827
828

Red Pill TheoryYou sound boring - Speak with emotion and confidence (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by LordOfTheReptiles

Intro:

I responded to an AskTRP post a few days ago where someone asked “what makes girls chase you?”. OP claimed to be boring, as a conversationalist, and also claimed to be a nice guy. I don’t doubt that he is a very boring, very nice guy. I wanted to flesh out my reply a bit more in its own post, as I’ve been reading TRP for awhile and have yet to contribute to the main sub. I want to preface this with some housekeeping as to who this is for and why I do it, so feel free to skip to the “How I open” if you want to get to the bulk of it.

I tend to have women get emotionally invested in me very quickly – in a good way. I should stress that this is absolutely not a guide on manipulating people and pulling strings to get people to do what you want. It is a way of interacting that gets people invested in you because you are someone they want to be around. You are opinionated, you feel strongly about things, you dislike certain things, you hate certain things, you do not accept all beliefs as valid, and you are someone that is able to articulate yourself in thoughtful ways that make other people want to hear more. This is one style among a variety of viable ways to speak and interact with people.

Lifting helps, obviously, but there are multiple layers to attraction and the emotional almost always outweighs the physical (assuming you are a man talking to a woman). Lifting will ease the initial interaction and open up women being receptive to you that may not have been in the past – I can speak first hand to this. Lifting is not going to make a boring guy more interesting, but combined with speaking emotionally it will create a man that women will chase.

A lot of guys on here complain about “women are so boring, I have nothing in common with any of them”. It is true, there are boring women out there. It is also entirely possible that YOU are boring.

Who this is not for:

  • Men who want to primarily have sex through one-night stands
  • Men who want to take the “idgaf because nothing affects me” approach
  • Men who pursue platonic relationships with women

This is not a recipe for one-night stands, as that isn’t really my thing at this point in my life. For me, I prefer sex after a couple nights of hanging out. When we fuck, it is always better sex than fucking a girl the same night I met her. Nothing against guys who prefer one night stands, as I have friends who like that and are good at it. I just prefer emotionally fueled flings that usually end in heartbreak.

This is also not for “funny guys”. Humor is very important, but I wanted to specifically address the purpose of it in my style of game. I generally avoid being the goofy comedian type because you just end up becoming a jester that no one wants to fuck. You’re not there to entertain them with stupid knock knock or dad jokes - you want to make them laugh with emotion behind it. Dry sarcasm and dark humor goes a long way.

Anyway, housekeeping is done so on to the meat of it. This is going to follow a rough outline of what my night would be like at a bar with a medium amount of people. I tend to avoid clubs because they are more geared toward one night stands and banging club girls because you’re the biggest guy in the room. For those interested in that, you probably won’t get much out of this. I will use examples from a recent interaction I had with a girl.

How I open:

This can change, but I don’t really think about it too much. If I’m with a wingman, which I generally recommend, I’ll pull him over and say to the woman/group, “Have you met {friend}?”. They’ll say “no, who is he?” - he steps in and introduces himself, and we’re all talking. That’s it. Some others that work, because it really doesn’t matter:

  • “Hey, I’m {name}. Should I be talking to you?” - Qualifying question.
  • “I wanted to say hi before I leave.” - I’m not sticking around (relocate her later).
  • “Who the fuck are you?” - May have mixed results.

Just say something. Do not overthink this. I’d avoid going with too much of a comical tone because of reasons I mentioned earlier. If you are confident it will make her laugh, go for it, but if she sees you as a funny guy that she doesn’t take seriously it can be hard to come back from that.

Generic Responses:

Alright, you said something and you’re talking. The first few minutes are general “where are you from, what do you do, blah blah i don't care” to get the wheels moving. Move through this quickly, as you don’t want the conversation to linger on questions that make it feel like an interview. Once formalities are out of the way, ask her something that you can actually weigh in on. Here would be an example.

Me - “Have you done anything fun in the city recently?”

Her - “OMG I just went to a country music concert. It was amazing. Do you like country music?”

Here is where most guys fuck up. They agree, immediately, even if they don’t like country music. Most men will say something along the lines of:

“Totally. Country music is great. We should go to a concert together sometime!”

Well done man, you just became her best platonic guy friend. There are multiple things wrong with a response like this (again, assuming you don’t actually like what she’s talking about - in this case I hate country music). First, you’re agreeing just to agree and you risk being called out on it if she asks who your favorite musicians are. You think she’ll like that you have something in common. Almost every single guy she’s told this story to has said something identical to this shit response. Here’s your second problem - she doesn't know you. She doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t want to go to a concert with you because she just met you. Now you’re encroaching on being creepy because you haven’t built any comfort with her to suggest hanging out. Even if she agrees, she’s generally just being nice under the assumption that she’ll never see you again, or if she does it will be just as friends.

Giving negative pushback:

My response would be something like this:

“Concerts are a lot of fun, but honestly I think country music is terrible. It all sounds the same, the lyrics are lazy, and I don’t really care that some hillbilly likes to drive a truck and beat up his wife.” I used this response a few days ago. I pushed back on the things she liked that I didn’t like. I let her know that while it is cool she pursues stuff she likes, and we have something in common with enjoying concerts, I still dislike that type of music and can explain why.

If you are going to state that you dislike something that she likes, you want to give clear reasons why (country music all sounds the same) while sometimes sprinkling in a joke (singing about beating up his wife). You also do not want her to feel dumb for liking whatever it is you are talking about. Do not say something like, “haha you must have terrible taste in music” because you just end up sounding like an elitist douche. Explain why you don’t like it and move on to something you do like. It is important to reiterate this again - I am not advocating that you put people down for the things they like. You are simply letting her know that you think country music is terrible, not that you think she is terrible for liking it.

Exercise:

Try to think of 3 common things you hear girls talking about that you know you dislike. Examples could be shows on Bravo, stupid diets, whatever. Write down that you dislike them. Now, for each one, write 3-5 lines on why you dislike them. Make sure you are very clear in your reasons, and try to format it in a short, easy to reiterate paragraph that you can say out loud with confidence.

Example:

“I can’t stand the real housewives shows. Andy as a host is a boring and generic gay man that middle aged women think they’d love to be friends with. The women on the show are just a bunch of harpies squawking at each other over petty stuff, but I get that for some people it is trashy TV that takes their mind off of work.”

You understand why some people like the show, but you have no issue explaining why you don’t. Once you get used to talking this way, women will experience a variety of emotions while speaking to you. You will run the gambit of positive and negative emotions. A lot of guys are under the assumption that you need to always find things in common, only speak positively, and agree with everything she is saying. At the end of the article I will go into further detail about why this is a mistake.

Expressing interests:

Let's take another example: you have a hobby you feel strongly about. I’m not talking about watching football, because almost every fucking guy she’s talked to since the age of 14 watches football. This is where a lot of guys get lost.

I like art. I have a few pieces I’ve collected over the years, and I try to hit art museums every time I’m in a new city. There are a few ways I can present this to a woman I’m talking to when she asks what I like to do.

Examples:

  • “I like art.”
  • “I go to art museums and shows. Not everyone gets art the way I do, it's really an acquired taste.”
  • “I’m really into art actually. I don’t always understand what I’m looking at, but I don’t care. Have you heard of the Barnes Museum in Philly? It's really interesting. This doctor, who retired pretty early because of a patent he came up with, started collecting art by sending his assistant over to Europe to buy what was popular at the time. The assistant ended up coming back with pieces from Van Gogh and Renoir, who have pretty similar styles. Anyway, the doctor becomes obsessed with collecting art and builds his entire house around his ridiculous art collection. Before he died, he put it in his will that the only way the art could be moved was if it was kept the way he organized it. So the city of Philly acquired the collection, and they rebuilt his entire house inside the new building downtown. They brought over everything, including the original wallpaper, door handles, along with all the paintings. So you’re literally walking through this guys house seeing how he laid everything out in specific ways. Pretty sure he was a lunatic and a genius at the same time.”

Which one shows that you have more depth than a ferret? Which one demonstrates that you don’t just have a hobby, but that you actually give a shit about it? Which one shows that you’re an opinionated person who expresses himself clearly and thoughtfully because you put effort into the things you do? Again, almost every single guy will respond with either #1 or #2 - one makes them sound boring, and the other makes them sound like a douche trying to impress someone.

I use this example because it is something I am actually passionate about. I don’t have to be talking to someone else who is also into art in order for this story to make an impact. Almost every single time I tell this story, the person I’m talking to says it sounds awesome and they really want to see it next time they’re in Philly. They like that I actually know the history behind it, and can speak to it beyond “yeah the paintings are pretty dope I guess”. If they are also into art, this builds comfort and interest very quickly because it is showing that I value something they do.

Again, I am by no means an art critique. I do not understand art technique, nor do I paint. I don’t critique classic art and talk about the trope of the modern artist. I just like looking at it, I know why, and I can articulate that.

Exercise:

Write down three things you really like doing, watching, listening to, visiting, whatever. Skip sports and video games for now. Once you have your short list, try to flesh out why you like it, and include something you know about it that other people don’t. Extend “I like sculptures” into a 4-5 sentence paragraph about why you like it. This may sound trivial, but this is what separates you from guys who carry on boring conversations.

Once you learn to articulate yourself this way, it will build emotional connections with women almost subconsciously. She is feeling emotions while talking to you because you speak with emotion. Now, before everyone jumps down my throat with “lol beta bux” or some dumb shit, I want to stress that I am not advocating being overly emotional. This is not a call to get upset over little things, to become overly invested in what she thinks about you, or to be an emotional tampon for her. You are simply showing that you feel a certain way about different things, which is not the same as caring what other people think about those feelings. You know what you like and don’t care how other people feel about it, but at the same time you are demonstrating your depth as a person. This is what will draw people to you and help you showcase a persona of someone who knows what they like and doesn’t have a problem expressing it. That is the bullseye.

Moving past conversing:

At some point in the conversation she is going to think about kissing you, as will you. Personally, I bring attention to it. I throw it out in the open so we are both aware of it, while holding off to build tension. A simple line could be, “I know you want to kiss me right now, but I’m not going to”. She may say, “no I don’t” which you can laugh off. She may say “Yeah, I do”. That’s your greenlight, but more often than not I’ll still hold off for a bit. I like the tension, and it builds up to a bigger deal, especially for her, when it finally happens. Sex will and should come up at some point, but I don’t actually talk about it much the night I meet her. Instead, I’ll make sexually infused comments about her that are not directly stating that I want to sleep with her. Some examples from my recent night out:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her - “I do a lot of yoga.”

Me - “I was looking at your ass earlier and figured you did.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her - “My ex boyfriend thought that oral sex was gay” (yes, a girl said this to me)

Me - “I’d do gay stuff to you all day”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her - “I like the show True Blood”

Me - “That show has the best sex scenes”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, don’t overthink this too much. Talk about it casually, confidentiality, and without being an overbearing fuckboy. Saying “damn girl you so hot” is lazy, boring, and something she has heard a thousand times. “We should fuck” is probably going to make her uncomfortable and less attracted to you. “Do you want to have sex” - I shouldn’t have to explain why this is bad.

In general, you don’t actually have to talk about sex that much to create sexual tension. With many women, the fact that you aren’t talking about it actually adds to the tension and mystery (assuming you are still keeping the conversation emotionally resonating). Typically, by the middle of the second date it is very obvious she is ready and wants to. I’ve had multiple women bring it up themselves by this point. I should point out that I don’t recommend putting sex out there the way that I put kissing out there - they are not the same thing and should be handled differently.

When it comes to the sex itself, I highly recommend reading “The Sex God Method” if you have not already. If you have, you’ll notice similarities to his book and my approach to talking to women. Mainly, you want women to experience both negative and positive emotions when interacting with you. I do not mean negative in a “bad” way, but more that she should not be able to win you over easily. This makes the things you have in common and agree on have more weight than they normally would. This mix of positive and negative emotions should carry over to the sex and the way you speak to her during it, and as mentioned before there’s already a great book that covers this in depth.

Summary:

So why does this approach to speaking to women work? It is pretty simple, really. You are a guy who makes her feel things. Nice guys are convinced that women actually love assholes who treat them like shit. The reality is that they like guys who make them feel a range of emotions. That guy she keeps coming back to, who called her a bitch (don’t do that), has also made her feel sexy and free at other times. She chases that feeling through the horrible experiences to try to get it back. You can circumvent being a douchebag by simply demonstrating that you are someone who disagrees with her at times and also respects who she is. You are someone who challenges her, helps her grow, and also shares some things in common already. You aren’t easy, but you are worth getting to know. Once she knows that you don’t agree with her just to try to sleep with her, she will quite literally chase the feeling of winning you over.

Earlier, I wrote that “A lot of guys are under the assumption that you need to always find things in common, only speak positively, and agree with everything she is saying.” The reason this is wrong is that it is not an honest lifestyle, because there is virtually no one on the planet that is going to align with you and your values completely. Many men are under the assumption that if you’re just a nice guy and support everything a woman does (think Jim from The Office), that you will eventually land your dream girl. The thing is, this approach can actually get you into a relationship. It will probably lead to her telling her friends about what a great guy you are, how perfect your relationship is, and that you’ll get married and have kids. Maybe you get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. If that’s what you want, then by all means go for it. I don’t believe it is an emotionally gratifying life. I would much rather be the guy she had a passionate fling with for a few months and still thinks about from time to time when she’s with her husband. I'll think about her as well. To each his own.

-Edited for clarity


[–]DayGameChirality 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Hey man, I really appreciate your post. It's great to see a post with game where you're treating women like human beings. Well explained, congruent and resonates with me.

Looking forward to see more of you. Added to RES-friends!

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I'm glad my post was helpful. I was hoping it would resonate with some of the guys who seem to be frustrated with dating and expressing themselves, which often leads to a hatred of women. I have been there, believe me. After time, and I think some of the older guys here may agree, you learn to accept the differences between the sexes and can start to really enjoy the experiences you have with them.

[–]gbdoragnic 50 points51 points  (5 children)

I tend to over think things, does this really work?
> Her - “I do a lot of yoga.”

>Me - “I was looking at your ass earlier and figured you did.”

>Her - “My ex boyfriend thought that oral sex was gay” (yes, a girl said this to me)

Like did the conversation go exactly like that, I had a similar conversation and I was able to close, but I never thought of saying, "I would do gay stuff to you"

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I'll edit this for clarity. Each of these Me/Her were separate occasions, not one continuous conversation. And yes, it works. Saying something like "I'd do gay stuff to you" as a reply gives you the ability to deflect it as a joke if she doesn't take it well, but most of the time you'd get a response like "haha is that right?"

[–]falecf4 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That response made me laugh for a while. Keeping that one in my pocket.

[–]xddm2653 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I laughed when I read it. I think you said it wrong too, it's "I would do gay stuff to you all night". Comedic timing required

[–]I_do_it4sloots -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Honestly I believe you'd get labeled as creep in most cases but like always it depends on the context you use it and way to deliver if u r not aspie

[–]WhoSweg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously this is a month late but only ugly dudes are creeps.

[–]kalashnick 28 points29 points  (11 children)

Now remember boys when spinnin' plates...ROM. Range of (E)Motion.

Well-written.

One thing I might add. Thanks to television or whatnot, most dudes speak in this nasally, Californian - Surf bro - Jeff Spicoli-kind of monotone voice. The whole vocal-fry thing that was popular in high school.

When I was first exposed to it in the mid-2000s, I thought it sounded awfully-retarded. But according to a study, women find it attractive:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/7603548/Men-with-monotonous-voices-are-irresistible-scientists-say.html

Needless to say, we've probably all adopted this "cool" accent to some degree, but regardless of what the article says, I believe having rising and falling intonations in your speech truly make for a man people want to listen to.

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Thank you for adding this, I agree completely. So many guys focus on what they should say and seem to overlook how they are saying it. This is a big reason people still cling to canned one liners and "magic bullet" routines. I was trying to write a bit of an antidote to this, because a lot of guys have more to say than they realize. They just need help fleshing out their ideas in actually interesting ways.

I remember reading that you should speak from your chest, but I can't speak too much to that. What works for me is a sort of dry tone when being sarcastic, along with higher intonations to stress the more visual language when I'm talking about something I am very opinionated about. Highlighting certain words helps to give body to your speech. Honestly, perfecting your voice when you talk is probably worthy of its own post and I can't say that I am qualified to do so. I just know that when I put more effort into the way I express myself, my voice tends to adapt to it naturally.

[–]kalashnick 6 points7 points  (3 children)

"What works for me is a sort of dry tone when being sarcastic, along with higher intonations to stress the more visual language when I'm talking about something I am very opinionated about. Highlighting certain words helps to give body to your speech."

Reminds me exactly of Patrick Bateman.

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'd say that is a pretty good example. His voice is a bit high pitched, he bobs his head too much, and his eyebrows are way too cartoonish in the way he moves them. In regards to how he speaks though, he accentuates things pretty damn well.

[–]DowntownCaterpillar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is some funny shit. Although Patrick Bateman did express his opinions very clearly which is what this article is about.

[–]Emmenthalreddit 6 points7 points  (3 children)

As a redpilled woman i hate this voice. Makes you sound dumb, young, and like a follower. I guess it depends on the type of girl you want to attract. Talk in your real voice it's way more attractive and says you're confident with yourself. (Plz don't hate. I like this sub because all the others are liberal women i can't stand, and i enjoy it because i agree with everything here).

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The female vocal-fry is also quite obnoxious.

[–]Nr367 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And as a red pill woman you should know that your individual opinion doesn't account for the entire spectrum of attraction. It's just that your individual opinion.

[–]Nr367 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And as a red pill woman you should know that your individual opinion doesn't account for the entire spectrum of attraction. It's just that your individual opinion.

[–]1dongpal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Nice. Are there other things like that?

[–]doorterblack 73 points74 points  (18 children)

If this doesn’t get you endorsed I’ll be angry

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 64 points65 points  (17 children)

I appreciate that. If people like what I'm writing, I would certainly contribute more often. The sub has taught me a lot, even if I don't agree with it all completely.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 7 points8 points  (12 children)

What dont u agree about? Btw nice post. Be knowledgeable and think thru your responses. Dont be agreeable for the sake of pussy

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 66 points67 points  (11 children)

In regards to what I don't agree with, it depends. The words "alpha" and "beta" get thrown around way too liberally. Someone says something you don't like? They're beta. Someone does something you agree with? They're alpha. Someone shows emotion? They're a cuck. The words become so diluted that they don't mean anything anymore. So many of the comments are just shitposting one-uppers trying to beat their chest on the internet.

I have a hard time agreeing with some of the AWALT statements. Sure, there are plenty of awful women out there. There are also plenty of awful men. Part of the reason I wrote this is to help mediocre guys, who are frustrated with their experiences in dating, start to meet higher caliber women that are worth getting to know. Some of them will end up hurting you, some will break your heart, and some will share amazing sexual and emotional experiences with you that are worth taking that risk over.

[–]Nocryingok 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think that what people call alpha here is really just high value, and beta = low value.

Ex.: woman gets late for date, HVM(high value man) goes somewhere else to have a drink, LVM waits with his tail between his legs. It's not a matter of leadership or how dominant you are... you just have better things to do.

And yes, women DO like leadership and dominance, but that's not even in play in most situations, especially in text game or getting to know each other, unless it's for making decisions like "where are we going tonight?"

Ex.: HVM would invite her to something special (his favourite local band's concert, to a walk in a cool park, to drink wine in a secret view. LVM would invite her for dinner or the movies.

Alpha vs beta would be about HOW you say it. Alpha: I'm going to take a walk in the park and drink coconut water. Come with me! It'll be fun. Beta : hey, are you free tonight? Do you want to go out? Do you want to go to the park with me? Do you like coconut water too? haha

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is pretty much spot on. I think these examples were the original intentions for the words, but they've been bastardized a bit. You see it more in AskTRP, where guys will say things like "Is this alpha?" or "What's the alpha response here?". There seems to be this notion that there exists this perfect alpha male out there that we should all idolize, who does everything right and speaks the word of God while banging 6 chicks every night after he just benched 400 pounds. Truth is, there are scrawny musicians who fuck good looking women all the time even though they're physically weak, don't make a lot of money, and only really have one hobby. Technically, they're alpha in their world. It's all subjective.

[–]SpecialSpnk 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I appreciate your responses and enjoyed reading some of your techniques. However I disagree with the sentiment that a first date close cannot be an extremely emotional and sexual experience. This was shown to me this Sunday in a way I will never forget.

Took a girl I had met the day before on a tubing

[–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The situation you are describing is probably fairly similar to what I am talking about. To be more specific, I generally don't try to sleep with women the same night I meet them, but will on the first or second "date". I don't go out with the intention of bringing someone home is all, and I think some people describe this as "outcome independence"? I'm not sure what the term is. If the chemistry is there and you both want to - then great, by all means. I just typically do not push for sex the same night I meet them.

Took a girl I had met the day before on a tubing

So it sounds like you met her, set up a date the next day, and she had a bunch of time in between to think about you. You took her to do something interesting, she was into it, and you guys had great sex afterwards. This is exactly the kind of date I would shoot for.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I get what you're going for here, but I think that is a really hard metric to measure. A girl that is worth dating for me might not be a girl that is worth dating for you. There are a multitude of factors that go into something like this.

    For example, I live in Boston. The male to female ratio here is skewed in my favor. On top of that, the types of things that women pursue are often very different than the types of things that men pursue. In Boston, the vast majority of men can be put into one of two categories: baseball cap wearing "sports guys" who have nothing to talk about besides the Red Sox and Patriots, or uptight hipsters who weigh less than the women they want to date and have twice the emotional baggage.

    Point is, it depends on where you live and what you want. There are far more women than men where I live, and the men offer very little competition simply because they have no emotional range to them (sports guy), or are constantly upset about something and dress like a high schooler (hipsters). That makes it very, very easy to date quality women where I live. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard women here say that they've given up on dating, generally followed up later with "I've never met someone like you before". It is pretty easy when you put in some effort.

    [–]SpecialSpnk 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Trip out. Everyone I talked to who knew her said no way was she going to close, strong Christian Yada Yada. Even had a friend tell me he was talking to her a couple weeks ago and she ended it because he was to opinionated. Funny because I am extremely opinionated and she told me multiple times during the date that I love to debate and everything is an argument....

    Anyway we went out after dinner to grab ice cream. I'm establishing heavy kino b4 making out and next thing you know she is in my bed going absolutely wild with lust. It was a liberating experience for her and I. Multi orgasmic squirter...

    my point is strike when the iron is hot is ALWAYS the best time. If that is the first date damn well F CLOSE

    [–]SuperCrazy07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I liked the OP...but this comment is gold.

    [–]lifeisweirdasfuck 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    Great post, but just one question.

    This goes a little against the concept of being "mysterious" which is really spread here, shouldn't the girl talk 70% more than you?

    “I’m really into art actually. I don’t always understand what I’m looking at, but I don’t care. Have you heard of the Barnes Museum in Philly? It's really interesting. This doctor, who retired pretty early because of a patent he came up with, started collecting art by sending his assistant over to Europe to buy what was popular at the time. The assistant ended up coming back with pieces from Van Gogh and Renoir, who have pretty similar styles. Anyway, the doctor becomes obsessed with collecting art and builds his entire house around his ridiculous art collection. Before he died, he put it in his will that the only way the art could be moved was if it was kept the way he organized it. So the city of Philly acquired the collection, and they rebuilt his entire house inside the new building downtown. They brought over everything, including the original wallpaper, door handles, along with all the paintings. So you’re literally walking through this guys house seeing how he laid everything out in specific ways. Pretty sure he was a lunatic and a genius at the same time.”

    Like honestly I could never talk this much, It's just not my style.

    [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    I don't speak this in depth about everything, just the things I care and know a lot about. Even then it may be short and concise. You don't want to lecture. The Barnes Museum happens to be one of my favorite places (I was there opening week), so it is something I will speak more on because it is special to me. Being "mysterious" is extremely subjective, however, and I would not advocate talking a minimal amount just to try to give off that persona. I don't text a lot during the day, I'm not on social media, and I tend to have a pretty busy lifestyle that I'm not always sharing with other people. Those things lend to the mystery, if you want to call it that.

    [–]KnightestKnightPeter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    In my experience you want these in-depth excursions into your opinions to be something the girl earns. They love listening to them especially if you're a good story teller, and they're ever only momentary insights into the workings of your complex mind, which just becomes more mysterious afterward. They've seen a glimpse and want more, but you give it on your own terms.

    [–]trpboy123 12 points13 points  (4 children)

    Nice article! I have a doubt though:

    If we are to go in depth with our hobbies, would the conversation end up being one sided? For me personally when I talk to women I have lot to speak (I do tons of variety stuff) but then they just stay there attentive and wouldn't contribute much to the convo - only "nice!" or "cool!" or something. Should I ask questions in between? Or something?

    [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    For the "exercises" I gave, I recommended fleshing it out to 3-5 sentences when you are talking about why you like something. You don't want to talk about your favorite movie for an hour. It is better to give a clear, well thought out response in a few sentences than it is to ramble for 10 minutes about the same subject. One easy way to keep the conversation moving is to turn the attention to her after you give a strong opinion. More specifically, if you want to avoid generic "what do you like" conversations, ask her what she thinks about your opinion on something. Example from the other night, when a girl asked me why I was drinking a cocktail instead of a beer:

    "I like beer, don't get me wrong, but people get way too pretentious over craft beer. Yeah, it's great that we have more choices than Budweiser and Coors. I'm always satisfied with a classic, like a Gin and Tonic. Some craft beers pride themselves on how fucking hoppy they can make it, and others just make disgusting flavors like blueberry. Half the time its just a bunch of hipsters circle jerking over spending $8 on a Miller that has some extra spices in it. How's your beer by the way?"

    Now you're making a boring conversation more interesting.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]oyoungpadawan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      It'll sound too rehearsed and humblebraggy, and then you switch to the question about her life. It's not fluid.

      If you have a conversation where you have to ask eachother questions like main passions it's not going well overall.

      You can steer conversations abit but you should try to catch "links" to previous memories/experiences or opportunities for humor in her answers. Doesn't matter if they relate to the previous question or not. Convo's will be way less boring and you'll end up on interesting or funny topics.

      See it as a crossroads with a main road and many small paths, most people take the main road which is often boring.

      Try exploring abit.

      [–]JcHgvr 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Being funny doesn't automatically equals being a jester. If you can't make someone laugh without making a fool out of yourself or using dad jokes you're simply doing it wrong. There are funny people and there are funny people, you want to be the latter. And as far as sarcasm and dark humor goes, both are duble edges swords, especially dark humor, not everyone appreciates it.

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      To be more specific, I am advocating against being a goofball. You know the kind of guy I'm describing. Always cracking jokes, usually overweight, and he ends up having a fucking breakdown when he's drunk because no one actually takes him seriously. I make women laugh all the time, but it is peppered into serious conversations to break it up a bit or to make fun of them. Sly humor may be what I'm trying to describe. Making women laugh is one of the most powerful things you can do.

      [–]CalvinRichland 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Good points but this should all be natural and effortless. I understand for those that don't have this level you are going step by step

      [–]jesseunlocked 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Amazing insights, thanks for sharing this🔥. Does anyone else face the challenge of being polarizing or have ways to break that habit in?

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Try not to think about it as being polarizing just for the sake of being polarizing. It is ok to agree with people on things, and to also push back when you don't. They key take away is to not be a pushover, which is what I emphasized with:

      A lot of guys are under the assumption that you need to always find things in common, only speak positively, and agree with everything she is saying.

      You can connect with someone even while disagreeing with them. It builds tension, in a good way, because you're challenging each other. Try not to think of it so much as being argumentative, but instead think of it as being opinionated. A lot of people seem terrified of conflict in the sense that they are worried about whether or not people will like them if they don't see eye-to-eye on something. The next time a girl talks about something she likes, and it is something that you clearly do not like, tell her that. Explain why. You'll be surprised with how receptive she is simply because you gave an honest answer that she is not used to hearing.

      Women love the safety of boring and predictable guys. Women chase unpredictable and challenging guys.

      Edit: typo

      [–]Doctordisco 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      “Maybe you get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. If that’s what you want, then by all means go for it. I don’t believe it is an emotionally gratifying life. I would much rather be the guy she had a passionate fling with for a few months and still thinks about from time to time when she’s with her husband. I'll think about her as well. To each his own.”

      Def Agee with this

      [–]deplorable-bastard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      A man can and should be both, when your 65 and alone you may feel differently.

      [–]xddm2653 7 points8 points  (7 children)

      Brilliant. Anyone have a copy of that book?

      [–]PB0034 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Search “ sex god method free pdf “ it should come up.

      [–]WiseBeardy 2 points3 points  (5 children)

      I believe it’s part of a crazy good collection I got for free years ago called Red Pill books. Before I had any idea what trp was.

      [–]xddm2653 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      Heh I'm an idiot, I have that collection. Still on pirate bay for anyone else needing

      [–]uebermacht 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Yes!
      I can give you access to huge collection of ebooks and audiobooks in return for the TRP collection :)

      [–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      [–]uebermacht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for link.
      Would you like to upload the files on mega.nz?
      Torrents are not cool.

      [–]skrrrttt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is money. Thanks for the value

      [–]C_sco 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      Where can I buy the book "the sex god method" you referenced here? Amazon has it listed for $2k!

      [–]lifeisweirdasfuck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You can find it for free. Just google.

      [–]Ccarlial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      With a bit of googling you can find it for free.

      [–]Magnus_ORily 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Fuck you. Ferrets have depth.

      [–]wanker7171 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Being more animated with your responses and really being over the top helps so much too. BE EXCITING

      Had a day at work where I was almost falling asleep while talking to this sexy HB8. I noticed almost immediately that she was not engaged with what I was talking about since I was being very monotone and boring. I switched gears and she went from looking down and away from me to smiling, showing a 0-100 twist in engagement simply by adding more excitement to my tone and body language.

      [–]Gl0weN 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Nice read. Helped me immensely to pass time and I've learned a thing or two

      [–]WorldNewPilla 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Came to me at such a great time. Thank you very much.

      Can you give some more examples of questions like the one your wrote ("Have you done anything fun in the city recently?”) ?

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Sure. I try to ask questions that result in some sort of emotional response, rather than generic questions that she gets asked all the time. You do, generally speaking, want to start the conversation with some basic "get to you know you" type of questions, but you really don't want to linger on them too long.

      Some example questions I might ask:

      • "What scares you?" (follow this with a comforting statement - "yeah, bungee jumping freaks me out")
      • "Are you passionate about anything?" (can be said with a back-handed tone)
      • "Do you volunteer?" (especially good if you yourself do charity work)
      • "Why does anyone like owning cats?" (explain why dogs are better)

      For a general flow of conversation, I like to weave these types of questions in between more general questions/statements. You want a bit of a push and pull between emotionally charged questions and more basic stories.

      Try to imagine questions you may normally ask, such as "what do you do for work", but instead present them in a more emotional way - "do you like what you do for work". She will then tell you what her job is and how she feels about it. This gives you multiple aspects that you can weigh in on, without just interviewing her. You can comment not just on her job but also how she feels about her job. It may help to make a list of 10-20 questions that you would normally ask when getting to know someone, but try to alter them a bit to get a less generic response, akin to the example I just gave. Again, the takeaway here is that you're making her feel a range of emotions, both positive and negative, while also getting to know each other. I hope that helps.

      [–]askmrcia 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Man I don't know. I feel like I do everything you mentioned and I get the same results. Mostly just a bunch of one night stands or short term flings. Then after it's all said, it's over, I get the whole "we don't click speech."

      This literally just happened today while I'm typing it up (and also seems to be a running theme).

      Example: two months met this girl, everything went just as your post. Wasn't a joking jesture, had the interesting hobbies, opinionated on topics but not crazy opinionated, and didn't agree with everything she said. Made jokes about her being a medical student and her liking shows like bachelor, which got some laughs.

      Hooked up twice and the second time I get this text message:

      https://i.imgur.com/wwSDbhl.jpg

      She said sent that two days later after we hooked up the second time (and it was very good according to her, she was screaming and everything).

      Managed to get her back since I figured she was upset that I just left after sex and told her I did that because she said it was past her bedtime.

      Anyways we met up again a week later and had sex, and she sent this:

      https://i.imgur.com/Z6DJTkv.jpg.

      This is one of many examples. I'm at the point where either the women I meet are crazy, they are banging someone else, or there's some vibe I give off. Maybe a mix of the three, who knows.

      Don't know, but I bought this example up that I think it's more that goes into it then the whole "you're boring" or "you talk boring" stuff that I see thrown around here.

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      You're right, there is a lot more to it than what is in this post. This was mainly just a primer for guys who want to have better initial interactions with women. Actually maintaining that attraction after the first few hangouts is a different beast. It sounds like you don't have a problem getting women interested in you and sleeping with them initially, but that the interest fades shortly after. There's a lot of reasons this could happen, and its a big enough topic that deserves its own post (something I started writing about, hope to post within the week).

      Are you maintaining tension after the initial hookup or two? A lot of guys get complacent here and just sort of coast after they sleep with a woman the first time. Just because you fuck her once doesn't mean that she's going to want to do it again. It is possible that the sex wasn't as good as you think it was, but I'm not assuming one way or the other. I would make the effort to get her off at least once before you have intercourse. If you don't know how to give oral sex yet, then learn it and do it. Once I got good at that, I've had women quite literally beg me for it, even going so far as to offer to bring me food at my place in return. A lot of guys assume they're just great in bed because they jackhammer a girl for 5 minutes then roll over. Most guys are terrible in bed, and if you don't believe me then start asking women about their sex lives.

      It could also be that you are handling things poorly after sex. I get that she said she was tired, but women generally don't like it when a guy fucks her and immediately leaves. If you want more than just a one night stand, you have to put in effort after sex as well as before it. I'm not saying you have to have sleepover cuddle-sessions after every fuck, but she's sleeping with you because she likes you. She doesn't want to get pumped and dumped, so if you want more than a one night stand then you have to calibrate for that. Are you looking for a relationship? At this point in my life I tend to gravitate towards shorter flings, usually around two or three months at a time. I'm dating multiple women when this is happening, and I'm open about not being exclusive, but these will always end if you don't commit. If you want a girlfriend, then the reality is that you need to do boyfriend things.

      [–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Are you maintaining tension after the initial hookup or two? A lot of guys get complacent here and just sort of coast after they sleep with a woman the first time.

      I truly appreciate you responding, but Trust me I'm not getting complacent. The girl I gave an example of is one who I fucked three times. The second time she was literally saying how much she missed my dick. And that's what I'm getting at. How she go from that to "hey I don't think things will workout, you're sexy as hell but I just don't think we a good match."

      If you want more than just a one night stand, you have to put in effort after sex as well as before it.

      Yea see I do have more then one night at times. I thought I mentioned that. At most it last up to three months. But the difference between your flings and mine is I'm assuming you're the one that's ending it. Correct? I feel like if anything I should be the one ending majority of them.

      In my case it's the women that are usually ending it.

      If you want a girlfriend, then the reality is that you need to do boyfriend things.

      Maybe this is the dilemma. Maybe I don't know how to do boyfriend shit without coming off as a beta or weak guy. In college I tried the whole texting every day, telling them how much I like them, taking them on dates and buying them presents and you can guess how that ended.

      But as I got older I stopped doing all that shit and really it's the same results except I just get sex faster. The past three girls I took them out on dates (didn't pay), text them only for logistics (sometimes call), and was nowhere near a pushover, but wasn't an ass either and it's the same results. Short term flings and ending with them texting me something similar in my previous comment.

      Yes it sounds good on paper that I'm banging girls here and there, but it's alot of work and dry spells do happen. Thanks again for the comment.

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm happy to respond. I wrote this with the intention to replying to most of the comments, as there is always questions and concerns when it comes to guides like this.

      The second time she was literally saying how much she missed my dick. And that's what I'm getting at. How she go from that to "hey I don't think things will workout, you're sexy as hell but I just don't think we a good match."

      Honestly, it may have just been all that she wanted - some good sex a few times and that's it. It's possible that she met a new guy who she liked more as a person, even if the sex was worse with him. She gave you the option to call and talk about it more, but maybe it is better that you didn't. I wouldn't over think this. It could be way too many reasons to try to figure out why it ended with this one specific person.

      At most it last up to three months. But the difference between your flings and mine is I'm assuming you're the one that's ending it.

      Nope. Many of my flings are ended because they want commitment and I don't. Sometimes it only takes a few weeks, because I tend to escalate things emotionally very quickly. The way they word it is usually something along the lines of "I know I want to be with you and you won't be exclusive, so I can't do this anymore". It is always pretty tough, but it is what it is. I don't regret any of it. It sounds like you are getting similar results in some ways. This is just the type of dating I prefer after a few failed relationships.

      Maybe I don't know how to do boyfriend shit without coming off as a beta or weak guy. In college I tried the whole texting every day, telling them how much I like them, taking them on dates and buying them presents and you can guess how that ended.

      Well, you can certainly get a girlfriend without being seen as weak. Find a girl you like, progress like you normally would, and down the road ask her if she's interested in a relationship. Most women are open to or flat out looking for relationships, if it is with the right guy. You just need to not fuck it up before you get there.

      [–]1Inchado 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Subcommunication is the key to every interaction with women. Your title says "Speak with emotion and confidence". Yet you focus nearly all of your post on the conversational aspects instead of on this.

      When a woman is talking to you, she's taking in all the information your body language is providing her. Women are biologically programmed to look for this. The words you speak don't get her pussy wet, no matter how interesting they are on paper. Your subcommunication does.

      Hold eye contact as if you're looking at her soul, squinch your eyes lightly, smirk with the left upper lip slightly raised. Use downtalk and paused speech. That's it.

      Master this and you'll easily seduce the women you interact with. Conversational aspects are simply a mere cherry on top of the cake. Without the cake, nobody's eating it.

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Your title says "Speak with emotion and confidence". Yet you focus nearly all of your post on the conversational aspects instead of on this.

      Right, the post is about conversations. I think plenty has been written about how to stand, how to touch a woman, holding eye contact, etc., and I didn't feel like it needed to be reiterated. I wanted to keep this relatively concise, because a lot of guys come here asking about "what to say" and "I don't have anything to talk about". Smirking isn't going to matter if you're not actually saying anything. They're both important, and this post was meant to highlight one of them.

      [–]1Inchado 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I think plenty has been written about how to stand, how to touch a woman, holding eye contact, etc., and I didn't feel like it needed to be reiterated.

      Actually, there has always been a lot more posts about conversational aspects like pressure flips, teasing, etc. Your entire post is a reiteration of already popular content here.

      I wanted to keep this relatively concise, because a lot of guys come here asking about "what to say" and "I don't have anything to talk about"

      They think their sticking point is their conversational skills, when in fact it's their body language and frame. They just don't know it yet. Nobody who has their body language game down has ANY problems with conversational skills, because once you do that the most basic conversational shit is viewed as sexual and attractive from the girls perspective.

      Smirking isn't going to matter if you're not actually saying anything.

      Dead wrong. Just look up all the PUA spergs on youtube pulling girls without doing ANY talking.

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Actually, there has always been a lot more posts about conversational aspects like pressure flips, teasing, etc. Your entire post is a reiteration of already popular content here.

      The content on here is going to be cyclical. New users are going to come in, old readers will leave. IWhat I said isn't some groundbreaking new science, it's just observations I've had while out in social settings combined with things I have learned on here and elsewhere. It seems to have resinated with some people that may not have already read similar ideas.

      Nobody who has their body language game down has ANY problems with conversational skills, because once you do that the most basic conversational shit is viewed as sexual and attractive from the girls perspective.

      That's a pretty broad statement. Look, I'm not downplaying the importance of body language. I thought about including something on it, but it wasn't the main focus on my post. This is not a guide to getting laid as quickly and efficiently as possible. Truth is, I used to escalate to sex quicker than I do now. There are styles to game that are much more sexual and direct, and I prefaced that this is not one of them in the intro.

      After awhile, I got a bit bored with fucking girls I wasn't interested in intellectually. These days, I enjoy more emotionally dense conversations with women and sleeping with them after that is in place. I would rather have sex with someone who challenges me, and vice versa, than someone who just likes my posture.

      Just look up all the PUA spergs on youtube pulling girls without doing ANY talking.

      You know how much of this is staged, right?

      [–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I can speak first hand to this. Lifting is not going to make a boring guy more interesting, but combined with speaking emotionally it will create a man that women will chase.

      thanks for posting this. This sub thinks all i have to do is squat 200kgs and the pussy will just jump on my dick.

      [–]Frinkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      One of the best posts I've read on TRP. Excellent write up OP.

      [–]knowledgelover94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I love the exercises to write about your interests and ideas. I’m very passionate about some things, but I can reduce my passionate to a short stupid sentence sometimes in social situations. I should really do my homework.

      [–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Love the post. Will do the exercises right now and try to put this in action tonight.

      [–]ryansworld10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Wow, this post was exactly what I needed. I've been stuck in the trap of thinking you want to express some level of mutual interest in everything. I don't have an issue opening girls, but I usually have trouble getting them to invest any interest I to the conversation. The only times I've had luck is when we've actually had strong mutual interests, which is likely because it was genuine.

      You lay everything out very clearly and all your points make perfect sense. Many thanks.

      [–]Prophets_Prey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is a quality guide. Thanks a lot for the pointers.

      [–]PabloAsscrowbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I would add on that confidence plays a huge part too. Do not be shy about your tastes in music, movies, food and more. Just because you prefer Mozart over EDM doesn't make you beta, it is your character that defines you as a beta. Of course, keep your dark fetishes to yourselves.

      And stop fapping, that shit is quite draining and gives bad sleep (for me at least)

      [–]magx01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      “Concerts are a lot of fun, but honestly I think country music is terrible. It all sounds the same, the lyrics are lazy, and I don’t really care that some hillbilly likes to drive a truck and beat up his wife.”

      I would shorten that to "Country music? Blargh (puking motion)"

      [–]Dartleather 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Hey man, great write up! This is the biggest issue I am having at present.

      I've started to use this but I've come across a small sticking point. I've found that some women tend to reciprocate and repeat in the same 'format' later on in the conversation. Turn my own weapon on myself so to speak.

      I haven't quite figured out how to respond, do I treat as a shit test and ignore?

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sorry for the late response. It isn't a shit test, she is engaging you in a more meaningful conversation. Wouldn't you rather have her express herself in deeper ways than just say "yeah the beach is fun". This is a good thing when she's doing this - she's interested in what you're saying, and wants to tell you more about herself in return. It means you're doing well.

      [–]BloodRedAlert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I like how this post resonates with my personality and general emotional sensitivity and yet it is RP. Great post.

      [–]MeanCaregiver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      one of the best posts i've seen on reddit

      [–]CocaineOnYourClit -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      “I’m really into art actually. I don’t always understand what I’m looking at, but I don’t care. Have you heard of the Barnes Museum in Philly? It's really interesting. This doctor, who retired pretty early because of a patent he came up with, started collecting art by sending his assistant over to Europe to buy what was popular at the time. The assistant ended up coming back with pieces from Van Gogh and Renoir, who have pretty similar styles. Anyway, the doctor becomes obsessed with collecting art and builds his entire house around his ridiculous art collection. Before he died, he put it in his will that the only way the art could be moved was if it was kept the way he organized it. So the city of Philly acquired the collection, and they rebuilt his entire house inside the new building downtown. They brought over everything, including the original wallpaper, door handles, along with all the paintings. So you’re literally walking through this guys house seeing how he laid everything out in specific ways. Pretty sure he was a lunatic and a genius at the same

      For a lot of girls and in a lot of situations this is boring and cringeworthy. Its akin to BP game, her pussy doesnt get wet for your passion for art. These are things you can say after you have established your value and created attraction, not before. And even if it does get her wet because she is one of the few women that likes art, unless she likes art that long response will bore her to death

      [–]LordOfTheReptiles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      For a lot of girls and in a lot of situations this is boring and cringeworthy.

      That hasn't been my experience, but your mileage may vary.

      Its akin to BP game,

      Not sure how you figure that. The entire point of the post (which it seems you haven't actually read) is to be conflicting and polarizing. "Blue Pill" game is agreeing with everything she said in order to try to win her over by being a nice guy. I literally wrote that you should never do that.

      her pussy doesnt get wet for your passion for art.

      This post wasn't "how to get her pussy wet". I think you may be looking for something different than what I wrote.

      because she is one of the few women that likes art

      Women across the board are much more interested in the arts than most men. Again, this was just an example to show how you can talk about something you like in more detail than just saying "I like football and Tom Brady is the GOAT".

      [–]wanker7171 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      I’m really into art actually. I don’t always understand what I’m looking at, but I don’t care. Have you heard of the Barnes Museum in Philly? It's really interesting. This doctor, who retired pretty early because of a patent he came up with, started collecting art by sending his assistant over to Europe to buy what was popular at the time. The assistant ended up coming back with pieces from Van Gogh and Renoir, who have pretty similar styles. Anyway, the doctor becomes obsessed with collecting art and builds his entire house around his ridiculous art collection. Before he died, he put it in his will that the only way the art could be moved was if it was kept the way he organized it. So the city of Philly acquired the collection, and they rebuilt his entire house inside the new building downtown. They brought over everything, including the original wallpaper, door handles, along with all the paintings. So you’re literally walking through this guys house seeing how he laid everything out in specific ways. Pretty sure he was a lunatic and a genius at the same time.

      This is too much imo unless you have her extremely engaged, in which case your response doesn't matter that much anyway.

      This is also not for “funny guys”. Humor is very important, but I wanted to specifically address the purpose of it in my style of game. I generally avoid being the goofy comedian type because you just end up becoming a jester that no one wants to fuck. You’re not there to entertain them with stupid knock knock or dad jokes - you want to make them laugh with emotion behind it. Dry sarcasm and dark humor goes a long way.

      I think you're looking at humor incorrectly. There's humor that displays low social status (i.e. clowns and jesters) but there's also humor that displays high status (i.e. James Bond and RDJ). When combined with good social awareness, humor that demonstrates high status is never a bad thing.