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Red Pill TheoryEmbrace rejection. They're just women. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

Guys get rejected by women. All the time. Even really cool, really masculine, super-duper-alpha-manly-men get rejected sometimes. Rejection is no big deal.

But a lot of guys are paralyzed by the fear of rejection. The fear of embarrassment. If a woman blows you off or turns you down, that’s embarrassing and means you’re not good enough, right? Actually, not always. But even if it did, so what? They’re just women.

When you walk up to a girl and she’s a rude little cunty bitch and blows you off, you feel hurt. Embarrassed. Angry. You might even want to give this bitch a piece of your mind. She didn’t even give you a chance. She didn’t even give you the common courtesy of exchanging a few polite words. She didn’t treat you like a human.

The fact is, this bitch did you a favor. She wasn’t going to fuck you. She didn’t want to. She wasn’t interested. It doesn’t matter why. Maybe she thought you were ugly, maybe she has a boyfriend or husband, maybe she’s a super-ultra-mega-lesbian, or maybe she has a raunchy cunt and is waiting to finish her course of antibiotics. It doesn’t matter. She did you a favor. In fact, by letting you know she’s an unpleasant bitch, she saved you the headache of dealing with her. Now you’re not going to waste your time thinking you’re getting somewhere with this girl only to get turned down later. She saved you all of that energy. Be thankful for that. Embrace the rejection and move on.

However, some girls that aren’t going to fuck you won’t give you the courtesy of blowing you off immediately. Maybe she’s afraid you’re going to be a douchebag and make a big scene if she’s bitchy. It’s a legitimate concern – some loser guys do that. Maybe she enjoys the attention. Maybe she’s manipulating you for free drinks. This isn’t something to get mad about. Basking in the free attention and validation you’re handing out is just what women do. If you’re giving out attention and not getting laid, that’s on you.

Your job is to control your encounters with women. To make your intentions clear from the start. To flirt. To escalate. Touch. Keep things moving forward at a steady, comfortable pace until you get a hard no. Don’t sit around paralyzed by the fear of rejection and embarrassment, chatting with some girl like you’re one of her girlfriends. Like you just want to be her friend or something. If you make your intentions clear from the start, touch, escalate, and flirt – if your intentions are so clear that she can’t pretend not to know why you’re talking to her – she will be forced to either reject you or respond positively to your advances. Controlling these encounters is up to you. If you sit around chatting and not making moves, hoping she’ll give you a signal, you’re letting her be the man, which is about as sexy as a yeast infection.

Time and time again, we see questions from Red Pill guys that go something like, “Here’s what I said and did with this chick at a bar, but at the end, she flaked! What did I do wrong?” And a bunch of idiots go through his conversation and try to pick out the one or two lines of speech where he blew it. Like this girl was some kind of puzzle he could have solved if only he’d said and done the right things.

While some guys do blow it, in most cases, what a guy does wrong is far simpler: He didn’t force her to either reject him or respond positively, early in the interaction. He didn’t escalate in a clear manner that could not possibly be ignored. He didn’t control the encounter.

Some women just aren’t fuckable. At least not by you and not tonight. There’s nothing you’re going to be able to say or do that’s going to magically unlock her panties and get you in bed with her. You didn’t say or do anything “wrong” at the bar. She wasn’t going to fuck you, no matter what. Your mistake wasn’t what you said during your conversation. It was your failure to figure out whether this girl was fuckable at all, early in the encounter, before investing half your night paying attention to her. It was your failure to embrace the possibility of rejection and be thankful for it. To escalate and risk that rejection.

Even the most super-hot, manly, badass dudes get rejected sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Sure, sometimes it’s entirely your fault. You’re not hot, you’re not dressed well, you’re socially awkward or acting funny or your game sucks ass. You have a lot of work to do. That’s fine. Own that. But recognize that tonight, at this time, that particular girl was not fuckable by you. No matter what you say or do. She might go home with somebody better. That shit happens. But your job isn’t to fuck every girl every time. It’s to control these encounters. To figure out, early on, whether a girl is fuckable, and not waste your time with the ones that aren’t.

Rejection happens. Don’t go home and seal yourself off in “monk mode” for ten years as you bench press and read pick-up literature, or get on line and start posting rants for 8 hours a day about how none of this shit works unless you’re naturally seven feet tall with a perfectly symmetrical face. Just do a better job of controlling your encounters and getting to that rejection sooner, so you make better use of your time and energy. Because some girls are fuckable, tonight, by you, right now. You just have to embrace the possibility of rejection, and be thankful for the girls that refrain from wasting your time by rejecting you, so you can move on and maximize your return.

Remember, they’re just women. And women are for fucking. One of many hobbies you enjoy. Quit taking them so seriously. Just try to fuck one, and if it doesn’t work, go try to fuck another. Repeat as needed. Never let yourself get hung up on this one girl you thought you were maybe going to fuck. Just embrace the rejection and move on.

Obviously, still learn from your mistakes when you make them and they cause you get rejected. But don’t make the biggest mistake of all by trying to avoid the risk of rejection entirely. It’s just a woman. It’s not even a real risk. You’re not jumping out of a plane or putting all of your money into cryptocurrency. It’s just a dumb slut that might giggle at you. Does being judged by a woman really keep you up at night?

Be sure to check out The Red Pill's off-Reddit site to find this and other great content. Here's a link.


[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 70 points71 points  (17 children)

Conversely

Some women are put off by overt sexual intention before they feel attracted.... and other times the feeling of "I can have him whenever I like" can trigger her hypergamous "I can do better" response.

Yes you should "escalate to find out" and yes you should be unafraid to show intent. But sometimes it's better to tease and be disinterested and IDGAF than balls-out "fuck me or fuck off". Overt sexual intent isn't always optimum.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 49 points50 points  (2 children)

The key is to escalate at a steady, comfortable pace. If you ignore a girl half the night and don't escalate, you lose. But as you've noted, if you come on to a girl like a freight train, that can be just as bad.

[–]slay_it_forward -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You say don't wait for IOIs, but if you escalate without any, chances are she'll reject your advances. She's not attracted yet.

My plan of attack is to show value in the beginning (teasing, challenging, story-telling, playful), the escalate with she fires off an IOI or two. Start off very slow. Escalation doesn't mean grabbing her jugs and driving your tongue down her throat. I simple touch on the hand or small of her back will do. Then back off. Then go a little further, caress her hands.

If she doesn't give any IOIs after an hour I go for a little kino anyway to confirm the lack of interest. You don't know for sure until you try. Some girls are shy.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shy girls are more prone to give subtle IOIs than the average girl. They would simply not be as aggressive or overt. If a guy isn't getting stared down by a girl, having her mirror his actions, or having her try to get closer to him, then she isn't interested.

The shyest girls I've ever met still couldn't contain their tingles for a guy. The only difference is that they were flaunting themselves all over him.

A guy can try kino as a last resort, but the girl will just reciprocate to be polite if she isn't attracted.

[–]the_steroider 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]enjoytheloss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that women have this trigger.

I just don't care about it, it wastes too much of my time to employ game vs just fucking off.

[–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Yup. Just lost one by being overtly sexual. One of the hottest I've ever met. Things were going well, texting for a couple weeks and then I said, why don't you just call me, we can talk in person and use our actual voices, unless you're a pussy. And she texted back, I'm not a pussy! And then my phone rang (works every time). We talked for 2 hours. She was definitely into me but had a boyfriend and was saying she just wanted to be friends, but we both knew that was her hamster, at least I did. Actually, if I look back at our text, it was obvious I was pursuing her and she was interested, weighing her options so to speak. The next day we were texting again and I sexted her and then she pulled away. Said she realized men and women can't be friends (duh) and she felt like she wasn't being loyal to her boyfriend by talking to me. I removed plausible deniability, in a text. Stupid move. If I had been more patient and waited until we hung out I'm sure I would have been in there. Oh well, gotta work on my game.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (6 children)

I removed plausible deniability, in a text. Stupid move.

Yeah... sex should be subcommunicated, especially by text for this reason.

If I had been more patient and waited until we hung out

Talking to her for two hours wasn't great either... should have been faster to the meet.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I was helping her with an existential crisis. This wasn't a normal situation, I've left out many details, and she's probably the hottest girl you've ever seen as well. And she's sweet, genuine, a real southern lady with a hippie twist. I know, I know, pedestal, unicorn and all that... I don't think I've completely blown it. Just gonna wait a little while, write a funny song about the incident and send her a video in a week or so of me singing and playing. I'm exceptionally handsome, talented and jacked. Usually get what I want. I'm not looking for love anymore, that was my problem before. But I really want this girl and won't give up until it's obvious I can't have her, or I do have her and get tired and move on.

[–]el_Technico 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You're trying way to hard with this girl. Instead of writing a stupid song. Call her up, tease her for not being fun. When she says she is fun tell her to prove it this weekend with you by going somewhere fun. The whole conversation should take about 5 minutes.

[–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah, I am trying too hard and that's probably my main problem, but she's top level and it's hard to just give up. I'm not sure she would answer my call. It wouldn't be hard for me to write a silly song, record it on ukulele with my phone and send it. Make fun of us both in the song. I was thinking this way she could see what she's missing, get a good visual of me and my musical talent, which is my strong point. If I call or text it's just me trying too hard again and she might not respond. With a video I think It'd be more likely for me to reel her back in. And ballsy, I mean, who has enough courage to send a video of a custom written and performed song? It would definitely set me apart from the 1,000 other guys who approach her every day.

Initially I was sending short to the point texts telling her to come meet me somewhere and she wasn't responding. It was after she didn't respond for a week that I sent a picture of myself and a longer text explaining to her how awesome I was and what she was missing in a verbose and humorously exaggerating way, then I got a response. So, I started sending longer text and she was replying with equally long text until I got her to call me. Normal game wasn't working and when I showed more depth she showed more interest.

Honestly, the fact that she's not easy makes me want her more. I'm probably just a performing monkey that's simply entertaining and validating her. She's trying to friend-zone me, I'm aware of this. But if I can play along, tone down my aggressiveness and get her to hang out with me, I'm sure I can escalate in person.

The funny song I've been thinking of is about a new-age sensitive guy who is trying to get a girl by showing off how spiritually enlightened he is, and it's working up until he decides to send a dick pic. It's a joke off our interaction because it was my zen talk that she was interested in and eating up but when I made the sexual comment she backed off. It makes fun of the situation and puts it in perspective by comparing my comment to a guy who sends dick pics. And I could play the whole thing off as like, thanks for the inspiration to write this song, just thought I'd share it with you. If she never responds at least I got a song out of it.

[–]el_Technico 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You write a song for her and you dry that pussy up. You're putting way to much effort in, and you've probably done to much damage at this point to salvage anything. If you're trying harder than she is you're playing the game wrong. Call her. If she doesn't answer next her, and move onto someone else.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks. It's always been hard for me to walk away. I keep thinking I can fix it somehow. Makes me a good mechanic but has never worked with women.

[–]rayyaal 225 points226 points  (21 children)

THE REGRET OF NOT APPROACHING FEELS 100% WORSE. CAN CONFIRM.

[–]afkb39sdfb 40 points41 points  (1 child)

It is better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all

Goes for most things in life

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Exceptions, for reference: skydiving, tightrope, piloting, birthday parties, suicide.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 16 points17 points  (2 children)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Isn't this interesting that the feel obligated to add "or him", when it's clearly a male thing ?

[–]GIGANTIC_NIGGER_DICK 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's because XKCD is cucked. The writer is a white night.

[–]bowie747 42 points43 points  (7 children)

The male hamster is real, but we will crucify him.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Hell no, remember what happened when we crucified Jesus?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (4 children)

I remember the times I chickened out and didn't approach as well as the pain associated with it much more vividly than I remember the times I got rejected.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I don't understand why I'm being downvoted. I pretty much confirmed what he said.

[–]BlacknOrangeZ 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Embrace downvotes. They're just redditors.

[–]Attentive1 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

I just down voted you because you're sensitive. Suck it and re-read the article.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do with sensitivity lol. I didnt mean that I was hurt literally. I meant that the feeling of rejection is overhwlemed by the satisfaction of having taken action while the regret of not having tried is way more annoying. what i called pain is more annoyance or anger than actually emotional pain.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Quality reminder for seasoned veterans and excellent advice to the noobs.

To be 100% honest, I needed to read that right now. Rejection doesn't bother me, but I've been going far too slowly in my interactions, mostly because I haven't been looking nor interested in new girls. Practice makes proficient, and I got out of practice.

[–]metallica11 47 points48 points  (0 children)

It comes down to the rule of efficiency. You don't want to waste your time, energy, and money and something with a poor return on your investment. It is better to state your intent directly and weed out the ones that will waste your time.

huddeling over your phone trying wondering if a girl is actually interested or not is a waste of time and energy. It pisses me of. Don't do it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Experiencing rejection is a good precursor to becoming better at reading women. You'll begin to see over time which women are more receptive and which women are repulsed. Hence, body language.

On top of that, experiencing rejection helps one become used to it. Many men fear rejection and overthink it to the point that they'd rather fantasize about the possibilities, rather than experience the reality of a possibility played out. They would rather hold on to the dream. But after experiencing rejection, most men will calibrate themselves accordingly and adapt to the situation.

And quite honestly the biggest benefit of all, getting rid of oneitis. Nothing more needs to be said about this.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Your job is to control your encounters with women. To make your intentions clear from the start. To flirt. To escalate. Touch. Keep things moving forward at a steady, comfortable pace until you get a hard no.

This is the key sentence here. Too many guys put themselves in the woman's frame and let her dictate how the relationship will progress. "I did the song and dance, I spit game, I bought her drinks, I washed her car, but she still rejected me!" Or, even sadder: "I married her, provided for her and her kids, bought her whatever she wanted, put up with her laziness for twenty years, and she still won't have sex with me!"

Stop submitting to her frame and start dictating your own terms regarding the relationship. Have rules, boundaries, standards, and deadlines, and if the woman isn't meeting them, next her.

TRP receives much criticism regarding the ruleset we propose for relationships, e.g.

  • Single mother? A plate at best.
  • BPD, depression, or on medication for mental illness? Next.
  • Three dates and still no sex? Next.
  • Time/money waster or disrespectful of your time/money? Next.
  • GF asks about opening the relationship? Next.
  • GF gets lazy and lets her body go? Next.
  • Owns horses? A plate at best.
  • Feminist? Probably should next.
  • Sex worker or stripper? A plate at best.

These rules might be excessively strict but having overly discriminatory rules is better than having no rules or standards at all.

Without a well-defined set of terms and guidelines for dealing with women, you're just a piece of soft clay that a woman can mold into whatever she wants.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Wait. Why horses? Lol you're going to have to explain that one

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Captain Capitalism can explain it better than I can, but I share his experience: horse women are crazy. http://www.returnofkings.com/16904/avoid-women-with-horses

[–]cRawmode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can attest that. Had a short plate like that. BATSHIT CRAZY is an understatement. She could ride though, that was the only thing going for her.

[–]pantsoffire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, it's posts like these that got me subbed. These nit picking motherfuckers reviewing your play by play like a bunch of bored women deciding by committee what you did or did not do wrong or right via their 3rd/ 4th party petty opinions drives me mental. Go for it, move on. When you are comfortable with rejection because alpha this or game mentality or mega options- THAT's the objective, the End Game. Other wise you're still ruled by the pussy. Good post.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Would you take a child seriously if they didn't want to share any of their cookies with you? Well, treat women like that. They're just humans who take shits like the rest of us, don't give them the power of thinking they're better than you if rejected. Its their loss, not yours.

[–]jazerac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is a perfect point of frame. thanks

[–]Deraileur 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Remember, they’re just women. And women are for fucking. One of many hobbies you enjoy. Quit taking them so seriously. Just try to fuck one, and if it doesn’t work, go try to fuck another. Repeat as needed. Never let yourself get hung up on this one girl you thought you were maybe going to fuck. Just embrace the rejection and move on.

This paragraph is gold.

You are in charge of your own life. You get to decide, well... everything.

[–]PabloEscoba 25 points26 points  (13 children)

Women are terrible judges of character. They choose men based on how he made them feel when he said certain words.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well, learn to be that guy who makes them feel when you say certain words. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[–]kinklianekoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no such thing as "character" isolated from your behaviour in social interactions.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to add two quotes from Rollo Tomassi that helped me dealing with rejection:

  • Sifting through some of my past posts on the SoSuave forum it hit me; over 90% of what I advocate there can be reduced to overcoming a fear of rejection.

  • as a Man, based on gender alone, you will experience rejection far more than any woman ever will. If that sounds like a bold statement let me clarify that, you should experience rejection more than any woman.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This post right here, is the only post i actually need. After reading TRP for ages, this is the final one. You just gotta do it, and keep doing it. Reading more guides wont help, just make you overthink things even more.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is much worse to get strung along. I lost count of the times I got friend zoned before I even got rejected

[–]Expectations1 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Ive boiled it down to this, too many guys stressing over wanting to sleep with the bitches that dont give a fuck about them and ignoring the ones that do.

[–]Bulk_king11 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Great post but there has definitely been times (especially with hotter women at a bar) where woman are being hit on constantly, that at first it may seem like you're being rejected to ward off the creepy or beta males but if you hold frame pull back and joke with her you can get her to open up. Escalate and end up leaving with her. I've had it happen a lot lately and it really has opened my eyes up to hanging in there just a bit longer before saying she's not interested.

[–]odiecoyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this was right after the moon landing didn't happen right?

you poor sap

[–]iamsofuckingoutraged 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There is a fine line though of coming across as a try hard creepy amateur and being someone that can take rejection while maintaining a certain finesse that shows it isn't your fault but a matter of incompatibility. In my experience, having a sense of humor, self deprecating a lot of times, is a good survival skill. If whomever your hitting on rejects you, make it out like it's what you expected and then let it go. Continue to have fun like you don't expect anything in return, and I can't express enough you really should not expect anything in return. Move on. If your fantasy is to have that one girl that rejects you, your best bet is to ignore her and continue to see what your other options are out there. You might quickly realize she wasn't the one you wanted after all. There's a lot of flavors out there. Be smart, be funny, keep your options open. You don't need blue or red pills to understand common sense.

[–]RedDeadCred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't self deprecate. Just accept it for what it is and be unfazed. Don't apologize.

[–]Disaster_Voyeurism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thing is, when I purposely try to escalate there tends to be a "I can have him whenever vibe". I've been trying to find the perfect balance, but I still don't really know.

Currently interrailing through Europe on my own. I've kissed at least one girl every night I've been out. Still, I feel not in control sometime.

Are there any threads, topics or articles that give a few examples of escalation? The golden balance of not being too available, but still giving sexual intent.

One of the few times everything went perfect is when the girl is into me because of my looks, and I can reject kissing her or tease her a bit (did it with both f-closes). I'd like to have that vibe in every conversation, but even though I have lived it and am able to, I can't recreate it on demand.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's face it! About 95% when a male wants but doesn't approach is pure male hamsterazation. I know because I did and still rationalize a lot.

[–]Jakei34 2 points3 points  (4 children)

In Highschool. So if I see a girl I believe fuckable and interesting, approaching.

I just got to brace myself for the rejections. I'm ready.

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker 5 points6 points  (1 child)

deleted What is this?

[–]Jakei34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meet at least 2 new people everyday so far. All is friendly. Everything is going well so far

[–]odiecoyote -1 points0 points  (1 child)

it's still early enough for u my dude go talk to her. whatever happens, happens. rejection is not a uniquely male experience. girls your age are mad insecure (I was one.) if you want real guidance, feel free to PM me, but get the fuck off this subreddit. do not trust these sad 20+ yr olds befriend real males and females read a book go to a party and get shwifty for no reason other than WHY THE FUCK NOT design a website watch the Eric Andre show play with a dog go read something written by Howard Zinn you'll have sex a million times. trust me these men are only teaching you to repel/get laughed at by women and men alike -- it's not to help you people who actually have rich sexual/social/romantic lives don't feel the need to talk about it on the Internet all the time. join us, we love u already. I could blow ur mind with stories of 'nerdy' guys I was terrified to approach as a 'attractive' female. we all insecure bud.

SO GO. FLY.

source: literally everybody who isn't on this subreddit is either completely unaware this exists or laughing at you for 5 minutes before we have to get back to the fuckin real world

LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK. I am. join me bb

[–]Jakei34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You must not get the concept of TRP. I appreciate your help, but honestly, you should go and never come back.

[–]Saintmyname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get rejected more than accepted. Most all men do. It's no big deal. It's part of courting. No reason to take it personally.

[–]casemodsalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't even bother trying. Make women come to you. That's how you know they have good taste.

[–]Attentive1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You guys are funny. I look at it as a numbers game. My odds get better as I reduce the potential sexual population. Also, stop trying to read her mind. It's not about what frame of mind she's in its about you. Start with the hottest chick if you want. Expect a rejection and laugh that shit off if it happens. Have a drink and go to the next one on your list. It's all about you. 😁

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 3 points4 points  (1 child)

There is an episode of Cheers in Season 3 where Sam gets rejected. Norm starts crying because he viewed Sam as a God who could pull any piece of pussy he wanted and never be rejected.

Some of you need to watch that episode. Even the best get rejected. Even if they do everything right. Some women just aren't going to go along with it.

[–]TheConArtistAubrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That show is full of interesting Red Pill type stuff. Almost every episode.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

An important note to everything here is that it's all probabilistic. Lifting, game, holding frame etc. all increase your probability of success with women and decrease the probability of disaster, but it's still never a guarantee.

So when we say things like AWALT we obviously don't mean that we can predict any woman's behavior at any given time. We just mean that as the number of opportunities for hypergamy increases, the probability of acting on it approaches 1.

[–]mehdreamer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

How many rejections you should have before stop caring about being rejected?

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Maybe a thousand? I dunno. But that's not limited to girls and bars.

The two biggest traits that get guys laid are looks and social skills.

The two traits that guys on the internet looking for advice on getting laid happen to lack are looks and social skills.

Looks are easy. Hit the gym daily, lift heavy, and clean up your diet. Dress well, get a good haircut. I guess not "easy". It's hard work. But what to do is pretty obvious and not mentally or emotionally difficult to figure out and undertake.

Social skills require more thinking on your feet, and more work being interesting and having shit to talk about, questions to ask, and things that make you stand out in people's minds. You can read about social skills all day long, but the only way you really get better at them is practice. Talk to everybody, all the time. Guys, girls, young, old, wherever you are. You're in line at a coffee shop or the bank? Put your damn cell phone up and chat with the person next to you in line. Strangers in the mall? The cashier at a store? Just talk to people. You're not trying to get a date or make a new best friend. Just spend 30 seconds or so chatting about nothing. It's awkward, stupid, embarrassing, you don't know what to say, people are wondering what you want and thinking you're weird. But you get better at it. And you stop caring about what people think because you realize it doesn't matter. You'll never see any of these people again. You start noticing that other people are worrying about your judgment instead of the other way around. After about 1000 of these interactions, it just clicks.

[–]mehdreamer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is golden advice. Thanks bro.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact is, this bitch did you a favor. She wasn’t going to fuck you. She didn’t want to. She wasn’t interested.

This is critically fucking important.

When I started really going out in earnest to hit on women, I quickly learned that rejection is not the worst thing. Far from it.

The worst thing is a chick who wastes your time -- flirts with you for 20+ minutes when she's not sexually available, just because she's enjoying the attention. (This is why it's critical to polarize her within the first few minutes to gauge interest.)

A fast rejection is a gift and a blessing.

[–]1WeedDaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Often the problem with being rejected is that it gives the men around you a justification to jump you, after all, you are the social violator who is making a woman uncomfortable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes a rejection is a simple shit test.

Treating it with grace can give tingles

[–]voivode17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen to this, going under my bookmarks

[–]SterlingEastwood 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Holy shit. I don't know how you do it, but you guys always speak to me when I face some bigger or smaller adversity. Thank you.

you’re letting her be the man, which is about as sexy as a yeast infection

Yup, I've learnt it before while dancing. I, as the man have to lead (in salsa, but I guess it's like that in other types of dance, too) and there's either two ways of having a bad time:

  1. I can't lead properly --> she takes over --> boom

  2. She stiff arms you and doesn't let herself to be lead (this is a thing, mostly among rookies though) --> next

be thankful for the girls that refrain from wasting your time by rejecting you

Some of the best advice out there. I'd almost be thankful for those girls if they rejected me properly in the end...but unfortunately that's too much to expect from them

[–]odiecoyote 0 points1 point  (1 child)

please learn the actual definition of the word 'adversity' before u use it to describe how it sux that u can't get women to sleep with you, jayzus get it together my dude lmao

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watch young grade school kids. When you were young, you were just bird dogging these girls. You walk up alone to their little group, and just by your talk you make them SCATTER.

idgaf

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Glad to see this post after reading about the guy who couldn't get girls to text him back. This post represents the flip side of his argument and all the sweat in between.

I get signs, yet I still find myself looking for the right time, rather than continuing the build-up I've made in the field. If I had any doubt, it's erased. You can't depend on weaseling your way into the girls' pants. You can't depend on the safe feeling of her (your mother) being there the morning after.

I'm ultimately still in the outer edges of BP, but thanks OP and others for filling in the gaps, though I know it's a pain in the ass and personal. Some of us are still blind to certain aspects of not just RP, but interpersonal relations, male roles, and then some. But you gave me a kick forward, and I intend to make something of it. I know I'm better than before, but I'm going to test my boundaries, knowing that no matter what, I can still do better for myself.

[–]Upvote_To_The_Left 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]Tallsmarthandsome -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Men are not afraid of rejection. Men are afraid of women being welcoming, getting a drink, going on a date, falling in love, getting married, having kids....and THEN she rejects you, and takes your kids, your house, your life.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I used to get so butt-hurt when a girl rejected me. Now I just laugh it off because it's really nothing to worry about. Even if your aren't going to get laid by that girl, it's always good to practice approaching to overcome approach anxiety and just learn what works and what doesn't.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

If you’re giving out attention and not getting laid, that’s on you.

[–]odiecoyote -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

you should get a job as one of those canvasers who hangs out on the street with a clipboard. I think u have the perfect mindset u would probably do well and become a high value man!

[–]bigk12345 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Here is what is helping me on my journey.

" Rejection is better than regret"

Would you rather be told to fuck off by that beautiful Girl at the bar and know for a fact you can approach other girls AND you got definitive answer with this girl?

Or.....

Think she was a girl of your dreams , perfect onetis, etc, without approaching her and literally idealizing her at the end of your night without approaching her the entire night.

For me, it is either yes or no.

That just makes it easier to move into next girl and analyze at the end of the night what I did right or wrong .

[–]froggyfreshrap -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Excellent post, no matter how good looking you are, there will always be girls who will reject you. Dgaf

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]odiecoyote -1 points0 points  (1 child)

have u ever met a woman before cuz like idk it seems like u haven't but like good luck tho 👌