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Field ReportWhen she's making it simple, don't make it difficult. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by OneInAZillion

When I was in college way-back-when, I lived in an apartment about a 1 minute walk way from a bar - the bar that would become my college watering hole. My first time going there, I got the number of an absolute smokeshow of a bartender. We made plans to get a drink one night, but the day of, I just got way too drunk during the day and was in no condition to do anything that evening. So nothing happened with her.

Over the next few months I brought a maybe 5-6 girls to that same bar. It was my go-to place to bring girl, and friends in general. Great service, great atmosphere, quiet enough that we could talk, etc. A lot of the time, it'd be that exact same girl who would serve us. I could tell she was a bit jealous and often times completely ignored the girl I was sitting with while getting orders. She'd look me dead in the eye and not even glace over at the girl.

When I went there with guy friends, I noticed she stuck around my table a bit to talk, and also when I went up to the bar to get a drink (and she served me), she pretty much did the same thing - she wouldn't ever just give me a drink and that'd be that. She always said at least a little something, however harmless.

I never ended up texting her again until a few months later, I got a bit curious about her and decided to antagonize her a bit with a text:

[Paraphrased; college was years ago]:

Me: "It's $1 beers tomorrow right?"

Her: Yep.

Dead silence for like half an hour

Her: "Who's the lucky girl?"

Me: "Jealous?"

Her: "What do all these girls see in you?"

Me: "You wanna find out?"

The next day she had off she was in my bed. I could have made small talk, been somewhat of a beta and struck up a long conversation about dating and life or whatever else which is a mistake I think a lot of guys make, but I just figured that since I had social proof (jealousy is the ultimate aphrodisiac for women), and since she was jealous, saw me with other (good-looking) girls, and knew that I had other options, I figured the odds were in my favour.

I figured I didn't really need to make things too difficult for myself. I got straight to the point. Even if she had said no, at least I didn't waste a bunch of time. Better to get a no in 5 minutes than in 5 months.

Lessons learned:

  • Don't complicate things

  • Get a yes/no quickly. Don't waste your time.

  • When she's making it easy, just let it be easy.


[–]Self-honest 652 points653 points  (13 children)

When she's making it simple, don't make it difficult.

Also, when she's making it difficult, make it simple. Go find somebody else to fuck.

[–][deleted] 150 points151 points  (3 children)

Man we overthink so much, the simple shit is often the most effective.

[–]1jb_trp 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I've heard a quote: If a woman is currently into you, she'll make it easy for you. She'll open the door and all you have to do is walk through. When that same chick closes the door, all you have left to do is walk away.

So many of the posts on askTRP are, "There's this one girl, things were good, now they're not... What can I do to fix this?" They don't get it. Bro, there is no "fixing it." There's walking away, bettering yourself, and finding your own path. Women will come along for the ride as long as it suits them, and not a second longer. Don't get hung up on someone who isn't at all invested in you.

[–]dthlist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Wtf is that tag next to your name?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Cuz I'm hilarious so I got this nickname.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Falconsbeardedchess 45 points46 points  (1 child)

    Well, you obviously didn't fuck her. Thats the problem right there. The oneitis is going to come from the good ones that won't let you fuck them. They are masters of their trade. Beware.

    [–]Self-honest 16 points17 points  (3 children)

    If you can't seem to overcome your oneitis with the help of the sidebar, I recommend finding nine more girls that are hot enough to make you feel the exact same way. Then you'll have ten-itis (tinnitus: a ringing or buzzing sound in the ears, often associated with hearing loss).

    At some point the signal to noise ratio (the ratio of the strength of a signal carrying information to that of interference) will reach a point where any lingering thoughts of "this one special girl" are completely drowned out.

    There can't be one special girl if there are ten. Even if you found ten, there are obviously ten more waiting around the next corner.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Self-honest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      She's the first girl I actually want to date and not just fuck

      "Just as women, who are the gatekeepers of sex, still crave and enjoy sex, men can and do feel real affection for the right sort of woman, and will actively want to do so."

      I hear you man. You need to kill the oneitis either way, but go read Whisper's post I quoted from and linked above if you haven't already.

      [–]_spenman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hey man really new to TRP and I am trying to get through the insane amount of info in the side bar ( I think my biggest issue being oneitis. Would you have any direct links with good content on this?

      [–]HerefortheTuna 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Don’t get oneitis from chicks who won’t put out for you.

      [–]bslizzle 165 points166 points  (10 children)

      This is extremely important for those starting out. When you start lifting, improving your confidence, etc. you naturally become more attractive. The issue comes when a Beta who seems attractive opens his mouth. If she's already into you, lead her along. Don't treat it like you're still trying to get her attention.

      [–]extreme_aardvark 65 points66 points  (1 child)

      “If she's already into you, lead her along. Don't treat it like you're still trying to get her attention.”

      Sonofabiatch. Why am I just NOW finding this out? /facepalm

      [–]Chaddeus_Rex 22 points23 points  (6 children)

      lead her along

      Can you clarify this? What do you mean by 'lead her along'?

      [–]dingman58 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      Take her somewhere and bang her

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      If a horse is galloping towards the goal then you don't need to convince it to want to reach the goal, just make sure it doesn't go off track.

      [–]redd_reality 54 points55 points  (4 children)

      Great post op.

      Your point actually transcends many arenas of life. Often times our greatest obstacle in obtaining the object of our desire - the new job, degree, award etc. Isn't the external ones, but ourself. We feel deep down, unconsciously even, that we aren't good enough and don't deserve the bounty we are about to receive.

      Self sabatoge is very real and it is fucking essential to recognize the feeling in ourself and cut that shit out.

      [–]GallantSoul 21 points22 points  (3 children)

      Self sabotage is too damn real. When everything is going perfectly, I always find a way to shoot myself in the foot.

      [–]redd_reality 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      There's a good section in Models by mark Manson, where he explains after a decade of travelling and running game, where basically all of his anxiety is gone, but the only thing that remains is the voice in his head that disqualifies others. "her hairs too short", "she's too old", "I shouldn't have to approach her, she should say something to me" type stuff.

      This type of defeating or diminishing self talk is the psyches way of preserving the status quo and an attempt to limit change.

      Personally, my day is fucking filled with instances where ill be going about my business and I might see or hear someone else and I instantly make disqualifying statements about them in my head. It's truly toxic and one of my biggest hurdles as of late.

      [–]WolfofAnarchy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Wow it's great you're battling that, because unlike many here, prejudices based on small things are toxic as hell, making you bitter.

      [–]redd_reality 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Truth be told, some of my most toxic perspectives originated from trp.

      The key here though, is to realize that trp only offered me the truth. It was I who took the truth and colored it with bitter sentiment.

      One could just as easily frame trp truths in a strictly positive and productive light.

      For years I've worked at rewriting my perspectives regarding women. First, they were angels, then post trp, they were cunning Machiavellian hags. These days, they're feminine humans struggling to find meaning in their lives just like men. I love them for more of what they are, instead of judging them for what they are. I believe this also allows them to see me similarly, in my masculine respects.

      [–]2kez88 39 points40 points  (0 children)

      Good post. Another thing I'll tack on. Sometimes I've lost girls because they seemed keen and I thought I had to do more to win them over or fuck me. Things like put in some dirty talk or flirt more or something. When if I had just said 'cool, come back to my place for xyz' they probably would have.

      [–][deleted]  (11 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]ivaskuu 10 points11 points  (10 children)

      Do you have a favorite book to recommend for body language, and cocky and funny? Thanks!

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [removed]

        [–]RUALUM15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If I make a bad joke, I don't apologize for real, even if the girl acts insulted. I make another.

        Great point. Just got back from a trip to Miami where these two girls were giving me shit from day 1. I hooked up with one of them by being cocky/funny and flirting with them as soon as we arrived. No one is going to nail every joke/witty comment 100% of the time. Sometimes women are going to give you a look because you messed up. You have to follow it up with another one because when that joke/witty comment makes her laugh, she'll forget all about the last stupid thing you said. If you don't take women seriously, you'll have more fun because you're controlling the interaction. I routinely get the "you're such an asshole" comments because I say whatever I want. I told the girls at breakfast one day that they are here to amuse me and if they don't like it that they can walk away. But they recognize that they're having too much fun to leave, so I continue to do what I'm doing. Great point.

        [–]6ix_ -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

        This was awesome and really helpful. Do you mind if I pm you and ask you a couple of questions? No biggie if not.

        [–]Pilliam66 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        You've already asked a question when you could've just got to the point

        [–]Self-honest 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Do you have any experience to draw off of with either of these?

        Edit: are you cocky, or funny? Can you read body language at all? Where are you at in your journey?

        [–]RUALUM15 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Can you read body language at all?

        I know this point is beaten to death, but read "What Every Body is Saying" by Joe Navarro. It's a great body language guide, but most body language is intuitive. You can tell when you offended someone, but you have to decide whether that discomfort is on the surface or more deeply wounded someone. And part of that is where your comment is coming from. Most women know that my goal isn't to be malicious when I'm talking to them because maliciousness comes from a place of insecurity, whereas humor comes from a place of security. If you're lightly teasing a girl she will recognize that and be receptive, but if you're flat out rude, she will realize that you're no longer playing a game with her. If you tease her, expect shit tests, but if you are rude, expect her to walk away or be closed off to your advances. Hope that helps.

        [–]MySpiritGuide 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        ^ this.. I really would like to hear from you

        [–]blkMGTOW07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I recommend how to be a 3% man by coach Corey Wayne.

        [–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Just as an aside.

        Cocky/funny is one way of pulling girls into your frame and it works, if you’re cocky and funny.

        There are other ways of getting laid that work just as well.

        [–]mrcs84usn 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        This is like the classic rules of getting with women.

        1. Be attractive

        2. Don't be unattractive

        Your story is rule 2 in a nutshell. When she already likes you, you just have to not fuck it up.

        [–]47rivers 28 points29 points  (6 children)

        I laugh at people who think redpillers are incel types- they just have no idea how clueless they are when it comes to sex, and how easy it is.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        The incels didn't fare too well around here.

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        If you're confident, sex is very easy.

        Be fit, confident, and attractive. The rest is easy.

        [–]Banned-in-Boston 20 points21 points  (3 children)

        TRP is misunderstood by most people. They do not realize it is a successful hospital for losers.

        [–]strikethrough123 24 points25 points  (2 children)

        100%. Started lifting. Lost my V. Hit double digit N count. Moved out parent's place. Landed a good job. All due to two years of TRP.

        [–]_spenman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Literally just found this sub today, but what I am noticing is a lot of the stuff on here are things I learned the hard way in the past 5-7 years to basically not be BP and my life has drastically changed since

        [–]oldslut 13 points14 points  (1 child)

        yes, all good, and it seems like it worked out well for you... but i would have kept her to get free drinks, and fucked all the other chicks i brought there. once you fuck the bartender and things go sour, you might end up losing your watering hole... in other words, don't shit where you drink ;)

        [–]tonguexp 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        Bar oneitis? There is a bar on every corner. No one bar is yours, just your turn.

        [–]shockinghillaryquote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        This is a great example, but I still have to marvel at the ridiculous nature of the Hamster. Do these women ever reflect on their internal mechanisms? Do they have any self-awareness of their impulses, why they like a guy, why they behave a certain way?

        The fact they don't, I suppose, is to the male's advantage.

        [–]dingman58 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Lots of positivity and encouragement in this thread. Good post OP and good on you for starting a positive conversation

        [–]Luckyluke23 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        since I had social proof (jealousy is the ultimate aphrodisiac for women), and since she was jealous, saw me with other (good-looking) girls, and knew that I had other options, I figured the odds were in my favour.

        this is the step guys fail on. they make it LONG when they don't have the social proof. nobody whats to sit through your boring shit. get to the point.

        [–]Poof_Wonder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I cringe because I sent a girl a witty message and she implied that she would in fact go out, but right when I started a normal conversation she didn't respond. ughghghahdhgahgldhahg

        [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Thread title is good and relevant, polish the story a bit more pls.