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Building PowerHabits and Momentum (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TwelvePac

Life is all about momentum and habits. When you feel down, you will feel compelled to do things that will bring you more down. For example, when you’re having a lazy day, all you want to do is rest and stay in bed. If you give into staying in this, your mind will next rationalize ‘i’m already in bed, and don’t really have anything pertinent to do, how about I jack off to some porn?’ - No.

The key is snapping out of the comfort of doing nothing and holding no responsibility. The next time you’re compelled to do nothing, negotiate with yourself to do a little bit of something that amounts to a win. Then, the next time do more of that.

As men, we must accept responsibility to do things that will advance our position in life. That is one of the things that make us men. These are things like lifting, meditating, reading/studying, and consciously socializing.

Maybe you’ll need to start small, but do something to snap yourself out of the rut you may be in. Remember, constant steady progress trumps sporadic bursts of progress. You can start to read every day for just 5 minutes, then increase it to 10 after this has been cemented as a habit. Then raise from 10 to 15 and onwards.

The key is building a habit and then riding the momentum to propel you into an improved self. Then, once you’re that improved self, improve even more. Never stop improving. Slow but persistent progress, compounds to great returns in the future.

Everyone reading this has the potential within them to succeed by forming solid habits, yet too many men in our society are squandering. Ask yourself, are you going to pull yourself up or fall like the rest of them?


[–]AlemayehuEfe 114 points115 points  (1 child)

Short and concise. I like it

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Well written, thanks for the motivation!

[–]stoicstephen 107 points108 points  (3 children)

Everytime when I feel a oneitis or some other mental trap building up, I get out the house and run until my legs and lungs turn to ashes.

Most times when that happens, I start crying, but from a place of happiness and freedom.

Sometimes instead of running, I use this fuel to hit pr's in the gym.

Pain sets you free.

[–]userchecks 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very stoic of you, Stephen. Username checks out

[–]vman33 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Needed one of these, been a while thanks for sharing your glow.

[–]1Mr_Badass 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you just have to change one major habit to influence smaller habits. An example is lifting weights as a habit causes you to adopt the habits of eating well and having a good nights sleep.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A big thing with time management I've learned over the years is that we've all been brainwashed. We think we need to spend "X" amount of time, like an hour, for example, or we've wasted time. Spending 2 minutes or less on something is a waste of time, yet its in that tiny window that we could get hooked into that activity, and the end up in positive psychology's idea of "flow" or relaxed effort, and spend much more time with that activity. The internet has also made this more applicable to us, because its warped our brains to multitask more and shift our focus more, which it is generally been found more effective not to multitask. This is something I still struggle like hell with because there is always that gnawing feeling of pointlessness or possible pointlessness keeping us from just starting with something, which takes me to my next point about where that feeling comes from.

I think that there's always going to be some sense of social meaning we feel in whatever we are doing, and we love that feeling. So I think that human beings are going to gravitate towards actions they find are socially meaningful. Say you are an artist of some sort, and your art repeatedly bombs, or you put a lot of work into a small business that bombs, this lack of social meaning can seriously crush that passion. But what trips people up is that there are times you need to form meaningful relationships with people first, before you can get them to acknowledge and give meaning to your passions.

So when you struggle with pursuing a passion, it seems like its primarily struggling with reframing your passion to have enough social meaning. The psychology of risk-taking which goes along with success says that irrationality helps risk-taking, like taking the risk on your passion, but we also need rationality and trying to ignore it too long with irrational optimism won't work for everyone. So this is a huge problem facing human beings, we are in control of each other's potential and don't fully realize it, and our potential is often being squandered because we fail to find ways to grow the social meaning behind our passions.

[–]DaBrokenMeta 8 points9 points  (9 children)

Or when you keep trying to unspiral from your Oneitis and realization/acceptance of TRP, and keep regressing back to playing Video games and bullshitting your life away.

I just failed my last med school exam before our final on Monday, becuz I chose to play video games rather than study.

I am a so dumb for someone with my intelligence and my natural SMV thanks to God's genetics. But somehow, I would rather burn down every inch of everything around me, only finally raising a finger to put that shitt out before it swallows me. Wtf is wrong with me.

I need 90% on my med school final or I fail first semester.

I keep coming back to the safety of my internet forums and pornography and video games. Trying to evade the pain I know I need.

I have one more shot to atone for my sins. I am smart enough, this is my moment

[–]Ultra888 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You got this bro. Having the awareness to even realize YOU are the problem is further then most people ever go. Do what this says. Study for 10 minutes, 15 the next day etc.. Porn is hard to stop but not impossible. Try jerking off without porn at first. Then gradually phase it out completely. Baby steps bro.

[–]DaBrokenMeta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the love bro.

For better or worse I am an all or nothing guy -- Addictive personality?? -- and I execute either the task at hand, or end up executing myself.

There has never been a middle ground in my life. I hope to change that someday. But it starts with one

[–]Anonymous2633 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna try saving you a ton of trouble.

When you're supposed to study and you're avoiding it and avoiding the thought of doint it, step away from your phone. Step away from your computer, sit down.

Spend some time asking yourself "hat is a task that I would do?"._ Pick a smaller task until you say "Yeah, I would do that task. Seems simple enough".

For studying, it could be to take out your books and leave put them on the table and that's it. Chances are you'll open your book and start studying. If you don't, repeat the exercise later. You'll already have one less step to do.

I have more tips but you should try this one first.

[–]The_Noble_Lie -5 points-4 points  (5 children)

Your "medical" school is brainwashing you (with outdated, near useless information for your theoretical future job) and you are subconsciously resisting.

[–]DaBrokenMeta 0 points1 point  (4 children)

? In what way. I have been slacking in my academics. Nothing else to it. Gotta get my fuckking sulk out of the gutter and embrace my inner alpha

[–]The_Noble_Lie 0 points1 point  (3 children)

1) Playing league of legends.
2) Poisoning yourself with pharmaceuticals.

A good doctor this does not make. (Yes I skimmed some of your post history)

[–]DaBrokenMeta 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes. Agreed

I need to change for good. It will be done

[–]The_Noble_Lie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I wish the best of mental skill ( and luck ) to you, sir.

[–]Stealth19l0d 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Just the amount of motivation needed during my break.

Jeff Olson has written a book called "The Slight Edge" that embodies these principles you've mentioned and its a simple, yet powerful read if you practice the message. Real "winners" in life exercise small, yet beneficial daily habits that will increase their self-worth and overall quality of life in the long haul. Like you've mentioned, it might not feel right at the moment, but stick to it and you engrain that habit. He illustrates this practice with a gyroscope built into a rocket that guides its trajectory to its final destination. If the rocket goes off its course, the gyroscope (or your inner values that guide your daily habits) will stabilize the rocket, gearing it back to its ideal destination.

I don't think I have to elaborate on being a "loser" in life. I just wanted to share and build on what you've expressed. Although at times it might seem redundant, I found myself practicing better habits as a result of reading that book.

Thanks again

[–]3LiveAFTSOV 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely true.

Yesterday, I was driving home from work, with the intent of going straight to the gym.

Then, the thought of picking up my plate, drinking, having sex and eating mcdonalds popped into my head.

I asked myself one simple question: "So, do you value being a lazy, weak fuck over being a man?"

I felt the burn that day.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Reminds me of an article I read on how to start a habit of running or exercising. The first step was just to buy some exercise shoes. Next step was to just put the shoes on, then take them off. For the next day, a short run, etc.

It's almost like tricking yourself into good habits.

[–]HostlessPotato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can attest to this technique. It works wonders for me. Used it to start lifting and cold showers now, may be the best habit building tip I've ever learned.

[–]room_303 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is like saying buy a Gym, then lift weights. Shit you don't even need Nike Airs to fucking run, that's just a culture meme.

[–]Solitary_Solidarity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very good post, this one hits home. Last night I stayed up and wrote down about 30 goals I have, quitting porn was one of them. Thanks OP the trouble I still have is finding that motivation, and feel lost trying to change that.

Thanks

[–]RedPilledRoaster 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Good points here.

I keep a list of positive habits I constantly find myself going against during shitty times. This helps to stay on track.

That and meditation.

[–]ElijahBurningWoods 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice motivation, I actually wanted to start reading one hour a day, but atm it never happened because It's way to much. I'll try 5min a day from now on.

[–]Karlsunhk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Simple, yet hard to master.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true. Even something as simple as a nice shower can break a perpetual cycle of self loathing.

[–]BloodSurgery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was sad yesterday because a friend made be remember an old friend, and was wondering if it would still keep me down today, but with this post I now have something else rather than feeling sad, thank you.

[–]artemiswillow808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well written shit! This is some advice I think will work. I've been doing this lately. At 4:00 P.M. I turn all of my shit off, meditate for 5 minutes, work out for 20 minutes, walk for 45 minutes, and then do whatever the fuck I need to do.

[–]ZercherSquat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

OP and the myth of linear progression.

[–]1-800-HOTDOG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What alternative would you suggest?

[–]EscortSportage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This goes along with something i was going to post a couple of weeks ago.

I was feeling lazy, sleepy and comfy. Truth was my neighbor (a cute 25ish yo girl) wanted me to look at her subaru (i do mechanics on the side)

The dealership was trying to pull lots of money from her, typical dealership taking advantage of women, whatever. I was waiting for her to come by for a while now, just as i lay down in bed to take a nap, knowing shes either going to call me, or ring the doorbell both of which will wake me up, she calls me.

i get up, go outside check her oil, check tire pressure, increase tire pressure, check other fluids and tell her shes good. Dont trust that dealership, then i started doing other things in the garage/house etc

i realized if i would have given into that comfy feeling and took a 2 hour nap none of that would have happened.

Yes sleep is important for growth,test, muscles, brain, etc but i caught myself wanting to take a nap and was glad i didnt.

[–]reader8162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can start to read every day for just 5 minutes, then increase it to 10 after this has been cemented as a habit. Then raise from 10 to 15 and onwards.

Growth that is backed by sustained habit doesn't have to be linear. The important thing is to start reading regularly. But you might switch from 5 mins a day to 10 mins a day in a week and from 10 mins a day to a 30 mins a day in the second week. It is important to find your peak and not limit yourself based on the time/money you spend on something. Lot of people spend months on strength training without understanding the basics that require you to push to your limits. Otherwise Habits are just a MASSIVE waste of time. Take the education system. It's based on the premise that students need to go to school everyday. This has resulted in a massive system that turns out bricks rather than real people living their true potential in life.... I agree with most of what you said. Just like to add my 2 cents....

[–]ayaz_khan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great points! I agree wholeheartedly.

[–]Mike_3487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good post.

To supplement what you said...listen to a 7 minute discussion regarding this topic on the Jordan Peterson Podcast - - March 2018 Q&A....

starts at 57:50 ends at 1:03:30

Some funny parts in it, but oh so true.

[–]Ultra888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. I'm living this process right now after living in the degradation phase for too long.

Baby steps. Can't go to a gym atm so I started with push ups for a few days and did my first circuit today and it kicked m.y ass but felt great. Drinking more water. Being mindful of my eating habits. I'm joking again with my family after being a depressed recluse mute. It's all coming together.

Still taking baby steps to cut out the alcohol. Drinking less and less everyday. That's the hardest habit to kick rn. Just wanted to express my gratitude for this sub and this post.

[–]pinchymcloaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I love this sub, keeps me going.

[–]MaxwellGaine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Found an app (iPhone) called “Momentum” which is great for habit forming. I’m not in any way affiliated with them, just found it helpful.

You add in habits/tasks you want to do. It records “streaks” where you hit your targets. It can also send you reminders, handy for me since it’s hard to form a dozen habits at once without forgetting some.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fucking love this community. Thanks, OP.

[–]positivecrystal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

the wise honey spits orgasmic rubbing sensation of buttery truth