862
863

An attractive woman's abundance mentality (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero

A lot of women have an abundance mentality. If a woman has been attractive her whole life, then she has only known a life where men give her constant attention and are always offering to shower her with gifts and affection. Everywhere she goes, 24/7. It never ends. There are always guys around giving her things.

Attractive women truly worry about finding another man like you worry about taking your next breath, i.e. they aren't worried. And I'm willing to bet that until you read that last sentence, you weren't even paying attention to the fact that you were breathing. Yeah, that's how unconscious it is for an attractive woman to know she's going to find another guy.

So with a never-ending stream of men available to her, why would she ever be motivated to take care of any one guy? It would be like you having a deal with every car manufacturer that you can pick and choose any new car you want, any time, for any reason. And competing dealerships will follow you around when you're already in a car, offering you their car as an alternative.

If this were your life, every day, for as long as you lived, then why would you ever stay with your shitty Honda Accord long term? As soon as your car got a flat tire or overheated or had a busted transmission, you wouldn't be interested in sinking resources into fixing a fucked up car; you'd leave that piece of shit on the side of the road and immediately accept a ride from the endless parade of cars available to you.

By contrast, most men have a scarcity mentality. Neither women nor cars are thrown at us. Most men (who haven't been blessed with amazing genetics and a trust fund) have to work hard and strive for the things they acquire.

And even when they try their best, they still fail. "It's a numbers game" they'll tell you. "Just keep trying, keep improving. You'll get better."

And it's true, you do get better if you work at it. But it doesn't come easy, and almost nothing is handed to you.

So when you finally get your own car (or woman), your instinct is to treat it with respect and care because this is the only car you've got and it took a lot for you to acquire it.

But for men, it's important to develop more of an abundance mentality when it comes to women and not invest too much emotionally into a relationship because each sex is playing a completely different game. She can't appreciate you the way you appreciate her because she didn't fight a perpetual war every day of her life just to earn the privilege to ride with you; you were just the next car to pull up when her last car had a flat tire.

...

Retarded incels will project their values onto women and then judge her behavior according to incel values. These immature men observe a woman's abundance mentality in action and will become angry because her behavior conflicts with what these faggots want. These underdeveloped men see it as being her fault that relationships fall apart. These simians often fail to look in the mirror and see how their own behavior contributed to the downfall of their past relationships.

So if you observe women's abundance mentality and your instinct is to become angry, that anger is your BP incel side whispering in your ear. Stop being a faggot who blames women for their natural abundance mentality and start focusing on becoming a better man yourself.


[–][deleted] 249 points250 points  (6 children)

Good post.

I would add that a lot of the women who you think have massive abundance mentality probably don't: They can get sex, yes, but again--"getting sex" is a male psychological projection. A woman doesn't want sex per se. She wants attention from a high value man. Very few women will have an abundance mentality with respect to high value men because there are not enough of them.

One of the interesting things to observe as you develop SMV is to see the massive difference between how the attractive, abundance-having women you perceive treat low value vs high value men. The same girl who is an absolute cunt to the majority of men who pursue her is obsessing over a guy 14 years older than her, handsome, dresses well, appears successful, and gives but the slightest hint of noticing her. To the thirsty guys around her she is royalty. To the high value man she is an awkward dork trying to appear casual (the way the thirsty betas are to her).

[–]MilkMoney111 50 points51 points  (1 child)

I was going to reply something along the lines of this. Yes, an average woman can get sex whenever she wants with little to no effort. But it's not that she wants just sex, she wants sex with the man she has chosen. She wants a high status man to be the one fucking her. It's our job to be that high status man. You'll see a shift in how you're treated by the girl every other guy is ass kissing. The girl who leaves the thirsty betas on read is suddenly the girl you're leaving on read.

[–]yxngdrilla19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently leaving girls on read. It feel wayyy better on this side I can tell you that for free

[–]1Tommy_407 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Alright alright that comment deserves some praise & reputation

[–]Psychocist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They can get sex, yes, but again--"getting sex" is a male psychological projection. A woman doesn't want sex per se. She wants attention from a high value man. Very few women will have an abundance mentality with respect to high value men because there are not enough of them.

This is such an important thing to cement into your head.

Adding onto that -- yes, women have an abundance of sexual options. They DO NOT have an abundance of quality sexual options who are willing to commit. Your commitment is your pussy. Use it!

[–]123InigoMontoya123 217 points218 points  (31 children)

This analogy is awesome. My father always told me to "test drive as many cars as possible before buying." He however, came from a different generation of men.

Those of us gaming nowadays understand that we are the car, and women will ride in whatever is most convenient or shiniest. All we can do is strive to be the Mclaren breaking the speed limit, not the Honda taking the same route day in day out.

Edit Edit: fixed the spelling on "Maclaren." The Stig would be so ashamed.

Edit Edit: apparently it's spelled, "Mclaren." u/FlexGunship... You have led me astray, and are no longer welcome in my shield wall.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Those of us gaming nowadays understand that we are the car,

My name is Ford Montoya. Prepare to ride.

[–]123InigoMontoya123 15 points16 points  (3 children)

A man of purpose and honor; driven by revenge, he's got little time for bitches. Unlike that White Knight Westley, who puts Princess Buttercup's pussy on a pedestal! We all know who the true man of that story was.

[–]1564001 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Almost. The "l" is capitalized: McLaren.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]yvngpapa 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Wow you drive a miata, those are so cute!"

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Other than they're slow, you're right. They only need a v8 to be something.

[–]FlexGunship 15 points16 points  (12 children)

McClaren

Jesus, it's "Maclaren". Now I have to throw away this monitor.

[–]Beesto5 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Maclaren

Is this the MaClaren of which you speak? http://www.maclaren.us/

Or do you mean this one http://cars.mclaren.com/

[–]FlexGunship -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I made my joke. Enjoy it, or don't.

[–]tnegaeR 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You driving a baby stroller?

[–]twodarray 11 points12 points  (1 child)

You tried to be pedantic but you arent even right.

[–]dxfifa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Named after the new zealand race car designer and driver Bruce McClaren

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm supposed to be a Mclaren?! man i was rolling up in my razor scooter! no wonder I'm not getting laid!

the op post is great and your post ads more value thanks to both of you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 70 points71 points  (6 children)

Yet another brilliantly put way of telling you to Point the finger at yourself first

The key to near every aspect of life is proactivity. Which means always asking "what could I be doing better" before ever considering what someone else could be doing better.

The thing you'll begin to realize after making that mindset your default is how freeing it is. You get to control your own destiny and life to the exact detail if you really want it bad enough. Nothing is up in the wind. At that same moment, your anger phase will be completely extinguished because you realize how lucky you are to be a man who lives a life like a rock, not a woman who lives a life like a weak beachside-shelter during a fucking tsunami.

[–]TheRiseAndFall 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Listening to Stefan Molyneux recently made me realize how heavily we are indoctrinated to shirk responsibility and agency for all that we do and what happens to us. Society is built to brainwash us as children to internalize and external locus of control. This might be to make people easier to control as they stay where they are out of some sense of destiny or perceived lack of power to change themselves and their environment.

Every person that calls in to his show either does not take responsibility for their actions or defends others' refusal to do so. Furthermore these people are very resistant to Stefan's pushes to change their mindset.

Get your shit together people. Stop what you are doing once in a while and ask yourself why you are doing it and why you are where you are. If your answer is ever not "because I want to be/do" or "because I chose to be/do" stop that and think again.

[–]qwertyuiop111222 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Listening to Stefan Molyneux recently made me realize how heavily we are indoctrinated to shirk responsibility and agency for all that we do and what happens to us.

What is your favorite piece? I'd love a youtube link, or a blog post, if you could give that...thank you!

[–]TheRiseAndFall 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It does not look like he posts the call in shows to youtube. They are all 3hrs. Probably why.

Check out podcast episodes 3851, 3841 and 3818 as examples.

[–]SillyPutty47 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation. Episode 3841 is difficult to listen to the first caller. Just a child hamstring away and it's painful.

[–]ProgrammingJames 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can you link me to some videos where he specifically talks about this kind of thing?

[–]KINGahRoo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stef will change your life! Discovered him 3 years ago and I could never go back to blue-pill days

[–]OSaraiva 81 points82 points  (19 children)

A thing you forgot in your thought is that whenever women start declining in their value (ie hitting the wall), is when men are rising to their best years. So that thing of whenever, everyday of your life is not correct.

Also, women are naturally insecure beings who need constant approval to stay balanced, even pretty women. Men (not white knights and all those kinds of smaller men) don't need anything else than confidence and the capability to go wherever they want. So women and men's world, social interactions and minds are not comparable. This is not a competition between sexes: Men want real women and women and real men.

[–]1kick6 70 points71 points  (15 children)

At some point they’re going to hit the wall, but most women don’t see it coming, and live right up until the moment of impact as if “dick is abundant and low value.”

And then an instant after they hit the wall they lament “where have all the good men gone?”

[–]cypressg 11 points12 points  (14 children)

There is no wall for good looking chicks that take care of themselves, they are just as desirable in their 50's as they were in their 20's. The desire for them may be coming from a different segment than it was in their 20's but it's still there, maybe even more pronounced as the pool of competition fades. "The wall" is a myth some of us have created to make ourselves feel better when we're crying on the couch eating twinkies.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I'm nearly 50. The wall is very very very real. A very small number of girls look good at my age, to the point that I don't even notice them. The number of 18-28 that look good are far higher, and they're just as easy to get. Often the young ones are easier, because the old cunts believe they deserve the absolute best, not what they can actually get.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRunawayGrain 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd add the ones that look good at fifty still don't hold a candle to the ones looking good at 18-28.

[–]cypressg -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you're hot then there's no wall, if you're not then yes I'd imagine it's real.

[–]grewapair 7 points8 points  (5 children)

A few of them look good, but you'll make that mistake only once. Their personalities are rock bottom.

[–]cypressg 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Doesn't matter , they still have similar value to their heyday if not more due to their relative rarity.

[–]NitricTV 2 points3 points  (3 children)

There is no wall for good looking chicks that take care of themselves

Those are exceptions to the regular.

[–]cypressg 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Correct, my assertion still stands though. The "wall" only applies to chicks that let themselves go but it's not a "wall", they've just let themselves go. The wall is a myth.

[–]NitricTV 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It’s not really a myth. Because that’s like saying that you don’t need a college degree to be successful. But it’s much easier/ more likely to happen if you go to college.

Just like how the “wall” doesn’t happen to every women but it’s more likely then not. Plus I feel that the wall is more like this

If you look at a female at age 22 & 37 the majority will pick the younger age because generally they’re better looking.

[–]cypressg -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It's a myth for good looking women, they see no drop off in attention throughout their life. For the average chick that lets herself go you can call her post skinny life the wall if you want I guess.

[–]melb22 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Disagree strongly with you about women in their 50s. According to a large Australian study (based on the HILDA surveys) only 7% of single women aged 50 or over will ever again cohabit with a man. And a dating coach was quoted as saying that the women in their 50s on her books have about a 1 in 7 chance of ever being matched and that it takes a miracle for most of them to find anyone.

Most women want a man around their own age to date, but a 50 year old man is not going to find a 50 year old woman as desirable as a 30 year old woman. The 50 year old will be menopausal and beginning to lose the "blush" or "lustre" that a younger fertile woman has. The visceral sense of attraction is no longer there.

It is really important for a woman to have bonded with a man before she hits this age, as the shared connection can carry them over into her post-menopausal years.

[–]coco5440 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, sad but true. Only a small minority of women remain attractive into their 50s. Men too -- most men are well along the inevitable downhill slope by the time they turn 50 -- although a significantly greater percentage of men do remain attractive into their 50s and beyond.

Men can remain competitive in the dating world -- just keep a good job, have a healthy lifestyle, and remain physically and mentally fit -- of course this requires constant work which is why most guys decline almost as fast as women.

[–]cypressg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm talking about attractive 50 yr old women and how they still get lots of attention from the opposite sex, I'm not sure you're talking about the same thing? You seem to talking about chicks who've let themselves go.

[–]hawkeaglejesus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think you're mistaken in your interpretation of the wall as being "no one wants you anymore"

The desire for them may be coming from a different segment than it was in their 20's

That IS the wall.

Using food as an analogy, it's like eating at Whole Foods your entire life then all of a sudden being forced to do all your shopping at the Dollar Store.

Sure, you're not starving, but you're not exactly happy either since the quality of life you'd grown accustomed to is now out of reach and there's nothing you can do to get it back, like a very cruel joke.

[–]cypressg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh, it's hardly that cruel of a joke - they are still in high demand and can pick and chose from their peers, it's not quite the dollar store tbh.

[–]kaane 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Great points. The most beautiful women are often the craziest. They live an easy life but they instinctively know that their beauty will fade away. Yes they have many options but they crave a rock solid man just like any other woman. Just like we need a supportive nurturing woman.

Men and women are wired differently. Dont hate the game, just get better at it

[–]Kellermann 7 points8 points  (1 child)

[–]kaane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great video.

Loved the ending

I also saw the male version of the graph which was equally spot on

[–]practicepricipleprep 59 points60 points  (4 children)

You have explained a very interesting/important concept here. Would definitely like to see a part 2 of this post.

Interestingly enough, one finds that meditation plays a huge role in developing regulation and monitoring over the emotions that in one's past would have led to excessive attachment and oneitis. We often refer sexual attraction as "primal", but one must also remember that "love" is also often a concept which calls forth the most irrational parts of the lizard brain.

Meditate and lift, gentlemen. Meditation provides the mind to combat oneitis, while lifting develops the body which allows one's outward physical attraction to better manifest and attract the abundance of women envisioned by the focused mind.

[–]tspencerb 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Do you recommend meditating on "nothing" i.e. mindfulness, or focusing on something, such as visualizing?

[–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I believe meditation can be found in any activity that takes up your entire attention span and focus. My buddy is a yoga instructor, and he finds his meditation in riding his 1000RR at +120mph. He says that when your life depends on you focusing your entire attention on the task at hand, it's the most intense form of meditation.

Some people find meditation when they jam to music, feeling entirely enveloped by the song. Some people find meditation when they dance.

The point is to get out of your head. Stop thinking about the past. Stop worrying about the future. Just focus on what is happening right now, without judgment. Just be with the moment right now.

The point is to practice existing without all the monkey chatter that goes through our minds all day, every day. Try to silence the chatter by focusing on the here and now.

Some people meditate by sitting still and attempting to clear the monkey chatter by thinking about nothing / not thinking at all, or by counting their breaths in and out, or just listening to the sounds around them (like that moment when someone says, "hey, wait, did you hear that?" And everyone pauses and listens intently for a moment, trying to hear what it is the other person is hearing. For that second or two, when everyone shuts up and just listens intently without thinking, that's close to starting a meditational experience. Try doing that, but for 10 minutes, just listening intently without thinking about what you're hearing. Just sit silently and listen to the world around you.)

And some would argue that being engaged in an activity is the best way to focus your mind on something other than the past, the future, or criticism.

[–]beginner_ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If you are like me and have trouble with "classic" mediation I suggest you look at TRE (trauma-releasing exercises)

Yeah there is tons of marketing blabla around that. Just ignore it and look at pdf/video instructions. I believe it's value comes from the fact that it is a form of mediation because you are focused on the now only.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (4 children)

This is true. I have the luxury of being pretty tight with a 25 y/o smokeshow. Since leaving me during summer '16, she has broken up with 2 dudes. Both times, she was more concerned about crushing them than finding another guy.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

A smokeshow with a smoke screen, it ain't her concern for the dudes. She's trying to stay safe in case the guy goes full crazy on her.

[–]Nufity 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Idk if this is an example of AWALT. There are some women I've known (mind you less than 3) that have been destroyed by a breakup they initiated.

[–]2Dmva100 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Well said. I made a post on Purple Pill the other day about asking what a woman would offer other than sex to make her worthy of a guys committment and what shocked me was not so much how women failed to answer the question, but how appalled they were at the notion that they would have to put in ANY effort to win a man over.

Your post highlights it all. Women don't need to win a man over they just replace him. They'd rather shame a woman who gets the guy she wants rather than compete intrasexually. This is why you must always be spinning and acquiring options, even if youre in an LTR.

[–]Hillarysdilddo_2016 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I used this argument before on a random. Essentially, there is nothing a woman can do for me that I can't do for myself, so what does she bring to the table? Naturally, her answer was, "what can a man do for a woman?" I just lol'd to myself.

Go open that jar of pickles, sweetheart.

[–]2Dmva100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People only reframe and launch debasing personal attacks when they know they're fucked.

Women and liberals primarily

[–]slumdog-millionaire 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Something you also have to realize with this is that a highly attractive woman will also have very high standards. So while men are constantly throwing themselves at her, only a small percentage will meet her standards.

So while she has an abundance, she really only wants a small portion of that, that's important to keep in mind. If you are in that small group that she actually would consider, the abundance of all those other shit men doesn't matter. You can game her differently. She will treat you differently because something about you offsets that abundance of mediocrity.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I agree. But you still have competition when you're in that small group. Once you get a "flat tire" it's on to the next "luxury car".

[–]123InigoMontoya123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my experience women sit inside the car with the air conditioning on while I fix the tire... I should hope that women aren't bouncing out on you when you get a flat. It should at least take an engine failure for them to branch swing into the next passing car. Be better.

;) I know what you meant, I'm just being dramatic.

[–]slumdog-millionaire 0 points1 point  (2 children)

yea most definitely, you'll always face competition as a man, but you can make it far less the more you improve yourself, that's why the goal of this subreddit is to improve oneself to the point that most men can't offer what you can.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Of course. But the focus of this discussion is to turn the game on its head. Don't be a player, facing competition in a woman's abundance game. Be the game maker yourself and let women play the game. At least that's closer to what I got out of it.

[–]slumdog-millionaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sure, have your own set of rules, let the game play out on your terms, I was just adding what I said because I think OP completely overlooked it.

[–]TheEndlessRoadAhead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So while men are constantly throwing themselves at her

It's not just hot chicks either though.

I know this HB5, dudes are swarming around her. She's got a bad rep around town about riding the CC, so it figures.

So while incel boys might be mad at women for their instinctual proclivities, I wonder why they never blame men for having abysmally low standards?

[–]kaane 23 points24 points  (19 children)

Very good post but this applies to men and women in their early 20s. When you are in your 30s the story drastically changes. Women loose their advantages rapidly. Some men get better in life and they start getting more and more choices while the others become even more desperate

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (18 children)

Interesting... could you elaborate?

[–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 55 points56 points  (16 children)

"Men age like a fine wine. Women age like bread."

Look at what each sex finds attractive.

Men appreciate women as sex symbols. The most attractive women on the cover of magazines are young, in the 18 to early 20's in terms of age. That's when most women are at their peak in terms of physical attraction.

And physical attraction is directly connected to fertility. You are driven to fuck that 21 year old hotty wearing that tight dress in the club. You are not spending your time picking up 80 year old women in nursing homes, dreaming about peeling apart that vag like a grilled cheese sandwich.

For men, youth and physical signs of fertility drive our attraction patterns.

Women appreciate men as status symbols. In general, women want the attention of the highest SMV man they can acquire. Women have fantasies about their teachers and professors. Young women get tingles for the slightly older guy driving the Mercedes. Women want powerful men.

Well, power takes time to build. A 19 year old freshman guy won't have the same power and status as a 36 year old wealthy lawyer. If both men have the exact same athletic prowess, women will desire the lawyer over the freshman every day of the week.

So what happens is that men start off the dating game at the age of 18-20 with the most severe disadvantages. They are foolish, ignorant, financially broke, and have built nothing for themselves.

By contrast, women start the dating game at 18-20 with THE WORLD AT THEIR FINGERTIPS. Every guy wants to fuck them. Every guy wants to get their attention. Every guy faps to the imagery of other guys fucking desirable, youthful women.

Comparatively, women literally start the game with all the cards.

But here's how things change. Women begin to age. And as they age, they become less attractive. I don't know about you, but I would rather fuck the version of Courteney Cox in Ace Ventura than the Courteney Cox in Cougar Town.

There comes a point in a woman's life, generally in her early 30's, where she begins to notice how men aren't chasing her as much. She doesn't get quite the amount of attention she used to receive. She starts to see younger women than her in their early 20's getting all this attention from men that she used to get.

This is called The Wall. The Wall is where a once very attractive women finds herself aged out of the main section of the dating pool. When she started at 18 with everything, she has now lost the only thing she ever had going for her: her youth.

But men, on the other hand, have a much different experience. We scrape by, having to learn how to work to be better. For most of us, nothing is handed to us. We have to earn every inch that we acquire.

And the skills that we develop translate into other areas of our lives. We improve ourselves through bettering our education. We improve ourselves by getting better jobs. We improve ourselves by increasing our power.

Then, when men hit their 30's, the successful ones will have been spending the last decade working on becoming a better, stronger, more powerful man, the kind that younger women are attracted to.

And it works out for those men because they are still naturally attracted to youthful women.

Post-Wall women can become bitter when they fall from grace. They'll hate youthful women for receiving the attention from men that they used to receive; and they'll hate men for no longer paying attention to them, or at least they'll complain about men not paying attention to them, while they continue to ignore the lesser guppy men who still pine after them.

At this point, a woman panics and grips onto the first beta provider she can find in an attempt to secure a man since fewer and fewer men are now paying attention to her.

But men of higher SMV status in their 30's will continue to fuck youthful women, making up for the lack of opportunities to do so when they were in their late teens and early 20's.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Nicely written.

Women in their prime act like children with inherited money. What you get for free, you do not have enough respect for it. That's why patriarchy was important, it kept women in check and prevented them from wasting all their money (youth) in vain. There's one good proverb in my native language:

A man approaches a beautiful house and notices a sign that the house is for sale. He knocks on the door and greets the owner.

-I've noticed that your house is for sale. I really like it and I'm interested in buying it. The price is good, but it's maybe a bit higher than I'm willing to pay. But tell me one thing first, is it built by you or is it inherited?

-It's inherited.

-Alright then, we can negotiate the price.

(free translation from my memory)

[–]ShakaLeonidas 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I completely dig this proverb. If i built it, dont disrespect me buy haggling. If it was given to you, theirs no foul. You dont deserve mere complicity

[–]barrelbottomdweller 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I like that proverb. What was the original language?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's common in Eastern Europe, but I don't know the exact origin. And it's a bit different in each language, but the point remains the same.

[–]kaane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow great proverb.

Resonates very much with my experiences.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 39 points40 points  (4 children)

    Hey brother, I feel for your situation. That was me in my late 20's before going to law school. I had no money. I moved out of state, so I didn't have a network of friends. I had a few relationships that ended with the women cheating on me. It just felt like I was trying to ride a bike and my feet kept slipping off the pedals; nothing seemed to go right. Honestly, before my acceptance to law school, I had given serious consideration to suck-starting my glock and spraying my thoughts up on the wall behind me.

    But I came across some shit that changed my perspective. First, I read something that made me realize that I was chasing women in order to satisfy an internal feeling of inadequacy. I needed women to love me because I didn't feel like I was worth anything. I felt their love, attention, and approval as being the greatest feeling in the world because without it, I felt void.

    Once I recognized that, I stopped chasing women and went into Monk Mode. I realized that if my happiness was always dependent on another person to make me feel a certain way, then my happiness will forever be a slave to someone else's will. If I wanted to be happy, then I needed to take control of that and discover what it takes to make myself happy.

    Second, I realized that there are two kinds of people in the world: hostages and hostage-takers. I had been an emotional hostage for my entire life. I needed other people's approval; I needed women to like me; and I viewed my life through the lens of "why is this happening to me?"

    Once I recognized the need to take control over my own feelings of happiness, I started to wonder what else had I been unconsciously waiting for. I began to assert more control over my life and my time. Instead of Netflix and Steam, I started participating in new activities. I took a cooking class. I earned my EMT cert. I proactively started doing things instead of waiting for things to happen to me.

    And slowly, my life started to change. It doesn't happen over night, and I'm not saying that I'm all-of-the-sudden some wealthy Adonis with binders full of women. But I'm certainly in a better place than I was.

    And that's the thing: you have the power to change. Unless you are physically incarcerated, no one controls your time but you. No one has the power to waste your time but you.

    Being depressed fucking sucks, and it's a severe disadvantage when you're trying to get your shit together. I completely understand that. As a soon-to-be MD, you also understand that there are biochemical causes for depression as well, so I'm not saying that you should just change your mind and think better of yourself and your situation. I understand it's rough. I'm just saying to try and start doing new things, even if those new things are small. Taking a different route to school / work, go to a different grocery store, get a drink at a new bar, find a nice park near you and take a walk one Saturday or something. Just at the minimum, shake up your routine. Depression is a rut, a ditch we get stuck in. You gotta try doing different things before you can get a different outcome.

    The power to change begins with you.

    A pizza shop takes a $15 order for a house that is notorious for not tipping delivery people. While all of the other pizza delivery drivers are irritated by the order, the Buddhist pizza delivery driver is unfazed and volunteers to deliver the pizza.

    When the Buddhist arrives at the guy's house with the order, the guy hands him a $20, and the Buddhist gives him the pizza, wishes him a wonderful afternoon, and begins to walk back to his car.

    The guy called out, "hey! What about my change?!"

    The Buddhist replied, "Change comes from within," and drove away.

    Become the hostage-taker, not the hostage. I'm no therapist, but feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Oh, I'm not an MD. I'm a lawyer with an accounting background.

        My story is that I spent 10 years in either a classroom or a cubicle. I have a pretty heavy resume, but I've been a white collar city boy my whole life. The last girl I seriously dated (for 5 years) became more attracted to a rougher, "manlier" man. In short, I was a pussy outside of a corporate boardroom.

        A few years ago when that relationship ended, I took it pretty badly and found TRP. A part of my journey to figure out what it means to "be a man" was to begin exploring more hardcore life-saving activities.

        I began with a 4-credit hour Emergency Medical Responder (EMR) course last year at a local community college, then followed that up the next semester with an 8-credit hour EMT course. I then joined my county's volunteer Search and Rescue group this last summer. I'm certified in Swift Water Rescue Operations, Rope Rescue Operations, Rope Rescue Technician, SARTECH II, and I have my Amateur Radio Technician license.

        Being a lawyer is cool, but striving to no longer be a pussy has been a lot more personally rewarding. Life looks a lot different when you no longer just call for help, you are the one who answers the call.

        [–]Yourstruly777 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Oh it is true. The only way you loose as a guy is if you squander the "build status" years.

        It isn't even worth starting a family if you haven't maxed out the easy 80% of your RMV yet (social, physical, financial capital).

        See, most guys jump the gun too early. The quality of girls you can have when you have a great job, a lifters body and social capital built up over many years is vastly different from what you can get as a 23 year old with nothing going except potential.

        So we see the in-shape 35 yo carreer family men with 20 yo hot chicks flirting with them. They come home to complacement same age wives that come nowhere near in SMV. They are ridden with guilt of course and want out. They dealt their hand too soon.

        Men do start from the bottom, and chicks start from the top. Young guys need to understand that they are nowhere near their SMV potential and shouldnt be so desperate to start families at a young age.

        Even if you luck out and punch above your SMV in hopes that it will even out in 10 years, odds are she will leave you for a hotter guy before that happens.

        [–]SovereignSoul76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It absolutely is true.

        One word of caution though: get out of the "One day I'll MAKE IT!" mindset. There is never a final destination (other than a pine box). Appreciate as you go....but yes, it gets MUCH easier after you turn 30 if you play your cards right.

        [–]kaane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Great explanation. I can only add a small details.

        When those middle aged post wall women finally acquire a beta provider, what happens is that they hate themselves because they think that they are worthy of much better men but this is all they have got.

        So they project this bitterness to their "last resort" . They are never happy and they never let the poor guy to be happy. So this is a disaster situation for both parties

        [–]newName543456 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        [–]butter_coffee 6 points7 points  (3 children)

        Now that you mention incels, it does make me think about their motto: “life for women is easy mode” at first I thought it meant because it’s easy for a girl to get a bf unlike how hard it is for an incel could get a gf, but maybe it is because of the abundance mentality.

        “Always think of what you have to do is easy, and it will be” - Émile Coulé. It’s hard to make sales, but it’s easier for the salesman who sees there are plenty of customers out there and lots of money to be made. I wonder if the girls who say “it’s hard to find a bf” just haven’t tapped into the abundance mentality.

        [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        That is an interesting concept. I wouldn't be surprised if that outlook had an influence.

        [–]Maccabaei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Self fulfilment prophecy. That's the one. You can look it up at Wiki

        [–][deleted]  (11 children)

        [removed]

        [–]vwzwv 18 points19 points  (3 children)

        Men typically get much more invested in women than vise versa. That is why the car (low investment) analogy is a valuable perspective.

        [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 9 points10 points  (2 children)

        I am not sure that is true. I think low SMV men get overly invested because they want the relationship to workout. They want the sex to continue. I think that a man with higher SMV can get many women and usually doesn't immediate commit to one woman and will often cheat because he can.

        [–]vwzwv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        I don't think we are disagreeing. Women typically have a higher SMV then men; they are born that way (as valuated by the consensus of society). Budding men also buy into the messages of society that they aren't shit and discount or not acknowledge their SMV, then let their SMV' cave. I know mine did when I was younger. Women are raised to believe their SMV is greater than it is. So I don't think my blanket statement is at odds with what you said. It's just splitting hairs 'why'.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        SMV is all relative: if you're high SMV you have abundance with majority of women, but if you find yourself in a relationship with a 9 with an IQ of 150 you need to have your shit locked down very tight or you'll go the same route as the low SMV male with his 6.5 (pedestalisation, loss of frame, betaisation etc)

        [–]Desertnurse760 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        Of all the TRP posts I have read over the last few days, this one has some actual truth in it.

        [–]sketchyuser 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        That's probably because it comes directly from experience rather than some theoretical nonsense. Sometimes its hard to know whether to take someone's advice on here seriously because theory means nothing if its not working in practice.

        [–]Desertnurse760 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Agreed. The women in my life have never been the demonic she-devils portrayed throughout this sub, although my second ex-wife comes damn close. The truth is that I enjoy women in my life specifically because they ARE women. I like talking to them, looking at them, working with them, and yes, fucking them. One can be a fully self aware male without demonizing half the fucking population.

        [–]alltrueism 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        On shared memories... I was talking to my ex at work today and she started going on about how some of the older married men would go to bars and take thier rings off. Shaming basically, and how it gives her no hope for marriage. I just said, "loyalty is a rare trait apparently."

        The whole time I'm looking at her while smiling, but inside I'm thinking, " bitch, did you cut out a part of your brain that remembers you cheated on me 8 months into our relationship?"

        It's been over a year, but I'll admit my heart rate increased a bit.

        [–]sketchyuser 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        See well that's up to you.. I don't know about your relationship. But I have a hard line on cheating. If you cheat once, you have the capacity to cheat again. So its a disqualifier for marriage for me.

        [–]alltrueism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My point was more oriented towards her hypocrisy and the fact that she carried on about the subject as if she never cheated herself, to the very same person she cheated on.

        [–]RedSkeller 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Love the post and the analogy. Just to play devil's advocate a bit, what do you think of a woman's mentality as she arrives at prewall territory? She's anxiously trying to lock down a mate as all her friends start to get married and have kids. I've also used the car analogy when talking about ex's that come back - like trying to sell you your old car with more miles on it.

        [–]vinilzordd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Extremely on point.

        Chicks that are pretty since ever have it easier, be it Chads to fuck them/job opportunities/attention/people's affinity or whatever.

        But being an average BP chode (genetics and personality wise) is like playing life's game in hardcore mode. Everything you achieve demands lots of sacrifice and hard work, The main point here is to don't hate on good looking women. This rationalization is counterproductive as hell and too damn energy consuming. Just embrace shit as they are. Better transmute this energy into lifting, improving yourself and building an awesome life that pleases you. At the moment you've completely got your shit together, having an abundance mindset will be second nature. You'll attract more looks from women, more jealousy from AFCs, people will be interested in you, and life will be easier in general. At this point you're already in autopilot mode, and abundance will be your middle name.

        Btw, I've been there: chubby since kid, very few friends, made fun of a few times, clueless about social dynamics yadda yadda yadda.

        Thanks to Red Pill, I've got the choice to accept reality as it is, or keep fooling myself and drown in self pity. I prefer the first one.

        I got a bit off topic, but decent post nonetheless OP

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I’d just like to make the point again.

        80% of women have abundance not just the top hot girls.

        [–]TehJimmyy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Daily reminder that if you are an incel , everybody will hate you.

        [–]imurhckleberry 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Nicely written, good content here...

        [–]1GreenPiller 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Most men can't accept the fact that there's someone better than them. I remember the shock I felt when I caught my oneities with someone more handsome, and way more muscular than me.

        [–]wolf__larsen 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        "She can't appreciate you the way you appreciate her because she didn't fight a perpetual war every day of her life just to earn the privilege to ride with you; you were just the next car to pull up when her last car had a flat tire."

        Good post but this is real simplified, there are plenty reasons why a woman would appreciate a man. For example a woman may appreciate the first man who shows her sincere kindness, or helps her to better understand herself. Just because women have an abundance of choices, which gives them a sort of privilege, doesn't mean it's all sunshine and roses. You ever have an old man catcall you or grab your ass? I'd imagine it's not pleasant. I myself am grateful I am a man and don't have to deal with that shit. It's pushed me to better understand myself more since I'm not just handed satisfaction, and women pick up on this self-awareness I have and appreciate it, even desire it for themselves.

        [–]ThrowFader -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

        Why are you making excuses for them?

        [–]wolf__larsen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Pointing out reality is not by default making excuses. If you want to make that case you will have to do better than that. Try me.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I disagree. Women know they can have sex with a man whenever they want - they are constantly worried about finding "Mr Perfect" without realising will subconsciously ruin every relationship anyway.

        [–]Will_McLean 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Aw man! Why was this removed? I had it saved because I really liked it. Any idea where I can find it?

        [–]TRP Legal ExpertColdIceZero[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        For whatever reason, the full thread shows active to me; but when I log out, the post shows as being "removed." I'll copy & paste the post into a reply comment here when I get to a desktop.

        [–]RPthrowaway123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I like this analogy. It would be especially helpful for introducing men to the idea of abundance mentality who aren't red pulled already - it's subtle and doesn't bring up a ton of trp maxims so it can be understood even by betas.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        I agree and disagree. Yes, there are women who take advantage of their looks and use it to have fun and get free shit. There are also women who aren't stuck up and want to find a man to fall in love with and take care of each other forever. So, while there are many evil women who use men, there are also good women who keep their man around because they found the one. Once you find the one you can't let him go because there are always prettier or smarter or younger women than you that he can offer a ride to. And that , my friends, is how the game goes. Also, no, women's abundance is bs. Both parties should work on themselves. Women don't get a free pass to be bitchy. Hold me to the same standards,please. I will work on myself just as the next man also working 8 himself . I don't get a pass just because I'm beautiful .

        [–]d6x1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        All the more reason to get realistic about your standards if you really want to get value from the relationship

        [–]smirk_addict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Right on time. I have seen two very recent examples of this. I was having a conversation with a girl the other day that's seeing one of my best friends(they probably won't last). She's cute. Average looking. She was telling me how she would ghost dudes for anything. Ghosted a guy because she didn't like his preference in drinks, ghosted another guy because he had tickets to a concert but she didn't like the artist he wanted to see. No explanations or anything, just ghosting over that shit. Second girl, cute but a bit overweight. Works in a bookstore. Touchy feely with guys, gets into your personal space..just collecting orbiters like Pokemon. The minute any guy asks out...ghosted.

        These are averaging looking women, gentlemen. Stay vigilant, understand it for what it is while alwyas remembering you are the prize.

        [–]Fapisluv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I am pretty sure most incels know they are ugly and blame themselves for their problems...not women.

        [–]melb22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I agree with everything but the last part of this. It's true that a woman's abundance mentality affects how she approaches relationships. You have to imagine how if 100 women were willing tomorrow to give you their love, that the gift of each one of these women would lose value in your eyes. It wouldn't seem so special. And if you did accept one of these women, you might have a picky and critical attitude along the lines of "you better not muck up, you better keep me happy etc."

        I disagree with the last part, because in traditional societies steps were taken to make abundance less of a thing for young women. People got married earlier; you were expected to stay married; you weren't supposed to approach women you had not been formally introduced to; women were considered old maids and not on the marriage track if still single at 25 etc.

        The advice to focus on becoming a better man is a good one, but it's difficult to see things improving unless there are once again social restraints on the abundance mentality of young women.

        BTW, things switch around in middle-age. If you're a half decent man, you'll have any number of women wanting to be with you. It's not as good a situation as it seems to be, as it makes the idea of a relationship with just one woman seem less appealing - the pair bonding instinct takes a hit (and promiscuity is jading).

        Better for both sexes if women are led back to appreciating a monogamous relationship when they are young.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Good first half not sure about the second.

        When you’ve had years of lonely nothingness any women who is willing to touch you becomes a benevolent angel.

        Even unattractive women can’t relate to that.

        In fact unattractive women often get more attention than attractive women due to our pragmatic sexual desperation. And know how to play us just as well.

        And as others have rightly pointed the use of the word faggot comes across as childlike, effeminate and ridiculous.

        If any of us actually were faggots we’d have no problems getting sex (a problem exclusively for heterosexual men).

        [–]numandina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is misleading. Women are approached by Mazda and Kia dealerships when they're looking to land an Audi.

        [–]kaane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Very good post but this applies to men and women in their early 20s. When you are in your 30s the story drastically changes. Women loose their advantages rapidly. Some men get better in life and they start getting more and more choices while the others become even more desperate

        [–]nasisliiike 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I dodged a bullet on this type of chick not too long ago. Always flirting with me and giving me compliments. While I at first went a long, I always held back, just in case I don't like her after knowing her. So kept complimenting and the whole time she always wanted compliments back. I never really gave it, because I didn't feel anything for her. Turned out this bitch is pretty crazy when it comes to drama. No way in hell am I going to dive into that. Thank God I didn't flirt back. Not gonna fuck someone I don't have feelings for. That'll lead to guilt for me, but this one I am even more glad, because it would've lead to a huuuuge beef and I'd be neck deep into drama.

        [–]BobbyPeru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Well written and logical. Nice work

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Whenever I'm actively dating I always end up hooking up with chicks. It may take time and effort, but I can always score something. This fact is going to be the foundation I use to form my abundance mentality. If I can't get it today, I can get it tomorrow.

        [–]boboliboliobli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I’m with you OP. Even if a woman is decent enough to stick with you for life (many of you say this is a fantasy), being insecure about her every move ie. how long she takes to text back, where she goes with her friends, how she dresses, scrutinizing her every word, etc will only serve to repulse her. I’ve been that fuck before and I never want to be that fuck again.

        [–]B_Campbell 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Here’s something funny that happened last week. I started getting all these plenty of fish emails. Like every time I checked my email there were 10-20 new message and no unsubscribe link. I could tell from the usernames it was a bunch of guys asking out some girl.

        I had to reset the password and turn off the email notifications to get it to stop flooding my email. While I was there I looked at the pics and the girl was a total troll. I can’t imagine how many messages an even slightly attractive woman or an actual HB would get if this cave dweller was pulling in that many. They must have hundreds a day.

        [–]fromthecrypt8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Ain't that the brutal truth!

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        They have an abundance of cock available, and limited chances to secure commitment from a high value man. It is a red pill and life truism that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and women are the gatekeepers of sex. The issue is that women do not want commitment from most men so we return to red pill methods to max out your SMV if you want to fuck hotties, or raise your RMV if you want an LTR. TRP is yet to provide a framework or proper guidance to fixing your RMV or status so stay tuned. This to me seems to be the next logical step to masculine freedom and power. After all, if you do not have a pack of betas obeying you, then what are you?

        [–]RedwallAllratuRatbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Wow, so women treat men like GTA characters treat their cars. Makes sense :D

        [–]CaptainPeacock138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You guys and the incels are the different sides of the same coin

        [–]rossiFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Have you ever known or observed a woman who has ugly duckling syndrome? The abundance mentality becomes her life force. She will wreck her life over and over for just one more ride on the CC.

        [–]imdar3ald3al 0 points1 point  (3 children)

        Agreed, and no need to use faggot. Though I will say the redpill helps combat this and put men on or above a woman's level

        [–]tallwheel 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        You got a problem... faggot?

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        exactly. not only that they don't get attention because most men are pussies, but also because a lot of these women have so much head drama within themselves (pretty much all women, but i'm talking about the hamster spinning out of control here) that they don't even know how to act and be comfortable in their own skin. literally most of the dimes i've been with were mentally fucked in the head. i can't even begin to explain or even understand how they even function on a daily basis with the way their mind works (or doesn't work). and for a lot of solid men that are not bp, this is red carpet of red flags, so they just get tossed aside after a fuck or two because ain't nobody got time for that bullshit.

        [–]mnemos_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Somehow this seems like a contradiction in terms.

        [–]keysomea 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Nice post OP saved for posterior reading. Really good analogy too.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I like to read while sitting down as well. XD

        [–]jewishsupremacist88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        this is why women in muslim countries are covered in veils most of the time.

        [–]gorilla_bro -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        That is why working on yourself (body, mind, behaviors, communications, mentality, attitude) is worth the effort. Become the shiny G Wagon for her. I for one would be content with a G wagon and would not want to freely transition rigs.

        [–]BeastAP23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Wow thay was a lot of whining tldr

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]mnemos_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This isn't that kind of party, chap.

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I had a Rolls-Royce for about a year but she moved on. I've been driving a 1995 Ford escort since.

        Upside is Rolls-Royce will get less attractive as she ages while I only get better looking. I may even be able to trade in my Ford for something better soon.

        [–]fortifel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Well, thing is women's attraction is high at first, but declining with time and there's not much they can do about it. While men's attraction is low at first and raising with time, and men can influence their attraction much more. That said, I'm glad I was born as a man, and I can work on my attraction.

        [–]futmut -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        The last sentence is makes absolutely no sense and you sound retarded...

        There is full of posts like this, from people who have no idea what they are doing and what they want...

        I like how you guys find cool to make fun of other people, the incels, faggots, betas, bpillers and bla bla bla...when in reality most of you guys were like that, and still are like that but for some miracle you managed to hit on a pussy so now you pretend you know everything and immediately become some sort of superhuman...

        Most of you havent had a pussy in your entire life and came to RP to find out how to get pussy, but lets make fun of people on your same situation cause now your another person, a true alpha male who got everything...Lol poor kids.

        You guys are so dumb to really think that reading the RP will make you alpha, yeah sure buddy...keep dreaming.

        You either born an alpha or you try to cut losses when you are born a beta...and RP does just that, cut losses...Meaning you dont get to be used by women and perhaps leave a decent life.

        The SMV is just BS, You work on yourself, you find a good paying job and women will want you for that...for your money...Some naturally gifted good looking guy will fuck your girl while you reading the RP and thinking omg my SMV is throught the roof...