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Red Pill TheoryWhy you must believe AWALT (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat

Just posted this as a comment but hey, it'll do as its own post.


The important lesson behind "AWALT" is the same as in the zen story about the glass being already broken.

One day some people came to the master and asked ‘How can you be happy in a world of such impermanence? The master held up a glass and said ’Someone gave me this glass, and I really like this glass. It holds my water admirably and it glistens in the sunlight. I touch it and it rings! One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. And I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.

...

What causes anger, stress is that things don’t go the way we expect them to. This time, expect that things will go wrong. And accept it. Expect your partner to be less than perfect, expect your friends to let you down, expect plans to go awry, expect people to be rude, expect colleagues to not do their share, expect the glass to break. And accept it

If you firmly believe your girl will cheat eventually, then you naturally arrange your life and your mindset around this inevitable eventuality.

  • Because you know she will eventually cheat, you plan your exit strategy from day #1.
  • Because you know she will eventually cheat, you avoid moving in together until it is really necessary. Because that just makes the breakup messy. And if you do move in together, then you plan your finances in such way to minimize your losses when she cheat and you have to breakup.
  • Because you know she will eventually cheat, you make sure you don't sign any contract with her (aka marriage) that will allow her to force you to shed a huge section of your assets in the breakup, unless it is really necessary. And if you do marry, then you plan it to minimize your losses when she cheat and you have to divorce, and you accept that you might lose it anyway, as well as access to your kids.
  • Because you know you will be back on the SMP eventually but you don't know when, you keep you body fit and your game sharp at all times.
  • Because you know she will eventually cheat and this LTR will end, you enjoy every day of this relationship with her while she's faithful and bringing good in your life.

And while you do all of this, it has the added benefit of minimizing the chances of her cheating (or rather, increase your time with her until she eventually does), because this belief of yours will translate in your attitude as a passive dread and low neediness, which are very attractive to women, as per the cardinal rule of relationships.

The importance of the TRP concept "AWALT" is not to accurately describe women or not, to disparage them or not, to paint them all with the same brush, or to discuss the accuracy of this model of their behavior (is it a spectrum? is it not always true? who cares?). These don't really matter. Believing fully AWALT is important to get you in the right mindset.

You know you have understood AWALT when all along your LTR, you do not expect her to stay faithful and you do not expect you two to stay together after it happens. And when the day comes that she cheats, you just smile, feel the emotional pinch but stay calm, say to yourself "of course" like the master in the glass story, and simply implement your exit strategy.


[–]1GreenPiller 373 points374 points  (38 children)

Only men who have seen their women completely turn on them know the true definition of AWALT.

[–]Docbear64 170 points171 points  (1 child)

Absolutely the same woman who will tell you that you are her everything is the same one who can tell you that you mean nothing to her. Embrace that whatever she says or feels is only in effect right now and may change in a day , a week , a month , a year, a decade. Enjoy the moment and if a different form of her appears tomorrow be prepared to respond to that version of her not desperately holding onto a past version of her.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

not desperately holding onto a past version of her.

I realize I'm a bit late to the party but this reminded me of my first serious girlfriend. What you said could not be anymore wise. Now I'm married and I know better!

Very well said.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

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    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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      [–]wastelandchic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Was most likely a borderline.... look into it and study it so you don't get sucked in by another.

      [–]CanuckinFL 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      it's cause we are a commodity, it's not even about love to them, it's about infatuation. Once past that, you're done, its just a slow or fast moving clock.

      I said: clock. :)

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      It's not almost sociopathic. It's the definition. Men have a function in a woman's life. That function has value and is completely fungible.

      [–]FinancierGuru 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      She doesn't love you. She loves the way you make her feel. Big difference.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]dontbedenied 29 points30 points  (0 children)

        "Beware of wisdom you did not earn." I think Carl Jung said this. You can read TRP all day long but you need to see this shit in the trenches for it to really sink in.

        [–]room_303 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        Amen, just like your dick is perrfect when they contending for commitment and candy, but a birthday candle when she finds another branch or two.

        [–]sleepkeeping 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        “This too shall pass.”

        Important to keep in mind when in a LTR. She may be happy and lovely right now, but it will change. Maybe tomorrow.

        Important to keep in mind when in a LTR. She may be a harpy menace right now, but it will change. Maybe tomorrow.

        Keep hammering on.

        [–]42-AX 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Oh man it's a terrible pain, but it's such strong encouragement to pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

        [–]crash11235 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Truest statement all day right here. I also agree with OP’s post, good stuff all-around.

        [–][deleted]  (17 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 52 points53 points  (8 children)

          you can't deny that there are many successful marriages / LTRs.

          I deny this.

          So-called "successful" marriages and LTR's include huge male sacrifice and compromise.

          [–]1Original_Dankster 31 points32 points  (2 children)

          That's just it... >50% end in divorce. Of the remaining, what portion are cold marriage situations, where it's like roommates with children? What portion are angry households? What portion of the husbands are still pursuing their hobbies and maintaining old friendships? What portion do men have the economic freedom to not grind their lives away to satisfy her frivolity?

          I'd bet less than 10% of marriages actually "work"...

          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 17 points18 points  (0 children)

          More than 50%, and female initiated more than 70% of the time.

          I'd bet less than 10% of marriages actually "work"

          Most marriages work as intended: legally mandated support of the woman.

          I can't see that even 10% of marriages are good for men after the first 3 years.

          [–]Hung_Chad 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          In the spirit of The Red Pill being about reality, I encourage men to do their own research about the divorce rate for their favorite class of female. The numbers presented here may be inflated. For example, I’ve seen very low numbers for college educated career women. Closer to 20% first marriage failure. Still uncomfortably high, but less fatalist.

          I still agree with the zen mindset, of course. All around healthier.

          [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          You can have a successful LTR/ marriage but it is wise to know that all relationships have a use by date. The glass is already broken. I have had great LTRs, she did all that she was supposed to do, supported me, worked hard, provided money (from a rich family) and was a fantastic lover, friend and life partner. Then it ended. Humans are not monogamous. The reason people think marriages are not successful if they end is due to the toxic blue pill delusion of happily ever after. One can have great short and long term relationships with women if you are alpha enough and you make her pull her weight. It’s not even hard.

          [–]cellphon 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Absolutely.

          The way I see it:

          50% divorce rate

          25% sexless sham marriage on paper only

          20% honeymoon phase of the relationship 1-5 years.

          5% mythical unicorn marriage where the men gets his sexual needs met on tap and is able to be masculine in the relationship

          Now don't get me wrong, like all relationships, marriage will be decent the first 3-5 years, but then after you run out of your bag of tricks, sex comes to a stop and she loses all respect towards you. By then you are financially in the hole, have kids, emotionally crippled and the sunk cost fallacy raises its ugly head.

          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          5%? As high as that?

          This might be true, but I've never seen it.

          marriage will be decent the first 3-5 years, but then after you run out of your bag of tricks, sex comes to a stop and she loses all respect towards you. By then you are financially in the hole, have kids, emotionally crippled and the sunk cost fallacy raises its ugly head.

          Absolutely.

          [–]shortgiraffe9000 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Why are you guys being so negative? I know this is cheesy but what if you marry someone that you have friendship with. Actually, that is not cheesy. What about marrying someone you could have friendship with?

          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          It's simple statistics. Look around you. Look at the vast majority of marriages today.

          It's a male fantasy to "marry your best friend". Women are not your friends. They are not on your side.

          Grow up and let go of the need to believe the blue pill delusion.

          [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          Read "Schrödinger's (n)AWALT : Right now, she (never) love(s/d) you. E.g. tingles uber alles and why finding a "unicorn" is a waste of time."

          This will help you understand what the top comment is trying to get you to understand.

          edit : Really on the downvote? Still looking for that unicorn blue hair?

          [–]Chaddeus_Rex 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          look at your average EE man living with his wife and maybe one kid.

          He's overworked, stressed the fuck out because salaries are low, he is generally overweight or skinny fat or skinny, doesn't take care of himself, doesn't have any hobbies beyond coming home and playing video games (that's why Russian modders/gamers are very good) and that is why you hear from EE how many guys will come home and start playing video games after work.

          Many EE are hoes too - go on women.ru and read the admissions of women with how many men they slept with. For most women on there, their partner count is >25 some reach 50. It is irrelevant whether this is in a small town in russia or a large sprawling metropoolis with 10 million people.

          [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

          Only a sith deals in absolutes - Obiwan Kenobi

          [–]1Original_Dankster 18 points19 points  (1 child)

          "Blah blah blah" - character from children's fiction.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          lol it was just a joke , calm down old man.

          [–][deleted]  (39 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]internet_badass_here 14 points15 points  (10 children)

          I've fucked my way through probably a dozen women over the past two years including a bunch of escorts and I'm still suffering with my emotions. Suffering from heartbreak even though I know the object of my former affection was just another thot. It's just so fucking grim, it's hard to deal with. Women experience these periods of absurd infatuation, and just as quickly as it comes on, it's gone. Meanwhile I can spend 10 years stuck on some stupid hoe.

          It's just hard to accept that no one will ever love me... God it sounds so lame writing it out. I know damn well I'm not truly broken inside yet, even after so much disappointment. I know I can still love. I still want someone to love, to love me back, and to go through life with me. Being truly alone in the world is grim, depressing, and demoralizing. How can I build a life with a stranger I can never fully trust?

          I don't want to believe in a lie. I want to face reality but at the same time I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to cope with that. Fucking an endless stream of thots is not the solution for me. I need hope.

          [–]ThrowFader 15 points16 points  (5 children)

          The problem isn't what you grew up believing about women.

          It's about what believe about life.

          Life is an inherently fucked up place.

          Feelings are illusory. It's all just animals acting in accordance to their nature.

          I'm sorry, friend, but no one will ever love you the way you so strongly desire.

          Life is not paradise, but you can try to make it one. Good luck.

          Invest in yourself, disregard all else at that expense.

          [–]king_of_red_alphas 10 points11 points  (3 children)

          That’s a bunch of shit. Most people won’t love you, but SOME will. Will they love unconditionally? No. Of course not and neither would you (outside of children).

          But men and women can love people that are (for whatever random reason) close to their heart.

          This is much different from infatuation and lust, mind you. It’s usually a mutually developed feeling derived from lots of subtle connections to the person.

          Now it doesn’t mean this person won’t betray you (like Fuck Chad) but that doesn’t mean the love never existed in the first place.

          [–]look_in_the_mirror 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          Thanks man needed that! I know somewhere out there is a cool woman I can share my time, even if it is for a short duration.

          [–]ThrowFader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          You are not alpha please sit down

          [–]internet_badass_here 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thanks my man, I'll keep at it.

          [–]ChadThundercockII 11 points12 points  (3 children)

          Well get a way to cope with it. I am in the same boat as you. It's depressing when it dawns on you. No one will ever love you like you mother did when you were a kid. No one will ever love you like its portrayed in the movie. But you know who can give you something close to it? You.

          Make it your hobby to get to know who you are. Put yourself through pain and suffering. Discipline yourself. Do dangerous things. Face your fear. Indulge in nihilistic pleasure. Expose yourself to life and it will show you who you are.

          [–]internet_badass_here 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Thanks my man. We're all in this together, yeah? I'll work on it.

          [–]ChadThundercockII 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          A great man once said:" We are all gonna make it bruh."

          [–]Ihatemoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Thanks, needed to read this today.

          [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 18 points19 points  (1 child)

          spot" You know what you are doing, but you aren't fully broken yet by being straight up jaded.

          You say "jaded", I say "accepting reality".

          [–]1Original_Dankster 16 points17 points  (9 children)

          Once around 40 N Count is where, my best guess, is where many guys just say Fuck It and decide the game is too wearisome. Thus if you are the type who wants a LTR, I'm thinking between 20 and 30 N Count might be the practical "sweet spot"

          Very astute. I might question the numbers, but the notion that you become jaded as your own n-count goes up is absolutely spot on.

          Huffy little men on this sub react badly when I say MGTOW is what most Red Pill men eventually graduate up to become. They try to shame and slander MGTOW as if it's all incel virgins resigning themselves to their fate.

          Bull shit.

          I used to mod one of the most active MGTOW forums, years ago, and I learned a lot about the demographics of that sub culture. About half of all MGTOW were older divorced betas, and at most less than a quarter were incel. The remainder were dudes like me who had very high n-counts and just got bored of gaming broads.

          [–]ComradeDurdenTRP 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          Huffy little men on this sub react badly when I say MGTOW is what most Red Pill men eventually graduate up to become. They try to shame and slander MGTOW as if it's all incel virgins resigning themselves to their fate.

          My hypothesis is that these men still cling on to the 'happily ever after' illusion. Sure, they no longer subscribe to the blue-pill version of it. That is, a loyal and supportive wife, a McMansion, 2.5 kids, white fence, etc.

          Instead they've supplanted it w/ a new one that seems more RP-friendly. To wit, they no longer aspire to be the stable provider workhorse but rather the popular bad boy who bangs a new super model-tier thot or two every weekend.

          By all means, become a man of value: lift, sharpen your social skills, advance your career, etc. But understand that there's no 'happily ever after'. Even if you become a real-life version of Christian Grey, women will still be women. They'll want to suck your dick now, true, but they will shit test, they will cause pointless drama, they will play mind games. And 99.99% of them are interchangeable.

          Doesn't mean you shouldn't try in the first place, of course. But there's no pussy Valhalla where only Chaddiest of Chads go after making over a thousand successful cold-approaches, n-closes, ONS, Tinder bangs, etc.

          Even if/when you reach a level of success/abundance where you're banging several plates at once, you still have the rest of your life to live. Are you going to dedicate that time to increasing your notch count even more or will you strive for something greater?

          [–]1htbf 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          So do MGTOW just abandon sex and women?

          How do they keep their social skills sharp? Gaming is useful even outside of sleeping with girls.

          [–]dontbedenied 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          Good observation about MGTOW, although I think your numbers are off, at least in respect to the sub on Reddit, which is the only forum I have experience in. There is some good stuff there but way too many angsty incels.

          Your last sentence sums it up very well for me. I like fucking women but I'm so tired of their volatility and games and expectations.

          [–]1Original_Dankster 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Reddit is generally a young demographic overall, so the prevalence of divorces betas will be lower. But there's a shit-ton of MGTOW who don't post about it online at all.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Not sure it’s guys bored of banging broads.. more like men who are fucking tired of the mind game bullshit

          [–]1Original_Dankster 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          So we agree then - I said they get bored of gaming broads, not necessarily banging them. But they determine that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Some find a FWB, others give up, others pay-for-play.

          [–]ChadThundercockII 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          I went on the escort path when I first found the manosphere. I probably did some 20 or so different women and some were repeats. Somewhere along the line I lost the happy vibe I used to get when I talk to an attractive woman. Now they are all copies of each other. Same look and same behavior, with a variety of fucked up-ness here and there.

          There is no going back from this. And today, I realized I dread it when women are attracted to me. I am satisfied with getting laid. I don't need emotional bonds with them.

          [–]Bandos15 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Would you do it again? or do you think you would be happier if u never visited those 20 something escorts?

          [–]ChadThundercockII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          No, I like it this way. Emotions take away too much energy and you get blinded by their effect. I don't want to wake up one day, in bed with a woman I regret knowing, while she and the state have me by the ball sack. I'll take my whore over a regular woman anytime.

          [–]hb8only 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          the funny thing is, even if you really find AWALT, even if she is really different.. she is still ageing every day.. so after certain years of fucking all the same hole, which is ageing as a bonus, you will be bored of your unicorn...

          [–]SoulofEquality 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          You're ageing right along with her though...If she's able to stay loyal to you as you get wrinkled, lose libido, lose muscles, gain weight, etc shouldn't you be able to do the same?

          Don't get me wrong, I actually think that it's unnatural for our species (both sexes) to engage in lifelong monogamy. But if a man finds a woman who is loyal to him for years and brings actual happiness and ease to his life, it should stand to reason that yeah time goes by for both of you.

          [–]clme 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          Isn't a logical consequence of what you are saying the fact that Chads should be the earliest to become fully aware of AWALT? Since their looks allow them to push through the N 20 and N 40 boundary by the end of their teens / college years? In this case, the perception that they are assholes is correct, but they weren't necessarily that way: they become assholes / jaded because of early AWALT awareness.

          [–]sorry_mommy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Don't think so. Natural chads wind up some of the most bluepill adults. They crush plenty of pussy throughout their adolescence into early adulthood, but they usually wind up getting locked down early in marriage and wind up deeply unhappy because they haven't learned the long-term dynamics between men and women, or they coast past their grace period and find themselves unskilled and pointless, and lazily settle into loserdom.

          [–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          No one can hold a cover story forever.

          KGB spies would beg to differ.

          But to be serious, in order to get a n-count of even 20, a man must have a sky high smv.

          [–]bad_news_everybody 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I can't claim a high N count but family law has been an absolute eye opener. Before I discovered the term AWALT I knew only "the person you are with today is not the person you will break up with, that person is a stone cold bitch".

          TRP hard been a fun read from that perspective.

          [–]breakfastburrito24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It took this post to make me reflect on my N Count and look back at the patterns with all of them and notice the one in my current situation. Thanks, dude. Happy Holidays

          [–]wbminister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Great piece - this is truly something I can "swallow".

          Merry Christmas to you as well.

          [–]TheReformist94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Perfect advice from someone who is not an armchair theorist.thanks for this wisdom. Most people shouted down here and get called a cuck for being human and hoping nawalt

          [–]mgtowolf 216 points217 points  (7 children)

          It looks a lot like pessimism or cynicism, but it's not really. Expect and plan for the worse, but hope for the best. It's hard to have your cage be really rattled when you have that outlook on life.

          It's like a good defense mechanism. I carry a gun for example, not because I am frothing at the mouth to pop someone, but because I loathe the idea of being defenseless. It's a defense against the worse case scenario, and oddly enough it helps me keep my cool. I know if I misuse it for some petty intimidation or something stupid, I will be absolutely screwed.

          [–]will713 44 points45 points  (5 children)

          Honestly carrying a gun is gravy and all(im a texan) but for this exact reason. I practice Martial arts(boxing, kickboxing) not because i want to fuck someone up, but because i know i can. It helps keep my cool and not lick any sona'bitch I see starting shit. One or the other is self defense both are lethal. Honestly it develops frame.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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            [–]Fryguy48 14 points15 points  (0 children)

            "We learn to fight, so we don't have too" is what my martial arts teacher tells me. The reasoning is, people can feel when you know how to fight (or at least your confidence) and will (usually) avoid starting fights.

            [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

            With great power comes great responsibility.

            [–]mgtowolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Yes, training in unarmed and armed combat is a good thing as well. I took muytai(probably butchered the spelling) when I was in my 20's, it was fun and learned some good ways to hurt someone if I ever need that tool.

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle. - Sun Tzu

            [–]1Original_Dankster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            "It looks a lot like pessimism or cynicism..."

            Definitely not cynicism, this advice is much more grounded in stoicism... I mean in terms of philosophical disciplines.

            [–]parodixicalreaction 60 points61 points  (2 children)

            "The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."

            [–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Damn. Shakespeare was uncannily correct when he likened love with war.

            [–][deleted]  (11 children)

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            [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Exactly, the origin of AWALT is that women exist as states. Therefor unicorns don't exist as a different woman but a woman in a different state.

            "Unicorns" are women who have not yet confronted themselves. They don't know what they're capable of in a loss of attraction.

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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              [–]1YouLoveThisBTW 20 points21 points  (1 child)

              Go buy a Porche. Drive it home. Revel in the feeling of owning the perfect driving machine. Drive it like your pants are on fire. Remember that high.

              Then drive it everyday. Rain, shine, traffic...

              You think for a second your perception of that cars value in your life will be static? That you won't eventually lose those amazing feelz? It's human nature, not just AWALT.

              The problem isn't that she won't hold the same perceived value. Its an impossible expectation. The problem is that when it inevitably fades our society has lost the social constructs which encourage her to be faithful, to value and respect her man even when she starts to see the faults.

              How do you respond? Sure, stay on your game, lift, be the best you can. But never forget the glass is already broken. And don't blame yourself when it breaks.

              [–]king_of_red_alphas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Man. Sooo true. I learned a lot about myself and how transient the happiness of obtaining an object that you lusted after for years really was when i finally drove my “dream car” home from the dealership.

              I literally felt like I was high or something that first ride. I thought back on how poor I had been as a kid and smelling that leather and hearing that engine and feeling that power - it was otherworldly.

              Fast forward 2 years. It’s still a cool looking car but now I have memories of things breaking on it. Annoying ergonomic issues and bad designs.

              Eventually that car was a fucking headache and I was actually happy when it got rear ended by a limo and totaled.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                There is no fairness in this life. She will always give her best to the next dude with next to no effort on his part. Rinse and repeat.

                Men win by playing our own game. Abundance is a way of life.

                [–]1ozaku7 12 points13 points  (4 children)

                The question is why she doesn't give her own best self to Chad. A theory might be that she gives away the pussy constantly to Chad but in turn didn't get in return what she wanted from their relationship. So she jumps to Bill, and with the experience in mind that giving her pussy away for free on a daily basis didn't give her what she wanted, she started to keep it to herself and make Bill work for it, what apparently works. Chad would dump her for it, Bill respects her for it (while yet it starts to annoy him later on).

                That's one theory, and understanding why she doesn't give her her best is essential to building a lasting relationship where she does.

                I've read about women from the sidebar that one wife was in gangbangs in college but a total prude with her husband and that she was all scared about his respect towards her. She saved the best for last, but the bigger truth is in the fact that Chad wouldn't have given a damn or even found it hot and wants to have more of the kind of sex she had, while Bill would already be grossed out and lose respect for her once he would learn that his wife had atleast 2 dicks in the same room. Women just want a non-judgemental guy, and that's what you should be, because if you are non-judgemental, she will tell everything about her history, but she will also give all of herself.

                [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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                  [–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                  Exactly, we want the most for the least effort and find equilibrium.

                  This is nothing else but a natural phenomenon. That what requires less energy to achieve more survives.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]1ozaku7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    AWALT is the result of offer and demand. Place yourself in a position where you are in high demand, and therefore, lots of women offer themselves to you. You won't care about your girl cheating because it gives you a reason to try another flavor.

                    [–]brinkleybuzz 27 points28 points  (1 child)

                    your girl will cheat eventually

                    AWALT and exit strategy, yes. Not a fan of "your girl will eventually cheat" though. A lot of guys will misinterpret this and enter into a relationship with a frame based on fear, which will prevent them from enjoying their time with their woman.

                    Following a couple of simple rules can help protect against the risk that your woman could eventually cheat -

                    • Don't enter a LTR unless you have abundance. Men with other options usually don't obsess over cheating and are less likely to stick around if a woman does cheat.

                    • Never get so attached to a woman that you lose your independence - the ability to do what you want when you want, including walking away from a bad relationship.

                    [–]chance5050 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                    True. You can be prepared for the worst without believing that cheating is inevitable.

                    [–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

                    Thank you kind sir, for the first Red Pilled post I've seen on The Red Pill for a while.

                    I think you're very right. Also....my last LTR, 4.5 years, there was a near branch swinging (AWALT) 2.5 years, and we decided we'd break up when she left for grad school.....and then she fucked up her GRE and took a gap year with me.

                    The glass was explicitly broken. We hiked and ate and fucked and had a just wonderful time, and remain the closest of friends. It was wonderful.

                    I'm not going to try to replicate that. However, there's no way in hell I'll be in an LTR any time soon. MLTR's, sure. No woman will cheat on me any time soon, because when they're not with me, I don't give a rip what they're doing. I have options.

                    [–]Scriptopeia 39 points40 points  (5 children)

                    It's hard swallowing this pill, but it's the sad reality.

                    My last girlfriend is a great example. Never was a girl so much into me like she was. She was literally addicted to me. It was the complete opposite of what I knew.

                    She wanted my time, energy and attention at every point. She demanded more sex than I could keep up with.

                    And yet I still knew that it would happen at some point. She cheated on me. Well, I am still the only guy that had his dick inside her, but I can't and will never forgive, even if it was "only" a kiss with another guy.

                    And to be honest, I was prepared. I could already tell from her behaviour that something was wrong 2 weeks in advance before she would confess to me. She would suddenly accuse me of things I never did. Basically she reflected her unloyalty shit on me.

                    All this was just her guilt. I read her like an open book. She even told me once that she thinks it's insane how accurately I looked through everything she did. Jokingly she asked why I could not be as dumb as her friends.

                    Why am I telling you all this? Because she was special for me, like some people would call a "Unicorn". But since I already had experience with other girls in similar situations and actually read TRP before, I knew that eventually even a "Unicorn" can and will cheat on me under the right circumstances.

                    [–]satellite779 24 points25 points  (3 children)

                    Sounds like you dealt with a narcissist. Read about idealize-devalue-discard, how they project their feelings onto others and their constant need to feed their alter ego with attention.

                    [–]Scriptopeia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                    This is too accurate to be true. I read the whole article on goodtherapy.org and each word is perfectly describing what slowly happened in my relationship over the months. I am not even exaggerating.

                    [–]satellite779 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    It can be rough dealing with a narcissist if you're not aware what's going on. Thankfully, there are a lot of resources on this topic and how to deal with it. The tricky parts are realizing you're actually dealing with a narcissist as well as going no contact. Unfortunately, there's not much chance you can fix a narcissist as they don't think they are doing anything wrong.

                    [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                    Sounds like the girl I'm seeing now. She's one fine glass, sure. But I've seen it all. I know what to expect. She is a slave to her emotions. Right now I am a king, a God even. She has never been in a relationship before. Do I give a fuck? Not as far as I'm willing to bet my peace of mind. As far as I'm concerned, it's going to happen and I will act accordingly the duration of our relationship. In turn, I get to truly enjoy her without fear. I act how I want, which maximizes my ability to keep her interested. But, as AWALT, she could make out with someone tomorrow, and I'll be ready to laugh, have a moment of pity, and carry on, because I'm always ready to pull.

                    [–]BobbyPeru 26 points27 points  (2 children)

                    At a certain point in my RP journey, I consciously emotionally detached from my LTR to a large extent. I came to the honest realization that I had developed ONEitis over the years.

                    Emotionally detaching helped me prepare for anything that may come my way from an AWALT perspective. Now, I feel like I could handle anything she brings.

                    Doing the work, having a mission, having a social life, being attractive, reading the sidebar, lifting, passing shit tests, day gaming ... etc. these are the key to freedom and an insurance policy where the stay plan is the same as the go plan.

                    It also gave me a DNGAF attitude as far as worrying about whether she’ll cheat or whatever else I used to worry about. So, yeah she may or may not cheat... I have better things to focus on.

                    Good post

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [removed]

                      [–]cellphon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      Another analogy is women are like alcohol.

                      A nice glass or two wine after a productive evening is great and healthy.

                      Basing your entire life around getting drunk is not.

                      [–]1Original_Dankster 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                      I've always said AWALT is like firearm safety, in that you treat every gun as if it's loaded.

                      Less philosophical than OP's post, but gets to the same point.

                      [–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      Needs to be blasted into the face of all the hamsters I was dealing with yesterday who were downvoting me and calling me an idiot when I said cohabitating is a bad idea.

                      [–]Darth_Antonius 5 points6 points  (4 children)

                      Because you know she will eventually cheat, you avoid moving in together until it is really necessary.

                      you make sure you don't sign any contract with her (aka marriage) that will allow her to force you to shed a huge section of your assets in the breakup, unless it is really necessary.

                      Please elaborate on when wither of these would be nesseccary. Moving I need with a woman and/or marriage are like playing Russian Roulette with three in the chamber instead of one. I don't see any scenario that would make marriage or moving in together worth the risk.

                      [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                      I see your concern, and personally, I've thought about this the most since my last separation. However, deep down, I've found the answer is really a lack of excellence. We want to hide the unattractive side of ourselves, as we have seen what familiarity has bred in our past. A man who is truly alpha generates desire in such copious amounts that he cares not who sees his daily routine. I can honestly say that I am not where I want to be yet, and until then, I realize that is the only reason I'm going to maintain the "No living together" mantra.

                      [–]BridgeToTotalFreedom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      This actually makes so much sense, thanks.

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]Gutrek 11 points12 points  (3 children)

                        Great post. A big part of the adopting red-pill strategy is being pragmatic. Prepare yourself for what you know can very likely occur. AWALT doesn't necessarily mean that your woman will cheat. What it does mean is that if an opportunity to make a sexual upgrade arises, she will cheat. You can minimize her chances of cheating by staying as high value as you can. Lift, focus on your lifes mission, eat well. Though I would say that you should do these things because they make you a great man, not just so your bitches won't fuck around.

                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                        The next guy doesn't have to be better, he just has to be different. That's why it's so much easier to game "taken" women. She's seen how the sausage gets made and is no longer impressed. It truly escapes her mind that she's repeated this cycle over and over again.

                        [–]Werewolf35b 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                        You really think many women go thier lives without running into an upgrade?

                        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                        Of course. However, a high value man that has fucked his girls mind properly gives her what can be a very powerful second thought when she considers what she's throwing away. Patrice discusses this, others have dissected it.

                        When you've properly worked a decent girl physically, mentally, and emotionally, an "upgrade" should seem unthinkable to her sober mind. If she's seeing upgrades it's because you're lacking, or she is of bad character, which can also be seen as a sign of your bad judgement. However, sometimes even the best of us can be fooled by the cunning of a woman.

                        Although OP disregards AWALT as a spectrum for the purpose of his post, mate selection is hardly irrelevant. Most people fucking suck. In an ideal scenario, where you've chosen decent and covered the many bases that you must, who cares if she cheats? That bitch is definitely going to pay a larger price than you ever will when you yank the fucking connection out of the wall and never even look at that outlet again.

                        Ultimately, if you live like OP suggests, then the details about how unlikely she is/was to cheat are necessary in foresight, but irrelevant in hindsight.

                        [–]MinosAristos 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        Because you know she will eventually cheat, don't invest too much into her when she's old and grey after 40 years of marriage together.

                        [–]chance5050 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                        "If you firmly believed your girl will cheat eventually" then it doesn't sense to get into the relationship in the first place, unless you're a cuck. Why set yourself up for ultimate betrayal? Either this post is too pessimistic or LTRs don't make sense.

                        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        LTRs never make sense for men. The man always loses in terms of time, resources, and general well being. Serial medium term relationships, spinning plates, LTR with side pieces, polygamy in general, etc etc. With those situations, a man can even the odds.

                        Marriage is a particularly bad deal and never ever recommended.

                        [–]1ozaku7 8 points9 points  (5 children)

                        A great quote to start with, but the following text is just basic and common knowledge in TRP. With all due respect, I read this on the frontpage and thought this was some low-effort post from a newbie, until I clicked and saw your endorsed tag.

                        So in essence you should rely on yourself when it comes to your financial and emotional health, expect the worst but enjoy the current best situation out of it. Enjoy the glass to the fullest, but realize that one day it may break and that's just life, so you just have to move on and get yourself a new glass with nice memories to the last one.

                        Many believe AWALT in a wrong way, in such a way, they stop enjoying female company. AWALT should be a state of mind where you know how women are, and if something that screams AWALT happens, you should not be surprised. Yet at the same time you should not have AWALT ingrained by hate, but just by acceptence. That way, you can enjoy the company of a woman to the fullest without her bullshit fazing you.

                        [–]chance5050 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                        My girl may cheat, my dog may run away, I might crash my motorcycle or car one day, my new business may go under, etc., etc.

                        So much fear and risk avoidance on this sub these days. Not the way confident men talk.

                        [–]Thinkingard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        It is an antifragile mindset so if a black swan event happens it wont fuck them up and they will be able to rebound quickly or grow from the experience. Relationships are fragile and mindset is the antifragile response. DGAF and abundance mentality are the same thing as his glass metaphor.

                        [–]1ozaku7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        So much fear and risk avoidance on this sub these days. Not the way confident men talk.

                        Exactly. AWALT should be ingrained in your head. It's turning into one of these movies where the 3 chicks could predict a murder, and people were arrested before they even were commiting the murder itself. Forgot the name of the movie. Ofcourse the plot was that they were once wrong and the entire system was cancelled.

                        Trust her, but don't be fazed when she cheats. You can't enjoy anything if all you think about is that it is going to hell one day.

                        [–]1YouLoveThisBTW 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        I agree it's been said before, however, this post is so succinct, stating truths and giving good advise to deal with these realities, I think it belongs on the sidebar.

                        The glass being broken is a key tenant of trp.

                        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Sidebar material? Absolutely. I'll be disappointed if it isn't added.

                        [–]AlQWEffos239 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                        What’s the difference between AWALT and NAWALT?

                        [–]mgtowolf 22 points23 points  (0 children)

                        Glass half full and glass half empty.

                        If you assume you are gonna be fucked over, and it don't happen it's a pleasant surprise.

                        If you assume you found a unicorn, and she turns out to be another troll, it's a possible devastation.

                        NAWALT is an assumption that you have found an extreme outlier. Not all hard drives will die after 3-5 years, but are you willing to gamble your precious data? I have never been in a car accident, but I would get insurance for it even if it wasn't required. I have never had my house ransacked by a burglar, but I still have security cameras, motion detectors. I have never had a house burned down, but I still have smoke detectors and fire extinguishers. I have never drowned before, but I still have life jackets on my boat. I could go on, but I am sure you get the point.

                        [–]Hapaclapious 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                        Man, my buddy bought a house with his FIRST girlfriend and sure enough they broke up before they were a year together. Now he makes all of the payments for the house and she took the dog HE bought for them. I was hurting hearing him say this but he's just going to have to learn on his own. This just shows AWALT.

                        [–]Launch_On_Warning 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        Great post, and probably the most useful mental framework for dealing with AWALT that I have read here. Thank you for that.

                        I first ran across "The Glass is Already Broken" just recently while reading "The Daily Stoic" (collection of 366 daily meditations on a range of stoic ideas). Another idea I found in that book is the "reverse clause" - the idea that you consider and accept, on a daily basis, the variety of things beyond your control which may happen with adverse consequences for you - lousy traffic, boss in a bad mood, whatever. If you know that things happen beyond your control, understand the consequences, and mentally prepare yourself, it's less painful to deal with them when they happen.

                        I have found the reverse clause is a good way to prepare myself to deal with my STBX wife, with whom I actively and cooperatively co-parent on a daily basis. If I remember to pause and think before my interactions with her regarding what she might do or say, remind myself that I don't control what she does or says, only how I respond to it, and keep my goals in mind in how I respond, I can navigate whatever happens effectively.

                        An observation - the master doesn't treat the glass as if it is already broken. He still uses and enjoys it, but he does so knowing and accepting what might happen to it. This for me is the great lesson of this post about AWALT - there is no need to treat a woman as if she has already cheated, and you can enjoy whatever it is you do with her just fine, just recognize and accept the reality of what she may someday choose to do. Her choice is not beyond your influence, but it is ultimately beyond your control.

                        [–]SaltHallonet 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        These fortknox cheat-damage-controls megastrategies are for betas, cucks amd other men who do not have their woman around their finger. I would rather try to improve myself until I have to worry less about cheating rather than walking around planning for being cucked

                        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Be wary of your ego. It will only betray you if you let a woman inflate it and pop it. Fuck her mind and never let up. She should never be able to get under your skin. However, that does not mean their fickle nature won't completely defy logic as she makes a decision that destroys her own contentment. You can only mitigate their destructive decision making, not eliminate it.

                        [–]1alphasquatch50 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                        Man I feel lucky. I've been with the same woman for over 32 years. She was a virgin when we met and have never had any cause to believe she has ever even considered being unfaithful. We still have sex 7-10 times per week and she will often be setting next to me watching tv and ask, randomly, "want me to suck your dick?" She can't be the only one. Also, I have never trusted anyone 100% but she's the only one who even comes close.

                        [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                        Good on you. Simply keep enjoying the blowjobs and keep not trusting her 100%.

                        [–]_frea_ 9 points10 points  (13 children)

                        I do not claim to know anything about this sub and I know I am the last person who's opinion here may be minded, but I mist say that it sounds like a difficult existence to spend your life taking only calculated risks and living out of the fear that any woman will leave you. I understand that it may seem like it makes sense to keep your significant other at a distance in order to maintain your composure, independence, and stability. Are those things really worth it to never feel the complete depth of connection you may have with another person? If it were possible to have love beyond your wildest dreams, for someone to love you exactly as you have always dreamt of being loved, would you really give that up to be in control and be right about the way you have it? Is the pain of total heartbreak more terrible than the exhaultation of loving and being loved completely? If all you ever wanted in relationship was achievable if only you jump in with no safety net, would you jump?

                        None of this is to mention, by the way, that you operate from the preconceived notion that you know exactly how things must end. The future is completely unknowable. Therefore we make up whatever we believe is going to happen. If this is the case, then why in the hell would you choose to make up something so depressing? Why make up something that is not something you really want. (Hint: Some of us go to great extents to be right about the stories we have made up about how the future must turn out just to feel good about ourselves, even if it reinforces a story we have created about how terrible we are/others are/the world is. )

                        [–]originaltransvaginal 14 points15 points  (7 children)

                        The real question here and the next stage of your understanding will pertain to whether or not we are all wrong.

                        That is the truth of the red pill. Here is where men are allowed to speak freely on women and we have a consensus. We have noticed patterns and we are united in having shared these experiences.

                        This happens to me, a lot, with women. I will attempt to make some point, and she will dismiss it as "That's just your opinion. You're just being too harsh/pragmatic/serious." But here, people understand my thoughts and opinions. They can commiserate and reinforce those feelings and understandings so that I can actually speak and listen without fear of my thoughts.

                        According to some prominent psychologists this suggests we are capable of actually expanding on and maturing our thoughts, whereas these women stifle my ability to flesh out thoughts. Thus they come out harsh and aggressive, because they've been trapped and dismissed. With an open forum, we are free to travel down any road and our thoughts strengthen and condense into something intelligible and philosophical rather than angry and volatile.

                        That is the whole point of this thing. You asked the wrong aspect of the Yinyang why it dislikes dreaming. One side wants to think. One side wants to be honest with itself. Whereas the yin has been led astray. And so we have heroicly decided to not pass judgement, but to simply understand and prepare ourselves. The angry parts of us would be glad to know why our other half has sold it's soul, but we are not consumed by that idea.

                        So the questions you should be asking are not "why don't you guys want love? Why be so distrustful?", they are "wow, how could all these men have experienced something so similarly awful? Why are men who otherwise seem successful, intelligent, and open-minded, so jaded about women?" This will lead you down a path where you start to notice things that were kept hidden.

                        Thoughts?

                        [–]_frea_ 3 points4 points  (6 children)

                        Beautifully put. I deeply appreciate your perspective and I am grateful for your clarity, openness, and amicable demeanor.

                        From my listening, it sounds like you are saying that you are here in this sub seeking out solace, empathy, and companionship. Women in your experience have been unkind and unwilling to support you in the same way you experience support here. You have noticed a pattern in the way women behave, and clearly you are not alone in that thought. If I am misguided in my understanding of what you have said, please correct me.

                        I acknowledge that empathy and sharing in this way with your fellow man must be liberating if your view point comes from your "understanding" of the theory you have that women will cheat. It seems to me that you seek out acceptance and friendship -- people who understand you. And why shouldn't you? The community is here; the friendship every human being longs for in a partner is here, and you might as well dig into it since you'll never find faithfulness like this in a relationship.

                        It isn't that I am unwilling to look and see why you brilliant, powerful men are so jaded by women. I am sorry that you have been hurt so many times, and I can imagine the jadedness which is created from that (repeated) pain. I simply believe that men like you have been so focused on things that will not serve you in your life, that you have manifested partners who will cheat on you time and time again. What I really wonder is... Do you truly believe that all women behave this way? Surely you know that there are some relationships which do not end with cheating. What do you make up it is about the men or women in these relationships that has them break this pattern? Do you think there are certain men in this world who are doomed to always be cheated on by their significant other?

                        For my own part, the reason I responded the way I did originally was due to my own belief in a principle of the universe: we are all at choice for the life we want to live. If you want to live a life where women will not cheat, you must be willing to be wrong about the way that you have it. This is where all power lies: when we give up on being right about our beliefs in patterns and stories about ourselves, others, and the universe, we open ourselves to a world of possibility which we have never known. If you are willing to be wrong about your belief that women will always cheat, beyond the new possibility of a relationship of trust and longevity, what else is now possible? I am certain you can comprehend exactly what I am saying since you asked me to ask other questions and see that which is not known to me. I am asking the same of you.

                        I am speculating that if you are willing to be wrong about the way you have it, you could have a relationship with the woman of your dreams. It seems to me that you are too focused on being right and being a victim to women/life/the world to ever take advantage of all that is possible for you.

                        [–]originaltransvaginal 7 points8 points  (3 children)

                        First off I want to reply in kind. You have been polite and patient with your questions and we are setting an example as to how ideas could be probed in a decent manner.

                        I do agree with your description of at least my interpretation of this space. With the small caveat that you used soft words to describe it. "Solace, empathy, and companionship". While it is true those are to be found here, I only needed to know I wasn't crazy. I don't believe that I needed kindness, more so I believe I was being drowned in a sense. And here I can breath.

                        I do believe I can offer an interesting perspective on your questions. I am entirely foreign to the cheating aspect specifically. I'm not convinced I have ever been cheated on, though I'd accept it readily, and I am responsible for ending all my relationships. Therefore my reading of AWALT consists more of the attitudes of women rather than their fidelity.

                        I see it as the difference between the way a male best friend will deal with my shortcomings vs the way almost any female acquaintance will. Men seem to take less offense at my idiosyncrasies whereas women, in general, seem to act as if my failures reflect on them, and thus it becomes their business to solve them. This acceptance of the role of "fixer" has always led women to eventually become intolerable to be around, in the sense that they intertwine themselves into negative aspects of my being. Aspects which I can appreciate and thus undermine my ability to connect with said woman as she is convinced they must be "fixed".

                        So in the sense that all women are like that, I have had more experiences where, if there was something to be misinterpreted and a way to authoritarianly undermine the relationship, it eventually becomes a problem I cannot ignore. I agree that focusing on cheating pinpoints one way in which an individual could wrong you and there are obviously many ways, and it's unintelligent to pigeon hole yourself this way. We agree there.

                        The only difference of opinions we have is that AWALT has a "listen & believe" quality to it that you feel needs to be questioned(And that is entirely reasonable). Whereas we feel, "yes please, prove us wrong." In the essence of TRP AWALT is our shit test for women. We don't care if it's reactionary or upsetting. Prove it wrong. Put up or shut up.

                        The cheating comes because they self sabatoge. They find these little things wrong with men, meet another man who magically seems bereft of such issues, and they fool themselves into thinking it's different. If you cannot be satiated with a less than perfect being then of course you will always notice imperfection in them and destroy the relationship of your own accord. Cheating is just a common way nowadays. And it hurts men significantly because we could theoretically change our thinking and habits, but if she chooses someone who's physically or financially out of our league we have to own that. So we feel wronged because she cheated. And then we have to feel like we existentially lost as well because she had the better argument in a vagina. She wins even though she's misinformed and self destructive. That is very defeating.

                        I'm gonna pass it to you or someone else again. I like some of my points but I'm rambling. Thanks again for this discussion.

                        [–]DayGameChirality 4 points5 points  (2 children)

                        I believe AWALT as a spectrum. A hard example of almost NAWALT would be my GF. She's close to zero drama. She never tries to change me. Never cheated and has a hard time convincing herself to be looking for someone else. In the context of TRP, she is contrary to what you've experienced with women - them wanting to change you and seeing your imperfections as something that bothers their soul. I've had exactly opposite experience with her as she supports me in a way that a male friend would.

                        On the other hand, I am certain she's on a far end of the spectrum. I see her mom, or my mom, or just women in relationships. And they're all emotional, non-rational and do whole lot of drama. I dare to say that my GF is attracted to me and vice versa because I share more qualities with those drama women than she does. I've been with her long enough to notice she's not attracted at all to the aloof, distant and indifferent man TRP preaches as the ideal.

                        Granted, because of her somewhat more rational nature, i wonder whether many men would be attracted to her personality or not. I have no idea.

                        I can see the AWALT in her though, just much weaker. If I totally let myself she'd definitely go. But she has much higher tolerance for that, not like people say here "the second you show weakness, she's looking for someone else". She had dozens of those situations.

                        Vice versa, I'm not your typical man. Almost seems like the women I talk about are a niche, and so am I to women, because I don't find most women attractive. I'm immidietaly put off by mosr characters

                        Have you thought about targeting for women that are INTJ personality type (my gfs) ? That's roughly 1% of women, but those are the women that are less irrational in their behaviour

                        [–]originaltransvaginal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                        That's all well and good. How would you suggest I meet an INTJ.

                        I like hearing your thoughts on this topic, but what would you say to the men who will say that you are too confident in the perfection you've found? Has your relationship conducted itself in this manner for many years?

                        Just to be contrarian and continue this discussion, what do you think you can offer to trp community with such a star crossed romance? I believe you offer good advice on finding a niche girl, but that almost reinforces AWALT. It's a guarantee that most men won't land an INTJ because of their rarity. And thus this place is needed to make these men aware of what they will find. Inform them of the situation they're in, of which womankind will not tip them off to.

                        My personality lends itself to what you said, I will find someone who fits me and be a successful captain. But most men will have to deal with the riff raff that is left over. And that deserves to be talked about. Commisserated on in more than just backrooms and online forums. It is perfectly acceptable to be disappointed(fatherly tone) with female kind. They are, for the most part, not strong & independent and thinking this often makes them fragile & intolerable. Even if I find the right girl, and am happy for myself, I am not so selfish as to turn my back on the rest of mankind and their fate.

                        The issue of AWALT transcends our individual happiness.

                        [–]DayGameChirality 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                        How would you suggest I meet an INTJ.

                        I am fairly convinced those girls most likely want to end up in fields like architecture, maths, physics, pharmacology, research. I wouldn't say they're more geeky, but they're less interested in all these womanly stuff.

                        what would you say to the men who will say that you are too confident in the perfection you've found? Has your relationship conducted itself in this manner for many years?

                        The relationship is 4,5 years old, so I'd say it is something. She also claims she's isn't bored by me, which sexually I guess could be proven cos she still fucks me and does it with joy. She has never denied me sex on a shit test basis, only if I were truly making her uncomfortable, and given my personality I'd blame myself there.

                        She is attached and so am I. By TRP's standards, this relationship is blue pill as it gets, doomed to fail and blow up in my face. I agree to an extent. It's going to blow up in my face, because I don't promise her monogamy and I don't make her promise me monogamy either. It's sort of casual because no way I'm going to be living with a woman for the next 10 years (I'm only 23), and if I want to move somewhere else, or do something reckless, stupid, irresponsible, crazy, I want to do it and not give a shit. I don't want to drag her around if she doesn't want it.

                        Just to be contrarian and continue this discussion, what do you think you can offer to trp community with such a star crossed romance? I believe you offer good advice on finding a niche girl, but that almost reinforces AWALT. It's a guarantee that most men won't land an INTJ because of their rarity. And thus this place is needed to make these men aware of what they will find. Inform them of the situation they're in, of which womankind will not tip them off to.

                        Nah, I don't offer star crossed romance. I only agree with the OP. By giving in into AWALT 100% of your being, you're essentially attracting AWALT. You're also putting off every NAWA-100%-LT. Think of this way: by being 100% AWALT, you're increasing your odds of success with worse end of the AWALT-spectrum girls, and decreasing your odds of success with the better AWALT-spectrum girls.

                        My advice is, contrary to original-OP, don't buy into 100% AWALT. Just like in Manson's Models, you're going to attract what you believe in. Before I met my GF, I've met, dated, friendzoned, orbited, or was oblivious to numerous girls, but never went far with them. People on this sub call me gay coz I say my cock goes soft if a girl's personality isn't attractive to me, lmao. Most of those AWALT girls are attractive to me physically, but once I get to know them a little my interest takes a dive deep down and I literally can't do anything about it. I'm just not attracted, I have close to zero interest in playing games. I've never worked on it - it's like my personality automatically screens women. So, going back to those girls - back then in my teens, I wasn't realizing what I was doing, but whenever girl came out to be high-AWALT, I was magically disinterested and moved on to the next. These days I'm working on my game coz I want to get to know those other women as well. I can do some game, but just a little, I don't want to revolve my whole life around it. I only want to get to know those women to see if I'm missing anything.

                        And back to my GF, the way we were was almost completely blue pill and oneitis, both ways, too, because of the niche we both represent. I could say I went the path of "finding the right girl". Except that in my particular case it worked, probably due to my reject-society-standards personality.

                        I mostly agree with AWALT approach though. My musician friends, who I'd say are close personality-wise to me, were fucked over by AWALT.

                        Also, a stand that is not talked about often enough on this forums is BD's relationship model. Honestly if my girl were to drop me or whatever, I commit to his model, with slight adjusts depending on how it works for me. Simply put, do MLTRs, and if you're old enough and wanna do OLTR, don't expect monogamy, ditch it completely. Actually, in any case don't expect monogamy and ditch it completely. I live in a country that's a dozen years behind US in those societal changes, but I bet in bigger cities it's just like that, full-on AWALT. Why not just accept that both parties will fuck others, on some set of ground rules (if it's a serious relationship) or lack of thereof (if it's MLTRs)? Think of how much effort, both time-wise and emotional effort some people on this sub put into controlling others' lives. Checking texts. Emails. Asking questions. Putting foot down (lmao). Dem angry alphas. Just like BD says: the more rules you put upon others, the more external rules put upon you you must respect. My lizard brain wants to have a word, but is having sex with someone else such a big deal? Territorial sexual jealously is something one can work on.

                        [–]cellphon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        I think the main problem in your premise is that women simply aren't capable loving you the way you want.

                        The unconditional, all encompassing love you received from your mom has imprinted you to seek that same "whole love" with women. It will never happen as they are capable of that love only to their children.

                        Women are calculating actors, nothing more nothing less. The second something better comes along or the second your value is reduced she will seek other options.

                        [–]Starman520 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                        A fair try, but oneitis or love is so obviously fleeting. Going all in for a fleeting (yet powerful) desire is just dumb. Much like gambling with $100. Do you drop it all on the first hand?

                        [–]thr0w4w4yaway 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                        We like disney too but you gotta move beyond that when you grow up.

                        [–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        never feel the complete depth of connection you may have with another person

                        just read the sidebar - women (or girls) LOVE to date a man who is more valuable - so they must HUNT him down.. but after they get him, there's no connection.. she will just lose interest..

                        have you ever been in so deep love and connection with a girl? not post wall old hag - that's not what counts...

                        [–]FREEDNA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        "he's just a friend" - all women

                        [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                        [removed]

                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                        You're being dishonest. This post makes perfect sense. Men love differently than women. Men tend to over-invest emotionally. Women are far more pragmatic romantically i.e. they have built-in psychopathic mating behavior.

                        [–]Lambdal7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                        If so, then this post is a very convoluted way of saying that and it shouldn't bank on cheating, because the argument is weak.

                        I like what you said, men over invest emotionally and women are more pragmatic, but it's really hard to read that out of the post.

                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Faulty mental models are hard to re-wire. If I believe this woman will cheat, I won't love her too much or really care all that much when the relationship fails. It's a mental gymnastic trick to keep from over investing. The trick doesn't have to be rational or based on a good argument as long as it achieves a desired result. Red pill loves heuristics.

                        [–]Chaddeus_Rex 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                        In order for a man to cheat he must have options. And it is fact that 80% of women date 20% of the men. If the top 20% of men have 80% of women dating them that means they have many options. Hence they will 'cheat'.

                        In contrast, 80% of men won't cheat because they don't have the options.

                        But 80% of women cheat to get the top 20% of males.

                        Thus, fewer men cheat than women though the frequency can be the same amongst men with options and average women.

                        [–]Lambdal7 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                        1. The study clearly concluded that 40% of men and women cheat, there is no percentage difference.
                        2. Do you have hard data to back your claim, sounds a bit like mental gymnastic.

                        [–]Smok-er966 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                        I don't know why but half way through the first thing that popped into my mind was self fulfilled prophecy If you do plan your life around that and have all your actions based on the possibility that she will cheat eventually then yes she will cheat you already eliminated the possibility of her not cheating That being said I do not have an answer for how to approach that so just food for thought

                        [–]Namelessfear9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        It's always at the bottom of a thread that you can see the newbies and exiles. You have much to learn.

                        [–]Hakametal 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                        You're too nihilistic. And this AWALT narrative has gotten out of control.

                        To say a woman WILL cheat is to say that it's definite. The reality is that she might or might now. Painting all women with the same brush is plain ignorant and retarded. The exact same can be said for men.

                        You try to come across as a stoic zen master, but really I think deep down you're still hurt by a woman in the past... and really you're still cynical.

                        [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        When you buy a car, you purchase an insurance. Does this mean that you WILL crash it? No. It means you know it's a possibility and that the consequences if it happens are bad. So instead of trying to figure out whether you might crash or not, instead you take an insurance and drive away in peace knowing you've got your ass covered.

                        This is the exact same thing.

                        Not adopting this mindset is like buying a car and refusing to buy an insurance because you KNOW that you won't crash it. For some reason you have told yourself that you're such a good driver, or have bought such a good car, it will NEVER happen so you don't need it. Maybe you will not crash it, but then you just might. And if it happens and you've not planned for it, it might end up bad.

                        This is the result of men putting all their faith into the certainty that THEIR woman will not leave their ass if they quit their job, or will not cheat, or will always be attracted to them "no matter what":

                        http://www.bcmj.org/articles/silent-epidemic-male-suicide

                        https://therationalmale.com/2017/12/01/men-and-suicide/

                        Oh and the accusation of "you're bitter" is just too facile. Yes some of my girlfriends have cheated on me. Just like millions of other men before me and millions others after. And the times it has happened after I had adopted that mindset, I simply said "ok" and walked out of it like a breeze because I had planned for it to happen eventually. And the times I am with a girl who has not cheated on me, I just enjoy it all. You'd love to see a bitter loner behind this message, sorry to disappoint you. I just love my girl(s), as all women in my life between family, friends and colleagues. I simply stopped expecting faithfulness from my girls.

                        [–]Shakydrummer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Learned it the hard way. Had to spend a year to get to a place where I'm even better then I was pre LTR, but this mindset is pretty bang on. If you know the beast you're dealing with, you can enjoy it to its fullest because you're a step ahead consistently.

                        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                        [deleted]

                        [–]3nebder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        Acronym for all women are like that. It’s the same concept as the firearms safety rule all guns are loaded.

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Being in a relationship is very similar to snake handling as a hobby. At some point, no matter how careful you are, you're going to get snakebit.

                        [–]FacSolumId 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Someone just got cheated on...

                        [–]BeefJesusMaker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        This is an extremely useful concept. If you're ever in a relationship, not only will this help you sustain it, but it will prepare you for when/if it fails, all the while helping you improve yourself.

                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        A very good post; its about expecting what should happen in the future and find a way to deal with it in advance. Thanks

                        [–]ioncehadsexinapool 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        I can’t copy it to quote because I’m on mobile but the most important thing to understand imo is OP’s second to last paragraph. You’re doing yourself a favor by putting yourself in the best mindset, and because of that, it’s (IMO likely) that you’ll get bored of her long before she’ll cheat.

                        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        Great point. Many forget how relationships are a war, a battle for power. Once one person has accumulated all the territory, the war is over, that person cannot help but become less interested. Be that person. A man can handle that responsibility if the girl is worth it, should he be the relationship type. Women obviously cannot display this feat.

                        [–]sd4c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        If you include having a sudden change of heart, as "cheating", then yes, AWALT.

                        THEY DON'T HAVE TO CHEAT ON YOU TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

                        All she has to do, is suddenly change her mind about you. Sometimes, the "other man", is her own rage, or her own narcissistic self-worship intensifying to a higher orbit than you've as of yet seen.

                        The betrayal will feel the same. Putting all your trust and love into one girl- making plans with her, and she gets cold feet. I've seen this happen to three women, even after having two kids with the husband she left. When she maximizes her utility of you, she can and will leave you to have a last minute, hail-mary love child with some guy with no kids.

                        They will find a million ways to justify it, but the plain truth of the matter, is that women want to spread their own seed (eggs), as far and wide as we do. It's just four total kids, with three different "husbands", instead of 20 kids they barely know with a bunch of groupies who pretend to like their band.

                        Always leave a round in the chamber. SWAT calls this a tactical reload. NEVER tell her all your secrets, win over all your friends, have access to all your money. She's a trained thief, and you knowing you have a back-up gun in an ankle holster, can prevent you from subtle expressing of the cold, stark fear that an unarmed man will have during the bank heist.

                        Don't think of this as a betrayal. Think of it as an insurance policy in case she gets hit by a falling coconut and turns nutso.

                        Except we know, that falling tree branch or coconut, might consist of a movie like Eat, Pray, Hump.

                        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                        This might be my favorite post on TRP. This is exactly the mindset one must have to truly enjoy women. Outcome independence and abundance mentality are just specifics that tie in to this major concept. When you truly accept it, when you realize that you must never stop gaming random girls (to what extent will vary), even in committed relationships, even when you don't want to, but you do it because you must, then you will have made it. Then you will discover, and oh what an epiphany it is, the frame of mind that guarantees your success. It is the most attractive mindset to women for a reason, because, "He just gets it."

                        [–]Ojrsh 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                        What a pessimistic approach on life. Not every women will cheat. If you chose your girl carefully at the beginning, you minimize the risk of being fooled. Don't get to "in" the relationship until you're sure it's a stable one. But even though, always adopt a stoic approach on life, what ever happens will happen, good or bad. Don't let obstacles ruin your life experience, don't lose yourself into ruminations. Do your best but don't expect things to go wonderfully, always strive for better. You can be disapointed it's fine, but move on to betterment as soon as you have acknowledge it.

                        [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                        What a pessimistic approach on life.

                        This is exactly what people say of stoicism or buddhism. People who just see the surface of the message, instead of according it enough time to understand its meaning and the influence of it on a human's psyche. You read the surface message of buddhism, tell yourself "what a pessimistic and death-obsessed philosophy" and then see the dalai lama with his air of constant happiness and ultimate joy and you can't reconcile this with your opinion of his philosophy of life unless you dig in deeper said philsophy.

                        When you buy a car, you purchase an insurance. Does this mean that you are a pessimistic person who believe bad things ALWAYS happen to them? That you WILL crash it? Do people tell you you are just too negative and that such belief will turn into a "self-fulfilling prophecy"? Of course not. You buying an insurance only means that you know it's a possibility and that the consequences of it happening are quite bad. So instead of trying to calculate the likelihood of you crashing and deciding to avoid buying a car in the first place, instead you buy the car, take an insurance, and drive away in peace knowing you've got your ass covered if it were to happen.

                        This is the exact same thing.

                        Not adopting this mindset is like buying a car and refusing to buy an insurance because you KNOW that you won't crash it. For some reason you have told yourself that you're such a good driver, or have bought such a good car, it will NEVER happen so you don't need it. Maybe you will not crash it, but then you just might. And if it happens and you've not planned for it, it might end up bad.

                        This is the result of men putting all their faith into the certainty that THEIR woman will not leave their ass if they quit their job, or will not cheat, or will always be attracted to them "no matter what".

                        [–]AstuteBlackMan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                        Not gonna lie I have a hard time with this. I've been trying to take on the mentality of speaking things into existence essentially. So when things go bad I'll just rework it around my plan.

                        I understand the way you you described this was meant for it to not appear negative but I always wonder why.

                        I'll probably adopt this mentality for women but not for life and life goals.

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                        [removed]

                          [–]AstuteBlackMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Why would you believe you have a superpower like this? Why would you attempt to adopt this belief? You have a hard time accepting AWALT but believe that the flow of events in the universe is actively awaiting your command? Tbh a unicorn (the female kind or the magic horned horse kind, take your pick) is far more likely to occur than for someone to have a superpower. The "Law" of Attraction) is a bunch of new agey BP horseshit.

                          That's not what speaking things into existence means.

                          It isn't negative. It just is. It's a fact without a good/evil connotation. The same way a shark is a killer, but not evil.

                          I never said it was.

                          Leave alone

                          [–]RunThroughKing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Glad someone else has this wisdom ...the more guys that know this the better

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Trust but verify. If you're paranoid, dump her and get another. Fear of being alone is no way to live.

                          [–]hodltaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          AWALT is really something you need to believe so much as realize. Just last night a good buddy of mine had his "ah-ha" moment and started rattling back to how women are all the same.

                          You don't need to tell me that-AWALT!

                          [–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Basically be like batman vs the justice league with his contingency plan. He never planned on turning on the justice league. But he planned ahead because he knew anyone can change or be manipulated by a villian.

                          That's awalt.

                          [–]319Skew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          "Nothing is static. Everything is falling apart"

                          [–]SoulofEquality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          And when the day comes that she cheats, you just smile, feel the emotional pinch but stay calm, say to yourself "of course" like the master in the glass story, and simply implement your exit strategy.

                          What do you do when that day never comes?

                          [–]clairevoyantz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Man, I wish I’d seen this two months ago. I looked some into TRP theory a while back, and then I ended up with a girl who I thought cared. Nope, she cheated on me for our entire two month relationship. That was what prompted me to revisit this subreddit. I want to be one step ahead. I don’t want to let a petty girl break my heart.

                          Anyway, you worded this really well. And I needed that one bad experience to break me down and get me to accept TRP and AWALT idea.

                          Now I’m back in the game. Thank you for writing this.

                          [–]DatingCoach111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Screenshoted, saved, and bookmarked. Amazing fucking post.

                          [–]Cross_De_Lena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          AWALT is true. Buuuuuut,

                          by keeping your body and mind strong, your SMV high, your abundance mentality high you massively decrease your chances of that happening to you.

                          [–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                          because this belief of yours will translate in your attitude as a passive dread and low neediness, which are very attractive to women, as per the cardinal rule of relationships.

                          How, exactly, is passive dread in a man attractive?

                          [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Works with both sexes, and it comes down to the fact that humans tend to be attracted to persons that have higher value on the sexual market place. Thus if you are disinterested in someone, or show interest to other people than this someone, this subconsciously communicates that you see that someone as not high value enough for them, aka that you consider yourself higher value than this someone. This is the reason behind the usual dynamic "you pursue me, I flee. I pursue you, you flee".

                          [–]FerrusMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          It's a facet of AWALT that I've never really considered, but it really sums up the whole philosophy of, not what AWALT is, but how to deal with it.

                          What is AWALT? All women are like that. It means that all women are hypergamous, and have the potential to cheat on you when Alpha Chad Thundercock has higher SMV than you, and he starts whispering in your woman's ear.

                          The post here that you made, really puts it all in perspective. The likely outcome of what AWALT really means. So yeah, plan on it happening. Maybe not expect it, but do not ever be surprised by it.

                          I think something like your post should be sidebar material. A little polishing perhaps, but something like it should be there on the sidebar.

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