it might be a no also but def no regrets.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should fight, right. Rejection makes you strong, right. But sometimes you feel you are spending your energy in the wrong place, which is dating market. I mean why not investing in a more productive thing?

[–]lazydogg9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is better to do something and regret rather than regret for not doing something.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

[–]modTheRedPike 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't hotlink subs.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“If you aim high you’ll miss high, you might end up low but you’ll still hit the target if you aim low you either end up low in the first place or just missing the whole thing.”

[–]guddu69bryan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apt. I needed this one. Thanks for the post.

[–]COCAINE_ADVOCATE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really need to get used to this idea. I am so afraid of rejection that I play it safe and think a dozen moves ahead to maximize my chances that she's interested. I've fucked more women than I've been rejected by. Way more. That's not a good thing. That means I'm probably settling more than I'm being challenged.

A girl I chatted with after a couple of dates fizzled out said, "I was really attracted to you, you should have been more aggressive". Sure, part of it was apathy, she was a 6.5/7, but I spent more time putting value on her IoI's into some kind of formula to try and deduce if she wanted dick or not.

[–]U-94 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The best steel goes through the fire.

[–]Beerbeer007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

View them as annoying NPCs...

[–]ChildOfTheLostTribes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I may add something: even the king of the jungle, the lion, doesn't kill every prey he chases.

[–]amedeo_modigliani 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Injections makes you a Man. Steroid injections.