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MetaHow to Deal with Apathy, Depression, and Lack of Motivation (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed Contributorthelandofdreams

My writings tend to lean towards the philosophical or theoretical— but this week I’ve decided to go in a bit of a different direction, to dedicate some words to a nuts and bolts topic, and to dispense with the theories in favor of something concrete, something tangible.

After my post last week about apathy vs. passion, a lot of guys commented that they were going through bad breakups, that their shattered relationships were causing them to feel seemingly insurmountable apathy, to lose their sense of purpose, drive, and passion, along with the ability to control their emotions. Others had no breakups, but still felt despair in their day to day lives. Still others sounded like they might have had straight up clinical depression.

All in all, I’ve noticed a lot of young men around here just struggling with emptiness.

I’ve been there myself. So let’s talk about it a bit. There is no shame in it. This post is for the young men among us who are battling with apathy, with rejection, with general low spirits and feelings of simply not having their shit together: guys are looking for a place to start their uphill battle to “get their mind right” as the black folks say.

Some people here might balk at this kind of discussion, but I really think the Red pill shouldn’t be just about sex and lifting. It should be a sort of brotherhood. A brotherhood of the cynical, perhaps, but a fraternity none-the-less. After all, where else can men come together to talk about this shit? As part of the brotherhood, I want to help and support my brothers as best I’m able— so let’s jump in.

Here are ten steps I’ve taken with great success to beat low spirits and feelings of emptiness in my own life. Please note I am not a licensed therapist and the following advice is anecdotal and based on common sense observations and my recovery from personal struggles. It is not scientific. If you are feeling suicidal or otherwise severely clinically depressed, skip straight to step number 10.

Step one) Get a Fucking Hobby.

That really is all there is to it. In the words of the recently insane Shia Lebeouf: JUST DO IT.

Almost all anxiety and depression can be solved by, to put it really simply, picking up a hobby. I’m not trying to minimalize a complex struggle, but part of becoming a red-pilled man is learning that a lot time, energy, and mental space you give to women and the sought after feeling of validation they can bring, should instead be brought back to focus on yourself. You do that through pursuing your own interests. Letting your concern, passion, and mental space just sort of float around, waiting on other people (ehem, chicks) to give you a sense of fulfillment, is a sure-fire recipe for feelings of dissatisfaction. So what you have to do is find something new. Join a rock-climbing club. Learn to cook Thai food. enter a marathon and train your balls off for it. Set a goal to read 50 books this year. Then, whatever it is, just fucking start it. Day to day you will find yourself more and more consumed by it, and you'll wake up one day and the pain will be supplanted by your hobby.

Never make a woman your hobby. I see this mistake happen SO MANY TIMES with bluepill guys, who then spiral into depression when that fickle and capricious stimuli gets eliminated.

Step two) Volunteer

Volunteering has saved my life a number of times.

Times when I found myself alone in a new city, with a job I didn’t like, with few friends and an overwhelming sense of alienation, a lack of purpose. Crawling into a bottle, into video games, into porn – all of it making the hole in myself deeper and deeper.

Then, on a whim I went and just signed up for something random. Once I volunteered to write articles for a non-profit magazine. Boom, within a month I’ve formed bonds and relationships with the other people who work on the publication (some of whom were sexy women). They all respect me because I’m volunteering my time and energy to do something useful rather than being some random bar fly. I’m getting out there every Saturday for the magazine meetings. I’m sharpening my writing and getting to use my hobby for something interesting. I’m getting to interview dozens of people for the magazine, along with a translator provided by the magazine (this was in a foreign country btw). Now I’m involved. Now I have purpose. Now I have friends who respect me. People recognize me in the street and ask me questions. People are complimenting me on my articles. I’m an important person in the magazine. Three months pass. Now I’m the editor. Now I’m getting to give talks in the community about the magazine. People are listening to what I have to say. Now girls are coming up and wanting MY TIME instead of vice versa.

All because I responded to a little card on a bulletin board somewhere.

If you can find a hobby or interest that coincides with the opportunity to volunteer, to join a club, to participate in your passion with other people around you, you are being proactive about improving your life, and on your way to some greater sense of fulfillment.

Step three) Lift and Run

I don’t think I really need to explain this much, as it is one of the cornerstones of this whole subreddit. But I would be amiss to leave it out. Lift heavy things. Run races. Control your diet, your alcohol intake, your drug intake.

You will be happier, healthier, sexier, stronger, have more energy, etc. etc. etc. . Enough said.

Often the very first step to lifting a depression is getting into the gym. There is a whole subreddit about it: trp won't let me link it, but it is /r exercise your way out of depression.

Step Four) Travel to a Strange Place Alone

I’ve written an entire article just about this one step: It is long, so if you want to delve deeper you can read it here.

Go alone through strange country, rifle through strange records and hear the lapping of alien tongues. Let it do its odd things to you. Let it brings out what is already there in you — anger, alienation, fear – and magnify your problems, your unsuitability, the things that make you dubious to and of the rest of mankind. Let your shortcomings be marked and put on display, exhibit your faults to yourself for the first time. Enjoy the most brutal of therapies. Do it deserted and friendless. Be a stranger. Stagnate on that tropical island watching the men unload fruit, it will teach you that you are stir crazy, a restless man whose problems aren’t real, that your issues all arise like phantoms from a mind that makes it impossible to sit quietly in a hammock all day. Walk through an East Asian village, let it teach you that you have always felt like an awkward outsider who everyone really is staring at, like a person on the edge of some great warm campfire of humanity that you have never been invited into somehow. In Eastern Europe you will learn that the rest of the world doesn’t give a fuck about American, feel good, PC culture and that not everyone is equal by default. There is no one waiting at the end of it all to give you a pat on the back and a participation trophy. But dive in anyway. Baptize yourself in the reality of it all: your whole life has been a product, a fantasy, a construct, and you are a result flavored by all those things. The language you speak and the clothes you wear, even the way you walk gives you away as someone not of this place, a stranger. And yet, buried beneath the many layers of sediment there is something at your core that is inexcusably human, connected, a person that really is sitting inside that ring of light, that warm campfire with its smiles and drinks and songs, that is absolutely steeped in the universal beauty and value of mankind.

Go out and learn about the communal loneliness of the world, if you haven’t yet. It will do you good.

Step Five) Online Date with Zero Expectations

This one might be a bit controversial on this subreddit, but I fucking swear by it.

We live in a time where there is pretty much no excuse for a single guy not to be meeting new women all the time, if that is what he wants (and let’s face it, that is what we are biologically programmed to want). A cold approach when you are depressed can be daunting. Thankfully, we live in a golden age for connecting with others.

However, I don’t recommend you go into it expecting anything. When you online date exclusively to try to hook up or even find a relationship, it will often frustrate the shit out of you, particularly if your game isn’t sharp. When you online date with the attitude of, “this sounds fun”, you tend to have a much better time with it. As an aside, this same advice holds true with pretty much all interaction with women it turns out.

If Tinder isn’t your thing, Meetup.com is a great way to just meet a bunch of different people who share a common interest. They even have groups that just go out to new bars every week and drink together. Whatever it is, use the internet to make new connections, meet new people, and do it with a sense of exploration.

I’m nothing special to look at and live in a medium sized city, but I remember one week having coffee with like 10 different chicks off of OK cupid. Wasn’t even trying to hook up. Was just fresh back from being abroad, newly single, and wanted to see how the landscape had changed since I’d been away. Probably spent twenty bucks. One of them invited me to a concert where she knew the band and I got to go backstage. Another one introduced me to a pretty awesome art museum in my home town I’d never even visited and educated me all about the local artists who’d painted them. Yeah, they didn’t make long term dating partners or even long term friends really, but it was just nice to know that people are out there looking for each other, if that makes sense. It beat the shit out of sitting at home alone on the computer Saturday night, that’s for damn sure. Particularly if you are suffering from oneitis, this is a great method to show yourself the pretty much endless possibilities of life as a single guy, to sharpen your skills, and sometimes yes, even to meet that girl who is down for it.

Step Six) Set and Crush Goals, Even if They Are Small

Dopamine controls your mood, levels of interest, motivation, and a whole lot more.

In order to cultivate dopamine, some scientific evidence supports the use of short, easily achievable goals. Of course, you can’t just set the goals, you have to actually do them.

Start every day with a physical, handwritten list of ten things you want to accomplish. Or even five, or three, or (if you are really struggling) just one. When you finish it, cross it out with a highlighter. That way it is crossed off but you can still read it and you can still see all that you’ve accomplished at the end of the day. Even this simple physical act is thought to release pleasing chemicals in your reward center, to train your brain to go after goals. Not only does this process tickle the “fulfillment” part of your mind, but it also helps you to actually get shit done. Sounds sappy as shit, but it’s true: achieving your goals today is the best way to have a better life tomorrow.

Step Seven) Remember You’re Going to Die

It’s kind of a cliché at this point, but you aren’t going to live forever. We often forget this in the whirlwind of day to day living. Our trials and tribulations often feel more ponderous than they perhaps should be, given the infinite scope of the universe and the very small scope of the time we are allotted.

It may strike you as morbid or odd, but sometimes when I’ve felt depressed, or without purpose, or even just apathetic and blue, I’ll go to a graveyard.

No, I don’t sit around and write goth poems and cut myself. (I’m anticipating the jokes, so bring them on)

I walk through the cemetery, look at the words etched into the stones, and think about the people lying underfoot. Beloved wife. Cherished son. 1890-1966. James Winter. WWII Private first class. Etc. Etc. Etc. All of them stretching off into the distance. All of them with lives as important and meaningful to themselves as mine is to me. That’s all in this one 3-acre churchyard, in one small city, in one state, in one county, on one continent, on one planet. The dead are legion.

The mind reels, and I remember: where I am they once were, and where they are I will certainly someday be.

This helps puts things into perspective. Time to quit moping and go fucking enjoy existing before I blink out forever.

Step Eight) Camp/Get Nature

If step number seven was a little darker than you’re up for, step number eight might feel a little more sunshiny. It appears on this list for so many reasons. The simplest of which is that vitamin D, provided by the sun’s rays, is an essential element for your health and happiness, and one which we 1st worlders, with our Reddit and our Starbucks lines, get painful little of.

But beyond that, nature, and camping in particular, is helpful in other ways. It teaches you self-reliance. It teaches you appreciation for small things – a thin fish fillet over a camp fire, a warm bed after an all-day hike, the view of the mountains at sunset, a sip of whisky from a canteen - whatever. All those things you usually take for granted are suddenly vivid and meaningful when you put down the fucking smart phone for fifteen minutes and lace up your boots.

Your brain gets so overstimulated in city life, and you are just generally coddled by all the comforts of modernity. Sorry to disappoint some of you alpha city bros, but a real man knows how to build a fire, catch a fish, chop wood, run a trot line, field dress a rabbit. It is part of embracing the inner animal, that simple creature that is inside you hiding behind the penny loafers and the polite small talk.

Buried under that thin veneer of civilization that swaddles you there is a beast waiting. Let him out on occasion and you’ll feel happier.

Bonus points because it will help you survive the coming zombie apocalypse/nuclear winter.

Step Nine) Change Your Direction in Life

Sometimes those feelings you are experiencing – that emptiness, boredom, anger and apathy – should actually be listened to. You can’t always fix things with exercise and vitamin D, in other words.

Sometimes these feelings are trying to tell you something, and that is that you are living your life the wrong way.

Maybe you really shouldn’t be an office worker. Maybe you really shouldn’t be dating this girl. Maybe you really shouldn’t live in this place, have these friends, and spend your time in this way.

Maybe it is time for a huge fucking change, going out on a limb, making a dramatic alteration to the way you are living. Move to another country. Become a fisherman. Quit your job. Leave your wife. Whatever it is, those feelings might never go away if they are based in some concrete aspect of your life that is leaving you feeling unfulfilled.

Perhaps the reason you feel empty is because…well…you are empty. Perhaps it is time for a reversal in the order of things.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what that reversal might be, or what great sea change is needed, but I would be amiss if I spent this whole post telling you ways to overcome your negative feelings when those negative feelings were actually signaling to you to pull a U-turn.

Step Ten) Don’t Feel Better?

Get off reddit and go see a fucking doctor. There is no shame in it. The problem could be deep and chemical in nature. Good luck.

I hope that helped guys. Feel free to comment if there is anything you’d like me to write about next.

In the meantime you can check out my Book on redpill dating, and my Blog on male self-improvement.

I also generally give a free PDF of my book away to redpillers who PM me and swear on their mother’s eyes to write a review on Amazon.

Thanks TRP. And to all you guys feeling blue out there –

time to get busy.


[–]randarrow 103 points104 points  (17 children)

When I hear someone is depressed or discussing depression, I recommend they read Wikipedia's Evolutionary approaches to depression.

Depression is a condition like hunger, it indicates a necessary change in behavior in most people. It's worth understanding, knowing there is nothing wrong with being depressed, but it may be your bodies way of telling you there is something wrong outside of you.

[–]JackGetsIt 4 points5 points  (10 children)

This is interesting. Do you have other sources on this? What do you think the thing 'outside of you' is that's causing depression for most modern people?

[–]insoucianc 28 points29 points  (6 children)

We live in a winner-takes-all society because of how our economy functions, so we have innate sense that if we are not the best socially, physically, and mentally that we will end up with nothing. It's why we teach our children to compete heavily starting in middle school, because we are preparing them for a world with a finite number of medals, scholarships, acceptance letters, and eventually careers. To cater to this economic platform, we use the Prussian Model of schooling to ingrain our society with patriotism and prepare them for industrialization. This model of capitalism has continued into the modern day with more and more people competing over what are now less and less resources. Eventually, this model will either collapse or be forced to adjust because patriotism and industrialization diverge as the industrialization grows more and more privatized and secular. What many of us view as our personal sexual frustrations are actually the result of an economic system that is failing people and confining their freedom of ideas and expression through an illusion of choice.

The best bet, in my opinion, is that we need to take a step back and honestly ask ourselves if unfettered and unregulated financial practices are more important than ensuring the longevity and well-being of our citizens. This is because while the red pill provides the tools for short-term sexual encounters, it leaves nothing for the blue pill tools that are necessary for long-term romantic relationship that will produce healthy and happy offspring.

Everything in our society is interconnected, and at it's core it all comes down to money because that is the token we need to play the capitalist game and survive. How we survive and view as beneficial to the survival of our offspring is what we view as sexually attractive. What we view as sexually attractive guides our overall willpower to do things (I.e. Willing ourselves to go to school to get money and become secure enough to produce healthy and happy offspring), etc.

If we want to navigate the path of life beyond just short-term sexual interactions, which is what I imagine many want, not only on TRP but life in general, then we need to develop ourselves to either subjugate those around us to produce profit for us or we have to change the way we do business so that it benefits more people.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

No no no, while I understand your reasoning and it sound really well, this is not so easy.

Capitalism has been criticized from the beginning. Most prominently from Karl Marx. He is still waiting for the worldwide Revolution he expected. It wont come.

Capitalism among all the economic systems is the one that is closest to how nature works. Unfiltered capitalism means ultimate freedom and zero security. Just as it is in Nature. No Lion can take an insurance for his hunting luck the next day or for a year. However (unless men intervenes) nobody will also tell him how much game he can or can not hunt or at what conditions etc.

This system works for as long as there is life in nature. The obvious Problem with it, it is from our point of view highly gruesome and for a intelligent human society impossible to maintain or accept. Thats why we dont have a pure Capitalism but always with conditions and rules.

Still, even though it is "watered down", its close ties to nature (a system that worked since "the beginning of time") make it successfull against all odds compared to its rivals (socialism mainly).

If you can accept, that we humans evolved from animals, then you might also accept, that we still have underlying animalistic drives and you also might accept that these drives flourish under "natural conditions".

The biggest challenge we have is to harmonize our "higher" needs that stem from our intelligence with the "lower" urges that drive from our animal sides.

Basically what I am trying to say is; if we only satisfy our intellectual ideals of eternal peace, happiness and equality, then our animal urges will cause unrest. If we only satisfy our animal urges like unrestricted competition, "limitless" (not limited by human laws that is) freedom and the complete power of the strongest over the weak, then our intellectual side will cause "trouble". Either way, chaos will most likely be the outcome.

As long as we cannot eliminate one or the other, we must find a balance. Impossible as it may be.

[–]insoucianc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think you give humans enough credit, most of us don't want to subject others to our will or compete to the death. Those are emergent symptoms of a life that fails to address the actual animal urges we are concerned about: survival of ourselves and of our progeny.

This can be taken care of without a winner takes all and the loser dies kind of hologram we've mentally projected onto our world and called "instrinsically natural", because it represents a very limited and primitive perspective of what is actually true, which our "higher" self, or intellect, knows outright. Our system is an abysmal failure for an overwhelming majority of people and will thus collapse in on itself eventually one way or another, the question is what will we replace it with? Or will we doom ourselves by rebooting the game with different names for the same power players?

This planet is all that we have and if we do not work together and realize that we all want the same thing and have PLENTY of resources between us to make that happen then it will remain all that we've ever had and this gnawing spiritual void created by our self-condemnation as a direct result of condemning eachother that is ripping into the subconscious and concious thoughts and emotions of our species the world over will remain unfilled.

[–]TheOneWhoWokeUp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Economists for the most part agree that all economic transactions rely on trust. We as social creatures have evolved to tust those in the tribe. Read Debt: the first 5000 years by David Graeber, Kropotkin's Mutual Aid and The Company of strangers by seabright. These will challenge your current views and maybe not displace them but help you understand a side other than the one our corporate overlords try to indoctrinate us with (aka social darwinism).

I would link more works but academic pay walls are a bitch. Paul Newman argues however that a political economic system called anarcho-syndicalism is actually the system that has worked since the beginning of time not capitalism as you suggest.

Knowledge is power, understanding these arguments can help make you a better capitalist

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did read a few economic books, not enough to call myself any sort of expert but enough to know that this is a topic far beyond my current capabilities. I am not telling that I have the magic formula, or that what I say is just the one right thing (if this is what is projected from my text then it was not on purpose).

What I stated is merely my own observation. The Capitalist System should not have lived that long let alone see any success if we were truly and deeply directed only by our "highest faculties". Its success alone, at the least, should be noticed.

I also wanna make absolutely clear, that I dont think that Capitalism or any other form of Economy is the "absolute". We will and must strive always towards better form of systems, probably never achieving perfection but always getting better.

Capitalism seems to be the fitting system of our age. I cant tell you if it still will be tomorrow, in 10 years or in a hundred Years.

Socialism had the best and noblest of ideas as its framework and it crumbled and exists today only as a shadow of what it set out to be. We must be aware of one thing, that reality sometimes dont meet our expectations.

Regarding Economists, there is a saying that "if all the Economists of the World were laid End to End, they would still not reach a conclusion".

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]insoucianc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't claim to have all the answers, just a lifetime of anecdotes as well as access to peer-reviewed psychological and sociological research that gives a scientific basis for my conclusions regarding such anecdotes. If anyone can construct a better model or give criticism to mine I encourage them to do so so that we can all have a better understanding of the processes that have led us into the present day and how we can best navigate the way forward.

    [–]randarrow 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Most modern people? Not really, most people are not depressed and the point of summary is there may be many causes.

    Other sources? The summary has over 50.

    Outside of you? Most of the approaches seem to take illness or social pressure as a cause for our depression mechabism, which both originate externally. Isolating ourselves may give us a chance to accept or break out of social niching, break out of habits, silve problems, and prevent us from passing on illness to each other.

    [–]flashbang123 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I don't think most modern people are depressed - but most of us are unhappy, unmotivated and generally unhappy with the rat race life and don't know why. So we drink, do drugs and try to fuck away the pain. Many out there are lost and don't consciously know it. There's got to be more to life than TPS Reports, right? Office Space was a perfect take on modern society.

    [–]randarrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have a joke:

    Why did our ancestors leave the jungle?

    Because they were tired of looking at the trees.

    [–]IngratiatingGoblins 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Might be true, but it is always best to see a doctor. I was extremely depressed, and decided to move out of my parentd home, across the country, into an apartment of my own. 2 months later, still miserable, despite a job and income that most would kill for.

    [–]randarrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Not saying not to see a doctor :D I'm more of a fan of both trying to fix it yourself and getting help. For example, one of my big problems is sleep apnea. I both focused on soliving issues myself (exercise, diet, better pillows, avoiding alcohol....) and got help from a doctor.

    What was the solution in the end?

    [–]hamsterbator 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    am a doctor. if you came to see me i would write you a prescription for a pill i don't believe in that has pretty weak evidence behind it because that's what you were seeking coming into my office.

    The main reason I would give you a pill though is the placebo effect is very strong.

    [–]IngratiatingGoblins 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Look that's just irresponsible. You need only do a quick google search of forums of depressed people who go through several antidepressants that don't work. And how waiting for the drugs to kick in (or maybe won't) is terrible. There's no shortage of drugs that won't work for any given person, so why give them something you know won't work?

    I don't doubt a placebo will work for people who think they're depressed, but not for someone who has the real deal.

    [–]hamsterbator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    they don't not work. they just don't work that much better than placebo, which can work quite well. they come searching for a pill you give them a pill and hope.

    [–]mcp42 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    I'm new here, I enjoyed reading this article. It struck a chord with me. One day I'll be gone forever, nothing I can do about it. Time to venture on and let the wind blow between the crack of my ass.

    [–]Trainzkid 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for writing this, I needed it.

    I struggle with clinical depression, but I've tried some of the things on this list previously and they do help. Now I have more things to try.

    [–]Moonboots606 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    This is one of the best posts I've read on this subreddit. It actually tackles subject matter that is central to TRP and offers solutions to the discussed issues men are actually trying to accomplish, unlike the other crap that obviously broken-hearted, butt-hurt guys typically post on here. Thank you for this as I find this not only important in the daily life of a man, but actually necessary in today's social structure.

    [–]LidlKwark 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    I love to see this stuff on trp. This is the kind of in-depth discussion we need

    [–]Elevated_Gentleman 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Great post, I have used many of these methods in my own life, can confirm that they work wonders! Volunteering, hobbies and exercise are the most important I feel. There was one time in my life when I was such an empty and depressed wreck, but volunteering literally saved me. It forced me to get out of bed, to shower, to eat (even these can be challenging to those suffering from depression). For some reason I could not allow for someone else to suffer because of my actions, I couldn't miss volunteering or the other volunteers would have too much work. I was fine with damaging my own life, but could not allow someone else to be negatively affected by me.

    [–]108113221333123111 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Out of curiosity, what did you volunteer for? Glad to see it had a positive effect.

    [–]Elevated_Gentleman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I volunteered with older adults with various neurological conditions, mostly those post-stroke, Alzheimer's, MS, dementia etc. These sessions got them moving and performing some physical activities, I was essentially like a personal trainer for them (showing them proper form, spotting for them).

    It was an amazing experience for me, however I was actually very uncomfortable at first. Many of them used wheelchairs, some were very difficult to understand when they were speaking (due to stroke and dementia affecting their speech) and I had never really been around people like them so closely before. Being uncomfortable forced me to grow, and over time I was no longer uncomfortable. I learned a lot being there, it was a truly great experience.

    [–]partysandwich 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Is these type of posts, more than anything else, why TRP is a valuable subreddit

    [–]namihasnicemelons 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    what a fucking guy. great post

    [–]greatslyfer 15 points16 points  (8 children)

    I need to visit a fucking doctor.

    Maybe it's mental thing that I need work on, but wouldn't hurt to see if something nutrition related is to blame for my constant feeling of shittiness.

    How do I go on about this if I seek help guys? Is there a specialist or are doctors qualified to help in this area? Should I say "I feel depressed, maybe there's some chemical imbalance doctor?"

    My mood fluctuates like the strand of a DNA, except mostly negative. fml guys

    [–]adam_varg 5 points6 points  (7 children)

    It goes like this for mild lethargy, depression, anxiety etc:

    1. Start with lifestyle change to healthy lifestyle, it takes years thats why point zero, 3-6 months in with big three on track (nutrition, sleep, exercise) start with point 1. OP forgot enough sleep, cutting of drugs and alcohol and porn.

    2. GP visit for basic health markers to rule out common health problems, fix if something wrong then next point

    3. Full micronutrients deficiencies check, fix and recheck two months in

    4. Hormonal panel profile and thorought healthcheck. Fix whats wrong.

    Above will take year minimum, propably two and more. Fixing your body after life of shitty lifestyle and habits takes time. Fixing problems found at point 3 takes months to years.

    If you are over 40-45 it will most propably end with TRT. If you are city dweller 25-40 it will propably end with TRT. If you are over 40-45 and can afford it mix in HGH. Sounds scary and it should be, but if you are smart about it you are not gonna regret that.

    [–]greatslyfer 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Thanks for the reply.

    A thing that I have to really dial in is my micronutrient intake.
    I've been focusing on the macros tracking but not on the micro, which is a key contributor to good health.

    Sleep is pretty much on point, a few times I don't wake up at the end of a circadian cycle but I always get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night.

    Exercise is on point, go gym 3 times a week and do boxing in between workout days.

    I'm willing to accept that it takes time, maybe even years, it's better than slowly rotting inside.

    I sometimes jack off, a few times with porn lul, is that really an important aspect of good health and generally good mood? I did NoFap for a week and meh I didn't really feel that much of a positive impact.

    Thanks for responding though, I really appreciate any help I can get.

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    What's your overall schedule like? Give me an average day.

    Do you notice patterns as to when you get depressed? Any specific things set you off?

    Any history of abuse/serious shit in the past?

    I've spent years battling both anxiety and depression; there is no one-size-fits all advice but, let me tell you, the moment I got to a health professional I felt a lot better.

    [–]greatslyfer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Right now I'm in an internship abroad, so am not doing gym/boxing stuff for now, until next month. I'll give an average day before I started this internship.

    I wake up, prepare oatmeal, eat apple, eat oatmeal. Put on contact lenses.

    On Tuesdays and Thursdays I would go to work until 12 cause it is part time and voluntary work.
    At work it's just me registering people by taking in their info and giving them a member card.

    Then I would go home, eat a combination of rice + meat and sometimes salad. After, I would take the doggie out for a walk that lasts for half an hour to an hour. Then I waste time on the internet, play League, watch videos, get my daily TRP dose (fuck yes guys). Eat a second lunch.

    Mom comes in, and she's usually not pleased with me. My memory is not so clear in this part. Maybe it's cause I didn't take out the clothes, or that I didn't do a task that she told me to do. It's not that much of a regular occurrence that we have a happy environment. Probably cause of me -.-

    Do you notice patterns as to when you get depressed? Any specific things set you off?

    I think not having any friends that I can just laugh around with and have a good time. God this is fucking depressing. Like it's been so fucking long since I would regularly laugh with a friend and not give a fuck about anything else. Like middle school long. I'm 22 now.
    Like I'm just miserable for the most part, sometimes I'm in a good mood to talk to people and it just clicks well. And other times I just can't connect, no matter how hard I try. Maybe it's a mental thing but I'm really not sure.
    A theory that I had was that maybe I just wasn't eating enough, and sometimes that rang true, but other times it didn't. Maybe my micros weren't at a healthy level, cause I just focus on macros for the most part. And even then maybe I wouldn't eat enough and that's why I would feel shit.

    Any history of abuse/serious shit in the past?

    Well I had a shit time socially in high school and kind of shit time in uni. I think that messed me up and just generally how I act around in social situations. I've always been tense around people, unless we really start talking and I start relaxing around them, maybe even have fun with them but that's a rarity these years. Yes, years, it's that fucking depressing. I also had a dickhead friend in uni who would pester me and stress/anger me for the 2 years that we were in the same dorm.

    Like yea, I really need to consult a health professional.

    [–]adam_varg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Man, you already done most of work.

    If you are in like this for atleast year already (it takes time for body to adjust) dont expect much improvement. Micros and supplements can help, its notable but not lifechanging enough. Same for meditation.

    I would start vitD3, B complex and magnesium immedietely. Most westerners arent at optimal levels, those who dont live near sea and/or cali and alike are even magnesium and vitD3 deficient. They work a bit, atleast from my experience, but its not miracle cure.

    Then blood labs and health checks. After you are clear, go to endocrinologist and get full hormone panel.

    How old are you?

    PS.: your porn/fap habits are good. Meaning this cant fuck up your hormones/wellbeing. That being said if you arent happy with your motivation to get chicks or bedroom perfomance, cutting porn + pornlike fantasies and limiting faps usually helps.

    PPS: TRT or any doses of juice will always up your energy, cut depressions letharhy anxiety, up confidence, animal in bed, stronger frame etc. Basically make you more RP. But its last measure and very bad idea before ~26yrs. If you go this route you need quality health care (aka not Doc who will prescribe without thinking twice) and self educate a lot (feel free to hit me up for good edu sources).

    [–]greatslyfer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm 22.

    Yea I know of the idea that if I have trouble getting motivated it's probably due to porn/excessive fapping, but for the most part that's not an issue and I have motivation.

    I'll start looking in to the vitD3 and other micronutrients that you mentioned.

    [–]NofearNohatred 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You would have to do nofap for at least one month's to feel the first positive side effects

    [–]JuanKuru 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    There is magic in action. Top drawer post. Step 4 is gold.

    [–]Raikkonen716 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Also, boost your testosterone production. Lift heavy, eat broccoli, nuts, spinach, and pumpkin seeds. Do cardio, do hiits. Testosterone do wonders for motivation.

    [–]the_architecht 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    In general, take action. Do something that is not just sitting on the computer. Even going for a walk or making food for yourself.

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for the quality content. This sub seems to really be getting into Marcus Aurelius

    [–]ffffffffffdddddsss 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    The most important part is you need to do it.Take action

    [–]lancer000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Only you can be the person that you want to be. -Yourself-

    [–]Cypher211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    One of the better posts I've read on here in a while, good stuff.

    [–]Random_Name_Dave 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    There are different types of depression. For most people, it is a temporary thing that can be addressed relatively easily. For others, depression is a behavior that has be chemically programmed into them starting in early childhood. From my understanding (as one of the latter groups) the topics in this post are helpful for everyone suffering from depression. I especially appreciate the end points that recognize some people (not most) need serious medical help.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe 10 points11 points  (25 children)

     

    (Step Seven) Remember You’re Going to Die

     

    Depression is the projection into the future of a fantasy based on negative emotions.

    Depression is mythmaking... illusion... a dream of one's own invention.

     

    By realizing the finite nature of life you can say things like:

     

    • "In the 50 useful years of health I have on earth what do I want to do?"

     

    Realize that 50 years is your maximum number of really healthy full strength years. I'm 56 years old and in very good shape for my age, but I know my body has declined a lot since 40. Up to 40 and you can't tell much difference between being 20.

    This means if you are 20 now you have only 20 years of "great health potential" left and if you miss that it's gone.

    So be motivated to "use it" before you "lose it".

    If you are 20 years old it's important to be in peak physical condition.

    There are few depressed people who are physically healthy unless they are doing the exercise for external validation.

     

    • No External Validation

     

    You are in shape because you know you only get 20 years of that.

    Be muscular and lean and look good and feel good and exclude external validation of your body.

    The external validation is the trap for many because it makes you needy and beta rather than the self centered mode needed for positive attitude.

    And definitely don't get into great shape just to impress the ladies.

     

    • Health feels good and defeats the depressed dreams.

     

    [–]Need2LickMuff 0 points1 point  (24 children)

    By realizing the finite nature of life you can say things like:

    • "In the 50 useful years of health I have on earth what do I want to do?"

    The only problem with this is that then a depressed person normally will go into crisis mode.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe -1 points0 points  (23 children)

    Why would that be?

    It means all the depressed visions of eternal suffering on this earth will eventually have to end.

    One then thinks "what the heck, I'm alive why not experience it more fully?"

    But I suppose who would want to experience life when they are imposing the fake suffering on it... hmmmm.. true.

     

    [–]Need2LickMuff 1 point2 points  (22 children)

    Depressed people don't think of the future, only of the past and what could have been. That's why they say they feel they're being dragged DOWN and call it an anchor.

    None think of the future unless it's to do with future suicide attempts.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe -2 points-1 points  (21 children)

    I've just never understood the depressed type.

    It "seems" like they must have been the type of children long ago that could manipulate their parents if they were acting depressed. From this pattern where "daddy and mommy love me and care about my feelz" the child learns that depression gains sympathy.

    But as adult males that's a stupid pattern because the world isn't your mommy and daddy and won't care for you.

    Women can act depressed and get actual results, but men can not.

    Probably something about single motherhood... mothers indulge all the worst patterns in children and likely encourage depressed behaviors and thinking patterns.

     

    [–]Need2LickMuff 4 points5 points  (14 children)

    You're pontificating about a subject you know nothing about, bruh.

    You don't understand what it's like because you more than likely grew up in stability. Nobody is seeking attention when they're depressed; Depression is more than just feeling sad, it's feeling crippled to the point where getting out of bed can be a physical impossibility and self-loathing is crippling to the point where you either think about killing yourself regularly or you just do it.

    It has nothing to do with being an entitled brat who learned to cry and didn't grow out of that phase. Depressed people aren't manchildren, or looking for a free ride. They're looking to die or wait until they die. You're injecting your hatred for women into your opinion, and where single motherhood may produce depressed children, plenty of people raised in a nuclear household/single father household can become depressed too (not to mention they can be born with it).

    I'll never understand why Americans have such a lack of understanding/belief in the existence of mental disorders.

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'll never understand why Americans have such a lack of understanding/belief in the existence of mental disorders.

    It's getting a lot better honestly. There's a lot more outreach/resources now although even with decent insurance it can be hard to find a good mental health provider.

    Americans hate weakness. Many are very quick to assume you're lazy or looking for pity.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (12 children)

    Yeah it's because I reject the psychology profession as made up bullshit.

    Actually it's Mind Control.

    A long subject...

    You might gain clues here:

    http://www.gnosticmedia.com

     

    [–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 2 points3 points  (11 children)

    I reject the psychology profession as made up bullshit

    How about Thorah, numerology, demonology and other "ancient hidden esoteric wisdom"?

    [–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (10 children)

    Psychology is 50 years old.

    50 years.

    Let that sink in...

    Would you rather think for yourself or "believe" some whacky psychology theory?

    I'll stick to the Trivium Method and the discipline it demands.

     

    [–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 2 points3 points  (9 children)

    Spaceflight is 50 years old too. Discounting something solely on the basis of age is a fallacy.

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    There's nothing to understand from a healthy point of view because it's usually not a purposeful way of living/feeling.

    Who wakes up and says "I want to be a depressed, miserable piece of shit?" It's an illness.

    I have episodic depression; medication and therapy does nothing for me. I don't have self-esteem issues, I grew up in a stable household with loving parents, never been severely traumatized, etc.

    Some days I wake up and I want to kill myself. I see black. I can't think. It's not a choice, it's an affliction I didn't ask for and one I wouldn't be able to understand if I didn't personally feel it.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Well, technically you have been programmed to believe it's an actual illness.

    My guess is it's actually not.

    Psychology has been pushed hard by the Blue Pill programming as "real" but it's really a phony religion of sorts.

    Get into better philosophies like the Trivium Method and stoic thinking and you will realize that most psychology is absolute bullshit.

    And I know this well because my own mother got a degree in psychology later in life and I've read a lot of the books they use.

    Just get out of that fucked up mindset.

    And get off all medications that's just poison.

     

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    I hope you don't offer advice to people IRL.

    [–]NeoreactionSafe -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

     

    If people want to believe they are free to do so.

    I'm not in a position to think for others.

    As always... use the Trivium Method to be Red Pill... "Think for Yourself".

    My advice is given when asked.

     

    [–]MostHatedPhilosopher 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Dude I read your Trivium summary. You put remarkably little work into understanding the actual material; you took something good and reduced it to incomprehensible buzz-talk. You remind me of every freshman philosophy student that reads the foreword to a Intro to Aristotle book and thinks he understands everything (they also mention psychology being bullshit).

    And I know this well because my own mother got a degree in psychology later in life and I've read a lot of the books they use.

    And guess what--my doctor went to medical school. Not as impressive as reading your mother's old psychology books but I take what I can get.

    You should pick up some Socrates. He talks a lot about Sophists.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I don't save TRP posts (for obvious reasons). This got saved.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My last account (5 years) was compromised by a chick that decided to help herself to my computer. I don't think she found any TRP shit, but she created a reddit account and added me as a friend. I didn't even know that was a fucking thing.

      [–]jamesbwbevis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Sounds a lot like mt ATM, and I just don't care. dont care about life, it's pointless waste of time if you're an average/below average person like I am. Its not worth the effort.

      [–]Kalepsis 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Also try a low-carb diet like keto.

      [–]Trumeau 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Vouching for traveling solo. It's basically living your own little adventure and depending on the choices you make can either be a theme park ride or a thriller. I've had both and have never came back the same person.

      I want to go again. If only because I have nothing else worth living for.

      [–]rigbed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Heavy lifting can be your own body weight too.

      [–]moehrse 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Good post, I came here to mention neurotransmitters optimalization, because that's the key to feeling good and perform on high level and I am glad to see you mentioned vit D and serotonin. Take the Braverman's test to see which transmitter is your dominant one, which one you are lacking the most and what to add to your nutrition to be in balance.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I had a look at it. There's a reason psychology is considered a "soft science." Like astrology, the results of the Braverman are just vague enough to be common to just about everyone who chooses to see themselves a certain way. Anybody who has elevated levels of any of those chemicals at any given point in time will experience those reactions and those dumps will result from the external experience not the experience resulting from the chemical dump.

      It's kind of like saying fight/flight is going to produce a life-threatening scenario rather than a life-threatening scenario inducing fight/flight response. It's putting the cart before the horse.

      [–]beta_no_mo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good actions bring good feelings. Not the other way around.

      [–]beerbaron105 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is a phenomenal post. Thank you OP

      [–]returnofthequack 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Be a stranger. Stagnate on that tropical island watching the men unload fruit, it will teach you that you are stir crazy, a restless man whose problems aren’t real, that your issues all arise like phantoms from a mind that makes it impossible to sit quietly in a hammock all day. Walk through an East Asian village, let it teach you that you have always felt like an awkward outsider who everyone really is staring at, like a person on the edge of some great warm campfire of humanity that you have never been invited into somehow.

      Dude. Wow. Poignant and beautifully written.

      [–]prostaddict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Great post. I especially want to applaud you on your final point. I've lived in my current city my entire life. Back in fall, I went on a trip to Hong Kong. I never felt more of a sense of bliss and confidence than when I was there - I fell in love with the city. When I got back home I realized wow - I don't miss this place or anyone in it. It immediately made me realize I needed to get the hell out of here. It's a thought I was flirting with for a while, but that trip did it for me. It's scary, but I know it's what needs to be done

      [–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      step 7 - most important one. from 23 to 30, time flew by like you wouldn't believe it. from 30-35 it really felt like a couple months. its only gonna get worse. so all you young bucks in your 21's thinking you got plenty of time - you don't. before you know it you'll be 40 and look back thinking what the fuck happened to the last 20 years. i remember clear as day my high school graduation in 2000 and it still feels like last year.

      make the best use of your time on this earth. don't waste it on bullshit or bullshit people. your girlfriend is giving you grief? dump her ass, go live your life. your friends are idiots? fuck em, go live your life. don't know what to do with yourself? draw a straw and go do that. it literally beats doing nothing.

      another thing, try to change your attitude towards situations and find at least one or two positive things about them because in the end you learn from everything that happens to you, and that's a good thing. i've had shit ass jobs back in the day and used to be frustrated and hated them. now, looking back, i analyze that time and i realize that i've learned a ton from each one of those shitty jobs and am actually thankful for the experience in part.

      don't waste your time.

      [–]RedditUch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Gold one. Saving this post for constant reference!

      [–]bench250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Great post. If I had too add, yoga and mediation has helped me HEAPS. Now I must confess I would have never had the motivation to take it up if I haven't taken LSD, lol.

      [–]Knochey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Wow it feels so right to read that. Thank you for writing down this post and make me more motivated.

      Im realy new to TRP and after all the posts i readed i can tell that your post is the one who inspired me the best.

      Please don't stop writing down your experiences :)

      [–]peacemakerzzz 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      It's hard not to be depressed when you know that life has no purpose, and is using experiences as a means to enjoy existence. I'm sick of my office job, and going flat broke alone.

      [–]1OneRedYear 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      If money were no object what would you do with your life? Go do that. If it means somethbing that will make you broke, how is that different from now? At least you will be broke and doing what you want. Shake up your existence.

      I have a shitty office job. If money were no issue I would be a filmmaker. Guess what? Bought a DSLR, making short films with friends. The shitty office job pays for it all. I give less fucks at work, happier overall, coworkers notice and we get along better. I still hate my my weasel boss, but I don't care about him or his shit any more. Go do you.

      [–]peacemakerzzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah, I get the point. Money is just a means to enjoy the leisures in this world that we're in. Problem is, the experiences that I want in life require an amount of money, such as traveling and creating my own fashion industry. Even on a smaller ratio, I'd love to travel even just on a national scale. I'd love to make a fashion label also on a national scale. Despite the large/small ratio, both require money. I just resigned from work because I was not happy with what I was doing. Now I am unemployed and forcing myself to get sucked in the system of corporate humanization in order to earn money, so in the long run money should work for me.

      Life definitely is not easy. I was not aware of this reality when we were sheltered by our parents, growing up in high school and college. Upon graduation, we're thrown into this actual reality that is the real world.

      [–]Mckallidon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I just go over nofap for some giggles and I'm good.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      skimmed over some of the points.. excited to read through looks like a good post

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      very nice, Thank You!

      Just a word of caution (although you allready mentioned it yourself), step seven can go to deep philosophy and has the potential to backfire (whats the point of living if we all gonna die?). Its a very nice step that in the best case sometime clear up a mind of useless trifles but to a deeply depressed mind, this can be like the final nail into the coffin. I would say, try the other steps first and this one when you allready have some success to cling on to.

      But I digress, the only problem with this list is, the pain that I feel how easy those steps really are and how hard I make it for myself.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I have a question for the esteemed gentlemen here.

      I see Porn listed among Alcohol, Drugs and other bad habits. Can anybody tell me why? and what dosage? Is any porn bad or is there a threshold?

      This is a serious question because the other bad habits like drugs have done a lot to deserve the bad reputation and I would like to know how porn "deserves" the honor to be called in the same sentence.

      [–]HaasonHeist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Every single fucking step in this post. I have dreamed of accomplishing even just one of them, however this 'depression' or whatever seems to be keeping me from giving enough of a fuck to actually do it.

      I am going to print this out, and read the whole thing once a week. My psychologist from a year ago told me that going to the gym is one of the best things you can do to relieve depression, and feel motivated to do the things you've always wanted to do. And it worked, 100%.

      After suffering a minor shoulder injury I wimped out, and stopped working out. Now, the depression is back in full force. Tomorrow I am going to the gym.

      And I will stop making excuses as to why I "can't" do the stuff I want to do every day.

      Thank you for posting this.

      [–]boboliboliobli 0 points1 point  (8 children)

      This Reddit app won't let me send PMs. Don't you fucking love how they're more concerned with removing CSS completely than making this app fully functional? Anyway great post, and I am a long time Amazon prime subscriber who leaves reviews so.. please may I have a free PDF for review? Thanks.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorthelandofdreams[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

      Sure but I'll need some kind of email address.

      [–]boboliboliobli 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      hey, did you ever end up sending me your book? 5* review coming your way buddy :*

      [–]Endorsed Contributorthelandofdreams[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      I need your email addy. Did you send it to me? Don't think I have it.

      [–]boboliboliobli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Surely. [email protected] i suggest copypasting cuz it's a toung twista lol

      [–]clavabot 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Im a student, can I cop a free ebook also?

      [–]Endorsed Contributorthelandofdreams[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Sure, but you have to leave a review.

      What's your email?

      [–]Throwaway6820471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I feel empty for someone my age (20) who is in college and has the world grabbed by the sack.

      My primordial desire is to join the military. It's just something about the military that is respected, validated and feel like I can get away from the bullshit of beta life. It was always something I wanted to do, and still can do.

      But first comes to first, I have to get my Associates degree and decide a military path or a bachelor degree path.

      [–]pmfg10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm thinking about going to a psychiatrist because I noticed a lot of symptomps of bipolar disease type II. I think I have a lot of that alpha confidence when I'm in my highs but I barely can get out of my bed and just stay in my laptop doing useless things when I'm in my lows.

      Last year by this time I felt terrible about myself, joined the gym and started eating well, dropped from 96 to 90 kgs and was feeling better about myself but I started to feel like shit and stopped going as often. I kept gaining weight because I couldn't go to my gym (I'm at university and working part-time and my local gym didn't have a schedule that allowed me to keep going) and I'm at around the same weight and I hate it

      Now I'm looking for gyms to go but I'm afraid that in a few weeks or months I just get down on myself and I can't find the strength to keep going.

      [–]DoYouThinkYouAreYou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Step 0: Get a job. Proceed to step 1.

      [–]Redasshole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Quit compulsive fapping and quit porn.

      If you spend hours fapping to porn every day it's sure to take all your energy and motivation away.

      [–]Mr_Talent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good post.

      I'm not much of a depressive person. I always said that depression is the sickness of those who are doing nothing, which of course isn't true, but it's also not completely stupid. If you are busy all the time, you don't even have time to be depressed.

      That being said, I find myself being a bit depressed lately. Not even 3 months ago I broke up a 7 years LTR. I must say I miss having someone I really like.

      In the meantime I have dated a few girls, only had sex with 2, and I even developed oneitis for one chick I didn't even fucked.

      Discovering TRP (about 4 months ago) has opened my eyes. In some ways I have always been kind of alpha, but in others, such as interacting with women, I had and still have a lot to improve. I do recognize the value and truth in TRP but I will be honest I don't think I like very much the person I'm becoming. More and more I'm becoming this guy who sees women for what they really are and that makes me despise them. That reflects in the way I think and talk which I'm not even self-aware sometimes. Just a few days ago I posted on askseddit, looking for advice on how to get a chick... those guys shredded me! They are correct in some sense. For people not on TRP my language could definitely be considered shocking.

      Your 10 list steps is something I follow very closely, yet it doesn't feel the void. I think I'm trapped on this loop where if I'm with someone I quickly get bored and need time for myself. If I'm alone and have time for myself, I lack motivation to do anything and spend all my efforts chasing pussy until I settle for someone "special".

      Anyway, addressing your 10 points:

      1) Dance classes 4x/week, Gym 5x/week, Cinema, Reading. These last 2 I should do every day, but I'm falling.

      2) Never did it. Thought about doing it a couple of times though.

      3) Lift and Swim. Gym 5x/week. 3 Lifting, 2 Swimming.

      4) Not even 6 months ago did this. Travelled 26 days to Thailand alone. Great experience, although sometimes I felt really lonely.

      5) I'm doing this now. The problem with having no expectations is that I also don't put effort. I literally have too much of not giving a fuck attitude. Worked better when I did give a fuck.

      6) I will follow your advice on this and start writing that on a piece of paper every day and cross them.

      7) I do, often (not every day often) and doesn't help. On the contrary it makes me think how meaningless every life is.

      8) This I don't do. I don't like camping. I like comfort. I could certainly go 15 days on a program "surviver" style but it would be a sacrifice. I wouldn't enjoy it at all.

      9) Have done this already. By 25 I quitted my job and moved to a new country. More than 2 years later I'm about to make another big change. Let's see how that goes.

      10) Honestly, no. I feel the same.

      [–]beowulfpt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Great read, great match. This should be reposted often.

      [–]burnyr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Was really looking forward to reading this post as soon as I saw the title, but, apart from lifting it seems none of this is for me.

      [–]maximoto1337 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)