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Red Pill TheoryDon’t waste your time. When in doubt, force her to act or move on (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1KissTheBridesmaid

This is very basic / beginner material, but spending some time in askTRP, I saw a lot of extensive descriptions of a particular girl’s behaviour, analyzing whether or not she is interested, wondering ‘what if’ etc.

This is a quick overview of some basic principles to avoid this type of over-analyzing and save you some time.

Always judge her by her actions. When in doubt, move on

This is very simple. If a girl flakes on you, doesn’t answer your texts, shows interest in another guy, the answer is always to move on. Her actions show that she doesn’t care.

Don’t waste your time dwelling on that one night she drunkenly made out with you or told you she wants to be with you but is just ‘emotionally unavailable’ at the moment. You will find yourself reaching for signs that she really does care for you. Maybe her phone was on silent? Maybe she was just trying to make you jealous? If this was really the case you would know it and would not be dwelling on it.

It is a bullshit rationalization because you are afraid to move on for fear of missing out on a great opportunity. Remember that she wants you to keep orbiting. She wants your free validation and she will continue to provide threads of hope for you to clutch on to.

When you move on, either way, you win. If she really is interested and just ‘playing games’, she will find a way to clearly express her interest. If she isn’t interested, you save yourself a lot of time and hassle. In addition to this, withdrawing your validation is a lot more likely to change her mind than continuing to pursue her. It shows abundance mentality and non-neediness.

Force her to act

If you understand the above and you still can’t make sense of her actions, it means you have not clearly and effectively expressed your intentions.

If you do not make your intentions clear to a girl, you won’t generate any actions to interpret.

As a man, it is your job to take the risk of getting rejected. You need to take action to find out if a woman is attracted to you or not. This is also known as ‘polarizing’.

Sitting around and wondering if a girl likes you or not and analyzing her behaviour is pointless if you have not polarized her. She may like you, but be too shy to express it. Maybe she is playing hard to get. Speculating on this is a waste of time.

Force her to act. Make a move. Ask her out on a date. Go in for the kiss. She will have to reciprocate or reject you. You have generated clear action that is easy to interpret.

Lessons learned:

Always judge her by her actions.

She will try to keep you around for validation, even if she is not interested.

It is better to move on than to continue to pursue if there are ‘mixed’ signals.

You need to ‘generate action’ by making your intentions clear.

TLDR: Always make your intentions clear. Judge a girl by her actions. When in doubt, move on.

EDIT: wants


[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 138 points139 points  (13 children)

Force her to act. Make a move. Ask her out on a date. Go in for the kiss. She will have to reciprocate or reject you. You have generated clear action that is easy to interpret.

An important part of an advertisment is the call to action. Response to an advertisement goes way up if some type of call to action is included. The same goes for marketing yourself to the opposite sex. Women will be more than happy to let you orbit and provide validation and goodies in exchange for implied future gains that they have no intention to deliver upon.

In my experience, NOTHING was ever preserved or gained by waiting for some idealized "right moment." An inexperienced young man can easily get sucked into a LONG Schrodinger's Relationship, wherein he's afraid to "ruin it" by opening the box and seeing if the cat is alive or not. Lesson learned: Open the damn box already!

[–]Batou_Red 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The analogy of Schrodinger's Relationship is perfect. A lot of my friends tend to get into a relationship where they feel guilty if they have to call upon their SO for some reason, whether it be an emergency. The view their relationship as so fragile that it could break if they ask their GF for anything at all. You need to know people's response to making your needs clear.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

Another similar analogy is poker. It's often best to bet whether you have the goods or not, just to shut down your opponent and not allow him to see the next card without paying the price. Chances are you'll win the pot just by making the first move. Worst case scenario you get called or raised, but at least you know where you stand.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (9 children)

In low stakes, where you're dealing with below average players, this is a terrible strategy. In higher stakes, it depends.

[–]rpreader 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Yeah, you never want to bluff in low stakes. The people you're playing against don't know what they're doing and you'll lose money.

[–]theshiphaslanded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a general strategy it's not good to bluff in low stakes as the most common mistake of low stakes players is calling too frequently.

The idea is to find out what level your opponents are thinking on (it'll tell you what mistakes they make most often), and then think one level above it (start betting for value with weaker hands if they make the mistake of calling too frequently).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

You can bluff once you build your "table image". An antagonistic asshole with a stack 3-4 times bigger than everyone else gets attention. They may not be smart but they recognize the chips gravitating towards you. The trick is to coax them into calling your "bluff" when you actually have a great hand.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Perhaps you believe this strategy works in low stakes, fair enough, however if you do some reading, you'll find, bluffing in low stakes is widely considered to be sub optimal in low stakes.

[–]PaulAJK -1 points0 points  (0 children)

True, your profit comes from betting good hands on all three streets at the micros. C-bets post flop are the exception.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Lol I see what you're saying. I think my definition of bluffing is confusing you. I don't play weak hands in the first place. Checking/calling is a weak move unless you're slow playing for a good reason. My thoughy process: If I intend to play a hand, then bet on all streets until I intend to fold. If the flop is garbage and you know your opponents range, chances are its garbage for them too. And if it's a scary board then chances are it's scary for them as well. If they hit their hand, then betting will control the pot giving you a chance to hit your hand. Worst case scenario they raise or jam, but then you know where you stand instead of getting into a dangerous situation by the river. I'm not great at explaining but it's been working for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I've misunderstood you. We both agree we should bet intelligently. The reason I took the position I did, is because noobs will have read that and though 'bluffing is always good' and that's dangerous thinking.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I play micro stakes and do quite well these days. Obviously this is highly simplified for the audience here. But "first to the pot" is a strategy that's been written about in detail, and often times it's the right move. Especially in low stakes. The fish think "eh... what's 6 cents, I wanna see the turn card". Then hit them with another and they'll fold. You need to take the small pots and blinds to maintain your stack for the monster hands, and continually shutting people down will antagonize them into tilting when you actually hit a good hand, especially short stacked players. If you appear to only play logically, you'll be too transparent. This works for me, and I know it sounds like I play loose as hell, but I only play a very narrow range of hands.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bluffing in low stakes is a terrible strategy and it's been well written about. Low stakes players don't play at the level that, taking your possible hands into account, really influences their play.

Low stakes players pretty much focus on their hand. Therefore bluffing is a waste of time. Understanding the odds and playing them is optimal.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 60 points61 points  (21 children)

This is one of the key principles of Mark Manson's "Models":

Polarize early and often.

People, women included, will either like you or not. Figuring that out as quickly as possible saves you a lot of wasted time.

[–]Boovs4life 5 points6 points  (19 children)

But how do you figure it out? It's not like you can straight up ask them.

[–]1cmkinusn 26 points27 points  (13 children)

Action. You don't ask anything, would you ask "is this okay?" Before kissing, or would you just kiss her? Just do it, and deal with the aftermath after it happens.

[–][deleted]  (11 children)

[deleted]

    [–]ancap13 4 points5 points  (10 children)

    Thats law in California now, google yes means yes

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      If you have to ask if it's okay, then it's not okay.

      Even if her answer was an implied "yes" before you asked.

      [–]cpnurrenberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's probably more common than you think. I'm just happy I learned this at a relatively young age.

      [–]lodro 6 points7 points  (5 children)

      Thats law in California now, google yes means yes

      False. The law requires California universities to use affirmative consent to adjudicate campus disciplinary actions related to sexual assault. It has no relevance to criminal or civil cases of sexual assault, rape, etc.

      California's laws on those crimes have not changed recently and are fairly reasonable (e.g. it isn't rape if the aggressor had a reasonable expectation of consent, even if the other person didn't want the sex). It wouldn't be possible to use affirmative consent in sexual assault cases in court as it would violate several rights of the accused.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

      How is such a massive institution as higher education allowed to violate rights?

      [–]lodro 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      The rights you have in court don't leave the courtroom. You have the right to due process in court - you don't have that right in disagreement with your roommate. Your roommate can decide that you're an asshole without hearing you out, and they haven't violated your rights.

      A university has more responsibility than that, obviously, but not the same responsibility as a court of law (as they don't decide whether you've committed a crime). Whether (and how) they have to respect your right to due process etc is not entirely clear at the moment.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Yeah but they have a monopoly on education, they should be held to extremely strict standards. If we're being real they a small pseudo-gov't and that they're allowed to act like this is insane.

      [–]lodro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Oh sure, I probably agree so long as those standards restrict authority and empower individuals. But I'm only describing the current legal situation as I understand it. I don't intend any value judgement.

      [–]Tallsmarthandsome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Id love for a fed funded state university to hold "illegal immigrant" tribunals based on a preponderance of evidence, no lawyers allowed for the accused.

      [–]Money_Bags97 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      As someone else posted, give her a call to action. Make HER the one that has to decide.

      You ask her out? Good, she'll either say yes or no

      You go in for a kiss? Shell either kiss back or pull away

      You put the pressure on her to decide if she's worth your time

      [–]traversecity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When I was much younger, I found that asking if a girl/women would like to make love, have sex, or fuck worked out just fine. Got a yes or no, or a slap in the face right away. My choice of the question depended on circumstaces and level of mutual intoxication.

      [–]I_like_to_debate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Are you kidding? I do, every time. I say something like "I like you, let's go on a date, I'm free Friday or Saturday, which works best for you?".

      [–]flat6turbo 78 points79 points  (36 children)

      if a girl wants to fuck you, she'll move heaven and earth to do it. women are glued to their phones 24/7 and see every single message that goes by, no matter how brief. there's absolutely no chance she didn't see your message - she just doesn't want to fuck you. move on, the less you say the better. next.

      [–]Masonjarteadrinker2 10 points11 points  (20 children)

      I've had a girl with her car broken down ask her boyfriend to let her borrow his car to come visit me so I can hit that. So you're 100% right, if they want to fuck you they will make the effort to do so, just like us men, if I really want to do a girl I'll change my plans up so I can have her over.

      [–]_J_J_ 3 points4 points  (13 children)

      Yup, that's exactly what I have experienced in the past couple of days. Girl started to take longer to reply and show less interest, when I know for a fact she is on her phone every few minutes.

      Got out of her she doesn't want anything for now and needs some time to "think". She apologised for being a bit vague. Told her that it's actually very clear what she wanted and that I'd like if she just told me. I'm moving on and went NC.

      [–]antariusz 35 points36 points  (9 children)

      Learn to stop needing validation from women.

      You want her to tell you that she isn't interested.

      Why do you need her to express that which you already know.

      You're obviously too invested, and come across as butt-hurt.

      WAAH, you don't like me, but won't admit to it, I want you to be the bad guy in my narrative.

      But guess what, women are ALWAYS the victim. She'll never admit to being the bad guy, when you give up on that, you can move past the anger phase. You're socially the equivalent of the rivals she outmaneuvered as an 8 year old.

      [–]_J_J_ 19 points20 points  (4 children)

      Yes you are right. I like to have everything laid out clearly, know what people want from me and what they can expect from me. Which is simply not possible with women. I'm not angry or butt-hurt, but I need to stop expecting the same behaviour from women as other people in my life.

      [–]antariusz 13 points14 points  (3 children)

      Exactly.

      Learn to appreciate the things that women CAN bring to your life. And there are a LOT of things that women can do better than men. Get them working for you, building up your social network for example.

      Getting them to admit to "being wrong" and taking responsibility for their behavior is not something that will ever happen. She might "admit" something if she think it will avoid more social awkwardness but she won't actually "believe" she was in the wrong.

      [–]_J_J_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Thanks, yes I'm working on it. Shouldn't have expected anything from a fuck buddy, but it was my first experience with one. I definitely made some mistakes with this girl and won't be making the same again in the future.

      [–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      You have been an excellent contributor to the community. Your advice is insightful, well-spoken, and brimming with Red. Thank you for your contributions.

      I am hereby endorsing you.

      [–]antariusz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Thanks, I say a lot of stupid shit too. I'll try to post less stupid shit now that I have a flair drawing attention to my posts.

      [–]scarfox1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      Agreed, the guy sounds like a girl crying that someone isn't replying fast enough and keeping track of how fast she replies etc... the best way imo is to do what feels natural. Sometimes if I don't feel like it I won't respond to a txt from a girl, not because red pill said 'wait x amount of time before you txt women back' no that's retarded, do what's natural.

      [–]antariusz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Well, what's "natural" comes from experience.

      It's "natural" for you and me to do it because we have experience now and I wouldn't be wasting my time with a chick not into me, because there are lots of other women that ARE interested in me. So it's basically about maximizing your investment of time. And that's what you call natural.

      But when this guy doesn't have a lot of experience with women, he may have a high value objectively, but subjectively he just doesn't know how to compare. And that's the beauty of this sub.

      [–]antariusz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      And until he picks up natural instincts, we can simply tell him to follow the 2/3rds rule.

      For every three texts she sends you respond with two. For every 3 words in her texts, send two back.

      It's not "natural" but what he learned is what he thinks is "natural" and that's not working for him.

      [–]evergonitenitenigga 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      2/3rds rule, in my experience only applies to women you are already smashing, and is obviously into you after the fact. this bad advice will fucking backfire if you are still in the 'pursuing' phase. as a man that gets laid a lot from girls obviously of a higher smv than myself, i always make plans to meet them, escalate the conversation to turn sexual, etc - 2/3rds rule does not apply at that time. plus i have been tol that i have an aura of a "fuckboy" a player - whatever, so even if s girl is into me, they always hold back. theres been many times where i girl gave me NOTHING during the date but we end still ended up having sex on the same night.

      stop giving mathematical advice to social interactions. this sounds like 'wait an hour to reply', or 'wait 3 days before calling her' bullshit. shit, if im busy im busy, and may not answer a text 3 hours later, but if my phone is in my hand mindlessly redditing and i get a text, i reply right away.

      i dont apply math to something that is driven by sexual desire.

      [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      You told her that? Why? If I NC a woman, I don't explain. I just <poof> vanish.

      [–]_J_J_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm still going to see her around university events from time to time. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked anything and just judged her based on her actions and go NC as a result.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]AcrossHallowedGround 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      The cool thing is this applies to more than just romantic/sexual relationships. I was going to a party, and had all of my female friend's booze at my house (she has celiac so that actually matters in this scenario). She made a big deal about me getting to the party right at 7, I told her that wasn't happening, she could come get it or wait till I got there. She gave me a bunch of excuses about how my place was on the other side of town, I shouldn't be late to a party anyway etc.

      I simply told her I wanted to ride my motorcycle before it got too cold, and I still needed to shower before the party; I would get there when I get there. She could come pick it up or wait. Left the bottles in the garage where they could be retrieved. Didn't wait for a response, took off on my bike. When I got back I checked my phone, near instant response: "Ok, OMW." Felt like a dick when I sent her that message originally, ended up teaching myself this exact thing.

      Know what you want. Don't bend to other peoples will unless you get something out of it.

      [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 113 points114 points  (9 children)

      You need to ‘generate action’ by making your intentions clear.

      This x10,000. Faint heart never fucked fair lady.

      She will try to keep you around for validation, even if she is not interested.

      This is how guys become orbiters. Some woman puts out beta bait and the guy creates some narrative in his head, keeps investing, and ultimately becomes her "orbiter in chief".

      It is better to move on than to continue to pursue if there are ‘mixed’ signals.

      Big time. If a girl wants to fuck you she will find a way to make it happen. None of this "Oh, I'm not ready for a relationship right now" and then a week later she's getting railed out by Chad Thundercock.

      Take your shot. It's resolved either way. "Take your shot" resolves the situation one way or the other, "The Moment Wasn't Right" or "I Think She Likes Me, But I'm Too Scared to Make a Move" takes the bus home and jacks off.

      [–][deleted]  (6 children)

      [removed]

        [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 40 points41 points  (1 child)

        No matter what her message was, the subtext was "VALIDATE MEEEEE!!!!"

        [–]evileddy 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        Yeah.. most men are dicks in a glass until she needs one.

        I have girls all the time out of the blue "sup?"

        and wow.. wouldn't you know it.. she's just been dumped or broken up with someone.. I now start saying "lol are ya single or something?"

        [–]Nogoodsense 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Sounds kind of butthurt and passive aggressive. Better is Minimal response. Logistic texts only. Set a date to meet if you're interested. If she is too, she'll work with you to make it happen. If she stalls, she's not interested she just wants validation and orbiters. Next.

        [–]evileddy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        I'm not interested in any of these women.. or I'd do exactly as you described.

        Example.. hot red head I met when she was with her LTR boyfriend just messaged me and I replied "beer 8 pm" and she replied "SURE!!! :)" and you know the rest.

        [–]solbrothers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I got so many texts on my birthday from exes. Funny because I don't know any of their birthdays lol.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Some woman puts out beta bait and the guy creates some narrative in his head, keeps investing, and ultimately becomes her "orbiter in chief".

        So true. Wishful thinking is the fatal flaw of Betas, as I learned the hard way. The same applies to business. I've seen too many people in sales waste their time with prospects who no intention of buying. In dating and business it's very important to systematically collect data and create a feedback loop so you can continuously determine a prospect or customer's intentions and adjust accordingly.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]3savoryprunes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        NEXT! It's more powerful than a thousand "No"s.

        Welcome to the path of learning to respect yourself. If you don't, then no one else will.

        [–]Masonjarteadrinker2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Some women will go to great heights to keep you orbiting. This really attractive girl I used to fuck with a lot 3 years ago let's me hit it about twice a year now just to keep me around, it's pretty amazing. Hottest girl I've ever been with so I don't block her from my phone cause I don't mind seeing her a few times a year, I don't text and talk to her constantly though, I don't give her much of my time, a few texts every few weeks if she hits me up, that's about it.

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        What is this?

        [–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Women flirt by making themselves available. When a man does not initiate contact, they will say "oh he doesn't like me". Action is the masculine frame.

        There has to be context here. The initial contact, yeah, probably, but if you become the guy who contacts first all of the time and she knows you're putting her on a pedestal, she will bore of you quickly. You obviously don't have other girls who want to fuck you, and you're obviously not busy with your mission in life. How could you be? You fucking text her all day.

        [–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 9 points10 points  (3 children)

        Robert Glover (NO MORE MR NICE GUY) talks about this in one of his podcasts (may have been in the book as well, can't remember), where he says: "GET TO REJECTION AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE."

        Tells a story about asking a girl out--and how many of his readers / clients (and I used to do this to) would often "fly under the radar" when approaching girls, not making their intentions clear at the outset. Like, you WANT to date the girl, but you're afraid she'll turn you down, that just coming out and asking "How about a date??" will scare her off, so instead you're like "How about we grab lunch this week and talk about that one creative project you're working on?" etc. And all the while the girl is wondering "Sooo--is it a date then??" (Answer: unless you say "THIS IS A DATE" then it's not a date.) Glover mentioned how, one time, he asked this one woman out and made it clear, right up front, that it was going to be a date, like "There's this live band playing Saturday night at 8pm, let's grab some drinks and check them out" etc (I think he might have had some some sort of biz relationship with her beforehand, so he had to make it clear this was NOT biz, this was entirely personal.) The woman KNEW it was a date, Glover's intention was clear, and she turned him down. But (and here's the great part), Glover says (right after the rejection):

        "Man, when I heard that (rejection) I PUMPED MY FIRST IN THE AIR!! Like, YES!! I GOT TO REJECTION!!!!" And gents, I have to say, when I heard that on the podcast I actually laughed out loud, and the whole thing suddenly made sense. I fucking LOVE the fact that the guy gave HIMSELF a fist pump for getting turned down--because, really, that's exactly what we all should be doing here: owning our desires, acting on them, not flying under the radar but being clear and above board about our intentions, and if she says Yes to the date then great, and if she says No to the date that's great too, you win either way, because either way the victory is in (successfully) expressing your desire. That's the only part of the process you control. The outcome (her saying Yes or No) isn't up to you, so don't worry about it.

        Get to rejection as quickly as possible. That's victory.

        [–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        By the way it's totally possible to "just hang out" and still get laid (like "I'm going hiking this weekend, wanna come?"), trick here is you better put your intentions / desire right out on the table and in plain sight ASAP--get the kino in, get the physical escalation ramping up, run your tight game, etc etc. Women only give you a few hours before they start polarizing you, and if you haven't made your (sexual) intentions clear at the outset, they will, by default, automatically polarize you into the friend zone (usually after about 10 total hours spent together, 15 at the outside).

        (Edit: punctuation)

        [–]sourpuss_ashkenazi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is it. Force the issue then you can close the chapter, go out that night and find a better girl. thank god for redpill.

        [–]ChairBorneMGTOW 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        "...You will find yourself reaching for signs that she really does care for you. Maybe her phone was on silent?"

        Was guilty of this rationalization many times. I assumed that because I ignored my phone 95% of the time, it was normal. It's not, especially for females.

        Her phone might be silent, but she is still checking Facebook every 5 minutes. She saw your text. Her lack of response is a choice.

        [–]sourpuss_ashkenazi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Facing the truth full on seems like it will be painful but it's what minimises the pain most.

        [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (5 children)

        I get a lot of questions asking me questions like: "There's this chick I can probably plate but she's a single mother, is it a good idea to go for it?" I always answer: "If you need to ask, find a different chick. Have some standards and some abundant mentality." Sluts love drama, confusing bullshit, and stupid games. You might have to play a little bit but if she's really jerking you around then you've gotta give her the single mother treatment. Being jerked around is never good game but even if it was, that's no excuse to be jerked around or to pursue a chick who jerks you around.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]StraightGlueWater 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Do you really need an answer to this question?

          You can't answer this yourself?

          Simple shit, brother. You cultivate abundance through self-improvement and realizing that abundance is INHERENT.

          I was socially anxious. I got over it by forcing myself to be uncomfortable and just fucking deal with it.

          It starts with self-improvement. Become a man that a woman wants to fuck. Not sure who that is? Sidebar.

          [–]sourpuss_ashkenazi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I agree. Forcing seemingly awkward silences, seemingly awkward situations, saying things that aren't meant to be said... it's playing life in hard mode but it has special rewards.

          [–]StraightGlueWater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          When you start it's life in hard-mode, sure.

          But once you get comfortable with it, it's life on fun mode.

          Nothing is more fun than being able to say outrageous shit and get away with it.

          [–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 14 points15 points  (1 child)

          Excellent, sir. Next!

          When I started out, I used to give chicks 2 chances. Now they only get one. This is how abundance mentality grows.

          [–]NiceKicksGabe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Soon, you'll give no chances.

          [–]FeeFeeFeaster 8 points9 points  (9 children)

          If you do not make your intentions clear to a girl, you won’t generate any actions to interpret.

          Also be certain of girls' availability before expecting any outcome. I have an ex-roommate who is now engaged to a guy with a couple of daughters. She has never wanted kids of her own and is now insta-mom because of that situation. She's working a second job to save money for the wedding, so it's job 1, job 2, kids, sleep, repeat. She is bored out of her mind, obviously.

          I've had a steady stream of incoming nude pics, videos of her masturbating, videos of her playing with her g-spot vibe, and videos of her playing with herself in the bathroom stall at work. Overall she's still too scared to make herself available for some side action.

          We've had a clear agreement for no-strings hookups for over a month and she keeps making excuses to do nothing about it. From the beginning it was a "believe it when I see it" situation because I know she's an attention addict, so I don't believe I'm missing out on anything. I don't validate her lack of action by reaching out to her. I only let her text when she wants to.

          [–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 6 points7 points  (6 children)

          Life as a Lightdays Emotional TamponTM

          [–]FeeFeeFeaster 7 points8 points  (5 children)

          She knows not to take it outside the sexual realm, so I'll accept her incoming nudes when she sends them.

          [–]1cmkinusn 3 points4 points  (3 children)

          It seems like that is pretty much the same as a long-distance/online relationship? I guess if the effort is super minimal, getting nude photos might be worth it, but...is porn worth giving any time?

          [–]FeeFeeFeaster 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Put minimal effort into that situation and don't rearrange any plans in your real life that have the potential to develop into something tangible. (LDR is not considered real life IMO.)

          And by minimal effort, I entertain only sexually related topics with the girl mentioned previously. She can run to her fiance for her feelings.

          [–]1cmkinusn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Do you feel it constitutes porn? I guess if you do it the way you said, keep it to the minimum and practice moderation it can't hurt. Not an easy thing to balance, though, in my experience. Also, you realize it will likely never lead to anything solid right? She will probably always just feed you those photos and videos and sext you. My ex-wife did that shit all through my marriage, and from what I can tell it was all about attention and perversion.

          [–]FeeFeeFeaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          all about attention and perversion.

          Right. She claims to be a sex addict (and conveniently never mentioned it when she was renting a room from me), but note that I did clearly state above that she is an attention addict. My main point was just to be aware of a girl's availability before expecting anything.

          [–]ihateyouguys 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          How do you respond to the nudes? I feel like my responses are boring sometimes, and while they don't shut it down they definitely don't encourage any sort of "steady stream".

          [–]FeeFeeFeaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Nothing wrong with rewarding positive behavior. Her sending nudes is better than her not sending nudes. I reply with something like "you're filthy" and "always a good show" and it's encouraging enough for her apparently.

          Don't expect it to be the same with every girl. This one in particular has motivations to relieve herself of domestic boredom.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          [–]sourpuss_ashkenazi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          A pill that tastes like shit. but will lead to results.

          [–]douglas_yancie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          This post is right on time for a situation i just dealt with..she was trying to make me her orbiter with the long tooth promise of eventual sex i allowed her to lead me on for a while, but ingot fed up and dropped her this weekend and havent looked back.

          [–]PissedPajamas 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Awesome post, just what I needed after my thread on AskTRP

          [–]douglas_yancie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Me 2..fuck that bitch...i just hate i validated her as long as i did (almost a yr)..i feel like i still let her "win"

          [–]Masonjarteadrinker2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I got this one extremely attractive Cambodian girl that was my side girl a few years ago. Well her level of trying to kee me orbiting is u heard of, she even fucks me about twice a year just to keeping orbiting, amazing the lengths some will go through to keep you around.

          [–]stargrunt6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Reminds me of poker: don't be a "call girl," pump it or dump it. Or the stock market: never meddle in the middle.

          [–]tb87670 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Good post, useful in my exact situation I had less than a week ago. Keeping you around for validation bit is true, mine slowed down the physical then tried to keep me only 'as a friend until ready for dating again' whatever that is. I didn't bite. I walked. I mean this whole post is exactly what happened to me with my first plate in a nutshell, like you read my mind. Or a few of my posts....lol

          [–]94redstealth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Well timed sir. I am currently in a similar position and am currently utilizing the same plan of action you are suggesting.

          [–]CannotStopEver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is actually pretty good advice. If a girl acts like she doesn't want you anywhere near her? You're wasting your time.

          [–]erikoteh 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Good post man. It should be Guilded.

          [–]RedPillScare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Don't fucking gild shit here. Reddit gets money, and they hate this sub.

          [–]Ice_Hube 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I appreciate the insight in this post and your comment on my other post.

          [–]IASGame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This isn't new to people that have read the sidebar etc., but it is a well written post that was worth reading. Well done to the OP.

          [–]fizzyfuzzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Women do not keep their phone on silent. Ever. They have to be in the know about the latest social media shitpost.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]1KissTheBridesmaid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          ‘I don’t want to be in a relationship right now’ = ‘I don’t want a relationship with YOU’. What she is saying / communicating: ‘I’m really into you, I’m attracted to you etc. What her actions say: I am not attracted enough to you to want a relationship.' Maybe you were a rebound, maybe she needed to be validated after the breakup, who knows? It was just your turn. Move on. PROPERLY. Withdraw your validation.

          [–]pantsoffire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Move on emotionally.

          Wait for her to come round = Orbiter.

          Give her an ultimatum = You're not in a position to do so.

          Alternatively etc, etc. = Seriously man?

          We get it, you really like this girl. She's moving on. Do the same. Good luck.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          The fact that girls need to find value through sexuality and attraction is really sad. Is this a culturally thing, or is it part of human nature?

          [–]RacialRealism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          One thing I always think of when interacting with a girl is "How would she act if I was her favorite actor?" He'd have her complete undivided adoration and attention right? It's a reference frame. If her behaviour is not close to or similiar to this, she doesn't like you that much.

          [–]mightybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I've failed on this before, but this makes a lot of sense. If I replace "girl" with "boy", it applies well to the men I've met. Thanks for the advice!