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Red Pill TheoryYou should ghost women who have cheated on you (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by lanky32

If a woman you have been in a relation with cheats on you, what's your best bet to come out of it not feeling like a cuck and a loser?

There are 3 options. Let's examine them, one by one.

The first option is what men without abundance tend to do.

And that is pleading with her. Requesting her to come back because you are such a great guy and you'll do anything to make her happy. We all know how this ends. Its not even a real option.

What about the second option? The option of confronting her? Confronting her with irrefutable evidence that she was in the wrong? Gathering proof and presenting it to her? What would she do then, she will have to accept her fault, right? And that would put her on the defensive, right?

Maybe. But it's more likely that she will twist your arguments against you and still not accept ownership for her actions.

For example, if you logged into her FB, Whatsapp etc. to gather evidence she will shame you that you spied on her.She will put a post on social media on how trust is important for relationship and the entire social media will egg her on.

She will insist that she was only chatting with/ speaking with or partying with friends of the opposite sex and she had no physical contact with them . She will lash out at you saying that you are an insecure prick.

Thing is she will do anything to not take ownership and blame you for the breakup instead.

99 times out of 100 she will find a way to put the blame on you. Her hamster would be satisfied that it did the right thing by breaking up with you because you were such an insecure prick/jealous boyfriend etc. Between the two of you, she would still be the one with the upper hand.

But there is a third option that will nuke her hamster.

She will have no defense against because it gives her nothing to play with. And that is ghosting her. No calls, no texts, no answers. Its like you have fallen off from the face of the earth. Any and all attempts by her are met with stone cold silence. She is dead to you . She can do anything she wants to but she doesn't ever get a response or a reaction from you.

Let's examine how this can nuke her hamster and send it into absolute delirium. If you want revenge, ghosting is the way to do it. If you don't want to take revenge but just kill oneitis, this is still the way to do it.

Ghosting is cold, calculated and efficient for you and kryptonite for her hamster.

Why ghost?

Because ghosting gives her nothing to play with, she won't be able to arrive at a conclusion because there would be no data to help her reach one.

'Why is he not answering my calls? He's not even answering my texts. Why is he doing it to me? But I was the best gf to him.

No, wait, did he find out that I was cheating? But it was a one night stand anyway. Nothing serious. Is he going to tell everyone now? Will he spoil my reputation? Fuck.

Did he find a better looking girl? What a douche! He should at least have had the decency to tell me. He is such a misogynist..

Oh no, I think he switched jobs. Did he get a better job? Maybe he has started earning more and found a girl in his new workplace . Fuck. Did he move to another state? Is he dead?

Give me an answer, someone give me an answer. Fuck, fuck fuck, my head feels so heavy now, I am going mad. Fuck, why does it always happen with me, why God why?'

Sometimes, you do too much to win when the best to way to win is by doing nothing.

Do nothing, cut all contact and see how you win. Revenge is a dish best served cold and ghosting is the way to dish out revenge on a cheating ho.

If you don't want revenge, this is still the best thing to do. Why would you explain the reasons for breaking up to a woman who has breached your trust, who has no respect for you?

In fact, it does not matter whether you see ghosting as revenge or not. Cutting off contact helps you in freeing your mind from her thoughts and that is what is required for you to move forward.

Ghosting is very effective in pushing her out of your mind, even if that's not the reason why you first started doing it.

To many of us she appears attractive because she isn't giving us her time of day. Ghosting reverses the dynamic. Instead of acting as if she were above you, she starts craving and begging for your attention and because you don't give it to her, she tries even harder, her worth drops in your eyes, you start seeing her flaws, she isn't the unattainable goddess anymore. She falls off the pedestal and your mind breaks free from her shackles.

It's a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

Highly recommended for all lovestruck betas stuck in one-sided love.


[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 514 points515 points  (63 children)

You should ghost them not for revenge, but to remove them from your mind, so that you can focus on the next girl.

By thinking about her hamster and reactions, you're still giving her attention in your mind, and that is of no benefit to you.

[–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (34 children)

I don't know what this sub has against revenge.

Revenge feels awesome, revenge teaches lessons, revenge burns bridges best burnt, revenge shows a precident for others to see so you're less likely to be fucked with in the future, etc. Revenge is a display of dominance.

Some say it's immasculine. Some say it's petty. I think what's immasculine is to try and control your emotions and pretend you're not getting revenge... When you've grown and you no longer feel the need to get revenge then so be it, but in the meantime enjoy it. Get high on it. You've earned it.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

You explained it perfectly. Nothing in there was for your benefit but the feelz.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Same reason I nut in a girl's mouth. It feels awesome.

[–]RedPillLawyer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Anger and disappointment is fine. If you seek revenge, you're still allowing her to inhabit your mind. Escaping those familiar clutches means letting go completely, including your arguably just desire for revenge.

[–]lodro 18 points19 points  (2 children)

It really depends on the situation and how it's done. I think the sub is anti-revenge in part because a lot of guys have experience of how not to do revenge and little context for well executed, appropriate revenge (which is rare).

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]lodro 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Usually goes something like "you did x z y and that was bad and it hurt me bla bla cry cry" and she's just annoyed that 6 weeks later you're still talking to her. Haha.

    [–]Returnofthemack3 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Eh, and revenge can backfire terribly. It's usually not worth it. There's a reason 'taking the high road' is considered a virtue, and it's not just because 'it feels right'. Revenge often has unintended consequences

    [–]FrakkenKrakken 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Revenge keeps you from moving on. It makes you think about the situation far more than you otherwise would. It keeps your mind in an angry state far to long and you remain angry about the situation even after the revenge is carried. The delusion is that you take revenge because you think it will make you feel better and the truth is it doesn't really make you feel that much better because it doesn't actually change what really happened.

    [–]bohemian_fappsody 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    The point here is not that one shouldn't have his revenge, but rather, that ghosting is the most potent form of revenge. It's what women fear the most. Reactionary revenge might be more satisfying in the moment - and if a guy has no control over his emotions and actions, so be it - but there's truth in the saying, "revenge is a dish best served cold." Nothing colder than ghosting a girl. Everything else you do to her teaches her you still care.

    [–]iHasABaseball 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    When you've grown and you no longer feel the need to get revenge

    You just addressed your questions.

    "Growing" in any respect doesn't happen by some magic twist of fate. It's a conscious effort. In this case, an effort to train your mind. You'll never grow out of anything as an adult unless you make the effort to do so.

    It's like saying you'll just grow into having huge biceps. You won't unless you put in the effort at the gym and in the kitchen. By the same token, you're not going to just grow into a better mind. The brain requires exercise and training as much as most parts of your body to function optimally.

    [–]vagbutters 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I don't know what this sub has against revenge.

    Because some people here think that it's part of the "anger" phase which is silly, really. Revenge against sluts is great, and it's a lynchpin of successful RP societies in the same vein as slut shaming.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Getting revenge means the girl is still important to you.

    Is that what you're trying to communicate?

    If so, then go ahead, plan and execute your revenge scheme.

    She'll love the fact that you took the trouble, because that means she made a big impression on your life and bruised your ego hard enough for you to still think about her when she's done fucking you.

    tl,dr: revenge is counterproductive

    [–]smokecheck1976 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Because revenge requires an element of hatred and anger. Allowing either one of these two much sway will burn you. Set aside your feelings and look at it objectively. Even if you do want to confront someone that is cheating, keep it short and matter of fact, (you, cheated, I have evidence, we are done) and nothing more, that way she has nothing to bite on and doesn't dare try anything in case you do have proof.

    [–]PopeJamal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    If you feel you need to get revenge on a woman who cheated, you probably weren't in the right mindset to begin with. Revenge is not a display of dominance.

    If you were playing a board game with a child, would you feel the need to get "revenge" on them for playing a successful round? Do you feel the need to get "revenge" on your dog for eating your sandwich while you went to go get a beer? You shouldn't, because you should not feel threatened into needing to make a display of dominance.

    All these tips sound like revenge because they're all focused on making her suffer. All you need to do is tell her what she did that was unacceptable and either downgrade her from top spot down to the bottom of your list or cut her off completely, whichever you prefer. Why waste that energy on something that happened in the past when you can be using it to make something better happen in the future?

    [–]Elohirnok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I believe there is a saying about that, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Admittedly not actually a Confucius quote.

    [–]lanky32[S] 41 points42 points  (13 children)

    Whatever the reason, you start ghosting her for, in the end it helps you in ridding your mind from her clutches. And that's the beauty of ghosting.

    To many of us she appears attractive because she isn't giving us the time of day. Ghosting reverses the dynamic. Instead of acting as if she were above you, she starts craving and begging for your attention and because you don't give it to her, she tries even harder, her worth drops in your eyes, you start seeing all her flaws, she isn't the unattainable goddess anymore. She falls off the pedestal and your mind breaks free from her shackles.

    Its a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

    In the end, it enables you in getting her out of your mind, even if that was not your objective why you started ghosting her in the first place.

    [–]PawnToKing 36 points37 points  (2 children)

    Did you just repost what you said in your post verbatim as a comment? Lmao, I mean I like this post, but that's just weird..

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]Returnofthemack3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      i'll go one further and say that ghosting mutual friends who hang with her a lot is also beneficial. Sometimes it sucks to make a sacrifice like that, assuming you like the mutual friend that is, but it's definitely worth it in the long run. Obviously you shouldn't burn bridges needlessly, but if someone is constantly posting pictures with her, it can hinder your healing process

      [–]AncientScrolls 5 points6 points  (8 children)

      Whenever i got mad at something one of my plates did i did the exactly same thing. I started to give them silence treatment and it was the best way to make them submissive and afraid of me. Simply because the silence is one of the most powerful weapons ever. They have no clue why you are ignoring them this makes them paranoid and their imagination starts running wild looking for answers. Its a good strategy to do at least for some time whether you are upset with a girl or friend about something. They always come back crawling and trying to be way nicer than ever since they have no idea what and why you're treating them like this.

      [–]krotch_vilense 22 points23 points  (6 children)

      Seems like a passive aggressive bitch move to me, like throwing a tantrum everytime someone does something you don't like. It really isn't ghosting if you still plan on keeping contact after you get your way. Any woman worth a damn wouldn't mess with that kid shit. Low hanging fruit though, by all means, have at it.

      Edit: Just read the comment again and realized you ghost your friends as well. You can't go doing that all the time if you want to maintain quality friendships. Good things aren't built on fear and paranoia.

      [–]-voteforPepe- 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Don't know why you're being downvoted. The guy is seriously missing he point. "Silent treatment" is bitch shit, it's the opposite of abundance mentality if you just temporarily ghost her to modify her behavior so you can continue to be with her. It's passive aggressive and feminine behavior if you're just trying to make her "figure it out" and come "crawling back." The OP is talking about totally disconnecting from her for good. I do agree with cutting ties if necessary and standing on your principles, however I do think you should give a simple statement about the reason why.
       
      I saw your messages with _______ on Snapchat, so for obvious reasons you aren't coming over tonight, or at all in the future. Don't call me any more.  
       

      OP said that playing on the radio silence would get the most out of the situation but in my opinion: either you're ok with her riding the cock carousel or you're not. I think any good man should clearly define his intentions and stick to his principles. That doesn't mean you should argue with her about it (you shouldn't) or discuss it any further (also no). There is no good reason to argue with a woman about anything; women can argue amongst themselves but not with me. Would you argue with a child about one of their transgressions?

      [–]krotch_vilense 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Agreed. Be brief and to the point if you're done, no games.

      [–]2dogsandpizza 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      Can't believe this has been up voted. If you're suggesting arguing with a woman is better than playing mind games with her then you are wrong and need to revisit the principles of trp. Ghosting, even temporarily, says more to a woman than words ever will.

      [–]AncientScrolls 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Exactly i find it funny that a lot of people downvoted me for telling how silence treatment works way better than arguing with anyone. People use it all the time in corporations or military. Bosses do it all the time to make their subordinates or soldiers fear them and do their best and work harder. Robert Cialdini and other sociologistd even suggest use those strategies in your relationships and workplace.

      If people here think that trying to argue with a women is going to win them to their side they seriously need to check if they really swallowed the redpill in the first place at all. You can never try to argue with them they are emotional creatures it will only make you look weak in their eyes.

      [–]krotch_vilense 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good military leaders don't use this technique.

      [–]AncientScrolls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Sometimes arguing is useless believe it or not. You cant try to win a woman by arguing with rationality. Woman are emotional creatures they will never be able to understand things logically. Sure you can try to argue with her but it will probably end up with her thinking you lost your frame and she will think that she was able to press your buttons or it will end up with a lot of emotional drama. From my experience its much better to not talk back at all and just cut ties permanently or temporary. If you try to argue with them you will probably only end up giving her more ammo to use against you in the future just like OP said in the post and i can confirm from my life experience.

      Most of the girls and friends that came crawling back to me trying to make things "right" between us again were the ones that i just distanced myself away from them and gave then a degree of silence treatment for some time. Believe me or not but from my experience sometimes arguing and telling what's the problem upfront can end up damaging some friendships and relationships forever, especially with women, since girls are more emotional than us. But there are also man who arent manly enough to handle the truth without bitching.

      [–]whythecynic 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Agreed that moving on is still the ultimate and best goal you could have.

      Still, as an Aristotelian I'd say that the visceral satisfaction of well-deserved revenge is a good thing. It is right and proper to take satisfaction in doing the right thing, as long as you're not doing the right thing purely for that satisfaction.

      [–]vagbutters 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      This is the most important part of abundance mentality. The fact is, if you're fit, have an ounce of game, and dress well, you can get as many top-tier sluts as you want.

      If you don't have this, then you have beta traits that you need to get rid of, as they will keep telling you "stay with her! She's the one pussy you know that you've gotten in the past, so your chances to get her back are good!"

      [–]Altkolsch 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Here is what I do to free my mind, not for revenge, but to focus on the next.

      I have a contact in my phone called ignore. This contact is blocked from receiving texts or calls. I add her number to this contact and delete her contact that has her name.Examples of other numbers in this contact include telemarketers. This takes away the temptation to answer when she calls or texts and also keeps you from reaching out when you feel weak.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Different techniques to the same end.

      [–]kamwren 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You should ghost them not for revenge

      But out of respect. If she's not into you 100%, it means she's not enthusiastically consenting to your love, so you have to completely pull out and go away.

      [–]-ATLAS-_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Or ghost them for all reasons. Just no matter what side of your brain you're in, ghosting is the answer. But the article was still good for breaking down every last reason someone's brain might make to convince themselves to not ghost.

      It's in those moments of weakness that the reasons become important, and in moments of strength that our concern just didn't include that person in any way anymore. Good strategies motivate with both carrots and sticks, both in weakness and in strength.

      [–]causeandcorrelation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      As always with TRP; these 'techniques' are actually the reasonable behaviours of a Man with options and a deeply internalised sense of self value. The utility of ghosting is simply an excersice in investing ones emotional energy productively.

      [–]ForgotUserID 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Ghosting the same as no contact?

      [–]slay_it_forward 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      No, ghosting is when you dress up like a ghost and lurk around her home late at night.

      No contact means cutting off all contact.

      [–]Sal6826 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I can confirm this

      Had a girl in high school that I chased for 2 years. We were best friends with a palpable sexual tension. She had always gone for older guys but I eventually broke through and got her to sleep with me. Now that I had slept with her the next logical step (atleast in my head) was to make her my gf but she said she didn't feel that way about me. I told her that I couldn't handle just being friends with her because we were clearly past that. She ended up sleeping with the school douche bag (an Eminem Wangster-looking wannabe, the dude literally had grillz) at a party that weekend. As soon as I found this out I cut off all contact with her at once, no warning, no reason, ghost. This drove her fucking insane! The script was completely flipped. She was now pursuing me frantically because I was no longer under her spell. I ignored her calls, texts, her pleas in person, her pleas through friends, gave her no slither of hope. She called me 60 times back to back one night, leaving me over ten voicemails each one more pathetic then the last.

      Don't look at it as revenge, the way I see it, it's justice. This girl played me for over 2 years, I destroyed her in 1 week by doing nothing. Listen to the OP he knows what's up.

      [–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (7 children)

      This. I had a gf of 3 years who cheated, with my (ex) best mate. I had a strong suspicion based on their behaviours that night but got staunch denial from her. 3 months later, out of the blue, he came clean and told me everything, I got every detail from him then calmly confronted her again about the night and if anything happened, wording it all so that she would be blatantly lying or brutally honest every time she answered, sure enough she lied, I told her I knew everything and he told me, suddenly I'm the bad guy and I shouldn't be setting her up in such a way bla bla bla.

      Threw her shit out the front and didn't answer any communication from her for 2 years. It pissed her off to no end that I ghosted her.

      Bonus ending - she begged me to met up in a motel for sexy time about 2.5 years after, she told me she broke it off with her current bf which I knew was bullshit so I sent him the texts of her begging to meet up for sex and told her what room I was in for her to only find him sitting there waiting for her.

      [–]czatara 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Perfect man, who said that ghosting and revenge have to be mutually exclusive?

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I'm not one to exact revenge but I felt that was appropriate.

      [–]crazypolitics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This was well done mate, now that's how you ghost and revenge

      [–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (9 children)

      If this is in reference a LTR with any sort of merit, truly ghosting is probably going to be difficult to do. She's just gonna show up at your place or somewhere you'll be and it'll be really weird for you to just cold shoulder it face to face in an effort to ghost then.

      I also think you'd need irrefutable evidence that she was taking some dick for this to be advisable.

      Just my thoughts.

      [–]lanky32[S] 27 points28 points  (5 children)

      The idea is not to explain to her what she did wrong, as far as possible.

      If it's very difficult, just tell her that it's not working out without specifying her the reason. If she insists, repeat the line like a broken record.

      [–]Cunt_Robber 31 points32 points  (4 children)

      If you have irrefutable evidence, she deserves total, abrupt ghosting. Let her waste her time ringing the doorbell or stalking you. If you're close with her parents just tell them she cheated and that it's over. The only case where you couldn't ghost/next is if you live together. In that case, you get a little taste of what a divorce might cost you, time/money/energy-wise.

      [–]Thizzlebot 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      The only case where you couldn't ghost/next is if you live together.

      The answer to that one is : DON'T LIVE TOGETHER.

      [–]Cunt_Robber 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Elementary, my dear watson

      [–]syf3r 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      let me add to record evidence of her attempts to contact you... in case you need it legally

      [–]Cunt_Robber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Oh yea. Def save the texts/tinder chats/etc. This is what we have to do now to protect our innocence...

      [–]sd4c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Taking some dick isn't the only form of cheating. In most relationships sexting would be cheating and enough to break up over. In others, meeting up with another man alone, even just for coffee, would be.

      [–]TooMuchToDoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I agree that ghosting is an incredibly tough thing to do with any LTR that has merit. Been there, done that. It was just as hard as you say it is. But I disagree with you on your thought that ghosting is used mainly when you have hard evidence of her cheating. I don't think it's the only instance where you should use it. In my case, she wasn't cheating at all-- she was everything that I was looking for in an LTR. However, my friends brought to light that she was not nearly as nice to me as she was to other people. Trusting my friends, I broke it off. As much as she wanted to say how much of a bad person I was for breaking it off, there was nothing she could say that would justify in her head why I did so. It made my life much easier because I wasn't arguing with her as to why I chose to break it off.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I only meant ghosting in reference to cheating. As in, if you just had a hunch, I believe ghosting would be ill-advised because it could just be your own insecurities. I'm all for ghosting a cheater if you're 100% she's cheating, but as I said, would be tough to pull off.

      As for other reasons.....like her not being as nice to you as others....I'm not sure I agree. If you want to break up with her for it, no issues there. But does she deserve ghosting over relationship problems? Not so sure I'm on board with that.

      I know I know, many chicks wouldn't think twice before branch swinging and ghosting / feeding you bull shit about being stressed out and other trademark malarkey instead of telling you the truth about not being into you anymore because you began to bore her BUT isn't that what makes us better men, that we don't dabble in bull shit in regards to our relationships?

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]ATrashMan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Because emotions and chemicals get involved - the reason why you are ghosting is less important than the fact you are doing what is needed to be done.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]aDrunkenWhaler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Just make sure she's gagged and tied up so she can't turn. Once you go to jail, you'll have a good story to tell.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 56 points57 points  (4 children)

      She cheats because she's done with you.

      Relevant: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/24/please-breakup-with-me/

      This makes "option 3" the only one.

      "Option 2" is actually living in woman's frame and is very dangerous to men, no matter how strong is their frame. You look through her FB and you find things you aren't supposed to find or know or whatever. Don't do that.

      "Option 1" - you can as well buy some lube and a strap on and suggest that you can suck her boyfriend's dick while she pegs you.

      Solid post bro. I hope you even lift.

      [–]lanky32[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

      "Option 1" - you can as well buy some lube and a strap on and suggest that you can suck her boyfriend's dick while she pegs you.

      You are funny.

      Sadly, some men do this, don't they.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      What can I say?

      See my post history.

      BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

      Maybe not exactly that, but basically that.

      Most of valuable, developed dues around are where they are because they fucked up. And, they did not give up.

      Basically, that's what I do now. For a living.

      [–]srkjfone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Perfect and well said. "They did not give up."

      [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      She cheats because she's done with you.

      She's done with seeing you as alpha. Your commitment and resources are still welcome though, and this is the dynamic most men fail to understand.

      She's "trying to work it out", so she "must still love me". All that crap. Endless hamstering on both sides for what amounts to simply AF/BB.

      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      I read on here or somewhere "Your silence will say more than you ever could". This advice ties in as well with "The best revenge is living well"

      Inside you could be angry, sad, crying, screaming... whatever. Outwardly it is cold and calm. Your life will go one she doesnt see any of the fallout, just you moving on and being happy without her.

      People on here talk about revenge fantasies all the time. About gaining 400lbs of muscle and a million dollars then fucking their one itis who blew them off and then giving her the heisman on the way out the door, but in real life revenge is subtle. It is her bumping into you 4 years later at a coffee shop or at a party and asking what happened. Its you deleting a friend request that shows up one night at 3am. It is subtle, it doesnt say what you WANT it to say, it will say what you need it to say.

      I agree with this 100 percent. If I am ever in that situation in my life again I will do this, and be happier for it.

      [–]thebrandedman 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      This kinda sounds like a sketch done by Christopher Titus. "How to destroy a comedian".

      -Sit in the front row.

      -Don't heckle, they'll destroy you

      -Deadpan stare at them, and never laugh.

      Link

      [–]SpaceFunkyMonkey 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      Call it ghosting, I call it deleting someone from my life. Worked like a charm when a past ex cheated on me. Plus it reinforces your focus. Excellent thread by the way.

      [–]lanky32[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Thanks. Ghosting, deleting, same thing, different names.

      [–]tobasoft 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      This is good advice. I did this a few years back. Although I recommend a quick goodbye and wish them well sincerely if they insist on being pushy and annoying. Don't explain anything. Ever.

      [–]Schwaggaccino 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      100% true. Well said.

      BTW OP, the second theory you described is projection. It's a defense mechanism. Women use it all the time. It's when they accuse you of shit they did to make themselves feel better. It's an immature defense mechanism but it makes them feel better.

      If you are pissed off and want them to feel like shit, do the third theory - ghost their ass. I cannot explain how well it works. Women hate being ignored. They'll spend weeks upon weeks of obsessing over you, months, years even. I totally ignored this chick back in 2011, no contact since, she's been tagging me in posts as far as 2015 no lie.

      When you fight back and yell at them, you are sinking to their level. That's point 1. Point 2 they'll feel better because you are a douche/asshole/crazy. Point 3 you'll be pissed off and they'll move on.

      Ghost ghost ghost all the way

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You understood it perfectly. Also, the chick reinforced how destructive ghosting can be to female hamsters.

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Here is the signature Ghost Goodbye from TheUltmateCad

      "Blah Blah, you are an asshole....Ten more paragraphs of bullshit....."

      "You seem upset and I completely understand. Our time together was terrific and I wish you all the best!"

      [–]HeinousFu_kery 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I agree wholeheartedly. Women feed like vampires on drama and emotional masturbation over relationships. Deny that and you have them, and your ultimate revenge if that's what you're after.

      With my ex, I just walked out. Stayed in an extended-stay hotel (we had a house together) and called my lawyer. A week or so of feeling miserable I realized I had run for daylight and the plates began to spin.

      Never looked back, even though the legal wrangling got extensive.

      [–]_Danksy 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      It's a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

      Can confirm, ghosted my last three ex's. Blocked their number, left social media altogether, didn't communicate at all from there. My mind was friggin great up until I decided to go full retard and look up one of 'em on jewbook.

      If you're gonna do it, do it all the way.

      [–]lanky32[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      'My mind was friggin great up until I decided to go full retard and look up one of 'em on jewbook.'

      Yup, this should be avoided.

      [–]_Danksy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Indeed. Just delete all social media accounts connected to you. Don't give the government more shit to throw at you.

      [–]drunkinmidget 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      I had a girlfriend cheat on me. I ghosted her after first telling her to go fuck a goat.

      Months later I get a text from her "what would you do if you ran into me after work today?" (I had moved. She apparently was in town when she sent this per a mutual friend). I had ignored many messages before this one. I just responded "I'd turn my head and keep walking" then went back to ghosting.apparently she began to sob uncontrollably realizing it was 100% over. (WTF it took that long to realize???)

      Moral of the story, if you ghost a girl and she comes back months later, shoot her a one sentence "fuck off" message before returning to the ghost. It drives home that you got all her messages before and simply don't gaf

      [–]landon042 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      lmaoo i love this bro.

      I remember time ago this girl must have thought she was playing long game beta bux with me, I end it and months later she says some shit to reel me back in, there are some post on the psychology of this, like messages to see if you'll bite Her: "I still love you landon042"

      One of my most savage text ever

      Me: Ight

      IF I knew what I know today, I'd probably play along but still ignore her, then years later when she expects me to be a little bitch and relying on me to be a bf that saves her from the cc, I hit her with the "I got hella hoes, gtfo if you not suckin"

      [–]drunkinmidget 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Nah dude, "ight" is by far the best! It gives this clear message of you going out of your way just to respond. You care so little that just responding it a fucking chore. I love it.

      [–]landon042 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      yes you're right.

      also "ight" is 1000x better than "k" because in my opinion, that's something bitches use when her orbiter isn't being a good little servant and text her all day, her reply "k"

      many guys here use it but leave that shit to them and the pussys.

      ight is a lot better, just sounds like you're her pimp

      don't forget "maybe" ultimate hamster spinner and shit test passer

      her:do you only want me for sex?

      me: maybe

      her:do you want to go to so and so friday night

      me: maybe

      [–]SayaV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Jesus man, if only I had known TRP a little sooner I would've skipped on a lot of suffering. Thanks a lot, this is great!

      [–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      Ghosting is only part of the solution and I've mentioned this in another asktrp thread.

      In most cases, men who are cheated on have made some significant investment into their relationship. Ghosting alone implies writing off those investments.

      Fuck. That.

      Be Machiavellian. Secure and protect yourself as best you can. Then ghost.

      You may have both your names on a lease, a joint bank account, hell you may even have a dog together. A woman may not have the foresight to think about what those things are worth and how cheating will affect the security of those investment, but a man must. Especially in a society where 'justice' heavily favors women.

      Be smart. Just ghosting is an emotional response and one that can potentially do more harm than good.

      [–]Ether_Freeth 5 points6 points  (7 children)

      thank you.

      I should have read that a year ago when the ex cheated on me with one of my best friends.

      Well better late then never. And no gain without loss.

      :)

      [–]lanky32[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Glad you liked reading it.

      'I should have read that a year ago when the ex cheated on me with one of my best friends.'

      Its incidents like these that direct us to places like this forum.

      You now know what to do if the next one starts fucking with you.

      We all live and learn.

      [–]Returnofthemack3 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      man, shit like this is so unforgivable. A bitch cheating on you is one thing, but for one of your trusted friends to knowingly betray you is just devastating. It's hard, if not impossible, to replace long term friends that you trust. I dunno, i'd be devastated if one of my best friends betrayed me, seeing as how i've known some of them for over 10 years; one of my 'best friends' i've known since second grade! You just cant replace that lol

      edit: and ultimately, he lost out in the end as well. He traded a strong friendship for a disloyal whore lol. Girls come and go, but your bros are forever. Smfh, thirsty dudes cant see the forest from the trees

      [–]Ether_Freeth 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      yeah.

      What stung me the most is that for this person (can't call him a man any more ) I had supported him and his family after he got hurt when we were out on an a mission. He was in a an artificial coma for months because of that.

      And then he betray's me like this.

      As for her ... i thought i finally found the girl you know. Yeah blue pill AF i know but i have the pleasure/misfortune of being a what some people here call a natural. Spent most of my youth with more women then i care to count because of that. And in the end it just made me feel empty. Accomplishing something without real effort is just not rewarding i guess. And she despite being a lot younger she challenged me both on a mental level as well as being an extreme amount of fun to be around. which is something i had sorely missed in my interaction with women. And as such i was madly in love.

      ohh well time to get my shit together and be the prize again.

      [–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Your friend is Brutus himself.

      [–]Enormousface 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      What did you do about the friend?

      [–]Ether_Freeth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I kept fucking her after we broke up and she was officially with him.

      And then after he quit his job and lost a 10 k bonus because of her. I told him what we did with proof.

      Now they are still together but I got my revenge. And for a vengeful mofo like me that is important. And I don't assume they will last long.

      Helped me cope and killed the feels in the end.

      But ghosting her would have been smarter. Especially because somewhere some part of me still hoped it could be fixed.

      To bad women don't love us like we love them. But hey might as wel hope water stops being wet.

      [–]PissedPajamas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Even in my beta days something felt wrong about pleading for reconciliation. Going nuclear as fuck is the only way you walk out a dead relationship with your head up high, oh, and she'll never forget your name. That's pretty cool too

      [–]itsemalkay 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Is it bad to see your ex who cheated on you just for sex?

      [–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It screams lack of abundance.

      I wouldn't do it. She breached my trust. I will get sex from another woman.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Continue being a part of the social circle, never quit a social circle just because your ex is part of it, unless it was primarily her social circle that she introduced you to and the social circle values her more than you.

      Limit your contact with her and speak with the others in the group. It may be a little uncomfortable initially but it gets better with time and with some more time you wouldn't even need to think about it.

      [–]Calebrox124 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.

      Less is more :)

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      When they got your kids, you have now have demon to have to deal with for the rest of your life, unless you leave your kids behind.

      [–]sd4c 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      In many cases confrontation is a form of denial. You're hoping she will give some explanation that reveals all of it was just a big misunderstanding, or that nothing serious happened sexually.

      The reality is that if a woman is giving another man sexual access to her (alone at night, sexting, secret conversations) then you've lost that god-like, #1 priority in her life. Your happiness and your mission should be #1 to her at least until she has your children (then they can be #1). And if she's giving an opening for another guy to make a move, it doesn't matter whether he did or not. The situation is unsalvageable because she no longer sees you as her best option.

      It can be very hard to ghost someone you've grown close to, but it's worth it. There is a certain real satisfaction in dumping a beautiful woman in order to focus on yourself.

      [–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      If she has cheated on you, she does not respect the very core of your relationship.There is nothing to be achieved by speaking with her.

      I am not interested in listening why she did what she did. It's a non issue. Howsoever small or big the temptation or provocation, she knows another man is forbidden territory while she's in a relationship with me.

      She can choose to explore other man or men, that's her choice.

      But then she does not hear another word from me in her lifetime. I have no time to listen to her justifications or rationalisations.

      It' as simple as that.

      'You're hoping she will give some explanation that reveals all of it was just a big misunderstanding, or that nothing serious happened sexually.

      You are bang on about this. Yup, that's why men discuss with cheating females. No, there is no misunderstanding. Girls know what they do and why they do what they do. Then they come up with all sorts of rationalisations to guilt trip the man they have cheated on. Discussing gives her a chance to manipulate. You don't gain anything out of it.

      If she's crossed the forbidden line, she's out. There's nothing that can be achieved by discussing. She isn't going to win back my trust by justifying or hamstering.If she has no self control, she can find another man who tolerates it.

      And trust me, ghosting someone you have been a relationship with requires tremendous amount of will power, its very easy to give in, very easy to get sucked into her rationalisations in trying give yourself a closure.

      Ghosting requires tremendous mental fortitude, whether you do it for revenge or not is inconsequential. Having feelings of revenge is not necessarily a weakness. It's very natural in such circumstances.

      What you do with those feelings is important.

      You aren't picking up a gun and shooting her family, you are just choosing to not have any contact. There is nothing weak about it.

      And six months down the line being in no contact helps you in killing any left over feelings for her.

      So, it's a win-win situation for the man.

      [–]casemodsalt 9 points10 points  (4 children)

      I still need to get to the point of actually meeting up with a decent looking woman from tinder :/

      [–]Shootlawd 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      It's your pics. Even if you are sure its not.

      [–]TRPKid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Back before they banned <18, all I had was a post-workout full body ab pic, matches for days.

      Lift lift lift lift lift lift lift.

      [–]ballietbran 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      Yeah in my opinion if they've cheated on you, get the fuck out. Not only are they gonna do it again since they got away with it once, but they can't be fucking trusted. Approach all women with caution, if they've ever cheated in the past, I promise you they are more than likely gonna do it again in the future. It's not that hard. You'll look like a fucking cuck if you stay with the bitch that cheated, end of story.

      [–]Fukb0i97 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I "stay" with the bitch that cheated on me because for me i dont have any more feelings for her, i mean i enjoy her company to some degree, but i have no romantic feelings for her anymore. I act stupid like i dont know whats going on, and i tell her i love her, but Im only with her for the sex. Also i use every chance i get to cheat on her. She thinks we're still togheter, but really we're not. But she is so fuckin hot that i cant stop fucking her. Im only with her when i dont have shit to do. Do you think Its bad?

      [–]hairaware 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      I'd just cut off all emotional connection and just use them as a fucktoy till I found another that was acceptable. I don't make many emotional connections though so I can imagine it'd be hard if you were.

      [–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      If you are not emotionally involved, you could keep fucking her. 95 out of 100 men would not be able to pull this off.

      [–]hairaware 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Just have to learn how to compartmentalize your emotions. Getting called cold here and there is worth the versatility.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      'Just have to learn how to compartmentalize your emotions.'

      Yes, but it isn't easy for most men.

      [–]cause_you_suck 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      what i did before was take a screenshot of fb convo the guy and my ex had before deleting and then sent it to her to skype (no explanations or anything, just the screenshot), just to let her i know whats going on. and then i ghosted. was that a terrible idea?

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      She got to know exactly why you broke up with her, she needn't need to wonder why you broke up, you gave her a ready made answer. You prevented her hamster from spinning, i would not say it was a terrible idea but it wasn't the most effective either.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'd say it isn't a bad move. You go radio silent after that, so she gets no real closure. But you let her know that you aren't a fool, but you don't let her hamster rev as much. I'd say providing irrefutable evidence of wrongdoing right before the ghost, with no discussion, isn't so bad.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It really doesn't matter at all.

      [–]RiseAboveRuin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Does this really need a fucking article written about it? I mean common. Is the sky blue? Is my dick small? does 1+1=2?

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The fact that men don't ghost cheaters is absolutely feral. So may BP beta men on here that deserve to be lined up and shot in the fucking head for being so worthless and pathetic.

      [–]msaintx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I love this, its simple and just plain common sense. Anyone that crosses your moral code isnt worth reasoning with anyways. She was never more important than any other human you met, and now that she destroyed one of the only things giving her any worth, well what is she then ?

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yes, if you let her know briefly and don't get drawn into a prolonged argument , it's all good.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      15 years later, she wouldn't even be your mind, you would be completely indifferent.

      You want to fuck with her mind, leave the message. Personally, I will continue not having any contact.

      [–]themitchplesset 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I must say sir, this verbose description of ghosting has perfectly explained my reasoning. Thank you for this.

      [–]AyeAmScottishYaCunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The best way to deal with this kind of situation is to simply remain stoic, look her dead in the eye and say...

      "I'm breaking up with you"

      Leading her to question your decision, obviously. You simply respond with 1 word.

      "Guess..."

      Tie in an evil little smirk whilst you watch her rack her brain, thinking of every indiscretion she's ever committed in the relationship whilst simultaneously creating alibis/reasons/excuses for each one. It's truly a marvel to see a hamster spin so fast it literally combusts.

      Use this time to gather your shit and go. No discussions, no hearing her out. Nothing. You don't lower yourself to hear her trickle truth or outright lying, no not even for a full confession or apology. You just go.

      And by go, I mean you go over to your plates house who's wearing nothing but a bathrobe and some edible panties eagerly awaiting your arrival.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      In most cases, when the woman cheats, she is already over you. Your confronting her gives her an out. A woman will never admit that she was in the wrong to a man she does not respect,

      And guess what, if she has cheated on you, she does not respect you.

      Confronting does not help because by the time you realize she is cheating she has secured the next branch. she thinks nothing about turning on you and browbeating you because she is getting what you could give her from another man. In fact it's good that you confront her because it gives her hamster a chance to do mental gymnastics and reach the conclusion that you were the bad one in the relationship.

      If she has already secured the new branch, she can afford to be brazen with you. It's how if you have a new and a better job offer and and if your current boss tries to pull you up for not working well, you don't really give a fuck.

      That's why ghosting helps. Because you leave her in a maze of questions which she can never answer herself. She is uncertain. Women like to box men into alpha and beta categories. You ghosting her without saying a word is display of high value (alpha). But you were a beta in the relationship, that's why she cheated on you.

      To her hamster it's confusing. She wants to interact with you one last time so that she can get her closure (which means that she should be able to determine with finality whether you are a beta and hence she made the right call in cheating you or an alpha in which case she may want to come back). you don't giver her that closure.

      Without interacting with you further her hamster is not able to box you into either of these categories, it is not able to reach a conclusion with certainty. It's absolutely infuriating for a woman to not be able to do so.

      And that's why more often than not the woman completely flips out when you ghost her. It' s maddening for them.

      And that's the best revenge we can take from a cheating ho.

      [–]QruCiFiX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Didn't read your post, sorry in advance. I would just like to chime in something based on the title. Listen to patrice o'neal, his philosophy is that a woman already expects the outcome of you either getting mad at her or being a begging loser when she cheats. Be inconsistent, tell her you are happy she cheated because now you can finally go and be with other women without feeling any guilt. Perfect abundance, be bigger than the body, put her mind to work.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

      [–]Ceeallah 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Thank you. I really needed to hear this, this morning. This theory is not a theory but living truth as it is something I'm going through as I speak. Again thanks for the reminder and the testament that what I think and am feeling is not crazy.

      [–]supernormalnorm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ghost, have her beg, do the angsty grudge fck, then ghost for real

      [–]spookyman212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is some seriously good advice. Also remember that the next girlfriend has to be better. Do not go backwards. Always trade up.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

      By using her do you mean continuing to have sex with her?

      Well, if you have the mental fortitude or the inclination, go for it.

      Most men don't.

      I would not want to have sex with a female I was emotionally invested in, knowing that she has replaced me with someone else. I would rather cut her out.

      There are so many other women to have sex with. Sex isn't enjoyable if the woman does not respect you. A woman who cheated on me certainly does not have respect for me. Lack of respect is a boner killer, at least for me, no matter how hot she is.

      I would definitely not fuck her. I will vanish from her life and leave her in a maze of questions,

      Mindfucking a cheat would give me a greater satisfaction than physically fucking her.

      If you can pull it off, well go for it. But it's not easy as you make it sound. Having sex with her can again activate your feelings for her. And you will have to hear her stories about the new man. Its just not worth it.

      Doesn't work for me.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      The idea of silently plating a LTR that has cheated to me has always spoke against abundance mentality.

      I had a crazy middle aged woman have her friend text my friend to text me to walk to a bar to hang out last weekend. It would have be an easy kill. But why would I turn off Gotham and leave my dog for that shit upon being summoned in such a way?

      [–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Exactly. Plating a a cheating whore is anything but abundance mentality.

      If it works for some men, great

      I think deep inside they do secretly hope that by continuing to have sex with her they have a sliver of a chance of her again falling in love with them. It gives them hope.

      Hope is the biggest beta killer. I don't give false hopes to people.

      I would not plate a cheating ex but if it works for some people, more power to them.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It means that you are willing to have in your life those that know they have disrespected you, regardless of what else they know of the interaction (i.e. you are just using them for sex, in your mind, yet here you are talking to a bitch that betrayed you).

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There is a large risk with that though. When women feel like they're losing their relationship status, they get desperate. They'll all of a sudden stop caring if you're wearing a condom or if they took their birth control for example. I speak from experience.

      [–]doveenigma13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ghosting like that is hard if you were married. You have to change it a little bit and talk to her like a business partner. Keep it cold and emotionless. That drives them fucking bonkers.

      [–]SigmaNOC 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      That's fine, but remember not to get disappointed if you find out she didn't give a shit, never really tried to contact you, and just got with the other guy.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yup, but would being in touch with her have resulted in a different outcome?

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ghosting is much more for you than her. You need to have a reason to spend time on her, not a reason not to.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is bullshit. If a woman cheats, then she is in the stable... along with the rest of them. She can come back and blow me any time. I think this is only true when you are in love. And that is silly.

      [–]ballsy1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I ghost everyone or use them as a booty call...

      [–]PranksterLad 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Two questions:

      1) You find out your girlfriend snap chatted her ex-boyfriend whilst you were together semi-nude photos two months later after it happened. Cheating? Plan of action?

      2) Seeing a girl who has a boyfriend, been fucking for four months. Lied to me yesterday, and is now with the boyfriend. Says she wants to dump him for me. Plan of action?

      [–]Returnofthemack3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      lol it blows my mind that many people exist that wouldn't ghost someone for cheating on them, men and women. This is such a common sense post, but somehow people need to hear it. Ridiculous.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Common sense is not very common.

      [–]lolligagger3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I did not get cheated on, but damn this was helpful, I'm applying it now

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      'I un-hooked an LTR who decided we were over after an argument, and just never looked back. Deleted txts and emails w/o reading them, told my own friends privately I was cutting her off and would appreciate it if they did the same. Dealt with apartment stuff through the landlord.'

      You call it 'unhooking', I call it 'ghosting'. Ghost her to unhook from her clutches. Simple.

      [–]De4thGr1n 0 points1 point  (7 children)

      Well, my ex didn't cheat on me. We are 21 and she went a 3months vacation in Europe. We already had a few fights before but it didn't seem like she was going to break up with me. 2.5 weeks in , she broke up with me.

      She is very sexual person (that means that when she was single she slept with a lot of guys but I don't think she emotionally can cheat on a guy without hating herself) and when she broke up with me she said it was about those fights. I knew it wasn't and that she just can't wait 3 months in a relationship that's rickety so she just decided to end it because that's something easy and comfortable to do. (I should also mention that she is an emotionally weak person with a lot of self-hatred and pessimism so not getting out of her comfort zone and not doing something that takes strength isn't unlikely for her).

      I didn't talk to her for about a month and a half now (she broke up with me like 2 months ago, I stayed having casual conversations as if we were just friends and I was never hurt and she couldn't take it so she begged me to stop and I did) and my plan is to ghost her and when she comes around (if she will) I will tell her "Having a talk won't take us anywhere nice so we might as well skip it" I don't want to talk to her and tell her how why she fucked up because I don't seek revenge. I want her to know that she did something fucked up but I don't want to spell it out for her because she is a smart girl and she can figure it out and spelling it out would just cause her (as OP said) to shift the blame on me and victimize and tell me how she had such a hard time in the relationship even though we both know its untrue. And if she won't figure it out that means that she can't confront herself with criticism because she is too weak and prefers to believe that she was a victim that means that I she doesn't deserve me.

      [–]Lu_the_Mad 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      Why were you still talking to her?

      [–]De4thGr1n 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      Because I thought I understood why she did it (which after waking up from oneitis I discovered was a lie she told me and herself to justify it to herself - She might still believe it) and it seemed like a good reason. She said she had a real hard time in the relationship with my criticism of her and I blamed her of playing the victim and being PC so I figured she just couldn't handle it anymore - as I said , weak. But then I figured that's not the reason and she just was hungry for sex and that she didn't hold as much meaning as I had for the relationship and she couldn't confess that to me or to herself.

      [–]Lu_the_Mad 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Do you think you learned anything valuable from the experience?

      [–]De4thGr1n 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      Well, I believe I learned to notice if I'm oneitis in a relationship when the other person. It strengthened my belief in some TRP principles (I don't always agree with TRP). And that I'll never leave "reason over feelings" again even if it fails a relationship because only with reason I can get an objective view on life and other people. Also, feeling over reason leads you to things like believing that if someone feels like a victimgets angryfeels hurt it someone else's fault, That's not true, people can get offended , angry and what not because of their own ego and how it's defined. I don't think my ex has been manipulating me on purpose, I believe she victimized herself(making me feel guilty) so she can feel like "It's OK , He hurt me too".

      [–]Lu_the_Mad 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I don't think my ex has been manipulating me on purpose

      That sort of sounds like you are apologizing for her behavior. This is the wrong path to take.

      While she might not have consciously sat down and said "I am going to manipulate him, and use the fact that he did x, y, and z to make myself feel better about taking more strange dick", she is an adult, and she knew what she was doing.

      She created what ever justifications she needed, sure, and of course made you the bad guy in her mind. But she knew what she was doing.

      Don't try and justify their behavior.

      [–]De4thGr1n 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I honestly don't think she is self-aware enough. I think she can't see through her own victimization and self-pity. She is emotionally immature in that sense.

      Throughout the relationship when she had times where she would wallow in her own self-pityVictimization (not about me, just about life, workplace, and such) I would be the one that would be the voice of the Rational (and this was very hard for her). Not necessarily disagreeing with her but rather saying things like "Learn from it, wallowing in misery just gets you more depressed and lenient towards yourself"

      [–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Ghosting is the best choice after any break up or broken plate. Because there's nothing left to do. You aren't getting sex and until that resumes again there should be no commitment, no attention.

      Also remember that almost every single dude on this earth can't hold his no contact. He will always look to chat a former bitch/girlfriend up when he ran out of options. And most dudes totally run out of options. Guys on here know that they are assured of eventual pussy so we get automatic abundance. Most guys don't have this voice of absolute certainty.

      Girls assume that you are gonna contact them again and that you're Beta because every previous boy has done so. You are riding the Beta wave off bad reputation brought forth by previous boyfriends. So when you do the opposite you become the exception. She can put you in the neat little box with the other beta boyfriends because you didn't behave like them.

      To her she will have the X amount of boyfriends that tried booty calling her a year after the break up, wanted to stay friends, kept stalking them and she will have you. The guy that just vanished. Now guess what's gonna be on her mind more. An entire asteroid right of Beta orbiter exes or gravity defying you.

      Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing. You need to man up and let go. Let go off everything that held you back before.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      'Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing.'

      It's a very hard thing to execute, very hard. But it's worth it.

      [–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      'Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing.'

      Truer words have never been spoken my friend. You get it.

      [–]basebool 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      The only problem is that she will more likely than not track you down because she thinks someone kidnapped you or something like that. At least if you send one final text saying: "I know what you did, we are done", it's more of a clean slice.

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Sending one final text is okay too, but don't get trapped in a non-ending back and forth.

      [–]basebool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Exactly just as a final we are done because honestly theres so many possibilities of why your not answering your phone and the fact that your breaking up with her might not be one of the thoughts. Better to make it clear and then ghost

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The point is that you should just cut her off, whether you see it as revenge or not does not matter in the long run. At the end of the day, whatever you initial objective is, cutting off contact helps you in freeing your mind from her clutches and that is what is needed.

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