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Red Pill TheoryDon't communicate; leave -- Communication is validation-seeking behavior (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

We often see questions that go something like, “My girlfriend did [insert shitty behavior]. How do I get her to stop?”

The misogynistic blue pill answer is, of course, to communicate with her. Tell her how you feel about her shitty behavior and why, and ask her to stop. Use your feelings to try to guilt and manipulate and coerce her into changing what she wants to do for your sake. Blue pill men are such manipulative cunts. Fucking misogynists.

However, the answer most shitty Red Pill advocates will give is even stupider. Communicate with her. Tell her that you don’t like her shitty behavior, and demand that she stop. Be an asshole about it. Threaten to dump her. Then post something stupid on the internet about how you were “alpha” for enforcing boundaries. Fucking morons.

“Communication” doesn’t work. Whether you’re asking or telling, you’re still communicating, and it doesn’t work. It’s still a negotiation. And you don’t negotiate with children or terrorists. (Women are an interesting mix of both.) I guess if you’re a pussy and need some toned down language: You don’t negotiate with disrespectful people who are handing you shitty behavior.

Women are not stupid. Women know the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. Women know that there are some things that good women don’t do, because it’s disrespectful to their men. If a woman is exhibiting shitty behavior, it’s not because she’s stupid and doesn’t know better. It’s not because you never told her not to. She doesn’t need to be told. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt.

If a woman is giving you shitty behavior, she is doing it because she doesn’t respect you and either thinks you’re a pussy who’s going to let her get away with it, or just doesn’t care if you leave because she doesn’t want you any more.

Communication is not the solution in that case. No matter how big of an asshole you are about it, how much you demand changes instead of asking politely, or how much you bluster and threaten. By communicating at all, you are whining. You are confirming that she is right to disrespect you. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt. Verbally confronting her about it is an admission that you can’t control this situation any other way. That you’re powerless and have to resort to asking her to grant you better behavior as a personal favor. Asking her impolitely instead of politely so you can call yourself a manly “Red Pill” man is irrelevant. You’re still begging a woman to do what you want.

Communication is validation-seeking behavior. By telling a girl to do something or to stop doing something, you are asking her to validate that she cares about your feelings by complying with your request. There are some circumstances under which seeking validation from a woman in this way is acceptable, such as commanding her to do something in the bedroom. But in day-to-day interactions, if you have to tell a woman to stop a shitty behavior (that she already damn well knows is shitty), you’re a pussy. You are communicating that you have no other options, so you have to resort to trying to salvage this shitty behavior instead of just leaving.

When a woman respects you, she behaves herself. Because she doesn’t want to risk screwing things up with a guy she respects. In fact, women who respect you are constantly going out of their way doing shit for you to demonstrate their qualities. You don’t have to tell a woman who respects you to behave herself or treat you better. She’s already doing it. Because women know how to be good partners, when they want to be.

When a woman is being shitty, just leave. No pussy is worth putting up with bullshit. You are better off with no female prospects whatsoever than with a shitty girlfriend. Having a shitty girlfriend is like having cancer. Most days, you feel okay and live your life, but in the back of your mind you know that something is slowly eating you alive. You invest a lot of your energy and resources to keep the shitty parts of your life at bay and enjoy the good ones, but as time goes on, it takes more and more out of you. You slowly get used to more and more shit until your life is actually kind of unpleasant. Having that shitty girlfriend tumor invading your organs becomes part of your identity. Your life.

When The Red Pill advises that men should not tolerate shitty behavior from women, it is not advocating that you should confront women and complain about their behavior, as you bluster and threaten and demand your way into looking like an even bigger pussy than you did when you were a blue pill guy. In response to shitty behavior, leave. Cut the cancer out of your life before it kills you.

Check out this and other content on The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.


[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 129 points130 points  (11 children)

So many men (I'm looking at you asktrp) would be better off following this advice.

One subtle point: leaving IS communicating, it's just the way men communicate, i.e. via action.

Men get into relationships via action, e.g. holding a woman's hand, putting his hand around her waist, going up to her and kissing her, etc. If a man asks verbally for permission to do all these things, he's going to look very weak and needy. This is exactly why the affirmative consent legislation is so messed up - they're forcing men to be unattractive by communicating intent verbally vs. through action.

Men should also leave relationships via action. Your woman is bitching at you on the phone? Hang up. Is she bitching at you in person? Get up and leave. Don't enter her frame by engaging. Demonstrate via action that her behavior is unacceptable and that you're off to explore other options.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 37 points38 points  (5 children)

tldr communicate through action, not words

[–]banginasgard 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Almost like how we shouldn't trust a woman's words, only her actions.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Notice how women already realize this subconsciously. They know their actions don't correlate with their words, so why would they expect that to be true of men. It's no secret why communicating with actions is far more effective. You're suddenly speaking her language.

[–]pbj_sammichez 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense - women use words to achieve a desired result, not to communicate a concrete idea. They then project that female behavior onto men and expect us to do the same. Like a bumper sticker I once saw - "Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or just don't trust women at all.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–]1RXRob 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    If they can convince all of the weak men to act like it then they'll have an easier time separating the Chad's from the Charles'

    [–]nevva_Again 249 points250 points  (37 children)

    Women are not stupid. Women know the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. Women know that there are some things that good women don’t do, because it’s disrespectful to their men. If a woman is exhibiting shitty behavior, it’s not because she’s stupid and doesn’t know better. It’s not because you never told her not to. She doesn’t need to be told. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt.

    This needs to be etched into the brain of every man.

    WOMEN ARE NOT STUPID.

    They always know what they are doing. They know when they're behaving well, and when they're being bitchy. THEY KNOW.

    Among their girlfriends, they boast and laugh about how bitchy they are to their husbands and how they make them beg for sex. In fact, many of them are even aware of their hamster.

    Have you ever wondered why they do a complete 180 and put on their best behaviour the moment you start dreading them? Because they know they were treating you badly all along.

    These bitches aren't stupid. They know! They fucking know know what they're doing every moment. Never excuse or hamster away their bad behaviour.

    u/Archwinger. You are a genius.

    [–]yaysmr 35 points36 points  (5 children)

    They know what they're doing, but they don't know why they're doing it.

    And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

    This is why I don't really blame them for their behavior. Just recognize it, expect it, and account for it.

    [–]nevva_Again 31 points32 points  (1 child)

    And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

    Oh they can. They can choose to put on good behaviour. Ask Chad, he'll tell you how sweet and submissive your bitchy wife is to him.

    The only reason why they continue to be bitchy is because there are no consequences for being a bitchy wife in the western world. The state, police and family courts encourage them to become bitchier. They have no incentive to put on good behaviour.

    Women are only as shitty as you let them.

    [–]marty2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

    Oh they can. They can choose to put on good behaviour. Ask Chad, he'll tell you how sweet and submissive your bitchy wife is to him.

    The reason she treats Chad better than her husband is that he is alpha and her husband is beta. It's not really a choice, it's a biological reaction to different types of stimuli. So exactly as the other guy said, she doesn't know why she treats him better, and she could never force herself to treat her sweet hubby like that hot, ripped guy from the bar, but she is aware she's doing it.

    [–]Regularguygamebrah 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    No. In general, perhaps. From the horses mouth, a hot 5'0" 95lb HB8 "things are going to well w me and Chad. it's getting boring. I need to throw a wrench in it" then she started fucking the guy across the hall and inviting me, her brothers best friend, to sleep over. AND DONT YOU KNOW I answer the door one night in my boxers after fuckkn one of her roommates and Chad gets PISSED. THEY KNOW. Don't let yourself hamster it away.

    [–]UncleSniffy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I would argue that them trying not to would make it even harder

    [–][deleted]  (22 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 22 points23 points  (2 children)

      Am I the only one that LOL'd at the Rubio meta reference?

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Didn't get past me, I had a good laugh as well

      [–]j0hnan0n 26 points27 points  (14 children)

      TL;DR Bring on the hatemail and the downvotes!

      I'm not convinced that this is universal. Some women are genuinely ignorant that some of their behavior isn't optimal, due to solipsism. If a woman isn't genuinely aware of other people in the universe, they can't know that their behavior is wrong in relation to those other people.

      source: I've dated women that were raised under strict traditional gender roles, and neither change behaviors when with me, nor change behaviors away from me, nor do they try to hamster or excuse their behavior, whether it's good or bad. Some women have simply never gotten the correct inputs (corrections) for their behavior in order to guide them in the correct direction. This doesn't excuse what they do. It simply informs WHY they do what they do.

      No offense, but by saying that all "bitches aren't stupid" you're giving them way, WAAAAY more credit than they deserve. People are stupid. Bitches fall within the category of stupid. Ergo, at least some bitches ARE stupid.

      Bring on the hatemail and the downvotes!

      [–]Stythe 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      A lot of TRP stuff can be boiled down to people's intelligence. I find struggle tends to lead to greater intelligence or at least awareness, so often women can afford to be ignorant while men can't. That said, it's better to assume they know, I find.

      [–]j0hnan0n 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      See, THAT makes perfect sense. Almost exactly the same as what I do: act as if they know (or should know) even if they might not. Makes it much easier to train better behaviors. "What's that, Suzy? Why am I acting this way? Because you should be acting this way, and you really ought to know it by know. I'll forgive it this time, but you'll pay in pain next time. [smack on the ass]"

      [–]Stythe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I've started adopting a two strike plan gor basic shit. Basically you get one fuck up. After that, you fuck off.

      I'm fine with people needing a whike to learn complicated things but when it comes to basic decency, no dice. You get one slip. I'm not sure how it'll work out or how I'll tweak it yet, but I'm tired of dealing with stupidity and disrespect.

      [–]j0hnan0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Seems reasonable to me. Have an upvote.

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      I thought the male hamster was a myth!

      [–]NobleShitLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I lol'd at this one pretty hard. Thanks for the laugh. Here's an up vote.

      [–]squidracer -1 points0 points  (6 children)

      Even stupid women know how to behave..

      [–]j0hnan0n 11 points12 points  (5 children)

      Blatantly false. Smart women know how to behave. Stupid women don't.

      Alternatively, how do you define the difference between smart women and stupid women? I'm also interested in your definition of the difference between smart men and stupid men.

      Have an upvote.

      [–]squidracer 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      I've dated stupid women before. They know what they can and cannot get away with..

      Hell, even women with disabilities or down syndrome know how to fucking behave

      [–]j0hnan0n 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      You mean you've dated women you THOUGHT were stupid before, yet still interpreted them to 'know' what they can and can't get away with. They can be acting on instincts without knowing what they're reacting to, and without knowing how they're reacting.

      Still waiting on your definitions...

      [–]squidracer -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

      I get the impression girls walked all over you and you just assumed they were stupid instead of realizing it was you

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Exactly my thought. He's rationalizing shitty behavior towards him.

      No my friend, people don't have shitty attitudes because they don't know any better, people have shitty attitudes when they know they can get away with it.

      I've had some of the biggest cunts of women be little giggly kids when I'm around, they switch from ersatz men to giggly feminine jello in an instant.

      If some woman walked all over you it's unlikely it was because she didn't know any better - she probably didn't have one ounce of respect for you, accept that and improve yourself - don't sit over there rationalizing like a dumb bitch.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nah, women just shit test. They test, they poke, they push their boundaries for ALL MEN. They don't want to make their alphas into beta men, they are checking if this is the real true alpha. Most of the time it's not, and these weak men slowly reveal their facade.

      [–]1PantsonFire1234 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Women are stupid, they just ain't retarded. Big difference.

      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      dread is an example of an option that lies between doing nothing and the nuclear option, which is precisely what he's arguing doesn't exist. That you should just leave:

      When a woman is being shitty, just leave

      So far from being a genius he's arguing for the wrong thing, which is nuclear only. Nuclear only is for insecurity. By all means be prepared to and be able to go nuclear. You gotta be like a samurai.

      Everyone knew that they were prepared to die if necessary. They held the nuclear option. Because it was clear that they were prepared to use the nuclear option, they didn't have to use the nuclear option. But they didn't just run around going fucking mental at the slightest provocation. No warrior ever did. Because that is a great losing strategy over the long haul. Successful warriors win.

      Gotta read some Sun Tzu and what you get out of that is that every situation has the right response. If a King only had the nuclear option he'd round up anyone who challenged his authority and he'd have them executed. At worst this ends up with the King assassinated. At best it lets you be king of a shitty ostracized country like North Korea. You get to be king of shit, which is a losing strategy.

      Knowing and mastering your options and being proportional in your responses is the key to winning.

      [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      This is a tricky topic. On the one hand, archwinger is completely right that no pussy is worth putting up with bullshit. On the other, every girl, actually, every person comes with heaps of bullshit. Any relationship you have, male or female, business or sexual, is going to have its fair share of bullshit. You have to assess your options. In the sexual marketplace plates are a dime a dozen. So if she's making your life more difficult than it should be, leave. But, this post is pretty uninformative about what to do when you want to treat bad behavior that is coming from someone who either

      a) otherwise enriches your life.

      b) you cannot simply boot from your existence.

      At some point you're going to have to deal with this sort of behavior if you want satisfying LTRs or even longer term FWB relationships. The proper way to deal with it can be dread (particularly effective in exclusive relationships) or by simply having the right attitude. You don't have to leave entirely and forever, but you can check out mentally and firmly show (through actions) that you don't deal with that bullshit, and for the love of god you have to call out girls on their bullshit. The best point archwinger makes in this post is that women know when they're giving you bullshit.

      [–]disgruntledearthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes, this. Soft next needs to be an option. You can employ behavioral modification methods (softing, ignoring, absenting) without direct communication and without 'giving' yourself up as you would with overt communications. Of course, the hard next always needs to be the ace in your sleeve.

      [–]redkick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      this post is pretty uninformative about what to do when you want to treat bad behavior that is coming from someone who […] b) you cannot simply boot from your existence.

      That's pretty easy to infer, though: Fix whatever causes you to be chained to this person. If you don't have the option to walk away, you don't have the most important weapon at your disposal.

      [–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Women are stupid, they just ain't retarded. Big difference.

      [–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 80 points81 points  (2 children)

      Good post. When in doubt, less is more. Whether it be communication, validation, anything with a woman, less is more. Because the more you talk, the more thirsty you look, and the drier she will get.

      Takes me back to my blue pill days. When I was such a beta faggot that would overinvest into my oneitis, push her away, and wonder where the hell I went wrong. I always blamed it on lack of communication, and thought that I could always make things better or make things work by simply sitting down and talking with her. Guess what? It never did. I just dug the hole deeper. Every time.

      It's why I hate the relationshits subreddits(and other garbage subs like them like OKCupid or TwoX), because almost all the time their solution is "You just need to communicate" or "You just need better communication". Communication is for women. It's feminine. It's entering the female frame. The best way to communicate is by not communicating.

      [–]8n0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good post. When in doubt, less is more.

      I prefer my rhyming style:

      'If in doubt, go without.'

      Such thought has predated trp but I like how /u/Archwinger has articulated it in such detail.

      [–]1StoicCrane -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      The reason why Tinder , social media, and online dating apps are trash for most men. They're all geared to the feminine imperative. RP men speak through action.

      [–]dking168 53 points54 points  (6 children)

      Go on the internet and tell people you were "alpha" for enforcing the boundaries.

      That made me laugh

      [–]Specter242 11 points12 points  (5 children)

      LOOL who does this?

      If you have to tell people you are alpha, you are not alpha.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

      I've seen it a lot. There was a recent thread that was highly upvoted where a guy basically did just that.

      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      This is why you have to really pick and choose what you believe on here. Brag reports and over-zealous "alpha-ness" can sometimes get too much support. It's natural. You're told your beta tendencies are holding you back, so it's easy to think that 100% alpha is good. So some guy goes out and finds the most AWALTy woman alive, treats her like shit, and reports back that, "red pill totally works guys." It's way easier to believe that you have to do a 180 to get women than it is to realize you have to strike a perfect balance between pure alpha and whatever you started as.

      [–]Red_SL4 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      That's why I focus on reading all the top post of all time down to 400 upvotes. It will give me a better idea of TRP than just reading the daily submissions.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Even upvotes aren't a great indicator of what's great content. At any given moment TRP is like the gym in January. Most of the guys here are newbies. I say find a few users/endorsed guys who seem completely reasonable and take a look at their posts. Establish your own beliefs and validate them with your own real world experience (that means getting off Reddit, sometimes for months at a time. I haven't submitted an individual post in months). Then come back for more.

      [–]Dante_Faria 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      That's not what communication means, to communicate is...to put it simply...to transmit a message through a channel, what others call communicate is to supplicate, there is a difference.

      We do communicate a message, (that we are not bitches, for example) but we use a different language or it is better to say we communicate through actions.

      We know that it is not possible to negotiate attraction, so we do not supplicate for it. When you say we do not communicate, that is a mistake.

      There is no need to validate the concept this other people use to communicate, it will be better to refute the word, when they say communicate they mean to supplicate, to beg. To be an effective communicator is an asset, you get your point across and avoid unnecesary drama, but we are not beggars.

      [–]gannex 14 points15 points  (4 children)

      This is really really good advice. Two years ago I was involved in an extremely bad relationship with an emotionally and physically abusive woman. Unfortunately, I was really attached to her. She was the first girl I'd dated that I connected with both intellectually and sexually to a satisfying degree. I was very attracted to her, and I felt like I could talk with her 'like a friend'. The only problem was she liked to treat me extremely cruelly from time to time.

      She was the kind of person that would make you feel like a million bucks if she wanted your approval. She had a way of making people feel good about themselves as a means of getting them to like her. She would do this to anyone that she wanted to acquire as an ally.

      Unfortunately, during her tantrums and abusive behaviour, I would always try to console and conform her. I had this idea in my head that I needed to resolve whatever conflict was happening right away so that it wouldn't come up again right away the next time I saw her. This is dead wrong. If I had just walked away and refused to provide this sort of validation, she would've cried herself out, realized she was being a bitch, and called me up a day or so later, probably with the desire to please me and pad my ego. Whenever she felt that she had anybody's friendship unconditionally she would automatically start to treat them like shit, but if you ignored her, she'd be full of nothing but praise and compliments.

      That relationship seriously damaged my life. I know if I'd just ignored her shit and went home whenever she acted like that, she wouldn't have done half the awful shit she did to me. In fact I'd probably still be having wild sex with her from time to time.

      [–]SubbaHubba 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      I can tell from this post that your mother is an emotionally unavailable vampire.

      Read about borderline personality disorder. Your ex is a special case of a cunt. Not only is she a woman, which all come prepackaged with special quirks, she is a damaged cunt beyond repair.

      [–]gannex 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      yeah she was diagnosed with borderline. She managed to have a Dr. change the diagnosis to high functioning autism for the sympathy, but I found out about the original BPD diagnosis from her former psychologist, whom I befriended. The psychologist told me that she actually considered her to be a sociopath and had warned several professors and administrators about her behaviour at my school.

      My mom isn't emotionally unavailable though. She's more on and off angry/overly nice. We did have a pretty messed up relationship up until a few years ago, though, and I fully understand that my attraction to BPD women stems from that.

      All this aside, ignoring outbursts is a good way to interact with borderliners, but it applies to neurotypical women as well. Many pathological traits instilled in 'normal' women by Western society/media very much resemble BPD.

      [–]Stythe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This was the same as my ex. It fucks with you hard. When it ended I felt broken and kept an emotional wall up for a ling time. I eventually learned why it happened and traced the fault to my lack of boundaries and was able to figured oit where they came from, but man was that rough. I feel for you dude.

      [–]Countpudyoola 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      I always wonder why communication is always seen as synonymous with verbal communication or directly addressing questions w/o fogging or a.a/a.m..

      Agree and amplify during a "serious" question = communicating she needs to lighten up and drop it.

      Leaving during shit test = communication.

      [–]BlackJ1 29 points30 points  (1 child)

      You really seem to hit the right places when it comes to posts like these.

      The feeling of being powerless is a man's worst feeling. A lot of men don't admit it, but they feel like they are powerless in relationships and that their actions simply don't matter. That's actually not true, you are more powerful than a woman will ever be in a relationship.

      This is where we see the control vs leading battle.

      When a woman acts up:

      A controlling man will scold/hurt her it hopes of getting her to act right.

      A leading man will walk away as he has set boundaries for himself. He refuses to be with a woman who acts up. The strongest position a man can be in, is one he can walk away from.

      Again great posts, hope to hear from you again.

      [–]itsemalkay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Great advice actually. Thank you.

      [–]ButteredPastry 12 points13 points  (5 children)

      Funny, I was trying to communicate with my LTR not long ago, and I got sick that all she wanted to do was cuddle instead of listening so I jumped out of the bed and she immediately freaked out, started crying, and grabbed one of my shoes so that I wouldn't leave.

      [–]AncientScrolls 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      So if I follow everyone's line of thought that "its impossible to communicate with woman through words" it means texting, internet and skype only make matters worse. If I want to keep my bitches in control I have to be physically present and do stuff that Ensures her best behavior.

      I wonder if deep down we know we cant make them do what we want by communication. How do we keep our women in control if we are distant?

      [–]kittenssavedmylife 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      You don't. Anything other than face to face interaction is for logistics. Read the sidebar.

      [–]polu85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You can't keep a woman in control. You can only make her want to keep herself in control for you. It means overtly communicating your wants and needs doesn't work. You don't like her behavior, you don't communicate this to her. You ignore her, leave, etc.

      [–]Stythe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I went crazy at one point with an ex and grabbed my guitar to leave and go be by myself for a while. She dropped her tantrums and tried to not make me go until I gave her a look that said I'm going. Then she 180'd, packed me snacks and wished me off. That was a weird one that makes sense in retrospect.

      [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      you don’t negotiate with children or terrorists

      Absolutely.

      She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt.

      Totally this. She already knows. She's only denying it to pretend to be innocent of the crime of knowing what she's actually doing.

      When a woman is being shitty, just leave.

      Oh god this works... this works SO WELL. The trick is to leave quietly, silently, and non-negotiably. You pack up and leave. The only thing you say is "goodbye" and you only say this if she didn't notice you packing up and leaving (eg she's in a different room and is stupid). You don't pause, you don't turn around, you don't shout, you don't complain, you just LEAVE.

      Communication is just you saying "I am open to this being acceptable". They love the drama, the attention, the discussion. Which is why nothing ever changes as a result of it.

      Because women know how to be good partners, when they want to be.

      Oh they totally do. Every time. They just choose to be shitty little cunts because men let them. And they're children. So they push boundaries and have no responsibility to themselves or anyone else around them.

      Caveat: it's ok to see them again, you're not necessarily dumping them for good. You're establishing boundaries by removing yourself from shitty situations.

      [–]Fergatron 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      How does this work if the woman is at your house when the shitty behaviour happens. Do you tell her to leave? How does that dynamic work?

      [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Blank her in the first instance.

      After that take her out for icecream, and then don't give her a lift home ;)

      [–][deleted]  (4 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]IoSonCalaf 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      I know it's been said, but women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to commitment.

      [–]Horus_Krishna_2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      a little give and take. give sex, and keep it good, and i'll give commitment. when one ends, the other does too. and don't add stuff like the crazy complaining, that makes it an unequal arrangement.

      [–]JackGetsIt 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      your only power in a relationship - is the ability to walk away.

      Which is why marriage and especially kids is such a bad idea. You've given up your only power and women know this.

      [–]blasted_biscuits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It can't be stressed enough. The only card you can play is your ability to walk away. If you do it right, that card will be always hanging over her head and she'll understand she needs to do what she needs to do to retain you. Start doing shit like talking about your feelings and she'll pick up on your need for validation and know you aren't going anywhere. AWALT.

      [–]Kwantuum 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      This is not only true for women. If people act disrespectful to you, they're not valuing your presence and you should leave. Either because they thought they could get away with disrespecting you, or because they genuinely don't value you. In the first case, you leaving will send the message that if they want the value you provide they will have to respect you, and in the second case you really shouldn't be around people that don't value you.

      Understanding that people only need to respect you when they need something from you also helps you appreciate much more when someone who has no need to be respectful to you is respectful regardless.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      I was just over at a plate's apartment. We fucked earlier today but I left to go to the gym with a friend. Then she invited me over again. I figured it was for another round so I agreed to meet her after I ate. When I got there she was not DTF. She said something along the lines of, "No, you don't get an all access pass. Tonight you're here to cuddle with me. We can fuck in the morning."

      I got no notice that she expected me to stay the night. Now, I'm a believer in a mix of alpha and beta traits, so I like to cloak alpha actions with beta words. It keeps the hamster spinning, and it's what has allowed me to keep her strictly as a plate since February (which is far longer than a pure alpha strategy can typically keep a plate). So I tell her if she wanted me to stay the night she needed to let me know. I've got meds I need to take (recently got surgery) and I want to go through my nightly routine, not fall asleep in my underwear in an apartment 15 minutes away from my car.

      So I punished her bad behavior by leaving, but I gave her hamster plenty to chew on. On the one hand, I'm clearly not willing to stick around if sex isn't on the table. On the other, she's got no one but herself to blame, since after all she didn't tell me she wanted me to stay the night and I do have to take my meds. We both know deep down that I could easily take my meds in the morning and deal with sleeping over, but there's just enough doubt there that she can hamster her way into thinking I'm using her for more than just sex.

      [–]bossdoggington 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, don't put up with shitty behavior or validate it by communicating. When a baby is being a baby ignore her. When she comes to you, then ask what's bothering her. She'll either come out with the root of her animosity, or you'll ignore her again. She will learn fast.

      [–]cantFindValidNam 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I like the analysis but the advice seems a little too extreme. Basically what you're saying amounts to: "if she's not having perfect behavior she absolutely is not worth of your time". It seems to me that you can be Brad fucking Pitt and that would still not be a reasonable expectation. Plus shitty behavior can be a shit test, we don't run away from these do we?

      [–]1Entropy-7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Asserting yourself does not validate her, it validates you. If she still chooses to be a shitty cunt after you have told her that you know she is being a shitty cunt and you will not tolerate it, then that is when you leave.

      No PUA would say the proper response to a shit test is to leave: maybe that increases your respect in her eyes, but you will never know because you are gone. You ignore, you agree & amplify, or you call them on it. Soft next is a cold war and hard next is the nuclear option.

      Yes, they probably know they are being shitty but they don't always know who they are dealing with. Tell them, and then back it up with action if they are too stupid to accept that.

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (5 children)

      Excellent post, good point.

      There are several reasons why communication doesn't work. First, women talk, men act. When you communicate and you talk, and "process" what she did in an effort to get her to see how that affects your relationship and how it hurt your feelings and you don't want it to happen again, you're not acting. You're talking. If you're talking, you're not doing anything. Talking and verbal communication are the province of the female.

      The verbal communication you find on The Red Pill is not just talking for its own sake. Men are expected to talk and discuss, and then do what is discussed. When women talk and discuss, it's to hash out feelings and emotions, and "process" and "figure it out" so everyone can feel good and validated and affirmed, and then.... no one ever does anything about what was just talked about and discussed. Women then go back to doing whatever it was they were doing before, until the next time it's time to "talk" or "have a discussion", and then next time some girl's feathers get ruffled, and then they hash out feelings, and process, and talk about it again.

      Second: Talking inevitably leads to discussing emotions and feelings. When you do this, you're stepping completely out of your frame and into hers. You're combatting on foreign soil. Feelings and emotions are completely her territory, not yours. A man never wins here. A man never wins an argument or changes a relationship to his advantage by discussing his emotions and feelings. It will always be twisted into her feelings, about how she felt, about what happened to her. At best, she will interpret as weakness your talking about your feelings and emotions, and will view you as being as good a female as she is. She will lose attraction for you, because she doesn't want to have sex with or be married to a woman. She wants to fuck and marry a man.

      [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

      Men are expected to talk and discuss, and then do what is discussed. When women talk and discuss, it's to hash out feelings and emotions, and "process" and "figure it out" so everyone can feel good and validated and affirmed, and then.... no one ever does anything about what was just talked about and discussed.

      My wife was pissed off about something stupid. I told her to get her priorities straight, which just made her angrier.

      So I asked her, "What is it about this situation that makes you the angriest?"

      "Everything."

      "Well, pick one thing for now. Is it" then I listed a few obvious things I knew were pissing her off, along with a softball.

      She picked the one weakest item on my list (my softball) to point out that I didn't know or understand anything and was stupid.

      "So it's not that. It's that I'm stupid and don't understand?"

      "Yes."

      "Okay."

      "Okay?"

      "Yeah. Feel better?"

      "No."

      "Yeah, calling people names doesn't help [daughter's name] feel better either."

      We then laughed for a bit about our kid, and everything was fine after that. Because she actually did feel better after talking. She just wanted to be listened to. She still hasn't solved that problem and never will, because it's a stupid non-problem.

      [–]morphite65 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      She still hasn't solved that problem and never will, because it's a stupid non-problem.

      Whoa that's an epiphany for me, thanks. Her "problems" are usually temporary, transient states just like her emotions.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Damn, this may be why TRP likens women to children. The emotional and logical maturity is severely lacking.

      [–]2Archterus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Correct, particularly the second point. One of the great traps for men who are sent to ' counselling' or 'therapy' with a female, and often sadly a BP male therapist is that they are expected to communicate LIKE A WOMAN. 'How do you feel' about this or that. If they cant then we have found our problem, you just cant communicate. The bloke is then shamed and the problems laid at his feet. This must be guarded against. When I do therapy with men I try to make it as accountable and actionable as possible, reinforcing the positive features of masculine coping and communication. Shit gets called, not airbrushed.

      Be very careful of entering the den of the lioness!

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Yeah. I mean, all men are told this: "Well, the two of you just need to learn how to communicate better." "Better communication where you talk about your feelings and your desires/hopes/dreams will always improve your marriage."

      Translated, this is:

      "You, the man, are at fault here. You are not listening to her and you're not giving her what she wants. You need to listen to her and give her whatever she wants. You need to do what she wants, not do what she doesn't want, be what she wants and not be what she doesn't want. If you do these things, then you will be "communicating better" and your relationship/marriage will improve."

      [–]taracus 20 points21 points  (5 children)

      In my opinion (and limited experience) women will behave as badly as you let them, no matter how much she "respects" you. She will try and push the boundaries and shit-test you to see what she can and cant get away with.

      Your idea of "not communicating and just leave" seems appropriate if she cheats or something similar, but I find it almost naive to think that you wont have to tell your woman what is and what is not OK behaviour.

      [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

      I suppose in a sense, you're still "communicating".

      Women know what is and is not respectful behavior. There are some things that you simply shouldn't have to tell a woman not to do.

      By acting disrespectfully, a woman is "communicating" with you -- just not overtly. She is saying, "I think you're a loser."

      If you overtly communicate back by confronting her, you're agreeing that you're a loser.

      By leaving, ignoring, blowing off, etc., instead of confronting her about her behavior, you are covertly "communicating" that you are not a loser and she's on thin ice.

      [–]FeeFeeFeaster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      There are some things that you simply shouldn't have to tell a woman not to do.

      Correct. We're talking about supposed adults here. If they haven't been raised to know right from wrong, or haven't otherwise figured it out by adulthood, it ain't coming. Being pointless to try to fix that behavior, move on.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      That is a good point. I mean I always cringe at the threads where a guy is going out with a woman and she's flirting right in front of him and he still thinks the relationship can be saved. I mean, women know this is disrespectful. It's tough because if you say nothing when she does that or keeps texting other guys, you look like a doormat. Although, dread or keeping distance is a good subtle way to let her know that she messed up.

      [–]morphite65 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This would be using the hamster in your favor, now she's trying her best to make up for what she thinks she did wrong. It could almost be a test on your part, notice if you get distant she will assume she displeased you somehow (or you find out that she doesn't care, at which point NEXT)

      [–]2Overkillengine 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Exactly. Women are adults, and have agency. Women that are fully vested in a relationship pay about as much attention to external males (branch offers) as men will to a 300 lb chick at the bar when they have a spinner at home - polite disinterest is the best they will get. Behaving otherwise is a red flag.

      Act accordingly. And be prepared for all sorts of emotional and social blackmail when you dare to treat a woman as a person having agency, and thus responsibility for her actions and the attending consequences.

      [–]nsareadsmyemails 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This should be a #1 stickie post. Nuggets like this don't get dropped on RP on a daily. Damn this nigga knows his shit! Kudos.

      [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Yup, said it before. Next time she does something shitty, leave for an hour. double it every time she does another one, half it for sexual performance.

      I'll bet you see things clear up, or you get a lot more free time to do shit

      [–]BigAjax -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This. Some shitty behavior is a deal-breaker on the spot. Plenty of other things demand you to temporarily remove from her the reward of your presence/attention and to give yourself the reward of some free time, peace and quiet, etc. Eventually, either she's been reinforced to behave like a civilized human being or you cut out the cancer cluster. All this communicating, even "from an alpha frame," is just chickenshit negotiation. The second a woman gets you talking about your fee-fees or your principles or anything like that, you're cooked.

      [–]Drogba006 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Women aren't communicators, they're yappers, yapping their mouths about nothing. They just talk to fill the air

      [–]KimJongUntzUntz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Back before I swallowed the pill, and I would get into a heated arguments with LTRs, when ever I would try and leave it was always the same song and dance...

      They would try and stop me. They would block the door. They would take my keys. They would physically grab on me...they would do anything to keep me there.

      Why? Because women LOVE the senseless spinning of the wheels that is arguing. They know yelling and screaming is you breaking frame big time, and they will do everything to keep the drama meter at 100.

      [–]Stythe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This one is funny but true. I had an ex threaten me all dramatically after an argument by saying "That's it, we're done. It's OVER!!" So I pointed behind me aND said "There's the door." I've never seen anyone 180 so quickly. It was insane to see at the time.

      [–]MAX_Fury 13 points14 points  (6 children)

      So if a woman is showing bad behavior .. just leave and find another woman. Then the cycle repeats. So "anytime" any woman is showing bad behavior .. just get up and leave. There is no way that a woman at any point in time in a relationship will not show shitty behavior. That means men have to be on their toes 24/7 about not fucking up. Quite the work for some pussy.

      [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

      Look at it this way:

      Situation 1:

      Woman is being a bitch. Man tells her to stop being a bitch. Woman stops being a bitch for about 30 seconds. Woman goes back to being a bitch. Man tells her to stop being a bitch. Woman says she'll stop and doesn't. Man tells her to stop being a bitch. Woman ignores him and keeps being a bitch. Man tells her to stop being a bitch. Woman laughs at him.

      Situation 2:

      Woman is being a bitch. Man shrugs, walks out, and fucks her best friend. Woman gets really mad and dumps him. Two weeks later, she comes crawling back and never misbehaves again.

      [–]RedEyesBlueShades 13 points14 points  (3 children)

      Situation 2:

      Woman is being a bitch. Man shrugs, walks out, and fucks her best friend. Woman gets really mad and dumps him. Two weeks later, she comes crawling back and never misbehaves again.

      In other words, woman fucks up, man reacts (somehow) and then takes woman back.

      I don't know where the fine line is, but at some point man must walk out never to turn back. It's the only way woman might actually learn something.

      Alas, the irony is that it's woman's next man that will enjoy the benefit of man's "teaching".

      [–]Horus_Krishna_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      what if every man some day is red pill again (they were hundreds of years ago). only bright side, worlds not perfect but is getting better. glass half full.

      [–]acetylcysteine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      i dont think its safe to assume that she learnt anything and that the next men will see any benefit from the lesson. she could more than likely continue these antics until she finds a man that will put up with it.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      she could more than likely continue these antics until she finds a man that will put up with it.

      The definition of crazy: do things the same way and expecting different results.

      [–]NeoreactionSafe 7 points8 points  (10 children)

      There was a post recently where a guy talked about how he had asked his girlfriend many times why things went the way they did and if she could agree to something else and the tone just screamed out that she was the one in control.

      You need to just have the mental model of Captain.

      It's in effect the role you play as a masculine male.

      This doesn't mean it's fake, but that like you might assume a job title you "are" acting within the confines of the role you are in.

      The woman then has a feminine role and feminine polarity which she gets into.

      These roles exist and have existed for thousands and thousands of years because they reflect the underlying biology that matches the role being played.

      Masculine polarity doesn't just materialize out of nowhere. It's a conscious choice on your part to "grow up" into this role.

      You in effect are assuming the father role, the leader, the head of household.

      If she is unwilling to play her role then Next her. There are women who desire to maximize their natural tendencies and though many are embarrassed to admit it they prefer being female over trying to pretend they are male.

      Despite all of Feminism the biology still drives all of us to fulfill our most natural tendencies which are masculine and feminine.

       

      [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (9 children)

      From a few weeks ago:

      "I showed my girlfriends your text. They kind of got mad you were telling me what to do. But I don't know, it's refreshing that you know what you want to do. I'm tired of hearing 'Well what do you wanna do?' from guys. You just tell me. I like it."

      What's eye opening isn't so much what she said, but that she was ashamed to admit she enjoyed the feminine role I put her in.

      [–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (8 children)

      This whole Feminist thing was planned... literally planned... as a kind of human population control.

      The logic was that if you taught people dysfunctional ideas and habits and invert all the laws related to marriage and family that you would reduce the rate of population growth.

      It's like they added poison into the system.

      Both sexes actually biologically desire healthy masculine and feminine roles, but it's very difficult to break through the Blue Pill mythology that prevents us from living as we could.

      You have found a "glitch" in the Matrix.

       

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        The plan is to make everyone believe it's a random accident... stupidity.

        And for many that Game has been a success.

        The secret to magic is to hide how it is done.

         

        [–]Horus_Krishna_2 1 point2 points  (4 children)

        it's a good idea to reduce population . . . not in this way tho.

        [–]NeoreactionSafe -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        Think of when these programs began after WWII.

        The earth was becoming overpopulated yet there were only something like 2 billion people on the planet at the time.

        Nuclear weapons are plentiful and still to this day can destroy all human life several times over. (10,000 nukes each for US and Russia... however not all on active status anymore)

        The globalists want to eliminate or reduce the population, but not screw up their survival. A absolute nuclear war might mean they die along with everyone else.

        So this information warfare began to increase and the Blue Pill is now a weapon designed to create internal confusion (Androgyny) that disrupts human reproduction.

        Civilizations are then manipulated to attack each other.

        The Baphomet (Blue Pill) is set against the Islamic.

        Ultimately all the wars will bring about chaos and a major depopulation event will occur and afterwards the globalists walk out of their bunkers and rebuild a society much like the Hunger Games.

        The Hunger Games was derived from some of the actual future visions of a post-WWIII scenario.

         

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (10 children)

        About a month ago I was out to dinner with my wife. We just sat down and ordered and I asked her why she made some decision that I cant even remember now and she flipped out and said I was acting like an asshole.

        I stood up and said goodnight and walked out. She texted immediately that she had not brought her purse and needed help. I replied thar I only help people who treat me respectfully and turned off my phone.

        Came back 24 hours later after not answering any calls or texts. Fucked her silly and didn't bring it up again

        [–]thop89 13 points14 points  (3 children)

        What a messed up relationship.

        I personally don't want to be with a woman who forces me to such drastic, kinda stupid behaviour.

        "Flipping out", "disrespecting" — wtf. Sometimes I think the majority of this sub just have shitty, messed up, emotional defective woman. But instead to dump them they are applying RP strategies to hold them.

        You probably think you "won" this situation with her, because you got some pussy in the end. I wouldn't even wanna fuck a woman who is disrespecting me in public. I have some self respect.

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

        Yup, I'd walk if it didn't affect my kids. They would be raised by whatever losers she parades around.

        Instead, I do whatever I want and that includes other women.

        Finding TRP late puts a man in quite a conundrum and my strategy is to be so fucking awesome that the world accommodates my frame 100%

        [–]thop89 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Now I understand you.

        We are on the same journey, bro!

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        Have to ask, how did she solve it?

        I hate cliffhangers.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        She said she spoke to the manager and explained the situation (probably my husband is abusive etc etc) and then went home to get wallet. I gave zero fucks.

        The only thing I'll say now that you got me thinking about it is that I was being kind of an asshole. I also remember my exact words were "figure it out. I help people who are respectful"

        Hey, its a free country and no one is making her stick it out. Plenty of fat, thirsty, bastards out there she could manipulate if she wants to go. Every few months I remind her that the door is wide open

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        It's like the saying goes, she won't leave if you are mean, she will leave if you are boring.

        definitely not boring.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        They have to pry women away from men who beat them with fists.

        Yet, a respectful, honest, man who plays by the rules he was taught gets DRaped, Bankrupted, and DeadBedRoomed.

        [–]thewrightstuff88 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        It all comes down to her consumption of your time and attention, which you could be using to improve yourself, but instead are "communicating" with her, without actual communication happening. Sure, we use our words to get the point across but when that fails, which it will with women, action is necessary. This means, as mentioned above, making yourself scarce, removing her source of validation/attention, and reminding her that you are free to move on with or without her (don't get married). This elicits fear of loss in her and will ultimately lead to respect because in the end, it's all about power and who has more. You get married/have one-itis/pedestalize her, she has the power. You show (through action), that you can move on at the drop of a hat (have your finger over the "nuclear" option at all times), that she means nothing to you because you can get someone else, that she isn't the center of your universe, you have the power.

        [–]nsareadsmyemails 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Communication is not the solution in that case. No matter how big of an asshole you are about it, how much you demand changes instead of asking politely, or how much you bluster and threaten. By communicating at all, you are whining. You are confirming that she is right to disrespect you. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt. Verbally confronting her about it is an admission that you can’t control this situation any other way. That you’re powerless and have to resort to asking her to grant you better behavior as a personal favor. Asking her impolitely instead of politely so you can call yourself a manly “Red Pill” man is irrelevant. You’re still begging a woman to do what you want.

        Pretty much why talking to my ex-wife NEVER WORKED. I am glad I got out of a shitty marriage where I was the biggest beta anyone had ever seen. I cringe about some of my actions. Never again.

        [–]CodySpring 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        I needed to read this so badly. Thank's for the write-up, Archwinger.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        There was one time about 3 or 4 years ago, I was visiting a girl at her college. We started seeing each other over the summer and her school was only a half hour drive from our town.

        I get there, we're partying having a good time and had a great saturday swimming and just hanging out with all her friends and getting to know the group.. All really nice chill guys and girls.

        Then later that night we went to see some DJ at a house party. Girl wanders off for a minute but it doesn't phase me. I figure she's outside chatting up friends or something. But then it's been like half an hour and I get a gut feeling that something's up.

        I go outside and don't see her. So I shot her a text asking where she went and just went for a walk around the block.. Well lo and behold I see her and her ex boyfriend making out on the corner like a block away. This is also only about an hour or 2 after I busted a load in her mouth after having sex.

        I approached them. I asked her "what's going on here?". I shook the guy's hand and introduced myself as her "friend" who was staying for the weekend and how I was looking for the girl cause I thought something may have happened to her.

        I then told her I need to grab my belongings from her room because I'm leaving. When she asked me "why?!" I just didn't answer her at all. She offered me a ride home, but she was drunk and wasn't going to get in the car with a drunk driver.

        She begged and pleaded for me to stay with her how she has a "connection" to me or some shit like that. I just said "No I don't think we're going to see each other again" and left her dorm with my backpack. She got in her car drunk and followed me trying to entice me to come back for like 2 or 3 hours but I never gave in. I couldn't find a sober ride home that night so I slept at a train station and caught a train home the following morning.

        She texted me literally every day that week begging for me back, how she'd lose the ex boyfriend etc. etc… Essentially she lost frame and had emotional diarrhea like a lot of us guys do when we're less experienced. It didn't phase me one bit. I'm getting my body in good shape, I'm a high ranking student at a top tier university that's flooded with hot girls, I have a job, I have a life.. and as a result I have options.. Abundance mentality

        tl;dr When you catch them doing something shitty enough to terminate any chance of an LTR with you just emotionally shut off and walk away from them. Best move you can make. If you try to negotiate all you're doing is creating a pin hole that will grow bigger and bigger. The same way the ocean slams against the rocky shore and erodes the rocks to sand, she will do the same thing with your frame.

        But don't be angry about it, it's merely natural order and the way of women. They need to fuck up like this to learn that high value men don't tolerate shitty behavior from women.

        [–]AutisticusMaximus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        "Do not argue with it, do not reason with it. Dominate it."

        Any good dog trainer.

        [–]1KyfhoMyoba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You most effectively communicate by leaving.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]EntitledShitHead -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          The misogynistic blue pill answer is, of course, to communicate with her. Tell her how you feel about her shitty behavior and why, and ask her to stop. Use your feelings to try to guilt and manipulate and coerce her into changing what she wants to do for your sake.

          Never guilt trip anyone, it just makes you look upset and like a loser, as if it actually got to you.

          However, the answer most shitty Red Pill advocates will give is even stupider. Communicate with her. Tell her that you don’t like her shitty behavior, and demand that she stop. Be an asshole about it. Threaten to dump her.

          Even that is kind of guilt tripping a girl, and does work in the short run, but she'll go back to doing what she was doing at the drop of the hat.

          And you don’t negotiate with children or terrorists. (Women are an interesting mix of both.)

          LMAO!!! You're funny man!

          You don’t negotiate with disrespectful people who are handing you shitty behavior.

          Its better to be alone then with someone that jerks you around and treats you like shit. When you're around people that treat you like shit, your confidence tanks, and you just feel shitty and can't think big or shoot for bigger stuff, plus they're a drain on your time.

          If a woman is giving you shitty behavior, she is doing it because she doesn’t respect you and either thinks you’re a pussy who’s going to let her get away with it, or just doesn’t care if you leave because she doesn’t want you any more.

          This is so true. women only treat low value men like shit because they think they can get away with it, or because they don't care if the guy leaves. If a women is treating you like shit, walk.

          Having a shitty girlfriend is like having cancer. Most days, you feel okay and live your life, but in the back of your mind you know that something is slowly eating you alive. You invest a lot of your energy and resources to keep the shitty parts of your life at bay and enjoy the good ones, but as time goes on, it takes more and more out of you. You slowly get used to more and more shit until your life is actually kind of unpleasant. Having that shitty girlfriend tumor invading your organs becomes part of your identity. Your life.

          This is so true.

          [–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I often read your articles and want to leave a comment but you do such an eloquent and expressive job that there's nothing left for me to add.

          good shit bruh

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]sirencow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Downgrade to plate and have/display abundance mentality

          [–]Antix3257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Women dont deserve to be called "Bitches" when they act this way. Why? My female pit (Bitch by definition) is loyal, doesn't play mind games, listens to every command, and loves me unconditionally. So we should come up with a word they deserve to be called. Cunt is good, but we can do better lol.

          [–]bama79rolltide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          "When a woman respects you, she behaves herself. Because she doesn’t want to risk screwing things up with a guy she respects. In fact, women who respect you are constantly going out of their way doing shit for you to demonstrate their qualities. You don’t have to tell a woman who respects you to behave herself or treat you better. She’s already doing it. Because women know how to be good partners, when they want to be."

          I've seen this happen on multiple occasions. This is one of the wisest things I have ever read about women's nature.

          I think this is true in any circumstance, but since women behave differently, it is interesting to see how they interact with other men, in regards to respect. Remember, most of them have a massive ego and sense of entitlement due to upbringing.

          If she respects you, you are doing it right. Maintain frame and watch for shit tests.

          [–]mada0207 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Spoke to me so much.

          Yesterday I felt my ltr was shaming me into always trying to make her change and that I have high expectations. But my only expectation is she not be a bitch.

          Little did I know my own beta behavior was enforcing this.

          [–]J_AsapGem 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          i think this should be a last resort, comon every single woman is going to shit test you, this should be recommended if she pushes you overboard or something, just my opinion. can't be too " redpilly "

          [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I have to assume that a reasonable man knows the difference between, "You should have turned left there, silly" and "Oh. I didn't think it was a big deal to grab coffee with my ex. That's why I didn't mention it...or any of the other guys I've been going out for drinks with for the past six months without saying anything...because it doesn't matter! We're just friends."

          There's women running their mouth, and then there's actual disrespect. If I have to start every single thing I type with, "Okay, guys. Here's what a good relationship should and shouldn't look like, and for the purposes of this post, let me set out definitions of various terms..." you'll be reading ten pages of bullshit. Out of respect for others, I assume they're reasonably intelligent humans and limit the bullshit I provide them to about 1 to 1.5 pages.

          [–]hailhailhailandkill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Nonverbal communication > begging and meowing

          Actions matter more than words.

          Arguing is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. Its own turf!

          [–]Freiling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Very nice. Sometimes I think I have it all figured out... then I read something like this that makes me feel like an idiot in retrospect. This is exactly what I did wrong in that relationship.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          IF your woman is baiting you and arguing with you, you leave.

          Here's what you do when she starts arguing with you and yelling at you.

          The link is a scene from Goodfellas, where Karen yells and screams at Henry after being out all night. Henry says nothing, turns around, gets back in the car, and leaves.

          [–]rothkochapel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          "...And you don’t negotiate with children or terrorists. (Women are an interesting mix of both.)..."

          I lol'd

          [–]RedPillHanSolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Good post, I was thinking along these lines when I read "Instant Success Implementing RP Strategy In My LTR" from today, where OP basically made demands and set boundaries, thinking that this would accomplish shit.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Quality post. Gave me feels

          [–]Venenarium 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          This reminds me of the Blackdragon's distinction between the Alpha 1.0 and Alpha 2.0

          However, I would add that while women are not stupid, women are neither mind-readers. Unless she does something obviously shitty (cheat on you, etc), then just walking away and hoping she'll "just get it" is as naive as it is feminne.

          It's like when a LTR is giving a shitty attitude to her beta and when he asks her what's wrong, she replies with "nothing". There are differences, obviously, but you get the point.

          Anyway, I like your style, so even through I consider the message of your post to be a generally bad one, I enjoyed reading it nevertheless.

          [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          It's really beyond the scope of a Red Pill post to explain to people the difference between a woman being a bitch and a woman unknowingly scheduling an activity on top of your gym hour because you didn't tell her, and that the advice presented here really only applies to the former. If we can't assume that basic level of reasoning ability, we really have to dumb down this forum.

          [–]Horus_Krishna_2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          do you think he's just playing dumb cuz being red pill is too hard, bargaining stage?

          [–]Kwantuum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Mate he's said "being disrespectful". When a woman disrespects you, either she damn well knows better and doesn't care, or she doesn't know better and you should be looking for a woman who was raised properly and has manners.

          [–]noreej 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I wish I had read this before.

          There is this plate I have. The sex is ridiculously good. However, she never responds to my texts quickly enough. She says she was busy, but whenever I'm with her, she always is on her phone. So yesterday finally, I ignored her texts. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her the reason. She apologized profusely, but I don't know what I should do and I haven't responded yet. What do I do?

          [–]S-Blaze -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          What I would do, Keep it like that don't say anything else don't drag this on dread her let her come to you for forgiveness. Don't be too emotionally involved.

          [–]Horus_Krishna_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          yeah I guess you're not saying anything, but standing up and walking away communicates the message for you.

          [–]sixohs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          never thought of it like that. thanks

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]stawek 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Deny the attention. Work on and for yourself.

          Imagine situation: woman comes from work and starts moaning about her boss, says if you had better paycheck she could stay at home and you advised her to take that job in the first place.
          Most people would be like "honey, you are so stressed, how can I help you? Here, i give you a massage and a cup of hot chocolate". This is rewarding bad behaviour.
          What if instead you just stand up and go see your best mate over a game of pool? You come back two hours later and she is going nuts. Ignore the nagging get some dinner and go to bed. If she keeps naggin in bed go sleep on couch. You need sleep to rebuild your muscles after gym, right?

          Most important: response must be immediate and cannot be based on past behaviours. If she is behaving ok the very next day don't be butthurt over her shitty behaviour. Act normally. If she behaves very well take her out. The quicker the reward (attention) or punishment (withdrawal) is applied the more effective it is.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You cannot negotiate attraction. You can't talk a girl into being more attracted to you than her vices and/or other guys. If that's what she wants, then that's what she wants, and your feelings aren't going to change that. Either deal or drop. Ezpz.

          [–]harsha_hs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Able to walk away without any regrets is the most powerful thing you have!

          [–]1RBuddDwyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You create your world, and she follows you in it. She can have a fun time in it, or be left behind. It makes no difference to you.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          The pussy posts of beta's being a little bitch and coming on here boasting about how alpha they were was getting on my nerves. For a few seconds I thought TRP was going to shit - and then u/Archwinger makes this post.

          Faith in TRP restored.

          [–]clearedmycookies 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          You know it's still communication when you tell her this is the reason why you are dumping her right? Yes, men should not tolerate shitty behavior from women. At the same time, If you don't make it clear this is why you are dumped, then she is bound to repeat the same thing again.

          [–]--Edog-- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I am going to save this and make my two sons memorize it when they get older. Wish someone had told me this when i was young.

          [–]stawek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          The most important prerequisite for a good relationship is to NOT be in a shitty relationship.

          You are better off on your own than with somebody who makes you unhappy.

          [–]Murlocgoesmurgle -4 points-3 points  (4 children)

          What you're asking for seems to be pretty fuckin' abusive there bud. Kinda sounds like you've become the monster you're trying to hunt.

          So let's apply this to the real world. Let's say I have a girlfriend and she drinks a beer from the fridge without asking me. It's our fridge, but I bought the beer. She assumed that it was for the both of us and had one. Well on the outset it's kinda rude. Should I dump her over this, or just ask her to ask me next time? It seems more reasonable to ask her to respect me, otherwise, yes, you should dump her.

          What you're saying is that any time you feel like you weren't respected, you would leave her. Shit man, if my girlfriend acted like that I wouldn't want to be with her anyway, that's nuts.

          And let's reverse the situation. You don't open the door for your girlfriend even though you're ahead of her and you let it shut her face. Should she just dump you right then and there? What you're looking for is a really unstable relationship that could literally end at any moment. I think you might want to clarify a few things here.

          Obviously you should leave someone who's being a shit to you on a consistent basis or even on a semi regular basis, and you should never trust that they have your best interests in mind, but it seems a little extreme to be saying "Whenever she's rude" because rude is a really broad term. I'd like to hear some examples of where this is or isn't appropriate if applicable. Does this mean that if she calls me an asshole I should dump her? Does this mean whenever I feel offended by her I should just leave her? Without an example it's really up in the air.

          [–]S-Blaze 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          By ''shit'' he mean something worse than taking one of your beer on assumption. Also you don't ask her to respect you, you make her respect you. Ex I'd grab that beer, drink it, joke about it then give her permission to take one. She'll ask you next time or play for it testing/teasing your frame which I would lead to sex.

          [–]ClericJohnPreston 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          LOL. WTF is this? Arch did not mean act like a passive aggressive asshole because of a missing beer in the fridge!

          His post hits on much larger issues such as girlfriends texting other men and lying about it, or girls wanting to hang out with exes or girls constantly shit testing you. No one says break up with a chick over fridge contents.

          Unless that bitch is continually fucking with your beer simply BECAUSE you asked her not to. That's the disrespectful behavior he's getting at. That's the moment you know she's not respecting you. And then you can walk. Because if you have to EXPLAIN respect to her, or ask for it, then brother it is over anyway. See?

          [–]Murlocgoesmurgle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Oh okay. It was sounding like he was suggesting you should just dump people whenever they offend you. I'm glad we can all agree that's insane and unreasonable.

          [–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          deleted What is this?

          [–]ecosci -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          You have to tell her what you want dont ask her if she doesnt do it then leave, a man cant not talk to his women because thier emotional creatures and dont understand logic she will hang out with your best bud if she felt its ok because you cant walk around with a dont care attitude not communicating always set clear boundaries and lead her not read her she doesnt know any better.

          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

          I get where this post comes from I agree with is tenents 100% but how will she know how much you want to have sex unless you tell her or what you do or dont tolerate? Like my LTR for example idgaf that she has guy friends as long as she dont flirt or text in my presence im cool with them. Other dudes on here dont approve of their girls going out alone with any guy but her relatives. How would she know that unless you communicate it? I told mine I expect an active sex life some times I want it 7 days a week others I want it 7 times a day once a week. I simply told her I want it to be available and if it isnt someone else will be. Have a headache? take a midol and be ready in 30 mins. Tired from work? You came over to fuck me for 3 hours after studying for hours on end after your finals maybe I should fuck a college girl whos on her A game if you wont perform. If she knows what you want yes just leave if shes acting up. But sometimes you gotta speak up.

          [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          If you have to explain to men the difference between a woman being a bitch and woman baking you a pizza because you never told her you were lactose intolerant, and which one of the two this post might apply to, I've really overestimated the universe.

          "I prefer X in bed" -- yes, tell your girlfriend.

          "I intend to have sex 5 times a week" -- no, don't tell your girlfriend. Just initiate with her as often as you want sex, and if she rejects you more than twice a week without a legitimate medical reason, leave. She'll get the unspoken message much better that way.

          "Flirting with all of your exes is disrespectful to me and to our relationship" -- don't bother telling your girlfriend. She already knows. Even if you don't mind, it's still a disrespectful act, and she knows better.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Id never tolerate talking to an ex unless kids were involved and I dont deal with single moms lol... But male friends I dont really give a shit. Agree on everything youve said though just thought it valid to mention that in order to establish boundaries you need to talk about it. Obviously sex etc is an unspoken rule as is respect your utterly right.

          [–]ClericJohnPreston -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Almost lold in an operating room reading this. This is exactly the thing that guy from yesterday needed to hear. It sucks to have to think of things this way, but really it's the only right answer. We humans didn't choose our biology but we have to face it.

          Attraction fades in all relationships Maybe to different degrees but there is certainly fading. When it goes there is very little you can do to force it back. and certainly having a chat about it or demanding it will only kill the remaining attraction. You almost have to think of attraction in binary.

          And as we all know, attraction is not negotiable. I'm not sure if anyone could have ever written this as clearly and concisely as arch just did.

          [–]mi1a -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          So what do you do when you can't walk away that very moment? You are both in the car, or taking care of kids.

          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

          I agree with the thrust of your argument but you don't leave any room between everything being OK and the nuclear option.

          You are fully correct with the fact that women know what is good and bad behavior.

          But part of that with them is testing to see what shit they can get away with. Like a father with a daughter, there is indeed some place in there between status quo is acceptable and you're kicked out of the house because you didn't respect all these implicit rules that you were supposed to understand.

          She is going to test those boundaries not because she's testing the boundaries but she's testing to see if you'll defend the boundaries.

          If you look at the animal world most challenging is male vs. male over mating rights. But those challenges most usually are symbolic. Animal versions of shit tests. Challenger is going to see if you're prepared to defend your shit. So he makes a gesture that he's going to move in and he's going to judge you by your response. The right pose, the right response, and he's going to move along on his way. Nobody wants injury, nobody wants to risk that unless there's a real solid chance here of the situation flipping.

          People are no different. They're going to test to see what you're going to do about it. Your responses need to have options other than full blown nuclear. Gorillas don't rip challengers to shreds for challenging them. Lions don't kill and eat a challenger. Bighorn sheep bang their heads together which mostly does nothing except prove who is the stronger and the weaker goes on his way.

          Nuclear option only without any gray area is usually a sign of over compensation and lack of ability to manage a situation with an appropriate response.

          The appropriate response is not pleading or negotiation, but to illustrate that yes, you will defend the lines and your response will be real if you're pushed further.

          Every animal, EVERY animal does this unless sanity is bred out of them, like dogs. Come up to a stallion and his herd and it's going to give you every indication that your presence is not OK and it is capable of the nuclear option. It will hold that option in reserve, and it will use it.

          Therein lies the flip side of this coin that if you're not prepared to use the nuclear option then someone will know and they will push you over. This is why the begging and pleading and threatening is not a good move, if you don't believe and are not prepared to go nuclear, then the person you're dealing with will know.

          [–]LaRedPill -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          As everything in the Red Pill, find your wiggle room according to your exact situation.

          [–]aanarchist -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          you're right though, there's no way she's stupid enough not to know, and calling her out is you telling her you're so stupid that you think she doesn't know.

          [–]butiwasdrunk -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          As someone relatively new to TRP here is how I digested this: communication (i.e acknowledging shitty behavior) is not recommended. The appropriate thing to do is behave in such a way as to get respect, since that is the only way they will stop trying to shit on you. The primary code for this is stoicism. If you don't let that shit affect you, you will be able to behave in a calm and rational way. So what can one do when she nags?

          1. Walk away - you just avoided their bait to fight
          2. Do something else that is very important and productive - serves as a reflection of how she is wasting time and energy while you're doing something important and respectable, and therefore don't have time for bullshit
          3. reward positive behavior - as a definite indicator that once she quits the bullshit nagging you are willing to engage.

          [–]Prophets_Prey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Came here looking for this. Thank you.

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