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Field ReportShe's just your Girlfriend, she's not your Siamese twin. She's not your partner on a mission to Mars. She doesn't control your oxygen supply. (How to do a LTR.) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 3whatsthisgarg

Long-term relationships are can be a great thing. The adoration you can get in a LTR is much more intense than with a casual partner. Ideally, there should be a lot less hassle and a lot more high-quality sex. It doesn't always turn out like that, it seems, because a lot of guys are adopting the wrong model.

How many millions of times have you seen (or been) the guy who gets into what looks like a good LTR, and then gets complacent and neglects the things that made him a fun, attractive person? And then starts overcompensating by spending all his time and energy on the girl, who gets bored and bitchy and then cheats and/or leaves?

This is why all these jerks keep chanting the defeatist cuck mantra She's not yours, it's just your turn. If you accept this, you have thrown in the towel. Go ahead and let some little girl decide the terms and when and under what circumstances the relationship continues or ends.

 

Here's a model for how to avoid that and still garner the benefits of the LTR without the drawbacks:

ALYAS. Act Like You Are Single.

Forget all that garbage you read in the usual posts about how to do LTRs: a humorless list of rules, virtual mate-guarding, and cyber-stalking the woman, all of which indicates a pointless investment of time and energy, which in turn implies an emotional investment which itself is a powder-keg of disappointment when the relationship inevitably ends.

 

ALYAS: Act Like You Are SingleNo that's dumb, we don't need anymore acronyms. But it does roll right off the tongue, doesn't it?

 

There are very simple reasons for recommending this strategy. First, you maintain attractiveness. It's not a consensus view but my experience has been that women's sexual preferences are stable over time, meaning what attracted her in the first place will continue to attract her. Secondly, by acting like you are single you will create more attraction via mystery and dread. And third, it's just fun. That's why you were doing those things when you were single. Keep doing what you were doing.

 

For the autists and bloopers, I did not say "Pretend you are single." You can't make phone calls to other girls with her right there. You can't leave her at a bar and go off with some other girl. Have some human decency. You can't go home reeking of strange pussy. Although I have done that. But you need to be sure you can hit the shower real quick. (Also take charge of your own laundry. Don't be a babyman who expects his mommy/wife to wash his underwear.)

I don't mean this to be necessarily 100% all-in. You will not likely get the benefits of the LTR, which are substantial, by being completely aloof and unavailable. But you can take this as literally as you like, see how much she puts up with it, or wind it back a bit. Whatever works. At a minimum, acting like you are single should be your mindset.

This means don't stop hitting the gym, that's the first thing. But also don't stop doing all those good things you did when you were single. You want to hit the bars or go camping with your buddies, do it. You have solo projects, do them.

And, if you want to spend the entire weekend alone with her fucking like rabbits, getting room service and watching cable, do that; that is something you would do if you were single and you had a woman up for it.

When she asks "I'm going to visit my sister; come with?" you say "Have fun. I've got shit to do here."

This is not a hypothesis that I dreamed up and want to try out. This is how I have lived for decades. And yes, a quality woman will not only tolerate it, but she prefers it.

 

A word about ordinary human emotions: there is such a thing as mutual infatuation; it's a wonderful feeling (did not prevent me from fucking other women, though, which is a beautiful inoculation against losing your head). That can turn into what you might experience as love and devotion. I recommend cautiously indulging in it, if the opportunity presents itself, because it's fun. But know that it doesn't last forever.

 

You can enjoy this without the emotional investment that is so dangerous. You realize that she is actually not special. She is replaceable. You will also most likely notice that you are the one creating all the fun and excitement. She's just along for the ride, and to enhance the experience, as long as she behaves and you're not sick of her. This is my model for a long-term relationship.


I will now field questions from the peanut gallery.

Question: If you're supposed to Act Like You Are Single, what's the woman there for?

The woman is there to get fucked in the many hundreds of ways that a sexually creative man can think of. And she's there to be fun, pleasant, and interesting, which is possible despite all the rumors. Also, if you want to have kids, the woman is generally required at some point in that process.


Question: So you're saying Act Like You Are Single in the early stages of a relationship, but then when it starts looking real, you get serious?

No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying Act Like You Are Single while she gets serious. What she does shouldn't affect you, and if she doesn't like it, she can walk.


Question: So, Act Like You Are Single through the middle stages of a relationship, but if you decide to move forward and live together, then you start acting like a couple?

No! Living together is when you need to Act Like You Are Single the most. You need to get out of the house, stay busy, and create mystery. And if you weren't acting like you were single before moving in together, you might find it difficult to switch it up after.


Question: Okay, so Act Like You Are Single when you're living together, but then when the kids come along, you have to settle down, right?

Wrong again. Let me tell you just how extreme this can be: Act Like You Are A Single Father. Take the kids, go to the library, go to the park, kick around in the woods, go visit the other kids and their hot moms. When mommy comes home, have dinner, and then it's YOUR time. Do whatever you want, go to your workshop, to your office, leave the house, go to a buddy's house, to the gym, to a bar, go see another woman, whatever. It's that easy.


Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single?

Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.


Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you?

You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

(Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck. Guys, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to play, but I have had my fun.)

You can never be absolutely certain, but if you aren't 95% sure that she adores you and is devoted to you, then that relationship will not make it past the one-year mark. And if you're STILL worried about being cheated on: you didn't invest anything in her, did you?

(Cue up the Crab Bucket Chorus, singing Divorce Rape and Half Your Assets Brah! I don't care about that either. Nobody said get married, and if you're worried about the money, NO woman in your life should last longer than a few years, to avoid common-law claims.)


Last question: So, basically Alpha Fucks, on a long-term basis?

Yes. My experience is that women don't really care about money as long as you are a stud, and, as I've said many times, the need for comfort is really way overstated on TRP.

To be protected from the hard edges of life and to have fun is all women really want. If they want more, I really do not care.


[–]lordkingalpha 144 points145 points  (6 children)

Well I wouldn't cheat because if I get in a LTR loyalty is a big thing in my life. But I completely understand what you are saying. Basically it's do exactly what you normally did with your life or were planning on before you met her. I agree with that she is more of a add on to your life. You should always continue working on your goals and live your life with or without her.

[–]reddick1 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Show loyalty to your male friends and they will respect it. Females will not respect your loyalty. You're doing that for yourself. If you want to have abundance mentality, the best way is to actually have abundance. If you have onegina, you are acting serious.

[–]lordkingalpha 18 points19 points  (1 child)

People at the very top of the game have inner circles. Anyone that is in my circle I am loyal too that includes any woman LTR I allow in. You don't get out of my circle once you're in ,unless you show disloyalty. I am a king this is royalty shit get on my level.

[–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best underrated response right here.

[–]1SexdictatorLucifer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want to show loyalty, make sure you're getting more out of her pussy than you would single. The second you aren't getting that, fuck another pussy. She'll quickly learn what it takes to retain your loyalty.

Something that stuck out to me Roosh's new book: "I don't care about who I get laid by, but I do care about getting laid."

A good mantra to remember during an LTR, especially if you're giving loyalty. Never not cheat because of some moral quandary. Not cheat because you're sexually satisfied. Trust me, she's following the same rule.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 272 points273 points  (20 children)

Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single? Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.

Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you? You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

This is the most common stalling point for most men. They want to manipulate, hustle and fight for their unicorn, when they should be cutting their losses.

Sure an LTR is an investment, but as with any investment, you need to manage it.

If your investment is paying dividends, enjoy it. If your investment is falling to shit, cut your losses. You don't need to lose your car, house and business before you realize that it was a shit investment.

Invest elsewhere in more profitable ventures.

Good post.

[–]duckyhs 29 points30 points  (2 children)

This is what helped the most in TRP mindset. If she were to leave tomorrow I wouldn't be sad or devastated. Life will go on and having the abundance mentality means I have plenty to look forward to in the future and most guys need to reconcile with that outlook instead of being betas and trying to recollect on a bad investment. Its truly life changing.

[–]TheReformist94 22 points23 points  (13 children)

Yes, I manage my investments by diversing my portfolio to reduce risk. To combat the socially acceptable female open linear hypergamy (even TRP think female hypergamy is ok because its one at a time), I cheat and use male polygamy to counter the risk of cheating. The morality police here at TRP like to say its dishonest even though female sexual sdtrategy is at base dishonest.

ANd no, I am not advocating spinning plates, because that goes against my strategy of "ensuring male paternity". Women cheat in a "linear fashion", so society and TRP let them get away with it.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

To combat the socially acceptable female open linear hypergamy

CREDIT HERE, /u/TheReformist94 is THE MAN I got this concept from. It's deeper than you think.

This is brilliant, read this you fuckers:

It's because theyre cucks and havent swallowed the pill. TRP has this little cuck mantra called "she's not yours, just your turn", so, following biology, commonsense and economics, i recall men are polygamous (i.e. if you commit, you are losing your sexual strategy everyday), but she is serial monogamy (she is gaining on her sexual strategy everyday, until she is bored on you and breaks up(cheats and branch swings)).

So by definition, by saying "she is not yours not your turn" you are saying I am a linear cuck because i forsake pussy and allow women to cheat in advance on me.

Second, sexual strategy is amoral, but its only amoral when women cheat, openly brag about open hypergamy, and relish and have no remorse, but when we cheat, its suddenly not amoral, we are meant to be "honest" about whether or not we are spinning plates.

if women can AF:BB in a linear ( socialy acceptable manner), why can we have our cake and eat it too, and have our AF:BB, i.e have a "madonna" as a wife, and cheat with "whores " on the side?

(bold added by me)

[–]NYCSPARKLE 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yep. I saw another good way of phrasing this on a post about STDs, actually.

If you are worried about being immoral or giving your LTR or main plate STDs (because you have side pieces), you better believe I and other guys don't give a shit about giving them to her when she is in the process of branch swinging from you.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. I saw another good way of phrasing this on a post about STDs, actually. If you are worried about being immoral or giving your LTR or main plate STDs (because you have side pieces), you better believe I and other guys don't give a shit about giving them to her when she is in the process of branch swinging from you.

That's a comment from the real world; rare.

Here's ANOTHER way of phrasing it, as I put it in another context: Your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend sucked the herpes off my dick. I am Chad, AMA.

[–]reluctantly_red 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women cheat in a "linear fashion", so society and TRP let them get away with it.

LOL! They'll say its not cheating if they wait till the day after their old guy is out of the house to fuck their new guy.

[–]SilkTouchm 7 points8 points  (2 children)

It is dishonest by any way you look at it. You're preaching a monogamous relationship with someone but do the opposite of it, that's the very definition of dishonesty. Not trying to morally judge you, just calling things as they are.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Disingenuous might be the word you want, but this has nothing to do with honesty. The former is perhaps misguided (or not), but the latter would be moralizing. So you are ok, but I agree that I think you missed the point.

[–]instasnickers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not the point. Here is an exemple.

You are in a relationship, neither of you can cheat in the relationship. No one cheat. You're both happy because now you THINK you trust each other so much you don't cheat on each others to avoid the consequences.

The point it, you don't trust each other. Hear me out, here is why:

You're in a relationship, both of you tell the other they can cheat. No one cheat. You're both happy because now you KNOW you trust each other so much that even when you could cheat without consequences, you don't do it.

In OP post it's the same:

1He's saying it's okay to cheat, while preaching not to cheat.

2He's saying it's okay to cheat, when she does cheat

3He's saying unless you're 💯% sure she won't, she will

4He's saying since she will, N°2 apply. You can cheat.

And it's not cheating

[–]Chadster113 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't understand what you mean by "cheating in a linear fashion". Can you explain it to me differently?

[–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bet, it means you're going from one guy to another as if branch swinging. This would be versus a woman cheating on you with 5 guys all at the same time without branch swinging.

[–][deleted]  (25 children)

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[–]HeadingRed 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Likewise on both - and when the TRP sub became widely known it got a lot of Internet Tough Guys(tm). The toolbox concept holds a lot of water.

And it's pretty easy to spot the basement dwellers from guys trying to improve themselves - but still annoying to wade through it.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

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    [–]TibetanWisdom 119 points120 points  (4 children)

    Acting like you are single will help you to readjust to single life when the LTR inevitably fails.

    [–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    lmao good way to look at it, either way its a win/win situation

    [–]cantFindValidNam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Genius :D this also has the byproduct of making you more desirable immediately.

    [–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    First thing I though when I read this was ouch. Next thing I though, it's fucking true.

    [–]pm_me_your_pk 23 points24 points  (7 children)

    > Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck

    Oh god I snorted my coffee

    Also, this is good advice for MRP (comfort tests notwithstanding). She fell in love with me for a reason. As long as I don't let myself become someone I hate, she won't hate me either. I don't know why some dudes on here are anxiety ridden little fear monsters. She's not going to cheat on you if a) she's not a piece of shit and b) you don't turn into a boring loser.

    It's soooo easy to keep a woman hooked on the fantasy of you, even after 15 years of marriage.

    I was at a party a few months ago. My buddy's wife asked where her husband was. He'd already gone upstairs to help his daughter with something. Upon hearing this she flopped over against the car and said "I'm so tired, if he was down here he would carry me upstairs," because he's a powerful, intense, but loving man. She adores and respects that man. After kids and years of marriage he might as well be her daddy. Contrast that with my other buddy whose girlfriend, after only two years of living together, talks to him like he's a shitty child, because he fucking is.

    People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

    People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

    Hell yeah. I have always thought that. Seems like the "hard" part about LTRs is the worrying and the controlling, and if you just drop that shit, IE drop the "hard" parts, it's not hard at all.

    [–]raging_mongoose 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    Does setting boundaries counts as controlling / worrying ?

    My ltr of over a year now is in love with me, pays stuff for me, cleans, cooks and does the laundry without me asking her to do so just because she wants me to rest sometimes.

    I believe fully that she is not planning on branch swinging or cheat on my back right now, though seeing how women can get hijacked by their feelings in a split of a second, i still think she could cheat given the right situation (alcohol, me not being there, no friend of hers/mine to notice and ruin her reputation...)

    Thats why I explicitly put up boundaries like not going to bars with her friends when im not here.

    Is that too controlling ? I dont mind cutting her off but in my mind if you want to go in a bar without me where sex and alcohol is free for women then my trust in you is going to lower a lot.

    First relationship, not thinking shes a unicorn but there is certainly dread towards what she can do when im not around.

    I dont mind breaking up if it has to be done but after seeing how women with bf can be (giving the fuck me eyes even though their bf is next to them) it kinda destroyed my ability to be confident in women not cheating.

    Any advice ?

    [–]sleepyinbk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Damn you're paranoid. When a dude is that paranoid and controlling it's like you're just inviting a lady to step out. Do you expect her to tag-a-long every time you hang out with guy friends? Creeping up behind to make sure you don't ever look at another woman? Or are you in some sort of couples-only activities bizarro world of eventual doom?

    The thing you eventually realize is that everyone gives strangers the fuck you eyes once in a while. That shit is fun. I've never cheated on a girlfriend (being the other man is another story) but I'd be lying if I said I'd never eye-fucked another chick when I was wasted. It's hard to keep that under control forever. It slips. She never cheated on me. I could smell her fear and lies!

    I'm sure my girl has leered at some dude she thought was hot. Whatever. No big deal. As long as she doesn't fuck other dudes it's like whatever. Who cares. What I don't witness in this regard doesn't hurt me. As long as a girl is loyal and you can trust her, let her enjoy her man-candy the same we enjoy hot chicks at the bar. Sure I'd be a jealous bitch if I absolutely knew she was making a habit of it or if she did it around me. That would piss me off. But absolutely no flirty looks at the opposite sex ever while having a night out with your pals? How boring.

    If just the idea of her looking at some dude she would fuck while single and appreciating that for herself momentarily truly gives you pause, you gotta get real. Men and women are the same in one regard. Just because we're not out there fucking other people doesn't mean it'll absolutely never cross our minds. You've never gotten into playful argument about the one DTF woman she would have to make an exception for if you were miraculously given the chance? I guess this would suck if her hypothetical cheating pass dude looked totally opposite you in every way and she went out of her way to rub your face in it. Otherwise who cares. Taking everything too seriously is a bummer.

    Is the idea of her cheesing at one dude over the course of a significant LTR an absolute deal breaker? Get real. We all would be up for a little strange now and then. Doesn't mean looking at someone makes you a cheater.

    On the other hand, banning her from going out to bars/clubs without you could be a very possible unconscious sign that you're really not into this chick and that you're not very confident as regards to the volatility of the relationship. If you feel like you need an excuse to break up, do favor for her (and you) - just end things. Unless you have true alpha swag I don't see shutting ladies night down this completely going well.

    blahblah TLDR let her perv out with her lady friends once in a while. it's good for the sex life!

    I mean the reason I'd look forward to her going out was the surprise wake up for sex after I passed out. I mean it was totally because I am just that fine a piece of ass and she could not resist disturbing my slumber. Of course it was!! But if one of the times that happened it was after she ran into some Chris Hemsworth looking bro on the subway and it got her feeling frisky, oh well. IDGAF. Just happy for the wake up sex. No need to feel like you're taking advantage of a drunk chick if she's the one peeling your boxers off and you've been dating for years. Who gives a fuuuuuck

    holy fuck that is a wall of text

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Thats why I explicitly put up boundaries like not going to bars with her friends when im not here. Is that too controlling ?

    The proof of it being too controlling is if it makes her want to do it. OR, if it makes her think you are weak and insecure for trying to tell her what to do. know what I'm saying?

    Check my submitted history; at least half my posts are about boundaries.

    [–]sleepyinbk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    this is an interesting angle.

    [–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She's not going to cheat on you if a) she's not a piece of shit and b) you don't turn into a boring loser.

    Unless she finds a better option. Women are always looking to upgrade. My ex-wife is marrying a millionaire in November. The guy's Beta AF but he's loaded.

    [–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You have no idea how many men here have said what you just said.

    People act like LTR's are TRP on hard mode. Bullshit. LTR's are hard for fucking losers who are with low quality women.

    Many of these men come back to TRP when their unicorn turns out to be another hypergamous chick. Wait until you're sick for a prolonged period of time or lose your job and have to tighten the belt for just a little bit longer than is comfortable. They're AWALT for a reason.

    There are lower quality women but in general AWALT is always true and that's why A stands for "all". You can have 15 years and 6 kids. It does not matter. You need to wake up.

    [–]TRP VanguardWhisper 117 points118 points  (7 children)

    +1.

    Your woman is your follower, not your destination or your mission. Do the shit you were going to do with your life, and allow her to come along on the magical adventure if she carries her weight and is fun to travel with.

    You can let yourself love her, but you must be willing to write that off, cut her lose, and keep any mourning short and internal if she becomes difficult or not-fun. You are Caesar conquering Gaul, not Caesar conquering some clam's fluffy little romantic dreams.

    Do bend a little on the "no lists of rules" thing if she's into BDSM, though. (And if she's not, why the fuck are you with her?)

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    +1.

    The irony! I wrote this up months ago and just sat on it, because YOU said you were writing up an intensive LTR guide. I thought my post would be TRP heterodoxy.

    You are Caesar conquering Gaul, not Caesar conquering some clam's fluffy little romantic dreams.

    I had a laugh, thanks.

    [–]TRP VanguardWhisper 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    The irony! I wrote this up months ago and just sat on it, because YOU said you were writing up an intensive LTR guide.

    Guilty as charged. My to-do list is very, very long. I swear if I could figure out how to make a real living off this shit (not just a cheesy Patreonesque bitcoin tip jar that people still complained about), I could turn it into a full time job... I have that much half-finished material, idea outlines, etc. I could fill several books.

    At least twice as much as I ever do here is spilled in disorganized rants for an audience of no one but FunSize, or Kitten, or FanGirl, or given as advice to individual people in PMs. Having the ideas doesn't take the time and energy, it's cleaning them up and making them presentable.

    So anything you throw out there makes my not-a-job easier, because I can concentrate on the bits others haven't covered, and just hit what really needs to be hit, rather than everything that ever popped in to my head.

    [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    At least twice as much as I ever do here is spilled in disorganized rants for an audience of no one but FunSize, or Kitten, or FanGirl, or given as advice to individual people in PMs.

    That was the worst part of your moving away. We used to talk late into the night, bounce a lot of ideas back and forth, and those conversations usually got me pumped to write articles.

    Without anyone to talk to I mostly just answer occasional PMs and askTRP questions.

    [–]TRP VanguardWhisper 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Won't be forever, brother. I'm counting the months.

    [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm still sitting on the outline for the comprehensive bitch management guide. Wanna nail down a solid structure so it's organized, flows logically, and we can finally nail it to the church door.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Wise words.

    WOman IS your follower, and not the ultimate aim, or mission.

    And she wants it to be like that.

    She cant love, respect or follow the man who follows her or pedestalize her, by very hypergamic NATURE.

    [–]atomictty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Do bend a little on the "no lists of rules" thing if she's into BDSM, though.

    I guess the key distinction here is that /you/ enjoy properly training your sub and that's why you do it, not because you think it's going to keep her around.

    [–]zdenipeni 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    The lowest of the Beta males are the ones that leave their bros whenever they get some a girlfriend , stop going out with them, reduce all contact and when the girls leaves them they act like nothing ever happened

    [–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This needs to be higher. I'm often surprised how often faux alpha's disappear when they get a new women. Then when you see them again it's clear they're in her frame.

    Some even believe their in charge and she's absolutely in love with him. Then I have a little chat with her away from everyone and the flirting starts and she falls in my frame almost every time.

    Faux alpha's are some of the easiest targets for aware women.

    edit: added a word

    [–]linkschode 90 points91 points  (32 children)

    I don’t agree with your post. Betraying someone is not okay.

    Mutual trust and respect if you’re in a LTR is the key to its long term success.

    Here’s some advice to all of you: no it’s not okay to come home reeking of strange pussy. That doesn’t mean taking a shower first is the solution, not betraying your LTR by fucking strange pussy in the first place is the solution.

    If you cheat on your partner you’re a piece of untrustworthy shit, no better than the poison pussy we so often rally against here.

    Still, I appreciate you taking the time to write the post, it was well written and a good read despite me not agreeing with all of it.

    [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    Mutual trust and respect if you’re in a LTR is the key to its long term success.

    A quality relationship creates trust. Trust doesn't create a quality relationship.

    A lot of people misunderstand the concept of trust. Trust is often confused with the term faith, as though trust means to believe in someone.

    My brother is a great guy. I trust my brother to bring my truck back safely when he asks me to borrow it. He has demonstrated the ability to be responsible with taking care of my things, so I trust in his ability to continue to take care of my things.

    But that doesn't mean he has the capability to all things. Despite being responsible with my truck, my brother is not a medical doctor, so I would not trust him to perform brain surgery on me.

    Trust isn't a blank check. Trust isn't "all or nothing." You trust someone as a result of them demonstrating their ability to be trustworthy, but that doesn't mean they are trustworthy for all things.

    Don't confuse your faith in them as being the same thing as them having the abilities you believe they should have.

    Trust is saying "because of my history with this person, I can point to things that prove they are capable of doing <blank>."

    Without being able to point to history to prove trustworthiness, what you're saying is "despite not having any evidence of this person's capability to do this thing, I total believe they can do it."

    By definition, that isn't trust; that's faith.

    [–]tbu987 5 points6 points  (9 children)

    I think his point is keep the abundance mentality up. You should never feel that its your duty to put up with any bad behaviour from her. That way it keeps you from putting her on a padestal and eventually turning your relationship to shit. You dont want to turn into her pet at home you want to be the person in control. A man with options is a man in control. Doesnt mean you have to cheat just means you know her leaving you will not be the end of the world for you.

    [–]a_crapybara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's very sly and covert behavior. Feminine, really-- I agree.

    [–]whuttupfoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Its only cheating if you agree to her request for sexual exclusivity. Which was an assumption on your part.

    [–]lopsidedlucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get your cucked moralizing ass the fuck out of TRP. If you want to be moral go right on ahead however, this is the last place for you to pass judgement on these men.

    How in the hell has TRP sunken so fucking low that this guy spouts beta blue pill bullshit as gospel and the incels here upvote the beta.

    [–]modTheRedPike[M] -6 points-5 points  (9 children)

    Betraying someone is not okay.

    Are we moralizing today?

    [–]DrExtra 33 points34 points  (8 children)

    So we complain about women not having honor and morals and now we stoop to their game doing the same lame shit and lies. Ok.....

    [–]Jimmy_Greenteeth 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    They don't have honour and morals so why should we? When I find myself treating my LTR pretty badly with all the dread game and such I start to feel guilty. Then I stop and think that if the balance of power was ever shifted in the relationship she would be doing the same exact thing to me and she would not be feeling guilty about it.

    [–]DrExtra 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Because bro facepalm lol....at the end of the day you doing some female shit. If you gotta lie and do all this other shit just to play the game you playing the game like a female with feminine energy whether you know it or not. Are you a man or a woman? If you're a man....THEN ACT LIKE ONE. Dont stoop to their level doing their same booshit. Keep what makes you a man. Honor, pride and dignity. If a girl end up doing some weak ass cuthroat shit, THEN FUCK HER. You dont need her anyway. Keep your pride and move on....Its time we men stop acting like emotional ass hoes and stop worrying about us getting hurt and start pursuing their passions.

    [–]NeedingAdvice86 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    TRP fanfiction...let is slide.....

    A high value extraordinary man that was truly the mega-Chad behemoth of pussy slaying that had a swimsuit model wife cooking him beans and franks while he was out getting strange pussy smell on him WOULD NOT BE POSTING about it on reddit and a site about helping socially awkward STEM majors get a girl.

    It is fanfiction to produce a heightened sense of jealousy in the usual suspects so that they can dream about what might happen in the future if they could just understand that last nugget of TRP truth.

    Let it slide.

    [–]modTheRedPike[M] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

    Who is complaining?

    [–]RaovacAAA 14 points15 points  (4 children)

    pro tip: if you have to go home reeking of strange pussy, then stop at a gas station and spill some gasoline on your pants first, so that when you get home you will reek of gasoline and have a good reason to take a shower.

    [–]ghetto_tuesdays 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Brotha your digging in some stank 😂

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    pro tip: if you have to go home reeking of strange pussy, then stop at a gas station and spill some gasoline on your pants first, so that when you get home you will reek of gasoline and have a good reason to take a shower.

    Fuck that is funny, and believe it or not, I actually did something very similar once! Went through the garage first and got some paint thinner! LOL

    [–]BootySmackahah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The guys from Motley Crue used to wipe their dicks with hotdog buns after fucking whores and going back to their girlfriends.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (9 children)

    This is why all these jerks keep chanting the defeatist cuck mantra She's not yours, it's just your turn.

    Is it a foundational TRP concept or a defeatist cuck mantra?

    I suppose if the focus is on the word "jerks" (i.e. the guys you're talking to) you have an absolutely solid point (and this is a great post on how to handle LTRs). To the plate-spinner, to the MGTOW who gets laid on the regular with a rotation of women but never cohabitates, preferring to handle all his own shit, to the older guy who bangs younger women, it's just your turn.

    [–]ARKANSA15 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Yeah lot of bullshit in this post but some good. It is always just your turn. The good thing is readers can take what they agree with and discard the rest.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't know what to think of the "toolbox" approach to TRP. Once certain things are accepted, hypergamy (i.e. women's dualistic mating strategy, i.e. AF/BB) the toolbox analogy is fine. Obviously the OP has contributed more than I have.....and I agree with most of this post, to be quite honest. Still, "she's not yours" is a fundamental TRP mindset that the OP definitely agrees with. It was a bit jarring to see a denunciation of it, but then again I think he's denouncing the AFC's who use it as a crutch/excuse.

    [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    If you take it as a statement of impotence, than it is useless imo

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I agree.....I don't see it as impotence, I see it as strength, and I see it as opening a whole world of relationships and women which would otherwise be off limits. I'd never hit on women half my age if I didn't realize I'm just trying to get a turn.

    [–][deleted]  (15 children)

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    [–]Sapientan 14 points15 points  (10 children)

    Take what you need and leave the rest, if it works but you don’t like to look at a certain way, then look at it a different way. I also don’t think women solely exist to make men happy; however, I see no other reason to choose an LTP. If she isn’t making you happy then why the hell would you continue? She may still be a human being, but she shouldn’t continue to be your partner.

    [–]grey_clouds420 4 points5 points  (9 children)

    Exactly. You should want to make the other person happy and vice versa but if it ain’t working it just ain’t. You shouldn’t need a whole damn rule book to finding someone that’s the shit that should just come naturally.

    [–]albino_red_head 3 points4 points  (8 children)

    And part of making HER happy here is literally acting like you're single. You reap rewards of sex and adoration, she reaps rewards of status and security. If you go into it thinking both genders need the same things to be happy then you'll have a bad time.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [removed]

      [–]albino_red_head 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      In effect, wouldn't acting like you're single (apart from having an SO) be the exact same advice as staying the way you are (when you were single)? Are you just re-wording "act like you're single" to "stay the way you are (when you were single)" as the means to achieve your happiness in a relationship?

      I'll admit, I just inserted status and security as a quick red pillish reference as to what might make a woman happy in the above "act like your single" relationship. All in all whether it's called "act like you're single" or "stay the way you are" there's happiness achieved in both scenarios compared to the alternative (changing and becoming codependent). This is a closer model to interdependence in LTR's.

      Also, I would LOVE to hear your explanation of foreplay here.

      [–]grey_clouds420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yes I understand where you are coming from, but as a single person you can involve yourself with people in a way where when you are in a relationship it’s just not acceptable. If you were to be in a LTR I would assume being monogamous would be important no? (Unless it’s an agreed upon thing) So on that aspect acting single other than staying yourself there is a difference in my opinion.

      And I just think that it’s down to both sides with effort and attraction in a relationship.
      You shouldn’t have to keep your partner interested, you should want to keep them interested, you should want to keep doing things that make them feel good. Otherwise what is the point? There’s no point in stability if it’s just boring.

      [–]3itiswr1tten 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      Sociopath is not a medical term and has no meaning, especially the way it's thrown around on the internet.

      This is SELFISH. That's a normal human behavior. Men forgot how to be selfish, and that is the key to learning what it is you actually want out of women.

      [–]grey_clouds420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Care to elaborate on that?

      [–]sleepyinbk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I always thought of sociopaths as more catchall phrase for a spectrum of wacky folks who are generally more impulsive types with regard to their anti-social behavior

      as opposed to a psychopaths who can be totally cool and calculating.

      Ah. They're both blanketed under the antisocial personality disorder tag in DSM V. I wonder if the Psychopath Checklist is still a thing other than turning up in prison studies now and then.

      [–]1OneRedSock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      And what else is there that you expect a man to find? Unconditional love? A best friend? Someone to confide in completely?

      Unconditional love doesn't exist and people who offer the rest of these things come and go throughout life. And why make the person you date those focal points, when they can so easily move along at some point? The Disney dream you think exists beyond the simple principles outlined above also exist beyond the edge of reality. To place the deeper meaning in your life -- found through intimate relationships -- within another individual is a mistake that will leave you bereft once they move on.

      A relationship is made from two individuals who give added value to the other person. The value he is indicating is the sex and having an enjoyable time with that person, and he is seeking no further value beyond these items. These are not shallow values. The conditions both people set within a relationship can be agreed upon or altered at any point, and if the woman is displeased they are free to walk. The only relationships that allow for less alterations are called marriages, but people seem to have expected the rules of marriage to apply to non-married people.

      From my experience, the women with whom I have attempted to "create that deeper" meaning with resulted in poor outcomes. It's not a lie to say that most TRP followers arrived here after having an awakening due to a very poor relationship with a woman; something that was integral to their life which collapsed and created a deep void. These days I temper my dialogue with my sexual partners, because I know the things they don't want to hear.

      But when catastrophe strikes, there's always an opportunity for learning and growth. What we have learned and how we have grown is in this way: for any sort of real support, find this in your good male friends. For the sex and the fun, find this in women. Anything beyond this is an unrealistic expectation. This is proven time and again when you examine how love and limerance work, and how people in other cultures are able to "love" each other after they have an arranged marriage. Because the reality is the effort and work supersede any other woo-hoo bullshit about love, caring, and deep connection.

      [–][deleted]  (12 children)

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      [–]modTheRedPike[M] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      This post was written by someone who's never been in a long term relationship.

      We don't attack people. We attack ideas. This your one and only warning. See, I think the rest of what you said was mostly wrong, but I don't mind people being wrong. I will not abide by them being dicks.

      [–]bucSlayer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Well said mister white knight.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      /u/TheRedPike, talk about moralizing, how about this guy? Reportable?

      Edit: I think I tagged the brigade leader in my comment history, for whatever it's worth. I'm sure you've scrapped with the bitch before.

      [–]modTheRedPike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes, report stuff like that.

      [–]perfidiousfish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This post is a car crash; there's concern trolling, moralising, and it's dripping with estrogen. One key thing though:

      "Be a fucking man"

      This is the kind of shit bloopers and post wall harpies come out with as the reason you should look after her 3 kids. It almost always translates as "put yourself second", so if your hear it, your best bet is probably to do the opposite.

      [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

      This post was written by someone who's never been in a long term relationship.

      Longer than most readers here have been alive.

      I'd wager my life savings on it.

      Go ahead and liquidate those savings and get ready to send them to me.

      Men chase their dreams and accomplish their goals. This can be accomplished while helping a partner chase and accomplish their dreams at the same time.

      Where did I say you can't do this?

      If you're not confident enough to properly select a partner, or emotionally healthy enough to deal with that partner leaving, you're not a man.

      Where did I say "don't be confident enough to properly select a partner"? LOL

      If you're incapable of being strong enough to invest time into someone's happiness other than yourself, you're not a man.

      Where did I say it was a good idea to be "incapable of being strong enough to invest time into someone's happiness other than yourself"? LOLOLOL

      It all boils down to having the strength and confidence to know that you can walk at any point, and so can she...

      Where are you imagining you are disagreeing with the post?

      Not by setting ridiculous juvenile rules

      Where are the "ridiculous juvenile rules" I advised when I explicitly said no rules?

      [–]whitneyanson 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Dude, your entire post is a list of rules from top to bottom. You literally advocated for setting a double standard that completely ignores her emotional investment into you and your relationship. You literally advocated behaving one way, and walking if she wanted to behave the same way. You advocated walking away immediately the moment a woman recognizes she's in an unhealthy relationship with someone who isn't taking her needs into account. If you think for a second that this is a healthy way to co-invest in someone's future and build a life together with them, to co-invest in their happiness, to help them reach actualization in their life, you're fucking 12 or you're middle aged and never been in an actual relationship.

      You're LARPing, and you've got some poor lonely idiots to buy it.

      The only decent advice in the entire post is:

      Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you? You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.

      If she's going to cheat, or you think she would, you have to be strong enough to move on without fear... but all your happy horseshit about insulating yourself from any possible emotional investment is nothing but a weak child's crutch to make up for lacking confidence and self value to recover if you're betrayed.

      Be a fucking man. Stop hiding behind paper thin philosophies and using emotional training wheels.

      [–]NYCSPARKLE 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      What's childish is your contending that anything but the top 1-5% of women are worth "building something" with.

      Building what?

      Building a big McMansion (and concordant pile of debt) to keep up with the Jones's?

      Building a relationship with someone to share your weaknesses and secrets with? You mean a "friend", which you should have plenty of. Also, when the LTR ends she will tell everyone she knows about your weaknesses and secrets.

      You literally advocated for setting a double standard that completely ignores her emotional investment into you and your relationship.

      You're completely ignoring that she has no emotional investment in you. She will put up with you for a while if you lose your job, get fat, etc. and then she will branch swing and I assure you she will not be emotionally hung up on it at all. AWALT.

      [–]FrankCostanza111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "That sounds like a super-theory, Will. That way you can go through life without ever getting close to anyone at all."

      Paraphrasing Good Will Hunting

      [–]lovs2spuge 16 points17 points  (5 children)

      A good buddy of mine has dated HB8-10’s just about his whole life. Each time he’s dated one, he more or less did everything you outlined above and i always wondered “how does his gf not get mad/leave him?” And each time, the relationship has been under his terms and he’s walked away when she started giving him too much trouble or when there was nothing left for him to get out of it. It’s as if he’s swallowed the red pill his whole life yet he doesn’t even know this exists.

      Now i realize it was because he acted single in every single one of those relationships and it worked every time. He kept his girlfriends pining after him. Girls would rather feel sad/mad/in the dark than feel nothing at all.

      [–][deleted]  (16 children)

      [removed]

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Found the brigade leader, right here.

        [–]whuttupfoo 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people, much less cheat.

        I can tell you’re theorizing and haven’t actually tested this hypothesis. This just isn’t true. It does the opposite and will increase her attraction toward you. Do you guys not read the sidebar? This is basic red pill 101. Women would rather share a high value man than be stuck with a low value beta male.

        [–]captainsadness1010 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        even if you don't want to. That's called being a fucking adult, not some awkward flirty teenager

        its nice to have a reminder of reality in this thread. you can get so caught up in reading the good-sounding concept of a post without realizing that reality isn't always TRP

        [–]Prison4SideofBeef 2 points3 points  (8 children)

        I hope you all realize this is bullshit dreamt up by some sad perma-virgin. While you should continue doing the things you enjoy and pursue your individual interestsa major element of being a couple is going to events together, even if you don't want to. That's called being a fucking adult, not some awkward flirty teenager. I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people, much less cheat.

        wrong on both of your guarantees.

        I can also guarantee that any woman with even an ounce of self-respect will leave you if you flirt with other people

        It actually just turns most girls on more.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        It actually just turns most girls on more.

        Preselection, etc. Very, very true.

        Major brigading going on right now. Damned shame.

        [–]Auxfite 25 points26 points  (4 children)

        I acted single with my ex HB9 but she had PTSD & BPD so you could imagine that nightmare.

        This post should add to never get in LTR with a women with mental illnesses

        [–]askmrcia 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        This post should add to never get in LTR with a women with mental illnesses

        Why? Isn't this common sense?

        [–]Aeroxis4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I can relate to this. You can't apply the concept to all women.

        [–]Messin-About 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        This sub is so weird. You guys will be about 85% “yeah sure i could see that being good advice” and then slip in some bullshit. This entire post is essentially just “be individuals, together” which is a normal thing people understand but then you slip in something like “hehe I came home smelling of another women, mysterious eh?”. Why?

        Edit: because I'm banned now and cant reply. My problem is the sub takes normal healthy advice and ruins it with some macho man nonsense.

        [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        You are saying there is a problem without actually saying what the problem is. So what is it?

        [–]2Overkillengine 25 points26 points  (3 children)

        The subtext some of you are probably going to miss from this is you basically cannot be dependent on her for anything. You must live as if you can and are going to handle everything yourself, and she's just the helper for now. And you have to be able to back that up, and be willing to cut her loose and replace her the moment she becomes more a burden than an asset. Rest assured, if you become dependent upon her for anything in any facet of your life, you are queuing yourself up for some disappointment in the best case scenario.

         

        Yes, that includes child rearing too. Replacement wombs are being born every day.

        [–]HeadingRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        You summed it up - guys if you only do one thing right with a woman you are in a LTR with this is it. She'll loose more interest over failing in this area than if you gained 50lbs or went broke.

        [–]rockyp32 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        So is cheating on a LTR frowned upon here?

        [–]modTheRedPike[M] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

        Frowned upon? That sounds like a moral judgement. You most certainty get to do that, but we don't discuss moral judgments here. If you have objective reasons why it's a bad idea, please share them. Moralizing is strictly forbidden. You weren't doing that, right?

        [–]rockyp32 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Ok well I’m not trying to moralize but I’m trying to understand why that is an accepted idea in TRP I understand improving yourself then getting a lot of girls but when u choose to settle down that’s the sacrifice you make unless the girls cool with it

        [–]modTheRedPike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        choose to settle down

        Oh dear.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Bro, you have been one of my favorite commenters for a long time. I have talked you up to the mods. They say "yeah, we're watching him." But where are your submitted posts?

        You should have stopped reading when it was clear this was about LTRs. If you think that's impossible I don't even know why you replied to the post.

        The fact is, the VAST majority of dudes reading this will end up in LTRs. It's just what happens in the real world. And then they will fuck it up sooner rather than later, because they had no guidance. It's just as simple as that, and that is why I write posts about LTRs.

        Chicks get bored, they take you for granted and always find some way to fuck it all up. Like clockwork.

        Yeah, and all men are rapists. I can't take any of that hyperbole seriously.

        If you want regular sex, getting into a commitment is one of the dumbest fucking strategies for it ever.

        So fucking many dudes on TRP are talking like "commitment" is a thing, like a ceremony or contract or sworn oath or something. It's not. It's only her perception of your availability to her or to other women. You most definitely can control that.

        Let me just say right here, I don't want "regular" sex, I want stellar mind-blowing sex, and I'm having so much more of it with so much less effort than ANY of my single friends. OTOH I'm having more of it than my married friends, so that's a wash.

        When did it go from "It's Just Your Turn" to "It's Your Turn But You Can Make It Really Long And Even Really Cool Too!"

        I'll tell you what, the last time it was "My Turn With Her" was when I was 19, and fucking teenager. Since then, it's been "Her Turn With Me." I call the shots.

        The raw violation over and over of the sidebar for this

        Show me where it says that. I see "Discussion of sexual strategy" I don't see "Discussion of ONS only" or "Discussion of no LTR ever" or "Discussion of prostitutes when you get old." You can do anything you want.

        You aren't a rock star, you aren't an astronaut

        Actually, I am a rock star. And I was almost an astronaut, until my eyesight started to go.

        If you can't tell, I enjoyed the shit out of your comment, looking forward to more.

        [–]3LiveAFTSOV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When did it go from "It's Just Your Turn" to "It's Your Turn But You Can Make It Really Long And Even Really Cool Too!"

        It hasn't. I always praise black culture for this:

        Have a main bitch you love, with many side hoes you love fucking.

        A girl who is around often you get along with, more for companionship, and acouple other hoes for pre-selection... threesomes/foursomes... social proof, and for dread.

        Don't get married - have long fulfilling relationships that are held together by freedom, not law / obligation. Spend years together cus you enjoy it and it benefits you, not cus society says.

        If the LTR dumps you, or you dump her, WHO CARES - you still have your plates. One of them will step up to be your new LTR that's how it works.

        LTRs can last for years, and remember, main chick, side hoes. Just dont get the government involved by getting married.

        [–]LucidCunning 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        " (Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck. Guys, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to play, but I have had my fun.) "

        I belly laughed. Bro, are you Ex-Mormon?

        ETA: Great article. I'm seeing this pattern at work more than ever now around me. (I'm not in a LTR, but my dad is and you nailed him and his girl perfectly, among others I know.)

        [–]qwerty8008135 14 points15 points  (6 children)

        Then she will do the same thing to you. This is shit advice

        [–]TakinCareOfBizznizz 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        Even if you do the opposite, she can still do you dirty. May as well make your happiness first priority.

        Remember, a woman's love and compassion is conditional. They change up as often as her emotions do.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

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          [–]TakinCareOfBizznizz 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Autumnmerp uses Shame Language!

          Its not very effective....

          [–]modTheRedPike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Door shown.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Effectively got her reported for concern trolling.

          [–]twdziki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Then she will do the same thing to you. This is shit advice

          So what? You're not dependent on her. If you don't like her behaviour you can always find another one.

          [–]1nc3l1 16 points17 points  (10 children)

          This is a very high IQ post.

          The problem with a lot of normie/sub-tier guys is that it takes FUCKING AGES to get into a relationship, with a shit ton of effort on our parts, improving game, putting in the time and effort for online dating, paying to take them out, trying to impress them amidst the literal SEA of matches they're getting on Tinder.

          So when we end up in a relationship, it's kinda like winning a race. You slow down, wipe your head with a towel. Drink a Gatorade. Sit down. Veg out. We celebrate the fact that we got them, and we can just chill out now, put them on a pedestal and give them all the feels. We retract from our game, we open up more, we share feelings, yada yada.

          This is what we do wrong.

          What we should be doing is maintaining frame and gain even moreso. We should be looking to fight for attention from other women even while we're in the relationship, even if (well actually especially) if our SO's don't like it.

          Don't share feelings, that's a woman's territory. BE A MAN. Be the man you thought you had to be before you'd secured her. Don't change one iota of your existing life. Don't give up on friends just cos she don't like them. Don't start going to knitting classes together just cos she wants to do it as a couple. Maintain your frame.

          Then by the time she inevitably cheats on you, chances are you'll already be doing the same. Win, win. Instead of being a blubbering wreck when she unexpectedly dumps you, you'll be a triumphant god who has another chick waiting for you to pump her THE SAME DAY.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [removed]

            [–]1nc3l1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Even though I feel like putting her on a pedestal and focusing on her.

            Try concentrating your focus to the times when you can be intimate. Do be a good lover. Do stuff like massaging her, etc, as a prelude to a sensual night in. Don't have conversations about feelings or telling her how she's the best thing to ever happen to you. It's all about concentrating your focus.

            [–]HeadingRed 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Spot on as to "I've won the race time to chill". I've done that as well. I think the hardest part is not opening up when something bothers you. You do it once and she makes you feel better, treats you extra nice, etc. Then it becomes a habit - you have a shit day, she makes you feel better - and you slide down the chart from man she adores, respects and will be her rock to man-child dependent.

            [–]1nc3l1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            I think the hardest part is not opening up when something bothers you. You do it once and she makes you feel better, treats you extra nice, etc. Then it becomes a habit - you have a shit day, she makes you feel better - and you slide down the chart from man she adores, respects and will be her rock to man-child dependent.

            I know brah, this exactly. It's so easy to do as well. But I think I've finally learned my mistakes. My problem in the past has been having too little else going on in my life, so they've been the biggest change in it, and it's all too obvious. Can't let this happen again.

            [–]_TheRP 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            Eh. You know when you hear women complain about not being able to get laid? This is the same shit.

            All women can get laid all the time. Right now there is probably 30% of the male population that'll gladly shove their dick in anything with a pulse. What women mean when they say "I can't get laid" is actually "I can't get guys I want to fuck to ride me like a wild horse". Women want to fuck 2+ levels higher than themselves on the 1-10 scale, with an absolute minimum of 5 or 6. Men will fuck anything in their neighborhood on the 1-10 scale.

            Relationships are the exact opposite. A woman with latch on to any dude with provider characteristics that's in her neighborhood on the 1-10 scale. Men want a woman that is 2+ levels above them if they're going to poney up with some commitment.

            I say all of that to say this - it's the same for everyone. All of that 'work' you're putting in that you think Chad isn't putting in, you're wrong. How the fuck do you think he became Chad?

            My best friend in college was a fucking beast. 5'10" and 195 pounds of muscle. Always 10% body fat or less. Guy could rep out 315 on flat bench like I could rep out 185. It was ridiculous. Being young and stupid, I asked him if he watched what he ate or what - he looked at me like I was retarded and said 'nah bro, this is all genetic, I popped out like this'.

            Of course I felt like an idiot. The work never stops.

            [–]Celicni 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Being young and stupid, I asked him if he watched what he ate or what - he looked at me like I was retarded and said 'nah bro, this is all genetic, I popped out like this'.

            I assume by this you mean the law 30: Make your accomplishments seem effortless.

            [–]_TheRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            He just deadpans shit all the time. It's really funny.

            Again, we were really close friends. It wasn't a dick measuring contest.

            [–]MilkMoney111 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            I made a comment about cheating and how it prevented me from entering depression after the LTR breakup and was downvoted over it. TRP is amoral, or was. I was simply saying what made my breakup easier to deal with.

            Eventually in a LTR you well get lower returns on your investment until you’re at a net loss. And at this point guys start becoming dull and shadows of their former selves. They lose that spark. I believe this is why many cultures advocated for mistresses or multiple wives.

            If you want to get married and remain loyal, at least flirt with other women.

            I had a moment of dread after around 3 years in my LTR where I realized that this was going to be the only pussy I’d have for the rest of my life. And the sex was amazing. She was always pushing for it. And it got kinkier and nastier the longer we were together. But I still wasn’t satisfied fully.

            The Coolidge effect was very real. Our biology geared is to spread our seed. When you deny that, it’s easy to become washed up.

            [–]bestsparkyalive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I love this place . It’s changed my whole life. I was a beta cuck and I’m so thankful for TRP: all the pain is worth it

            [–]dryenz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Why not be single instead of acting like single

            [–]2CasaDeFranco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Because this way you can cheat on your partner because that's alpha. /s

            [–]BootySmackahah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Once. But I've always ended things with the girl cause I got bored, complacent and attracted by other girls.

            Screw me, I'm chubby, short and decent looking. But I stand my ground. If I'm gonna cheat, ill have the decency to call it off first.

            [–]Scandinavianredpill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Quality content, so far between these days on TRP. mature and well taught out, without being dogmatic.

            I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying here, it's irrational to fear a relationsship with a woman if you truly just enjoy it and don't fear losing her at all (because you know you are in demand, and because she is totally into you).

            [–]2chazthundergut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            "what attracted her in the first place will continue to attract her."

            Very true.

            The lioness detests the lion's long fangs and sharp claws. She will beg and plead and seduce him until he gets rid of them.

            But the moment he loses his fangs and claws, she can no longer feel attracted to him.

            Never lose your edge

            [–]cantstopper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            This post paints all women with the same brush. Once you meet the "right one," you won't need to do this garbage and can dedicate yourself to her (and she to you) 100%.

            OP's post makes me think he settles with sluts who are not worth his time investment in the first place.

            [–]toolguy8 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            Ironic - you are trying to control people who are doing as they like by saying they shouldn’t allow anyone to control them.

            [–]albino_red_head 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            how are they controlling anyone but themselves? Didn't he say that he or she can walk?

            [–]bitopansad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Such a quality post. Exactly this, is what I've been doing for the past 7 years and then I lost it in between ( fuck me and my blue pill edges of last year, but a man's gotta fail to learn more ). I had a tumultuous first two years at work and the rough patch still continues. But instead of falling into the blue pill trap and digging deeper, I've gotten plates for myself and then I got back my LTR too.

            Right now, I'm the boss who drives the relationship. Sex is a million times better, fitness is at an all time best, and I've finally found the desire to work on my career for real.

            This was the mantra I stood by when I committed myself to the girl 7 years ago. ALYAS. And this is what a stand by now multiplied by a million times. From cum's meh to swallowing it like cheese in a span of a year is pretty good progress by my standards.

            [–]badaod 4 points5 points  (6 children)

            This is the single best post here I have read all month, thanks for that! The intro is what brought my LTR down and got me on the RP path.

            Question: what if she brings up she wants sexual exclusivity? How long can you sidestep that or do you have a formula how to deal with it?

            [–]fromthebottom 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            If she brings it up it’s a bit of a red flag I think.

            [–]badaod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I guess this is it.

            Or you gave away too much honesty from the start and killed mystery.

            In any case: if she tries to make you say “I will never have anal in my life again” (or shit like that), it’s probably a dead end anyway.

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Question: what if she brings up she wants sexual exclusivity? How long can you sidestep that or do you have a formula how to deal with it?

            Another guy said "red flag" and I have to agree.

            I have had the what are we? convo a few times, always failed it, in both ways. (A) I said "I really like you, you're so fun and interesting" and she said "maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore" or (B) I said "this is just sex" and she took off.

            Exactly zero of my good LTRs featured an exclusivity conversation. It was just an assumption on her part, and she didn't need to know what or whom I was doing when she wasn't around.

            [–]Self-honest 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Extremely insightful. I too have had that talk many times.

            1) Let's just keep doing what we're doing without labels. I hate labels, they change the dynamic and mess things up (Cool for a few months). Then the talk comes again with tears and I broke down and committed. Attraction dissipated over the next 6 months until cheating and ugly break up.

            2) What are we going to do when the summer ends? (Summer fling at the beach, I had a senior year of college waiting on me 4 hours away). "Let's just cross that bridge when we get there." Attraction was gone within a few weeks as I tried to add more comfort after stating my position but feeling for hers.

            3) I love you to death, seriously. "I don't think exclusivity is healthy. It's better if we both just keep seeing each other because we enjoy it and make that decision every time."(literally my favorite explanation with maybe a little of #1 peppered in). Cue the false rape allegations about another guy she fucked in an attempt to branch swing, slut it up, or whatever. Most likely to engage my protective instincts which I fought and succumbed to. And then the attraction slowly died off.

            I think I am prepared to handle it now. The data would suggest otherwise.

            So.....only a woman who is confident enough to move forward without asking for committment, is worthy of it. Or something like that huh?

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Exactly zero of my good LTRs featured an exclusivity conversation.

            So.....only a woman who is confident enough to move forward without asking for committment, is worthy of it. Or something like that huh?

            I couldn't put it into words until you did. Brilliant interpretation. You may have the honor of putting it to the test, see if it's a hard and fast rule, my friend.

            [–]sabinmightyfist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Just two thoughts

            1) Relationships do have some give and take. Hanging out with your girlfriends sister is boring as fuck, but sometimes I'll just do what she wants if its important to her. There'll come a time when you want her to do something that she doesn't want to do (my office get togethers for example).

            2) The rest of this post is solid fucking gold. This is more or less how I've been handing my relationship for the last 5 years and its going fucking amazingly.

            [–]confusedguy911911 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Excellent post , pretty much be the person you want to be always .If a woman sees value and wants to follow great,if she tries to change you or complain ,next her.Life is too short to spend it pleasing someone else

            [–]Eyeswideopend 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I concur, makes perfect sense. We are born alone and die alone and somewhere along the way we have been made believe being partnered with someone will ease this pain, if you live like you could die at any moment or your partner could do the same you effectively spin on your own axis (act single)

            Life is to be enjoyed

            [–]Paltenburg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            > it's just fun. That's why you were doing those things when you were single.

            Exactly, I never understand why guys change their behavior... where you putting on an act before?

            [–]CMajorThe3rd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Tldr; how to ltr, dont.

            [–]JamzeNeu 0 points1 point  (7 children)

            Removed?

            [–]modTheRedPike 0 points1 point  (6 children)

            It's the first time I've seen automod nuke a sticky thread. Herm.

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

            It's the first time I've seen automod nuke a sticky thread.

            I missed it. How did that happen?

            [–]modTheRedPike 0 points1 point  (4 children)

            Fuck if I know. It goes insane sometimes. Luckily I wandered into the sub about 5 minutes after it happened.

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

            Predictably brigaded. All these comments below have been downvoted:

            Excellent contribution!

            Loved it bro.

            I think this is side bar material.

            This post needs to be stickied.

            LOL

            [–]VickVaseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            That's why I like beer: it makes me see double and feel single.

            [–]Gaydolf1932 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You talk about a sexually creative person. What’s there to be creative about in sex? I’m young and new to it, so advice will be appreciated.

            [–]Bat_Shitcrazy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I feel like this whole thing can be summed in a nicer way for your girl by saying, keep trying to impress her physically (keep trying to dress up and hit the gym, just look and smell nice), and be your own person (keep your hobbies and interests).

            [–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            And generally speaking: Maybe just stop being monogamous and 90% of the problems disappear.

            [–]marjeh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            So basically, have an abundance mentality as you continuously improve yourself and always be willing to walk away.

            Women are the desert of life, not the main dish.

            [–]SilkTouchm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single? Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.

            There are things such as MLTR's or OLTR's you could try if you get the paradigm of monogamy out of your head for a second.

            [–]casemodz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I would advise against this but judge her actual character and don't commit until you actually know her well enough to stop chasing other women.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Good text.

            Exactly as I was doing, and I am doing now.

            Before I was doing it, because women I was dating were good but not compatible with my personality or mine aims in life - it wanted sex on constant basis. Of course, my behaviour somehow diminished their passion in the terms of feeling they are in commited relationship.

            Now I am in compatible relationship, yet, I have big portions of actiong like I am single, as I know women's nature, and I need to have my freedom to be creative and feel good, also I love to keep my mind sharp, by approaching and talking to other women too.

            Wonderful thing is, they tend to be even more attracted, when they realize I am in the relationship.

            Funny, eh?

            [–]ramfex21 0 points1 point  (3 children)

            What do you say to other women when they ask if you have a girlfriend?

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            What do you say to other women when they ask if you have a girlfriend?

            I have actually never been asked that. If I was I'd probably say something stupid like "I have lots of them."

            [–]ramfex21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Yea , if you say you have a girlfriend, I find women treat you differently. Although I recon many would be open to you cheating with them as long as you don’t make a big deal of it

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yea , if you say you have a girlfriend, I find women treat you differently. Although I recon many would be open to you cheating with them as long as you don’t make a big deal of it

            yeah, check this out, I didn't go into it, I just mentioned it, but female grad students don't care about your relationship status, they'll fuck you regardless

            [–]DeeplyDisturbed1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I have always tried to act the same while in a relationship as I do when single. It is not exactly the same, but close. This makes life easy and gives my women a sense of ease knowing that I do not change much (holding frame starts with this).

            The key difference is the nature of my relationships with other women when I am committed to one - I do not mess around.

            [–]GorillaFingerprint 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Timely advice for me thanks. I've been with this girl for 11 months and started to relax control over my time recently. This was a good reminder. I told her I was golfing and drinking with my friends again this weekend (did the same last weekend) she called me tonight to nag about it. I read this article hours earlier. I stood strong over the phone and after keeping it up for 10minutes she was apologizing for being clingy for the rest of the call.

            [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Good stuff! Keep it up.

            I should maybe repost some stuff about "don't be afraid to have a woman be mad at you." My top advice for you guys.

            [–]BloodMossHunter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            ITT: Virgins without LTR's.

            Go move in together and live for a couple of years, then try acting like you're single.

            [–]flibbitythrowaways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            tbh I've found TRP content to be pretty accurate for short term relationships, new relationships, dating advice. but as soon as you get into the territory of a LTR it all breaks down, probably partly because some of the people creating content haven't been in any (by choice or not), but partly because by that point it's impossible to generalize your personal relationship.

            [–]AnyDoughnut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I am too lazy and uninterested to read the entire post, but the large bolded sentence is all that you really need to know. Always act as though you are single is very accurate. Familiarity and closeness breeds boredom and causes sexual tension to dissipate. The more time you spend around your LTR the less sexual tension there will be. Her competition anxiety evaporates if you make the mistake of living together, and even worse, if you spend most of your time together.

            A relationship metric I have always used to get a feel of how the relationship is going is the frequency in which I am getting oral. If the bjs stop happening you know you are getting too familiar and comfortable and have to peel back the attention you are giving her so that she has a healthy dose of competition anxiety.

            I have been in an LTR for about 10 years, and I do also spin a limited number of plates on the side. I find having at least 1 plate on the side allows me to retain an independent mindset and behavior, which actually keeps my LTR running smoothly. To keep her happy and well behaved she has to think you are capable of cheating or possibly even be cheating, but if she actually finds out you are cheating then the relationship can quickly go south.

            [–]a_crapybara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            This is so incredibly convoluted and unrealistic that it makes me wonder if you've ever been in a real LTR. There's good advice here, but the overall post is one giant compromise between some RP fundamentals and feel-good dating advice.

            [–]5ubstanc3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Okay I have a kinda weird case... i’m 18 and i met this girl a month ago who is almost 21 now, when we first met my energy and focus was more towards myself, and i guess she liked that so we kind of connected, talked a lot and had similar personalities, at the time i felt like i was in my prime and nothing could effect me, the way i flowed with this girl without a hint of nervousness or awkwardness. The way you explained acting single, for like the first two weeks of us meeting thats all i could do. But then the feelings came, and i feel like i’ve been slowly losing my frame since. coincidently around the time i met her i had just quit my job, had spent the last of my money, and had to cancel my gym membership (I WAS FUCKING PISSED). i haven’t worked out in over a month and i feel like the timing couldn’t be worse, but this girl claims and seems like she is very invested into me. I feel as if i’m losing my touch, due to multiple things not working out for me while also picking up this girl who i (may) have feelings for. The point of all of this was to ask: is it possible for me to be able to act like im single again without her feeling as if im trying to pull away? Or should i not even worry about that and just do my own thing and get back in the gym and keep working. i can tell im slowly going into a down spiral getting caught up in feelings

            [–]BlackThursday29 0 points1 point  (11 children)

            Act like you're single.

            If she acts like she's single, she's not a candidate for a LTR.

            Uhm ... what?

            [–]Bat_Shitcrazy 0 points1 point  (10 children)

            For real, I don’t want to date someone that is just sitting by their phone waiting for me to call

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