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Field ReportYou don't do things FOR women, you do things TO women (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 3whatsthisgarg

Advices number 1: Don't do things for women.

 

I'm not talking about the typical blooper "nice guy" bullshit, and I'm not just talking about paying for dates and hoping to touch a boob. I mean this in a radical sense: you don't need to do anything for women to get them to fuck you.

 

Stating the obvious, for the rankest amateurs among us: You don't do things for women that you have NOT had sex with.

 

Less obvious, but this also holds for women you have had sex with.

 

And I'm here to make the bold claim that this holds for the entire continuum of relationships, from the early stages of interactions with a particular woman, all the way to many year long LTRs.

 

In initial interactions with a woman: If you're unclear on the general concept of it, the shit test is a woman offering a man the opportunity to classify himself. With regard to the present subject, this is entirely under your control. You can very simply classify yourself in her eyes as a man who either does things FOR women, or does things TO women.

It's your choice which group you end up in. If you think providing goods and services is going to tip the scales in your favor, don't be surprised when she starts thinking of you as a combination ATM and servant. Not sexy.

She's going to think, even if only subconsciously, and even if it isn't true, "This man is doing things for me because he is inadequate just by himself. I'll continue taking stuff from him, but I want a man who turns me on just with his physique, his style, his status, and his exciting life."

 

And this continues to be the case as time goes by. Here's what happens in a LTR when you do things for women. They get relaxed; they get comfortable. Their needs are met. Yours aren't. She isn't thinking about you. Because women are fundamentally lazy and selfish.

Don't women need to be comfortable to be ready for sex? LOL no they do not. In fact, the opposite is true. Getting her agitated can work very well for you. See below.

 

So I'm telling you that doing things for women is not only ineffective, it can actually work against you. And you're going to wonder what will happen when you don't buy her gifts and do shit for her. She is going to be pissed, right?

 

Advices number 2: Don't be afraid to have a woman be mad at you.

 

I remember a pivotal time in my personal Red Pill journey, years before TRP was a thing; a very simple story, but the lasting results were immense for me.

Scene: This woman left an empty container of something out, clearly indicating that I should go to the store and get another. Well, she had done something stupid or careless the day before, and I didn't feel like going to the store, so I didn't. I fully expected her to see that I didn't do the thing and blow up and freak out and say We need to TALK!

Didn't happen. She saw it wasn't replaced, and said "oh dear" and went to the store herself. And we banged when she got home, because she was agitated and unsure of where she stood in the relationship.

 

Subconsciously she realized that she was with a man who had more important shit to do than fetch crap for her, who wasn't going to be ordered around, and who didn't care about her stupid shit.

 

After that was repeated a few times, I had the courage of my convictions. The relationship is good, the sex is frequent and enthusiastic, I haven't done anything for her in years, and she is happy. And so I leave you with this:

 

Relationships are hard work is some cast-iron Blue Pill Bullshit.

 

Advices number 3: You don't work on the relationship. You work on yourself.

 

tl;dr: Make yourself into the man that women want, they won't care that you don't do anything FOR them, and they will want you to do things TO them, like fuck them in stairwells, or in a stranger's van parked on a public street, pile driver over the seatbacks.

 

This has been a pubic service announcement.


[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

[–]Xevalous 51 points52 points  (2 children)

I appreciate your honesty. There's a lot of boys on here who think doing ANYTHING means you're a blue pill bitch. I'd hate to see their work ethic. There's nothing wrong helping people out so as long as you're not being walked on.

[–]I_HATE_GOLD_ 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The difference is simple. Does someone just expect you to do these things? That’s where I draw the line because you aren’t appreciated.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 10 points11 points  (1 child)

On MRP we take the concept 1 step further. You are the leader, not her. If you do something it is for you since you are the leader- for the partner and the relationship.

This doesn't mean you refuse to do things for her. In fact, it often means that you end up doing more! Except you realize that you are not doing it for "her" but because it is YOUR house and YOUR home and YOUR family and it just needed to be done.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This doesn't mean you refuse to do things for her. In fact, it often means that you end up doing more! Except you realize that you are not doing it for "her" but because it is YOUR house and YOUR home and YOUR family and it just needed to be done.

A man who can read between the lines, right here.

This doesn't mean you refuse to do things for her.

It means you refuse to do stupid shit for her. And in the example in the post, I found it not only led to a better household, it led to her being turned on by it. Blew my mind at the time, makes sense now.

[–]TRPcez 111 points112 points  (11 children)

Couldn't have agreed more. Well written post. Information is spot on, women don't deserve shit from you. Focusing on oneself achieves more than focusing on one's relationship.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 65 points66 points  (10 children)

women don't deserve shit from you.

That's usually true, but the point is stronger: If you're the right kind of man, they don't WANT shit from you, except your physical presence. If you're the wrong kind of man, they'll happily drunk-dial your ass at 2AM so you can give them a ride to the right kind of man.

Focusing on oneself achieves more than focusing on one's relationship.

Yes, and it's what SHE wants, too; she wants you to continue to be a stud.

Next time you hear some fool talk about "working on the relationship," ask them to explain it to you without using abstract language. It's just nonsense.

[–]Alexinfinite01 0 points1 point  (9 children)

I feel like there's more to this. Can you explain the whole "working on relationship" talk with or without abstracts? I feel like I'm missing a chunk of knowledge here. If not, it's cool, we all busy as hell

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Can you explain the whole "working on relationship" talk with or without abstracts?

Usually people say shit like "we're working on trust issues" which is abstract and useless.

The closest thing I can think of for non-abstract terms would be "communication." It's not abstract because they are "sitting down and talking about it" and I'm LOLing about that.

Verbal communication between a man and a woman is where the man concedes and the woman twists the man's words and makes everything his fault.

paging /u/BluepillProfessor on the subject of communication bet. men and women LOL

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Not me! /u/Redpillcoach is the guy you want on male/female communication because I see it exactly like whatsthisgarg.

On the issue of working on the relationship, this means very different things to a woman and a man. Like Mars and Venus difference. Relationships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling, not work.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Not me! /u/Redpillcoach is the guy you want on male/female communication because I see it exactly like whatsthisgarg.

On the issue of working on the relationship, this means very different things to a woman and a man.

I was thinking of how you described counseling: the woman and the counselor hit the man in the groin with a baseball bat, or something; like that's good communication LOL in their minds it is!

[–]RedPillCoach 6 points7 points  (5 children)

I think the quote is something like: 'Counseling is giving the therapist and the wife two baseball bats and instructing them to beat the man. Therapy consists of teaching the man to stretch his balls so it hurts worse.'

On communication: Gottman has this covered. Blue Pill Alert but, after all, the topic is communication. Communication to a woman is not about actually communicating information. It is about communicating emotions and to a woman it is about emotional attunement. That is if a woman says: "We are not communicating" it means in many cases that you do not understand her emotionally. Or at least she thinks you do not understand her emotionally.

To fix it you ATTUNE to her emotions. You fail to attune when you:

"Dismiss a woman's emotions, try to fix them, distract her from them, minimize them, mock them or ignore them....Women want men who are there for them when they need them...Women need to feel respected, heard, and connected."

The Red Pill contribution is that women's definition of "feeling respected, hear, and connected" are different than they tell men. To a woman, being "respected" could include being thrown down and choked so men's confusion is not surprising.

However, feeling "heard" and "respected" can be accomplished fairly easily in just 20-30 minutes a day.

According to Gottman:

"Just think A-T-T-U-N-E

A: Attend. Provide your undivided attention. Turn off the video.

T-T: Turn Toward. Literally. Yes, turn your body toward your woman. Look her in the eye with curiosity and interest.

U: Understand. She can say the craziest things in the world and you just calmly nod your head. I think it was Eddie Murphy who said something about 'you guys you know when you want some pussy the girl be talking about shit and your like, the Cosmos, yes, of course.

N: Nondefensive Listening. Does the Lion concern himself with the affairs of sheep? No, but the Lion isn't banging the sheep so you do need to do a bit more.

E: Empathize- I know somebody is going to say they puked in their mouth but do it. Think of it a Vulcan Mind Meld and praise the Lord that you are not a Vulcan who is in an actual telepathic meld with the spouse for life.

You can "ATTUNE" for as long as you want says Gottman but I agree with Gottman you should do this for at least 20 - 30 minutes every day. That used to one of the points of the family dinner.

TLDR: STFU and listen for 20 minutes a day. Don't try to solve her problems. Let her vent and unload. Offer sympathy. Acknowledge her stupid shit and take a genuine interest in her problems and drama. Personally, I love chick drama. It is hilarious and quite entertaining. Like watching gentle puppies playing and frolicking together.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you for your contribution. I've seen your stuff in MRP and I didn't think it got the good reception it warranted (I don't know why, too much anger, frustration over there?). Anyway keep it up.

Don't try to solve her problems.

Took me a long time to get this one.

Woman: I'm having this problem at work blah blah.

Me: Solve it by this blah blah.

Woman: No, I just want you to listen.

Me: So you don't want to solve the problem you're telling me about?

Seems so stupid.

Are boys today trained against being problem-solvers? or is that more natural/untrained?

Here's another:

Woman: I'm not feeling supported by you right now.

Me: What are talking about? I support you by vivid example A, B, and C.

Woman: That is invalidating.

Me: So I'm just supposed to listen to you misrepresent my efforts and watch you construct a false view of our relationship in your head?

In the end, I'm agreeing with you (maybe); just STFU, pretend you're listening, do it your way, she's happier that way anyway, you can't convince her by talking about it, only by doing it.

[–]TheCaseyB 1 point2 points  (1 child)

In the second example you gave, I think that’s one of those times where “not feeling supported” needs to address by making her “feel respected” as was mentioned earlier, by choking her and re-aligning her perspectives.

My GF and I have a thing where if she’s being irrational and womanly, I can demand she get to her knees and suck my dick to calm down and realign her perspectives to what’s important. Now, if I’m genuinely in the wrong, or there’s actual confusion, that’s different. But misaligned and misunderstood emotions and anger I don’t deserve.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have seen plenty of women tell their men to be sure and fuck them hard if they get bitchy. It was the go to method for thousands and thousands of years because it works. When a women is itchy and bitchy the best thing a man can do for her is throw her down on the ground and fuck some sense into her. Usually that is why she is itchy and bitchy.

Women usually Shit Test when they want to get fucked. I don't know why or what they think is going to be accomplished by being a bitch but they do it all the time. It seems to be foreplay fro them because they have no idea how to initiate properly. They use the bitchy Shit Test to poke the man into fucking her instead of just saying: "Hey, I want you." Of course that would be directly assuming responsibility and putting themselves out there! They might get rejected so they think it is better to just poke and bitch in the hopes that a strong enough man will blow through their nonsense.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Gentle puppies: LMFAO!

I think this technique works to build your value as a man for your wife. In addition to lifting, getting in shape, responding to Shit Tests and so on you should also emotionally "ATTUNE" to the wife. This deepens the relationship and provides you a weapon you can take away when she is being a bad, sex denying harpy screechtard.

Remember, Dread doesn't work, or works very poorly when the woman does not value the man. This ATTUNE-ment nonsense is a skill that increases your value as a man to your woman.

Therefore, if "emotional connection" is an issue (according to the wife) then you should work on this ATTUNE skill.

However, if sexual denial is an issue you should first ATTUNE for the requisite 20 minutes or so. I would try this for 2-3 weeks. Then if she wants to play take-away, you can also play but now you have something to take away.

Again, Children with Dynamite. Don't go overboard with suddenly pulling your emotional support but eventually you want to tie into her mind, subconsciously, that going into Harpy Screechtard Sex Denial beast mode is NOT going to get her what she wants AND it is going to cost her valuable emotional support.

This is a tool, not an answer. It is a method, not a solution. However, it is very, very powerful so be careful.....and GO SLOW with pulling back from this.

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if sexual denial is an issue you should first ATTUNE for the requisite 20 minutes or so. I would try this for 2-3 weeks. Then if she wants to play take-away, you can also play but now you have something to take away.

I agree with this, in general, and this is a very reasonable, human being in the real world way to do it.

You could do it the other way around, deploy it as a reward AFTER the act only.

Or, my preference, more in line with the post: There's a guy ITT says they only have sex once a week. I said make that the ONLY attention you give her. If she wants more attention, she'll find the time and energy to fuck more than once a week.

[–]hipstersdontlie 42 points43 points  (0 children)

they will want you to do things TO them, like fuck them in stairwells, or in a stranger's van parked on a public street, pile driver over the seatbacks.

I think you have mentioned this briefly once before

[–]BetaBitchBoy69 10 points11 points  (1 child)

lmao i dated a broke ass poor chick who was smoking hot, i literally paid for everything we did..otherwise well we would have probably sat on a couch all day watching netflix. Idgaf it wasn’t like i was handing her money to buy shit, everything i paid for was her coming with me... she was along for the ride, i would have done it with or witbout her. That being said I don’t buy chicks drinks, ever

[–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

everything i paid for was her coming with me... she was along for the ride, i would have done it with or witbout her.

That's the key, that is exactly it. A lot of guys are reading this too simplistically: the stuff you're doing is for you, if she happens to benefit, fine; she can tell the difference.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (3 children)

Next time leave a note next to that empty container reminding her to also get more beer when she finally toddles over to the store to shop

[–]CanuckinFL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best lay I've had in a long time occurred because, initially jokingly, I said-in response to a shit test as to why she should or should not do something cause I said so-

"because I'm older. Because I'm smarter. Because I studied and received an education. And lastly, I'm 20+ years sober, so if I say go toddle over to the beer store, and get some beer even, just go get your shoes on.If I wanted lip out of you, I'll rattle my zipper." big smile, deadly serious in the eye.

I find it not unlike dealing with irritated dogs. You don't confront the energy of a woman, because by then you're done. You just don't know you're done if you're into arguing with them.

Redirect the energy and try to appreciate it for what it is. She kicks the tires every so often.

You just have to kick the tires more often. Simple in theory, vast in scope.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    "shouldn't be procreated with"

    Perhaps you are right but womens sexual attraction instincts were honed long ago where these types of men were the logical best bet.

    Its fun to debate and apply logic to what Should be!

    Its more fun to watch what women do and get your dick wet

    [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

    Have been reading TRP since late last year and been in a LTR 2 yrs now. It has definitely opened my eyes. With regard to Advice #1 - This past Valentines Day I did not buy her a present, did not get roses and only paid for dinner that night because it was my turn (we share paying when we eat out). Last 2 V Days I did a present and sent roses and picked up dinner at more expensive places. The result: she didn’t say a word and we still had awesome sex. And when I got home that night she texted me “thank you for spending tonight with me. Grateful for you.”
    This post is definitely on point - none of that shit matters.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    This past Valentines Day I did not buy her a present, did not get roses . . . The result: she didn’t say a word and we still had awesome sex.

    haha yes. I edited this part out: Shortly after I figured out that NOT doing stuff for her got her turned on, I tried a little experiment. It was Valentines day, many years ago. I went out to get groceries. Then she called me and asked me to pick up this other thing. Then I called her and asked what kind that other thing she wanted. Then the flowers (no gift, never do that on VD). Then I cooked a delicious dinner.

    The whole thing made me look like a good little bitch. And she was very comfortable. LOL

    Now that's over the top, doing one thing after another, but I have seen trends after doing JUST ONE thing. So I stopped, not caring that the relationship might end. It didn't. It got better.

    As I said in another post, about when I'm nice to her she isn't nice to me, and somebody commented saying tl;dr of the entire subreddit: "It's completely perverse, and I wish it wasn't so, but it is."

    [–]S-Blaze 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    ''Interesting shake-out from this in general: when I'm nice to her, she's not nice to me.''

    Yeah I observed that with all of them, mother, family, girls i've dated, strangers. When I was a kid my father tossed around that I was too rude with women, I told them straight to cut and slack off their shit and tantrums and they always loved me so much lol.

    I see this dynamic constantly with my father and mother, he's in a happy mood, goes a bit too soft and mellow and then my mother starts to poke him for stupid stuff, eventually he explode and my mother apologize, submit and lighten up, happy, lol. My father is naturally red pill and strong but he has a soft side like every man with a kind heart. This yin yang dynamic I guess this is in the women biology/instinct to make sure that the male is rough and fit for protection and survival hah.

    [–]Ananonguy88 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    Although, when you build your persona of a selfish fuck and treat her like a trash, she gets really happy with each rare occurrence of doing it "for her". I just can't help it, I'm a nice guy inside, when I see a girl smile because of some simple kindness, my heart is warming up. I know I'm digging my grave, but I am human in the end. I still try to show it as rarely as I can. It's so sad that being like this and allowing myself being natural would not get me laid as much.

    [–]CanuckinFL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Adroitly stated, sir.

    I do this from time to time, and I almost immediately realize, with a tint of sadness, AS I DO IT that it's incorrect.

    A recent example: I have a unilingual Brazilian plate who waits patiently for me to call her Fri nights, and occasionally during the week for wicked, wicked sex. We almost cannot communicate, since I have NO Portuguese. It works fine. We really only talk in banalities-

    While I'm with her, she literally inundates me with giving. I have never given her a thing, not 1 single kind gesture, in 2 years. I always go to her place, and she has never seen the inside of my house. At one point she was staying at her son's house, he lives a block away from me. We'd nod and wave if she walked by.

    I told her I'd take her to dinner sometime, and the reaction was so poor, so bewildered, that I smiled and said "I'm kidding". This woman is not Americanized. I respect the Hell out of that bitch, strangely. Never shit tests, loves the sex.

    If you see them stop loving being women around you, it's time to go.

    [–]biglaughingcock 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    As Tony Soprano put it to his wife:

    "You think you have a right to divorce me? You don't deserve shit, woman!"

    [–]XenoMetrick 2 points3 points  (6 children)

    I do stupid shit for my woman all the time, even when I don't want to. Its not that she can't, she's just lazy. So do I just put the proverbial foot down and say, "No, damn it, I'm tired of this shit!" Or do I play this in some way that better benefits me? For context, we fuck maybe once a week, its when she feels like it, and there's a whole protocol for fucking that I have to follow or my balls to blue.

    And please, dudes, don't give me the usual shit about how beta I am. I'm relatively new to TRP and I'm just asking for some advice from semi-like-minded individuals.

    [–]africanpyjamas69 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    "No babe, you'll have to do that yourself i'm gonna hit the gym right now"

    You don't want to be unnecessarily offensive or butthurt, but you want to set your boundaries. You could either use that first one or say something more fun and flirty like

    "I would find it more exciting to be watching you assemble the bookshelves"

    For the first one she will probably wonder what she did wrong for you to stand up to her. Wouldn't be surprised if that leads to sex that night.

    For the second one you're setting a sexual vibe (which i'm guessing you rarely do since you only have sex once a week). Not only are you getting her to do something for you, you're getting her to want to do something for you. Remember, women like to be submissive. When she's submissive and in her feminine you'll naturally be having a lot of sex.

    I'm sure a lot of the people here on TRP would say something more aggressive and more direct to their woman if she was that lazy, that's not really my style though.

    [–]XenoMetrick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well thank you for your feedback. Gonna try that first approach, see where it gets me

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I do stupid shit for my woman all the time, even when I don't want to.

    Don't do anything that you don't want to do. And how do you get out of it? You have something better to do with your time and energy. It's really that simple.

    Maybe some people are reading this too simplistically. What you are doing with your time is making your own life good; if she happens to benefit from that, even better.

    So do I just put the proverbial foot down and say, "No, damn it, I'm tired of this shit!" Or do I play this in some way that better benefits me?

    Less talk is better, and avoid negativity. Just laugh and say "I'm pretty sure you can handle it; I'm doing something else."

    For context, we fuck maybe once a week

    Make that the only time you spend giving her attention, and if she wants more attention, she find more time and energy to fuck.

    My woman and I are like animals: all we do together is eat and fuck.

    [–]CanuckinFL 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Bingo. And I would add here, hastily.

    NO, and I mean NO complimenting OTHER than during sex. Then I say what I want, roughly. But outside the bedroom, no compliments, not even side ones. This lesson was bought and paid for dearly, so I tack it on here with some purpose. Pay heed, don't compliment.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    no compliments, not even side ones. This lesson was bought and paid for dearly

    I want to hear the story of how you learned the hard way.

    [–]Ananonguy88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Simple points, should be obvious, yet I still come here to get reminded about these. Keep em coming.

    [–]abhi_07 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Wish I had learned this 8 years ago!

    [–]TelemachusRising 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You haven’t fully swallowed the pill till you get in that stranger’s van and undo all that “never get into a stranger’s van” bluepill conditioning.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "You don't work on the relationship, you work on yourself" That's a great advice right there, so much truth in this!

    [–]Martysteiner 4 points5 points  (8 children)

    Well written post. You know after sex, women mostly bring up the question "what are we?" as they're looking for a validation for a relationship. This is what you would do for women.

    And if you refuse replying that question, the game goes on and you get your sweet reward: Sex. This is what would you do to women.

    Just an example.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    "what are we?"

    I definitely failed this one once. Or twice. I even stepped into it without her asking. Here you go, if you want to laugh at my 20-yr-old idiocy.

    [–]cuggwy 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    In your experience how should we answer the what are we question?

    I read your historic post you linked, thank you. But their wasn't an answer in there.

    I had this come up and end badly for me a couple of weeks ago.

    [–]justin_w95 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    You can find the answer to that I’m the sidebar

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    In your experience how should we answer the what are we question?

    "what are we?"

    sidebar

    yeah /u/cuggwy look up Heartiste "It's complicated"

    I have straight up told a woman I didn't have time to be her "boyfriend." She was fine with it.

    On the other hand another woman I said after fucking for 3 months or so "This is just physical" and she left for good.

    You have to be fine with whatever response you get; they're just women, you're going to meet thousands more in your life.

    [–]justin_w95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You have to be willing to walk away no matter how she reacts to your decision. I think I’ve answered that question one time by using something gaylubeoil said. Couple minutes after we got done fucking I got hungry and she tagged along when she decided to pop that question and my response was “ I’m the type that’s spontaneous so I let things happen naturally. I’m open to a relationship but not if it’s rushed, forced or pressured”. She could’ve not accepted my response and I would’ve been fine with losing that plate but she’s still around after many months /u/cuggwy

    [–]freshoutofgravitas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    "well, considering I just fucked you without a condom... Pregnant. We are pregnant.".
    I thought that line was hilarious. it could backfire on you.

    [–]TooHoly999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I heard someone suggest you say, "we.... Are....." Like you're Clint Eastwood in deep thought and the going "FARMERS! Buhbudumdumbududum." YMMV.

    [–]Elky-pop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Would you consider this a comfort test? What would be the objective of this qn.? Got it before but couldn't understand the reason for asking.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    He's talking about sex fellas. doing the sex

    [–]Host_of_Embers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fucking boss. Thank the universal deity for Reddit and TRP.

    [–]wataDs 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I just had a minor epiphany of some fucking up I just did with my main plate.

    Didn't hit her up for a couple of weeks including vday. Hit her up a few days ago, helped her install some shelves (i wanted to learn how, worked out for both of us but still a weak move) Just yesterday I decided to take her on a pricey make-up dinner. Afterwards she drops hints (I gotta go to sleep early today) as we are driving back as she had a job she had to get up early for and rebuffed sex for the first time in ever. I don't give a fuck if she has preparing to do for the next day, she could've just as easily foregone some sleep same as all those times before this but coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) she wasn't in the mood this time.

    [–]bmw_love 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    *Didn't happen. She saw it wasn't replaced, and said "oh dear" and went to the store herself. And we banged when she got home, because she was agitated and unsure of where she stood in the relationship. *

    WOW lol gold

    [–]slowgril 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I have a question for you guys.

    Say you have a long distance plate or girlfriend who's too young and broke to come see you, after she moved back to her parents' house for the summer. She's begging you to buy her a plane ticket so she can come and suck your dick 24/7 for the entire week.

    Would you reward her with that plane ticket if the opportunity arises (birthday, really good behavior, etc.) or would it be beta behavior, setting a bad precedent that will probably ruin the relationship?

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    She's begging you to buy her a plane ticket so she can come and suck your dick 24/7 for the entire week.

    That's a damn good question, really good for the post subject.

    If I had to put odds on it, I would say there's a 5% chance that would turn out. I'm totally serious. Tell her "sorry can't do it, but if you can come up with the cash come on over, I'll find some room for you, somewhere." That way, if she does find the funds, she is motivated.

    I would never spend air fare (and more on food) and potentially waste a week on that lousy opportunity, when you could be on to other women, of whom there are thousands within your reach.

    [–]JensenMse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Keywords FOR and TO. I just checked in my dictionary for their meanings (I couldn't wrap my head around this statement fully until I looked up the words myself.)

    FOR: In the interest or to the benefit of; intended to go to. In support, defense, favor of. In exchange against. As a reward of. Because of. Considering or making due allowance in respect to.

    TO: Expressing purpose, consequence, or cause

    The wording is so simple to see, and self explanatory as well. The dictionary's meaning of FOR is much longer and more expressive as that of TO.

    In our case, FOR simply points out that you are trying to coax our way into what we want from them (the sex) by negotiating with them; unlike TO which simply stems expressing yourself by giving them the feels and the tingles to actually want to participate in sex with you.

    Do not "reward" your girls for being your girls who give you sex. Instead take them on adventures that will certainly make them want you more. Be the prize, not the contestant.

    [–]StimulusPackageOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Great post. Makes me think of back in my past LTR (many years back), I finally got the catch when my SO gave me lists of shit to do...

    Very simple stuff really, but this will make it very concrete for guys out-there that aren't sure how to apply this in their classic day-to-day boring LTR moments.

    I used to be that guy who said sure baby let me do these. And so I would take care of the list. I would do everything and feel goddamn good about it when it was done. It all sounds great. But...

    One time, going down "our" list (BP alert) a buddy of mine asks some advice on a software issue. So I dropped the rest of list and worked on his situation.

    After the week-end my SO looks at me and said "hey you didn't go through all the list", and I just said I had something else to do. So she said OK. And it's at that very moment I got it. I had much better things to do than this list... of basically what she thought was important.

    From that point I just did less and less on the lists and just worked on things that I thought we're much better for me, my situation and my son. Lifting, playing music, reading, having a great time with my son and so on.

    At one point she talked about the list one last time, and I said NO, I have more important things to do, I have mine. She practically said nothing and we just moved on.

    So do shit for YOU, identify things that will make your life better, stronger and the rest will just follow. And all of this can happen without any fights or problems. My approach was gradual an so she just fell into it. No need to argue or fight, just go on with your day and she will follow.

    [–]Eclectiqque 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    spot-on as always.

    grateful for this.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Good to see you again, my friend. I hope all is well.

    Aaaaannnnd, I know you're in the middle of it, and you're going to have some stories to tell. Take your time, but don't forget.

    [–]Eclectiqque 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    i didn’t understand your comment

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    i didn’t understand your comment

    you've got two girls of a certain ethnicity fighting over you; it's going to go one way or another

    [–]Eclectiqque 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    it's going to go one way or another

    i got you now. started internalising that if I sit back, enjoy the ride and stop asking myself (or you lol) all these questions, it will be unfolded in front of my eyes.

    wish you the best.

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    all these questions, it will be unfolded in front of my eyes.

    hopefully there will be a field report on this; I mean, you could basically just describe the entire year when it's over, doesn't have to be complicated

    do enjoy the ride, that's a great attitude at any age

    [–]anabolic92 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I could read your post pretty quick, maybe a kind of potato question but this example came to my mind.

    Last day a girl I fucked, we don't anymore just stupid flirting, had to go home and her bike broke, I helped her fixing it doing something for her, was it such a bad move if I ever want to escalate to fucking again?

    [–]3whatsthisgarg[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    had to go home and her bike broke, I helped her fixing it doing something for her, was it such a bad move if I ever want to escalate to fucking again?

    Naw man, there are always exceptions. Men fix things. Compared to most guys today, just exhibiting some basic competence can look like magic to women. You can't talk about it, though. You can't say "I fixed your bike, lemme touch your boob" when she puts on the LMR.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Jinkeeze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Pubic service announcement.

      [–]acekilo -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

      Met this 19yr old soldier today and he's married to a 41yr old lady with 2 grown children 18 and 19. I told him she got his ass and he said he got her. What a fucking Beta Bitch. Too many Marines and Military guys are getting fucked daily for being beta bitches and they don't know it. Try to ask them what red pill mean and they got no fucking clue. I left them alone and tell them to research if they want to learn and left them alone.

      [–]Talisman64 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Soldiers live an uncertain life They can kick the bucket at any time

      Obviously,the babe is using him for the pay check If a man doesn't want to learn,he won't learn..

      Let him feel the pain then he will find the truth. Men learn through pain not words

      [–]d0lphinsex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Do Not Talk About The Red Pill.