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Field ReportThe value of standing up for your friends in the face of disrespect. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Mr_Zarika

Quick post for you all.

Summary: Allowing women to disrespect your friends is a proxy for disrespecting you. I have a great friend who stood up for me today when I was being attacked by a shitty girl in our group.

Body: I have a main guy that I go out with and we aim to culture strong social circles that we can use to get laid. He recently started bringing 2 girls out, he was interested in the hottest of the two.

We went out for drinks in a group with a third girl. The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us. She has some self-depreciating joke, and I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

"It's make you seem more attainable."

She loses it. Starts actually trying to insult me, telling me to go home and how I'm an actual asshole. I tease her a bit more asking if this is really good acting or not, but also get annoyed. I just start laughing at her, saying she can dish it out but not take it. She won't stop. The other girls are getting uncomfortable at her aggression. My friend gets up from the table, pays his bill and asks if I'd like to leave.

Sure.

We leave and he says that he's not about letting girls disrespect his friends. They're not hanging out with us again.

Lessons learned:

First, I'm seriously impressed with my friend. I'm reminded that it's important to maintain the age old "bros b4 hoes" mantra. But when you have guys in your life who you care about, let them know. We often go without actually verbalizing our love for our friends. Tell them that their brotherhood is valuable to you and you appreciate your friendship together.

There's a limit to over coming "shit tests". One or two sure, but if a girl is just a pain to be around, GET RID OF HER. Some women are just shitty women and need to be cast overboard. Women should be charming and you should want to be around them. Interaction shouldn't be a chore. Our time is worth more than that guys.


[–]disposable_pants 304 points305 points  (4 children)

My friend gets up from the table, pays his bill and asks if I'd like to leave.

Note the interaction (or lack thereof) here. This guy isn't a dick to the woman, he's not trying to put anyone in their place, he just gets up and walks away. If you're in this guy's shoes, you may be angry. You may have something to say. You may feel tempted to "win" the interaction. Fuck all that.

The only way to "win" here is to stay cool, get up, and leave. You don't have time for this shit, and you should show that, not tell it. Being an asshole scores you no points with anyone. Being an adult when someone else is throwing a tantrum does.

[–]whimsyNena 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Don't feed the drama! Best advice anyone can ever give. Your time and energy is valuable and it's beneath you to waste it gathering logs to throw in the fire. If people like this could be reasoned with, they wouldn't behave that way to begin with!

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As soon as I was done reading the post my mind started racing with what I would say to tell them off. Good thing I decided to read your comment too. This is definitely the best course of action. I guess my ego still wants to show them because I'm not content enough yet with myself.

[–]suburban-bad-boy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, we need to stop being smart asses and become smartest of asses.

[–]CapnPoot 206 points207 points  (0 children)

Great post, and very true. Sometimes its cool to take a hit for one of the boys, but theres a line that women need to learn they cant cross. Besides for the fact that it makes them want you more for making them seem like trash, the actual point should be that you have your boys back no matter what.

Mad respect for your friend

[–]Dark_T100 119 points120 points  (3 children)

Nice post. Your friends a true "alpha". Betas would throw you under the bus.

Something else that is related and very common is when one chooses to help betas by way of sharing RP ideas with the intention of helping them improve themselves - then that BP friend promptly goes and tells the world about your "misogynistic" ideals thinking itll score them brownie pussy points for being a white knight.

Be careful about helping betas. Theyll turn on you in an instant because theyll readily abandon their ideals in their desperation for fish taco.

Good on you for hanging around with the right people.

[–]FranckShmibery 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fish tacos are delicious. Oh wait, I’m just hungry.

[–]whimsyNena 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This right here. Betas cannot keep women or attract one of higher attraction on their own. It's a misconception they won't have the balls to be jerks to other men. They aren't abandoning their ideals, they're doing exactly what they've always done: skimming the water for leftovers.

[–]blkMGTOW07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh.... I shuttered as I read the words "fish taco".

[–]yeaiwearkhakis 111 points112 points  (4 children)

That's a great post. My best friend in college ended up being a disappointment in that regard, as I learned later that past all our chumminess he would throw me under a bus for a decent smash piece in a hot second.

I still keep in touch, but he ended up marrying an ex slut with peroxide blonde hair who quickly gained piggy status after the vows.

Real male friendship is difficult in this world, far more difficult than a bit of female companionship in my opinion. Due to the hermeneutics of gay suspicion and the erosion of the old more organic male social groupings.

[–]cBIGONE 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Same here. Had 4 "friends" back in the day who would actually tell girls I had an sti, I was an asshole, abusive,etc. behind my back. Wondered why I didn't get laid in years. Dropped all of them, went for my dreams, and now they are all married to some fat hb5s

[–]MinervaBlade89 26 points27 points  (8 children)

What kind of insults did she throw at you? I'm curious where the line was drawn

[–]Mr_Zarika[S] 79 points80 points  (7 children)

She stood up in the bar and said, "Who invited you? You're just a fucking asshole. You know that?"

She then tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to come with them to the next bar because "nobody likes you".

Everyone in ear shot was looking at her. Her friends were all embarrassed.

[–]SageKnows 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, that's a total bitch move

[–]1AuspexAO 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Your friend is a badass, but sometimes these outbursts will happen and you won't have backup. Either you leave and look like you're defeated, or fight and look like you're sinking to that ridiculous level. Remember that emotion is reality for women. If you can sabotage the emotion and replace it with another one, the behavior will stop.

An example: Smile and say something like, "You're sure making a lot of noise about someone you don't like. <Indicate her friend at the table> and I are getting married tonight, so I'm gonna have to pass." Then make sure and give her friend a little kino joke punch or squeeze to show that you're both in control and also win her over to your side. She's most likely subordinate to this queen of terror, and will appreciate the attention. You undercut the drama by continuously treating her negative emotion as if it were an act of affection for you. A woman who truly despises you will ignore you like any other incel.

Personally, I think the angry ones are sexy as shit, and will play that up for laughs. If you're not comfortable doing that in public you can just pretend you're enjoying a good movie. Look her right in the eye, smile, and ask a lot of questions. "Oh, I can't go with you to the next bar? I'm missing out." <laugh>

[–]Mr_Zarika[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the best reply would have been, "I don't remember asking for your opinion."

Shove her back, and disqualify. But hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

[–]Flying_Wingback 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup, the classic shaming and scolding tactic all bitches use

[–]mcavvacm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly who wouldn't leave someone like that in their own wallowing misery? Was the best decision.

[–]acekilo 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Great post. Most guys are pussyboys nowadays that would choose hoes over bros. If you have a friend like that, drop his ass or don't hang around them. You are what you tolerate!!!!

[–]esirnus18 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I've had the same thing happened to me not too long ago. We went out drinking with my best buddy and I will admit he's the better looking one from the two of us.(I'm the funny guy in the team) We managed to secure two very attractive college girls by midnight and were on the fast track to a "double fuck date" or foursome as some might call it. Unfortunately I started slamming shots way too fast and way too many. By 2.am when we were about to take an Uber to their place I was completely shitfaced and could barley walk. As it turned out the girls proposed new plan to go and have a threesome with my buddy and leave me on the side of the road or whatever. They didn't care, they also called me all kind of names in my face and behind my back. My buddy told them to fuck themselves and forced them to apologize to me. Then he cancelled Uber, cancelled the orgy, and walked me home safely. He could have easily banged the shit out of those girls and leave me behind, but he didn't. No homo but I love this guy and I'm lucky I have a friend like that.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 12 points13 points  (1 child)

when we were about to take an Uber to their place I was completely shitfaced and could barley walk. As it turned out the girls proposed new plan to go and have a threesome with my buddy and leave me on the side of the road or whatever. They didn't care, they also called me all kind of names in my face and behind my back.

In this case, sounds like you had nothing left to recommend respect. Don't count on your buddy covering for and respecting you a limitless number of times if you keep getting munted when you go out.

Drinking till you are plastered is bad for your game, and in a greater sense, your masculinity.

[–]esirnus18 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know that painfully well. So many good nights and opportunities lost because of my drinking. Lord knows I'm working on it...that being said I'm half Irish and half Polish

[–]blister333 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus man who gets this drunk outside of high school or college?

[–]Per_severance 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Your friend is a true keeper! Great story and incredibly valuable lesson

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

"It's make you seem more attainable."

Was that last sentence supposed to be some kind of autistic complement? In reality, it was a guided missile making a direct hit on her self image and SMV. Of course she went nonlinear on you.

If you wanted to keep this in the banter zone, soft-accuse her of fishing for validation in this context. It's like ping-pong; keep the game rolling by returning the ball commensurate with the skill and intensity of your opponent. If you return a soft serve with a power drive, the game becomes no fun and your opponent is liable to lash out at you.

[–]wickedogg 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The line between teasing and insulting is somewhat subjective and sometimes people fuck up on one side or the other. Being able to read the reactions of the people around you is really important in figuring out whether a statement is an insult or just teasing and it's something that people struggle with in high school while maturing.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201311/when-does-teasing-go-too-far

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201311/when-does-teasing-go-too-far

[–]TheLoneProspector 28 points29 points  (2 children)

"It's make you seem more attainable." - this is not charming at all. She had a right to be a little offended. You're essentially confirming her insecurities.

Dunno this post is dumb. Feel like you caused your friend to lose out.

[–]thr0wed_ 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Agreed, I think there’s a lesson to be learned here. When your friend is gaming a slut, your job is to be his hype man and basically have no controversial opinions on anything or say anything wrong. However sometimes even with the best coddling / game, bitches can get out of pocket and go on power trips / rants like this. I’ve had it happen to me. Vindictive bitches love to have power over the “helpless” friend / wingman.

I’d say OP could have definitely been more charming.

The bitches reaction was overkill tho. I do think OPs friends reaction after the situation occurred was the right thing to do.

[–]TheLoneProspector 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she was looking for either a compliment or for a fight. Seems like OP chose the fight. I also misread the post and thought it was one of her friends that was acting up. Feel like it's even worse now that I know it was his boy's girl. OP could have gotten some points with her friends if he handled it congenially. Really seems like an all around fail, but at least his buddy chose his friend. Guess that's the silver lining.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]arseitz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He was saying that her negative feature makes her less intimidating to guys, which is an insult.

[–]SageKnows 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow what a bitch. Your friend did a right thing! It's a sign of just being a genuine good friendship. I did something like that once too, was with a girl in a cafe and she was being all bitchy and annoying so I left. She messaged me later how she was terribly sorry and whatnot. Lesson: know your worth and don't be afraid to show it, it will earn you respect.

[–]markinsinz7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man I wish I was that lucky in life. I'd take that friendship over hot girl relationship any day of the week

[–]redpill77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't fully tell, but it sounds like you might have been uncalibrated. Maybe she was doing things light-heartedly and if you did "snap back" and if there was any malice or even poor delivery its understandable that she got angry.

The fact that you put quotation marks around "shit test" makes me think you don't really understand what they are. If she was shit testing you, that's an IOI and you should be focusing on the fact that you failed it. If she was just mad you were being uncalibrated. If she is really just a bitch you should still be focusing on how you could have handled it. It's great you appreciate your friend, but ideally he shouldn't be taking care of you.

[–]zyqkvx 9 points10 points  (1 child)

The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us. She has some self-depreciating joke, and I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

A woman said a self deprecating joke? You mean she said a joke that was depreciating to you, right?

[–]naIamgood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are truely lucky to have friends. I had Bros would you kill you to be with an average girl.

[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rare to find friendship like this - especially in beta-fied cities. Seen too many guys at bars breakup with the friends over a girl, which is crazy as girls are plentiful if you have your shit together.

[–]bider_swit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can people state their opinions without insulting one another?

[–]vegetaarsenal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The quality of posts here is so much better than what mgtow has become.

[–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Today I had scheduled a cool reunion with my buddies here at the farm where I live, to celebrate the start of Autumn. It’s 30 minutes from town.

One of the guys, the one who was the most excited about it, just bailed because ‘a hot girl from Tinder’ wants to go out. Not only it shows his priorities but also made me look bad, since he had promised me that he’d give my plate a ride (I’m not gonna drive 2ways myself)

What’s the purpose of having friends if you can’t trust them?

[–]Mr_Zarika[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

All it cost you was a slight embarassment to learn something about this guy. A worthwhile investment imo.

Now you know.

[–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel quite pessimistic seeing what happened, but on the other hand agree with you: at least now I know not to trust

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bitches be crazy.

I've had girls telling me they're going to glass me or smash a bottle across my face in serious manner. After 2 minutes, they invite me back to their place to chill. All I did was tell the girl I was gay and every time she touched me I was losing my erection.

Maybe my game isn't calibrated right but still bitches be crazy.

[–]1v1crown 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I mean... you're a pussy dude. You talked shit and couldn't deal with her defending yourself... that's the moral of this story. You're a joke.

[–]blkMGTOW07 0 points1 point  (6 children)

What would you have done differently?

[–]1v1crown 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Not talked shit to her for no reason. OP tried to neg her and it backfired. I don't use negging to get girls I don't know, it only works if you know the girl a bit.

OP is autistic. Clinging onto his male idol friend after his failed pickup attempt.

[–]ImHerWonderland 1 point2 points  (3 children)

"The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us"

Sounded like she started it. Absolutely nothing wrong with shooting the shit. OP didn't want that girl anyhow, his friend wanted her. Clinging to his friend is autistic? What would be better, saying her joke was invalid and reassuring her that she had no flaws and was an extremely beautiful princess?

[–]BruhMan87 -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

So some chick dissed you, you paid the bill and ended up leaving with your "main guy"?

haha.

[–]blkMGTOW07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would you have done differently?