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FinanceI am a wealthy man who got divorced. I managed to avoid divorce rape. This is my story. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by liftpraylove

Originally posted this ask/trp thought it would be a good addition here.

This post will hopefully show men considering marriage how to avoid massive asset losses in the event of a divorce. I have always been a very shrewd man when it comes to my finances. Not so much when it comes to my romantic relationships, but I'm working on that now.

My story starts in the mid 90's. I had recently finished my surgical residency and moved out to a state with a severe doctor shortage. I was pulling down well into seven figures annually. However, I myself was working for this money and I always believed that having others working for you is the way to generate true wealth. So I began to open various hotel franchises, restaurant franchises, apartment buildings, etc. I was always concerned about a law suit because well doctors get sued a lot and I did not want to lose money to that, so I began researching into asset protection. The best way to protect one's assets is through an irrevocable trust. This is a trust where you are the beneficiary of all the assets within, meaning you do not own them and creditors cannot take them, but you can still access them. Unfortunately, in most states one cannot setup an irrevocable trust for himself. Nevada, however is an exception to this you can establish a "spendthrift trust" which is essentially an irrevocable trust without being called one. So I converted my franchises and properties into company stock and then moved these stocks into an account in a trust in Nevada.

Now, its the early 2000's about and my company is making slightly more than my salary as physician. So I quit working as a doctor and move full time to manage my company. At this point I was 39 years old and I began to think about marriage. So I began to date seriously. At the time, I had court side tickets to the NBA team in my city so I ended asking out one of the team cheerleaders. She's a total 10/10 bombshell. I thought I was very lucky at the time as she was the most beautiful woman I had ever been with. In retrospect, she was clearly a slut and I beta bucks. She gave birth to our first child 2003 and we got married in 2003 before she gave birth. However, before our wedding and before even setting the date I had seen my parents divorce, my brother get divorced, and several friends so I was wary. I consulted a an attorney and we drew up a prenup. At this time I was already very wealthy especially after investing prudently after the dotcom bubble popped. I had a net worth in the mid 8 figures and profits were well into the seven figures, most of it was already protected in my Nevada trust. The prenup stipulated that she would get $250,000 for every child and $100,000 for each year of marriage she was only making 30K a year so I was being generous. The prenup was signed before we even set the date and we both has separate representation. Also, the signing was videotaped with a retired judge mediating so it was clear there was no coercion. My paranoia ended up paying off later on.

Fast forward several years, it is 2009 and we have one more kid born in 2004. Our sex life has tapered off quite a bit. It is not nearly deadbedroom, but it is only duty sex twice a month. She often would use sex to manipulate me. I had become quite depressed. I had put on a lot of weight due stress. I had lost about half my net worth in the recession and to see all that vanish after years of work was awful. To compound this I find out that my wife has been cheating on me guy. I believe his kids were several years older than mine at the school they went to. I thought about what to do. My girls were my mine concern and I didn't want to risk losing them at such a young age. I was also worried about confronting my wife. I was angry at my wife, the world, her affair partner. I had done everything I was supposed to do and I was losing a lot of money and my wife was cheating on me. I have always been a vindictive SOB so I plotted my way out of the situation. Most of my anger was directed to the dude. Suprisingly, he worked at the time at a company that supplied a lot of the stuff to hotels. I called the company up and they fired him. Keep in mind this was during the midst of the recession. The guy lost his job, got divorced, lost kids, and from what I know now lives in a shitty apartment. It was shitty what I did, but I don't regret it. As far as I know my wife didn't cheat on me after things ended with the other man. This was a wake up call for me. I started to spend a lot more time with my girls and my relationship with my wife actually improved. However, I knew that long term I could not stay with someone who had cheated on me. So I began to prepare myself financially and emotionally for the divorce. Our house was very expensive and we had joint ownership over it so I was afraid of losing it in a divorce. So I took out two mortgages on it and began to put as many of our expenses as possible into credit card debt. My businesses had returned to profitability. I could have taken a much larger salary than I did. However, I kept it artificially low so that when I filed for divorce possible child support would be calculated from a lower income.

Fast forward to 2015. My girls are a bit older and I've been spending a lot more time with them and have been really enjoying it which actually surprised me. My wife and I now only have sex once a month and whenever I don't do what I want she just gets horrible and nasty, worst things I've ever heard. Men who've been in a bad marriage I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I finally file for divorce. As I expected she would do my wife tries to challenge the prenup and go for half my stuff. By this time my net worth had fully recovered so she would have gotten just a massive payout. Luckily, the prenup was pretty solid. And I also had a little bit of leverage. The debt which was considered both of ours that was accumulated. Our lawyers negotiated that she wouldn't challenge the prenup as long as I get all of the debt. I could wipe it out in a year if I wanted to so I readily agreed. So in exchange for the 12/13 years of marriage she got $1,300,000 plus $500,000 for our two girls this ended up being around 3% of my net worth. Due to all the time I spent with my girls we ended up getting 50/50 custody no child support.

Fast forward to today. I end up having my girls most of the time as their mother is off slutting/partying around. I think she felt she ended her youth to early. Our daughters have lost respect for her, which in truth does hurt because I will always feel something for their mother. Luckily though, I have a long term girlfriend who sets a fine example for my daughters. After my divorce I started lifting and I am truly the captain now so to say. I anticipate having to pay my wife in the future though to stay until my girls are 18 because she has almost already gone through the settlement from what I have heard.

akeaways:

-Spend A LOT of time with your kids 1. You'll love it 2. It'll help you in custody battles -Obviously get a prenup 1. Have it signed before the date is set 2. Separate lawyers 3. Signing is videotaped with a mediator present -Use trusts to protect yourself-If you have a friend or brother your trust a lot you can both setup irrevocable trusts for each other -Don't be a beta bucks. I was out of shape for much of the time and was not physically attractive to women. A good standard I now have is would childhood me look up to who I am now or want me as a dad?

Good luck men, any questions I'll do my best to answer


[–]throwawayabay 111 points112 points  (9 children)

My only advice would be to take care of your daughters now. They are no doubt affected by the way their mother has handled everything (and the example she sets for them). Pretend what you want, your stellar GF will never replace their Mom. Going through something like this can be very traumatic and cause deep-rooted issues to develop, and without your daughters being able to process and heal from the demise of their family, they will carry baggage around that will affect them the rest of their lives (coming from a guy whose parents divorced when he was a late teen, and who carries that baggage around even 10 years later, even though I never really showed it back then).

Counseling/therapy can be a great place for them to process and accept the loss they've experienced. They need professional help to cope with and process the divorce.

Good luck, and nice post.

[–]Tacticalogistics 27 points28 points  (8 children)

I don't think they need it, every kid isn't traumatized by a divorce. When I was around 5, I let out all my pain then and realized it wasn't so bad afterwards. It just depends.

[–]innerpeice 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Girls are affected by divorce in ways men are not. Females who grow up in broken homes have ,iirc, a divorce rate of 72%. It's high. Boys are not nearly as affected

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]innerpeice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    not in the divorce rate, as per the study I saw. Ill see if i can find it

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That doesn't mean that 72% of girls from broken homes will have a high divorce rate.

    [–]throwawayabay 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    You're right, and I didn't mean to imply that I know definitively what OP's daughters need (that would be pretty damn presumptuous).

    I meant that OP needs to seriously consider whether they need it or not, that his daughters' emotional needs must be assessed and addressed given the trauma they've experienced. Main point is to make sure they are healthy and are processing and coping as effectively as possible.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You have no idea what you're talking about. I can tell you as someone who said the same shit, then started my own family and only then was I objectively able to understand the drastic impact.

    The people who come out the other end of a divorce without problems aren't "lucky." They've worked through their issues with professionals OR the parents were coached by professionals.

    The problems are substantial and WIDE RANGING. From role models, to attachment, being uprooted etc. It simply is not possible for a person to "work through" these issues without some sort of higher guidance.

    There is a good god damn reason why outcomes of kids from divorce are so incredibly blunted compared to their counterparts. It fucks people up, straight up.

    I would say like almost everyone that goes through this, just like this guy, it takes a LONG TIME to find out what the impact REALLY was, and sometimes you don't understand it till you have your own kids.

    [–]stevo2209 78 points79 points  (16 children)

    What kind of world do we live in where a woman contributing less than 30k a year is somehow entitled almost 2m in a divorce settlement, and this is considered a win for the man.

    Obviously this is part of what you agreed in the prenup, but the lengths you had to go to just to ensure half your life's work didn't get handed to a wife who cheated on you is absolutely insane.

    Sounds like you handled this as well as you could have though.

    [–]insoucianc 37 points38 points  (7 children)

    Lesson: Never get married. Hell, at a certain point the divorce settlement becomes an investment for her to cheat.

    [–]Five_Decades 24 points25 points  (6 children)

    Lesson: Never get married.

    That should be the lesson but sadly there is peer pressure to marry. A lot of guys feel like they haven't 'grown up' unless they marry.

    Luckily that is changing, but it'll be another generation or two before being a lifelong bachelor is considered an acceptable lifestyle choice. I think being single for life in 2017 is about where being gay was in 1980. People won't beat you up for it, but people think there is something wrong with you for doing it.

    [–]insoucianc 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    For younger guys it's sometimes the ONLY choice and by the time they get old/experienced enough to attract women at will they see through their smoke & mirrors, killing the magic and idea of marriage. I'd give it one more generation tops.

    [–]tMoohan 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    The majority of people I know don't see a point in getting married in the future, this is coming from someone who is 16 and also sees no benefit of marriage.

    [–]Five_Decades 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Yeah but are the majority of people you know women?

    For men, marriage is a losing proposition, but it is a winner for women. Women value commitment more than men, and divorce courts are misandrist. So for them its win/win. So women will still want to marry and want to pressure men to marry. It is just a question of if the men resist.

    [–]tMoohan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Very true, probably not the majority but quite a few girls do feel the same way.

    [–]emf41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Marry someone who had a higher net worth than you. Problem solved.

    [–]fakenate1 2 points3 points  (6 children)

    She is a joint partner in a man's life. That's what a marriage does. She gains 1/2 of all equity that gets built up from the time they got married to the day of the divorce.

    It's the rules on the field.

    Obviously this is part of what you agreed in the prenup, but the lengths you had to go to just to ensure half your life's work didn't get handed to a wife who cheated on you is absolutely insane.

    The way I read things is that op had already built up giant wealth before marriage. That would still be his after the divorce.

    [–]147_pothole_FTW 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Yes, at least in Canada, what you owned prior to marriage you continue to own. At least that's the simple version....basically you get to subtract from your "family" net worth the value of assets from before marriage.

    That doesn't protect you from having to sell or transfer some of those pre-marriage assets to cover money needed to equalize your family net worth. Ideally, it comes from assets you generate while married.

    Your also not protected from any income/growth value of any pre marriage assets.

    As an example, you buy 1,000 shares of Apple Inc in 1998 (approx $7/share, total value $7,000).

    You marry

    She leaves in 2012 when apple is running $700/share. Total value now = $700,000.

    You still own the original $7,000 in value. That means you need to split $693,000 with her even though it was a pre-marriage asset and she did nothing to earn that money.

    Prenups will NOT protect against this as its a right in law and you cannot contract away your legal rights.

    If you put that same $7k in a trust and signed a prenup, now she's screwed. See how a trust is a good idea.

    Very simple example but should get the point across.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]fakenate1 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      The courts wouldn't care that your assets are in crypto. They will still make you hand over 1/2 of the growth since the marriage.

      [–]RodGronaArSkit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Silly question. Can you just hide cash?

      [–]fakenate1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I mean, sure. You can dig a hole and bury cash. But your wife would probably know about that. See the bank statements when you sold the crypto. The courts would get suspicious when you don't have a job for five years but are still paying rent and buying food.

      [–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      tl;dr man gets divorce raped, hamsters away that he didn't.

      [–]4juice 134 points135 points  (45 children)

      Just so you know, she can party all she wants now but when the time comes where she will hit the wall, she will come back begging for you to take her back. That is where you frame will be tested my man.

      [–]liftpraylove[S] 176 points177 points  (43 children)

      My girlfriend is younger and more attractive then my ex-wife. She is also kinder. Would you prefer a nice crisp apple or a bruised old one?

      [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

      If you had the choice between a fresh soda pop, and one that had a bunch of dicks in it. Which would you choose? Tough choice

      [–]coolasice007 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Man haven't u learned yet theyre never yours...its just your turn

      [–]Five_Decades 16 points17 points  (7 children)

      She is also kinder.

      How do you know she isn't just pretending to be kinder? A lot of women (like your ex) pretend to be nice until they know you are stuck with them either due to having kids together or being married. Once that happens, their true personality comes out.

      Basically, if a guy has very high SMV (due to good looks or a ton of money/power/status) how do you determine if she actually is kind, or is just pretending to be kind until she sinks her hooks into you?

      Do you see how she acts around children, animals, waitstaff? How she treats her family and friends? Stuff like that will show you her true personality.

      [–]Five_Decades 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I think she already has hit the wall. He started dating her around 2002, and she was probably about 20 years old. So she'd be almost 40 now.

      There are women close to 40 who still party, but she is on borrowed time.

      [–]snowflake64 21 points22 points  (9 children)

      What is the relationship between money and happiness?

      [–]liftpraylove[S] 54 points55 points  (7 children)

      Exponential at the start then linear then it levels off.

      [–]Five_Decades 7 points8 points  (5 children)

      So when you first get rich, it feels great, then it just becomes normal? Sounds like the hedonistic treadmill, people adapt to good and bad things.

      Either way, you have some amazing business talents. Do you post business advice in other reddits?

      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

      You get a thousand dollars, and that's nice. Then you get ten thousand, and that's much nicer — you could now live, as a single man, on your own merit, if in poverty. Then you hit one hundred thousand, and you enter the middle class, and that's nice, but it's a no-man's-land: the cars here are much newer but not sportier (and on loans, most of them) and the women are significantly more expensive but not quite pretty or smart enough to be worth significant resources. Then you hit a million, and you're riding pretty high — now you can have a couple of nice sporty cars, a small plane, and a small-medium-sized boat, and get a woman with decent breeding... or pick up large tabs without concern and have all the strippers and bar tramps you can handle (if that's your thing). More than a million, and unless you feel like playing in the big kid sandbox with the real sharks, which most men don't, the extra for the most part just goes into bigger planes, bigger boats, and the stock market... which, the bigger better stuff is definitely nicer, but the difference between the entry-level small plane (or jet charters) and the Cirrus (or personal jet) is definitely in the territory of rapidly diminishing marginal returns: shinier electronics, a better paint job, nicer leather, a bit more head space, marketing whizz-bangs... — much less for much more.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]liftpraylove[S] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        If it floats, flies, or fucks it is always cheaper to rent.

        [–]Kisstafer1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It sucks that not everyone will get to experience what you have for themselves. I hope I do one day. I work my ass off.

        [–]brainhack3r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The problem is that no money means unhappiness and a lot of pain if you're not careful.

        [–]reiduh 52 points53 points  (11 children)

        I worked for a woman similar to your EX-wife (congrats!)…

        She divorce-raped her banker husband, keeping the San Juan Capistrano house, "earning" $8k/mo for each of three in child support, plus an additional $10k/mo alimony… just a fucking disaster to work for.

        I got the job after installing an outlet in her house (I'm an electrician) and she tried to seduce me… eventually I became her "right hand" man, fixing all her broken shit while coordinating her bar tabs… she would buy out the entire bar multiple times a week, tear off her clothes, and take some dumb boytoy home (after much cocaine bathroom visits).

        I'd DD her home then make sure her children were ready for school in the morning (so sad for them!).

        Ultimately I helped her middle child escape custody by reporting to her father some of her more-irresponsible child-endangerment actions (e.g. leaving massive quantities of drugs out while her children ate breakfast; allowing her older daughter to host ridiculous Orange County parties).

        Anywhoo, she's dead now, after stumbling around drunk/coked/high in Las Vegas — she found herself at the wrong end of a traffic collision.

        Good riddance. Some day I'll write a book about it.

        tl;dr: good for you, my bachelor father friend =P

        PS Take care of your girls' brains! The eldest of my disaster's offspring is now a stripper in Virginia (NO JOKE — she sent me a picture one time, all growed up!) — despite her father's attempts at $howering her with love.

        [–]Hjalmbere 8 points9 points  (5 children)

        Wow, that's quite a story. Would love to read about it.

        [–]reiduh 12 points13 points  (4 children)

        I was Ms. Matron's driver, chef, maintenance guy, and tutor/nanny to her children.

        Her husband was a well-known banker to the area's super-rich — his license plates returned "RESTRICTED INFO" when run under the police scanner, which usually meant police left us TF alone (b/c VIP status).

        Anywho, I remember one time while driving Ms and friends to barhop — I had to brake unexpectedly — sending their cocaine lines onto the floormats.

        Next thing I know, like ravenous kittens, there are three middle-aged Butts ass-up on the 5, clawing into the piles with already-bloody noses.

        An officer saw us — unrestrained passengers and all — and decided to pull us over. The first thing MS did was pull out her handpipe, torching the half-smoked bowl to "calm her nerves." JEBUS WTF WOMAN!!!

        By whatever grace of god (actually, CHP is pretty damn lenient), the officer realized I was sober and acting valet… so he just told me to take them bitches home. Car wreaked of marijuana and it was obvious there were drugs in the car… but a blacked-out escalade with fading princesses inside — isn't anything us middle-aged middle-class blokes ever want to become involved with.

        I swear during this entire interaction, all four of 'em were flirting with the officer (as they'd done their entire lives, beady eyes and all) in pathetic attempts of reconciliation.

        [–]Hjalmbere 6 points7 points  (3 children)

        I'm guessing that she was a druggie party chick before she met ex hubby, am I right? People rarely start a drug habit when they're middle aged.

        I don't know what's wrong with these supposedly smart banker dudes but they seem to fall hook line and sinker for gold diggers. I once went on a date with a woman who used to be married to an investment banker. Former bikini model turned coked out spazz. Cut the date short. She behaved so badly I literally got goose bumps.

        [–]reiduh 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        Pretty much — she began life as a trust-fund kiddo, daughter of an already-successful businessman who spoiled his princess rotten. And continued doing so until her [un]timely death (he gave her in addition to her alimony ~$2,000/month). She told me one time how she would stand at gas stations and buy gas for drug dealers [she apparently had an eye for it] on her daddy's credit card, so he wouldn't know his princess was purchasing drugs at the quickie mart for gas/BJs. A real class act… she told me this laughing while her oldest daughter was present.

        She still had the mustang "Daddy bought me when I turned 16" in her massive garage. Interestingly enough, she gave me ~600sqft in the same garage to grow her "medical" marijuana for her.

        Cocaine is a hell of a drug (honestly, one of few I've never tried because "one line is too much; two lines isn't enough" mentality of the average [ab]user).

        [–]Hjalmbere 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Speaking from my own experience as someone who tried coke(and a bunch of other stuff) I remember it gave me tremendous confidence. But I realized that real confidence is based on personal achievements. Not chemicals. Guess I don't have an addictive personality.

        You feel sorry for the kids turning into the people you'd warn your own kids about.

        I think your story would make a good movie. Sounds a bit like Bret Easton Ellis rewriting Sex and The City.

        [–]reiduh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I think your story would make a good movie.

        I appreciate the motivation to revisit these events of (almost) a decade ago. Unfortunately, many of the sub-plots wouldn't be appropriate for the big screen… as far as "marketability" I'm not sure there would even be an over-arching plot, other than don't be a piece of shit.

        It sure as shit would have tons of sex scenes and many the faux pas.

        [–]xeroshogun 23 points24 points  (2 children)

        Be honest, you banged her at least once

        [–]reiduh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Asking the important questions =P

        But hell no she was nasty vitriol. Fortunately, she quickly realized I enabled her to do absolutely nothing parental (allowing her instead to sit around doing drugs all day). So, for relatively little money [~1/12th of her monthly income] she was granted her wishes — I cooked dinner, helped the kids with homework, and had a free place to live.

        I did help more than a few misguided peers victims sneak out in the morning (sometimes middle of the night) after she had passed out from the cocainesies.

        Strange how the world works: I ultimately left that kush employment after Ms. Matron lost her fucking shit in cocaine-fueled rage over my having damaged a $300.00 bong (while cleaning up in a fury because her alimony lawyer was arriving to the estate).

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        The real lesson here is that behavior is genetic, and genes run in families, and a cheerleader really is not all that far above a stripper — the middle-class variety, if you will.

        Reproduce with the sort of woman you want your daughters to become... or have stripper-children at your peril.

        [–]RumLovingPirate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Until the "she's dead" part I was wondering if she was the one to offer me coke in the bathroom of the swallows in one night a few months ago while I was visiting.

        [–]michael_wilkins 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Finally a story that has a (relatively) happy ending.

        If true congratulations on your success.

        [–]TheSlicemanCometh 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        would childhood me look up to who I am now or want me as a dad?

        Exactly.

        It is your duty not only as a dad, but as a man of the community to be someone the young men will emulate as they become men.

        If youre fat cucked piece of shit, the young men around you will grow up to be the same and that spells disaster for the future of your culture.

        If youre a respectable dutiful hard working man of integrity, the young men around you will grow up to be that. And thats the future you want for your kin, whether you have children or not.

        [–]stompie5 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        Thank you for sharing. Why did you not go for divorce immediately, after learning she had an affair?

        [–]liftpraylove[S] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

        To prepare financially for a divorce and to establish that I was spending a lot of time with my girls so I was in the best position for custody.

        [–]stompie5 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        That is impressive, I doubt I could have held out like that. Thanks again for sharing such a personal story.

        [–]mechz21 34 points35 points  (20 children)

        You are worth 36 million?

        You should make some business posts.

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]everyone_wins 25 points26 points  (4 children)

          It was his investments that paid off. A lot of doctors don't use their money that wisely.

          [–]Five_Decades 11 points12 points  (10 children)

          Agreed. This guy knows what hes doing with money and I'd be interested to hear any advice he has.

          The fact that he was earning 7 figures as a surgeon alone is really impressive. Most surgeons earn low 6 figure salaries.

          [–]techemilio 1 point2 points  (7 children)

          Not specialists, my aunt makes 700k a year

          [–]Five_Decades 6 points7 points  (6 children)

          My understanding is that general practitioners and pediatricians make about 200k a year, while specialists make about 300-400k a year.

          Making 700k a year or 7 figures would mean you are earning double or triple what most specialists make.

          Orthopedist is the highest paying specialty, and only 10% earn over 540k a year.

          http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Orthopedic_Surgeon/Salary

          So the fact that OP was making 7 figures implies he was in the top 1% of physicians as far as salary.

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

          He said he moved to a place with a shortage of surgeons. So, he lived in a flyover state with a low cost of living, and he could demand a high salary because nobody wants to move there.

          [–]Five_Decades 2 points3 points  (3 children)

          I know someone who is a surgeon, he says the high demand places pay about 20-40% more, which works out to an extra 100k a year or so. However thats still a far cry from 7 figures. I have no idea how a physician can earn that much. I'm sure its possible, but I don't know how.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Windforce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Funnily enough, your username is very relevant here.

            [–]emf41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Agreed. I made a post and pointed out why he's full of shit. Only way you're getting close to a mil in a non management role is if you're an oncologist.

            PS. Ortho is a shit specialty to get into. It's a saturated field...in Canada anyway.

            [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Well he did mention it was in a state with a scarcity of doctors. Labor market value economics and all...

            [–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (35 children)

            It was shitty what I did, but I don't regret it.

            Maybe this is the Arab in me speaking, but, no, it wasn't. It was shitty what he did. Fuck someone's bitch, and then you get karma.

            [–]TenVipers 38 points39 points  (4 children)

            It was possible that the guy didn't know but if he did I say he deserved it.

            [–]BobLordOfTheCows 38 points39 points  (1 child)

            Yup, sluts lie about that shit.

            [–]spcarlin 21 points22 points  (0 children)

            ...the guy has his own wife and kids, even if he thought cheer leader was single he's still a dick

            [–]PanzerBatallion 19 points20 points  (6 children)

            This sub is great.

            Bang married/attached women? AWESOME BRAH.

            Dude bangs your wife?

            WHAT A DIRT BAG.

            [–]emf41 7 points8 points  (1 child)

            Don't forget:

            "ZOMG! AWALT! She cheated on me! Boohoo!"

            A few posts later:

            "Yea, I cheated on that bitch because she wouldn't suck my cock"

            Love the irony in here.

            [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            F'real

            Also the whole return to tradcon religious values and elevation of virgin females over at RoK. PUA site now exalting virginity. It's truly 2017.

            [–]2rp_valiant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            it's almost like there's a multitude of opinions here.

            [–]hullaballooza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yeah, because we totally think and act alike. /s You could have noticed that this is a topic that is regularly discussed here and at no time a definitive answer popped up, because both are valid in the realm of sexual strategy.

            [–]LOST_TALE 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            why focus on the guy, IT's the woman who lets it happen and it's her you're in a relationship with. Fighting the guy is white knighting and blame shifting. weak!

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            This. I'll never understand the anger at the other man when the woman is the one who cheated.

            [–]basebool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            It's always everyone's first instinct, even if you change that thought later on. If she cheats on you, it can be with anybody. This guy could have sex with anybody, but chooses your girl instead.

            [–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            The guy who is with my second wife blames me for losing three jobs. In reality, he is a fuck up and lost them himself, they didn't really care that he was fucking my wife. They cared that he was a useless piece of shit far more.

            [–]throwaway-aa2 5 points6 points  (2 children)

            Why be mad at him for the nature of a woman? He's just doing what he's supposed to do.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            And OP was just doing what he was supposed to do.

            [–]Mildsoss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Get mad and whine like a bitch? The dude did him a favor. Would probably still be married to the whore.

            [–]okkyle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            White guy co-signing this sentiment. I think the bitch was more to blame, but the other guy is no victim and deserves no sympathy. His actions destabilized OP's family and could have cost him dearly had he not been so well prepared.

            [–]juliusstreicher 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            You were generous to the POS. In alden times, he would have been stoned, or, you would have had a right to shoot the bastard.

            [–]ChadThundercockII 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Yeah, as a fellow Arab, I agree. Don't fuck with married people and expect to be safe

            [–]everyone_wins 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            I love Arabs for this reason. They know how to keep a bitch in check!

            [–]Nimitz87 6 points7 points  (1 child)

            yeah well when they are property and have little to no rights.

            [–]wheredalootat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            Well done on not getting raped on the divorce but man. You married a much younger woman, a cheerleader. One step up from a stripper.

            You knowingly married a young gold digger and then got her pregnant. You lost mayor money, lost frame and got fat. Are you really surprised she went looking for Chad?

            And why the fuck are you blaming him? He ain't the one who cheated. Having money doesn't mean you are great at life. Keep yourself in check, be in control of your life through the good and bad. Own your life

            [–]istoleitonaccident 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            here's the takeaway for men filing for divorce: 50/50 custody no child support is about the best you can hope for. get a lawyer.

            [–]3nebder 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Once you get past all the boohooing about your failed marriage (that was most likely your fault anyway), 50/50 custody is amazing. You get the best results of your marriage all to yourself half the time. The other half of the time you get to focus on yourself. I feel for the men who only get their children on the weekend and maybe an evening or so in the week. Paying support is harsh, but losing your kids is considerably worse than losing money.

            Get a lawyer and fight for 50/50. It is the best alternative to a complete family unit.

            [–]anon35202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Having two fathers and two mothers competing over your love can be the best thing ever. One teaches you the shrewdness and cut-throat world of winning deathmatches and earning respect through force, the other teaches you the socially optimal solution, how to be poor and find pleasure and joy with a mat and a guitar.

            Story reminds me of the writer from Rich dad poor dad: https://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teach-Middle/dp/1612680011

            [–][deleted]  (11 children)

            [deleted]

            [–]Luis_McLovin 19 points20 points  (7 children)

            Good luck finding a woman which will agree to having children under those pretenses.

            [–]Hassenboy 0 points1 point  (5 children)

            In the US perhaps, I don't know, but it is commonly practiced in at least some parts of Europe. I was born under such circumstances.

            [–]Luis_McLovin 0 points1 point  (4 children)

            Are your parents still unmarried and/or have separated?

            [–]Hassenboy 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            They married 15 years after I was born and had three additional children together. They are still happily married :)

            [–]Luis_McLovin 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            I'm happy for you and your family that it turned out well. Thank you for sharing.

            [–]Hassenboy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Thank you! Be aware though that there are several much more important factors contributing to their long lasting partnership such as

            • father earning twice as much as mother
            • all my grandparents are still married (they celebrated 50 and 60 years of marriage this year)
            • Attraction: both are very intelligent and quite good looking
            • They were young when they first met (like 20)

            For some reason my home country (Sweden) has much lower divorce rate than USA. (Or rather: USA has a ridiculously high divorce rate)

            [–]Luis_McLovin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yes luckily mine are married twenty five plus years as well and all those other boxes also ticked, except that they're both out of shape. I'm prodding them to improve their relationship.

            They married before having children. From Brazil.

            [–]KINGahRoo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Just caution on the celebration or cohabitation (states w. common law marriage) but otherwise not the worst idea. I'm still holding out for another decade I think surrogates will become cheaper and genetics will improve leading to better children with less overall complications. No need for marriage at all

            [–]LawBot2016 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            The parent mentioned Common Law Marriage. Many people, including non-native speakers, may be unfamiliar with this word. Here is the definition:(In beta, be kind)


            Common-law marriage, also known as sui iuris (sui juris) marriage, informal marriage, marriage by habit and repute, or marriage in fact is a legal framework in a limited number of jurisdictions where a couple is legally considered married, without that couple having formally registered their relation as a civil or religious marriage. The original concept of a "common-law marriage" is a marriage that is considered valid by both partners, but has not been formally recorded with a state or religious registry, or celebrated in a formal religious ... [View More]


            See also: Cuneo V. De Cuneo | Cohabitation | Celebration | Caution | Per Verba De Praesenti

            Note: The parent poster (KINGahRoo or liftpraylove) can delete this post | FAQ

            [–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Didn't even think this was an option. common law marriage is the final bitch

            [–]haasteagle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Played the Divorce long game very well sir.

            [–]Algernoq 17 points18 points  (13 children)

            $360 million net worth? $1mil/yr surgeon? Damn dude.

            For verifying your bona fides:

            what type of gangrene is the worst?

            C- corp or S-corp is better?

            what are your macros?

            Good on you, man. My mistake picking a $100k/yr profession. Time to change.

            [–]liftpraylove[S] 32 points33 points  (9 children)

            I'm not event close to $360 million net worth, though I did make more than $1mil/yr as a surgeon.

            For me the worst would definitely be Fournier’s gangrene.

            My franchise business is a c corp, it is difficult to put a s corp in a trust. My private practice was a s corp and not in a trust.

            I do not know my macros. I try to eat healthy. My mantra is no bread, pasta, sugary sweets, or sugary drinks. Essentially the atkins diet. I'm late 50's so I only lift 3x per week. Not looking to be model just in better shape than 95% men my age. I think that is good enough.

            [–]ecocrat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I'm 21 yo and hope to be in the position you are, financially, at your age. Good job my man you did it right.

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]Method007 8 points9 points  (3 children)

              Yea, you can tell because he said s corp!

              [–]Frdl 6 points7 points  (2 children)

              Ya seriously. This place has become literally retarded.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

                [–]Frdl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                The whole story is clearly a bullshit revenge fantasy.

                [–]chadbyron 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                Have you considered posting anything on how you got started with your business investments? It seems like you've done very well and I'd love to hear how you learned to be an entrepreneur

                [–]onegirltwoballs 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                Damn none of y'all can do math lol. He's got around $44 million.

                [–]4juice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Welcome to the internet man. OP can say any thing he wants, him being wealthy means shit to this post. The point on how to avoid divorce rape was laid on here as the title suggest, i think that's all that matters.

                [–]omargrunt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Thank you for your story. Very profound and thought provoking. Every few sentences I would stop and contemplate what I read. 10/10

                [–]FutureMuscleDoctor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                Thank you for this post. I am applying to medical school, and I fear the worst for what will happen in the future. Also, I don't think what you did about the lover was wrong, as his actions can justify such retaliation.

                [–]recon_johnny 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                This doesn't read like an older man with high amounts of education, worldly experience, and the significant income required for this tale would actually write.

                [–]emf41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                As someone who is married to a doctor, I call bullshit on your post. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

                • Why would you give up a well paying job just to run your business? Once you are a doctor, nobody can take that away from you. Your "story" reminds me of a guy who bragged that he worked as a fireman in Edmonton and gave it up ($100k/year + OT, shift diff, and pension) to push mutual funds for a shoddy investment company (think Primerica).

                • The only way in hell you're making well into a mil as a gen surgeon (assuming here because you don't state what speciality you're in) is if you're a department head, or you're madly efficient in the OR and work a mad call schedule...for example, trauma surgeons are on call 120+ nights a year or 1 in 3.

                • Even if you work mad call schedule, how the fuck do you have the time to run the business or even remotely pay attention to it? Surgeons, not counting call typically work 12 hour days.

                • "I was worried I'd get sued. Doctors get sued a lot" -- You do know theres a thing called professional liability insurance right? That's there in case someone sues you and wins.

                There's way more I can write but I'm on mobile and can't be bothered. Anyway, something I've learned is that if it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true. This story fits that.

                [–]throw17453 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                The way you handled this was admirable. A lot of foresight - anticipatory planning, so when the trigger was finally pulled on divorce, you had the direction of it mapped out.

                I get a strong sense from your post that you are deliberative, thoughtful with money. You are very aware of what you have at any one time, keep track accurately, are conscious of "what if's" and work to mitigate that. Your creating another source of income - outside surgery - due to the concern of lawsuits being a good example.

                Where does your understanding of all this come from?

                What sources of inspiration, good advice, direction and knowledge, for business and money management etc, have been the most influential in your life?

                [–]liftpraylove[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                My dad was the shrewdest man I have ever met. I never had a warm relationship with him, but I respect him immensely. He weighed the pros and cons of every decision while planning contingencies and I suppose that passed on to me. I had seen to many colleagues lose money in lawsuits and divorces so that impacted me as well.

                [–]throw17453 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Those are character traits im going to have to develop. I'm young and tend to be very impulsive - and whilst intelligence and adaptability can offset the fallout from that, it has still gotten me into trouble.

                Your story, how you outlined your thought process, and the steps you took - really emphasized how important being deliberative, planning for multiple outcomes and mitigating risk are.

                Thanks for sharing, been very useful.

                [–]el_Technico 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                So you called up the guys company and said he is an adulterer and that was grounds to fire him?

                [–]titsmegeee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Just wanted to say this post was truly motivating.

                Aspirational stuff.

                [–]SmilingWatermelon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Good shit. You actually saved yourself a lot of money and despite how emotional you got, you kept it real and focused on damage mitigation. You may have made a lot of "beta" moves but I think you're alpha overall.

                I hope you don't get remarried. All that doesn't seem to be worth it but it's your call.

                Cheers

                [–]Chippa74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                You're a millionaire surgeon that writes like a 10 year old? Okay.

                [–]randarrow 5 points6 points  (4 children)

                Why the repost karma farmer?

                [–]ChadThundercockII 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                He needs more because of the divorce

                [–]slumdog-millionaire 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                how do you know this is a repost?

                [–]randarrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Because I remember their post, and if you look through their post history you'll see it was their first post two weeks ago.

                [–]slumdog-millionaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Sounds like she got 1.8 mil too much to me but I guess it couldn't be helped

                [–]yomo86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Besides the obvious fact, that you are able to afford legal battles, you lucked out that she is a whore and was not able to turn your kids against you plus you have a job hold in very high regards by society - might be different if you are a construction worker. If she played her cards right you would be done. Kudos to the amicable divorce result but this is an exception. Take it from a lawyer, you do not want to enter the battlefield of divorce court.

                [–]everyone_wins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                You're an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your story.

                [–]VickVaseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I get the sense that you are genuine, and your post is encouraging.

                I'm not a lawyer, but trusts were covered here in great detail a couple of months ago by a lawyer:

                http://archive.is/pWzgY

                His message seemed to be the exact opposite of yours. Now I am left confused, but still somewhat hopeful.

                [–]Coach-Red-Pill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I've read this post before—it's not new.

                [–]HitchensTwoPointOh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Great post, props to the legal decimation of the other guy and the poise and grace in handling your situation with your kids in mind. I guess my only question is if you're hiring for your company!

                [–]africanjollof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Awesome and quite comprehensive post. Thanks for this.

                Can you talk more about spending time with your daughters?

                [–]Five_Decades 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                here is my takeaway

                You realized it was over in 2009, but because of the legal system you had to wait 6 years to get a divorce to set things up.

                Still a shitty situation.

                [–]anon35202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                The one thing Money can't buy is love, Money attracts immediate attention but repels love.

                That's why a lot of rich people pretend to be poor. When people know you're rich, they act weird around you. It's like wtf just be normal.

                [–]trpnewguy666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Why bother with all this shit just to sign a bad contract with a mood and branch swinging bitch?

                Good job on accumulating that wealth and taking care of your kids, but, my god, why would anyone marry today?

                That is, unless you have THE UNICORN(tm), feel wise enough to know you're not a delusional beta about it and at the same time still want to take a gamble.

                [–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (4 children)

                I anticipate having to pay my wife in the future though to stay until my girls are 18 because she has almost already gone through the settlement from what I have heard.

                what does ''going through the settlement mean''? wtf was it temporary?

                [–]3nebder 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                She spent the divorce money and there's nothing coming in to replace it. Solution: pay her off with a stipend in exchange for his kids. Rational solution and money well spent.

                [–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                lol why would he want that meat sack around? Children already beyond age of 5.

                confused because he said ''having to'' having to fuck you having to nothing!

                [–]3nebder 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                The missing word in OP's sentence is "away" as in "stay away".

                Meat sack spent most of her divorce money according to rumor. Meat sack will likely take money in exchange for staying away from the kids. OP's money spent to keep meat sack away is money well spent.

                [–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                damn these women are so privileged.

                [–]Rawesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                TL;DR- Don't marry a gold digging NBA cheerleader

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                [–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                No, those are not enforceable.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                [–]emf41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                It's not fun. My cousins bf is a peadiatric ENT surgeon. 12 hour days are common and the call sucks...especially for him because there's only so many to go around.

                [–]casemodsalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I don't have to worry... no girl wants to marry a guy who barely breaks 4 figures after working over 100 hours.

                [–]DatingCoach111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Setting a great example....Red Pill style. Saving this post.

                [–]arctander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                You have a 60m net worth? Wow.

                1.8m / .03 = 60m.

                [–]fromthecrypt8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Mad respect to your sensible planning and, clearly justified, paranoia.

                [–]Renzo2121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                OP this is great! I'm 23 and have 2 businesses doing well. Will consider separating my assets soon as you mentioned in the first paragraph. Also, took notes on the prenup and having it video taped when I decide to get marry. Glad everything worked out !

                [–]Viking_RnP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Smart man. You earned your outcome and didn't victimize yourself. God bless you and your daughters. Your ex wife too.

                [–]stoicsoul87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Congratulations on your mental fortitude! And it's awesome that you kept most of your assets.

                But the fact that a woman who was making 30k a year now has almost 2 million cash in the best case scenario for the man is just indicative of what a menace divorce rape is. Most men would have to toil night and day to have that amount of cash.

                [–]Hyper_Sonik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                FSA's, Mutual funds,Precious metals, etc. I just don't want to have my feet kicked out from underneath me by her claiming child support.

                [–]Mildsoss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Is the red pill dying? Tldr: dont get married.

                [–]pateuvasiliu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Good for you dude but the fact that that cheating hoe got 1.8 million dollars you worked hard for just because she gave birth and took care of kids ( while also cheating ) makes me upset to no end.

                Some work a lifetime for that money and she just leeched.

                [–]Xoramung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Care to give me 1mil? I would set my self up and not get married.

                [–]CaleebTalib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                That woman deserves to burn in a hell that I don't even believe in

                [–]tekn0_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I wanted to thank you for sharing all your tips and experience. It will help many young folks who become rich and can plan for their future security. Spending all that mortgage money was a genius move. I might do that on the house I own in the future.

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